Do you get out of bed every day, plant your feet on the ground, and start getting things done?
Do you do it with intention?
If you take a minute, you’ll notice the happiest, most successful, and content people live a life of intention. But having an intention is not a magical force reserved for the special few. It implies little more than what you plan to bring about in your life – something I was about to do.
In the months after meeting my future wife, I realized an intention was emerging in my mind. With every passing day, that intention transformed into a goal. Soon, I had a plan along with a timeline. I became obsessed and was on a mission to succeed.
I had, as they say, “Good intentions.”
But, good intentions are rarely enough to get what you want. In my case, I knew where I was heading; Joi was only beginning to understand what was on my mind. That’s when she asked –
“So, Mr. Smith. What are your intentions, exactly?”
Without missing a beat, I said –
Over the years, I’ve learned there is one trait responsible for holding people back. While it lives at the front of your mind and affects everything you do, it is also invisible.
You are too vague in your vision.
When most people build a successful life, they often do so with a lack of clarity or precise vision of their future. They have a vague idea. The Universe kicks in gear, an opportunity arrives, and life is good and satisfying—until it’s not.
A day will come when you desire something more. You may find yourself stuck behind an obstacle of indecision and frustration. Confused, lacking direction, fearful, and seeking the motivation that will drive you forward. It will feel as if there is a cloudy haze over your future with no clear path to success—and no motivation to go for it.
But there is no need to worry.
Do you have long-held dreams and goals that you need a little motivation to get yourself moving?
Laura and I have worked together for over a decade on various projects. Her latest was a move from a long-time career into something she was in which she was more passionate. After several months, her dream transformed into a goal. The roadmap was in place. Action was the only thing needed to turn dreams into reality—then nothing happened.
Months passed by with little or no action. It seemed that life was always getting in the way of Laura’s dreams. When I asked what was going on, she said,
“Oh… I don’t know. I always seem to have something more important on my mind.”
That’s common, and what John Lennon meant when he said, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”
Over the years, I have found that people tend to ACT and DO what serves them best at the moment. All while dreaming and planning what they want.
When I was growing up, I was an energetic, enthusiastic, and excitable child. I never let a day go by without challenging something – usually with my mouth. Thanks to those responsible for turning me into a good person, I learned a valuable lesson when they said-
“Listen twice as much as you speak. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.”
You’ve heard that before, and in today’s fast-paced world, knowing when to put a zipper on your lips is critical. But, I’ve also learned to take that advice to a new level to get what I want. I call it doing “Dark.”
When you go “Dark,” you have chosen to listen to others less. Yes, you are still listening, caring, and interacting with those around you. You’ve decided to listen to yourself twice as much instead.
The world we live in today makes it seem as though it’s impossible to get what you want without others. There are endless hours of interacting, Googling, ZOOMing, Texting, and more.
There is a significant benefit of growing older and wiser, figuring out what works in most areas of life. The school of hard knocks is a great place to master most areas of life – including productivity.
I’m always amazed at how much time people fritter away deciding how to be more productive—always trying to keep up with their never-ending daily list of things. Eventually, though, we all learn that a good life will always offer more opportunities than you can ever use. The day will come when it becomes easier to focus on what’s important and yields consistent results.
I ran into that when I learned to fly little airplanes.
Aviation is over one hundred years old. That means new pilots experience information overload as their Instructor crams their brain full. And flying airplanes can be unforgiving when you get things wrong. That causes you to micro-focus on little details – especially when performing your Pre-Flight Checklist.
I woke up this morning with the realization that a life-changing event was looming in my future. I needed to wrap my head around the mindset adjustments I would need to make before changing my mind and running the other way.
All of us have made decisions in our lives, that if we did, would change our world overnight. Maybe you are heading off to school for the first time? Are you getting married after being single forever? Could it be accepting a new job in a strange town?
It doesn’t matter how excited you are. It doesn’t matter how well you have justified your upcoming change. It doesn’t matter how adventurous your spirit. Life-changing decisions can feel like Evil Knievel jumping the Snake River Canyon.
But, there’s one thing I know for sure –
Life is all about getting from where you are today to where you will be tomorrow. It’s the transformation from what you have to what you could have that excites growth in our lives.
I woke up this morning with the realization that a life-changing event was looming in my future. I needed to wrap my head around the mindset adjustments I would need to make before changing my mind and running the other way.
