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#lifestyle©
6 Things to Remember After
Breaking Up With A Soulmate
Relationships with a soulmate can be difficult. They are passionate and full of so many erratic
emotions, from rage, jealousy, obsession to intensity, passion, and lust. A soulmate enters your life with such excitement, force and ferocity that we often forget who we are when the relationship ends. Because soulmates “get each other,” they don’t fight fair and their struggles are magnified. Meeting the love of your life is a choice.
Meeting a soulmate is not. They are there for reasons beyond our understanding.
1. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CATER TO YOUR SOULMATE.
There is a misunderstanding that you have to stay with your soulmate the rest of your life. You do not have to entertain them forever. Just as easily as you fell in love with your soulmate, it can turn into
madness and anger. You are only responsible for linking your own wounds. This, too, shall pass. You cannot stay in the picture to make them feel better. You must go on your own and try to establish healthy boundaries.
2. YOU CANNOT WORRY IF YOUR SOULMATE WILL REMAIN IN YOUR
LIFE.
Relationships with a soulmate are full of karmic issues. You have arrived into this life and reunited with this person to finish a lesson, to close up the soul connection, and to evolve as spiritual beings. Many people withstand the pain and toxic components of such a
relationship because they fear that they will lose this person forever. But, a soulmate connection is one of the most invaluable teachers in all types of relationships. You cannot remain in fear of loss, but continue to take care of you and
your needs. These relationships can break the heart deeper than any other. Having your soulmate around (at least after a breakup) is a constant reminder. You must cut ties.
3. YOUR SOULMATE IS NOT YOUR POSSESSION OR OBSESSION.
The soul-to-soul connection between two soulmates sometimes borders on obsession. These type of relationships can be destructive and abusive. The mind stops working altogether and it seems as if the heart is constantly tugging and pulling. Soulmates feel a sense of entitlement that moves
past a healthy relationship. They expect full participation in
each others lives, and this is not always in a good way.
Your soulmate is not there to fix you or use you as a commodity. Remember that in every relationship, there are two people with their own individuality.
4. YOUR SOULMATE AND YOU MET AT AN OPPORTUNE TIME.
Sometimes soulmate connections arrive at the wrong time. There may be other partners involved
or marriages. When you end a connection that intense, you
may feel that you have made the wrong decision but
soulmates reunite for a reason and,often times, it isn’t
necessarily forever. They may enter for a short period of time to teach you what you are missing, or what you don't want in a relationship. It all depends on how you decide to
participate in this affair.
5. YOUR SOULMATE CONNECTION MAY HAVE BEEN TOO INTENSE.
A soulmate relationship can be
overwhelming. The energy is too much to handle on a
level that is destructive and not conducive to your present
life. Sometimes breaking up is for a short period of time until they can get their lives on the same vibrational frequency. These love affairs can force anyone to act
completely insane with others. The energy and attraction is staggering and poignant. People tend to stop using their logical minds and allow “feelings” to dictate. It becomes a
drug you cannot live without. The withdrawals are excruciating. But, this is part of the attraction.
6. YOUR SOULMATE MAGNIFIED THE DARK PARTS OF YOU.
Soulmate relationships can bring out the good and bad side of each other. The intensity can magnify those things in yourself that you don't acknowledge or want to explore. These emotions can bring
about rage one minute, and joy another. The reason the partnership is so passionate is because two people have danced this tango before. It’s hard to find grounding and footing on your own.
recognize the signs that you're headed in that direction, you can save yourself before you end up curled in a ball in the back of your closet. Here are 10 ways to protect yourself against being burned out:
1. Consider changing jobs. If you hate your job and feel unmotivated and unfulfilled by it, then it's time to consider making a change. Don't wait until you're too depressed or depleted to begin a job search. Simply getting your resume in order and looking around at other opportunities can give you a sense of hope and excitement.
2. Change up the job you have. If it's impossible to leave your job, determine the main source of stress and try to change it. If you're working too many hours, ask for some time off. Is your boss making you crazy? Find out about switching to another department. Do you feel bored by the day-to-day tasks of your work? Let your boss know that you'd be more productive and engaged doing something else. Even the smallest change can be enough to feel more empowered and hopeful.
3. Stop trying to be superman or woman. You don't have to stay late every day or take on more projects than you can comfortably handle. You don't have to work through lunch or forgo your vacation. Pace yourself and be realistic about how much work you are capable of handling without imploding. Take as much vacation time as you're allowed, and please, don't take work with you on vacation. Give yourself a complete and total break.
4. Ask for help when you start to feel overwhelmed. If you have a big project at work or a huge obligation in your personal life, don't assume you just have to "push through" and manage everything by yourself. Other people may not recognize that you're feeling overwhelmed, so you can't wait for someone to step in. You have to ask. It's not a sign of weakness or laziness. It's a sign of strength and good sense.
5. Practice radical self-care. The best defense against burn-out is a good offense, and that means getting serious about self-care. Exercise is imperative for relieving stress and staying healthy, resilient, and energized. Getting enough sleep is also critical to your mental health and ability to function well during the day. Pay particular attention to your eating habits during stressful times, as we all tend to fall off the healthy food wagon when we're overwhelmed.
6. Create balance in all areas of your life. Feeling burned out is the result of too much of one thing -- too much work, too many demands, too much intensity in one area of your life. Determine the optimal balance between work, relationships, self-care, fun, and relaxation. Then put that into practice by mindfully pulling back from the "too much" part of your life and giving more time and energy to the "too little" parts of your life.
7. Give yourself a technology detox. Even when you back off of work or other life demands, the ever-present lure of your computer, smartphone, or iPad can pull you back into the stimulating world of information overload. You may think it's relaxing to peruse social media or surf the net, but it creates a low-level anxiety that contributes to the stress of burn-out. Reading a book, taking a walk, or talking to a friend are much better options for maintaining internal equanimity.
8. Try to stay out of your head. When you feel stressed and overwhelmed, your brain goes into overdrive with worry, looping thoughts, and negativity. The chaos of your outer life is triggering mental tornado as you try to analyze or think your way out of your situation. Notice your tendency to get trapped in your thoughts, and when this happens, distract yourself with something else. Go for a walk, focus on something creative, call a friend. Do anything to break the pattern of negative thinking that contributes to stress and burn-out.
9. Learn to meditate. One of the best ways to tame your anxiety, burn-out, and mental clutte[...]
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#motivation
10 things to start doing for yourself today
1. Start to improve your mind,body and spirit. "If you develop your mind, body and spirit, your time magically works for you. You get new perspectives that will allow you to achieve much more."
2. Start to trust yourself as you want people to trust you.
3. Expect the best from life. Expect the best — and you'll get the best. Open your eyes and realize that beautiful is already around you, it's already in you. Expect the best from yourself, from people around and life in General.
4. Develop a sense of gratitude. Begin to develop a sense of gratitude for every happy moment of his life. "Develop a sense of gratitude and say "thank you" for everything that happens to you. And remember that every step forward is approaching something great and wonderful.” Brian Tracy
5. Forgive all people who hurt you
6. Forgive yourself for mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes. If we are not mistaken — we do not develop, not grow. Forgive yourself and remember that forgiveness is a gift to yourself.
“Forgiveness is the highest,most beautiful form of love. In response You get a sense of peace and happiness.” Robert Muller
7. Let go of your life that you no longer need. Find the strength and courage to break free from those things that do not bring benefit, joy and happiness. There are always things and people that we don't want to let go. But letting go is not the end of the world, but the beginning of a new life!
8. Write your own story. Don't dwell on the past. Have a clear idea of what you want to see your future. But live the moment. The present moment is all that you have and that ever will be. Every time you look back on the past — you cross out the possibilities of his future.
9. Develop a relationship with yourself and with others. Love yourself before you love others, educate yourself before you educate others. Develop the relationship first with yourself before you can begin to develop them with other people!
10. Breathe consciously and deeply. When was the last time you listened to your breath? We forget how to breathe.
"Shallow breathing is the root of all evil but conscious deep breathing restores and protects our souls". Desmond Green
kind of safeness.
It may be keeping you from traveling and visiting new countries. You watch it all on TV, but the thought of having to navigate an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people is too hard to contemplate,so life gets smaller and smaller as the shyness takes you over.
