Navigating lifeās losses (4)
āA time to gain, and a time to lose.ā Ecc 3:6 NKJV
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What else do our children need from us when theyāre grieving? (1) Our honesty. They need to know weāre hurting too. When they see you crying, but you tell them, āIām all right,ā theyāre confused. They think either youāre not hurting, and tears donāt mean anything, or youāre not being real with them. They need to know the genuine you, so they can be real with you and trust you with their hurts. (2) Our awareness of their feelings without overprotecting them. For them, as for you, āThere is a time to weepā¦mournā¦loseā (vv. 4, 6 NKJV). God has made all these experiences āappropriate in its timeā (v.11 NAS). Donāt inhibit or invalidate their sadness, anger, and depression. Itās part of their God-given humanness, and will help them become balanced, compassionate adults. (3) Sensitive listening. Kids learn and grow through loss when they have an open and understanding listener. Listen, then reflect their feelings. āSounds like youāre angry. Want to talk about it?ā Donāt analyze, ask! Listen with your eyes and ears. āYour words say youāre all right, but your eyes suggest youāre sad.ā (4) Permission to express negative emotions. Anger and resentment aimed at doctors, the system, family members, you, even God is normal! Donāt say, āYou shouldnāt say such things.ā Instead say, āSounds like a real, honest expression of pain and disappointment. Want to talk more about it?ā Expression detoxifies negative emotion. (5) Inclusion in our grief rituals. Include them in family gatherings, funeral planning, and services, and they will find comfort in the validation, closure, and healing these times bring!
Navigating lifeās losses (2)
āA time to be born, and a time to die.ā Ecc 3:2
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Researchers at the Colorado Institute of Grief offer us this helpful four-stage path to recovery. Stage one ā Shock. Our initial response is one of denial and disbelief. āI canāt believe this is happeningā¦itās not real!ā There is a numbing of our senses, a God-designed natural āanesthesiaā that buffers the early blow and allows us time to gather our coping mechanisms. Stage two ā Protest. We feel anger and resentment against God, yet we feel guilty for blaming Him. We may blame ourselves, the doctors, the patient, and question Godās love and faithfulnessāeven bargaining with Him. āIf You will just do a miracle and bring them back, I willā¦ā Stage three ā Disorganization. Everything comes apart at the seams. The lifestyle we knew and loved unravels. The dreams we cherished evaporate. We feel hopeless, powerless, lost in a strange, empty universe. Secondary losses may loom: financial insecurity, social dislocation, depression, loss of concentration, etc. Weāre convinced that life will never be normal again. We survive moment to moment, afraid to anticipate the road ahead. Stage four ā Reorganization. Unrelenting grief gives way to waves of sadness varying in frequency and intensity. We begin to accept and accommodate our loss. The energy we expended on grief work becomes available again, enabling us to adjust to the demands and opportunities of our new lifestyle. Slowly we reemerge and take hold of the reins again. The process will take many months, and full recovery even years. But God promises it will come! There will be āa time to healā¦build upā¦laughā¦danceā¦gain!ā (Ecc 3:3-4, 6 NKJV).
Are you being sifted?
āSatan has asked to siftā¦you as wheat. But I have prayedā¦that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.ā Lk 22:31-32 NIV
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Jon Walker says, āWhen Jesus told Peter, āSatan has asked to siftā¦you as wheatāā¦it raises the question in our minds, Lord, did you have to say yes? A good sifting brings glory to God, such as when Job continued to praise his Maker when things seemed lost and even his wife was telling him to give up on God. It probes your weaknesses. Where youāre still thinking, āI can,ā a good, swift sift will push you to say, āI canāt, but God can.ā It allows God to scrape away the distractions that could hinder you from fulfilling His purpose in your life. Peterās siftingā¦would scrape away all his stomp-and-snort bluster, revealing a heart thatās teachable and willing to welcome Cornelius and his Gentile clan into the family of God. Notice, Jesus didnāt say, āGet ready for a whirlwind of hurt, Peter. I know youāre going to let me down!ā Instead He pointed to the future. Peter would survive the sifting; he would return humbled, but stronger, and with purpose to strengthen his brothers and sisters. The Lord said yes to the sifting to transform Peter from a leader who serves to a servant who leads. And thatās a significant shift from the thinking of men to the thinking of God. You may have days when you wonder if God is letting Satan sift you. You can take a God-view of it, knowing He is always in control. And āgreater is he that is in you, than he that is in the worldā (1Jn 4:4).ā
Obedience Training
āI delight to do Your will.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ps 40:8 NKJV