All of us have made decisions in our lives, that if we did, would change our world overnight. Maybe you are heading off to school for the first time? Are you getting married after being single forever? Could it be accepting a new job in a strange town?
It doesn’t matter how excited you are. It doesn’t matter how well you have justified your upcoming change. It doesn’t matter how adventurous your spirit. Life-changing decisions can feel like Evil Knievel jumping the Snake River Canyon.
But, there’s one thing I know for sure –
Life is all about getting from where you are today to where you will be tomorrow. It’s the transformation from what you have to what you could have that excites growth in our lives.
So, what is that uncomfortable feeling that you have in your gut?
You have big dreams, and you’ve set your goals. Filled with excitement and setting your fears aside, you are off and running toward your success, but it’s more complicated than you thought it would be.
What’s going on?
That’s the question that was on my client’s mind when I stopped by for a visit. His new business was growing but slower than expected. He was beginning to wonder if their dreams would come true. Stress was high, and time and money were running out.
Having seen these situations before, I decided to walk him through three questions that, while would have been better answered before starting the business, it wasn’t too late.
My first question was, “How long do you think it will take you to learn the skills required to succeed? Sales, Marketing, Customer Service, anything and everything needed to run a successful business. Everything takes time, and you need to be able to survive the learning time.
Many have said, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.”
But what happens when you find yourself doing both at the same time?
If you’ve been living on this planet for any length of time, you’ve figured out life is a long game made of day-to-day sprints.
If you want a big bank balance, you make small deposits over time.
If you want to lose weight, you make small reductions over time.
If you want to get a promotion at your job, you do well every day.
The challenge happens when you have not defined the marathon you are running. A lack of a specific goal can only lead to daily activity that may or may not get you to your destination. If that is happening to you, you may feel worn out, frustrated, and wondering when things will turn around.
There’s good news. That kind of thinking means that you are on the right track to success.
Certain stamina is required to reach any goal. And society today celebrates your ability to put in the hard work no matter what.
There’s only one problem.
Many have said, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.”
But what happens when you find yourself doing both at the same time?
If you’ve been living on this planet for any length of time, you’ve figured out life is a long game made of day-to-day sprints.
If you want a big bank balance, you make small deposits over time.
If you want to lose weight, you make small reductions over time.
If you want to get a promotion at your job, you do well every day.
The challenge happens when you have not defined the marathon you are running. A lack of a specific goal can only lead to daily activity that may or may not get you to your destination. If that is happening to you, you may feel worn out, frustrated, and wondering when things will turn around.
There’s good news. That kind of thinking means that you are on the right track to success.
Certain stamina is required to reach any goal. And society today celebrates your ability to put in the hard work no matter what.
When life gets in the way, it can be challenging to know what to do next. No matter how motivated you are to achieve your goal. Thinking like a Pilot can save the day when that happens.
A few years ago, I was a 150-hour pilot. I was flying a Cessna 172 to pick up my daughter for a weekend visit from the University of Florida – a trip I’ve made a dozen times. It had been an uneventful flight, then, about 15-minutes from landing, it happened…
Maybe it was the heat of the day or the drone of the engine. In any case, I had the sensation that I had no idea where I was. I could see the airport in front of me, so I wasn’t lost. But I had no idea how to get to where I wanted to go. It was a terrifying feeling.
Knowing I had to call with the Tower in minutes, I turned to my training and followed three rules that any pilot knows will get them back on track.
There are so many choices available to us in the world we live in today. It’s not only confusing; it can be paralyzing. Still, if you want to get what you want, you must decide and get moving.
Living on a farm, I interact with many folks who live on farms, too – usually at Tractor Supply. We’re constantly gathering in the isles for the solution to the problem we’re having. It turns out that there are no instruction manuals for farm living. I’ve learned that we all have one thing in common; there is always something to do and never enough time.
Having lived in suburbia most of my life, I know I’m not alone. It’s hard enough to keep up with the day-to-day, forget about making process toward your goals. Still, growing and moving forward is the fuel that drives us. What’s needed is a way to focus on what happens next.
When I met Jim in the aisle that day, he was trying to figure out where his focus should be the following day. My solution was to ask him the same questions in three different ways –
If you have ever found yourself motivated and excited to move toward a big goal, you may have wondered why you can’t get yourself moving.
