Advice on dating
āCan two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?ā Am 3:3 NLT
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There is no definitive test that can predict how a date will ultimately work out, but here are five questions you should always ask yourself: (1) Whatās my first impression of this person? For example, who do they hang out with? What kind of events do they enjoy? Do they lie? Steal? Swear? Do drugs? This kind of information can save you untold heartache down the road. And, not to judge a book by its cover, until you really get to know somebody, what else can you go by? (2) How well do I know them? Isnāt it wiser to date someone you have known for a while instead of a stranger? (3) Are they gracious toward others? Nothing is worse than a man who brags about his previous conquests, or a woman who constantly criticizes her ex. Would you trust that kind of person with your reputation and your heart? (4) Do we share the same values? The Bible says, āCan two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?ā Opposites may attract, but thatās not a good rule when it comes to values. You need to know that your date is a committed Christian who lives by his or her convictions. What kind of standards do they have about things like money, morals, and movies? (5) Can I trust them to keep their word? In previous relationships did they flirt, or cheat, or remain loyal? Count on it, a promise breaker will inevitably become a heartbreaker. If youāre dating, here is some sound advice: āSeek [Godās] will in all you do, and he will show you which path to takeā (Pr 3:6 NLT).
Handling change at work
āTo everything there is a season.ā Ecc 3:1 NKJV
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When change happens in the workplace, we often feel threatened. We get used to the personalities of our co-workers and bosses, and we want them to remain in place, stay the same, and require nothing more from us than what we have given in the past. Out of our desire for stability, security, and predictability, we fail to prepare for instability, uncertainty, and surprises. How ironic! If we were willing to adjust our expectations and be more realistic, we wouldnāt be so traumatized when change comes. Things can change overnight. It may be the loss of a parent, or a job, or your health. Change is the only constant in life. And it has the potential to move you on to better things or flatten you like a steamroller. The choice is yours. āTo everything there is a season.ā The truth is, God is your only secure anchor in life, so if youāre wise, you will build a strong relationship with Him. Ultimately, He will never allow you to depend on anything but Him. Here is Elijahās story: āThe ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning,ā¦and he drank from the brook. And it happened after a while that the brook dried up, because there had been no rain in the landā (1Ki 17:6-7 NKJV). Elijah may have panicked, but God didnāt. āThe word of the Lord came to him, saying, āArise, go to Zarephathā¦and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for youāā (vv. 8-9 NKJV). Notice what God used to provide for Elijah: ravens, a brook, and a penniless widow. So enjoy your job, excel in it, but depend only on God!
In training for better things
āGod causes everything to work together.ā Ro 8:28 NLT
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When Joseph was thrown in prison, it was hard for him to see how this road would lead to the fulfillment of his dream, but it did. Thatās because God had a plan for his life. And He has one for yours too! Your current job may just be preparation for the job God really has in mind for you. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but, if you stay faithful, there will come a time when you look back and realize how God directed your steps (See Ps 37:23). Refuse to embrace any concept of victimhood that would steal your contentment. Your job, in spite of its difficulties, would have been the dream of some of your forefathers. Didnāt you pray for this job youāre now complaining about? As difficult as this may be to accept, youāre where you are for a reasonāand for a season. So study, do the coursework, take the tests, graduate, and move on to what God has for you next. There are certain qualities you need to take with you from your present position into your next one. Things like skill building and character development. You may need to learn computer and social media skillsāplus patience and gratitude. You may need to learn how to manage an officeāplus how to manage your moods. When youāre led by God, no experience is ever wasted because āGod causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for themā (Ro 8:28 NLT). God knows what He is doing, so trust Him; He uses every experience to bring about His will and fulfill our joy.
Blending two families
āLive in peace.ā 2Co 13:11 NKJV
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The Brady Bunch was a popular television show where a mom and dad with six kids created one big happy family without conflict or rivalries. The problem is it seldom happens that way. So, if youāre planning to remarry, here are three challenges you will need Godās help with: (1) Itās common for kids to see a new stepparent as a usurper. Their loyalty to the memory of their departed mother or father can be intense. For them to welcome a newcomer feels like an act of betrayal. This can place the stepparent in a real bind. (2) Itās common for one child to move into the power vacuum left by the departing parent and see themselves as a surrogate spouse. The status and power that come with this supportive role is very strong, and a youngster can be unwilling to give it up. (3) Each of us is irrationally committed to our own flesh and blood while being merely acquainted with others. So when conflict arises in the family, parents are almost always partial to those they brought into the world. And when children sense this tension between parents, some of them will try to exploit it to their advantage. Thatās why, statistically, second and third marriages have a higher failure rate than first ones. But there is good news: āWith God all things are possibleā (Mt 19:26). What should you do? Seek professional counseling as early as possible. Yes, it costs, but a divorce will cost you even more. And include God; He can give you the patience, wisdom, and love you need. āLive in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with youā (2Co 13:11 NKJV).
