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A Quote Motivates You, Inspires You, Gives You Will. But The Work Have To Be Done By You. Audiobook , E-Book,Entrepreneur Magazine - every Week You Can Do It, Keep Moving Forward.🖤
#Dailymotivation
Positive and realistic
📍"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
Being positive about your prospects will improve your prospects. You’ll be more energetic, more persistent, more effective.
A positive perspective might be justified, or it might not be. In either case, it’s the best choice.
Being positive does not mean you must deny that negative factors exist. Rather, it means you commit yourself to successfully working through those negative influences.
You’ll encounter plenty of challenges pushing back against your efforts. Don’t let your own outlook be one of those challenges.
Though negativity might be the most obvious reaction, it is not in your best interest. You can always choose to be both positive and realistic.
Give yourself the advantage of a positive perspective. No matter how difficult the situation, being positive will put you in the best position to deal with it.
For updates and contact here is my help account Sir ℳarita - highly recommend.
#LifestyleEA
The True Cost of a Tattoo
📍Apparently, placing a tattoo in a visible area has both economic and social consequences. In particular, research suggests that a visible tattoo can affect employment opportunities.
Historically, tattoos have been associated with society’s out-groups and fringe elements, including bikers, prisoners, circus performers, gang members and punk rockers. These individuals (or groups) used tattoos to symbolize various things, such as rejection of mainstream society, physical strength, aggression, ownership of their bodies in an overcommercialized society, affiliation with a group,
religious beliefs and so forth. Despite such personal intentions, however, research suggests that people with tattoos are not more aggressive, rebellious and so forth.
In recent years, lots of people from all walks of life have been getting tattoos, and in a general sense, body modifications, including tattoos, have gained more acceptance among members of the general public. Nearly 36 percent of Americans between 18 and 25 have at least one tattoo, and 40 percent of Americans sport one or more tattoos. Despite more and more people getting inked, however, discrimination against tattoos—in particular, those that are situated in visible areas like the face, neck and wrist—is alive and well.
Dishearteningly, many people view those with tattoos as lacking good judgment, deviant, sexually promiscuous, self destructive, dependent on drugs, dangerous, uneducated and having low self-worth. Furthermore, research also shows that women with tattoos are viewed worse than men with tattoos, a slight that is doubly discriminatory.
It should probably come as no surprise that people with visible tattoos are discriminated against in the labor market. Various other aspects of physical appearance have been shown to influence hiring, firing and promotion, including height, subjective assessments of
beauty, a person’s natural features, grooming and clothing choices. Potential employers either have a direct preference for certain characteristics or associate such characteristics with productivity.
Here are some research findings from various studies that point to such discrimination against people with visible tattoos:
📍Miller, Nicols and Eure have shown that employees view colleagues with facial tattoos and piercings as less suitable for work that requires interaction with a customer.
📍According to Swanger, 87 percent of surveyed employers in the hospitality industry report that visible body modification is perceived negatively.
📍Ligos found that 77 percent of managers believe that sales people with visible tattoos have a harder time making sales (“closing”) than do those without visible tattoos.
📍Brallier and colleagues found that restaurant mangers prefer to hire people without visible tattoos. Moreover, non-tattooed women are perceived by these managers as more employable than either tattooed men or women; whereas, non-tattooed men are not perceived as more employable than tattooed men or tattooed women.
📍In an IZA (Institute for the Study of Labor) discussion paper, researchers suggest that employment status of those with visible tattoos is more vulnerable. In other words, although a person who has a job and then gets a visible tattoo may not lose her job outright, if she does lose her job for whatever reason in the future, it may be harder to get rehired somewhere else.
It seems that a lot of the data concerning visible tattoos and employment opportunities points to management’s trepidation to place a salesperson with a visible tattoo in contact with a client for
fear of lost sales. As consumers, we should take these findings to heart and look within ourselves to examine whether we discriminate others based on the presence of visible tattoos. After all, the research shows that the person selling the watch, car or candy bar is likely to be equally qualified in all respects to any other salesperson without a hand tattoo, neck tattoo, face tattoo or so forth.
#DailymoticationEA
Active Participation
"Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters."
🌱Don’t let this be a time you look back on with regret for not doing more. Make this a day you recall with satisfaction for all you were able to do.
Even if you don’t particularly feel like making the effort, you can make the effort nonetheless. Even if a dozen obstacles stand in your way, you can step forward and make progress.
Fill the moments with effective action, not lame excuses. Today will only be available to you today, so use it while you can.
Demonstrate your gratitude for the life you treasure by doing something valuable with it. Express your love for all you care about by offering your active support.
You are here right now with knowledge, skills, resources, energy, and a desire to matter. Give yourself and your world something to show for it all.
Your future begins in this moment. Fill it with meaningful richness through your active participation.
💡 You can always reach me through E'Support
#HealthEA
What Do The Shape of Your Eyes Reveal About Your Personality?
✍Traditional Chinese Medicine uses ancient techniques in order to gather information about one’s personality, health, and even relationships using the shape of one’s eye. The shape of your eyes can reveal more about your personality than you might think, and cultures all over the world seem to believe in this type of science.
While to some people, eyes look like nothing more than colorful balls that allow them to see the world, but to others, eyes truly reflect one’s soul. Below, we will go over what the size, shape, color, slant, and even distance between the eyes reveals about your personality.
SIZE
If you have relatively large eyes, this means you have passion, receptiveness, openness, and creativity in your personality. You feel emotions very deeply, and go through life riding on the waves of your passion rather than looking at things through a more logical manner. You can sometimes trust people too easily, so make sure you size them up accordingly before giving your whole heart (and maybe life story) away.
If you have small eyes, you look at the world through a more logical, analytical lens. You believe in focus, precision, accuracy, and logic. You have high intelligence, and people come to you for answers about complicated things all the time. You pay attention to details rather than the bigger picture. Although many people might regard you as cold, they don’t realize that you do have emotions; you just don’t let yourself become carried away by them.
SHAPE
If you have almond-shaped eyes, then you have a certain mystique and exotic flair. You have great compassion for others, and have the ability to remain calm in almost any situation. However, you can also let your wary nature keep you from doing fun things in life, so remember to sometimes take chances and not think about the details so much. You also are very observant, and have a balanced outlook on life. You have a warmth about you that just makes people want to get to know you.
Round eyes mark great creativity and imagination, and you often escape reality by going inside your mind. You tend to let your emotions run the show, and make decisions based upon them. You’re an idealist through and through, which makes others see you as impractical and moody. You also have a certain charm about you which attracts others to you, even if you can seem a bit blunt and tactless at times.
DISTANCE
People with close-set eyes often follow traditions, and have a keen interest in history and cultures. Their values and upbringing mean a lot to them, and they have a hard time living in a world that often forgets about culture. They don’t do well with change, obviously, which can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. They like structure, discipline, and detail, and have incredible focus. They have a resistant nature as well, which makes it hard for them to go with the flow.
Wide-set eyes mean basically the opposite – you love to explore all that life has to offer, and let nothing hold you back. You know your past, but don’t let it define you. You have eyes that see a little too far, that take you to uncharted territory and allow you to see more of the world than most people. You hate routines and inflexibility, and often wander aimlessly just to have an adventure. You are spontaneous, innovative, and fearless.