It was a Saturday night in 1993, and I was hosting the 70’s Saturday Night on a radio station in Orlando. It was the number one show, and the phones were ringing with over 700 calls per night. One stopped me in my tracks –
Since it was a Saturday night, people were in a party mood and getting ready to head out for a night on the town. I answered the phone, and the first thing I asked was what they were doing?
“Oh… I’m fixin’ to get ready.”
Fixin’ to get ready? What the heck is fixin’ to get ready?
It happens to all of us.
We’re going about our day, hot on the trail of checking off items on our never-ending To-Do list. Then, we discover that we didn’t get everything done before time ran out.
When my Son was entering the workforce, we would often find time to catch up on weekends. He was trying to navigate the business world while balancing his life. He had an exceptionally fact-paced job and had become a productivity ninja. He was proud of his color-coded To-Do list and calendar, but he had a problem –
“Dad, no matter how organized I am, I still can’t get everything done. I writing everything down, and I’m working through it, and I still run out of time. What am I not doing right?”
My first thought was how happy I was that he had the clarity of mind to look beyond the obvious solution. Then, I had a few questions –
You say you have accounted for everything. How much time did you allocate for eating lunch or running down the coffee shop today?
How many times did you visit the restroom
Have you ever found yourself in a motivated state of mind and pushing through the day? Do you feel like everybody was hitting you with everything they have?
Blocked. Stalled. Frustrated. It easy to want to push harder.
When I was a teenager, I liked to play football. Not with the school team. Uniforms and protective equipment made that too easy. It was more fun to get together after school for a rough and tumble. A game of shirts and skins with the same guys who typically wear protective gear was much more fun.
One afternoon, in a particularly spirited game, though, I wasn’t having as much fun as I usually did.
My attitude that day was one of total domination. I arrived at the field of battle with the absolute intent of pushing are hard as possible and winning the day. The only problem was another player had the same intention. And he was knocking the crap out of me with every hike of the ball.
Another day will dawn. You will realize that a general and non-specific approach to your future is not the fuel that will power you. Being too vague doesn’t build a vision.
A time will come when you choose to be specific in your wants, needs, and desires. You will seek absolute clarity and turn your head away from anything the doesn’t provide a clear path. It may take time, but you will discover your first step. When you do, magic will happen.
On the day that you define what you want, vagueness will disappear. Your new focus will create excitement and will manifest into automatic motivation. You will move toward your new experience.
If you want something different in life, clearly and precisely express what that means to you. When you do, you will strike gold in time and will be off and running on your new adventure—automatically.
It’s an exhausting way to live, but you can set yourself free by asking yourself a simple question –
“How bad do I want it?”
Truthfully answering that question will do one of two things. It will propel you into action or have no impact at all. If you find yourself motivated and moving, all is well. If not, you have another question to ask –
“If I don’t want it that bad, should I drop it and move on?”
Everybody has ideas and dreams that enter their mind throughout their lives. The important tend to cause automatic forward action. Your life transforms, and everything begins to go in a new direction.
For the others, you may want to consider that it’s not as important to you as you thought. The best thing is to get your ego out of the way, scratch it off your list, and make room for something that excites you. When you do, incredible new opportunities that have been hiding from you for years will enter your life.
It’s as if we’ve lost permission to think and do for ourselves. We can’t move forward without the social approval of those around us when the exact opposite is true.
When you give yourself space to listen to yourself more, something extraordinary happens. Your creative mind and talents flourish—your positive energy rebounds. You feel more present and find more meaning in your life. Going “Dark” makes your life brighter, and then the good stuff happens.
When you take the time to slip away into your own space, you develop into the person you were meant to be.
Removing yourself from the buzz of the world gives you a new kind of energy. And you do it without anybody’s permission or without anybody knowing.
When you emerge, everybody will notice that you are different. They will listen when you speak, seek your advice, and be attracted to you in a new way.
Who knew that listening twice as much as you speak works even better when you listen to yourself twice as much as you listen to others?
One day, while walking to our airplane, I was freaking out. I was finding it impossible to remember the thousands of items that make for a safe flight. I remember saying –
“There is so much on my list, and I keep thinking I’m going to miss something and get myself hurt… or worse.”
My Instructor smiled…
“That’s not a list of everything you need to do. It’s a Checklist for what to do now. I like to think of it as my DID I DO IT LIST. That way, I’m only double-checking that I did the important stuff.”
Pure brilliance!