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Billy Grahamās wife, Ruth, wrote: āTonight I sit on the porch, our old German Shepherd dog lying at my feet. Thunder rumbles in the distance. As the storm nears he tears into the front yard to meet itā¦furiously doing battle. As it passes he returns to the porch, convinced he has driven it away. Heās a German guard dog, carefully trained in search and rescue, attack and obedience. Search and rescue in these mountains can come in handy. I canāt imagine an occasion on which Iād give the order to attack. But a well-trained dog can sense hostility or spot a weapon (even what resembles a weapon), in which case itās a wise person who freezes in his tracks. But itās the obedience training that gives real joy. To stop, to sit, to lie down, to go away, to search, to stay, to heel. A disobedient dog is not only a headache, he can be a liability. Obedience makes a dog a joy. Is it less so with God and His children? There are some I know whoāve been trained in attack. We will not mention their namesāyou may know a fewābut theyāre skilled at it. Then there are those trained in search and rescue. (I put the Salvation Army in this group.) And there are those whoāve been trained in obedience. I think this more than anything else must give the Lord pleasure. Simple obedience; joyful, eager, unquestioning obedience. To be able to say with the Psalmist, āI delight to do Your will, O my Godā would be the height of training for the Christian. For this is what gives God the greatest pleasure.ā
Break Your Alabaster Jar (3)
āShe has done a beautiful thing to me.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Mk 14:6 NIV
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Most of us are good actors, but itās difficult to fake a reaction. And when the woman broke the alabaster jar, the reaction of the disciples is telling. āWhy this waste?ā They thought she was pouring her perfume down the drain by pouring it at Jesusā feet. They called it a waste, but He called it āa beautiful thing.ā Then He went on to say, āWherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of herā (v. 9 NIV). Can you imagine what this one statement did for her self-image? It had probably been years since sheād heard a kind word or a compliment. Those words could be paraphrased, āYou may not believe in yourself, but I believe in you.ā No one can spot potential like Jesus. Thatās because Heās the One who gave it to us in the first place. And thatās why God will never give up on you. Itās not in His nature (See Php 1:6). His āgoodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] lifeā (Ps 23:6). All you have to do is turn around. This woman was desperate enough to crash the party, and Jesus responds to desperate people. How desperate are you? Desperate enough to make a move, make a change, make a sacrifice? Desperate enough to pray through the night? Read through the Bible? Reconcile the conflict? Plead with a friend who is a lost cause? Give your life savings to a kingdom cause? The path of least resistance wonāt get you to where you need to be. But if you go out of your way for God, God will go out of His way for you.
Break Your Alabaster Jar (1)
āA woman who had lived a sinful lifeā¦brought an alabaster jar of perfume.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Lk 7:37 NIV
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The Bible says, āA woman who had lived a sinful lifeā¦brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weepingā¦poured perfume on themā (vv. 37-38 NIV). This perfume was pure nard, a perennial herb that is harvested in the Himalayas. Half a litre of it! And the jar itself, made of translucent gemstones, was probably a family heirloom. It might even have been her dowry. Plain and simple, it was her most precious possession. How ironic, yet how appropriate that the perfume used in her profession as a prostitute would become the token of her profession of faith when she poured out every last drop at the feet of Jesus. Breaking that bottle was her way of breaking with the past. No more masking the stench of sin with the sweet scent of perfume. No more secrets. No more shame. She walked out of the dark shadow of sin into the light of the world. There comes a moment when you have to come clean with God. A moment when you need to unveil your secrets, struggles, and sins. A moment when you need to fall full weight on the grace of God. Why do we act as though our sin disqualifies us from the grace of God? That is theĀ onlyĀ thing that qualifies us! Anything else is a self-righteous attempt to earn Godās grace. You cannot trust Godās grace 99 percent. Itās all or nothing. When we try to save ourselves, we forfeit the salvation that comes through Jesus Christ alone, by grace through faith (See Eph 2:8-9).
Give God Your Best
āI insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.āĀ Ā Ā Ā 2Sa 24:24 NLT
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Instead of trusting God for victory over his enemies, David decided of his own volition to count the number of troops in his army to see how strong he was. God considered it āa slap in the face,ā and a plague hit Israel that wiped out seventy thousand people. In order to stop the plague, David was told: āBuild an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusiteā (v.18 NLT). When Araunah realized what was happening, he offered his threshing floor and oxen to David free of charge. But David said: āāNo, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.ā So David paid him fifty pieces of silver for the threshing floor and the oxen. David built an altar there to the Lord and sacrificed the burnt offerings and peace offerings. And the Lord answered his prayerā¦and the plague on Israel was stoppedā (vv. 24-25 NLT). The old Anglo-Saxon word for worship isĀ worth-ship, which is the act of ascribing worth or value to a person or object. Whatās the point? Itās this: When it comes to serving God, if it doesnāt costāit doesnāt count! God knows we canāt all give the same amount. But what Heās asking for isnāt equalĀ giving, but equalĀ sacrifice!Ā The Bible says, āHonor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everythingā (Pr 3:9 NLT). So whether youāre worshiping, serving, or giving, make sure youāre giving God your best.