It may be keeping you from the intimate relationship your heart craves for. You KNOW you want someone to love and to be loved in return, but the shyness keeps you stuck at home where you cannot meet anyone, so years go by and you are alone.
I could go on, but you know the pain of missed opportunities because of shyness. Feel the pain of it in this moment. 2. Recognize the importance of you.
In this step, I need you to realize something -- you are important.
What you feel in your heart, is important.
Your opinions matter.
The big vision you carry in your heart to do something to help other people and to create wealth for you – that is important.
For too long, you have given into the idea that what you want to do, WHO YOU ARE is irrelevant and unimportant. Shyness has got a hold on you, and it keeps you from living out that life, that dream life you see within your spirit and your heart.
Barrie's blog here is about living life and blooming. It is your time to live and bloom, and it begins by you doing this next step. 3. Make a decision.
Everything starts with a decision -- a simple internal choice to no longer allow shyness a hold on your life.
You now see just how much it has held you back, and you begin to realize that you are important and worthy.
It is time you make a quiet vow to overcome shyness.
There will not be magic and stars and lightning bolts to herald your decision, but it can be a momentous occasion for you.
If you do not have a journal, today would be a great day to get one and record the day you decided to stop allowing shyness to win. That is all that is required.
Too many wait for a voice from the heavens telling them to what to do or some magic bullet to create change, but you…
YOU begin to understand that the magic is YOU!
And so you make a silent decision that you will win. 4. Reinforce it daily.
How do you do this? You use affirmations.
Yes, you may have heard it before and maybe even tried it, but this is the thing -- you have been affirming your shyness for far longer than you have been affirming boldness.
And if you have tried to write out affirmations in the past and then quit, then you must see that the only reason it did not work was because the affirmations of shyness have been with you for a lot longer.
Each day, before you begin, create a little space to be alone and silent and decide again what you will do that day, who you will be.
"I am getting bolder and bolder every day."
"I choose to assert myself with my work mates today. My opinion matters."
"I am going to go to that party tonight."
"By this time next year, I will have visited two more countries abroad. I choose to broaden my experience of life."
These are examples that may work for you, or write out your own powerful affirmations.
Then practice them every day. Use different words each day, but just commit to continually reminding yourself of your plans and decision to overcome shyness. 5. Remember the work always works.
As much as I would love to say that all you need to do is affirm your decision, we all know that something more must be added to the mix – ACTION!
And this is where the darkness will threaten to overtake you, if you let it.
But every day, you will remember and reinforce your decision with affirmations, and then you will choose some action, some small action to help you move forward.
You will choose to refuse to go to bed without doing something little to push you out of your comfort zone. Something teeny-tiny.
Something, anything to help your affirmations and your decision to overcome shyness. There is no transformation[...]
📍Sex should be different and varied, and for a relationship that is particularly important. Psychologists have identified 7 types of sex, which is usually present in the relationship:
1.Slow sex
Rather, it is making love, not sex. Long foreplay, glides, enjoyment of each other... a Real pleasure!
2.Quick sex
Burning with desire, you just tear the clothes of each other and connect, sometimes not having to walk to the bedroom, or maybe you specifically want to do it on the table or in front of the mirror in the bathroom... Quick sex has a number of advantages, the most important of which are the following: if such sex is in your relationship, it means they have passion and this is very important.
3.Sex for one partner
It can be an enchanting and unforgettable Blowjob cunnilingus. Bringing pleasure to the partner, seeing his excitement and hearing the moans, you're sure myself excited, even though he is not for you. And who said that sex is for one partner can not go to, say, a quickie..?
4.Soothing sex
Yes, this also happens! This is a great way to relieve stress after a long day of work. The intima in this important constant eye contact with partner and complete relaxation.
5.Wild sex
Spare not: yell, swear, destroy furniture, scare the neighbors! And then, exhausted, but happy, allow yourself an hour or two of good sleep.
6.Sex "Girl on top"
Tie him up or cuff him to the bed, athletic or let them serve you – no matter how, most importantly, to feel like a mistress in the bedroom. And even if usually it is not like you to try it! You will love the new sensations!
7.Sex Man on top"
You're a meek little maid or sexual slave and languid, it binds you and does what he wants, or slaps, like in the movie "50 shades of grey", or rape, or... In General, fantasize, because fun may be hiding far beyond decent.
#Relationships
4 Things To Never Tell Yourself After A Breakup
💔After any breakup, there are moments of insanity. You begin to question motives, events, and every conversation during the relationship. Toxic thoughts take over. Even through the most amicable breakup, emotions are still hurtful. There are feelings of resentment, regrets, and anger. Some of us hibernate and deal with the breakups on our own, while others go out there and find a “replacement” for that ex. In the meantime, you are dealing with the negative committee in your mind. You are depressed, heartbroken, and second-guessing yourself.
HERE ARE 4 THINGS TO NEVER TELL YOURSELF AFTER A BREAKUP:
1. “I AM TOO OLD.”
Age has nothing to do with relationships. The older we get, it does seem to be impossible to deal with the breakups. You want to settle into a healthy and loving relationship. But, telling yourself that you are too old for this nonsense is not a proactive way of dealing with the hurt. You can’t shun yourself from the rest of the world. Each relationship that comes into your life is an opportunity to learn about yourself. You get a chance to emotionally evolve. Wisdom comes with time, experience and the ability to put things into perspective.
2. “I AM NOT WORTH IT.”
Some relationships leave a trail of devastation behind. Others leave sweet memories that overlap with the hard times. You are worth every beautiful moment you share with another. You do not have to put up with abuse. You do not have to entertain and own all the things your ex said to you through manipulation and anger. You are worth the most incredible things in this world.
Sure, you can give yourself a pity party. You can be the king or queen of it, and once it’s out of your system, recognize that you attract that which you put out. You are worth a loving mate. You are meaningful, invaluable and absolutely wonderful. The best and surest way to heal from a breakup is to provide self-love to you. Perhaps this person was the stepping stone to help you find your soulmate. He or she was preparing you for something better.
3. “HE OR SHE WILL REGRET IT.”
You aren’t responsible for someone else’s feelings. You are only responsible for how you react. To keep wishing that your ex will hurt, or be in complete despair, is actually putting negative thoughts in overdrive. In order to heal, you have to let that person go. Stop obsessing over how your ex will function or what they are thinking. It’s counterproductive. You can’t move on while you are still holding on to pieces of that person. Never regret anything in life, because every experience teaches you something about you. It provides insight on the things you need and deserve. If someone was meant to be in your life, that person would still be in it.
4. “IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.”
Unless you have a time machine at your disposal, it’s really difficult to change the past. You cannot go back and keep reliving the arguments and the moments that led to a breakup. In a relationship, it takes two to tango. To put all the fault on yourself, unless you acted out with anger, cheated, or did something inconceivably immoral, isn’t fair. Sometimes, relationships break apart because two people have outgrown each other. Other times, it’s a matter of distance and space. While, yet, in some instances, it is about the lack of communication. Do not go instilling a martyr attitude. As adults, we are able to project how we feel onto others. This is not the time to take all the issues on yourself. Whether it is your fault or not, it’s irrelevant once it’s over.
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more attention to it. Negative body language from others might include crossed arms, frequently looking away, moving or turning away from you, coughing or yawning frequently, or a forced smile.
These are signals that the person is bored, needs to leave, or is otherwise distracted. It may be rude on their part, but you don't want to continue talking with someone who has lost interest in talking with you.
10. Try to be yourself.
It's hard to be natural when you feel uncomfortable or awkward in a social setting. But being yourself is much more attractive than trying to act a certain way to impress or fit in.
Even being real with your discomfort is better than clamming up or over-doing it. Say Leo Babauta of Zen Habits, "Admit when you’re uncomfortable, and laugh about it. I’ve found this to be disarming — I say, 'I’m not good at meeting new people, so feel free to laugh at me if I mess up.'"
The real you is a unique and interesting person, so allow others to get to know that person. It may take some practice to feel more confident with being natural while socializing, but it takes a lot less energy to be authentic than it does to maintain a false persona.
11. Maintain perspective.
It may take some practice before you hit your stride with socializing comfortably. You may have occasions when you feel you've blown it or that people didn't like you.
