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A Quote Motivates You, Inspires You, Gives You Will. But The Work Have To Be Done By You. Audiobook , E-Book,Entrepreneur Magazine - every Week You Can Do It, Keep Moving Forward.🖤
These are just a few of the beautiful yet frightening things that we can never truly be ready for. Like falling in love, taking exams, or speaking in public. It’s human nature to go over what could go wrong in your head. That’s why we prepare. Despite the nights of constant practice or studying though, life often still finds a way to surprise us.
Don’t Worry: You’re ReadyOkay: so if you can’t truly be ready for something, why bother preparing? Why go through all that anxiety or why even try, when you may not be up to it in the end?
I heard before that we can only truly know something once we try it. Even if we did fail at it, at least we now know for sure that perhaps it wasn’t for us. But until we dive into the depths of the unknown, it will remain a mystery.
I’m not sure which will hurt more: knowing you should’ve but you didn’t; or you did, but you failed at it?
I wasn’t ready to move to new places, or be promoted, or to talk in front of an audience. But had I NOT taken the chance, maybe I wouldn’t be the person I am now. Perhaps I wouldn’t have known that I can make people smile, that I can be independent, and that I can take the pressures of work.
“We’ll never be ready. So I guess that means we’re as ready as we’ll ever be.” ― Neal Shusterman
There are two kinds of people in this world: there are those who know they’re not ready, so they wait for the opportune moment until everything’s perfect – and then there are those who understand they can never really be ready, so they plunge in anyway.
Which one are you?
@expertadvice
, enhance creativity, and potentially lead you to a life passion. 8. In Your Personal Growth
A huge leap in personal evolution occurs with the realization that you are responsible for your happiness.
You can choose to spend time dwelling on the ways your life isn't passionate, or you can choose to find happiness where you are right now -- as you work toward your life passion.
Being proactive about your personal and emotional development is one of the most valuable and life-altering ways to spend your time.
You can do this by reading books, blogs, and articles that focus on evolutionary change and growth in all areas of your life. You can work with a coach or counselor to develop new and more productive ways of thinking and acting.
As you work on yourself, you will gain skills and insights to help you cope with your life transition, as well as creative new ways to move forward with your goals.
Become passionate about personal growth so you can embrace your life passion with self-awareness and emotional maturity. 9. In Your Attitude
Much of the experience of life is created by our attitude.
When we're feeling passionless and frustrated by our life circumstances, it's easy to remain angry and negative. Nothing seems good. Even the good things don't seem good. A negative attitude can become a negative habit.
As you condition yourself to look on the dark side of things, you lose sight of the truth that there is a bright side.
Sometimes we aren't even aware of our own bad attitude and how it impacts those around us and how they reflect it back to us.
Even if it is an entrenched habit, a bad attitude can be turned around.
You need awareness about your attitude and what you are doing to feed it. Then you need to stop feeding it with negative thoughts and words.
Stop complaining and discussing your frustrations and problems with others.
Replace negative thoughts and words with positive affirmations and comments.
As you practice, your feelings will eventually catch up with your actions. Be passionate about becoming a radiant beacon for yourself and those around you. 10. In Your Passion Search
The search for your life passion takes time and effort. It will involve self-discovery, addressing roadblocks, research, and experimentation.
But the process of finding your passion can be a passionate endeavor itself. This work is leading you to something amazing, to an exciting new life, and you are an explorer seeking out a hidden treasure.
View your passion search as a grand adventure.
Every step of the way, you will encounter small nuggets of information and big new discoveries. You are delving into the character, personality, and motivations of the most fascinating person on the planet -- you! So enjoy the journey even as you await the destination.
Don't allow the frustration of not having a life passion overshadow the opportunities to live passionately today, right now.
Life is forever changing, and in-between the changes, we must sit in transition for a while.
See the transition as a beautiful resting place to gather energy, get healthy, save money, learn skills, and become more evolved as a person.
When it's time to meet your passion, you will be happy, healthy, and prepared.
The post 10 Ways To Live With Passion Right Now Before You Find Your Passion appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.
Live Bold and Bloom
10 Ways To Live With Passion Right Now Before You Find Your Passion
Have you ever wanted something so badly you put the rest of your life on hold, waiting for that something to happen?
Do you find yourself hating your life right now because you aren't living with passion the way you long to?
I noticed this predicament frequently when I was in my twenties, as many young women around me were waiting to meet the man of their dreams. They were just marking time in a job until their wedding day when true happiness would begin.
Maybe you feel this way yourself -- you're just ticking days off the calendar until you find your passion and can live a more fulfilling life. Maybe everything that's happening right now is just filler to occupy the space between today and the day you find contentment.
I can relate to this feeling. I've felt the restlessness and emptiness of not knowing my passion.
I know what it's like to wake up with dread and low-level anxiety, wondering what's wrong with me and why I can't find happiness and fulfillment.
The feelings of frustration eventually taint every part of your life, even the parts that are going well.
Those days when nothing is fun, nothing is meaningful, nothing is interesting, are some of the most soul-crushing times of your life.
What's even more depleting is feeling there's nothing you can do to change the situation or your toxic mood.
Even when you finally believe it's possible to find your passion (which provides some relief from despair), you learn pretty quickly that it doesn't happen overnight. It can take months or even years to discover it, refine it, and make it part of your daily life.
So between this moment right now and the time you live your passion, are you destined to live in mediocrity and unhappiness?
Will you just pass the days in quiet desperation, waiting to live with passion?
You don't have to do that -- and you mustn't.
Please don't give away one of your precious days on this planet to despair or boredom. You do have options.
There is a way to live happily each and every day and make your life better even as you wait for the best -- your life passion. This time "in-between" can be a time of joyful expectation, during which you prepare body, heart and mind for positive change. Here are 10 ways to live with passion now before you find your passion: 1. In Your Work
If you're unhappy in your work, then you're spending most of your waking hours unhappy -- and that's simply unacceptable.
Maybe you can't change jobs right now, so what can you do to feel more passionate about your work while you're there?
Begin by getting clear on what you DO like about your job. Write down everything good about your job -- the people, the space, some elements of the work, your office chair, etc.
