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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
It's hard to be ace in this society
Everything in society is so sex-based. Even our beloved movies and tv shows have unnecessary added sex-scenes making them seem like cheap crap. Every add and piece of media seems so geared towards encouraging people to have more sex. Since we live in a hypersexual world we definitely put sex on a pedestal. It's even getting to the point where if you simply don't have sex with anyone one you're seen as prudish and viewed the same as people who don't drink at parties. You seem less fun and maybe even like a buzz-kill. I always pictured myself as this fun guy and I feel less fun because I don't like having sex. I mean hormonally I do but logically it's just so dumb not to mention disgusting and unsanitary. I've known people in college who couldn't go a week without having a random hook-up and people who consider it a big life accomplishment to have a high body count yet somehow asexuals are the weird ones. I dunno it's just hard to be seen as valid for not wanting sex in such a primitive and backwards society. I wish that changed. I wish anything changed so people can accept each other for who they are and not assume so little of someone who simply isn't all that into sex.
https://redd.it/1hal9h4
@asexualityonreddit
If you saw this ring in the wild, would you think it's an ace ring or not? Since it's not a standard plain black ring, I'm wondering if people would recognise it. Would you?
https://redd.it/1haftpe
@asexualityonreddit
Books and shows to enjoy
Being asexual I find sex scenes irritating and distracting.
Can anyone suggest some books or movies, shows that do not have ‘romance’ in them?
Maybe there are some with romance but no sex.
Thanks
https://redd.it/1hac4vf
@asexualityonreddit
The "garlic bread or (insert fictional character here)" is getting so old and doesn't even apply to me or many other asexual people here. plus even if it was uninclusive as hell, it's just an old joke already, the punchline never changes.
https://redd.it/1h9xqtt
@asexualityonreddit
Asexuality & Substance
Does your attraction / libido / whatever else change when you’re drunk or high? I mean, like being repulsed turning into something else for an hour or so. Or just being a bit more curious.
I’m not saying I’m sure what I’d call that, but I just notice that I feel a bit less repulsed. It worries me because I kinda start thinking that I’m not really ace and blah blah blah—I know it’s probably not how it works but I’ve never came across such a discussion. What do you know, from resources or your own experiences?
P.S. Drugs are bad we know that alright?
https://redd.it/1ha767a
@asexualityonreddit
Does being asexual make it more likely that the person will end up being bi or pan?
This is probably a weird and/or stupid question, but it's kind of been on my mind for awhile for some reason. It may just be because I don't understand/don't experience sexual attraction, but I never really grasped the concept of being attracted to people because of their gender? To me you're just a person, and you're either attractive to me or not, whether it be aesthetically, emotionally, etc. Does it have to do with genitals for allosexual people? Or just a general preference in appearances? It's most likely because I am pan, but it's always been confusing to me.
https://redd.it/1gznbla
@asexualityonreddit
How would you describe yourself as accurately as possible?
Here's how I would:
On the Asexual spectrum, crossing the Aegosexual and Greysexual lines, but also with Demi-leanings.
= Demi-Greyaego Ace
(Also, sorry if the flair isn't accurate)
https://redd.it/1gzifj9
@asexualityonreddit
What is the appeal of sex if you’re asexual?
So I am not asexual. My parter is, though. They used to have a sex drive, but it went away after they started taking antidepressants. They aren’t on meds anymore, but their sex drive hasn’t come back.
My partner is completely okay with having sex if I want to. I never initiate though because it always makes me feel weird. It makes me feel like all of the focus is on me, and they don’t get anything from it at all. I feel kinda icky about it? Like they’re having sex to make me happy? I asked my partner about it, and they said they like making me feel good. They were saying the sex itself doesn’t make them feel pleasure, but giving me pleasure is the main driving force here. I genuinely still don’t understand the appeal. We haven’t had sex in 7 months because I feel weird about initiating. Does anyone have some insight on the other side of this? I’m having a really hard time understanding. I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m taking advantage or something idk
https://redd.it/1gzb0ys
@asexualityonreddit
I think I am asexual and it’s killing my husband.