Handling temptation Christās way (1)
āFor forty days he was tempted by the devil.ā Lk 4:2 NIV
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Here are some practical pointers from Jesus for handling temptation: (1) Your temptations are like the ones He faced. āJesus understands every weakness of ours, because he was tempted in every way that we areā (Heb 4:15 CEV). You say, āBut you donāt understand how bad my temptations are.ā No, but Jesus does. The fact that āHe was tempted in every wayā means He has been there, felt the urge, and understands your vulnerability firsthand. You can turn to Him when temptation hits, confident He has walked the same path and He will help you. (2) Temptation often comes after spiritual victory. Jesus had just been baptized, the Holy Spirit descended on Him, and God declared His pleasure in His Sonāthen Satan struck full force (See Mt 3:16-17; 4:1-11). High spiritual moments can leave you with your guard down, susceptible to attack. Paul says, āLet him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fallā (1Co 10:12 NKJV). People often crash and burn after big accomplishments. Ministers, for example, can be prone to temptation after delivering a great sermon. (3) Temptation comes when youāre exhausted. Forty days without eating had left Jesus physically depleted. When your resources are drained, youāre a target for attack. Lack of sleep, unhealthy diet, stretching yourself too thin, no exercise, anxiety, and discouragement can open the door to temptation. When you feel down, your focus blurs, your awareness is dulled, your spiritual edge diminishes, and youāre not on guard against the Enemyās approaches and schemes. The Bible says, āStay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard upā (1Pe 5:8 MSG).
Beware of an elitist attitude (2)
āIt was not I but God who was working through me by his grace.ā 1Co 15:10 NLT
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Anytime you think less of someone because theyāre not a member of your race, denomination, gender, or social group, youāre displaying an elitist attitude. Elitism is rooted in pride, and āGod opposes the proud but favors the humbleā (Jas 4:6 NLT). Here are two Bible examples of the elitist āthey are not one of usā attitude: (1) When God poured out His Spirit upon the seventy elders who led Israel, they all prophesied. Two of them were not present when it happened. Later, Joshua saw them prophesying and reported it to Moses. āāMy lord, forbid them!ā Then Moses said to him, āAre you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lordās people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them!āā (Nu 11:28-29 NKJV). Joshua believed that only a select group were qualified. (2) āJohn said to Jesus, āTeacher, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he wasnāt in our group.ā āDonāt stop him!ā Jesus said. āNo one who performs a miracle in my name will soon be able to speak evil of me. Anyone who is not against us is for usāā (Mk 9:38-40 NLT). If you exclude others or feel superior to them in any aspect of life, read these words from Paul: āBut whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on meāand not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace.ā
Donāt be self-righteous
āDo not think of yourself more highly than you should.ā Ro 12:3 GNT
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āāTwo men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: āI thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone elseā¦I donāt cheatā¦sinā¦commit adultery. Iām certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.ā But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, āO God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.ā I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exaltedāā (Lk 18:10-14 NLT). The lesson in this story is, God has more tolerance for an honest sinner than a self-righteous Christian. When the Pharisee was congratulating himself for the sins he didnāt commitācheating, adultery, etc.āhe was guilty of the sin of spiritual pride. Question: What good behavior is a source of pride to you? Do you measure others by your performance and mark their scorecard accordingly? The only performance that makes any of us acceptable to God is based on Christās performance on the cross. āGod made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christā (2Co 5:21 NLT). The righteousness that saves us is imputedānot earned. So donāt be self-righteous!
Meditateāpercolate (5)
āThe statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart.ā Ps 19:8 NKJV
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āThe law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyesā¦More to be desired are they than goldā¦sweeter also than honeyā¦by them Your servant is warned, and in keeping them there is great reward. Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemerā (vv. 7-8, 10-14 NKJV). This prayer shows that the psalmist regarded meditation as an utter necessity to his spiritual life. And if that was true for him in his day, how much more vital is it for you today! You need to bathe your mind each day in the waters of Godās Word so that your words and your thoughts are pleasing in His sight. Use your timeāthe start of the day, at coffee break, during your lunchtime, riding home from work, before falling asleep at nightāto reflect upon the truth of Godās Word. The greatest changes in your life will come through the process of meditating on the Scripturesājust letting the Word of God filter and percolate through your mind and into your life. First-class Bible reading calls not for snapshots but for timed exposures.