Be honest with yourself to acknowledge that it isn't all bad.
Then look at the one major problem you have with your job. Are there any small positive actions you can take to make things better? Is there anyone you can talk with who might help you? If so, take the actions right away.
Even small improvements can give you a sense of control and hope.
Finally, try to approach your work with a zen-like attitude. Even if the work itself is not stimulating or challenging, do it mindfully and gratefully.
Release thoughts of resentment, knowing that change will happen eventually. As the poet Kahlil Gibran reminds, "work is love made visible," even work that isn't your passion.
And what is it to work with love?It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your be[...]
High-Risk Relationships: How to Tell If You’re In One
A high-risk relationship is one where the potential of a breakup is more likely. Sometimes we get a gut feeling that a relationship is on rocky ground. Trusting your gut about a likely breakup is probably wise if your relationship shows any of these 5 signs.
5 Signs You’re In A High-Risk Relationship
1. There is a lack of intimacy
Regardless of whether or not you are having sex, a lack of intimacy implies so much more. A lack of intimacy can be a lack of open, trusting communication about feelings. And if one partner is hiding something, even a feeling, from the other partner, there is a type of breach of trust between the two. Concealing feelings from each other is like a breakdown in the trust that you have, which makes it less likely that your partner will want to open up to you sexually either.
2. Your partner doesn’t show an interest in you
‘How was your day?’ is either never asked, or asked and then your response is barely heard. Does your partner even care what you do all day? If your partner doesn’t even seem to care enough to want to know about your day, how could they possibly hope to know what secret dreams lie buried in your heart? This is a high-risk relationship whenever one partner is focusing only on themselves and their own needs, not on their partner’s.
The need to communicate about feelings is stereotypically more a woman’s realm, however, communication in general is important to meet the social connection needs of each partner. Bonding with your partner happens over shared moments. While this doesn’t have to always involve talking to each other, it usually does. Shared jokes, sharing the positive parts of your day, sharing information about other people in your social circles creates a lifetime of shared experiences that reduces the risk of breakup in a relationship.
3. You’ve already had one breakup
Couples counselors say that it is unlikely that a couple that has split and reunited will stay together for the long-term. The reason for this is that there is a breach to heal that can become a point of resentment for the partners. The partner who was dumped is resentful of the one who did the dumping and fearful that they may get their heart broken again. These emotional wounds are difficult to heal.
Also, with a previous breakup, the partner who did the breaking up clearly had a gut feeling that something was wrong and chose to leave. If that gut feeling is telling you or your partner that something is wrong, getting back together without fixing the underlying problem first is unlikely to make for a happy ending.
4.You had a negative childhood experience with love
Unfortunately, not getting enough love as a child might have left you an insecure adult. This childhood insecurity is a factor for a high-risk relationship because you are still seeking the love that you never got from a caregiver from your current romantic partner. Your partner can’t live up to your expectations, so the relationship is doomed to failure.
5. Low level of commitment
Partners who don’t feel invested in the relationship are more likely to break things off. Having children together, for example, will often keep a high-risk relationship together due to the time, emotional, genetic, and financial investments that each partner has contributed to raising their kids. The same might be true for a couple who has a home, built a business together, or who have spent many years growing their marriage or partnership. Without these high levels of commitment, the couple is likely in a high-risk relationship.
Simple Questions to Make Your Life Better
Wanting to grow is a good sign.
When you learn how to ask yourself the right questions, you immediately become empowered. This is not an easy thing to learn, but it is pretty simple. Here are a few questions to get you started.
What did you used to be good at?
Revisiting things that you did as a child or teenager can help you get inspired, strengthen your brain , and even relieve depression and anxiety. If you played a little guitar back in the day, pick it up again. Did you like to paint but don’t want to go out and buy the art supplies you’d need to become the next Rembrandt? Try an adult coloring book. It’s fun and a little meditative when you color in mandalas. This is not about getting in touch with your inner child but about relearning what made you great and using that energy to be great again. At anything.
What is the step you are avoiding?
Any success, even on an interpersonal level, requires some risk. If you are avoiding taking that next step, calling it procrastination is just being self-defeating or even making an excuse for what can be seen as a simple flaw. The real truth is that you may be too scared to move, and that’s only human, but it also can be changed. Once you realize what you are afraid of, you can say, “Damn the torpedoes,” and put yourself out there where you belong. That’s better than never having tried, and if you try once, you can do it again.
Where did you go right?
In some situations, and with some people, it can be hard to see what you did well when things didn’t go the way you planned. For example, if your relationship ended, you may only see all the things you did wrong, and while it’s wise to look at those actions, it’s also good not to focus too hard on them. Make yourself see the actions you took that were good for you and the one you loved. This can be tough to do, especially when a loss is new, but it is so important to your healing and your growth. You will choose more wisely the next time.
What changes should you make?
While we all know what we have to do to be healthier (I should be writing this on a treadmill), figuring out what will make us happier may be more complicated, but there are always steps you can take. These steps usually involve changing in some way. It will help if you learn to embrace change, but that being said, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway. Change is the only constant in the universe, so rather than wait for it to happen to you, be proactive and do what you need to do.
What can you do to help?
Being involved is a great healer for you and for those whose lives you touch with your time, talent, or treasure. Locally or globally, if you lend your influence and energy to things that will improve the well-being of humankind, you will create a brand new stream to your heart. Regardless of how you value yourself, this will make you feel better and increase your sense of self-worth .
Learning to ask yourself real questions is one of the best ways to keep your life on track, your goals in perspective, and your heart from being broken. It’s amazing how things clear up when you get real with yourself.©
ant other even though you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.
9. Honesty is essential.
You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural and every day as breathing.
10. Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.
Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.
Making these secrets an integral part of your relationship won’t be easy. In fact, your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up. If you maintain your efforts, however, you will likely reap what you sow.©
. It’s part of being an adult.
Why should we imagine we can decide on something as important as a mate in five minutes, or even five days?
Keep thinking if you need to, and also pay attention to your heart. Are you feeling progressively more comfortable with the person? Or less and less comfortable as your brain processes the information you’re gathering?