Doodlebugs And Gossips
āThe words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Pr 18:8 NKJV
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The doodlebug lives at the bottom of a little cone-shaped hole that he burrows in the sand. He gets down as low as possible so heās always looking up at everything else. When the ant comes around and gets on the side of this carefully prepared cone, the doodlebug feels a few grains of sand slide down, which signals him that āfoodā is up there. At that point he begins to throw dirt on his victim. What heās trying to do is drag the ant down to his level. And thatās what we do when we gossip. We throw dirt on others, hoping to bring them down to our level. Itās why Solomon warned: āThe words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.ā The ear craves gossip like a hungry stomach craves food. Solomon goes on to give this warning: āHe who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lipsā (Pr 20:19 NKJV). So if you have gossipy lips or greedy ears, God says, āDonāt do it!ā Hereās something you may not have considered: While you can never be known and judged by what others say about you, you can be known and judged by what you say about them. Thatās why the apostle Paul admonished, āDo notreceiveĀ an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnessesā (1Ti 5:19 NKJV). And one more thought: A gossip must always have an accomplice to commit the crime. So the word for you today is: Donāt receive or repeat gossip.
Secrets Of Self-Control (6)
āDonāt give the Devil a chance.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Eph 4:27 GNT
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Avoid the things that tempt you.Ā Stay away from situations that weaken your self-control. If you do not want to be stung, stay away from bees. Plan in advance to avoid situations that you know are going to cause temptation in your life. Donāt keep candy in the cupboard if you are trying to diet. Donāt acquire credit cards if you are an impulse spender. Get rid of your access to pornography if you are struggling with it. If you are a teenager, the time to begin thinking about self-control is not when youāre in the back seat of a car with someone who turns you on. Question: What doĀ youĀ need to avoid? Or get rid of? Magazines? Books? DVDs? A relationship? The Bible says, āBad company corrupts good characterā (1Co 15:33 NIV). Avoid people and situations that tempt you. You may need to change your job because a relationship there is wrong and harmful to you. Thatās a drastic measure, but you may need to do something that drastic in order to avoid whatever is tempting you at this particular time. If you have lived through years of repeated failure, then itās time to get honestāand humble. Itās time to pray: āLord, Iām not strong enough to resist this temptation by myself. Help me!ā He will! āI patiently waited, Lord, for you to hear my prayer. You listened and pulled me from a lonely pit full of mud and mire. You let me stand on a rock with my feet firmā¦Many will see this, and they will honor and trust you, the Lord Godā (Ps 40:1-3 CEV).
Secrets Of Self-Control (4)
āI can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.āĀ Ā Php 4:13 NKJV
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Start believing you can change.Ā Your beliefs control your behavior. The way you think determines the way you feel. And when your feelings become strong enough, they determine the way you act. The person who says, āI canāt do it,ā and the person who says, āI can do it,ā are both right. Much of the time you set yourself up to be defeated by what youāre saying. Your words reinforce either your right or wrong belief system. Three times in First Peter, God reminds us to be clear minded and self-controlled. Why? Because a clear mind is essential to self-control. God gave us the power to change our habits when He gave us the power to choose our thoughts. Does Romans twelve verse two tell us to be transformed by working hard or by sheer willpower? No. What are we transformed by? The renewing of the mind. When your self-control is being tested, you need to fill your mind with the promises of God. Hereās one: āWhen you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under itā (1Co 10:13 NIV). You must believe God when He says thereās āa way outā for you. Paul writes, āIĀ canĀ do all things through Christ who strengthens me.ā That means youĀ canĀ change, and youĀ canĀ be different. Stop setting yourself up for failure by constantly criticizing yourself: āIām no good. I simply have no control over my life.ā Nagging doesnāt workāon yourself or on anyone else! Instead say, āEverything is possible for him who believesā (Mk 9:23 NIV). āAnd I believe.ā
Secrets Of Self-Control (2)
āWith the Lordās help, [you] will stand.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ro 14:4 NLT
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Put your past behind you.Ā ā[This] one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining forward toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goalā (Php 3:13 NIV). This Scripture exposes a misconception that will keep you from gaining self-control: Once a failure, always a failure! You may say, āOh, I tried to quit my bad habit. In fact, I have tried over and over. I guess Iāll never be able to get control of this.ā That is a misconception. Paul says, āWe get knocked down, but we get up again and keep goingā (2Co 4:9 TLB). Have you watched a baby learning to walk? They fall down a lot, but they donāt stay down. They keep on trying, and ultimately they succeed. How far do you think theyād get if they just gave up and said, āSome people were meant to be walkers, and some were notā? Failure in the past does not mean that you will never be able to change. But focusing on past failures, however, does guarantee their repetition. It is like driving a car while looking in the rearview mirror. Youāre going to collide with whatās ahead of you. You have to put your past behind you. No one had more failures than Thomas Edison. Most of us would have given up, but not him. He once said, āDonāt call it a failure, call it an education! Now I know what doesnāt work!ā When you realize sin doesnāt work, itās a defining moment and your springboard to victory. A winner is simply someone who gets back up one more time than they fall down. So the word for you today is: āWith the Lordās help, [you] will stand.ā
This Year Invest What God Has Given You
āRemember, each of us will stand personally before the Judgment Seat of God.ā Ā Ā Ā Ro 14:10 TLB
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Judgment day will be characterized by two things: rewards and regrets! Jesus highlights this in the story of three servants who were given talents to invest on behalf of their master. The first two invested well and were rewarded, while the third one buried his talent and was judged accordingly. The first two considered their options, crunched the numbers, took the plunge, and were willing to risk failure. As a result their boss said, āWell done, good and faithful servantā (Mt 25:21 NKJV). Now, God doesnāt reward foolishness. So before you make a move, talk it over with Him (See Pr 3:5-6). The third servant, however, said, āI was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the groundā (Mt 25:25 NKJV). He made the most common and tragic mistake when it comes to giftedness: He failed to benefit his Master with his talent. Some invest their talents and give God credit, while others misuse theirs and give Him grief. Some honor Him with āfruit,ā while others insult Him with excuses. And how does God feel about the latter? āGet rid of this āplay-it-safeā who wonāt go out on a limbā (Mt 25:29 MSG). Fear is the opposite of faith, and āwithout faith it is impossible to please [God]ā (Heb 11:6). So this year step out in faith; God wonāt let you down. Take a risk; He wonāt fail you. Even if you stumble on your way to success, He encourages you to envision the day when youāll feel His hand on your shoulder and hear the words: āWell done, good and faithful servant!ā
