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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
Am I asexual?
I(21f) find men and women attractive. I can like a person. I feel sexual attraction but when we meet it drains out of me. I get kissed and I feel nothing.
When I have a sexual encounter I don't hate it but I don't like it either. I don't know anymore. I think I'm sexually attracted to the idea of the person. And when. It's time to do it, I don't want to be there. My mind starts to wonder. I feel myself get disgusted at times. Not at the person but rather at what is happening.
I read erotica and I get turned on. Granted i can't bring myself to masterbate. It doesn't feel right. Not necessarily bad. I can imagine doing it. But I can't do it.
https://redd.it/1g10j8z
@asexualityonreddit
Aromantic and Asexual Shaming
Someone's stupid ass called me a virgin loner. (plus im a minor soo) Uhm some people shamed me for not wanting to have children or sum shit like that is so stupid.
https://redd.it/1g0z58z
@asexualityonreddit
This has been my experience so far
https://redd.it/1g0xjlv
@asexualityonreddit
You hear that are more asexual women than men, but my personal experience is the opposite
Hey guys,
So basically the title, I have figured out that I am asexual over the last three years, and I have met quite a few asexual people in this time. But the thing is, literally only one of them is a woman. One. All the women I talked with about this subject basically said straight up no. Like that would‘t even have crossed their mind.
Talking gay, bisexual, etc. women, too. And my cirlce of friend is pretty much 50/50 male/female, and we all are really open with this kind of stuff.
Yet the general narrative seems to be that there are more female then male asexuals.
It‘s just wierd to me since I never met asexual girl before I figured out that I fall into this category, and I never met one after (except for one with whom I did not click at all), despite having been actively searching for a asexual heteroromantic girl with relationship potential for years now. Yet I find a ton of asexual men seemingly by accident.
I was just wondering, what is your personal experience with this? Please state your gender (or lack thereoff) if possible. How many asexual people do you meet in general, and how many of them are male, how many are female, and how many don‘t fall in those two categories?
Edit: I was gonna say internet friends that you have never met in real life don‘t count, but I guess If you really have a healthy friendship with that person, that should count.
I just don‘t want a bunch of people who live in certain bubble of the internet and considers the people on there their friends in general, t weigh much in with that. It is not what I‘m asking about.
https://redd.it/1g0oaxl
@asexualityonreddit
My mother was aphobic for the first time.
Basically, we had an argument, it went too far, she asked me "Do you really want to be alone all your life"
I told her that "I don't feel anything like that for people, I told you."
"Ah, but you have issues." What now. "You found a word that fits your issue and you use that."
So yeah. My mom just ended me.
And then she goes 'if you were asexual you would not be telling me that while crying"... No mom, I am crying because you just told me I'm broken.
https://redd.it/1g0oera
@asexualityonreddit
yea sex is cool and all but like
https://redd.it/1g0ktxh
@asexualityonreddit
I made garlic bread :>
https://redd.it/1g0a44y
@asexualityonreddit
i’m confused and need help
heyo! i’m 15-16 F and i’m confused, i’ve gone through a ton of identity crisises throughout the past 3-ish years, and due to traumatic pasts i believe im asexual but also hypersexual if that makes sense, maybe even aromatic. i don’t like the thought of anything intime past like cuddling and like waist grabbing and such, but the thought of anything sexual makes me wanna gag also i don’t feel the arousal but when i do it’s during the ovulation period.
but the thing is that due to the traumatic pasts i also think im hypersexual it kinda made me have those dieresis in the moment and even graphic depictions of me but i won’t ever act on it because i don’t really feel sexual desires towards anyone also the thought of intimacy scares the shit out of me.
i also want to get into why i think im aromatic, i was with my bf he was my type and i knew i liked him and he made me smile and such but around the 1 and a half to 2 months i just didn’t feel anything but i knew i loved him, i didn’t feel anything inside. im considering i’m aromantic but i also want a life long partner but i don’t know if i would “lose” feeling after a month or 2. and i heard that bisexuality could also clash with asexuality.
