Churchill's Steps For Change
As we enter the New Year, I've noticed that people are returning to their old ways.
That's okay. It's a journey.
But what is that journey?
Winston Churchill said, "To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often."
And it helps if you understand the stages of change:
1) Pre-Contemplation. You may intend to act but must be made aware that your behavior is the problem.
2) Contemplation. You recognize the problem and start to debate the pros and cons of your actions.
3) Preparation. You intend to take action soon. You may even begin small steps.
4) Action. Making the specific changes required to create your new life begins.
5) Maintenance. Sustain your efforts for at least six months. You will likely achieve a life-long transformation.
6) Termination. You have zero temptation and are sure you will not return to your old unhealthy habits.
Winston Churchill said something else -
"For myself, I am an optimist — it does not seem to be much use being anything else."
Living in Default Mode
There is a myth floating around that life is more fun when you are spontaneous. That can be true some of the time, but not all of the time.
If you want to be happier, more successful, and make life easier, it’s time to live in Default Mode.
In other words, figure out what works and keep doing it.
Living in Default Mode makes life predictable for you and everybody around you. It limits decision-making and establishes continuity. It’s a behavior that reduces stress and improves happiness. And studies show that most people will default when a good option is readily available.
Of course, the default can be wrong, too. Bad habits should not be used in default mode. And some people claim that default mode means staying in your comfort zone and keeping you from stretching yourself. On that, I'm afraid I have to disagree.
My theory of Default Efficiency is simple: figuring out what works and doing it by default is easy, gets excellent results consistently, relieves you from decision fatigue, and allow you to stretch on your terms.
Living your life in Default Mode is the fastest way to reaching your goals - your way.
Succeeding The Lazy Way
I have an admission to make.
I can be a bit lazy. Yes, I also like to work harder than most people. Still, I'm lazy when doing things I don't want to be doing.
It's been said that when you do what you love, you will never work another day. Frankly, I've found it to be quite the opposite. What I do is difficult and takes a lot of time and effort. But I enjoy it.
Still, I'm lazy. I want everything to be easy, and I want it now. I'm not different than anybody else. I'm lazy. I'm driven. I'm lazy.
I made my point. And if you know me well, you may think I am not that lazy.
Oh yes, I am.
While it may take a long time to master the skill required to make things easy for myself, I'm willing to go through the hard work if it allows me to be lazy - eventually.
And do you know what the most remarkable thing about being lazy is?
Your initial hard work allows you to be lazy and makes what you do look easy to others. It's too bad for those working hard at being lazy, sleeping and binging Netflix when you were working hard to make everything easy — and being lazy.
Here's today's life lesson.
You can be successful and lazy. Just remember that it comes in that order. Successful, then lazy.
Say YES to Yourself More This Year
Do you ever wish you had a less complicated life?
Even if your job and life are overcomplicated out of necessity, like launching a rocket or performing brain surgery, you can still simplify everything.
How do you do it?
Your actions in your life and your job are probably not causing the overwhelm. It's the people and the results that are causing you to feel that way.
The easier way to under-complicate is to begin saying "No" to the arbitrary and unattainable demands of others and focus exclusively on the results you want.
Here are a couple of ideas:
1) Practice the law of "Good Enough." Perfectionism is overrated. It will waste years of productive time you could use to enjoy life. Set your standards and rise to them.
2) Get good at saying "No." Make that two-letter word your default answer for everything. And remember, sometimes, saying nothing at all gets the same result.
3) Remember that the only thing you must do in life is take a BREATH. Everything else is optional and self-inflicted.
Leonardo da Vinci said," Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
Why not show everybody how sophisticated you are?
4 Steps to Getting What You Want — and Keeping It.
Creating a difference in your life is a non-stop process that requires simple actions to help you get what you want. And it is, after all, about getting what you want and keeping what you love.
You’ll always go through these steps:
1) Decide. Everything begins with your decision to head off in a new direction. While sometimes you may feel like you’ve made a decision, if you’re not moving, you haven’t.
2) Define. Aimless wandering is fun when that’s what you’ve decided to do. Otherwise, it’s frustrating, exhausting, and takes place more than you think. When you define your path, you get to walk your path.
3) Deploy. As dull as the advice may be, putting your plan into action is the only way to get what you want. If you don’t deploy, you don’t get it.
4) Defend. After working hard to get what you want, you can guarantee that something or somebody will try to take away your results. That’s not good or bad. That’s life. When you find what you love, defend it so you never lose it.
Simple. I like simple. Simple works!
Questions Before You Begin Anything
Everybody has dreams. Daydreams, dreams while you sleep, and dreams of what you wish for the future.
I’ve always believed that dreams are goals you have nurtured to become real.
But how do you know if the voice speaking to your heart will lead you in the right direction?
Brant Pinvidic’s book, The 3-Minute Rule, has four questions that will help:
1) What is it? Do you understand precisely what you want?
2) How does it work? How will you go about reaching your goal? What will likely be the outcome?
3) Can you do it? Is your plan reasonable? Do you have the time, skills, and money?
4) Are you sure? Are you confident you can achieve your goal if you are willing to put in the effort?