But try to remember than most people pay more attention to their own feelings and needs than they do to yours. They are not nearly as focused on your perceived flaws as you fear they might be.
Even if you do something awkward or embarrassing, people have very short memories. And most people are compassionate, understanding, and forgiving. We've all had bad days and difficult social moments.
12. Return the favor.
A great way to practice socializing is to host a social event. This way you can gain confidence on your own turf while including people you know and feel good around.
But be sure to include some new people or those who have previously included you in an event who might not be your best friends. Stretch yourself so that you don't just socialize with the same crowd over and over.
You might ask your close friends to each bring a new friend so that you expand your circles and strengthen your socializing muscle.
Even if you feel confident with your socializing skills, it never hurts to pay a little more attention to your efforts in social settings. We all get complacent and comfortable with our standard lines, our old jokes, and the same groups we tend to spend time with.
The more you stretch and expand your social skills, the more opportunities you'll have for professional success, fulfilling relationships, and a joyful life.
The post 12 Socializing Skills To Skyrocket Your Confidence And Likeability appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
Live Bold and Bloom
12 Socializing Skills To Skyrocket Your Confidence And Likeability
There are two types of people in social settings who are difficult to interact with.
The first one hardly says a word. They don't initiate conversation or participate in small talk. They smile infrequently, have trouble making eye contact, and tend to stand apart from the group.
Everything about their body language screams, "I am so uncomfortable here." Their discomfort and awkwardness makes others in the room feel uncomfortable.
The other type is the one who enters the room like a bull in a china shop. They demand attention by dominating conversations, laughing too loudly, interrupting people, and showing little interest in what others have to say.
They can't read the mood of the room or understand the dynamic of the social setting. They plow through with their own agenda, not understanding why people start gravitating away from them.
You've probably met both of these people at social events in the past. Maybe you can relate to one or the other yourself.
We aren't born with social skills -- we have to learn them along the way from parents, peers, and life experience.
Some people have personality types that make socializing more of a challenge. Others may have missed out on having good role models or opportunities to learn these skills.
If you lack socializing skills, it becomes painfully self-evident as you enter your teens and grow into an adult. The unfortunate consequences of poor social skills can hinder your career, impact your romantic life, and leave you feeling isolated and lonely.
Whether you are shy and standoffish or tend to be too gregarious and unrestrained, you can improve your social prowess with awareness and practice. Here are 12 socializing skills to increase your confidence and attractiveness to others:
1. Prepare in advance.
Before you attend a social occasion, spend some time thinking about the event and what to expect. Is it a small gathering or a large one? Is it a celebration for someone or just a get-together? Is it a professional, formal event or casual and social?
Think about who will be attending, what their interests and personalities might be, and how you might be expected to interact. If you don't know any or many of the people attending, try to learn more about them before the event so you can mentally prepare some conversation topics.
If you know you tend to be timid or uncomfortable at these events, you might want to prepare a list of conversation starters to help you initiate discourse.
If you have dealt with social discomfort by being too dominant in the past, remind yourself to listen more, show interest in others, and pay more careful attention to conversation dynamics.
2. Dress the part.
If you already feel ill-at-ease in social settings, then wearing something that makes you stand out will only make you more uncomfortable add to your discomfort.
Whatever the occasion, wear something that reflects your style but doesn't make you feel you showed up at the wrong event.
You may need to contact the host to see if shorts and a t-shirt are fine, or if you need to wear your little black dress or suit and tie.
3. Bring a small gift.
It's nice to bring a small gift to the host or hostess of a social gathering as a way of thanking them for including you.
It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. Some flowers, a bottle of wine, or something you know they will enjoy (like a book or or scented candle) is a great way to break the ice as you walk in the door.
This gives you a reason to find the host or hostess, thank them for inviting you, and present the gift to them -- which often incites a conversation around whatever you happened to bring.
4. Smile and make eye contact.
These two actions alone are the most [...]
🔖#SocialLife🔖
What Have We Become? (And What Are We Becoming?)
Every day, we change. We move (slowly) toward the person we’ll end up being.
Not just us, but our organizations. Our political systems. Our culture.
Are you more generous than the you of five or ten years ago? More confident? More willing to explore?
Have you become more brittle? Selfish? Afraid?
Do we intentionally choose the optimistic path? Are we eagerly more open to change and possibility?
Every day we make the hard decisions that build a culture, an organization, a life.
Since yesterday, since last week, since you were twelve, have you been making deposits or withdrawals from the circles of supporters around you?
People don’t become selfish, hateful and afraid all at once. They do it gradually.
When we see the dystopian worlds depicted in movies and books, are we closer to those outcomes than a generation ago? Do we find ourselves taking actions that make our conversations more considered, our arguments more informed, our engagements more civil? Or precisely the opposite, because it’s easier?
Your brand, your company, your community: it has so much, is it
still playing the short game ?
When your great-grandfather arrives by time machine, what will you show him? What have you built, what are you building? When your great-grandchildren remember the choices we made, at a moment when we actually had a choice, what will they remember?
We are always becoming, and we can always make the choice to start becoming something else, if we care.
#Compassionate
The Myth of “I Should Have Done Better”
When we know better, we do better.©
I’m from the school of thought that we are all doing the best we can with the level of consciousness that we have achieved at any give time.
People do all manner of things that hurt others and that hurt themselves, but it’s because they haven’t yet learned to operate differently. They may not be healed from past emotional wounds. They may be repeating unskillful behaviors they learned from their families. They may not have cultivated strengths such as courage, patience, self-discipline, or patience, that allow them to be successful in their relationships and careers. And they haven’t yet learned to use the tools of communication and negotiation. But I’m convinced that we are all doing the best we can with what we know.
To believe that people are doing the best they can is a compassionate orientation. It does not mean that we condone actions that cause harm, nor does it mean that people can’t learn and grow. In fact, it is the recognition of the very pain that our choices cause to us and others that can be the catalyst for change.
I believe that those who are harshly judgmental of others, thinking that they should do better, do so because of their own perfectionism and due to a lack of compassion for themselves. Some people are full of judgments that they aren’t trying hard enough, that they are somehow lazy and trying to get away with making a less than full-hearted effort.
Consequently they judge themselves to be slackers. That negativity gets projected onto others, thinking that others should do better too.
When we are living from the belief that “I should do better," and “other people should do better," it sets us up for chronic judgment, resentment, and disappointment. It makes our life much more difficult. And yet, there are vast numbers of people who buy into the belief about “doing better.”
To continue operating from this notion is to continue the process of self-judgment, self-condemnation, and self-blame. Such an orientation is an ineffective attempt to shove ourselves to a higher level with bullying tactics such as insults, threats, and punishment. It is a misguided attempt to be responsible, when the truly responsible stance would be to accept our limitations as temporary and focus on what growth needs to take place so that we can actually become able to do better.
It’s important that the growth process be on the friendly, gentle, but firm side of the spectrum, rather than the shaming, blaming, self-righteous side for it to be most effective. To let go of the threatening style of roughly pushing ourselves requires self-compassion and patience and a sincere commitment to relate to ourselves with kindness while we learn to do better and to become a more evolved version of who we can be.
#HealthyLife
10 tips: how to take your life in your hands
Doing this everyday will change your life completely, We all need a happy life. Follow these tips
1. Make someone else smile. People postpone happiness on the back burner... For tomorrow the day after tomorrow... Hoard it for myself. But just one smile can change the world. Just make someone happy today, make him happy and smile. It will fill Your life with energy and warmth.
2. Be perfect. You're perfect, remember that, and still what others say and the world. World fashion standards – all makes you doubt your own perfection. We are perfect as we are. Remember this and start to live.
3. Enjoy what you're doing. Love the work you do every day, otherwise your life will turn into a gray routine. Do only what makes you smile. Without love for the work that you do, even in the big money, life will eventually be filled with a void that you won't be able to kick out.
4. Look at all just a little kindness. We walk and stumble. It happens all the time and nothing can be done. Don't cry, get up smile and go on. The darkest night has its finale... And dawn... and most Importantly wait for him.
5. Let go of your past. Let go of the past. Don't hold onto it. You still ahead, there would be a desire to go forward, and the forces there, and the burden of the past only a heavy burden on your shoulders.