i want to say i know im still young and i know i have time to discover myself but im confused right now and i want to know about myself, i also know that there is a lot of sub-terms under asexuality and it’s one big spectrum.
https://redd.it/1g0c75c
@asexualityonreddit
just saw someone (most probably) unknowingly have an asexual pride flag phonecase
i was at the engagement party of my cousin and one of her friends that attended had an asexual pride coloured phonecase, knowing how my country is very queerphobic, and that the person that had the phonecase was very much religious looking (cousin is also religious), I'm 99% sureshe couldn't have gotten it for the purpose of ace pride, the seller and her probably thought it was just pretty colours 😭, but it was my first time ever seeing anything asexual related irl and i wanted to share that! (ALSO THIS MEANS OUR FLAG IS PRETTY YAYAYAYAY!)
https://redd.it/1fkzl5u
@asexualityonreddit
Figuring out if this person is ace?
There's a kid on my bus. I liked the way their style and wanted to befriend them, but just couldn't think of something to say. Just complimenting wouldn't go anywhere.
But now I see that they have a bead bracelet with ace colors.. but to be fair, my school's colors are the ace flag. Maybe they have school spirit?
I made a bracelet similar to what they have, the difference is that the white bead they have it transparent instead of opaque iirc. It was so I could potentially have another ace person see it and (maybe) approach me.
So I have a conversation layout.. that could work. I need opinions on it.
----
Excuse me, I like your bracelet. Did you make it yourself?
✅ Yes - "Wow! I made one too!"
❌ No - "Oh, that's cool, I have one just like it!"
⚪️ Then I’ll show them my bracelet.
Does it have any specific meaning to you? (Did you get/make one based on the school colors? || Is it based on a flag?)
✅ Ace Flag — "So you're ace? Omg I've met another person who also is!"
❌😭 School Colors — "Oh cool, are you in SGA? (Student Gov)"
School Colors Route
❌ No — "I understand.. I wanted to run, but I don't know enough people to vote for me."
✅ Yes — "Wow, that's such a creative way of showing school spirit.. the senior SGA hasn't thought of that." (A way of telling the year I'm in.)
⚫️ For the school colors route, I'll continue the conversation off the top of my head if they still seem interested.
Ace Flag Route - Are you in GSA?
✅ Yes — "When do you all meet? I haven't been able to see the club list yet."
❌ No — "Ah, I'm not either. I wanted to join so I could potentially meet other aces though."
"Also, I didn’t say this, but it's nice to meet you. I'm Name, what's your name?"
From that, I would want to try asking for an SNS (social) to connect, but not in the most direct way.
Does this sound like a good plan?
https://redd.it/1fkt757
@asexualityonreddit
I've been wearing ak rings for about ten years now and I love seeing them on the rise again lately.
https://redd.it/1fkr02w
@asexualityonreddit
Oh the irony
https://redd.it/1fkoo2k
@asexualityonreddit
One day, our dreams will become reality…
https://redd.it/1fkkv6e
@asexualityonreddit
the only kinda sex i want
https://redd.it/1fkfayd
@asexualityonreddit
Representing at work
https://redd.it/1fk7kby
@asexualityonreddit
My family thinks you can only know your sexuality if you've had sex with all genders
I recently had a conversation with my family about this. I was told there's no way (even though I'm 31) that I could be panromantic and asexual unless I've had sex with all possible genders.