Meditateāpercolate (3)
āYou shall meditate on it day and night.ā Jos 1:8 NAS
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Bible meditation has fallen out of favor. Why? Because we live in an instantaneous society, and a preoccupied society. We have so much stuff coming at us from TV, cell phones, email, texts, snail mail, satellite links, cable news feeds, and podcasts that we hardly have a moment to reactāmuch less reflect. Get real! You canāt ādownloadā spiritual maturity by hitting a few keys on a computer. Thatās why the Scriptures speak so often about meditation. God, the author of the Bible, gave Joshua the formula for succeeding in your career and prospering in whatever you put your hand to: āThis Book of the law shall not depart from your mouth [speak the Scriptures every chance you get], but you shall meditate on it [when?] day and night, so that you may be careful to do [not just know, but do!] according to all [you canāt pick and choose] that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have successā (v. 8 NAS). Note the words āyou will make.ā To succeed in life, you must do something. Do what? Meditate in Godās Word! How often? āDay and night.ā So what portion of Scripture were you thinking about this morning as you started your day? Or while driving to and from work? For that matter, when was the last time you consciously reflected on any Bible truth or principle? If you canāt remember, start making some changes right away. Paul told Timothy: āMeditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to allā (1Ti 4:15 NKJV). And thatās still the rule!
Meditateāpercolate (1)
āLet the word of Christ dwell in you richly.ā Col 3:16 NKJV
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Meditating in Scripture is one of the great keys to spiritual growth. In Psalm 1, David writes, āIn His law he meditates day and nightā (Ps 1:2 NKJV). But the word āmeditationā is not one that a text-and-Twitter generation relates to very well. We imagine sober-faced monks wearing hair shirts and chanting on bended knees as the sun comes up every morning. As a result, we want to run in the opposite direction. We admire such people, think God has to call us to such a thing, and conclude that He certainly hasnāt called us to do it. Or we think meditation is a discipline that requires hours of uninterrupted time, and time is the one thing we donāt have any more of. And the result? We live busy but spiritually barren lives. Some of us actually think meditation is a fine thing, but we believe that there are too many other areas of spiritual growth and character development we need to work on first. Whatās the problem? We donāt understand what it means to meditate, or the rich benefits it will give us. A spoon of instant coffee is okay if you just want the basic taste of coffee. But if you want moreāif you want to enjoy the flavors of the coffee in all their richnessāyou have to let it percolate. So, we could paraphrase the Scripture this way: āIn His law he percolates day and night.ā That is what Paul meant here: āLet the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom.ā Today, enjoy the aroma, taste the flavor, and experience the strength of percolating on Godās Word.
Use your gift
āGod has given each of you a gift.ā 1Pe 4:10 NLT
The Bible says: āGod has given each of you a gift from his great varietyā¦Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to Godā (vv. 10-11 NLT). You may not be fortunate enough to work at a job that utilizes your gifts, but you should at least be moving in that direction. Paul worked as a tentmaker to finance his calling as a preacher. So if you know youāre a creative person with aptitude for design and visual arts, and youāre currently exasperated by your accounting job, it may be time to reconsider your career goals. If you like to solve problems and enjoy information technology, but youāre currently working as a pastry chef, itās time to step back and reassess. You may not be able to make a living using your foremost gifts right away, and have to work in an unrelated field for awhile. Thatās okay, but your sights must stay set on following Godās calling. Moses spent two-thirds of his life getting ready for his real assignment leading the children of Israel into the promised land. God never wastes experience. Often the wisdom you glean from a job you donāt want equips you to succeed in the one you do; the one God has chosen for you. So keep growing and keep believing God. Then, when He opens the door, you will be ready to walk through it.
Donāt even THINK about quitting!
āWe donāt give up and quit.ā 2Co 4:8 TLB
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Here are some reasons why we quit: (1) We fear failure. Past hurts and mistakes haunt us, and we think itās better not to try again than risk failing. Donāt spend your life digging up bones! We all have things in our past we would rather forget. Put them behind you. Paul writes, āForgetting those things which are behindā¦[reach] forward to those things which are aheadā (Php 3:13 NKJV). (2) We worry what people will say. āFear of human opinion disablesā (Pr 29:25 MSG). How you respond to criticism is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. There will always be people who wonāt like or understand you. Get over it! (3) We listen to the wrong voices. Satan is the father of lies, and he will do everything he can to discourage you. Paul says, āDemolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of Godā¦take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christā (2Co 10:5 NIV). When a thought comes, examine it. If itās from God, receive it; if itās from Satan, ādemolishā it. (4) We lose focus. As believers, weāre to walk by faith, not by sight (See 2Co 5:7). That means making every decision based on what God says and not what you see with your natural eyes. (5) We lose touch with other believers. When the apostles got out of jail, they went back to ātheir own companyā (Ac 4:23). To stay strong, you need fellowship with other Christians. Too many people quit on the verge of success; donāt be one of them. There is only one degree of difference between hot water and steamāso keep going, and donāt even think of quitting!