Female, married for 15+ years, one child. I’ve always felt like a fraud about sex. Always felt like I was play acting somewhat at being a sexual person. Never really felt the urge or drive to have sex. I have enjoyed it before but it’s taken on such baggage for me now I can’t separate any enjoyment from all that baggage, to work out how I truly feel. Our sex life from the beginning has always been deficient for my husband and a source of stress for me. He has tried to get me more interested, has genuinely tried to let me take the lead and to figure out what I like. He’s been willing to try anything. I feel like a failure. I told him I thought I might be asexual and his reaction was devastation. I feel I have completely destroyed him. He said he could have muddled through before with the hope, however small, of maybe our sex life being able to improve but me telling him that I’ve never been sexually attracted to him has basically destroyed him and made him feel like our marriage has been a complete lie. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t trying to trick him, I genuinely didn’t know. I have felt broken all my life, I didn’t know how important sex is to a normal person and how fundamental it is to some peoples concept of a romantic relationship. I know that I fell in love with my husband. I know that I find him handsome and funny and he’s a great dad. I also know that I can’t enjoy sex unless I am feeling emotional connection to him and I haven’t felt it in so long, and now
I don’t think it can ever come back, because he believes that I’ve basically lied to him our entire marriage and he has no interest in having sex with someone who doesn’t want it the same way he does. I don’t know what to do.
https://redd.it/1gzb7md
@asexualityonreddit
Allos attempts at not sexualizing stuff
https://redd.it/1gz89jm
@asexualityonreddit
So I’m gay
As you read I’m gay but I think I’m asexual, I like the idea of dating but hate the idea of sex. I used to but now it’s disgusting to me, I thought I was just overreacting since I still masturbate? Any advice?
https://redd.it/1gz5k83
@asexualityonreddit
Why is everything about sex?
I'm not even talking about being asexual or not anymore, it seems like absolutely everything is connected to sex.
In movies, unless they are for children, there always has to be a sex scene. They never add much to the plot other than gratuitously showing me scenes of naked people sharing fluids.
Conversations between friends always have to include some sex, often very explicit even if we don't share that level of intimacy.
Saying that you think a guy is nice person and then being asked "Why? Do you like him? Would you sleep with him?"
When people put sex first in a relationship as something important when a relationship is much more complex than just that.
When you haven't had sex in a long time and people seem to lose their minds like it's the most important thing in life.
When singers start gaining fame just because they start sexualizing themselves.
When advertising campaigns use sex as a way to sell.
When you're young and everyone's pressuring you to lose your virginity because it's a "super important thing".
It's everywhere and the worst thing is that if you refuse to be part of all that strange idealization towards sex and you are someone more private or who doesn't think about sex, you are a saint, a wretch, a puritan, a fake, a spoilsport, a dullard, a frigid.
I'm really so tired of this society, you can never be completely yourself, they will always judge you no matter what you are. I just want to live free
https://redd.it/1gz317p
@asexualityonreddit
Any trans aces? Did HRT impact your asexuality in any way?
Hi. I'm AMAB. I want to start hrt soon. But I want to know if there's anyone who knows how that affects asexuality. I like that I'm Ace. I want that to not change with hormones.
https://redd.it/1gyxjjx
@asexualityonreddit
I hate having a libido...
I (M22) like all your support from my previous post. Thank you.
This shit just makes me depressed. I just hate having a libido. Like why do I have one? I don't want sex nor do I feel happy from it. Theres no point of my having one at all. Its pointless but I have to bloody deal with it. I don't know what purpose it serves when the outcome is just dealing with a hassle.
https://redd.it/1gyt87d
@asexualityonreddit
Do people believe you when you say you are ace?
I am a guy and people can’t grasp it at all, specially people that fancy me, and even some people try to push me to be like super gay because I’m not the typical douchebag and that drives me insane
https://redd.it/1gygia9
@asexualityonreddit
Is there a spectrum to being ace?
So, I'm currently in a relationship and I feel sexual attraction toward my partner and we have sex, but sometimes I feel the exact opposite and am sex repulsed. I switch from both of these from time to time, and I was wondering if there's a spectrum to asexuality and if there's a label to what I'm experiencing?
https://redd.it/1hak9gx
@asexualityonreddit
I made a new flag cause I think the current one sucks, I’m colorblind so bear with me. Thoughts?
https://redd.it/1hafxo3
@asexualityonreddit
Are we asexuals lame in others eyes?