If your eyes fall somewhere in the middle of these two categories, then you have a balanced approach to life.
PROMINENT OR DEEP-SET
Prominent eyes look as though they bulge out, and protrude from the eye socket. On the other hand, deep-set eyes have a more sunken appearance.
People with prominent eyes have great sensitivity and a friendly nature, but they tend to worry a lot. They like to stick with a close group of friends and family, as their warm-hearted nature makes it easy for them to maintain close relationships. They tend to lean toward pessimism, although most people find them highly approachable and relatable.
o end things, let him go. If she intimates she has feelings for someone else, try not to make a scene or create a huge drama. Don't gossip or trash him or her with your friends and family.
* Allow yourself to go through the stages of grief I mentioned earlier. You can't rush yourself through the healing process, especially if the relationship lasted several years or you were living together. You don't have to be superman or woman. It's OK to cry, to be angry and hurt, and to feel confusion.
* If your ex hasn't blocked you on your phone or social media, do it first. Yes, you will be tempted many times a day to call, text, or see pics of him with his new love -- but make it really difficult for that to happen. You'll only make yourself more miserable if you stalk.
* At first you may be in such painful shock that you can't do anything except stay home and nurse your wounds. But push yourself to be around supportive friends and family. Try to stay busy with activities to keep your mind engaged and that you enjoy. Don't spend too much time alone with your negative thoughts.
* Look for the same lessons from your experience with this person. What did you learn? What would you change? How have you grown? You can take all of this information into your next relationship to ensure you choose the right person and to make sure you are the person you want to be in a relationship.
In addition to these strategies, you'll want to consider the following:
Exercise.
Nothing relieves stress, anxiety, and depression like good old-fashioned exercise -- especially aerobic exercise. Go out and run, take a fitness class, jump on a rebounder, play basketball.
Do anything to get your heart rate up and your body moving and sweating.
Work on your self-esteem.
You may feel jilted and unlovable after a breakup. Why didn't this person want me? What's wrong with me that he/she didn't stay?
Whatever the reason for the breakup, if the relationship wasn't working for one of you, then it wasn't working for both of you. You can't maintain a satisfying, happy connection unless both partners are equally committed.
Dating is a process of discovery. It takes time to figure out whether or not two people are meant to be together for the long term. He or she found you to be wonderful and compatible for a period of time, but ultimately something didn't mesh.
That's not an indictment of your character or your lovability.
Don't allow yourself to sink into negative self-talk and self-doubt. The mature way to respond is to acknowledge that things simply didn't work out with this person, but there is someone out there (or many someones) who is the right match for you.
Address any legitimate issues.
If your partner broke up with you because of a legitimate issue (ie: verbally abusive language, cheating, anger management problems), this is a great time to explore and work on the issue.
No one is perfect in relationships. We all bring in baggage from past loves, old wounds, and childhood experiences. Our love relationships are the places where we attempt to heal all of that baggage. But sometimes we don't express our wounds in the healthiest ways.
Think about the issue or complaint your ex communicated as a reason for the split, and examine for yourself if there is any truth in it. Be open to acknowledging what you need to change in order to be a healthier partner in your next relationship.
This might involve counseling, coaching, or reading self-improvement books that focus on the issue.
Date with caution.
You may have friends and family encouraging you to jump back into the dating scene. It certainly can help your self-esteem to have someone new show interest and attraction to you.
However, if you've recently been through a breakup, you are still dealing with so many emotions -- emotions that you will carry into any[...]
Live Bold and Bloom
How To Get Over A Breakup Like A Grown-Up
It's like the air has been punched out of you.
Even if you saw it coming.
Even if you initiated it.
Breaking up with your romantic partner is one of the most painful life experiences you'll ever have.
The longer the relationship and the more intertwined your lives have become, the more agonizing the pain.
You loved this person. You had hopes and dreams about your future together. He or she was your companion, confidante, and lover.
There is a chemical bond that occurs between two people who are romantically connected, and it's hard to dissolve that -- even if it's the best thing for both of you.
If you initiated the breakup, you might feel guilt, confusion, sadness, anger, regret, and loneliness. You might also feel a huge sense of relief if the relationship was going south, but even the relief is tinged with grief.
Most healthy-minded, compassionate people don't enjoy causing pain to someone they care about.
If you were the one broken up with, well, you may just want to go crawl in a hole and die. It feels like an assault to your very being.
You might wonder, "Am I not lovable? Am I not desirable? What's wrong with me that he/she doesn't want to be with me anymore?"
You will likely go through the typical five stages of grief and loss:
1. Denial and isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Loss is a natural part of life, and even thought it is incredibly painful, it can teach us many lessons if we choose to accept them.
It's hard to see those lessons during the initial tsunami of emotions that come with splitting up. But once the emotional chaos calms a little, you'll do yourself a favor by approaching this painful life passage with mindfulness. Here are some ideas on how to get over a breakup maturely: For The Initiator
If you are the initiator of the breakup, you may have an easier time of it.
If you have met someone new, you have a soft landing pad that distracts you from the end of your previous relationship and gives you something exciting to look forward to.
Or if you've experienced pain, frustration, or conflict in the relationship, or you've simply a come to the realization that the romance has run it's course, breaking up may feel like the best and most obvious decision for your life.
Here are some things to consider:
Break up the way you'd want to be broken up with.
Would you want the person you love to send you a text or email saying goodbye?
Would you want them to pack up and leave before explaining what's going on?
Would you want them to initiate an argument so they'd have a good "reason" to slam out of the door?
Breakups can happen during or after a big fight when tempers are hot and hurtful words can be hurled all too easily. But this is no way to end a relationship with someone you loved and still care about on some level.
Even if he or she has given you good reason to end things, end them with dignity and kindness. Have a personal, face-to-face conversation (yes it will be uncomfortable and painful) to express your feelings clearly and kindly.
Try to communicate your reasons for the breakup without resorting to insults, shaming, or lies.
* If you are leaving because you met someone else, be gently honest about it, as your former love will find out anyway. You might say something like, "This is hard to say, but I've met someone I'm attracted to, and it would be unfair to you if I remained in our relationship when I have feelings for someone else."
* If you are leaving because you've lost romantic feelings for your partner, you might say, "I care about you very much, but I don't see a long-term future in our relationship. I want to give us both the opportun[...]
#positivelivingEA
How the Wrong Mantra Can Ruin Everything
📍Growing up, “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger” was a common motto in our family. On the surface, this saying has a motivating and inspiring quality to it. But, dig a little deeper, and it also has a dangerous double-meaning.
Whenever life got tough, my family willingly accepted any challenge. When life got even tougher, we kept quiet and pushed through it. We didn’t talk much about our feelings, and working harder was the chosen antidote for almost anything that might ail you.
I carried this motto around with me for years. It’s likely what made me such a persistent and goal-driven person. It’s also, undoubtedly, part of what made me an injury-prone distance runner for the better part of two decades.
Determined to face every challenge, I ran through several significant injuries over the years and caused new injuries in the process by over-training. Eventually, it got the better of me.