Getting beyond the guesswork (2)
āThe Spiritā¦will guide youā¦He will tell you things.ā Jn 16:13 NKJV
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Always do these two things: (1) Recognize Godās Word as the final authority for deciding Godās will (See Isa 8:20). The Bible speaks clearly on lifeās important issues. Every other source of guidance must agree with it. And you donāt need a theological degree; just let God speak to you through His Word before seeking anybody elseās opinion. For example, to tell a lie is unacceptable because God insists, āYou shall notā¦lieā (Lev 19:11 NKJV). Likewise, having an extramarital affair is wrong because the Bible clearly says, āYou shall not commit adulteryā (Ex 20:14 NKJV). End of discussion. No other opinion is needed when Godās Word is clear. But a word of caution: The Bible is a book of principles, not a multiple-choice do-it-yourself manual. Picking isolated Scriptures leads to confusion, not clarity. For instance, āall things are yoursā (1Co 3:21 NKJV) isnāt permission to choose whatever you want! Principles are established as Scripture is supported by Scripture. But what if you search the Bible without finding principles that settle your issue? Consider the following step. (2) Recognize the inner impressions of the Holy Spirit. How can you know your impressions are from the Holy Spirit? By knowing you have fully submitted your will in the matter to God. Your āimpressionsā must not contradict other biblical principles. Here is the Holy Spiritās assignment: āWhen he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into allĀ truthā¦he will shew you things to comeā (Jn 16:13). Donāt be in a hurry. If itās from Godās Spirit, it will become stronger and clearer with time and prayer. If not, it will dissipate. So wait prayerfully!
Start fresh every day!
āA quick-tempered person does foolish things.ā Pr 14:17 NIV
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You overslept, the car wouldnāt start, you were late for work, your computer crashed! These things can make you angry, but only if you let them. Solomon said, āA quick-tempered person does foolish things,ā so if you fly into a rage, expect a rough landing! The Bible says, āPatience is better than strength. Controlling your temper is better than capturing a cityā (Pr 16:32 NCV). Anger always comes back to bite you and ends up doing more damage than the thing that triggered it. David said, āEvery morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altarā (See Ps 5:3). Start by offering your day to God, then you will be less likely to react in anger when things go wrong. One pastor writes: āOur time here is short. What a shame to let something that happenedātwenty years or twenty minutes agoāruin your day. Iāve made up my mind to enjoy every single one. I may make mistakes; things may not go my way. I may be disappointed, but Iām going to live my life happy. Iām not going to let what does or doesnāt happen steal my joy. Every morning I say, āFather, this is going to be a great day. I thank you that I have discipline, self-control; that I make good decisions. I may not have done what I could have yesterday, but that day is gone. Iām going to do better today.āā Ever wonder why a carās windshield is big and its rearview mirror small? Because whatās behind isnāt nearly as important as whatās ahead. So keep looking ahead, and no matter what happens today, donāt lose your peace.
What do you āseeā? (1)
āLook upā¦and count the starsā¦Thatās how many descendants you will have!ā Ge 15:5 NLT
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Vision is the God-given ability to see the invisible. Without it, āpeopleā¦stumble all over themselvesā (Pr 29:18 MSG). When God told Abraham he would be the father of many nations, he and Sarah were old and childless. Naturally speaking, it looked impossible. So God ātook Abram outside and saidā¦āLook upā¦and count the starsā¦Thatās how many descendants you will have!āā It wasnāt enough to hear what God said: Abraham needed to see it in his mindās eye. And although the promise wasnāt fulfilled for twenty years, every night when Abraham looked up at the heavens, the stars were a constant reminder of Godās faithfulness. Woodrow Wilson said, āNo man that does not see visions will ever realize any high hope or undertake any high enterprise.ā To give birth to something, you must first conceive it by seeing it through the eyes of faith and burning the image on the canvas of your mind. Jesus said, āIf your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darknessā (Mt 6:22-23 NAS). Legend has it, when Michelangelo looked at a chunk of marble the owner told him was worthless, Michelangelo said, āItās priceless to me. There is an angel locked inside, and I must set it free.ā What you āseeā will change the direction of your life. Like a thermostat, it dictates how high you rise or how low you fall. And the good news is, no matter how dark things look on the outside, today God can give you a fresh vision and a new future.
