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Send your memes in the discussion group to get them featured. @basedschizophrenia
Christmas idea if you dislike your relatives and hate yourself
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I nearly just got robbed in a broad daylight in Manhattan
I was ordering a coffee in a Starbucks on Fifth Avenue
Menu at the counter said $4.90
I handed the barista a $5 bill
She said "umm sir that'll be $5.91"
I raised my eyebrow
Did that blue-haired, weirdly looking obese woman try to scam me?
"The menu says $4.90" I said
"Yes, plus tax"
I felt my blood pressure rising
"So the price on the menu isn't the actual price?"
"It is but there is also a sales tax--"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing
I pulled out my phone to call the Federal Trade Commission to report false advertising
Unfortunately I did not purchase roaming feature in my German-made Android phone, so the call did not go through
Suddenly a Wall Street guy in a Patagonia vest pushed past me, tossed a $20 on the counter
"I got this loser's coffee, keep the change"
Now I was even more disturbed
I legally just received a gift
Personal donations over €50 require reporting in the EU
I asked the barista for the guy's name for my tax filing
She said "bro I don't know who that was just go away"
I took a photo of the receipt as documentation
I called my representative at the German tax authority who said I must declare this coffee right after I'm back in Europe
I got on the Lufthansa flight to Munich the same day
Americans have normalized financial deception so deeply they think transparency is confusing
Europeans, as usual, lead the global civilization
eurofounder / 𝕏
Their army so well disciplined they stand balls aligned
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3aCTNvAmF0
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How to avoid heat seeking missles
The musical
🇺🇸🇪🇺 - Elon Musk endorsed the view that the EU is the Fourth Reich.
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Based Estonia 💪🏻🇪🇪 Chinks must understand who is the boss
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🇫🇮 - Left-wing Finnish politicians invented an anti-rape dance that they suggest to perform when women want to repel sexual attackers.
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Clear example: If you're strong appear weak, if you're weak appear strong
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Just had coffee with my old university friend Marcus
He just got promoted to Senior Managing Director at Deutsche Bank
After 14 years at the company he was almost shaking with excitement
I asked about his salary raise
He whispered "€47,000"
I nearly dropped my tiny espresso cup made out of recyclable paper
I said "Marcus that's insane, what will you do with all that money?"
He said he's thinking about finally buying a used Skoda
Maybe even the 2019 model
He admitted his colleague in the US office laughed as he makes $340,000 for the same position
"But it's vulgar to compare to Americans. Also, he must be doing something dodgy as nobody is allowed to make that money legally"
I nodded gravely
We ordered another coffee to celebrate
He said he's paying
Big spender. I hope he stays humble with his new salary.
Never been more bullish on Europe
eurofounder / 𝕏
bro: I dont have brain rot
>meanwhile what bro sends me at 2am
In germany its extremely taboo to raise your arm up at a 45 degree angle. This is because it is said to invoke an ancient evil spirit known as "Hitler"
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