Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. –Mark Twain
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Joke Time⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars.
So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars,The blonde then asks him, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars.
Then lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is the answer?" The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and paid the lawyer five dollars!!!
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Think Positive ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
Stop trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change. Stop giving chances to someone who abuses your forgiveness. Stop walking back to the place where your heart ran from. Stop trusting their words and ignoring their action. Stop giving your all to a person who gives you nothing. Stop fighting for a RELATIONSHIP when you’re standing in the ring alone. Stop breaking your own heart.
- Trent Shelton.
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Joke Time⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
A little girl Story
A little girl asked her father
"How did the human race appear?"
The Father answered "God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so all mankind was
made"
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered
"Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl went back to her father and said " Daddy, how is it possible that you told me
human race was created God and Mommy said they developed from monkeys?"
The father answered "Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and
your mother told you about her."
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️😂 Joke Time 😂⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address and without realizing his error he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.After reading the first message she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached
Date: 2 May 2006
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I’ve just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!
Your loving hubby.
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️😂 Joke Time 😂⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn in the road. The farmer who lived nearby came to see what had happened. " hey boy " , he called out, " forget your trouble for a moment and come on in and have dinner with us. Then i will help you get the wagon up."
" that is very nice of you", the boy answered , "But i don't think Pa would like me to do it."
"Oh, come on, son," the farmer insisted. "Well, okey," the boy finally agreed. "But pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner , the boy thanked his host. " I feel a lot better now , but i know pa is going to be upset."
" I don't think so," said the neighbour . " By the way, Where is your pa?"
" He is under the wagon."
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️😂 Joke Time 😂⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
Bank Robbing
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him in the temple , killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, 'Did you see me rob this
bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!'
Moral - When Opportunity knocks.... MAKE USE OF IT!
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️😂 Joke Time 😂⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
Ticket Please
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all Three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants see this and agree it is quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers buy no tickets at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.(@englishworld) When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket please.”
@englishworld