Connecting begins with caring
āMay the Lord make your love increase and overflow.ā 1Th 3:12 NIV
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One of Americaās most successful telephone companies created a TV commercial using the slogan, āCan you hear me now?ā It shows a man talking on the phone, but the person on the other end canāt hear him. So, he repeatedly asks, āCan you hear me now?ā The ad was designed to convey the message that this particular phone company delivers a high-quality signal and doesnāt drop calls. When your phone drops a call, you know it. And whatās your immediate reaction? Annoyance? Frustration? Anger? In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Dr. John Maxwell writes: āWhen I interact with peopleā¦I know Iāve connected when I sense extra effortāpeople go the extra mile; unsolicited appreciationāthey say positive things; unguarded opennessāthey demonstrate trust; increased communicationāthey express themselves more readily; enjoyable experiencesāthey feel good about what theyāre doing; emotional bondednessāthey display a connection on an emotional level; positive energyātheir emotional ābatteriesā are charged by being togetherā¦unconditional loveāthey are accepting without reservation. Anytime I interact with people and I see evidence of these signals, I know Iām connecting. Iāve learned what it takes to connectā¦andā¦to gauge when Iām succeeding. How are you doing when it comes to connecting? When you interact one-on-one with someone important in your life, do you receive these signals?ā¦Even if connecting with others isnāt something youāre good at today, you can learn how to do it and become better tomorrow.ā But first, you must genuinely care about the person you are trying to connect with. Thatās why Paul writes, āMay the Lord make your love increase and overflow.ā
Choose the right thoughts
āSet your minds on things above, not on earthly things.ā Col 3:2 NIV
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Marcus Aurelius said, āOur life is what our thoughts make it.ā Unfortunately, you canāt stop thinking wrong thoughts just by trying harder. But you can do this: You can āset your mind.ā The most basic control you have when it comes to your mind is your ability to choose what you pay attention to. At any given moment, itās within your capacity to turn your thoughts in one direction or another. That helps explain why two people in the exact same set of circumstances can have completely different perspectives and experiences. The following excerpts from a dogās diary and a catās diary may make you smile. But hopefully they will also make you stop and think about the difference your attitude can make. Dogās Diary: 8:00 a.m. Ate dog food. My favorite thing! 9:00 a.m. Went for a car ride. My favorite thing! 9:40 a.m. Walked in the park. My favorite thing! 10:30 a.m. Got rubbed and petted. My favorite thing! 12:00 p.m. Ate lunch. My favorite thing! 1:00 p.m. Played in the grass. My favorite thing! 3:00 p.m. Wagged my tail. My favorite thing! 5:00 p.m. Ate a treat. My favorite thing! 7:00 p.m. Played ball. My favorite thing! 8:00 p.m. Watched TV with my people. My favorite thing! 11:00 p.m. Slept on the bed. My favorite thing! Now letās look at the cat. Catās Diary: Day 983 of my imprisonment. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. The one thing that helps me carry on is my dream of escape. Two crittersā¦similar situationsā¦totally different experiences. What made the difference? One chose the right thoughts and the other didnāt.
Forming healthy relationships
āHe heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.ā Ps 147:3 NIV
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If youāre recovering from a bad relationship, itās a mistake to rush into another one. Unhealthy people make unhealthy choices. Some wounds take longer to heal than others, but you can count on this promise: āHe heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.ā All God asks is that you give Him a chance. Start by taking time to search His Word to find out how He feels about you. His opinion is the only reliable foundation on which to build your self-worth. If a perfect God with full knowledge of your struggles and shortcomings can love you, the message isālighten up on yourself! You can only love, or be loved again, with the same wholeness with which you love yourself. Next time make sure your choices arenāt predicated on need or the fear of being alone. And be careful: When you donāt value yourself, you attract people who wonāt value you either; people who will use you for their own ends. You deserve better, so hold out for it. You train others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. And as you become spiritually and emotionally whole, you will start seeing how unhealthy some of your former choices have been. If some people walk away, so be it. Sometimes you have to give up less in order to have more. The God who said, āIt is not good for man to be aloneā has new relationships in mind for you. But He is waiting until your values and self-perception line up with His. So take it step by step, one day at a time. And remember to rejoiceāyour best days are still ahead!
Handling temptation Christās way (2)
āWhen the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.ā Lk 4:13 NIV
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Observe this: (1) Temptation comes when youāre alone without support. Just as a wolf looks for the sheep that wanders from the safety of the fold, when you neglect Christian fellowship and cut yourself off from other believers, the Enemy rejoices. You say, āBut I have the Lord with me always.ā Yes, but here is how the Bible teaches us to overcome temptation: āA person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily brokenā (Ecc 4:12 NLT). We are born, and born again, to walk this journey with others. Paul writes, āThe body is not made up of one part but of manyā¦The eye cannot say to the hand, āI donāt need you!ā And the head cannot say to the feet, āI donāt need you!āā (1Co 12:14, 21 NIV). Walking in step with other believers increases your protection against Satan. (2) Your greatest weapon in the hour of temptation is knowing Godās Word. Jesus repelled Satanās attacks by quoting it. Satan is rendered powerless when he is confronted by a believer who declares, āIt is written!ā You must decide to take a stand, but itās your stance on Godās Word that makes the Enemy retreat. When Satan approached, Jesus didnāt go looking for a Bible; He quoted the Word He knew by heart. Thatās your key to victory. John says, āI have written to you who are young in the faith because you are strong. Godās word lives in your hearts, and you have won your battle with the evil oneā (1Jn 2:14 NLT).