As long as you value your heart as much as your head, and let your emotions help you decide, you’ll eventually come to a place of not needing to analyze quite so much.
You’ll either be all in, or all out.©
#Curiosity
📍 Life After Life…After Life
Lately I have been wondering about a lot of things.
It feels as if I am looking at life from a different lens.
How come we find some of the strangest things around us normal?
For example, why is it that our earth is in the middle of infinite space and we perceive it as ordinary?
Why is it that we sleep at night as if we are completely gone from this dimension and we don’t find it peculiar?
And why is it we believe that when people die they are no longer with us?
We are told they are never coming back.
Really?
We accept the weirdness of gravity, the infinite cosmos, black holes and even the peculiarity of how humans look without even wondering much about it all.
As I am writing this to you this evening, I worry that you will not find this worth spending time thinking about with me.
But how can we not?
How can we not be open to exploring a bigger reality?
No wonder when people die we lose our minds.
In the reality we live in there is nov space to allow for the possibility of them still existing somehow.
Unless of course you believe in a translation of the invisible world through the eyes of religion, and the historical perspective of our ancestors.
Yes, there is a lot of truth there, but the way it is being looked at does not allow for a real understanding of the world.
It is heavily filtered.
We are not given new words to describe heaven to our kids.
We are not exposed to science, so we can understand what this world is made of and then come up with our own words from that exposure.
And yes, I did tell my kids that their dad went to heaven when he died.
But I wish I could have told them something slightly different.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
I wish I told them that daddy went to a new dimension that we cannot see from here.
He has no worries or fears, and he is always going to be with us because our souls are connected and have always been connected.
We have been together in many lives.
And we will see him again in another parallel universe, maybe even on a different kind of earth. It is not a goodbye. It is not a real separation, just a physical one.
Imagine if someone had helped me with this message.
Imagine if we had wise elders with this kind of wisdom to guide us.
💡 All I am asking from you today is to look around you in ways you never have before.
And to look at your life as a timeless experience in different worlds but with the same people. Then the pain we feel when we lose them is not so unbearable.
For me it is easier to believe in God when his description is made of particles, stars, atoms, gravitational waves and a universal source.
Heaven is more real to me when I look at space and imagine all the parallel universes that exist. It is more real. More believable. More human. More divine.
And more reachable.
Yes, heaven is for real just not the way it is described.
Isn’t it time to look at what we have been told and give it a new narrative?
One that aligns with our evolution and growth.
One that more of us can connect with.
Imagine how life would be if we knew this all along.
For now I can only imagine this with you. Maybe one day there will be a world where we talk about death, not as the end, but as a bridge to another world.
Until then, thank you for reading and being open to a new way of looking at life after loss. I am thankful for your mind but most of all your timeless soul. It is the reason you made it all the way to the end of this post.
With life after life after life.
you a sense of pride besides helping you pay bills.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you’re stuck in a job and there’s no other way out. We often get scared of change. The unknown makes us feel insecure. The first step you need to do is to get rid of the fear of not having a stable income. If you don’t have any savings at all, then save first. But in that process, build your self-belief and get into the habit of living within your mean. Once you’ve done that, start looking for a new job. Don’t be scared of change. Opportunities come to those who live with their arms wide open. Don’t close the door.
4. Do something totally different for a living
Sometimes finding a new job in the same field is not enough. Even though your experience and skill set is valuable to the industry, you can get bored with it after doing it for 10 years. If you’re totally up for the challenge, consider moving to another industry. Do something totally different from what you had been doing for the past 10 years. If you are a bored banker, why don’t you consider working in hospitality or technology? If you are a stressed lawyer, why don’t you consider becoming a writer instead?
It’s true that most of the people in a similar profession are wired similarly. Moving to a different industry, you might adopt a new perspective on life. Moreover, you will find yourself a ton of new friends and your life will start to feel exciting again.
5. Travel
The quickest way to get excited again is to travel. Travel opens your eyes and inspires your senses. Travel means experiencing, seeing, smelling, and hearing new things. If you feel bored with life, you should consider quitting your job and go traveling. Pick somewhere cheap and fun like South East Asia or South America. The people you’ll meet, the places you’ll see, the food you’ll eat — all the things you get to do when you travel are the things that stay in your memories for a lifetime and get passed on from one generation to another. You don’t tell your children about your boring mundane life at work. You tell your children about the fun you had during your travels.
Embrace life. Cherish your time. Create memories through experiences.
6. Move to another country
If traveling is not exciting enough, try moving to another country. Having lived in 4 different countries, I have to say that moving to another country teaches you a lot. You grow so much as a person because everywhere you go, you have to start from the ground up. You have to build a new network, make new friends, learn pretty much about everything around you and adapt yourself to it.
For one thing that I know for sure is that it is very exciting. Everything is new. It can be a little overwhelming at first especially if you have never moved far away from home before. But once you get settled, you’ll start falling in love with the new country again. It can become addictive as you will get addicted to the excitement of moving to somewhere new. Life never seems dull anymore unless you stop moving and stay still.
Take the opportunity if you can because it can be the sweetest experience of your life.
7. End your relationship
This might sound harsh but if your relationship doesn’t add anything to your life then it’s probably best to end it. You don’t need to be stuck in it just because you don’t want to hurt someone. A relationship is meant to be full of love, understanding, passion, inspiration, and excitement. Being in a beautiful relationship you want to make exciting plans with that person. A good relationship should bring you higher, not lower. A good partner should make you feel better, not down. If you’re not excited about making exciting plans with your partner, then maybe the passion has died and the only thing left is friendship. You have to ask yourself if you want to try to spice your life up with this person or you want to make a life-changing decision on your own.
I believe that it’s important to pick your partner wisely. Because not only will you be spending most of your time with the person, but your feelings, energy, a
Using Gratitude to Change Your Happiness Set Point
Want to find more gratitude?
These three simple habits can change your life.
"You are a great wizard. You can use your powers to practice white magic on yourself instead of the other kind. The most basic way to do that is to concentrate on naming, savoring, and feeling gratitude for the blessings you do have -- your love for your kid, the pleasures of eating the food you like, the sight of the sky at dusk, the entertaining drama of your unique fate. Don't ignore the bad stuff, but make a point of celebrating the beautiful stuff with all the exuberant devotion you can muster."