From that day forward, I embraced the “Did I Do It” philosophy in flying. It also became the mantra for how I go about getting things done.
Why does it work?
A “Did I Do It List” assumes that you already know what you must accomplish. All you have to do is make sure you’ve done it. It allows you to release the stress of information overload and enjoy yourself more. Plus, the serotonin boost you get from seeing how much you have accomplished feels great.
So, what is that uncomfortable feeling that you have in your gut?
Every one of us views ourselves as who we are on the inside—our identity. Since current life is real and the future not realized, feeling apprehensive is a natural response. What you need is a “Transitional Identity” to get you from today to tomorrow.
“I’ve always been a hometown person, and now I’m learning to become a citizen of the world.”
“I’ve always been single, but I’m becoming the best relationship person I can be. My future spouse deserves that.”
“I’ve never climbed this high on the corporate ladder, now I’m becoming the leader everybody deserves.”
Transitional Identities are a simple way to smooth the fear of heading into the unknown – even if it’s self-inflicted.
As your future becomes more real, your Transitional Identity will transition you into the new life, and you will become a new you.
Every one of us views ourselves as who we are on the inside—our identity. Since current life is real and the future not realized, feeling apprehensive is a natural response. What you need is a “Transitional Identity” to get you from today to tomorrow.
“I’ve always been a hometown person, and now I’m learning to become a citizen of the world.”
“I’ve always been single, but I’m becoming the best relationship person I can be. My future spouse deserves that.”
“I’ve never climbed this high on the corporate ladder, now I’m becoming the leader everybody deserves.”
Transitional Identities are a simple way to smooth the fear of heading into the unknown – even if it’s self-inflicted.
As your future becomes more real, your Transitional Identity will transition you into the new life, and you will become a new you.
Next, I wanted to know how long he was willing to churn and work at the goal. Was he committed for as long as it takes, or was there a set deadline? Building momentum in anything can be exhausting. How long can you keep going?
I saved the most important question for last.
How long will it take until you burn through your resources? Cash, credit lines, free rent on your building, favors given by friends and family. Knowing the answer to that question can be humbling and scary. It can also set you free.
After several hours of our learn, churn, and burn conversation, he was able to pinpoint exactly how long they had to reach their goal. With a definite timeline, the entire team focused their energy on the minimal viable actions that would achieve success and fit their schedule. Within months they reached their goal and have enjoyed a successful business every since.
Whether you own a business or not, any worthwhile project stands a far better chance of success when you are realistic about the process before you ever get started.
If it’s not working for you, it’s not sustainable behavior. Sooner or later, you will decide to make a change – usually abruptly.
Here’s the truth; you will change when you wear yourself out.
Reluctant, fearful, or hard-headed, you will only put up with a less than satisfying path in life for only so long. Eventually, when you wear yourself out.
When you’ve had enough, even if the timing is not perfect, you will change when you wear yourself out.
You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it.
So, what’s the fix?
The marathon we call life will continue until it doesn’t, and there are three things you can do to make it better.
The first is to define your destination with clarity.
Next, match your daily activity with your goals.
Finally, accept that if things don’t go your way, you’re going to change directions anyway.
You will change when you wear yourself out.
You may well skip the bad stuff, make an adjustment, and get to the good stuff right now. There’s no need to wait.
There’s only one problem.
If it’s not working for you, it’s not sustainable behavior. Sooner or later, you will decide to make a change – usually abruptly.
Here’s the truth; you will change when you wear yourself out.
Reluctant, fearful, or hard-headed, you will only put up with a less than satisfying path in life for only so long. Eventually, when you wear yourself out.
When you’ve had enough, even if the timing is not perfect, you will change when you wear yourself out.
You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it.
So, what’s the fix?
The marathon we call life will continue until it doesn’t, and there are three things you can do to make it better.
The first is to define your destination with clarity.
Next, match your daily activity with your goals.
Finally, accept that if things don’t go your way, you’re going to change directions anyway.
You will change when you wear yourself out.
You may well skip the bad stuff, make an adjustment, and get to the good stuff right now. There’s no need to wait.
The first is to continue to fly the airplane and stay safe. That may sound simple, but how many times have you wanted to cover your eyes and hide when things got challenging?
The second is to break through your confusion and figure out where you are on your journey. If you can keep yourself stable, you’ll have time to snap out of any momentary rough spot and get focused.