This Year Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone (1)
āDonāt be afraid, for I am with you.ā Isa 41:10 NLT
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Two of our biggest fears areāfailure and criticism. And they never completely go away. You can overcome them, but theyāll show up when you face your next challenge. Itās in accepting fear as part of lifeās journey instead of running from it, that you learn to conquer it. Indeed, as you look back at what youāve already overcome, you realize that most times failure doesnāt do permanent damageāyou actually grow stronger through it. If youāre anxious today, God is saying to you, āDonāt be afraid, for I am with you.ā So trust Him, and get out of your comfort zone! An unknown poet wrote: āI used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldnāt fail; the same four walls of busywork were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things Iād never done before, but stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor. I said it didnāt matter that I wasnāt doing much; I said I didnāt care for things like dreams and goals and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone, but deep inside I longed for something special of my own. I couldnāt let my life go by just watching others win; I held my breath and stepped outside and let the change begin. I took a step, and with new strength Iād never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone goodbye, then closed and locked the door. If you are in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.ā The word for you today is: This year, get out of your comfort zone.
Rules Of Engagement
āA gentle response defuses anger.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Pr 15:1 TM
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Even in the best of marriages arguments will arise from time to time. With two people of differing temperaments, tastes, and ways of thinking, how could it be otherwise? So here are a few rules of engagement:Ā (1) Think before you speak.Ā Ask yourself if fear, stress, or worry may have provoked your mateās response. Is it bothering you right now because you are feeling insecure and unappreciated? Could you be misreading or exaggerating the problem? Take time to try and identify whatās really happening.Ā (2) Ask for what you need.Ā Itās okay to admit that some days you are needier than others. Dr. Gary Oliver says: āWhen a woman feels panicked every time her husband comes home late because her previous husband had an affairā¦itās okay to say, āI know itās irrational, but Iām having a panicky day.ā That kind of honesty strengthens a relationship.āĀ (3) Never threaten.Ā Threats just make your mate defensive and insecure. As a result, they canāt hear what youāre saying and nothing gets resolved.Ā (4) Ditch the baggage from previous relationships.Ā The Bible says, āLoveā¦always looks for the bestā¦never looks backā (1Co 13:4-7 TM). Itās wrong to make your mate keep āprovingā themselves over and over again. Donāt assume that old relationship problems are destined to keep repeating themselves. They wonāt if youāre communicating and growing.Ā (5) Say something nice to your mate every day.Any time you think something good about your spouse, stop and tell them. And when they reciprocate, respond graciously to what theyāre saying. Remember, sharp words can create wounds, but āa gentle response defuses anger.ā
Strengthen Your Faith (3)
āWhenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.āĀ Ps 56:3 NKJV
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Faith is like a muscle; trouble may strain it, but in the end it grows stronger. David understood this truth. He was continually hounded by his enemies. Even as he was being anointed to sit on the throne of Israel, Saul was still occupying it. But instead of losing faith in Godās promise, David declared that āthe Lord has chosen everyone who is faithful to be his very own, and he answers my prayersā (Ps 4:3 CEV). When the Philistines captured him, he prayed, āThere are many who fight against me, O Most High. Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in Youā (Ps 56:2-3 NKJV). When he ended up in a cave fleeing from Saulās jealous rage, he said, āI will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until thisā¦is pastā (Ps 57:1 TLB). During the third century when St. Felix of Nola was running from his enemies, he took refuge in a cave. Eventually a spider began to weave a web across the small opening, sealing it off and making it look like nobody had been inside for months. Consequently his pursuers passed by. Stepping out into the sunshine, Felix declared, āWhere God is, a spiderās web is a wall. And where God is not, a wall is a spiderās web.ā Jesus said youād have problems in life; people will disappoint you, and youāll even disappoint yourself. Sometimes youāll end up in a cave because of something you did, or because of circumstances over which you have no control. But with God on your side, you can say, āWhenever Iām afraid, I will trust in You.ā
Navigating lifeās losses (3)
āA time to gain, and a time to lose.ā Ecc 3:6 NKJV
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How can we help our children navigate lifeās losses? (1) Donāt underestimate their capacity for grief. Children are often the āforgottenā grievers. Their pain is real and intense; recognize and validate it. (2) Donāt avoid talking about the loss when theyāre present. Excluding them from adults in mourning denies them the opportunity for support, and increased understanding about their loss. Include them in the familyās collective grief experience. (3) Encourage them to share their feelings about the loss. Teach them that being ārealā is more important than being āstrong,ā and confirm that their feelings matter. Very young children have limited understanding about the meaning, permanence, and irreversibility of death. They can only talk about it briefly and concretely. Older children understand its meaning and should be encouraged to talk about it. (4) Make allowance for each childās personality. Our personality determines our grieving style. Introverted children may need their own space; extroverted ones may need to be verbal and sociable. Dependent children need strong adults around them; independent ones can handle a lot on their own. (5) Communicate realistically with them. Adults often use language that confuses children. āYour dad has gone homeā¦fallen asleepā¦passed awayā¦gone to his rest,ā etc. Speaking of death as the end of this physical life is biblical, clarifies the significance of the loss, and allows children to ask questions that matter to them. Your children can handle loss, and they can understand that everlasting life is Godās great solution and one day we will join our loved ones in heaven (See Jn 14:2-3).