I'm a virgin, for what it’s worth. I've never had sex and have only dated casually (because thus far all dates have expected sex). How do I explain that I can be pansexual without needing to force myself into sex?
https://redd.it/1g0zvmg
@asexualityonreddit
Ace week around the corner
To all my fellow aces don't forget starting the 20th of this month and ending on the 26th is asexual awareness week
https://redd.it/1g0z0hx
@asexualityonreddit
Reality check
Im a 38 year old aroace and i have been in relationships sometimes. But i cant seem to find a life partner or other person to help with life things. Someone to help when you are sick and so on. Now i am in a bit of crisis. I cannot sleep in my house sometimes, leading to sleep deprived me. I have been informing my parents so they wouldnt be surprised when i move houses. They really like my current house. Now after a long search i have found a house swap. And i am so sleep deprived i am sleeping at my moms house. Back to where i have been when i divorced. I am lucky my mom is still fit and willing to help me. Otherwise i would have to sleep in my car or something. I even couldnt do the swap financially without my mom. Good news is my relationship with my parents is better, because i ask for help now. I moved twice before, excluding them. .
Finding someone feels impossible. And if you find someone it takes years to build trust and relationship.
I dont know what i will do if i dont have parents anymore.
https://redd.it/1g0ewoi
@asexualityonreddit
Am I asexual?
Ive been researching and thinking for a while and I dont know how I feel about it all. First of all I never had sex Ive never had an "urge" to have sex with anyone specifically to me its always felt like if I get horny its nothing masturbating couldn't take care of. If Im honest masturbating feels more like a chore that I try to make better with porn which does barely anything to add to it I perfer reading erotica or audio porn or something where they are dressed in clothing that shows off their body instead of regular porn? The best way I can explain adding porn to the mix is when you do laundry and play some music or turn on your TV while doing it so its not as boring? I honestly wish I could get rid of my libido forever. Ive always thought people have sex for the physical sensation and nothing more I only recently learned that you are suppose to feel some sort of deep emotions which feels like that would be impossible for me. I keep thinking of a scenario in my head if a women I like was to starting showing signs of wanting sex and start to undress would I feel nervous and get butterflies? Most likely but I feel like that would be because its my first time and Im anxious/confused. Would I get horny and want to have sex? Also yes most likely I feel like it would likely feel good physically but emotionally it wouldn't feel like anything it would just be a better version of masturbation to me. I do have sexual fantasies but even I try really hard I cant seem to imagine the person Im with in the fantasy to be a person I like the apperance of, it always just goes back to a faceless individual. Its also hard to imagine them naked its always in a outfit that I like. So the question is, is this asexuality? Does me knowing that if a person wants to have sex with me Id likely get horny and say yes is that sexual attraction? Is that how most people see sex or is there something deeper Im suppose to be feeling which I dont understand? I am confused about it all because Ive never had sex and just need to try it? Or do I already know how Id feel?
https://redd.it/1g0fsgq
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit is Like Twitter
Yall, I don’t use X but I’m new on Reddit.. new asf. And I really like to find communities for my interests like everyone does, right? 😭🤌🏾 tell me WHY.. I was looking for piercing content.. and the shit said “Piercingporn” and I was thinking “Oh! Must be like ‘food porn’ 🤡 click”
YALL 👀👄👀😭😭😭😭😭😫💀 THERE WAS NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT PIERCINGS AT TF ALL. I would laugh but my fucking heart is still RACING like my life was threatened. I YELPED SO LOUD. I’m still so shocked omfg like, I’m too old for this, WHY DID I THINK IT WAS ABOUT PIERCINGS?!? WHY DID I THINK IT WAS AN INNOCENT CLEVER NAME THAT WAS NOTHING ABOUT PORN?! It didn’t even have piercings of genitals on there it was JUST PORN. I want to rip off my skin rn. What the helllllll.. 😩🫣yall.. I’m laughing cause I’m nervous as FUCK and literally thrown back but I’m seriously in a fight or flight mode. 😭😭😭😭 that was SO FUCKING DUMB of me, I needed to comfort stim and ALL after that.
https://redd.it/1g0o0ky
@asexualityonreddit
Was just asked if sex with my (also ace) late wife was like fucking a teddy bear
Or a fleshlight.
Just… ugh. Why would you say that to anyone at all, let alone a widower? Oh right, aphobia, hooray.
You can find the comment thread that led to it in my profile.
Leaving aside the thoughtless cruel language, I’m just so fed up of having to justify that my wife and I could both be ace and still have an active (albeit less frequent than others’) sex life and two children together.