6. Just breathe. I mean, when was the last time you breathed deeply. Haven't been on. Stand up, stop running and breathe deeply. And you will feel the wings on his back...
7. Find out something new. Don't just stand there. Drop the past and move forward. Learn what you interested, do not waste your time on stereotypes, and choose what pleases your heart and soul.
8. Look in the mirror and tell me how much you love the person in front. If you don't like your reflection, you don't love yourself. Love yourself the way you are. That silly smile in the mirror and it will smile back...
9. Pay attention to hidden opportunities. The people who surround us always was, is and will be the main stimulus in our lives. But over time you realize that you see from day to day, one and the same person. Look at man from a different angle and you will see something new in it and will gain new impetus.
10. Say "Yes" spontaneous desire. How long have you been doing something on a moment's notice... No... Everything is calculated, everything is thought out. Boredom and dullness... Begin to capture spontaneous steps and the world will smile to you.©
#InspirationEA
STOP GIVING YOUR LIFE AWAY........
📍Stop giving away your power. Start harnessing your strength.
📍Stop handing your happiness to someone else so they can keep it for themselves. Start taking care of your own needs.
📍Stop forgetting your inner child. Start embracing the youth that wants to come out and play.
📍Stop forgetting to laugh because it brings discomfort to another.
Start enjoying this journey. Stop trying to fix everyone else, just focus on your self.
📍Stop returning to the source of your pain thinking it will be different. Start forgiving, letting go, and moving on.
📍Stop making excuses for the person you love but doesn’t respect you. Start seeing the value of you, and getting the respect you deserve.
📍Stop trying to fit into what doesn’t work. Start fitting in to what works for you.
📍Stop fighting your ego. Start moving through your intuition because if it is making you sick it isn’t good for you.
📍Stop enabling destructive behavior. Start fostering your own positive growth.
📍Stop searching for truth when there is no capacity for authenticity through another. Grant yourself freedom to be yourself.
📍Stop putting everyone else in front of the line, forcing you to always be last. Start standing up for the place you know you deserve to be.
📍Stop promising another person things that make you stress and cause you anxiety. Start promising yourself the things that make you feel good.
📍Stop the injustice of disregarding self-respect in order to make another person feel empowered. You have the ability to be anything you want in life.
📍Stop thinking you’re unattractive. Start loving the beauty of all that you are.
📍Stop being afraid of fear. Remember that if you are here, it’s because you can handle it.
💡 Stop being stomped by your fear of success, moving on and living your desires.
💡Stop holding back your own blessings. You are not responsible for the state of someone else’s mental health. You are here to give the best part of yourself to the world. When you stop that flow you are stopping the source of love. Stop giving your life away because on your last breath your biggest regret will be that you gave away the joy of being you. You didn’t get to live the life you wanted. You didn’t accept the worthiness of your greatness. You are magnificent! Stop wasting your energy into believing otherwise.
⚜Sir ℳarita⚜
#LIFEHACKS
Bill Gates – People Who Changed the World
📍Today is the 1st time I write about a person who changed the world.
Bill Gates whose real name is William Henry Gates III – I guess many of you didn’t know that. Bill Gates has been part of the Richest people in the world for the past 26 years, he first showed up on the list at 1987 with net worth of $1.4 billion and after that his net worth continued to grow, so he held the first place from 1993-2007 but recently lost the first place to Carlos Slim according to Forbes. Time Magazine also named Bill Gates “one of the 100 people who most influenced the 20th Century.
SO HOW DID BILL GATES CHANGE THE WORLD?
He did change the world through technological innovation, keen business strategy and aggressive business tactics, and by charities, he has donated billions of dollars and continues to do it up to this day. He dropped out of Harvard to chase his entrepreneur carrier and so he and his partner Paul Allen built the world’s largest software business, Microsoft. And Microsoft changed the world completely, like 90 % Of the computers we use today, use Windows Operating System which is made by Microsoft and computers are actually the driving force of the world today, like almost everything is done by computers. So you can imagine the impact he had on the world. Now let me tell you how much money he has donated.. He has donated $37 billions in his life time and this number will continue to grow guys..
Bill Gates as almost every successful person is a true competitor, I would like to share a story with you not many people know. An executive at Microsoft says that after he showed Gates a game and managed to defeat him 35 of 37 times, when they met again a month later Gates “won or tied every game. He had studied the game and mastered it, so he wouldn’t lose again.
It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.
'-Bill Gates'
Like almost every successful entrepreneur in the world Bill Gates failed at first, before founding Microsoft he failed with his first business, but he learned his lessons. And that’s what this quote is all about, celebrate your success but learn your lessons when you fail.
If you are born poor, it’s not your mistake, but if you die poor it’s your mistake.
-'Bill Gates'
You can’t change the situation you are born into guys, you can’t dwell on the past but you can always change the future by changing the present. You decide your future, you decide if you are going to be rich or poor. So don’t blame others and focus on what you have to do in order to achieve what you want in life.
So thank you Bill for everything you have done.
Thank you for reading! If you liked the article please feel free to send Your feedbacks to me through Sir ℳarita which will be much appreciated as well..
r is through meditation. Meditation is simply a way of clearing your mind and harnessing your thoughts with the added benefits of improving your focus, well-being, and health. Here's a great introduction to meditation.
10. Examine the reason behind the reason. You experience burn-out for a reason -- you're working too hard, taking on too much, not taking care of yourself. But what's the reason behind that reason? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why do you feel the need or pressure to overdo it? Why do you accept a job you hate or feel the need to be perfect? You may need the help of a coach or counselor to ferret out the answer to this one, but once you do, you have the secret weapon for creating a life on your terms that is balanced, happy, and much less chaotic.
After reading this far, you know that being chronically burned out is sucking years from your life and undermining your health, happiness, and relationships.
If you are on the slippery slope of stress and overwhelm, about to descend into the quicksand of burnout, please catch yourself before you hit bottom. Nothing in your career or life is worth sacrificing your mental health. Step back, take a time out, give yourself a break, even if it makes others angry or unhappy with you.
I promise, it's much hard to recover from the rock bottom of emotional despair than it is from whatever perceived consequences you're imagining.
The post Burned Out? 10 Ways To Save Yourself From Hitting Rock Bottom appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
Live Bold and Bloom
Burned Out? 10 Ways To Save Yourself From Hitting Rock Bottom
You've gotten eight solid hours of sleep, and you slept like a rock.
But the minute your foot hits the floor, you want to fall back into the bed.
You drag yourself up, shuffle through your morning routine, and begin your day in a fog of exhaustion and malaise.
The smallest actions, from brushing your teeth to putting your breakfast dish away, feel overwhelming. Just the thought of facing the day ahead sends you into a mini panic attack.
All of your emotional reserves have been sucked away, and you have a sense of profound hopelessness and detachment. Every part of your being wants to curl up in a ball and hide in a dark room.
Or maybe you fantasize about running away to some remote destination where no one can find you, where phones and technology are forbidden, and you can bask in solitude for a week . . . or a month . . . or a year.
If you look back over the past weeks, or months, or years, you'll see that you've been operating on relentless overdrive. Your stress levels have been so prolonged and excessive that your body and your psyche are now engaged in a major revolt.
The result is burn-out. You've reached the end of your rope. All of that anxious energy that kept you going has evaporated and left you an empty shell.
Burnt out is the final destination on the stress express, and it's characterized by:
* Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
* Having low energy and feeling tired in spite of getting rest.
* Having insomnia or trouble staying asleep.
* Blunted or "frozen" emotions.
* Disengagement from what you once enjoyed or found interesting or important.
* Feeling detached, disillusioned, or depressed.
* Having an inability to focus and concentrate.
* Decline in performance at work or elsewhere.
* Having no motivation or enthusiasm.
* Feeling irritable, cynical, or impatient.
* Experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or muscle pain.
* Getting illnesses like colds and other infections more frequently.
* Isolating yourself.
* Procrastinating.
* Turning to food, drugs, or alcohol to cope.
* Having little concern for self-care, home care, or work performance.
These feelings are often the result of stress at your job, but life in general can trigger burn-out as well.
When your plate is overflowing with obligations, challenges, conflict, or even enjoyable endeavors, with little time to recoup and recharge, you can experience these symptoms.