Beware of an elitist attitude (3)
āHumble yourselvesā¦andā¦he will lift you up in honor.ā 1Pe 5:6 NLT
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Have you ever looked down on someone because they didnāt share or possess the advantages that you enjoy in life? Do you feel superior to others in any aspect of your life? Do you believe that being part of a particular denomination puts you in a special class? Maybe your well-toned physique makes you feel superior to the overweight multitudes. And what if you are renowned in your community? Do you think you should always be escorted to front-row seats at public meetings? If so, itās time to submit your attitude to the Holy Spirit. But when it comes to elitism, there is another side to the coin. Itās possible to label a person or a group as elitist merely because they enjoy a particular advantage that you find intimidating and alienating due to your own self-doubt, or to try to improve your image in othersā eyes. Politicians do this. A candidate may accuse his opponent of elitism simply because of access to family wealth, or a diploma from a prominent university, or a high profile, or influential friends. As a result, that opponent accuses the other of reaching out to blue-collar workers and being disingenuous about how regular and down to earth they are. In the final analysis, itās not what you do but what you believe that establishes whether you have an elitist attitude. The truth is, itās easy to spot pride in others and hard to see it in yourself. Thatās why Peter writes, āHumble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.ā
Beware of having an elitist attitude (1)
āDonāt think you are better than you really are.ā Ro 12:3 NLT
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Paul writes: āDonāt think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christās body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things wellā (vv. 3-6 NLT). Paul is teaching us this important principle: āDonāt have an elitist attitude!ā If you are an elitist, you must deal with the truth that every advantage or favor you enjoy is a gift from God (See 1Co 4:7). Whatever God has given you or allowed you to accomplish must never be used for personal exultation. Even if you think you achieved each of them on your own, read these words and take them to heart: āDonāt be selfish; donāt try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Donāt look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human beingā¦he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminalās death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other namesā (Php 2:3-9 NLT).
Are you critical of others?
āWe have done foolishlyā¦we have sinned.ā Nu 12:11 NKJV
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If you think criticizing others is just exercising your right to free speech and itās no big deal, stop and consider these four things: (1) God saw it as a sin when Aaron and Miriam criticized Moses for marrying an Ethiopian woman. He smote Miriam with leprosy, and Aaron was quick to repent: āWe have done foolishlyā¦we have sinned.ā Yes, God healed Miriam, but not before she had been publicly embarrassed. (2) A critical attitude will hurt you relationally. āThen the Lord said to Mosesā¦āLet her be shut out of the camp seven days, and afterward she may be received againāā (v.14 NKJV). Leprosy was contagious, and those who had it were isolated from others. There is an important lesson here. When you become known for a critical attitude, people will distance themselves from you and avoid you. Itās a trust issue; they know if you will talk to them about others, you will talk to others about them. (3) A critical attitude hinders everybodyās progress. āSo Miriam was shut out of the camp seven days, and the people did not journey till Miriam was brought in againā (v.15 NKJV). Have you ever been part of an organization where one fault-finding person destroyed the effectiveness and hindered the progress of the entire group? (4) A critical attitude hurts your relationship with God. āWho may worship in your sanctuary, Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts. Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friendsā¦Such people will stand firm foreverā (Ps 15:1-3, 5 NLT).
Meditateāpercolate (4)
āOh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.ā Ps 119:97 NKJV
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Bible meditation is different from meditation as we know it in our society. Meditation, as popularly taught by the Eastern philosophies, tells you to empty your mind. Thatās the exact opposite of what the Scriptures say! Bible meditation means filling your mind with the truth God has revealed. David was a king. Imagine the pressures and problems, demands and decisions he faced each day. Yet he said, āOh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.ā Have you observed that we waste an awful lot of time doing mundane things such as holding on the phone, waiting in line, driving to work? In big cities, people often spend an hour or more going to work, and the same coming home. Thatās ten hours a week. Forty hours a month. Four hundred eighty hours a year. Thatās an extraordinary amount of time! The question is, what are you doing with your mind during this time? Just driving along with your mind in neutral? Or listening to the radio or a CD or music on your smartphone? Or getting angry at all the drivers around you? What a great time to get your mind in gear! What an opportunity to grow spiritually and mentally! What exercise does for your body, meditation does for your soul. The Bible says, āFor as he thinks in his heart, so is heā (Pr 23:7 NKJV). A sign on someoneās office wall read: āYou are not what you think you are. But what you thinkāyou are!ā If you want your life to be different, start thinking different thoughts; meditate on Godās Word!