Subscribing to the wrong mantra spelled trouble.
In 2010, I ran a half-marathon with a herniated disc and seriously strained my iliotibial band due to the modified gait I’d adopted to compensate for my pain. Two weeks later, I ran another half-marathon and barely made it to the finish line. Another two weeks later, I ran two races–back to back–in a twenty-four hour window and lost the feeling in my lower legs for a couple of days. A month after that, while doing chores around the house, my back went into a spasm that left me unable to move or even call for help for several hours.
As I laid face down on my living room floor in pain, I finally realized how the message I was using to drive myself was simultaneously undermining everything that I wanted. I decided it was time to make a change.
In our lives, like in our bodies, pain is an indicator that there’s something going on that we should pay attention to.
Sometimes that pain is a function of growth and not necessarily harmful–when handled properly. But it’s never meant to be the throwing down of the gauntlet and an invitation for self-abuse. It’s never something that we should try to cover up, ignore, or run from.
My mantra had done more than motivate me to accomplish challenges. It also taught me to bury my feelings and hide my hurting because toughing things out meant that I was strong, and anything less meant that I was weak.
But in life, there are moments when we just need to take a seat on the curb for a bit and acknowledge that what we’re going through is really hard.
Sometimes it just knocks us down and hurts like hell. Sometimes, we are broken. It’s appropriate and, yes, HEALTHY to feel those struggles.
When we try to numb out our hurting–be it through denial, medication, various forms of addiction, or sheer willpower–we find ourselves in the midst of even more struggle in life. Putting on armor to avoid any possibility of emotional exposure never makes us feel better for very long. This behavior launches us into a vicious cycle that can spiral out of control in little time and damage the very roots of life’s joys.
Unless you never strive for anything in your life, struggle and hurt is simply unavoidable.
And, anyway, developing strength in life is not about avoiding or covering up pain. It’s about what we do with our pain. Pain is energy, and energy cannot be created nor destroyed–only transformed.
If you do not transform your hurting, it will transform you and, often, those around you.
Pain that has been ignored has the power to both eat you alive, and be manifested into toxic packages of projectile blame, anger and hate that pollute the world around you.
I think it’s time for us, as a community, to stop hiding hurt and running from struggle because we think it makes us look stronger. Instead of labeling our feelings as “good” or “bad”, let’s embrace that all of our emotions are valid and exist for a reason. Let’s start celebrating those who have the courage to ask for help instead of pitying them, or worse, shaming them for not toughing it out alone.
#mindfulnessEA
3 Simple Habits for Daily Mindfulness
📍“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
Buddha
“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn
One of the most common habits that make life miserable is to not be where you are.
What do I mean by that?
That your body is right here, right now. But that your thoughts are elsewhere in time and space.
They are in the past, reliving an old, painful memory. Or replaying an argument – that you still want to win – for the hundredth time.
Or your thoughts are in a possible future. Worried and stressed about what may happen at work or in your relationship. Or trying to plan for every possible scenario and through that hoping to fully control the future.
And the more time you spend in the future or past, the more you – in my experience – tend to also:
💡 Be ineffective. Making decisions becomes very hard if you second-guess yourself all the time or become paralyzed by all the possible outcomes. And overthinking zaps so much energy that you lose motivation to take action.
💡 Miss life as it happens. If you are not fully here in this moment then it is very easy to miss and to not fully enjoy a victory or simply a beautiful, fun or small moment in life.
Maybe you cannot spend all of your time in the now. Because there are things you can learn from reexamining your past. And there are things you sometimes need to plan for in your future.
But the kind of obsessive or addictive way to spend so much time in a regular week in the past or future can be replaced with something smarter, more helpful and happiness-friendly.
Three habits that have helped me a lot to make that shift into being much more mindful are to:
1. Slow down.
Start your day with doing whatever you do first in your morning slowly.
This will make it easier and more natural to keep a slower pace and to focus fully on what you are doing for the rest of your morning. And starting your day in this way will often prevent you from going into your own most common thought loops that cause worry, anger or sadness.
Plus, doing something in a calm and relaxed manner is often the quickest way to do something well.
And you can of course slow down what you are doing at any time during your day to get your mind back to what your body is doing.
2. Tell yourself: Now I am…
I often tell myself this silently in my mind: Now I am X.
And X could be that I am brushing my teeth. Doing the dishes. Taking a walk and listening to the sounds around me.
Just reminding myself of this helps my mind to stop wandering and it brings my focus back to just that one thing I am doing right now and nothing else.
3. Disrupt your thoughts + quickly reconnect with the here and now.
If you are a regular reader then you know that I like to use a stop-word or phrase to silence the inner critic.
This works well for getting back to the present moment too.
When you catch yourself going somewhere else in the past or future with your thoughts then – in your mind – shout: STOP!
Or: No, no, no, we are not going down that road again!
Then, right away after you have disrupted those thoughts find your way back to the present moment by either focusing only on what is going on around you right now with all your senses – the sights, the sounds, the smells and so on – or by focusing 100% on your breaths going in and out of your body.
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#dailymotivationEA
Do what is best
📍"A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty."
What do you do when you feel like nothing you do is appreciated? Continue with what you know is best, for even when no one else seems to care, it matters that you care.
Don’t let anyone steal your values or your self esteem. Do what you know is best, no matter what response you get.
If you think no one notices, you’re mistaken. You notice, and that makes an enormous difference.
The purpose of doing good is not to look good, not to impress anyone. Do what is right because it is right, and feel the inner peace, the inner strength it brings.
Ultimately, integrity wins. Truth and goodness cannot be denied for long.
Do what is best, but not for show. Do what is right, what is best, because your precious life deserves nothing less from you.
#fitnessEA
Make Fitness Your New Way Of Life
📍You need to take care of your yourself, no matter how old you are. There are many tell-tale signs that indicate your overall level of health. Your fitness level is extremely important to your health. Here are some tips to help you establish a good fitness routine.
When working out some soreness is normal, but pain is not. Working out is often uncomfortable as you are working to increase your endurance and limits; however, it should not be outright painful. If you ever experience severe pain when working out, stop what you are doing immediately. If the pain does not subside, head to the doctor, as you may have suffered an injury.
A tricep pushdown is an effective exercise to tone your triceps. It is important to perform this exercise correctly though. Your palms need to face your thighs. This will put less stress on your elbow joint. Do not let your palms face the floor putting unneeded stress on your elbows.
A 24-hour gym can be a useful ally in the fight for total fitness. While establishing a consistent exercise routine is a good thing, what if the would-be fitness maven’s schedule dictates that the only time he or she has to work out is at two A.M.? Locating an always-open gym helps exercisers work on unusual schedules without sacrificing their fitness goals.
When doing squats, don’t rest the bar on your neck. Resting it on your neck will make the entire weight press on your spine which will make muscle and spinal injuries more possible. Hold the bar as low as possible on your shoulders, this will help save your neck.
Only use weight belts for large muscle lift workouts. In these special cases, weight belts can actually help you to perform better, by helping to properly distribute weight and give you the center of balance that you need to be stronger. Weight belts can help reduce injury when weight lifting, because of the assistance they provide with balance.