You can feel burned out as a result of these situations:
On the job . . .
You feel you have little or no control over your work or the outcomes of your work.
Your good work isn't rewarded or acknowledged.
Your work isn't challenging, interesting, or rewarding.
There are no clear expectations or expectations are too demanding for your job.
You see no clear way of improving your situation.
You feel pressured to work long hours without enough downtime.
You work in a chaotic, stressful environment.
In your personal life . . .
You've over-scheduled yourself with too many commitments or activities.
You're dealing with an ongoing life challenge (an ill parent, a special needs child, etc.).
You don't have enough emotional and tangible support from others.
You don't take time for socializing, relaxing, and recharging.
You have an "adrenaline addiction" to busyness and stress.
Burn-out can happen to anyone, but often people with Type A personalities and perfectionist tendencies, or those who need to be in control, will get burned out more often.
By it's nature, burn-out is a progressive problem -- it doesn't just show up overnight. You burn your candle at both ends for weeks or months until you burn out.
If you have awareness about your tendency to experience it, and you[...]
#PostiveLiving©
Learn How to Take Yourself to a Higher, Happier Life Level
Human beings are a unique creation in the cosmic scheme of things. Unlike the untold billions of other life forms teaming on the Earth — whose nature is an open and shut case — human nature is not fixed. What does this mean to you? Only everything!
The tiger, the horse, and the bird must express their nature. They have no real choice. And even though they may be free to choose which part of the jungle, or open range, in which they want to feed and roam, these animals have no choice as to the kind of world in which they must dwell.
The tiger can’t choose to live above the jungle floor any more than a shark can decide to soar through blue skies. The tiger, horse, bird, and shark must live where they do because of what they are. Try to see this deeply.
The tiger’s nature determines its life. And that life is a part of the jungle floor. They are inseparable. The tiger’s nature and its life level are one thing. The tiger’s life level determines the world it must inhabit. Its nature and life level are as fixed as a leopards spots.
But your nature is not fixed. This is spiritual fact. And now you must turn this powerful fact into your discovery and personal experience.
Why spend your life in a steamy jungle of roaring thoughts, or in a dark valley filled with sad and worried emotions when, by choosing higher, you can live happier? Your days can be as cool and relaxed as a clear mountain stream, if you decide that’s the life you want.
But, decide you must. What very few men and women ever come to realize, spiritually speaking, is that life is a ceaseless series of inner choices about where they want to live. And even though we may not fully understand the nature of these choices, or why they must be made, to not choose is to lose. Here’s why.
The complete range of life-level possibilities, from the conflict-filled jungle floor to the serene mountaintop, all exist right within your own uninvestigated nature. And to not choose the upward path through this life is to resign yourself to the laws of gravity — which always choose in favor of their own nature: down.
A mental picture will help bring some of these important invisible concepts into clearer view.
Imagine a huge mansion with unlimited floors. Now further envision that each floor in this mansion represents one life level out of all of the countless possibilities. If it’s helpful, think of this mansion as representing your True Nature.
But, to bring our illustration down to earth, think of the largest department store you’ve ever shopped. Like the mansion in our mental picture, each floor of the department store displays and offers items peculiar only to it. You won’t find guns and ammo sold on the same floor as books of learning; nor do you find automotive supplies where delicate lace is displayed. And so, in much the same way, the level of each of the floors in our inner mansion determine the life choices available on it.
For instance, as long as you live in the basement of this mansion, you can’t choose to enjoy the unrestricted cool air and natural sunlight of the first floor resting just above it. Similarly, on the second floor you can’t choose to see the beauty and panorama of the view that only the fifth floor and higher can offer. And so on it goes, all the way to higher and higher floors.
Your life experiences are determined by which of these “floors” you dwell upon. This means that each floor represents a possible life level. But, while each of these inner levels and the natural events attracted to them may be fixed, you are not. Unlike the tiger that can’t leave the land of the tiger, you can leave any troubling part of your own present nature far behind you.
until there is action and honey, the work ALWAYS works!
So, daily, think of something you can do to confirm to yourself that you are indeed getting bolder and bolder.
Speak to a new person.
Say "yes" to the invitation.
Share your ideas in the meeting.
Start planning your vacation.
Don't let the internal discomfort stop you this time. Discomfort won't kill you. It can't even stop you unless you let it. 6. Ignore the critics.
Let me warn you now. There will be critics who seek to keep you in what they think is your place as you start to assert yourself and become the person you are born to be.
Some will be uncomfortable with the new you and will try to get you to remain the same.
Some will be people who don’t care about you at all and those are the ones who are easy to ignore – so ignore them!
Some of these voices will be people who absolutely love you. They will see you pushing past your comfort zone, and when they see your discomfort, they will want to help you.
Unfortunately, their help feels like an attempt hold you back because they don't want you to get hurt.
You have to learn to ignore them too.
Do not get angry – your loved ones mean well. They just do not understand that you have to walk through what may feel like fire at times, in order to rise up stronger then ever before.
See the love behind the annoying behavior and the lack of belief in you and keep moving forward. Keep expanding. Keep being more! 7. Tap into love, tap into spirit, tap into sexuality.
I want to share three key ideas to end this post.
Whatever your story happens to be, you may feel unloved. It's hard to come from that place and win against shyness.
All around you, I can assure you that universe, spirit, higher power, or your own inner wisdom, has been trying to remind you that you are loved. It is a simple decision to begin looking for that love everywhere.
As you have sunk deeper and deeper into a crippling form of shyness, you may have felt that everything was against you.
Now, actively choose to look for love. Love is a superpower that not many coaches like me would mention in this way, but it is essential that you KNOW you are loved.
There is no mistake about you. There's nothing to be guilty or ashamed of. There's no mistake too big that love cannot cover, no fear of punishment from some higher power…
None of that – YOU ARE LOVED.
And when you choose to see and believe that, it empowers you greatly.
If you are spiritually minded, reconnect with higher power and feel that flow of energy coursing through you. Realize just how much you are cared for, how connected you are to the bigger plan.
Allow that feeling to convince you to continually do the work to win the battle with shyness.
And this is a strange reminder, I know, but your sexual energy is a power like nothing else – it literally creates life.
If you can learn to tap in to your sexual desire and energy, and focus it on the steps outlined above, you will find it a whole lot easier to get into action.
I know it all sounds a little weird, but if you have read the awesome book, Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, you will see that this is not a novel idea. Sexual energy is powerful and can propel you like nothing else.
And there you have it – a comprehensive plan of attack to overcome shyness. There's no better time than right now to get started.
Author Bio
Rosemary used to be a pharmacist feeling her life force draining out of her, so she made the successful transition to setting up her own property business. She now works with men and women to raise their visibility online and get more clients. Get the free report on getting your message out, raising your visibility, and attracting in your ideal customers and clients here: 21 Ways To Get Your Message Out
The post Overcome Shyness With 7 Fear-Smashing Actions appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
Live Bold and Bloom
Overcome Shyness With 7 Fear-Smashing Actions
I still remember walking up onto the stage, ready to play some classical piece on the piano (the name escapes me now).
I had just been sitting down with a younger friend of mine who looked up to me as a mentor.
I had assured her and encouraged her that she could play her piece at this piano recital where adults were watching us and she had seemed super-scared.
And so, she had gone on up, done her bit, done it really well…
And now it was my turn to shine.
I heard my name. I walked up slowly, feeling the eyes on me, feeling the cloud of panic descend on my 11-year-old self.
And I finally sat down at the grand piano, put my very thick and wooden-feeling fingers on the keys -- and fumbled.
I could see the piece of music in front of me, but I could not remember any of the hours of practice. I was overcome with shyness, with fear, and I panicked.
I could see the confusion in my mum’s eyes as she watched on. She knew I knew what to do, and she hoped I would not shame her. But I felt paralyzed. My shyness had overcome me at the worst possible time.
Thankfully, in that moment, all those hours of practice came to the rescue.
My fingers gained a life of their own and they played a tune that was not on the agenda but one that they remembered because I actually loved this piece – some rocky, modern tune, definitely not in fitting with the occasion but it meant I played something, rather than sitting there like a fool!
My teacher was slightly confused and looked at the music to make sure I had the right piece in front of me but there was no going back now. I just let my fingers do their thing while my emotions settled down a little and longed to run off the stage.
