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Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine, eight, seven...!"
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Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open.
Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.”
15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone!”
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If a guy remembers the colour of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs!
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Death could be just a few seconds away.
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It is where the Gulf of Alaska meets the Pacific Ocean
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A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains.
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The instructions say he can also bring one friend.
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But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!”
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"Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”
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A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
The dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. But see your friend over there? He is also my son. That's confidential."
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The best method for staying in shape!
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A few things you can do with your iron
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living a life of luxury... with a bodyguard immediately available!
more video & funny stuff:
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