Making exercise a priority is one of the main ingredients of a successful exercise program. It is just too easy to rationalize putting exercise off. When one thinks about it as there being numerous tasks we have to complete during the day and we can always exercise afterwards, this results in exercise being put off indefinitely and a failed program.
If you plan on working out for more than 90 minutes, you need to to eat an appropriate meal beforehand. This will help fuel your workout and keep your stomach satisfied while you are working out. Try yogurt with granola and pecans and almonds, a banana with peanut butter spread on crackers, or scrambled eggs with vegetables and whole grain toast.
In conclusion, fitness is extremely important to your overall well being. There are lots of obvious fitness related things that you can do as well as things that you may never have thought of. As long as you follow the tips and tricks in this article you should find much success
📍 you can always reach me through Sir Marita
#managingstressEA
Managing Stress
📍 Using the skills and attitudes of resilience to challenge our beliefs.
In this post am going to talk a lot about the management of stress. The skills of resilience are really stress management skills. They are also the skills of emotional intelligence These areas overlap a lot and have a lot to do with the issue of happiness as well.
Recently, I was asked to do an interview with a national magazine around the issue of stress management. The author wanted specific recommendations regarding how to manage stress quickly. We talked for about a half-hour and came up with a number of strategies; again, strategies very directly related to resilience as well as to the management of stress.
The management of stress has much to do with the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and other people. And about the world in general. In this Channel , I’ve talked a lot about the issues of permanency and pervasiveness and personal blame. It is easy for us to get into this type of thinking which, as Seligman has defined repeatedly in his research, has much to do with pessimism and depression. So challenging our beliefs has much to do with resilience and with managing stress on a daily basis. We make assumptions about how we should look, feel and behave. We also often get into black and white thinking. We say things like, ‘If I don’t get this promotion, I’m never going to get ahead in life.’ Or, ‘If this relationship fails, I will never find another person that I can love or could love me.’
Managing stress often involves challenging these assumptions and these beliefs. We need to argue with ourselves rather than simply accept these beliefs at face value.
We also need to find ways of channeling and expressing the stress that we are feeling. Sometimes we can do this by simply talking to others. Exercise can also be a very good idea. And engaging in creative activities, like drawing, writing or painting, can also work.
We also need to get our lives organized and directed. Before we can do this, we usually need to decide what is most important and what our goals really are right now. We can often make what may appear to be an overwhelming agenda manageable by writing it down and then realistically prioritizing the things that we can accomplish and making a plan to accomplish them.
So managing stress may be as simple some days as making a list and prioritizing the list, challenging our beliefs and what we must accomplish and finding ways to express our frustrations and often our anger specifically using creative activities as a channel.
Resilience has much to do with managing stress, and the skills of resilience and stress management are very, very similar to the ones that Goldman and others have defined as emotional intelligence and that those working in the area of positive psychology believe can lead to people feeling happier and more satisfied with their lives.
#scienceofchoice
What Motivates You To Succeed?
📍People differ in sensitivity to reward and punishment in pursuit of their goals. The regulatory focus theory proposed by Higgins (2012) describes that an individual has two motivations, namely promotion focus and prevention focus. Promotion-focused people see their goals as creating a path to advancement. They are eager to succeed. In contrast, the prevention-focused people pay more attention to how to avoid mistakes or protect the status quo.
For example, a promotion-focused student reads materials beyond required readings as an eager way to get an “A.” In contrast, a prevention-focused is careful to satisfy all course requirements as a vigilant way to get an “A”. In the context of health behavior, promotion-focused individuals are more successful at initiating weight loss and smoking cessation. Prevention-focused individuals are more committed to maintaining and preserving the status quo.
The prevention focus is similar to the concept of loss aversion, which assumes that people are much more sensitive to suffering a “loss” than they are to netting a “gain.” In the words of Marcel Proust: “Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.”
When individuals find themselves in a state of loss (below status quo), those with prevention-focused are willing to do whatever is necessary to maintain the status quo. In contrast, promotion-focused individuals are motivated to make progress away from the current state, since the status quo holds no special meaning to them.
There is mounting evidence to support the idea that all else being equal, individuals who pursue promotion goals are better off than individuals who pursue prevention (or avoidance) goals. For example, individuals in a promotion focus exhibit more creative insight (think outside the box) than individuals in a prevention focus, in part, because being in a promotion focus encourages eager strategies and leads to a memory search for more novel responses. In contrast, the prevention-focused are concerned with safety and responsibility. They worry about what might go wrong if they don’t attend to their obligations and responsibilities.
To maximize motivation, these two approaches can be used to craft a more persuasive message aimed at changing behavior. Messages that fit the receiver’s chronic orientation appear to be more persuasive. People in a prevention focus are convinced more by safety-related information (e.g., “lower risk of getting cancer”). People in promotion focus are more strongly convinced by growth-related information (e.g., “increases energy”). For example, the goal can be to eat more fruits and vegetables for the sake of protection from harmful daily elements (prevention focus). The same message can be presented for the sake of increased energy and general fulfillment (promotion focus).
This post was opened from Psychology Today
#loveEA
Don’t rush love.
❤️It will come and it will find you. It might not be at the time you want it to be, but it will come in the exact moment you are ready. I’ve learned that we sometimes get so busy trying to find someone to complete us, that we forget to realize that we are already whole. Love yourself first so that it never comes down to you needing someone to love you. And always be grateful for the love that comes your way, even if it doesn’t stay forever. Let go of love gracefully and never allow it to cause hate or bitterness. take it in, give it out, and accept how people offer it. And remember that the people in your life won’t be here forever. Spend time with them today, right now. Tell them you love them, but more importantly, show them that you do
#lifestyleEA
🔖Many times when we talk to people, it seems our words simply go in one ear and out the other, which makes communication with them difficult, if not impossible. We could speculate for days on the reasons why people don’t listen; maybe they have a lot on their mind and can’t seem to quiet it enough to listen to you, or maybe they just don’t have any interest in the topic at hand, or maybe they love to hear their own voice more than other peoples’.
We can’t get inside their heads and make them listen, but we can control our methods of dealing with these people, so that communicating with them doesn’t feel like talking to a rock or some other inanimate object.
HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO DON’T LISTEN:
1. ASK THEM MORE QUESTIONS.
Anytime you try to explain something in detail, and don’t give the other person a chance to follow up with questions, the conversation will start to become one-sided. After each main point you make, open the floor to allow them chances to ask any questions they might have. You could even ask them questions to reiterate your points, such as “What have you learned so far?” or “Do you have any questions about what I’ve said?” People like to feel involved in the conversation, not like they’re sitting through a lecture in college.
Obviously, it takes two people to have a conversation, so make it more fun and interactive, especially if you’re trying to teach someone a new skill.
2. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO TALK.
Maybe they don’t have any questions for you, but they just want to make their points heard. Instead of focusing on getting them to listen, maybe try listening to them. Show patience with them, and make sure you give them opportunities to speak their mind. You never know; maybe people talk over them a lot, so they feel like their voice doesn’t matter. Give them the opportunity to express themselves, and once you’ve earned their trust, they will care more about your thoughts and ideas.