We liked the emotional intimacy and both of us wanted kids. But neither of ever looked at another human being and said “I want to tap that”.
Don’t tell me that because I liked sleeping with my soulmate that I must have experienced sexual attraction and therefore must be gray-spec. I know what I am.
Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent to people who understand. The only ace I know IRL is a Catholic priest (that’s not a joke, he identifies as such and has told me so), and I’m not about to use the word “fleshlight” in his earshot.
https://redd.it/1g0ah7u
@asexualityonreddit
Asexuality in therapy?
has anyone ever talked to their therapist about being asexual?
I’m in a relationship and my partner is not asexual but I am and it brings up a lot of feelings and anxiety for me so I want to talk about it.
We’ve never talked about sex at all and it just makes me nervous.
I still have a hard time accepting my asexuality and am always super nervous to bring it up to other people.
This woman knows so much about me this feels like a big thing she should know about but I’m not sure she would understand or know how to react.
https://redd.it/1g0chl4
@asexualityonreddit
God
https://redd.it/1g0bclg
@asexualityonreddit
Hi yes my skin has cleared and life expectancy increased from everyone's beautiful and amazing pride posts 😍🥰🥺🥺🥺 that's it, that's the post. A happy and safe pride, all!!! 🖤
https://redd.it/1fkys5e
@asexualityonreddit
Family making borderline aphobic comments about (possibly) ace cousin.
My cousin is in her mid-20s but is currently in her first serious relationship… and the family seem to really be pressuring her to do… it… even though she clearly seems uncomfortable with the idea….
They seem concerned and puzzled as to why the two of them haven’t done it yet- they keep asking her questions like “what’s putting you off”? And I just think, she doesn’t owe anyone sex, just because she’s in a relationship with them.
You can have a perfectly healthy romantic relationship with someone without sex… they keep trying to convince her that this guy’s the wrong guy for him because they haven’t done it yet… what I want to know is why do any of them care? She’s already somebody who gets fairly anxious anyway and now her family are trying to pressure her to do it… they think she’s being naive and immature, but I don’t think so- I genuinely think she’s just ace. I don’t know her partner so I can’t say for sure if he is- if he isn’t and she is, or if he’s trying to pressure her into anything, then it’s not a healthy relationship but so far, from when I’ve heard her talk about her partner, it seems to work fine… she worries about how he’ll think of her sometimes but that’s just her being anxious- I don’t think that’s anything to do with her reluctance to do it. The one thing my family have advised her which is somewhat decent is that if things don’t work, she can always break it off… though this seems to be her first love so she seems reluctant.
https://redd.it/1fkr6lz
@asexualityonreddit
Doing an LGBTQ+ inclusivity training for work and the definition for "asexual" is wrong!!!
As part of annual professional development, my job is having everyone go through an inclusivity training that is mostly focused on transgender and making an inclusive workplace for people who may not agree with the gender they were assigned at birth. The training is basically a pre-recorded video and then after it's done, a short quiz. Well at one part early on in the video, they give definitions of all the letters in the LGBTQIA+ acronym and they say asexual is "people who have no desire for sex". Grr, this is so frustrating! (being autistic with a strong sense of justice is hard when you're also part of a lesser-known sexuality! xD) I am so tempted to shoot a message to the person who made the training video (they gave us his email so if there were technical problems playing the video or whatever we could ask him for help) and be like "Please fix the definition of asexuality because it's people who feel little to no sexual attraction but we can still have desire for sex just fine!" WIBTA if I did this?
https://redd.it/1fkqczx
@asexualityonreddit
I’m in my 40s, married with 3 kids and just had an asexuality light bulb moment. I’m so confused.
Ok, so I (40s F), am having some sort of mid-life crisis/awakening. Not really sure exactly where my head is at. I was listening to a Reddit story recently, as I like to on my way to work, and a particular story regarding asexuality just set off a bit of a light bulb moment for me. I’m completely thrown.
