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r/AssholeDesign

06 May 2026 19:26

The Phillips Roku ad box TV that never... ever stops playing ads.

My 2 year old 72" Phillips Roku decided it was doing ads when the TV was off!

Context:

I have old high end surround PC speakers plugged in to the TV that are always on, these things have amazing sound quality, and are literally 15 years old. They never fail and always deliver--they will melt your face off.

The problem with that:

The speakers are turned up about 3/4 of the way because they're not wireless and have no remote--they're old school, so volume is controlled inside the TV apps for ease of couch use. I've noticed the TV has gotten a couple updates that completely removed my chosen app list which was an asshole design another user has touched on, so I won't divert too much attention on that.... Needless to say I was already annoyed by this development that took me the better part of an hour to straighten out, and found myself sleepy after being irritated fixing this TV's botched update for almost an hour.

I'm about to doze off, so rather than wasting electricity leaving the TV on during my Saturday nap, I turn it off and try to catch some quick zzs.

This was a critical error that my ad possessed demon Roku would soon rectify.

After about 10 minutes, I was awoken by the loudest, most annoying ad I have ever heard in my life. The subwoofer is blasting shaking the picture on the wall, and I was jolted awake. I thought someone had gotten in the house to screw with me, someone who would soon get payback. After confirming I am in fact alone the ad ends while I'm in another room. I still can't figure out how it all happened, until it happens again while I scratched my head in bewilderment. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

THE DAMN TV WAS PLAYING ADS WHILE IT WAS TURNED OFF.

This was an unforgivable intrusion that ruined my afternoon nap. It was a personal affront to my peace, and it must be rectified!

I suspect it was the screensaver being as loaded. I disabled it and turned off the TV for ten minutes.

BLARING AD!

I shut off all ad options in settings and turn the TV off again for ten minutes.

BLARING AD!

In frustration I disconnected the TV from the Internet.

Problem solved right? Technically... Yes, but the TV was not ready to give up its ad addiction. It annoyingly started spamming the indicator light trying to get me to give it back to the Internet. As I stared through the dimmly lit room at the double blinking led that was brighter than the TV screen I was at a loss for words.

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

The tv called to me. "Feed my needs servant o' mine, become the product! Give in and give me internet, so that I might show you shows and wonders aplenty."

I stared incredulously at the audacity of this TV.

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

A new crusade against annoyance has begun, I will not be swayed!

I spend around thirty minutes combing through every possible setting dialing back anything that can be to get it to stop-- I even tell this monstrosity to forget it ever had an internet connection. It doesn't work.

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

The bright red led calls out for the ad pleasures it once had.

It's decided, the secret menu will solve it most likely! I do the Roku remote dance to remove the demons from this TV.

Did it work?
NO!

I can practically hear the TV laugh at me as it gives me secret menu 2 that only has debug options.

"This is what you've asked for servant. Truly there is no other menu. Give in, connect me again so that I may deliver wonders to thine eyes"

I do a different dance. No response.

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

Blink blink,

This abominable technology has somehow disabled the secret menu that will rid me of the accused blinking.

This exorcism of ad demons and annoyances had reached a tipping point of no return... It was either dumpster this evil spawn ad nightmare, or the nuclear software option.

It was decided!

One last hurrah to end this dystopian nightmare ad monster once and for all!

The memory of the ads blasting in the