The third rule is to communicate with people who can help. With only a few minutes before entering the airspace illegally, I called Tower and said,
“I’m a low-hour pilot, a little South of the field, and am finding myself a little confused. There’s no emergency, but I could use some guidance.”
That simple commutation gave Air Traffic Control everything they needed. In minutes they lined me up with the runway, and I impressed them with a perfect landing.
“Not a bad landing for a lost pilot,” they said.
All I could do was laugh and be grateful.
Sure, my ego took a hit. But I learned a lesson, picked up my daughter, and had a great flight home.
Aviate. Navigate. Communicate. It’ll get you there every time.
What SHOULD you do that will lead directly and quickly to achieving your goal?
What CAN you do today that will lead directly and quickly to achieving your goal?
What MUST you do today that will lead directly and quickly to achieving your goal?
His answer made me laugh,
“Should? Can? Must? You don’t leave a guy any wiggle room, do you?”
No. I don’t. It’s a matter of how badly you want to make progress. If you wish to coast long, there’s no need to answer those questions.
“Well, we’re going out, and I have to get dressed up. I’m thinking about what I’m going to wear, if it’s clean, do I have to iron it, and will my date like it?”
Why don’t you throw on something that you know is ready to go and be done with it?
“I don’t know. I guess I have time to waste, so I’m wasting it.”
The truth shall set you free as it did for me.
At that moment, I realized how much time I spent thinking, pondering, questioning, researching, and worrying about plans.
My mentality was that as long as I showed up and did a good job, my dreams would come true. That wasn’t happening, and it was time to kick into gear.
As the years passed, I’ve worked with thousands of clients. The thing that separates those who get what they want from those who don’t is their ability to skip the fixin’ process. They go to the doin’ process as fast as possible.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t spend time thinking about your future. It would help if you had a roadmap laid out for any new adventure. However, it’s always better to get on the road and not idle in your driveway, wondering why you haven’t arrived.
, and how long did it take?
On your commute, how much time did you spend at the traffic lights?
I stopped.
“What does that have to do with my getting my work done?” he asked.
Nothing, but you still have to get that stuff done. And thanks for making my point.
What my Son had discovered is what I call “Non-Ops” — the non-optional things of life.
Non-Ops are a never-ending string of activities that require our attention. They never go away and suck up time without you even knowing. If you don’t account for the basics of life, you’ll never get to the big stuff of life.
After all, you can only go so long without eating, drinking, or sleeping – which makes everything else is the real optional things in life.
Play after play, we would crash into each other as much force as we could muster. Neither would back off. We kept hitting as hard as we could and inflicting more pain in a so-called fun game. Finally, in tears from my last pummeling, I said,
“Why are you hitting me so hard? Stop hurting me. We’re supposed to be having fun. Stop it!”
I’ll let you fill in the more colorful words, emphasis, and emotional craziness. I was in pain, frustrated, cold, and mad as hell. But that’s when my opponent made me realized something I had been missing. He said,
“Me hitting you? You’ve been bashing me all day. What did I do to you? Why are you hitting me so hard?”
The emotions of that moment and the lessons learned are still with me all these years later.
Sometimes when we get pumped and on a mission to achieve our goal, we get lost in our emotions. Not everybody is getting in your way. They are playing the same game, have the same goals, and are fighting to get what they want – like you.
After we realized what was going on, the game continued. This time it wasn’t about hurting each other. We stopped pushing too hard and played the best game we could to see who would come out on top.
For a few years, I spent my mornings reading and meditating before heading off to the gym. I got in better shape, but my bank balance was less, and my future goals were seemingly unreachable.
Then, one day out of pure frustration and sporting a brand-new I don’t give a heck attitude, I asked myself a question that changed everything –
“What’s the first thing I should do tomorrow morning that, if I do, will allow me to live a life of my design?”
Notice that I didn’t ask about work or what was on my to-do list. It didn’t have anything to do with getting more done or getting in better shape. I focused on the lifestyle I wanted to live – and it was life-changing.
In the years since I made that decision, I’ve started my days before 6 AM doing the most important thing I deem required to live the life of my choosing, and I’ve been happier for it.
I’ve also come across dozens of morning do-gooders who are getting everything done, except what they dream of doing, and when they realize it’s not their fault, everything changes. They got caught up in the buzz of life, and everyone does. But, the minute you choose to focus on YOU before anything else is when you start making real progress.
When you focus on what is important to you, you get what is important to you.