Navigating lifeās losses (1)
āA time to gain, and a time to lose.ā Ecc 3:6 NKJV
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Godās Word neither ignores nor minimizes the painful realities of life. Inevitably, we and our loved ones will experience lifeās losses: illness, aging, death, divorce, disability, loss of independence, unemployment, financial reversals, etc. Todayās culture prepares us for gain, but not for loss; to dance, but not to mourn (See Ecc 3:4). Major losses throw us into unchartered territory. So, we need to understand the dynamics of our loss in order to help us through it and back to living again. Life-changing loss begins with bereavementāthe agony of feeling that something or someone indispensable to us has been ripped away, leaving us feeling robbed. Then comes griefāsearing emotions of overwhelming sorrow that are often accompanied by anger, distress, confusion, and helplessness. Next, we move into the mourning stageāand begin to express our grief and loss. This is the āhard workā stage of tears, memories, and heartrending spasms of weeping that shake us to our very core. We feel guilt and remorse over what we have said or done or not said or done. And our heartache gives those around us opportunity to respond, offering the comfort and reassurance we need to begin healing. This is Godās protocol for healing broken hearts. At 120, the Israelitesā beloved leader diedāleaving behind him a grief-stricken nation (See Dt 34). And God allowed them thirty days to mourn their loss and to comfort one another before resuming the business of life. So take the time you need to do the work of mourning your losses because Jesus said, āBlessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comfortedā (Mt 5:4).
Show Grace, Because Youāll Need It Yourself!
āIf aā¦relationship with God could come by rule-keepingā¦Christ died unnecessarily.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Gal 2:21 TM
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While grace doesnāt give anyone a license to live as they please, the judgmentalism that comes from insisting that others live by our standards has caused untold damage. Chuck Swindoll writes: āLegalism spreads a paralyzing venomā¦blinds our eyes, dulls our edge and arouses pride in our heartā¦love is overshadowed by a mental clipboard with a long checklist requiring others to measure upā¦soon friendship is fractured by a judgmental attitude and a critical look. And before you conclude thatĀ youāreĀ not guilty, observe your reaction when you meet another believer who doesnāt think, act, or dress the way you do. Even when you think youāre sophisticated enough to disguise your real feelings, they come out in the āstony stareā and the āholier than thouā attitude.ā Jesus said, āDonāt judge others, and God wonāt judge you. Donāt be hard on others, and God wonāt be hard on you. Forgive others, and God will forgive youā (Lk 6:37 CEV). A judgmental Christian acts as though blowing someone elseās light out will cause their light to shine brighter. But itās not so. Paul writes, āIf aā¦relationship with God could come by rule-keepingā¦Christ died unnecessarily.ā You say, āBut what if someone is getting off track, or sinning intentionally?ā The Bible says, āIf another believer is overcome by sinā¦humblyĀ help that person back onto the right pathā¦be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourselfā (Gal 6:1 NLT). When you take it upon yourself to condemn othersāyou are denying them the same grace you may need before the day is over.
The Cure For Worry
āOffer up your prayers and requests to God.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Php 4:6 CEV
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The Bible says, āWith thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Thenā¦God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feelā (vv. 6-7 CEV). When you pray more, you worry less. That means you have a choice: Either pray about it or worry about it. In prayer you give the problem to God, therefore you experience more peace of mind. Does that mean you wonāt worry about the problem at all? No. It means youāll worry about it less. While your goal is to give it completely to God and not worry about it at all, youāll only get there step by step. Godās not asking you to exist in a state of denial. āDonāt worryābe happyā fails to appreciate the seriousness of the concerns you have. God doesnāt expect you to suddenly stop caring. Instead He offers an alternative to the pointless and exhausting habit of worry: āPray without ceasingā (1Th 5:17). Does that mean a thirty-second prayer will rid you of all anxiety? No. It means start your day with prayer, and continue praying off and on throughout the day. Pray as you drive. Pray at work. Pray before your lunch break. Pray when you get that difficult phone call. Pray when youāre disappointed by something. Pray when surprises come. Pray when you triumph. Pray in the midst of painful news. Pray without ceasingāliterally. Your heavenly Father, being deeply touched by your struggles, loves it when you come to Him asking for help. Heās right there, ready to step in. Just invite Him to do it.