If you feel like your life isn't as joyful as you'd like, here's a sure-fire strategy to replenish your joy quotient.
Research shows that feeling gratitude transforms our moods and our brains. One reason is that feeling grateful floods us with oxytocin , which creates more oxytocin receptors, which makes us happier. So gratitude can actually change our happiness set-point, which is our usual happiness level. Naturally, all those good feelings make us more compassionate parents .
Want to find more gratitude? These three simple habits can change your life.
1. Start a daily gratitude practice. Every morning, train yourself to find at least three things to be grateful for. Make it part of your morning ritual, so that you remember to do it – as you brush your teeth, nurse the baby, drink your coffee, drive the kids to school, whatever. Can't find the time? Make it a morning ritual with your kids and let them chime in. Studies show this practice makes us feel measurably happier within a week, and raises our happiness “set-point” continually for as long as we do it.
2. Every day, find a moment to sit with each of your kids and feel appreciation. How did you get lucky enough to have this child put into your arms? Don’t let your worries steal this precious moment. Instead, remind yourself of how much you love this child. Let gratitude wash over you. Pour your love and appreciation into your child. You just changed your physiology, and your child’s, to make both of you happier and healthier.
3. When the upsets of daily life loom large, retrain yourself to find something positive in the situation. This may feel artificial at first, but you’ll quickly notice that your attitude really does depend on your perspective.
“Thank goodness she had this meltdown at home instead of in the store.”
"I'm getting better and better at dealing with his anger calmly."
“This is a chance for him to get out all the tension from starting the new school.”
“At least this came up now, so I can see how upset he is about it and address it.”
“She cries with me because she trusts me.”
“How I handle my child’s emotions will make a difference for the rest of his life.”
"This isn't a disaster. It's an opportunity for growth."
“Being a parent is a chance to be a hero.”
“True, my child sometimes drives me crazy. But what about those parents who so desperately want a child and can’t have one? Or who mourn a child? I am lucky, lucky, lucky to have this child, upsets and all.”
Gratitude doesn't mean you don't take action to change things that aren't working. But you'll do that better from the feeling of goodness that gratitude gives us.
Can’t find your gratitude? Life can be hard, even heart-breaking.
Yet, even during tough times, there is so much to be grateful for.
Remind yourself of what you already know: You are truly blessed.©
#motivation, #inspiration
You should not be ashamed of crying
I was looking through some old photo albums the other day. I had already looked through them many times before but I felt a sudden urge to see those old pictures again. I found myself reliving so many beautiful memories from my childhood.
There was my dear Nana giving me a bath when I was a baby. There was me and my brother standing in front of the world's ugliest Christmas tree. There was my first dog: Duke snuggled up next to me on the couch. There was my beautiful mom holding me on her lap. Then all of the sudden the pictures seemed blurry. I realized that the pictures were blurry because my eyes were moist.
Tears were dripping down my cheeks. I wiped my wet eyes and wondered what was going on. I hadn't cried the last time I looked at those pictures. What was different now? I soon realized that it was I who was different. Since I had last looked through those photos I had grown. My empathy had risen. My compassion had strengthened. My spirit had walked a little further down the path of love. I realized too that wet eyes were nothing to be ashamed of as long as they came with a warm heart.
I smiled and closed the photo album up once again. I felt mom and Nana smiling on me from wherever they are. I felt my Father's love inside of me and all around me. Leo Buscaglia once said: "I'm not afraid to cry. It cleans out my eyeballs." I think it cleans out our insides as well. It helps us to wash away our pain, fear, and grief. It helps us to reconnect to our love, goodness, and oneness with God.
It helps us to become who we were meant to be. The next time you feel your own tears starting then just let them flow. Life is full of smiles. Life is full of tears. Only by allowing them both can we truly live. Only by embracing them both can we truly love.
💡Sir Marita
#INSPIRATION
5 Ways to Be The Change You Want to See In the World
“ONLY A LIFE LIVED FOR OTHERS IS A LIFE WORTHWHILE.” –ALBERT EINSTEIN
In the world right now, we need to make some undeniable changes in order to advance as a species and bring about an environment where all life can thrive. The chaos and destruction we see in our physical world directly reflect the mindset of the collective consciousness; we have literally brought about this world as a result of our thoughts and intentions. We have created an egotistical world built on the separation of power and the division of humanity. We have forgotten about the importance of working together, and have largely lost our sense of compassion towards others.
However, all hope is not lost. In fact, now more than ever, we have the opportunity and ability to enact positive change, and you can contribute to this revolution in a few ways yourself:
1. INSTEAD OF BUYING SOMETHING NEW, GIVE SOMETHING AWAY.
The effects of conspicuous consumption are far-reaching, and the consequences of taking more than we need won’t be pretty if we don’t turn ourselves around – and soon. However, in the age of endless consumption, there’s also a new movement on the other end of the spectrum – the rise of minimalism. People all over want to downsize their lives, and the tiny house movement is flourishing like never before.
People want to feel happy with less, and can achieve this not only by purchasing smaller homes, but by giving away things they no longer need. Before you go out on a shopping spree, ask yourself if you really need what you set out to buy. If the answer is no, look around your house and see what you could give away to those less fortunate. You will feel better mentally, and your wallet will thank you, too.
2. GIVE SOMEONE A COMPLIMENT.
Most people today unfortunately hear more bad news than good, but you can change that by simply offering others words from your heart. Imagine if we all made one another feel good instead of tearing each other down, what kind of world we would have as a result. Even if it feels awkward at first, complimenting others without expecting anything in return can lift the vibration of this planet and make others feel loved and important. Ripples create waves, so by you offering sincere kindness from your heart, they will want to share that energy with others, too.
3. VOLUNTEER AT AN ORGANIZATION COMMITTED TO THE WELL-BEING OF THE WORLD.
In almost any community in the world, you can find some organization or business that wants to cultivate a better planet. Whether that be the local food bank, homeless shelter, organic farm, donation center, etc, you can easily search for local volunteer opportunities. All we need to create a better world is people committing their time and energy to our planet’s well-being, and volunteering will help kick-start this process.