Thankfully, I finished and none of the audience members guessed that I was so nervous. They even claimed to have enjoyed my rocky interlude, as it broke up the boring classical tunes my colleagues and I had been forced to learn and crank out.
This was just one incident where my shyness reared its ugly head at the most inopportune moment, and more often than not, it didn't turn out so well.
To look at me now, you would never guess that I used to be so shy growing up. Until my early twenties, I wanted to hide, to never ever be seen. Yes, I had all the big dreams and ideas that I have now, but I was too shy to have ever made them happen.
You may be experiencing chronic shyness, too scared to put yourself out in the world, holding back from doing all the things you dream of, staying alone when you would rather be in relationship.
But the idea of being seen scares the living daylights out of you, and so you live a life of longing for more but never quite able to reach it.
Fortunately, shyness isn't a life sentence. You can practice skills to help you push past the discomfort and fear to feel more confident and self-assured. Here's how to overcome shyness with 7 fear-smashing steps: 1. Remember the bad times.
This is a harsh first step but one that will help you see what shyness is doing to you.
Set aside a little time to remember all the things you want to do that shyness is keeping from you. Let it hurt, cry about it, feel the pain of it, because it is only as you speed your way to rock-bottom that you can start to take steps back up.
And when you hit rock-bottom by choice, guess what?! You do not have to stay there. You can keep following the steps and ideas in this post and figure out a route of escape.
But first face the fact that by remaining shy, you are preventing yourself from living a life of significance and impact.
It may be keeping you from having friends.
It may be keeping you from speaking your mind, so you put up with any nonsense from anyone and go along with it because it feels like a weird [...]
#attitude
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Are you optimistic and upbeat? Will you generate good energy and good will?
A positive attitude in the workplace can help you whether you own your own business, work as an employee, or manage others within a business environment. You’ll enjoy your work more and achieve your workplace or business related goals more easily and faster.
Cynicism and sarcasm are widely prevalent in today’s workplace, and both can bring you and your coworkers down quickly. While you may not be able to control the mood of the entire workplace, you are always in control of your own attitude each day
.Use these 8 tips for developing a positive attitude in the workplace:©
1.Gratitude – Be appreciative of everyone who does a good job and gets things done on time. Be especially appreciative of those who go above and beyond what they’re required to do. Appreciation feels good for both the giver and the receiver. See my page on gratitude for more information.
2. Celebrate the Victories - For some reason, many people tend to focus on everything they don’t like and that’s going wrong. Try instead to focus your attention on things that are going well by taking time often to celebrate the victories at work. Reward yourself or praise another individual for a job well done. If you’re part of a team that does something successfully, arrange a get-together to celebrate it. If you’re a manager, send frequent notes out to your staff outlining things that are going well for the company.
3. Turn Problems Into Opportunities – If problems are encountered, don’t just focus on them. Instead, change your focus by asking yourself or your team, “How can we solve this issue, and what can we learn from it?” Every problem, or challenge, is an opportunity to learn and grow. Don’t wallow in the issue; focus on the potential to become better instead.
4. Keep Healthy and Well Rested – It’s tough to have a positive attitude when you’re feeling run down and tired. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, drinking enough water, and getting regular exercise. This may all sound time-consuming, but you’ll end up having much more energy and focus and you’ll actually be able to get more done in less time. You’ll also feel much better mentally, which will help you maintain that positive attitude.
5. Smile– Force yourself to smile, even if you don’t feel like it. A smile will actually shift how you feel internally. And when others see you smiling, they feel better as well.
6. The “No Complaining” Policy – No one likes a complainer. If you’re a manager, tell your team that you would like them to not come to you with an issue unless they have a proposed solution to go with it. If you report to someone else, refrain from whining to them. Instead, go to your boss and explain that you have a challenge and would like to offer a way to solve it. This both minimizes complaining and turns the focus away from the issue and to possible solutions instead, thereby maintaining a constructive work environment.
7. The Win–Win Policy – Make it your own personal philosophy or make it a requirement in your workplace that each agreement reached must be win–win. Agreements and negotiations must never favor one party. There is always a way to make agreements positive for both parties involved. Ask “What would be good for you?”Once they and you have answered that question, do your best to work out a solution that implements as any many of the good ideas for both sides as possible.
8. Put People Into Positions that Use Their Strengths– What better way for people to enjoy their job than to have them doing things they’re good at and that they enjoy. People will be more motivated and get better results when they enjoy what they do. Some people like crunching numbers: get them to work on the spreadsheets that need to be done. Others like talking to people: maybe they would like working in customer service. Some people are natural problem solvers: put their skills to use.
#communication
💡Golden rules of communication that should be remembered by all
1. Do not hoard resentment – it's worth it. You must learn to forgive. It is necessary not to the other, and in the first place. It is not necessary to continue to communicate with the offender.
2. No offense to the children to what they don't understand. To understand you have to pass the same life cycle. Between your large temporal distance. It was and will be. Problem of fathers and children – the eternal problem.
3. Do good. Don't expect that others love you and respect you. Learn how to get pleasure from what you give and do good when there is a call of the soul, but not when you are forcing.
"Blessed is He who expects nothing because he will not be disappointed" (A. Pop).
4. Don't wait! "Criticism is useless because it forces the person to defend as a general rule, you should strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it strikes at his pride, serves the sense of self-importance and causes resentment" (D. The Carnegie).
5. I don't argue. Anyway, no one can prove anything. Each in his way. Still others can't understand you because he has a different life experience.
"There's only one way to win an argument is to avoid it" (D. The Carnegie).
6. Do not overload the past about if you don't ask. Any action imposed, even love-is aggression.
7. Make the other person's behavior, try to take into account the situation and circumstances. We have a positive image of "i" is largely due to the fact that we are unable to forgive yourself for inappropriate behavior, citing the unfavorable situation and circumstances, but do not forgive another, building a picture, based on the situation and circumstances.
8. Don't demand nor expect from other similarities. There are different "types" of people with different levels of consciousness and self-awareness. These types of differences among human beings are the same as between different kinds of animals (ant, elephant, monkey, etc.). But even among individuals of the same species there are individual differences. So don't be surprised of the difference of thoughts and actions, motivations and values.
#business, #Communication, #Strength
What is the strength in money or thinking?
There is a widespread opinion that the difference between a rich man from a poor measured in the quantity of money. This is actually a myth. There is, of course, a grain of truth, but it is only mathematical, external factor.
In fact, the main difference between the rich (or rather, entrepreneur) from the poor is a different way of thinking.
📍Once Henry Ford said,
-What will You do, if you lose all your fortune?
-I'll start from the beginning, and after 5 years will achieve the same financial success, " said Ford.
It's a proven fact! If the entrepreneur is your business, but at some point he will lose everything, then after a while likely he'll return.
If the poor happen to be rich (inherited, a pleasant coincidence) soon, almost guaranteed, this money will again be the "rich thinking." Poor, almost guaranteed, will not take bold steps to increase their capital. And all this because of the second factor - the fear of making a mistake.
It is the fear of "mistakes" with the tenacity begin to instill in us since elementary school, then in the case enters the colleges, universities, etc. Why is this happening?
It's very simple, - the main idea of the school curriculum in the CIS has not changed since the times of the Soviet Union. And the idea was very simple: to prepare qualified PERFORMERS who will not ask and WHY? Who will perform the tasks assigned to them by others.
Very often, unfortunately, this idea does not understand our parents, preaching ideas "to be right", "good student" and "not stand out".
Yes forget about it! Dare to be different! And get a buzz from it! Don't have to do every day, but sometimes it just needs to be done. Gray personality his entire adult life will be gray, if not dare to be different.
DO ERROR! The only way to grow and achieve success.
A lot of people are afraid that they will fail or the money invested, will not bring result. No need to fear, but if it does happen - use it to your advantage, and further use this experience.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES!
It is the inactivity, the avoidance of risk is the greatest risk.
True entrepreneurs are not afraid to stand out or someday fall, falling - always rise, make new mistakes, and back up. Take their example!
important in any social setting. A smile is an immediate invitation to others letting them know you are approachable and friendly.
When you encounter a new person at a social event, look them in the eye, offer a natural smile, and introduce yourself with an easy follow-up question like, "How do you know Bob and Mary?"