Break Your Alabaster Jar (2)
āMore than a yearās wages.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Mk 14:5 NIV
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Itās possible the alabaster jar of perfume represented every penny of this womanās life savings. The value is evidenced by the fact that two gospel writers find it noteworthy enough to give us a written estimate: three hundred denariiāthe equivalent of an entire yearās salary. Letās get down to brass tacks. For most of us, the alabaster jar of perfume isĀ money. Itās our nest egg. Itās our paycheck. Itās our retirement fund. And the question is this: Are you willing to give it all away? Weāre not suggesting you should not pay your bills or plan for your future or take care of your family. But if God prompted you to give it all away, would you be willing to break your alabaster jar and pour it all at the feet of Jesus? During his lifetime, John Wesley gave away approximately thirty thousand pounds. Adjusted for inflation, thatās more than $1,764,705.88 in todayās dollars. Wesley made a covenant with God in 1731 to limit his income to twenty-eight pounds a year. But the first year he made only thirty pounds, so he gave just two pounds. The next year his income doubled, and because he managed to continue living on twenty-eight pounds, he gave away thirty-two pounds. He never had more than one hundred pounds in his possession because he was afraid of storing up earthly treasure. He believed Godās blessing should result in raising our standard ofĀ giving, not our standard ofĀ living. Even when his income rose to thousands of pounds, he lived simply and gave away all surplus money. He died with a few coins in his pocket, but a storehouse of treasure in heaven. Think about it!
Make Prayer A Priority
āWe will give ourselvesā¦to prayer andā¦the word.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ac 6:4 NKJV
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InĀ Disciplines of a Godly Man, pastor and author R. Kent Hughes says: āJay Sidlow Baxter once shared a page from his own personal diary with a group of pastors who had inquired about the discipline of prayer. He began telling howā¦he entered the ministry determined he would be a real man of prayer. However, it wasnāt long before his increasing responsibilities, administrative duties, and the subtle subterfuges of pastoral life began to crowd prayer out. Moreover, he began to get used to it, making excuses for himself. Then one morning it all came to a head as he stood over his work-strewn desk and looked at his watch. The voice of the Spirit was calling him to pray. At the same time another velvety voice was telling him to be practical and get his letters answered, and that he ought to face the fact that he wasnāt one of the āspiritual sortāāonly a few people could be like that. āThat last remark,ā says Baxter, āhurt like a dagger blade. I couldnāt bear to think it was true.ā He was horrified by his ability to rationalize away the very ground of his ministerial vitality and power.ā Understand this:Ā MinutesĀ invested in prayer will give you a greater return thanhoursĀ spent in ceaseless activity. The New Testament apostles understood that. As the church grew bigger and they became busier, they made a life-changing decision: āWe will give ourselves continually to prayer andā¦the word.ā As a result the church grew and multiplied. So make prayer a priority!
Take Better Care Of Your Body
āHonor God with your body.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 1Co 6:20 NLT
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Unless you get into better shape physically, you may go to heaven sooner than you planned. The Bible says, āHonor God with your body.ā How do you do that?Ā (1) Change your diet.Ā Many of us eat for the wrong reasonsālike stress, boredom, fatigue, anger, depression, and low self-esteem. Try to get to the root of your problem. Insufficient fruit, vegetables, and fiber, and too much fast food can wreak havoc with your health. Practice self-control. āThose who belong to Christā¦have given up their old selfish feelings andā¦things they wanted to doā (Gal 5:24 NCV).Ā (2) Start exercising.Ā The secret is to start slowly. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, park your car and walk, play ball with your kids instead of watching TV. God designed your body to move, and that doesnāt mean strolling from your car to your desk every morning. Exercising three times a week for thirty minutes will reduce your blood pressure and stress, and boost your sense of well-being. Come on, get with it!(3) Go to bed earlier.Ā Pastor Tony Jenkins consulted his doctor about his wifeās snoring. āDoes it really bother you that much?ā the doctor asked. āItās not justme,ā Jenkins replied. āItās bothering the whole congregation!ā Seriously, you require eight hours of shut-eye. You can probably get by on less, but do you want to just āget byā? The Psalmist said, āIt is no useā¦to get up early and stay up lateā¦The Lord gives sleep to those he lovesā (Ps 127:2 NCV). So turn off the TV and the computer and turn in at a reasonable hour. The word for you today is: Take better care of your body!