Based on personal experience i think in others eyes we actually are…
https://redd.it/1habt47
@asexualityonreddit
I really think literature of the entire human race care about sex too much
I consider myself as gray-ace. I don't feel sexual attraction often and I don't have urge for sex. I have a long term partner and sex is an okay part of my life that I can live with and live without.
So that's my background.
I was reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. First of all, it's a brilliant book. I chose this book because I spend more time reading female literature than male literature, and I thought it's worth diving into the other gender's literature as well. However, I really feel that it is such a great pity that I just couldn't relate to some parts of related to sex, and unfortunately sex is an overly important topic in this book. I wish I could understand it, and I wish I could know and feel how the writer was feeling like I was reading other books. I wish my experience with this book was more complete, yet I couldn't. The sexual content just feel so alienated to me. And I was wondering maybe it will be better if I start reading some other men's book. I read some part of Yukio Mishima and I just couldn't believe that what he wrote was his life. He talked about how masturbation is a most important thing in his teenagehood, and helped him to know himselves. My teenagehood was nothing like that.
Reading these books made me feel really weird. I never felt sorry for being demi-ace or anything, and I know other great writers who features more ace content, like Eileen Chang. But still, I feel kinda excluded by the conversation. They are speaking a language that I will never understand and it seems like a very important thing of their life.
https://redd.it/1ha95d6
@asexualityonreddit
Casual Ace/Demi erasure.
https://redd.it/1ha8r64
@asexualityonreddit
And they say you need a GF
https://redd.it/1gzmjna
@asexualityonreddit
People are okay with asexuality until you put a label on it.
Hi, my first post here!
In my experience, people seem to be more accepting of me being asexual if I don't say that I'm asexual. For example, if the topic of how I feel about sex comes up, I'll usually say something along the lines of, "I just have very little interest in sex", "I've never really understood the appeal", if I want to make things humorous, "I have better things to do with my time than worry about sex", and my new way of saying it so people shut up quicker, "I'm waiting until marriage".
Most people that I say these things to seem to accept it. Sometimes they'll ask deeper questions, which I'm perfectly okay with, and sometimes people with knowledge about identities will correctly guess that I'm asexual!
But, for the most part, as soon as I sum everything up by saying that "I'm asexual", people get really weird about it. It’s usually either a "why does everything nowadays need a label?" reaction, a "oh there's something wrong with you" reaction, or something else.
Overall, I'm just curious: has anyone else noticed this or felt this way?
https://redd.it/1gzjkon
@asexualityonreddit
I will never understand
https://redd.it/1gzbvbn
@asexualityonreddit
This is as close as you can get to a character being ace without saying THIS CHARACTER IS ACE
https://redd.it/1gyytb4
@asexualityonreddit
Can you know you’re asexual if you’ve never had sex?
I’m 20f. IDK what sexual attraction is supposed to feel like but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it. I’ve always viewed sex as something I would unfortunately need to do one day. It deeply grosses me out— especially picturing myself in that sort of scenario. It’s repulsive to me. I’ve had romantic feelings for people, but NEVER could I look at someone and feel an urge to sleep with them. I’ve been wondering if I could be asexual. It would relief if I was, but I’m not sure. I’ve never had a sexual experience, so idk if I can even know. Maybe I’d try it and realize I was wrong.
Would it be weird if I started identifying as asexual despite never having “tried it”?
https://redd.it/1gz644f
@asexualityonreddit
The Aroaces (OC)
https://redd.it/1gz1ecs
@asexualityonreddit
YES IM A VIRGIN WHY DOES EVERYONE AROUND ME CARE SO FUCKING MUCH SHUT THE HELL UP I JUST WANT TO WATCH TV I DONT CARE ABOUT SEX FUCK OFFFFFFF
https://redd.it/1gz0koi
@asexualityonreddit
Outsider question - do you have drive for anything?
I'm sorry if the title sounds rude! I've been thinking about "destroying" my desire for sex (although it's looking like that's not possible) and have asked around about it. People told me that if I succeeded I would "lose my drive for anything" which seems like a load of baloney to me but got me curious. What motivates asexual people in their day to day?
https://redd.it/1gywi4b
@asexualityonreddit
None of us! None of us!
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1gyhoca
https://redd.it/1gys59m
@asexualityonreddit
Petition to put something on top of the ace flag /j
https://redd.it/1gyq72o
@asexualityonreddit