4. ALLOW OTHERS TO OPEN UP TO YOU.
Technology and the fast pace of life has made us more closed off and defensive in general, but you can break this chain by opening your heart to others and creating a safe space for them to do the same. On the bus to work, just ask someone how they’re really doing, not how they’ve been taught to tell others how they’re doing. Allow them to have the floor for whatever is on their mind, and you’d be surprised how quickly they open up to you. Plenty of people are hurting right now and just need someone to listen, and you can be the person that makes them feel loved and important.
5. MAKE A HOMEMADE GIFT FOR SOMEONE.
Whether for a friend, coworker, or family member, almost anyone appreciates a homemade gift from the heart. Put in a place where they can easily find it, and leave a nice note on it telling them how much you care about them. It will totally make their day, not to mention, encourage them to spread acts of kindness like the one you shared with them.©
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mT_oW12HN0
💡 @expertsupportbot
5 Things People Pleasers Need to Remember
People pleasing is a short-term solution that creates more long-term problems.
People pleasers come in many forms. I’ve met with business leaders who lost sleep because they were terrified of confrontation. And I’ve seen parents struggle to maintain order in their homes because they didn't want their kids to be mad at them.
Their reasons for trying to make people happy vary. For some, it’s a learned behavior that originates in childhood . For others, the attempt to make everyone happy stems from the desire to be polite.
If you tend to say yes to things that you don’t want to do, or you avoid speaking up because you don’t want to upset anyone, here are five things you should remember:
1.You aren’t responsible for other people’s emotions.
Whether you tend to do everything your partner wants, or you strive to make your co-workers like you, your people-pleasing efforts bear too much responsibility. Everyone is in charge of their emotions. You can’t make anyone feel happy.
It’s up to other people to cope with uncomfortable feelings like disappointment or anger . It’s not your job to protect them from those things.
2. People pleasers are easily manipulated.
Quite often, you can spot a people pleaser a mile away. And the more an individual says yes to requests, the more things are asked of her.
People pleasers become easy targets. Someone may ask favors of them by saying things like, “I hate to ask you this, but…” or “I wouldn’t ask anyone else, but you’re such a good friend.”
Whether you feel guilted into doing something, or you feel honored that you’ve been entrusted with a favor, you may be easily manipulated when your goal is to please people.
3. Your choices will always be unfavorable to some people.
There isn’t a single decision, product, or service that will please everyone. Just look at product reviews. One person says it’s the best thing since sliced bread. The next person says the same product was a complete rip-off.
Even personal decisions that don't affect others may become a target for scrutiny. Your mother may weigh-in on your decision to accept a new job. Or your friends may express dissatisfaction about your new relationship. While you may want to take their wisdom in consideration, your job isn't to make them happy.
4. Trying to please people drains your resources.
Trying to please everyone will rob you of mental strength . The more you think about whether someone is going to be upset or how to phrase your decision in a way that isn’t offensive, the fewer resources you’ll have to devote to the decisions that matter most.
Worrying, ruminating, and rehashing conversations won’t help you get anywhere. If you spent that same time and energy being productive, you’d accomplish much more.
5. Attempting to please others is actually a bit selfish.
One of the most common reasons I hear people say they can’t say no is because they don’t want to appear selfish. But in reality, the need to always be liked is actually a bit selfish.
Saying yes to things you don’t want to do will cause you to feel resentful. And that will damage your relationship. Setting healthy boundaries and preserving the relationship—even at the risk that someone may get angry—is far less selfish.
Staying True to Your Values
People pleasing can become a bad habit that causes you to lose sight of your values. Learning to tolerate people being upset with you can be hard, but it’s essential to reaching your goals .
Your words and your behavior must be in line with your beliefs before you can be truly authentic. And authenticity is the key to becoming your best self.©
your passion
Before you launch into a new career, be sure it’s something you’re going to love to do day in and day out. You don’t want to switch careers only to be in the same dead-end kind of job you have now. Spend time learning about yourself, what skills you find deeply satisfying and fun, and what you’re naturally wired to enjoy.
Before you even think about the financial potential or what it might take to get a job in a particular field, find the thing you love. The energy and enthusiasm of finding your passion will propel you to find a way to make it happen.
It’s When You Think You’re Not Ready That You Are
“Preparation doesn’t assure victory, it assures confidence.” ― Amit Kalantri
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who have a definite path from A to B; and then those who somehow zigzagged their way through all twenty-six letters before finally arriving at the destination. Folks who almost ALWAYS have a To-Do list; and individuals who simply wing it.
By now I think you can guess where I fall in.
From the time I could remember, my life was a series of constant changes I was never ready for. My family and I moved from the city to a suburban miles away when I was only nine. After that, I changed schools twice before we finally settled into a peaceful community.
But that wasn’t the end. After highschool, I had to switch between waiting to join college and living with my mom abroad. It always felt as if I was being pushed into roles I wasn’t ready for. One day, I was helping coworkers on the production floor – next thing I knew, I was boarding a plane to Frankfurt.
But maybe none of this was coincidence. Perhaps the things we thought we’re not prepared for – like marriages, children, relocation, promotions – belonged to us, after all.
Ready or Not: Life’s Lemons Will Hit You
Whenever life throws you lemons, it’s not always as easy deciding you’ll make lemonade with them. In fact, there are other – if not better – options (lemon meringue cookies, anyone?). But the main question has always been: here’s a lemon, now what?
No matter your skill, talent, or experience, you won’t really be ready unless you’re actually doing it.
Just this year, I was invited to speak to more than a dozen young audiences about social media and online writing. To be honest, I didn’t want the task at first. I had other things in my mind, and I thought someone else would be more qualified for it.
But as luck would have it, no one else was available at that time. I did the presentation and practiced a few times (though not a lot, shame on me). In my head, I probably replayed scenes of me either a) choking on my words, or b) being asked a question I wasn’t prepared for. To sum it up: I was sort of hoping to be buried alive.