Secrets Of Self-Control (7)
āLet the Spirit direct your lives.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Gal 5:16 GNT
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Depend on Christās power to help you.āLet the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature.ā The sequence in this Scripture is very important. āLet the Spirit direct your lifeāāthatās the first partāāand you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature.ā Notice, it doesnāt say you wonāt have those desires. Spirit-filled people still experience the desires of the flesh, itās just that they wonāt satisfy them. We usually get the sequence backwards. We say, āIām not good enough to have Godās Spirit in my life. Once I get my act together, then Iām going to let the Holy Spirit control my life.ā God doesnāt say, āGet your act together and then I will help you.ā He says, āLet my Holy Spirit control you while you are still struggling with the problem. I will help you change.ā The sequence makes all the difference. You wouldnāt say, āIām going to get well first, then Iām going to go see the doctor.ā Thatās absurd! You need Christ in your lifeĀ now!Ā He has the power to help you change. You say, āBut I enjoy doing what I do.ā Thatās because there are āpleasures of sin for a seasonā (Heb 11:25). None of us would sin if it immediately made us miserable. Donāt look for God to nullify the appeal of sin; ask Him for the power to overcome its appeal. āFor God is at work within you, helping youĀ wantĀ to obey him, and then helping youĀ doĀ what he wantsā (Php 2:13 TLB). Youāll receive the desire and the power to do whatās right.
Secrets Of Self-Control (5)
āShare each otherās burdens.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Gal 6:2 NLT
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Make yourself accountable to someone.Alcoholics Anonymous has a ābuddy systemā in which you are encouraged to call someone whenever you feel the pressure building to return to an old, destructive pattern. And itās scriptural: āShare each otherās troublesā (v. 2 TLB). You may not like this step, but if you are fighting a losing battle you need it. Find someone who will check up on you, pray with you, and encourage you in areas where you want more self-control. āTwo people can resist an attack that would defeat one person aloneā (Ecc 4:12 GNT). Every church needs ābuddyā relationships in which people are accountable to each other; relationships in which people encourage one another in the Lord. Having someone hold you accountable is tough, but it works. What should you look for in a ābuddyā? First, they should be the same gender as you. You donāt need to place another temptation in your path by sharing personal problems with someone of the opposite sex. Second, you should look for someone you can depend on to follow through on this commitmentāsomeone who is faithful. Third, look for someone who will keep your problem confidential. Donāt choose someone who is known to talk too much. Fourth, tell your buddy that he or she has permission to check up on you from time to time and ask, āHow are you doing with your problem?ā Knowing that someone will be asking about your problem is an additional incentive not to give in to temptation. That may be the extra push you need to get you moving on the road to victory and self-control.
Secrets Of Self-Control (3)
āThe grace of Godā¦teaches us to say āNo.āāĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Tit 2:11-12 NIV
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Talk back to your feelings.Ā We put far too much emphasis on our feelings. We think everything has to feel good or itās not worthwhile. We say things like, āI donāt feel like studyingā¦I donāt feel like workingā¦I donāt feel like reading my Bible.ā Or, āI feel like having another drinkā¦I feel like sleeping until noon.ā Donāt give your feelings so much authority. Feelings are highly unreliable; if you allow them, they will control and manipulate you. God doesnāt want you to be controlled by your feelings; He wants you to master your moods. With Christ as the Master of your life, you can master your feelings. Talk back to them. God says He wants you to learn how to challenge your emotions. āThe grace of Godā¦teaches us to say āNoā to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly livesā (vv. 11-12 NIV). Godās grace gives you the power to do whatās right. It gives you the ability to say no to that feeling, to that desire, to that impulse. Are you battling a weight problem? Before you ever walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door, you have already begun to talk to yourself about eating. If you are serious, you will have to challenge some of those subconscious attitudes about food. When you hear your mind saying, āI just have to have a snack or Iāll die,ā you have to say, āNo, Iām not going to die. In fact, I will be healthier if I donāt have a snack.ā Bottom line: Godās supernatural power can help you to master your moods, thoughts, and desires.
Secrets Of Self-Control (1)
āA manās temptation is due to the pull of his own inward desires.ā Ā Ā Ā Jas 1:14 PHPS
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For the next few days letās look at how to develop self-control. Hereās the first step:Accept responsibility for your lack of self-control.Ā Admit your problem. āA manās temptation is due to the pull of his own inward desires, which greatly attract him.ā The main reason you do thingsāis because you like to! When you know somethingās bad for you but you still do it, itās because you want to. Sometimes we try to ignore the problem of self-control or deny it: āWhat problem? I donāt have a problem,ā or āItās just the way I am,ā or āEverybody else is doing it.ā Sometimes we blame others: āIf I just had different parents,ā or āThe Devil made me do it.ā As long as you waste your energy making excuses, you canāt make progress. James points out that we like to take the path of least resistance, and giving in to temptation is usually the easiest course. The starting point for developing self-control is to face what God has already said in His Word: āEveryone who sins is a slave to sinā (Jn 8:34 NIV). Do you want more self-control? Then admit you have a problem, and be specific about it: āI have this problem. This is where I need help.ā You may have a problem with food, drink, drugs, words, your temper, money, exercise, sex, TV, clothes, timeāall these areas need self-control. So today get down on your knees and talk to God about the problem, believing that with His help youāll be able to solve it.