3. FOCUS ON CREATING A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.
You can’t have effective communication with someone if you don’t take the time to build a relationship with them. If you don’t know who they are or what they’re about, how can you possibly know how to get ideas through to them? Instead of fixating on their flaws in communicating, you need to earn their trust and create a safe space for them to express themselves. The best communicators don’t try to push ideas on others; they simply try to create lasting connections with people. Attempt to understand people and show them compassion, and you will find that people will listen to you more willingly.
4. TRY TO EXPLAIN THINGS IN A WAY THAT HE/SHE CAN UNDERSTAND.
To get people to listen to you, you need to get on their level and communicate in a way that makes sense to them. At the end of the day, they need to work on their listening skills, but you could help them along the way. Maybe they just communicate differently than most people, or get easily overwhelmed in conversations. Ask them questions about how you could make communication with you work better for them; if you show you genuinely care about the person, they will feel much more comfortable talking to you, and that respect will go a long way in getting them to listen.
5. EDUCATE YOURSELF MORE ON THEIR LEARNING STYLE.
Are they a more verbal or visual learner? Get to know more about how they learn best, so you can communicate your ideas in a sustainable manner. Nothing feels more frustrating than talking to someone who doesn’t seem to comprehend what you’re saying, so to prevent that, try to cater to other people’s learning styles. This might apply more in the workplace as opposed to just talking casually with friends, but no matter the situation, learning all you can about how someone absorbs new ideas can really break the barriers in communicating with them.
#Dailymotivation
Your moment to begin
📍"The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action."
The best time to start is now. The best place to start is here.
The best resources to use are whatever you have. The best way to proceed is by doing whatever you can do.
It’s fine to have ambitious and detailed plans, but the plans are not the achievement. Achievement requires action, and the sooner you start the better.
It’s good to study carefully and prepare yourself for the effort. Yet much of what you need to know, you’ll have to learn as you go along, so go, do, learn, achieve.
Don’t let the good things you envision stay stuck in your imagination. Give them life by giving them your immediate and persistent effort.
There are countless things you can do to make life better. And now is your moment to begin.
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#LifestyleEA
Are You Smiling?
📍Your boss comes to your cubicle, and the moment you see the glum look on her face, your heart sinks. Bad news from HQ, she tells you. She has to give a report first thing in the morning, and so she needs you to get her presentation done by the end of the day. She heaves a sigh as she plods back to her office.
This new job assignment has already put you in a funk, but as you read the request from HQ, your heart sinks even further. You need data you can only get from Lois in accounting. You hate dealing with Lois—she’s such an emotional drain.
You call, but she doesn’t answer her phone. You send her an email, but an hour later she still hasn’t responded. So you brace yourself and head for her office—down in the basement. (She says she likes it down there. It’s quiet, and people rarely bother her.)
There’s a knot in the pit of your stomach as you open her door. She’s busy at her computer, but as soon as she looks up, you see the gloom and doom written all over her face.
You tell her your predicament, but she has little sympathy and plenty of complaints of her own. In the end, she says she’ll try to get you the figures before she leaves, but no promises. Your head is pounding as you return to your desk. You know you’ll be working late tonight.
Most people are prisoners of their passions. They believe that an emotion is something that happens to them. They react emotionally to the behaviors of those around them, and they’re infected by the emotions of the people they interact with.
Yet some people have learned how to regulate their emotions. They don’t let other people’s sour moods get them down, nor do they let other people’s bad behavior make them angry. And you too can control your emotions, if you know how.
People who keep their mood on an even keel don’t rely on the brute force of will power to get themselves through emotional crises. For will power is a fickle friend that always abandons you in your hour of need. Rather, emotionally stable people develop habits that tip the balance in their favor.
Here’s a mind-trick I learned years ago. I call it: “Check Your Smile at the Door.” It’s based on classical conditioning, the same process Pavlov used to get his dog to salivate to a bell. Only, you’re going to condition yourself.
Classical conditioning works by associating a new stimulus with an established behavior. In this case, smiling is the conditioned response—something you already know how to do. And the conditioned stimulus—what you’re going to learn to respond to—is a door.
Each time you approach a door, say to yourself: “Check your smile at the door.” And really do check. Are you smiling? If not, then put a smile on your face. It doesn’t matter how bad you feel on the inside. Don’t go through that door until you’ve got a convincing smile on your face and you’re confident you can peal out a chipper “Good morning!”
Doors play an important role in our psychology. They separate one social situation from another, and walking through a door initiates a new social interaction. You know the old adage about the importance of first impressions. But this is true whether you’re meeting for the first time ever or just the first time today.
By walking through that door in high spirits (even if they’re feigned!), you’ve set the mood for the social exchange. And because most people are emotional followers, they’ll take your lead. They’ll let themselves get infected by your cheerfulness. And this will make you feel better as well.
In fact, putting on a happy face boosts your mood in one way. The way is what’s called facial feedback. As your brain detects that your “grin” muscles are engaged, it seems to think to itself: “I’m smiling so I must be happy.”
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new relationship.
The best socializing after a breakup is with people who allow you to be yourself, without having to worry about impressing, flirting, or being "on." Dating can be exhausting, and you need all of your energy focused on feeling better and getting stronger.
If you do decided to date, it might be worthwhile to communicate to this new person that you are still in recovery mode from the ending of a recent relationship. Let him or her know that you'll need to take it slow.
Try not to unload all of your pain and anger about your ex onto this new person, especially at the beginning. That's a surefire way to put a quick end to this connection. Save those conversations for your friends, counselor, or family member.
For many people, having sex with someone creates a chemical bond with them that feels like love. You may miss sex after your breakup and find yourself wanting to jump into bed with someone right away.
You know yourself best related to your emotions around sex. If it creates the potential for more angst or a premature commitment you don't want to make, then take this slow as well.
As you work on healing, rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem, and developing positive skills to take into your next relationship, you might enjoy reading my book 201 Relationship Questions: The Couple's Guide To Building Trust And Emotional Intimacy.
The post How To Get Over A Breakup Like A Grown-Up appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
ity to find the right person."
* If you are leaving because of constant discord or fighting in the relationship, you might say, "Our constant arguing and disagreements are pulling me down and making me very unhappy. I simply can't live like this any longer, even though I care for you very much."
* If you are leaving because of a specific behavior or character issue with your partner, you should be honest but kind, saying, "Your lying to me so many times has undermined my trust in you. I just can't continue in a relationship with someone who isn't honest."
Whatever the reason, and whatever you say, you'll likely be met with anger, tears, questions, or even pleading. The best way to end it smoothly is to state your case, answer any legitimate questions, try not to get defensive, and end the conversation relatively quickly.
Don't drag it out.
If you've decided to end it, then end it fast. You may still feel conflicted or confused, and you may still have feelings for this person. But it doesn't help either of you to drag things on with the weight of this pain between you.
If you are living together move out as soon as possible, or go stay with a friend until you can find your own place.
Try not to get caught up in endless conversations about the relationship or rehash all of the good and bad parts of it. Don't feel like you have to be the therapist or listening ear for your ex because you feel guilty.