Come the day of the event, it didn’t turn out so bad. In fact, it was amazing! Being a last-minute resource speaker was definitely something I was NOT ready for – but this is one lemon I’m glad I took anyway.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ― Nelson Mandela
Parenting is another lemon that life likes to throw to its unwilling (at first) victims. Writer and parent Melanie Pinola for example, says: ‘no matter how many books, parenting forums, and Dr. Sears articles you read, nothing can completely prepare you for becoming a parent.’ I don’t find it odd that I’ve heard friends and my own parents say the same thing.
Believe it or not, even a promotion is something that most folks only think they’re ready for (but that their performance review would reflect otherwise). According to author and associate professor of management at Oral Roberts University David Burkus, some employees become incompetent once they are promoted. This phenomenon is known as the “The Peter Principle”.
This happens when workers get promoted to a position that is NOT aligned with their core strengths. Although some of these issues can be corrected with further training and development, most times, it’s not. It’s in these instances when the individuals concerned need to be honest and admit that perhaps, this is one decision they should’ve thought through first.
loved were to eat the fruit.It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit.
~Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet 2. In Your Relationships
During times of transition and unhappiness, we often take out our negative feelings on the ones we love the most.
We are so self-focused and preoccupied with our concerns that we push our loved ones away -- or worse, we lash out at them with misplaced anger. This time of waiting is the perfect time to strengthen your relationships.
It begins with communication, sharing your feelings, worries, and dreams.
By allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open in a safe and loving relationship, you create a comforting space to help you cope, and you foster a deeper connection with your loved one.
Take extra time to enjoy the company of your loved ones, doing fun and relaxing things together.
Make a point of reconnecting rather than isolating yourself in your pain and worry. Savor the passion and fulfillment that positive human interaction provides.
If you have problems in an important relationship, take this time to work on the issues with a counselor. You will need to clear up these problems before you can work on your life passion. 3. In Your Health
Spend time during your day to focus on healthy habits like exercise and good nutrition.
This will boost your self-esteem, your overall energy, and your mood. Pick some form of exercise that is fun and manageable and begin practicing it for just five minutes a day. Slowly increase your time as it begins to feel automatic.
Having a sense of control over your physical well-being provides the emotional strength to make other necessary changes in your life when the time comes.
As you become more proficient at exercise and continue to make good health choices, you may find a healthy lifestyle becomes one of your passions. 4. In Your Life Balance
Use this transition time to reclaim balance in your life.
Look at the areas in your life where you are over-scheduled or prioritizing busy-work. Try to eliminate some of these things that are draining your time and energy.
Cut back on spending time with people who are negative and unsupportive.
If you know you are spending too many hours at work, slowly begin to cut back each day so you can spend more time with loved ones and doing other things you enjoy.
Even physical clutter will make you feel unsettled and overwhelmed. Take a day to let go of material things in your home that you no longer want or need. 5. In Your Finances
Are you spending to fill the void of your unhappiness? Do you have unpaid debt or are you neglecting to save money?
This is a great time to clean up your financial house. Work on paying down debt, and rather than spending on things you don't need, put that money into a savings account.
As you work on finding your life passion, you may discover you need extra money to start a business, take a class, or buy some time away from your job.
Find joy in saving and appreciating all of the material blessings you have. 6. In Your Skills
Use this transition time to improve your skills in an area you enjoy.
Savor the process of learning and gaining proficiency through practice. Practice puts you in a flow state that is deeply satisfying and engaging.
Learn something entirely new that has always interested you. Take a class or begin reading and researching information online. Do this for the fun of the experience, not as a means to an end. 7. In Your Pursuits
This is a great time to start checking things off your bucket list -- to explore your hobbies, to travel, to redecorate your home or landscape your yard. If you love to read, allow yourself time every day with an engaging novel.
When worry, restlessness, and self-doubt begin to creep in, go do something fun.
Immerse yourself in the activity the way you did as a child. These relaxing pursuits can relieve stress[...]
In a study of romantic relationship breakups, researchers could predict which couples would break up based on how much ‘commitment, love, and inclusion of other in the concept of the self’ were present in the relationship. Other signs that contributed to a high-risk relationship were low relationship satisfaction, perceptions of available alternative romantic partners, and level of investment in the relationship were also predictors of breakup, but to a lesser extent. The research also found that social network support was also a strong predictor of relationship strength.
📍
Realizing Your Dreams - One Tiny Action at a Time
My Interview with Megan McDonough
What do you want to accomplish? To be a great leader? To get your writing published? Or to start doing yoga, or running? Or to lose those pesky 10 pounds? So just how do we turn our dreams and wishes into reality?
“When it comes to realizing our dreams, it can be easy to think that success comes easily to others, but not to ourselves. Others seem to have the talent, lucky breaks or willpower that we lack – whether it be the consistent rhythm and grace of great marathon athletes, the leader who can speak on stage with charisma and polish, the best-selling author who has just released another clincher or your dinner companion who can pass over the desert menu without hesitation,” explained Megan McDonough, CEO and co-founder of Wholebeing Institute when I interviewed to her recently.
“We interpret and then weave stories in our head about what we see. We assign people attitudes, attributes, and roles—top athlete, successful leader, wealthy entrepreneur, prolific writer, healthy eater—based on our observations of their actions,” Megan said. “The good news when it comes to creating positive changes in our own lives, r esearch has found we can also interpret our own attitudes and beliefs based on the actions we take.”
💡 does this work?
“It’s a common misperception that we must first have the attitude and body of an athlete before we take athletic action, or that we must first cultivate a mindset of loving to write before we put pen to paper,” explained Megan. “The truth is, to become what we want to be, we do not have to cultivate the attitude first. We just need to act as if we had it. Action and behavior can be the prime drivers of realizing our goals and dreams.”
As Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do."
But is this simply a case of fooling ourselves?
What if the athlete we’re watching really is in good shape, and we’re not. Acting as if you were won’t make it any easier to run the marathon. The truth is we tend to judge others and then compare ourselves and we usually come up lacking because it's easy to be tough on ourselves.
But what if there was another explanation to explain what we see?