Use these when something is holding you back. I promise. The clarity you are seeking is around the corner.
Morning Routines Power
One thing that I'm always going to do is refine my morning routine — it's a never-ending process.
You hear a lot about using morning rituals to get more done. But what if you could use your mornings to get more done for YOU?
In the fast-paced world we live in today, there seem to be two groups when it comes to how to use mornings—personal and productive. Once folks remove themselves from the craziness of jumping out of bed, taking care of the kids, and hitting the drive-through, they choose one of the two.
But what if there was a third group that was more satisfying?
Before I go on, I must admit that I was not a morning person and didn't like getting up early. I even quit my first couple of jobs as a morning radio host so I could sleep.
Later in my career, I would hit my desk at 5 AM and pound through my to-do list as fast as possible. I must have been saying, "I…MUST… GET… IT… DONE!" That didn't work well because I didn't see the purpose of getting out of bed early if it was only to work.
I spent my mornings reading and meditating for a few years before heading to the gym. I got in better shape, but my bank balance was less, and my future goals were seemingly unreachable.
Then, one day, out of pure frustration and sporting a brand-new I don't give a heck attitude, I asked myself a question that changed everything -
"What's the first thing I should do tomorrow morning that, if I do, will allow me to live a life of my design?"
I didn't ask about work or what was on my to-do list. It had nothing to do with getting more done or getting in better shape. I focused on the lifestyle I wanted to live - and it was life-changing.
In the years since I made that decision, I've started my days doing the most important thing I deem required to live the life of my choosing, and I've been happier for it.
I've also come across dozens of morning do-gooders who are getting everything done except what they dream of doing, and when they realize it's not their fault, everything changes. They get caught up in the buzz of life, and everyone does. But you start making real progress the minute you focus on YOU before anything else.
When you focus on what is important to you, you get what is important to you.
Jerry Seinfeld’s Success Secret
It’s the time of the year when I always remember the lesson I learned from Jeff Seinfeld.
I’ll never forget the day a friend called and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse - and I didn’t.
Rob was an event promotor who had snagged the chance to book an up-and-coming comedian, Jerry Seinfeld, into a local venue. He needed somebody to warm up the audience and introduce Jerry. I was all in when he agreed to cover my drink tab and let me hang out with Jerry before the show.
It was 1986, and Jerry’s television series about nothing was still developing. I know that because it’s what we talked about before the show. As he munched on veggies and sipped sparkling water, I’ll never forget how focused he was on getting what he wanted. Tired and worn out from living on the road, I asked how he managed to keep going. He said —
“I know exactly what I want. I’m a comedian, so I have to be funny. The only way to be funny is to write funny jokes. The only way to write funny jokes is to write every day. So, I write daily and put a big red “X” on the calendar. Eventually, there will be a chain of Xs on the calendar. My goal is not to break the chain.”
Then, in a very Seinfeld way, he screamed, “Don’t break the chain! That’s how you get what.”
Over the years, I’ve read that others have had the same conversation with Jerry. I’m guessing it was a rule of success that he practiced and shared often. I’m happy he shared it with me.
As we begin 2024, pick an action and do it every day until you get so good people notice. And, whatever you do, “Don’t break the chain!”
Your Purpose is to Find Your Purpose
This time of year most people are setting Big Ass Goals and working on the daily baby steps it takes to achieve those goals. It’s an activity that has proven effective ever since humans figured out that we are hard-wired to seek purpose in our lives.
Let’s pause for a light-hearted lecture, shall we?
If you are not setting goals that excite you and establishing small habits that make them a reality, you may as well skip into a Las Vegas casino and trust that the ‘house’ has your back and is setting you up for the big win.
I have news for you. That’s not their Purpose, so you better know yours.
But wait?
What if I don’t know my Purpose?
A long time ago, I realized that it was well beyond my pay grade to know somebody else’s purpose so I began giving this advice —
“If you don’t know your purpose, your purpose is to find your purpose.”
As simple as it sounds, it’s amazing how freeing it can be to realize that searching for what you want is living on purpose.
Psychologists define Purpose as a stable and generalized intention to accomplish something personally meaningful that simultaneously leads to productive engagement with some aspect of the world beyond the self.
What could be more meaningful than happily seeking your Purpose through daily activity?
Yes, maybe one day you’ll find the purpose you are seeking, or maybe, you’ve already found it. That’s something to consider, for sure.
Stoic Rules For a Happy Life
300 BC, political life was driving people crazy. To calm the masses, several schools of philosophy popped up.
Stoicism still resonates powerfully today.
1. Don't enslave yourself to annoying people.
2. Choose reasonable expectations.
3. Pre-meditate those expectations.
4. You are a mind operating a bag of chemicals you call a body.
5. Stop pretending you know that things are bad.
6. You were put here to reason, so use it already.
7. Life is NOT too short.
8. Feel your emotions like a Stoic would. They are your power.
9. Anger is a choice.
10. When it comes down to it, we are dogs tied to the back of a cart.
Sound wisdom never goes out of style.
Mapping: Your Success System
Wouldn’t having a plan to help you get what you want would be great?