Meditateāpercolate (2)
āLine upon line, here a little, there a little.ā Isa 28:13 NKJV
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Letās take this meditate-percolate idea a step further. (If youāre a tea drinker, substitute the word ābrew.ā) Maybe this will help you ease into meditation instead of feeling overwhelmed by the thought that you donāt have the time or discipline to do it. This is not an all-or-nothing challenge. Take small steps. If you have only ten minutes, maximize each one of them. You donāt have to read ten chapters of your Bible. Youāre not doing a book report for school, and youāre not going to be graded on a test. Read this verse and it will help you: āBut the word of the Lord was to them, āprecept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a littleāā (v. 13 NKJV). Godās Word is so rich with truth that you can take one phrase or one idea and let it percolate and brew in your mind, whether you have ten minutes or two hours. Instead of watching TV or constantly checking your iPhone for messages, just sit still, drink your coffee or tea, and let Godās indwelling Spirit interpret, enlarge, and enrich His Word as you roll it over and over in your mind. Think about it during your drive time, or your lunch or coffee breaks. Some days you will feel like you have hit the jackpot spiritually; other days you will just feel like you have added a little more to your basic Bible knowledge. Consistency is the key. Do this for one year, and you will have 365 scriptural insights to draw on. Can you see how this could change your life for the better?
Learn to manage your emotions
āHe comforted them and spoke kindly to them.ā Ge 50:21 NKJV
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If you have read the story of Joseph, you realize he had every reason to be angry, bitter, and vindictive for the despicable way in which his brothers treated him. But what does he do? He doesnāt get enraged and he doesnāt even get even. He helps Egypt, the land that enslaved and falsely imprisoned him, to survive famine. He feeds his family when they come begging for food. He forgives, and in doing so, he is freed from his negative emotions. He resolves the issues of the past, does not allow them to deter his destiny, and stays in the favor of God. As second-in-command in Egypt, Joseph held the power of life and death over those who had hurt him. Yet he told them: āYe thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones. And he comforted them and spoke kindly to themā (vv. 20-21 NKJV). We all have emotional reactions in our relationships; the problem isnāt the anger or the disappointmentāunless you are controlled by your emotions. Anytime anger causes you to damage the things God has given you charge over, your emotions are being mismanaged. You give territory to the devil when you fail to manage your anger. āāDonāt sin by letting anger control you.ā Donāt let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devilā (Eph 4:26-27 NLT). So the word for you today isālearn to manage your emotions.
What are you hiding behind?
āHe is hiding among the baggage.ā 1Sa 10:22 NLT
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When Samuel went to present Israelās first king to the people, Saul was discovered āhiding among the baggage.ā The Hebrew word for baggage symbolizes the self-imposed limitations that hinder you from tackling the job God appointed you to do. Things like these: (1) Feelings of inadequacy. Saulās first response when he learned he had been chosen as king was, āAm I notā¦from the smallest tribe of Israelā¦the least of all?ā (1Sa 9:21 NIV). When you fail to figure God into the equation, you will always feel āless than.ā Instead of focusing on your own weaknesses and inabilities, concentrate on āthe incredible greatness of Godās powerā (Eph 1:19 NLT). (2) Fear of what others might think. The writer of Proverbs tells us āfearing people is a dangerous trapā (Pr 29:25 NLT). And Saul fell into it headfirst! When Samuel confronted him for failing to obliterate the Amalekites, he replied, āI was afraid of the people and did what they demandedā (1Sa 15:24 NLT). Godās Word assures us, āI will never leave thee nor forsake thee. Soā¦we may boldly say, The Lord is my helperā¦I will not fear what man shall do unto meā (Heb 13:5-6). Once you take hold of that truth and act on it, you will find there is nothing to be afraid of. (3) Being overly pragmatic. The Bible says, āA double minded man is unstable in all his waysā (Jas 1:8). And Saul fit the bill to a tee! When he didnāt hear from God, he took matters into his own hands and consulted a psychic. And after promising not to harm David, he repeatedly hunted him down. Adaptability is commendable, but God requires consistency and commitment.
Getting beyond the guesswork (3)
āWhen I open a door, no one can close it.ā Rev 3:7 CEV
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Here are two more ways to know Godās will for your life: (1) Providential circumstances. When God is leading, the way will open up for you. When He sends you, He goes before you (See Jn 10:4). His Word says, āWhen I open a door, no one can close it. And when I close a door, no one can open it.ā Who opens the right doors? God. Who closes the wrong doors? God. The right doors lead to blessing, but the wrong doors lead to pain and loss. Plus, nothing but unbelief can keep a door closed once God commands it to open. The only help God needs from you is: āDo not fear! Stand by and seeĀ the salvation of theĀ Lord,Ā which He will accomplish for youā (Ex 14:13 NAS). (2) Inner ātraffic lights.ā The old-timers in the faith would say, āI always watch for the āchecksā in my spirit!ā Youāre a new creature with a new spiritual nature thatās āalive unto God,ā equipped to sense God moving within you (See Ro 6:11). And while the counsel of wise and mature Christians can help, the last word must be spoken in your own heart. āIt is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purposeā (Php 2:13 NIV). If your will is surrendered to God, He is at work in you directing your will and behaviors. Believe it, because He declares it! He will give you the āred lightā when He wants you to stop, and the āgreen lightā when He wants you to go. Donāt go on red! Donāt stop on green!