This Year Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone (2)
āBe strong and courageous! Do not be afraidā¦[of] them!ā Ā Ā Ā Dt 31:6 NLT
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Incredible though it may seem, when Israel encountered difficulties in the wilderness, they wanted to return to their old life of slavery in Egypt. The security of the known was less threatening to them than the challenges of the unknown. So the Lord said to them, not once, but twice, āBe strong and courageous! Do not be afraidā¦[of] themā¦the Lord your God willā¦go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor [forsake] you.ā Why did He say that? Because itās in taking action that you overcome your fear! When you challenge your fears, you master them. When you wrestle with your problems, they lose their grip on you. When you dare to confront the things that scare you, you open the door to the future. A wise man once said, āTake the bull by the horns until you have him screaming for mercy.ā Almost without exception every man and woman in the Bible whom God called to do great things felt inadequate, and told Him so. And how did God respond to them? āI will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right handā (Isa 41:10 NLT). Author John Mason writes: āThe desire for safety stands against every great and virtuous dream. Security, many times, is the first step toward stagnation. Boldness in vision is the first, second, and third most important thing. If you dare nothing, you should expect nothing.ā So whatever opportunity or obstacle youāre facing today, factor God in. With Him on your side, what youĀ haveĀ is always greater than whatever youĀ lack.
New Year Resolutions
āForgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Php 3:13 NKJV
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Be honest: How many of last yearās resolutions did you keep? They say, āProcrastination is the thief of time.ā We keep promising ourselves weāll do better. But āresolutionsā only happen when youāre āresolute.ā That means having a mind thatās made up. So here are four resolutions you need to make up your mind to keep this year:Ā (1) Take time for what really matters.Ā Get up earlier in order to read your Bible and pray before entering the day. Make more time for your family. Start exercising and eating right. Take better care of your body; itās Godās temple (See 1Co 6:19).Ā (2) Tackle one thing at a time.Ā Taking on too many things at once dilutes your focus and makes it harder to stick with things. When you start too much, you finish too little. So start where you are and build on your successes by mastering and maintaining one thing at a time.Ā (3) Start small.Ā Donāt try to swallow the whole enchilada in one bite; baby steps are the name of the game. Talk in terms of what youĀ willĀ do instead of what youĀ wonāt. For example, instead of saying, āIām not going to be so critical,ā try saying, āToday Iām going to look for something good in everyone I meetā (See Php 4:8).Ā (4) Record your progress or lack of it.Ā You canāt manage what you canāt measure. By facing the truth youāll see how far youāve come, and what you still need to work on. The Bible says, āThrow yourself into your tasks soā¦everyone will see your progressā (1Ti 4:15 NLT).
Instead Of Worrying, Pray
āDonāt worry about anything, but pray about everything.āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Php 4:6 CEV
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One Bible teacher writes: āThe pressures of our times have many of us caught in a web of the most acceptable, yet energy-draining sin in the Christian family: worry. Chances are good you woke up this morning, stepped out of bed, and before doing anything, strapped on your well-worn backpack of anxiety. You started the day not with a prayer on your mind, but loaded down by worry. What a dreadful habit! Jesus challenged His followers with the question, āWho of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?ā (Mt 6:27 NAS). Worry solves nothing. It creates unrest and uneasiness, and if left unchecked it can churn our waves of anxiety into a perfect storm of emotions. Add a little imagination and creativity, and our worst fears come to life in Technicolor brilliance. The stress from worry drains our energy and preoccupies our minds, stripping us of our peaceā¦We fret over big things and little things. Some of us have a laundry list of concerns that feed our addiction to worry. Itās a very unattractive addiction, yet we somehow manage to make a joke out of it. Iāve heard people say with a smile, āIf I donāt have something to worry about, I get worried about not having something to worry about.ā Anxiety has become a favorite pastime we love to hate. And worse, weāre passing it on to our children. As they see the worry on our faces and hear it from our lips, weāre mentoring them in the art of anxiety.ā So whatās the answer? āDonāt worry about anything, but pray about everything.ā
Strengthen Your Faith (2)
āPosition yourselves, stand still and see the [deliverance] of the Lord, who is with you.ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 2Ch 20:17 NKJV
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When you doubt God you disappoint Him, because He deserves better. So you must seek to strengthen your faith, because faith honors God and God honors faith. And He will send opportunities disguised as problems designed to strengthen your faith. When Job lost his health, his wealth, and his children, the Bible says he āfell to the ground and worshipedā (Job 1:20 NKJV). Job didnāt worship God because of his circumstances, but in spite of them. Notice the two things he did:Ā (1) He looked up.Ā He recognized Godās sovereign right to decide all things. He trusted Godās loving character and believed He would ultimately do what was best for him. And you must do that too!Ā (2) He listened for a word.Ā He realized this testing time was also a teaching time, so he declared, āHe knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as goldā (Job 23:10 NKJV). Like gold being processed by the refiner, Job trusted God to bring out the best in him. Was it easy to do? No. We want to cling to the familiar and return to the safety of yesterday, even though we know itās not what God wants for us. The fears, surprises, and adversity that lie around the bend make us want to cut and run. But if you do, youāll short-circuit Godās plan for your life. What should you do instead? Position yourself in faith: āStand still and see the [deliverance] of the Lord, who is with you.ā Whatever you are going through right now, remember that God is āwith you.ā