What you need is M.A.P.S.S. - a system that gets thinking out of the way and focuses on actions in four areas:
Motivation: Everything begins with knowing ‘WHY’ you set your goals. Stay motivated.
Accountability: Being accountable and accepting responsibility for your results will empower your success.
Saying, ‘If it’s to be, it’s up to me,’ is a great way to get started.
Planning: Plan your work, work you plan. It’s simple. If you can’t plan it, you won’t be able to do it.
Systemization: The first steps of any worthy goal are difficult. As you get more comfortable with your process, lock in the actions and repeat them until you get what you want.
Sustainability: Everything takes longer than you think. Momentum is built in life by stacking your accomplishments sequentially. Make sure you set yourself up for the long haul.
The freedom you desire rests on a stable and repeatable foundation: Motivation, Accountability, Planning, Systemization, and Sustainability.
Thriving in Modern Times. It’s Easy.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard somebody say—
"If I knew I would live this long, I would have cared for myself better and saved more money."
True or true?
Modern times are exciting, and when it comes to living a long life, people either think life is too short or long. If you do things correctly, long enough is the best answer, but 200 years ago, most folks didn't have the luxury of thinking about things like that.
If you lived during those times, you lived at a slower and harder pace. And, since time is relative, your perception was also slower. Everything was slower. It would be like a two-week, off-the-grid vacation in a mountain cabin without your phone in modern times if you think about it. That used to be daily life.
Yes, living to the ripe old age of 40 felt like living to 100 today - if something simple didn't take you out sooner.
When California had open land, low-priced real estate, and gold in them-there-hills, almost everybody died much younger than today, usually from an exotic disease like a toothache.
If you lived a couple of centuries ago, a simple life meant simple goals:
Survive childhood.
Buy a horse.
Get married.
Buy another horse.
Build your first house on your 40-year-old Grandparents' property.
Get your kids through 5th grade so they can graduate to help you plow the field.
And if you were a planner, plant a tree on the hill as soon as you can so that it is big enough for your kids to bury you under when a toothache takes you out.
While it's easy to make fun of the old days, one thing rings true—
If you lived in the past, wondering what you would do next would never be an option.
Since you have that option, the question is, what are you going to do with it?
Building Your Bridge to Happiness
Changing something about your life is pretty straightforward.
Figure out what you want and change it.
Are you done laughing?
Most folks fall on the way to their dreams because they don't move, move at the wrong time, or move too fast.
That's why it's time to build your bridge once you know what you want.
Here's how:
1) Fortify your current foundation. Save money, pay bills, and do whatever it takes to build a firm and peaceful base.
2) Begin constructing the foundation for your new life. Go to school, network, research, and plan. Do everything in your power to ensure your success with no regret.
3) When you're ready, leave your past behind, cut off the old, and begin living your new life. Be patient. Wait until you are at least 70% ready to succeed before you cross to the other side.
Success arrives when you move from a solid TODAY for a stronger TOMORROW. Don't leap too soon, but don't delay, either.
Have you allowed yourself to become the person you are on the inside?
We all make decisions that change our life trajectory without much thought. That can lead to feelings of being lost on your life path.
Maybe it's time to create a new way of seeing yourself.
Using a Transitional Identity is a great way to feel confident when you can’t believe in your future.
The trick is to focus on the smaller steps to your destination. That will allow you to move away from who you are, yet not jump to who you want to be in one big step.
“I’m running a successful small business and laying the foundation for my empire. All I have to do is keep moving.”
“I’m a great student. Very soon, I will be a great teacher to others.
All I have to do is keep moving.”
“I’m incredible at losing 1 pound at a time. Soon, I’ll hit my goal and weigh 100 pounds. All I have to do is keep moving.”
Transitional Identities are temporary and ever-changing.
They are helpful when destinations are hard to see before you take your first step.
4 Steps to Getting What You Want — and Keeping It.
Author: Scott Smith - Motivation and Coaching
You Were Born to Do YOU
Can you imagine what might happen if you dared to think like your true self, act your true self, and share your true self?
That makes you smile - right?
Or maybe you feel that living from the inside out and being fully authentic with the world is self-centered, egotistical, and not how you should be.
Still, I bet you’re smiling, at least a little, at the thought.
You were born with two things that are yours, and you alone to use as you see fit - or not.
The first is Free Will, and without digging into the spiritual and scientific reasons, no matter what happens in your life, you are always doing things YOUR way.
Even if you feel that your destiny is pre-determined, you will do it YOUR way.
Imagine what would happen if you choose to do the things you love and do them your way.
You were also born with a Unique Ability that you don’t share with anybody else. It has always been there and will never leave you.
Imagine what would happen if you were to choose to use it in everything you do.
The next time you second-guess yourself, remember to ask yourself one simple question —
“What do you do when you’re doing YOU?”
When nobody is telling you what to do, when you’re on your own to fill your time, when you are making the rules, what do you like to do, and how do you want to do it?
It’s okay to be yourself. I promise that nobody is judging you. In fact, they are most likely waiting for you to show up.
Sometimes You Need to Be Someone Else
Author: Scott Smith - Motivation and Coaching