Smiling and appropriate eye contact (not a creepy stare) can make up for any other awkwardness you might feel.
5. Listen and show interest.
Nothing is more flattering than being heard. When someone is speaking, listen to what they are saying and show that you are listening by nodding your head, smiling appropriately, and making follow-up comments or asking great questions.
Try not to redirect the conversation to you or what you want to say until you've given the other person the time and interest the conversation merits.
When the other person is speaking, look at them -- not at your phone, the person across the room, or at your feet.
Being curious about other people is an extremely attractive attribute. People are fascinating and have amazing stories to tell, so give them the invitation to open themselves up to you.
6. Understand the art of conversation.
A good conversation with one or more people is a dance that involves give and take. Everyone should feel included and free to jump into the dialog.
Unless the event is a lecture or someone is telling a story, each member of the group should have a chance to speak and share their thoughts without fear of ridicule or interruption.
One of the most off-putting things you can do is rant about a topic or act like a know-it-all. Respect the opinions and ideas of others, even if you disagree with them.
Avoid getting into heated debates or prickly exchanges that can make everyone else feel awkward.
7. Be positive and optimistic.
There's plenty going on in the world that is negative and unpleasant. And there may be situations in your own life that are difficult and painful.
These topics might come up in the course of conversation, but they aren't topics to dwell on in a group social setting that's meant to be pleasant, educational, or celebratory.
People generally attend social events for fun and entertainment, and they don't want the buzz kill of focusing too much on politics, tragedy, or negativity.
A professional event is not the place to give the details of your upcoming gall bladder surgery or gossip about a co-workers nasty divorce.
Try to keep the conversation positive and lighthearted so others don't feel burdened or distressed. Politics, religion, and other potentially controversial topics are generally best avoided.
8. Expand your circles and branch out.
Most of us tend to gravitate toward people we know or those who seem like us when we're at a social event.
Rather than locking yourself into your regular group, challenge yourself to expand the circle of people you meet and talk to at an event.
If you notice a group of people chatting, introduce yourself and ask if you can join them. You can say something like, "I haven't met you before, and I wanted to make sure I had a chance to talk with you."
Often there will be one or two people at a gathering who look out of place or uncomfortable. Make a point to reach out to them and include them in the conversation. Make it your mission to bring people and conversations together. You never know how this might expand your social life or afford professional opportunities.
9. Learn to read body language.
Have you ever been around the person who doesn't notice when people are yawning, looking at their watches, or trying to move toward the door?
Some people seem to be oblivious to the subtle and not-so-subtle cues they are getting from the people around them. They don't know when to stop talking or take a pause to allow someone else to speak.
If you're not adept at reading body language, start paying [...]
#Communication, #Motivation
How To Control Your Emotions Effectively©
Managing your emotions is very much a question of choice. Do you want to, or not? So much has been written about emotions and how to deal with them effectively, yet many people can’t control this area of life. Why? Managing emotions effectively is actually like developing a skill or a habit. It is a way of doing something better, and as humans we struggle with change the most.
Changing the way you usually do something is not easy and it is even more difficult when it comes to emotions. When we are feeling ‘emotional,’ the last thing we want to do is calm down and try to deal with the situation pro-actively, we most often want to rant about what is upsetting us.
If we understand a little more about how our emotions work, we are in a much better position to use this information to our advantage. Learning to control your emotions can be one of the best skills you will ever develop in your life. Your emotions lead to the actions you take and therefore create the life you are experiencing now, every part of it.
Our emotional part of the brain, the limbic system, is one of the oldest parts when compared, for example, to our prefrontal cortex, which is our ‘thinking’ part. Because our emotional part is so old, and therefore an extremely strong part of the brain, it is understandable that it feels like our emotions run us and hijack our thinking at times. The average person’s emotional part of the brain is over six billion times more active than the prefrontal cortex.
The point is, your emotions will naturally hijack your thinking—this is a given—but there are still ways to deal with this.
To keep things simple, let’s look at what you can do to flip this situation around. Ignoring emotions, suppressing them or not dealing with them will come back to bite you! Stress and anxiety come from suppressed emotions, so if you think that dealing with your emotions by ignoring them is going to work, you are sorely wrong.
Here are three simple steps to start controlling your emotions effectively.
1. The first step is awareness.
If you are not aware of the times when you are overly emotional or overreacting, how can you try to manage it? It is impossible. Start to monitor your emotions and give names to them. Sometimes we find it difficult to identify what we are feeling. Giving it a name helps us gain clarity, which is essential in moving forward.
2. Discover the ‘why’ of your emotions.
Once you have identified how you are feeling, you want to discover why you are feeling it. What is causing this feeling inside you? Of course, there could be a million reasons, and to find out you have to ask yourself, like you would a friend, “What is wrong? What is causing me to feel this way?” Your mind will always look for an answer. Most of the time, simply the way you are thinking about the situation is causing you to feel the way you do. Another huge reason why we feel negative emotions is because our values are not present in that moment or being respected. Remember: discover the ‘why.’
3. Then ask yourself, “What is the solution?”
Once you have discovered why, what can you do to take back control? Sometimes you might need to change the way you are thinking about the situation. You see, your thoughts lead directly to your feelings, so if you are feeling bad, you most likely have a negative thought that is making you feel that way. If you start thinking of other possible ways of looking at the situation, you will begin to feel better immediately. What you focus on expands!
Sometimes by simply understanding why you feel a certain way at a certain time, your emotions will start to diminish because understanding always leads to calming.
To your success! What do you choose? Let us know through comment box
#Releationship©
Relationship etiquette: checking up on your partner
Some people are very open and reveal a lot about themselves straight away while others are more reserved and it can take years to really get to know them. This can be frustrating especially if it is accompanied by doubts or questions that you feel you need the answer to for your own peace of mind. If the questions are things like whether they are still in touch with their ex partner? What they got up to on the weekend away with their friends etc. It may be tempting to resort to other means to find out, but is this ok?
Trusting one another
In all relationships, not just romantic ones, trust is what makes them healthy and lasting. How easy we find it to trust others will depend very much on our past experiences. Some people approach new relationships completely trusting their partner until they are proved otherwise; others won’t trust anyone at all until that trust has been earned. Whatever your approach, how much you trust and how secure you are in yourself will have a huge impact on whether you will feel compelled to check up on your partner. Secure people, with lots of trust usually never feel the need to check up on their partners – it wouldn’t enter their head, maybe because they have never really had their trust broken.
If you have been hurt in the past you may justify checking up on your partner because you don’t want to be hurt in the same way again. The trouble is that by checking up on them you are actually breaking their trust and your actions could undermine the relationship – so by worrying that there is a problem you could end up creating one.
Building a case
Worrying that someone could be cheating on you, or that they don’t love you can prompt you to go looking for proof. The trouble is that you will probably find it; or rather you will find things that you interpret as proof. It is not a case of discounting your gut instinct. If you are normally a trusting person but you keep getting the feeling that something doesn’t add up you should take notice of that feeling. It is far better to confront someone directly than go behind their back. Tying to dig out information surreptitiously will mean that if you confront your partner with the evidence they can quite rightly accuse you of being dishonest too.
Modern technology
It is easier now than ever before to keep an eye on a partner’s activities through mobile phone messages and social media. Most of us keep up to date with each other in this way and there is no harm in it – we check each other’s face book statuses, read tweets and blogs and keep in touch via email and text message. Most people have nothing to hide and anything that is put on social networks is there because they are happy for everyone to see it. The line is crossed between honestly keeping in touch and dishonestly checking up when you start doing things that you know your partner wouldn’t be happy about, like logging onto their email or Facebook account without permission or checking their text messages when they are out of the room. If you feel uncomfortable about doing it, or suspect they would be angry if they found out, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it – you wouldn’t read someone’s diary so why would you read their private messages?
If you find yourself being drawn into this kind of behaviour with every relationship you embark on then it could be that you are suffering from low self-esteem. Until you tackle it your insecurity will stop any relationship from being able to flourish no matter how trustworthy the other person is.
Turn the tables
The other way to tell if you are doing something unacceptable is to ask yourself how you would feel if your partner did it to you. Would you feel it was an invasion of privacy? Would you prefer them to talk to you about any doubts or concerns they have? Just because we get into a relationship with someone doesn’t give them automatic access to all our private information.
