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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enfriends/ ____________________________ @Englishworld Group: @advancedchat
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Joke Time⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, ugly old lady moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady walked between them into a small room.
The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother!"
@englishworld
Sometimes I want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard. You're going to be OK. Here's a coffee. And 5 million dollars.
@englishworld
Remember that...
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemies but remember their name.
3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk!
@englishworld
✳️ CHRIS DE BURGH
✅ "Saint Peter's Gate"
✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️
I was lost in the dark,
And the fear was in my heart,
All around me the forest and the rain,
Then with the flash of a light, I saw it in the night,
I must be getting near - Saint Peter's Gate!
When I went through the door, he was standing in the hall,
An old man with a beard of shining white,
He said "I've been expecting you, let me show you to your room",
And he took me all the way by candlelight,
And lying there on the bed, a book, black & red,
My name was written on the front in gold,
And when I opened it up, there were pictures of my life,
And a voice began to call from down below;
Nobody will get through, nobody,
Not even you, can escape the Judgement Day,
Nobody will be spared, Heaven is only there,
For the ones who satisfy them at - Saint Peter's Gate.
"Come with me" said that old man, as he took me by the hand
"There is someone here that you have seen before,
In this room on the left, a man who did his best,
To bring joy and happiness to one and all;
But in that room on the right, a dictator in life,
We've been waiting for him here,as you can tell,
For all the blood he's spilled,
And for all the ones he's killed,
We condemn him to eternity in hell;
Nobody will get through, Nobody,
Not even you, can escape the Judgement Day,
Nobody will be spared,Heaven is only there,
For the ones who satisfy them at - Saint Peter's Gate.
I woke up with the dawn, there was someone in my room,
A woman, like an angel all in white,
And then she told me "You must run, for your time has yet to come,
Go now, before they change their minds",
And from the window I saw,
A thousand or more,
Bringing that dictator to his knees,
And his cries broke the sound,
Of my footsteps on the ground,
As I made it to the safety of the trees:
Nobody will get through,
Nobody not even you,
Can escape the judgement day,
Nobody will be spared,
Heaven is only there,
For the ones who satisfy them at...
Saint Peters Gate.
Nobody will get through,
Nobody not even you,
Can escape the judgement day,
Nobody will be spared,
Heaven is only there,
For the ones who satisfy them at,
St Peters Gate.
✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Joke Time⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
Today I went to a restaurant which had free WIFI service. So I asked for the password. The waitress told me "eat first".
So I placed my order. After eating, I asked again for the password and again she told me "eat first". Feeling frustrated, I ordered a black coffee. After drinking, I asked for the password one more time and was told "eat first".
Angrily I walked over to the restaurant manager and asked for the password.
He replied "eat first".
Before I explode, I saw a sign post: WIFI password "eat first"!
@englishworld
Happiness starts with a smile.
What are you waiting for?
@englishworld
Roller Coasters May Help Pass Kidney Stones
Researchers at Michigan State University grew curious about the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coaster at Walt Disney World in Florida after a number of patients claimed to have passed kidney stones after riding it. They decided to test it using a 3-D-printed model of a kidney; the forces exerted by the ride did cause mock stones of all sizes to pass. Sufferers who enjoy roller coasters might find them worth a try, the lead researcher says.
@englishworld
Heal your pains through pressure points in your palms...
@englishworld
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Joke Time⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
A little girl asked her father
"How did the human race appear?"
The Father answered "God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so all mankind was
made"
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered
"Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl went back to her father and said " Daddy, how is it possible that you told me
human race was created by God and Mommy said they developed from monkeys?"
The father answered "Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and
your mother told you about her!!"
@englishworld
Did you know that even electricity pylons exercise?!
@englishworld