Block calls, texts, and social media connections.
You may be tempted to continue to stay in touch with your ex, but at least initially, it's best to cut off all communication until you both begin to heal.
If you don't have the self-discipline to stop calling, texting, and scanning your ex's social media pages, then block them or unfriend them.
This isn't to be mean or spiteful. It's simply a necessary way to allow both of you to regain your footing and move on.
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
You may feel happy the relationship is over and ready to move on with your life. You may feel sad and lonely and wish you could contact your ex to talk about old times.
Whatever you are feeling is OK. You don't need to feel guilty for making a decision that you feel is best for your life. And if you've made the decision mindfully, you can trust your own judgement while still feeling somewhat conflicted and sad.
If you feel grief, give yourself the time to grieve over the loss of the relationship, especially before jumping into another one.
Stay busy and active.
Don't sit around analyzing the breakup or vegging out in front of the TV. Go do some of the things you didn't or couldn't do when you were in a relationship.
Spend more time with friends and family. Take up a new hobby or re-energize your fitness routine. Commit to a goal or project that requires focus and concentration to keep your mind from wandering back to your ex.
Find the lessons in your experience with this person.
Relationships are laboratories for personal growth. We learn so much about ourselves and about what we do and don't want in a partner with every relationship we experience.
Ask yourself what you learned from this person, both good and bad. What would you do differently in the next relationship? How do you need to change and grow?
Look for ways you want to be a better partner and what you want in a relationship regarding communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, and compatibility. For The One Broken Up With
Many of these same strategies list above apply to relationship partner who has been spurned.
* As much as you may want more explanations or one last night together or one more attempt to win him or her back, don't drag it out. Don't beg or cajole. Try to cut the cord quickly so you can begin to heal.
* For the sake of your sanity and dignity, if you're partner states he wants t[...]
Live Bold and Bloom
How To Read Faster To Learn More In Less Time
When I read a fiction book, I savor it. If the book is really good, I lap up every word at my leisure, sometimes re-reading paragraphs that are particularly well-written or compelling. For me, great fiction is like a gourmet meal or a fine wine. You don’t want to rush it or consume it too... Continue Reading
The post How To Read Faster To Learn More In Less Time appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
#InspirationEA
4 Behaviors of People Who Aren’t Thankful (And How To Avoid Having Them)
🌴We have all had ungrateful people in our lives. Those folks that seem to think we were put on this earth to serve them or fix the messes they get themselves into. They expect people to pick up after them or help them with things but never seem to get to the “thank you very much for your help.” portion of the interaction. They also never seem to be happy or content with the way their life is or the people who are in it.
So how do we avoid becoming the unhappy and ungrateful person we see in some people?
Identify their behaviors and do the opposite.
1. PEOPLE WHO AREN’T THANKFUL ARE ALWAYS IN NEED
People who aren’t thankful are always in need of some kind of assistance. Whether it is help with bills, watching the kids or giving them a ride. They always need something from you. They are in a perpetual state of emergency and it is usually one they create themselves either through poor judgment or on purpose in order to create the drama they feed on.
Do you have a recurring emergency in a relationship or with finances? Identify what the issue is and work to change it. Instead of asking for someone to help with a temporary solution work on a permanent one. Instead of asking for help with a bill ask your friends and family to help you find a better job.
The important thing is that when someone does take time to help then tell them “thank you.” People will rescue you from hellish situations and all that is required on your part are two words that won’t cost you a dime.
2. PEOPLE WHO AREN’T THANKFUL DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU UNLESS THEY NEED SOMETHING
The thing is that unless they need something from you, then you never hear from them. They only turn to you for friendship when they are in a jam. You will never hear them say “Hey let me take you out to lunch” or “let me help you with that.” If everything is going fine then you don’t exist in their world anymore.
Don’t just call friends or family only when you need something. Reach out to people. Ask them if they need help with anything or just go out and get a coffee with them and talk. Relationships built on mutual assistance are strong and last a lifetime.
3. PEOPLE WHO AREN’T THANKFUL EXPECT YOU TO HELP THEM
They may feel entitled to your help either because you are family or they feel that you owe them something for being their friend. They aren’t grateful because they feel they have earned your help and you are just paying them back. They may have done a single nice thing for you only so that they could hold it over your head for as long as they can and squeeze every last ounce of guilt fueled work they could. Family, rather than friends, usually expect you to help them.
Don’t expect people to save you. You are a strong independent and resilient person who is more than capable of helping themselves get up after a tumble. It is great when people help or come to the rescue and be very thankful when they do because those people are rare indeed, but don’t sit in your tower and expect someone to save you. Save yourself.
4. THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM AND THEIR SCHEDULE
Oh and you have to drop everything you are doing right now to come and help them. If it was an unexpected emergency that would be one thing but the ungrateful person’s emergencies are usually do to poor planning, poor time management or irresponsibility on their part. They screwed up (again) and they expect you to come running to save them right this second.
If someone is willing to volunteer their time to help you with something then the least you can do is to work your schedule around theirs if you can or come up with a time when you both are free. Being grateful for their assistance means understanding that their time is just as precious to them as yours is to you.
Stay tuned for more, as next I will expand on this... Also you can send me your views about this simple post of mine through E'Support
#marriageEA
When It Comes to Marriage, Is All Conflict Bad?
📍So... fighting is bad right? Unless you are a prize fighter, we are taught to avoid conflict. Women in particular are taught to fix things emotionally. Talk it out. Hug it out. Listen. Men, on the other hand, are usually taught to avoid conflict. Unless you can't, and in that case... hash it out, and move on.
Given these gender scripts, along with the high divorce rates in our society, conflict is seen as a bad thing in marriage. Bad for all—even same-sex couples—and especially the kids who happen to be there when it happens. Sometimes it is necessary, but generally it is bad. The question that has me thinking these days is: when it comes to marriage, is all conflict bad?
The answer, not surprisingly, is... nope. It depends on the type of conflict, the timing of the conflict, the people involved in the conflict, and who wins the fight. Yes, I know, thinking about winning and losing is not a good idea when it comes to marriage—but let's be honest—we all do. Who won this fight? Who lost that battle? Why are all the socks NOT in the laundry basket? How on earth can I get her to unload the dishwasher? And... is this a deal breaker?
More surprisingly, perhaps, is that conflict is good. Or, at least, it can be. Researchers have long tried to figure out how to stop conflict, how to minimize it, or how to mediate it. Or, conversely, how to predict who will have it and prevent them from getting married. But, the truth is that conflict happens. Frequently. Sometimes quietly. Sometimes very loudly, and very violently, and then other people HAVE to intervene. So when is conflict good? And when is it so bad that someone should intervene?
These are not easy answers. But I can offer a few insights based on my research, my reading, and my experience.
First, don't avoid conflict at all costs. If you do that, the other person may not think that anything is wrong. Then they will get used to how things are. Then... eventually when you can't take it anymore, and you decide to bring it up... they will be blindsided. No one likes to be blindsided. So, bring it up. If you hate it when your partner leaves the toilet seat up—tell them! Mention it. Then ask them politely to put it down. And if that doesn't work, leave them hilarious post it notes on the toilet. If they don't know you hate it, they will keep doing it. Let them know.