Let me start at the beginning. I’m in my 40s, married 12 years, have 3 kids, and have been with my husband, who adores me, since my early 20s. Life has been pretty great, very vanilla, but I’ve always been ok with that.
My husband, to me, has a pretty high sex drive. Is horny often. Nothing crazy, but he really enjoys sex with me. I like that he still finds me attractive. Problem is, he is always asking me why I never initiate sex, why I always say no first, why he has to beg. I’ve expressed that I can’t understand why/how he is horny all the time, and that I’m just not, but I don’t think either of us really understands each other. I figure I just have a low labido. Most women my age (that I know) honestly don’t like sex, so I figured it’s just normal, and haven’t really thought too much more about it. Just do the wifey duty, have sex with your husband, and then the rest is all good… right?
So, as I mentioned, I listened to this story about asexuality and had a bit of a light bulb moment. I’ve never really wanted sex, never had an orgasm during sex, never felt the rush of desire, and when I ask myself what does it feel like to have sexual attraction, I can’t answer that question. I just don’t know what it feels like.
I have been turned on to the point of feeling horny twice that I can remember. Once in college, and once with my husband. Both were amazing, and fun, and I’d love to experience that feeling more, but I just don’t know how. I don’t find people sexy, I don’t get turned on or horny. I just don’t know how.
Having said all of that, I’ve had plenty of sex. From my research since my light bulb moment, I’m certainly not sex averse. I have enjoyed sex plenty of time, but generally it is because I’ve enjoyed seeing someone get turned on by me, I’ve enjoyed bringing pleasure to someone I care about, or I enjoy the emotional connection. Never because I’m horny and want to get off. I’ve had orgasms, but never through sex, only through stimulation before sex. I think back to my teenage years, and I can’t remember ever having sex for me, because I desired it, or because I found someone sexually irresistible.
Unfortunately, these days sex is a bit more of a chore. Something I need to do every week or two to keep my husband happy. After 3 breastfed kids, I feel repulsed every time he goes near my nipples, however he loves them so much 😢. Quickies make me feel like I’m being used, just a means to an end. I just can’t see the point, although I do love that it is over quickly. Sometimes we have sex that I enjoy, but not frequently enough to keep my husband happy. I need a bit more, some sort of emotional connection.
What do I do? How do I tell my husband about this new found knowledge? He is not very aware / accepting of peoples differences. He would just see this as a rejection or an excuse so I don’t have to have sex with him.
What do you think? Am I asexual? Demisexual? Should I tell my husband? How should I tell him? I’ve pretended this long, maybe I can just keep pretending for another 20 years… I often think I’m not trying hard enough to enjoy sex. Maybe I don’t love my husband enough, maybe I should try being with women, but none of that really feels right.
If anyone has been through this, or has advice, I would love to hear. TIA.
https://redd.it/1fkloys
@asexualityonreddit
Is there a word like lust but for romance?
Is there a specific word, verb or adjective, you can feel where it’s an overwhelming urge to hug, kiss or spend time with someone in a romantic way? People say they feel lustful when it’s an overwhelming urge to have sex with another, a strong desire to copulate with a specific person, but what’s the word for the romantic equivalent?
Like I lowkey feel lust towards my significant other in the sense that I want to hug them, kiss them and lull them to sleep. I want to hear him talk about something he loves, want to feed him or cook his favourite foods and I yearn to touch him and cuddle. I have this overwhelming desire to just be connected, sharing environment, skin and thoughts. I feel like lust has intensity of being an unbridled form of sexual attraction, but what’s the equivalent for the unbridled form of romantic attraction?
https://redd.it/1fkee4g
@asexualityonreddit
What am i?
I can have a crush on someone and like likeing someone but i hate the idea of dateing, kissing and intimacy what do i do i cant figure myself out? Any advice?
https://redd.it/1fkftb7
@asexualityonreddit
These are my expectations in a relationship
https://redd.it/1fkdod2
@asexualityonreddit