“Others aren't always as perfect as we think they are; nor are we as insufficient,” said Megan. For example, what if the marathoner joined the race in the last quarter of a mile to help a friend stay motivated? Or the speaker was just hired as a manager after a previously long and successful career in acting? Or the prolific writer works with a team of co-writers?
“The brain is very good at filling in gaps; your neurons want a full narration, not a stand-alone data point,” explained Megan. “And the brain does not like incongruity at all, so any conflict between an attitude and a behavior will be reconciled one way or another—by readjusting either the attitude or the behavior to create more of a match between the two. The game is to match the two in such a way that it encourages forward movement toward your dream.”
For example, when you take the stairs instead of the elevator, consciously note the behaviour by saying to yourself—or even better, say out loud—"I enjoy moving."
“When you have a dream, behave as if you already are what you want to be. Even tiny actions matter, and, in fact, are preferable, because they won't set up a gap between attitudes and behavior. Taking action toward our goals creates more congruency and, therefore, acceptance” suggested Megan. “In this way you can shape your success and happiness by the daily actions you take and the attitudes you hold towards yourself.”©
#Happiness,
Happiness Comes From Within
You have all the answers right now
When you read the words, “peace of mind,” what do you think of?
After decades working as an expert in private practice and studying what brings human beings real happiness , I know the words “peace of mind” can mean different things to different people.
For some, peace of mind comes from receiving other’s approval. These people believe that if everyone loves and thinks highly of them, they will be happy. Others equate peace of mind with possessing material things such as cars, expensive clothes, or a fabulous house. While some are convinced that landing a high-power job, earning a college degree, finding one’s soul mate, having healthy children, or… as you know, the list can go on forever.
The one common thread that weaves all of the above examples together is they rely on external circumstances. In other words, peace of mind in these instances comes from the outside. But if that were the case, why are there countless stories, past and present, of people who have reached whatever external goal they’ve set for themselves but still find themselves miserable. Think of the celebrities who seem to have reached the peak of their success, yet they find themselves unhappy and become alcoholics, drug addicts, or even take their own lives.
What if I were to tell you that everything you’re looking for, all that you need to live a truly wonderful life filled with peace and joy, you have access to, right here and right now…would you believe me?
I know this is true because I’ve seen it in my own life as well as those I work with in my private practice. To achieve this kind of peace of mind requires a simple understanding of how your mind works.
When we’re born, our minds were free from judgment about good or bad. We were blank slates that reacted to our immediate needs such as hunger or a need to sleep . By about the age of two and a half, our minds became more aware of our surroundings. We interpreted our experiences in the form of likes and dislikes. When we interpreted something as pleasant, we told ourselves, “I want more of that.” When we found an experience unpleasant, we said, “I don't want that,” and we did our best to push it away.
I call these “egoic thoughts.” They are how you view the world. Think of egoic thoughts as you would when you put on a pair of sunglasses. Suddenly, the color of the lenses influences everything you see. In the case of egoic thoughts, they are lenses that cause us to suffer. When I say “suffer,” I’m not referring to what you experience when you burn your hand on a hot stove. Rather, I’m describing a mental state that is generated by desires and fears: Desires for money, a soul mate, wisdom , self- confidence , or being an enlightened being. And fears of losing any of the preceding if you have it, or never acquiring what you want if you don’t.
Egoic thoughts create suffering because they attempt to control or change whatever is occurring right now, rather than accepting circumstances as they are in the present. Egoic thoughts are an endless stream of mental commentary that labels experiences as good or bad, making us want more of certain things and less of others.
The key is to identify the egoic thoughts for what they are; they are simply patterns developed from a young age. Reminding yourself of this as they arise throughout the day will diminish their ability to cause suffering. Keep in mind that even positive experiences create suffering because we want more of them or we fear them coming to an end.
With enough practice, you’ll be able to experience true peace of mind regardless of your thoughts. You’ll disarm your egoic thoughts of their ability to want more or less of whatever desire or fear arises. Rather than rely on external circumstances to bring about happiness, peace of mind will come from within.©
The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples
They might be 30, or 75. They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and income brackets. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together. Whatever the demographics, when you see a happy couple, you just know it!
How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”
Happy Couples and Their Secrets
1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.
Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.
2. Work on the relationship.
An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.
3. Spend time together.
There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.
4. Make room for “separateness.”
Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.
5. Make the most of your differences.
Stop and think: What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee that it was exactly the thing that drives you most insane today. Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another. It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team.
6. Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they want.
If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house. If you do both of these things at once you’ve got a winning plan!
7. Accept that some problems can’t be solved.
There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.
8. Communicate!
Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so, especially when dealing with incendiary topics: Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. If you can, empathize with your signific
The Real Reason We Over-Think Relationships
Thinking is a smokescreen for stuff we're trying to avoid
Jordan (not his real name) sits across from me over coffee. We're talking about his new girlfriend, Serena.
Both middle-aged and divorced, they’ve been together for just a few months. Jordan can’t stop thinking about how it’s going.
He analyzes every date, every text message, and every phone call. He tells me he never stops thinking about the relationship.
He’s trying to figure out if they’re right for each other. Even though things seem great, he's still not sure.
“I’ve always been an over-thinker,” he says. “I over-analyze everything, and relationships are no exception. I think about it all the time. It’s exhausting.”
Jordan’s exaggerating a bit. I happen to know that he’s more than capable of putting aside thoughts of his relationship when he’s working or enjoying his favorite activities. He doesn’t have obsessive-compulsive disorder .
Like many other people, he’s a garden-variety over-thinker. And with good reason. Check out what he’s probably trying to avoid by doing all that analyzing. Can you relate?
1. Making a mistake.
Jordan’s been married before, and he’s open to marrying again. But next time, he wants it to be forever. He can’t afford to make a mistake. Or at least that’s how he feels.
Jordan’s brain leaps to the rescue by trying to compute his chances of living happily ever after with Serena.
If he can just get a handle on how well suited they are, he can avoid the incredibly painful experience of another divorce .
For that, he’s got to input every data point and run it through the process of “mulling.” Did she open the driver’s side door for him from the passenger side? Do his adult children like her? Did she seem put off by the fact that he owns a drone? Etc., etc., etc.
All that processing is tiring, but a mistake would be too costly.