#BrainEA
A few exercises for the brain: a very strange but very useful
In 1936, American writer Dorothy brand in his book "Wake Up and Live" ("Wake up and live") offered some fun exercises for the brain that will help make your mind sharper and flexible. These exercises are designed to get you out of your habitual environment, show a different perspective (even different reality, if you want) and create a situation which will require ingenuity and creative solution.©
So, here are these exercises. Develop the brain.
1. Spend 1 hour per day without saying anything, only answering direct questions, in their normal environment without creating the impression that you are offended or not in the mood. Behave normal as possible. Make no comments and resist the attempts to extract from you.
2. 30 minutes a day think about a single subject without being distracted more than anything. You can start with five minutes.
3. 15 minutes a day keep a communication without using words "I, me, mine."
4. Stop at the threshold of any crowded with people premises and thoughtfully evaluate its dimensions.
5. Let your new friend spoke only about themselves, not allowing him to realize this. Polite questions return it in the direction of mutual conversation so that he didn't feel the negativity.
6. Try to talk only about themselves, not boasting, not complaining and not forcing interlocutors to miss.
7. Make a strict plan for two hours a day and strictly follow the plan.
8. Give yourself 12 random tasks, for example: go 20 miles from home without the use of any special tools; go 12 hours without food; Breakfast in the most unexpected and unlikely place that you can find; say nothing all day except answers to the questions; do not sleep all night and work.
9. During the day, say "Yes" to all questions and proposals ( within reason)
These exercises may seem silly and useless, but in fact they can make your life a lot and get to know yourself better . that's why I have shared.
💡 For Help and Support reach me at Sir ℳarita
#BeRight
Do You Like to Be Right?
“Choose being kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time.”©
I’ll admit that I have liked to be right. Actually it’s more accurate to say that my ego has liked to be right. Has yours? It’s okay to admit it. There is a sense of satisfaction and gratification that we get when perceived as right. Our egos feel validated, which is great if we want to live our lives chasing after egoic highs. But I have a feeling you’d much rather chase after heart highs that last, wouldn’t you?
If you answered YES, you have got to totally give up any desire to be right.
I had an opportunity to practice this last week after I received an email from a friend that I judged as rather reactive and rude. My choice was not to respond at all. Why dignify it with a response?
(Do you hear the righteousness?). A few days later I did respond and shared I did not feel comfortable engaging with my friend. To that I received another email in which he went into a lot explanation of his experience of the situation and how he perceived my actions. My ego was tempted to justify, defend, explain myself…in other words be “right.”
Instead I stopped and asked myself, “Would I rather be right or be loving?”
That question totally shifted my energy from my ego to my heart. I was able read between the lines of my friend’s email and see that he, like ALL of us, just desires to be understood and loved. It was clear to me that I was no more right than he was – we were both just hurt. Moving into further justification or explanation would have exacerbated the situation and gotten us into a tit for tat type of argument. Ever been in one of those? They are no fun and completely unproductive!
When I surrendered my desire to be right or have my point and actions understood, I was able to respond in a loving way, apologize for my end of things, and create a more loving space for both of us to step into. And it feels so much better to feel loving toward my friend than it does to be right!!
I encourage you to look at areas in your life where you are attached to being right. Where are you holding grudges in relationships? Who are you outsourcing your energy to because you are waiting for them to see things from your perspective? What are you obsessing about because you feel wronged? How are you blocking love from your life by your ego’s desire to prove something?
Choosing love over being right is your key to freedom. Now that doesn’t mean you allow people to walk all over you and have no boundaries in your life. It is possible to be loving AND be clear in your communication with others. But once you express yourself, let it go. Don’t wait to be free inside until you are acknowledged for being right.
When you get off your position, you create possibilities for miracles.
When you let go of the need to be right and hang on to your core essence of being love, you experience freedom.
When you stop caring whether anyone else understands your point of view, you will understand yourself and others even more.
When you fall in love with forgiveness and out of lust with righteousness, you will experience heart highs (which are so much better than ego highs!).
Let yourself and anyone else off the hook. Your attachment to your position or story is not serving you. We are all doing the very best we can in every moment. Remember that. Even the people you judged as wrong are doing the best they can. Uplevel your best today by surrendering any desire to be right. Be happy and free instead.
#LifestyleEA
10 principles of Zen that can change you
Immerse yourself in the true sense of things, which will help you to change, or at least different priorities
Zen is a specific condition, it is art to live in the present, feel a part of the whole, understanding the true meaning of things. We call it a sense of awareness. Kluber has collected a total of ten short principles, the knowledge which will change you. For this you do not need to sit some Turkish, to breathe stomach, and exhale to remove all the air. Just accept this truth and it will change your life!
So, here are 10 principles of Zen that will force you to change:
1. Get a life. Don't start to prepare for life, which will be in the future.
2. Make as many mistakes as possible, just remember one thing: don't make the same mistake twice. And you will grow.
3. If you want to live, then learn one: to accept things as they are, and accept yourself for who you are.
4. If you love a person, you're not going to interfere in his personal life. You will not dare to break the boundaries of his inner world.
5. Stop thinking how to receive love, and begin to give. By giving you gain. There is no other way.
6. All the suffering in the world stem from the fact that you completely forgot that you need to live, you began to be engaged in activities that are irrelevant to life.
7. You should know that freedom is the highest value and if love does not give you freedom it is not love.
8. Everyone teaches someone else how he should be, and no one ever seems satisfied.
9. If you're rich, don't think about it, if you are poor — don't take your poverty seriously.
10. You're a big fan of creating problems... just understand this and suddenly problems disappear.©
#EnlightenedLivingEA
Leveling Up Your Emotional Intelligence
Moving from reaction to response to reflection
One of the hall marks of emotional intelligence is the ability to respond to a situation, rather than react to it. We are at our basest when we react to external situations or events, allowing those experiences to control our behavior. Through the development of self-awareness, we move away from this external orientation toward one that is more interior in nature. As this happens, we become more and more cognizant of our thoughts and feelings, giving us increasing access to our interior landscape.
When we react, we are literally being hijacked by our emotions, or, more to the point, overwhelmed by a physio-emotional response driven by a brain structure called the amygdala. The amygdalae (pl.) are two almond shaped nuclei—a cluster of densely packed neurons—located medially in the temporal lobes of the brain. It is one of the more thoroughly understood regions of the brain, particularly with regard to gender differences. Research shows it to be integral to memory, decision-making and, most importantly for this conversation, emotional reactions.
As we mature, moving away from a purely exterior orientation to one that is more interior and balanced, we begin to lay the foundation of emotional regulation. That’s not to say we can’t fall back into reacting to external stimuli. When we do, however, we are more likely to be aware of what’s going on for us, rather than just having a tantrum in the face of not getting our needs or expectations met.
This self-awareness leads us to other-awareness. In other words, we begin to develop sympathy in its truest sense—a commonality of feeling—with others. With this in hand, we are open to developing empathy, where we are not simply sharing feelings with others, but understanding their experience. The resonance created by this understanding and attendant empathy is at the heart of moving from reacting to responding.
When we are in this matrix of sympathy, empathy and understanding, we are not only with our own feelings, but with the feelings of another person. When that connection extends beyond a single person to a group or the larger community, we move out of the egocentricity of empathy and into the ethno- and geo-centricity of compassion. Exercising compassion demands that we stay inside. By staying inside, and not letting ourselves get pulled off center by the situations or events outside us, we move into an even more subtle level of emotional intelligence—from responding to reflecting.
Exercising compassion means holding space. Reflection, on the other hand, is about holding the space. The subtle difference here is that holding space, from the perspective of Buddhist psychology, is about accepting and allowing for the experience of another person—being with it and being with them. Holding the space, by contrast, means holding the container of experience and staying centered in it so the accepting and allowing of compassion can happen. The former—holding space—is an expression of witnessing the emotional experience of an individual or community. The latter—holding the space—extends beyond witnessing into active participation. Reflection transforms compassionate understanding into an act of authentic tenderness and humanity that raises not only our own level of emotional intelligence, but weaves that ethos into the larger fabric of society, hopefully for the greater good.©