Second, don't nag. Yeah, yeah, I know... sometimes you can't help it. You may feel like you are asking them to pick up their nasty wet towels CONSTANTLY, and they are not listening. The thing about nagging is that it doesn't work... eventually... because the other person tunes it out. This is called the "nag/withdraw cycle" or the "pressure-distancer pattern". Basically, if you bring something up all the time, it becomes "noise" to the other person and they acclimate to it. Or, they get so annoyed that they just leave the room (or turn up the TV). This is not productive, and is a really bad way to go about solving an issue. So... pick your battles (as they say), and find a way to communicate your wishes without bringing it up ALL THE TIME. Solving the issue is the goal. And, if you can reach some sort of compromise, that is the best-case-scenario.
Finally, and this is an important one, try to SOLVE the root of the conflict. Talk it out. Set up a meeting to talk it out. Go to a marriage counselor and have him or her help you two to talk it out. Don't resort to yelling, and screaming, and worse... and then end up worse off than you started. I know this is hard. I know asking for help is like admitting defeat. But it is worth it! (YOU are worth it). And it, at first, you don't succeed—try, try again. Try another way (like writing each other letters). Try another counselor (because not all counselors are the one w ho can help you). Try. As P¡nk says, "You have to get up and try, try, try...."
#RelationshipsEA
Advice Not to Follow When It Comes to Getting Over Your Ex
📍One of the hardest aspects of ending a romantic relationship or marriage is the voiced opinions of other people about what you need to do. Many don’t know what to say, or how to comfort, or they take on excessive responsibility to “fix” you and your situation. In reality, all you really want (and need) is a kind and supportive ear. With the shock and heartache that the loss of a relationship brings, you may find yourself with mixed feelings about what you actually should or should not be doing to cope. Relieve yourself of the burden of what others tell you that you “should” or “should not” do. Here are five well-meaning pieces of advice that deserve skepticism.
1. “Move On:” When grieving the loss of a relationship and feeling intense heartache, it is predictable that some close to you will convey that you should more quickly be moving on. They may seem to want this of you almost immediately. Perhaps you hear—“You’ve just got to move on.” “Get over it.” “It is what it is.” “Stop thinking about him.” Or perhaps you are telling yourself these same statements. It’s a completely unrealistic expectation that you are going to move on immediately. You need time and the more you beat yourself up telling yourself you should be moving on at a quicker pace, the longer it will actually take. This is because your brain and your body need time to come to terms with the loss. Some never do this work and jump quickly back into dating or make other major life changes in an effort to wipe the slate clean and avoid the pain. They may move across the country, buy a new home, get a new job, make large purchases—almost as a way to will themselves to move on. I have found over and over again that those who accept, right at the beginning, that the process of letting go is going to take some time, end up moving through the process more smoothly. You will recover. You will move on. Instead of forcing this, allow it to happen naturally—at your own pace.
2. “Don’t Sulk:” Then there are those you care about and who care about you who tell you to push your feelings aside— “Don’t dwell on your ex.” “Don’t think about the past.” “Some people have it worst than you.” “Snap out of it!” In fact the opposite is true. You have to feel and talk about the hurt, anger and despair to truly, eventually, let go. Just let yourself feel the sadness and hurt without also being critical about what you can’t help but to feel. There is nothing abnormal about having a range of emotions as you process the loss of your marriage or relationship. One way to cope with emotions, without pushing them away or becoming overwhelmed, is to set aside a period of time each day to feel and concentrate on them. Then when the time elapses, move to other tasks or distractions.
3.“Don’t Contact Your Ex:” It is common advice—“Whatever you do, don’t call him and immediately delete him/her from all of your social media.” However, and this is important, processing with your ex what happened in the relationship or what led up to the demise can be very helpful in some cases. You just have to assess if you and your partner are actually capable of doing this. And too, sometimes contacting your ex is a reminder that there is nothing left between you and that you really do need to stop contact. If you delete every bit of connection too soon, you may have regrets that lead you to obsess and self-criticize for being too hasty. When it’s time to take a step back, you will know. Recognize how you feel when you are viewing your ex’s social media updates, or when you talk or see them in person. If you feel worse after contact, take these feelings seriously they may be telling you it’s time to pull back. If you feel better or as if you have received something valuable from the interaction, it may not be time.
Opened up from Psychology Today
#positivelivingEA
Are You Addicted to Results?
📍I want to talk about this subtle misunderstanding: “ If I work on myself, I will get the results I want in my life.” Now you may be wondering why in the world that would not be true or reasonable to believe, especially since you probably understand that our external world is a reflection of our internal reality.
Yet this direct correlation that many of us make between self-work and results is creating unconscious roadblocks of attachment. I said this was subtle…hang with me.
Often it takes a rattling catalytic event or reaching a level of unbearable discontent to stimulate us to reach out for help. We look around for help because we are not taught the principles of self-development in school. Wouldn’t it be nice if classes that taught us about ourselves appeared next to algebra and economics on our school syllabi? Since they don’t we are conditioned from a young age to be achievement and outcome based. Therefore when finally do get around to putting understanding and healing ourselves on our curriculum, we often attach an objective to it because we are so used to being goal-oriented. We begin working ourselves so that we can get the health, job, relationship, etc. that we desire.
It is totally natural to have your initial spark to embark on a personal growth path be a desire for something more, better or different (especially if you are experiencing pain of any kind). And sometimes we use, or perhaps even need, some kind of external end goal to motivate us to go through the pain. Your Higher Self knows that things have to be put in your path so that you begin to wake up.
But the point of personal growth is not to get something in return for all our work.
Let’s look at a common example. Say you working on yourself because you want to find your “soulmate.” You understand that we attract people that are at our level of vibration and awareness so you are trying to sort out all your issues so you can find “the one.” I acknowledge that level of ownership and agree that we attract better partners for ourselves when we work do our work first.
However, when the driving reason for doing the work is so that we can get the result we think will make us feel better, our ego is still in the driver’s seat.
Confusion then sets in because we begin to measure our progress by whether or not the goal we set is manifesting. And when it doesn’t, we believe there is even more we have to work on and never reach a point of peace until the goal is met. This is why attaching goals to your sacred spiritual work can be dangerous and blind you to the progress you are actually making. Let me clarify that manifesting things in the physical world reality that we desire may indeed be a wonderful result of our work.
My encouragement to you is to let go of allowing it to be the primary purpose or reason to do your work.
Shift to a more authentic place and clean up your intentions. If you resonated with the example above of seeking a soulmate, consider totally letting go of any attachment to ever being in partnership and make your relationship with yourself so incredibly juicy and fulfilling that it doesn’t feel like anything is missing!
A goal or desire is a great reason to get your growth groove on but don’t let it be the reason you keep going. Surrender is a major component of growth. As you detach from results, you can hear the whispers of your Soul and your true heart’s desire . . . which is often different than what you think you want.
You can always reach me out if incase you want help, this is my help account Sir Marita.
#dailymotivationEA
"The splendid achievements of the intellect, like the soul, are everlasting."
New value to create
📍Don’t let a few problems stop you. Don’t let a few obstacles stand in your way.