Getting beyond the guesswork (1)
āGodā¦works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.ā Php 2:13 NIV
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Remember the childhood game Pin the Tail on the Donkey? Winning in that game was āa-stab-in-the-darkā process. And for many of Godās children, determining His will and purpose for their lives amounts to a similar method. But it doesnāt have to. Here are some scriptural steps that take the guesswork out of it. (1) Commit yourself to obeying Godās will. Understanding Godās will is impossible until you commit yourself unreservedly to doing it. Any desire to retain your own will blinds you to His. You donāt need a detailed map; itās a journey of faith. Be confident that God loves you and wants only the best for you, and that when you submit yourself to Him, āYou will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfectā (Ro 12:2 NCV). (2) Listen for the Shepherdās voice and trust it. Jesus doesnāt leave you alone to figure out His will for your life. He is our Good Shepherd, and His āsheep recognize his voiceā¦Heā¦leads themā¦and they follow him because they know his voiceā (Jn 10:3-4 NLT). Note the words, ārecognize his voice.ā With time and experience, you will learn to know when God is speaking to you. Like Abraham who submitted to Godās will without knowing where he would be led, youāre called to surrender your will without knowing where He will lead you. God promises wisdom, insight, and understandingānot to the spiritually smart, but to any person who lacks wisdom (See Jas 1:5-6). So believe that His wisdom is yours!
What do you āseeā? (2)
āI am doing a new thingā¦do you not perceive it?ā Isa 43:19 NIV
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Your life will manifest what you continually keep in front of you. Paul says, āWe have the mind of Christā (1Co 2:16 NIV), and creativity and vision are part of the package. A blind man asked St. Anthony, āWhat could be worse than losing your sight?ā He replied, āLosing your vision.ā And a respected author adds, āMaybe youāre not experiencing Godās best because your vision needs to be improved. You say, āI have problemsā¦Iām in debtā¦Iām lonely.ā Donāt let that image take root. Paint a new pictureā¦See yourself stronger and healthierā¦rising higherā¦accomplishing your dreamsā¦let the image of victory take hold. Get it on the insideā¦[Remind yourself] of these scriptural truths: āI can do all things through Christā (Php 4:13); āThis is the day the Lord has madeā (Ps 118:24 NKJV); āWe are more than conquerors through [Christ]ā (Ro 8:37); āGodā¦always causes us to triumph in Christā (See 2Co 2:14); āYou bless the righteous; you surround them with your favorā (Ps 5:12 NIV); āSurely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my lifeā (Ps 23:6 NKJV).ā In Bible times wine was stored in leather wineskins, but as they aged, they lost their flexibility. New wine always required new wineskins. And just like, āYou canāt pour new wine into old wineskinsā (See Mt 9:17 NKJV), God canāt give you a new vision until you change the old images and attitudes youāre carrying around in your head. God says, āI am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?ā He is ready to do something new in your life today. Are you ready to change your old way of thinking and make room for it?
Keep your group healthy
āThere is one who scatters, yet increasesā¦andā¦one who withholdsā¦ but it leads to poverty.ā Pr 11:24 NKJV
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Not all poverty is financial; there is a spiritual poverty that comes from not reaching out to others. Pastor Allen White says, āSometimes it makes sense to keep your group small, but the following reasons donāt count: (1) āWe value closeness.ā Too much closeness can cause your group to become ingrown. The motto changes to āUs four and no moreā or āWe seven going to heaven.ā What was once so great becomes the death of the group. Members move away, schedules conflict, the group begins to decline around the two-year mark, and itās harder to recruit new members. There is too much history going on. (2) āOutsiders might upset our rhythm.ā People get comfortable with familiar patterns. They sit in the same place and make the same inside jokes, but a comfort zone can quickly become a rut. New people donāt āgetā the jokes, they donāt know the routine, and whatās worse, they sit in your spot! (3) āConfidentiality.ā It is paramount because āloose lips sink ships.ā When new members join, review the ground rules. The conversation might go like this: āSince several new folks have joined, letās take a minute to review the ground rules. We value confidentiality, and anything said here needs to stay here.ā If they agree, youāre good to go. (4) āIf we get too big, weāll have to divide.ā When it comes to the ideal group size, eight to twelve seems to work well. But numbers arenāt nearly as important as whatās happening inside the group. When numbers go up, personal care sometimes goes down.ā Bottom line: Keep your group healthy.