Instead of running from the problems, step boldly toward them. Instead of using them as an excuse to quit, use them to develop a path for moving forward.
With each problem, you can choose to either work through it or to work around it. What you don’t want to do is back away from it.
The value of any achievement comes from the problems that must be addressed to reach that achievement. Diamonds are more difficult to mine than gravel, and so are worth much more.
When you’re good at solving problems, you’re good at creating value. When you’re willing to deal with problems, you’re able to achieve great things.
In this life there will always be problems. And so, there will always be new value to create.
#dailymotivation
Persistent positive example
📍 "Every problem has a gift for you in its hands."
You can choose to be kind, even when others are not. You can speak truthfully, even when some people seek to deceive.
You can be generous, respectful, polite and positive, no matter how the world responds. You can be joyful without any particular reason.
When wasting time on trivial minutia is the popular thing to do, you can fill your moments with substance. Instead of fighting to prove others wrong, you can listen, learn and understand.
If you want the world to be kind, considerate, honest and sincere, show the world how. Living your values is much more effective than preaching and lecturing about them.
A light in the darkness is always noticed, even when it is not acknowledged. Shine your light often enough, and it cannot help but make a difference.
You have the option to live a good and valuable life every day. Live well, be a persistent positive example, and allow the world to follow along.
#moodEA
How to Improve Your Mood Right Now: 3 Simple Habits
🔖 I often write about how a good start to your day oftoft4en leads to having a good day in general.
A social, an energetic or a productive start sets the context for your day.
But on some days you may not get a good start for some reason.
Maybe you slept badly. Or the maybe grey skies and cold summer rain is dragging your energy down.
Or you might have lost that positive momentum during a hard first part of the day and after lunch you feel tired, low or lost in a somewhat sad or uninspired funk.
What to do then? Is that day lost and should you just aim for a better day tomorrow?
Well, today is not over yet. Maybe you can still make something good out it.
Here’s how I do that by breaking the negative mood and getting a new start.
1. Appreciate what you have.
The simplest of my most commonly used pick-me-ups.
I take about 2 minutes and sit in silence.
I tell myself: OK, I might not feel so good right now, but what can I be grateful for and appreciate in my life? I usually come up with one simple thing like:
💡My tasty food.
💡My health.
💡That I have a roof.
That one thing opens up my mind. It redirects my thoughts from the negativity.
Then I build upon that one thing. I make mental jumps from the roof, to the warmth in our home, to the fluffy cat sitting beside me on the sofa, to that I can work from home as the rain pours outside.
I make those small mental leaps by just moving my attention around in the room I am in. Like skipping from stone to stone over a stream. And I take the time to slowly appreciate all those things.
This changes my mood to a happier, warmer and more open one .
2. Act as you would like to feel.
Emotions work backwards too. So if I want to become more positive or enthusiastic then I act in the manner of a person who is positive or enthusiastic.
I might not feel like it. But I do it as best as I can anyway. I may for example: Think of the task I have in front of me as something exciting and fun.
Answer some emails or talk to someone in a positive and enthusiastic manner.
Assume rapport if I feel unmotivated, negative or nervous before some kind of meeting (assuming rapport is to I think to myself that I am meeting one of my best friends just before the meeting and that puts me in the right mood and headspace).
3. Think for a minute and give someone a genuine compliment.
Here’s a fun one I use quite often and that will not only lift my own mood.
Spend one minute coming up with something you really and genuinely appreciate about someone in your life that is in the same room as you at some point during the day. Then tell him or her the genuine compliment you have come up with.
She or he will be happy. You’ll feel good about yourself and get positive feelings too from the now smiling, happy and complimented person. And so the mood for the both of you is changed for the better.
#enterprenureEA
5 Smart Ways Entrepreneurs Stay Productive and Healthy
🔖Being an entrepreneur is an extremely stressful job. The total physical, financial, and mental burden of the business lies on you. This alone can threaten your health and have a detrimental impact on your physical fitness. And despite the threat that is posed to your health, you still can’t help working hard.
But at this point, all smart and successful business leaders do something different. Yes, they all have a couple of other things in common apart from a rich bank account balance. They are all dedicated to practicing health habits which ensure that they can
work insanely hard without breaking down.
The ultimate trick lies in making a habit stick throughout your life.
How do you think you could do that? Would you be able to satiate the demands of your employees and customers if you don’t have good health conditions? Definitely not! Check out the healthy habits most hardworking, successful and smart entrepreneurs live by which doesn’t let them sabotage their productivity.
1. They don’t skip breakfast.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You don’t eat when you sleep. Hence if you skip your breakfast, you are depriving your body from the vital nutrients and energy which needs to keep you going during the day. Smart entrepreneurs understand this and because of this, they don’t skip their breakfast.
2. They don’t consume too many frozen foods.
If you work from home and you’re not adept at cooking, you must be finding frozen foods as the best alternative. But alas, frozen foods are loaded with nutrients and ingredients you wouldn’t want to consume regularly . Although it is not that a frozen dinner will kill you but it can definitely sabotage your health and subsequently, your productivity.
3. They know sleep is vital for success.
All entrepreneurs go through late nights and early mornings from time to time, as they have to meet up with their last- minute deadlines. However, smart entrepreneurs are aware of the fact that sleep is important for their success. Irrespective of whether you’re a night owl or you’re an early riser, you have to find a consistent sleep routine and also stick to it throughout your office life. Weekends can be spent in a different way altogether.
4. They make time to unplug from the daily, mad rush.
As an entrepreneur myself I know what it means to feel like you are losing out of the chase. I once got my line banned by my network provider sometime last year. For those few hours, I almost panicked. It was like I was missing out on everything worth missing out on. I got the line re-instated later on and got back myself.
Like me, many entrepreneurs find it difficult from unplugging from the stress of the day-to-day hustle. And it is even worse for those whose jobs require using the internet or just about anyone whose business revolves around IT. It is easy to get addicted to smart gadgets and get so used to screens that unplugging will seem like a Herculean task.
Smart entrepreneurs know better. They understand the importance of creating a perfect work-life balance. And they always look out for ways to unplug and create a balance for a healthier life.
5. They learn something new every day.
Healthy entrepreneurs are dreamers throughout their lives. They work hard, play hard and think even harder. They listen to audio books, love to read and absorb as much knowledge as is possible for them. Not only do they teach themselves about topics which are relevant to grow their businesses, they also keep learning on what it takes to be healthy. This is because that they know that healthy behaviors have a direct impact on their business performance.
In conclusion, it is not just important to be productive and have huge turnovers, it is equally important to have good health so as to enjoy the reward of all your hard work. These habits, if imbibed, will help you stay healthy and still be productive.
How to of the Day
How to Get Spiders Out of Your House Without Killing Them
Spiders can be unwanted house guests. But even if you don’t want spiders in your home, you don’t necessarily want to kill them! Luckily there are a few methods you can use to catch the spider and guide it outside. Even if you are afraid of spiders, you will be able to use these methods with minimal contact with the spider. Before capturing the spider, you will want to make sure it's not venomous so that there is no risk of you acquiring a poisonous bite.