If you’re overthinking a relationship, ask yourself what’s at stake here. What would it cost you to make a mistake? If the cost would be great, no wonder you’re trying to avoid it.
2. Feeling vulnerable.
As long as Jordan is evaluating the relationship, he’s not 100% in it, but hovering above it, looking down. He’s still got one foot out the door, and if it doesn’t work out, he won’t have lost everything.
Analyzing the relationship makes Jordan feel more powerful and secure than if Serena held his whole heart in her hands. He isn’t ready to trust her yet. He’s not sure he’s ready to trust anyone with his heart again.
Analysis is like a way station between interest and commitment. It slows the relationship and keeps things from becoming too intense too quickly. As long as Jordan is still deciding, he’s not completely vulnerable.
If you were to give up the task of evaluating your relationship, how vulnerable would you feel?
3. Knowing your truth.
Only Jordan knows what’s true for him in his heart of hearts. By focusing outward, on Serena and the relationship, he can ignore any uncomfortable awareness about what’s going on inside his own heart.
Maybe Jordan, deep down, is not that into Serena. But she’s lovely and warm and makes him feel better about himself. He was pretty scuffed up by the divorce. Serena makes him feel attractive and confident . He needs her right now.
Or perhaps he finds Serena very appealing, yet his heart remains with his ex-wife. It was she, not Jordan, who initiated the divorce. But what good is it to notice that he still loves her? It won’t do him any good. And so, perhaps, he pushes that knowledge away in an effort to move on.
Thinking and analyzing – letting the brain do what it loves to do, which is label and solve – is a wonderful way to avoid other problems. Isn’t it better to over-think than to make a horrible mistake, or to feel intolerably vulnerable, or to have to face an inconvenient truth in yourself?
There’s one final consideration for Jordan and everyone who over-thinks relationships.
4. Maybe you’re not over-thinking this.
It’s appropriate to think carefully about important life decisions. That’s what adults are supposed to do
nd interests will also be influenced by him/her. If you want to live a positive life, date someone positive. If you want to live a fun and passionate life, date someone who’s fun and passionate about their life. If you want to be successful, date someone who also wants to be successful, or, someone who can support you to be successful.
It’s your happiness. Choose your partner wisely.
8. Find new friends and meet new people
Whether we like to admit it or not, sometimes we feel bored because we feel bored of our friends. They don’t inspire us or make us feel excited about life. They live a mundane life. They have no ambitions. They are happy with their routines. It is hard to get out of your circle of friends sometimes because they are true friends who have been there for you for all those years. However, we are only going to be as successful as the people we surround ourselves with. If we keep hanging out with average Joe, we will be average Joe. If we hang out with people who are passionate about their lives, we will be affected by their infectious energy and enthusiasm and feel inspired. If we hang out with smart people, we will learn a lot from them.©
📍8 Ways to Make Life More Exciting Again
Sometimes life can get a little boring. You don’t feel excited anymore. Life feels pretty mundane and full of routines. You eat pretty much the same thing for breakfast, commute the same route five days a week and alternate between 10 outfits and two pairs of shoes. When you have some free time, you flick through photos and scroll down your smartphone screen just to see what everybody else is up to. You wish you were somewhere else and doing something else. But somehow you’re not sure what you’d be doing. What you know is — you wish life was more exciting.
We all have been there at one point in our life. Sometimes it lasts for a few days. Sometimes it lasts for years. But isn’t it the most undesirable feeling ever to feel that your life is not exciting anymore? You don’t have anything to look forward to tomorrow. You just want to go to work, get it over and done with, so that you have enough money to pay the bills.
I believe in living with passion and have been told on three different occasions now by my best friends that by having me by their sides their lives become more exciting. So since it’s what I’m naturally good at, I’d like to pass on some tips to those of you who might feel a little stuck and bored with life.
Try one of these or all of them — you will instantly feel like life is exciting again. One thing they all have in common though — they require you to break out of your comfort zone.
1. Pick up a new hobby
We all have hobbies. They are the things we enjoy doing in our spare time when we are not working. We release our stress and gain joy through our hobbies.
Not only is a new hobby another way to add more joy and fun into your life, it can also make life feel more exciting with the new challenges you have to face. Plus, by breaking out of your comfort zone and achieving new goals, you will gain self-confidence and feel proud of yourself. You will meet new people who are passionate about something different from your old peers. This is probably the key turning point when the new interest might shed you light on something. The new friends you make might give you a new perspective on life and living. The things you didn’t think were beautiful before are now seen as beautiful in your eyes.
As your new passion grows stronger, you’ll start to have a whole lot of other plans with it. You’ll start planning hiking trips after spending three months mastering the art of hiking in your hometown. You will want to go to places where you can surf since you can now surf. You’ll start waking up early because the practice of yoga inspires you to do so. You will spend your free time looking up design websites and pages for inspiration because you are now obsessed with making your own art.
Suddenly life seems exciting again. By picking up a new hobby, you’re actually putting a new pair of lens on your eyes.
2. Take a class and learn something new
This is similar to taking up a new hobby. However, taking a course in something is more about learning and taking in, rather than taking actions and having fun. It involves teachers and students. Examples of such courses are language classes, cooking classes, art classes, or singing lessons.
Unlike taking up a new hobby, learning is all about progressing. The main benefit of this besides having a new skill set is a sense of fulfillment, pride, and satisfaction with yourself.
If you have always wanted to learn something but never had time, take this chance to learn something new. Take a class. Never leave it too late that it becomes a regret.
Plus, after having learned something new, you will want to see more of the world and go to places where you can now experience that passion.
When life feels mundane, take a class. The new challenge will keep you busy and inspired.
3. Change job
Isn’t there anything worse than hating your job? If you dread going to work, it’s like you dread living your life. Your job should be something that you enjoy doing, something that you’re good at, and something that gives
#Happiness
Finding Peace and Happiness in Your Busy World
Balance directed focus and receptive appreciation for a happy life.
Throwing caution to the wind sounds great… unless you are a tightrope walker over the Grand Canyon. As with life in general, to enjoy the journey, you must balance spontaneity and pleasure with planning and caution. If you lean too far to either side, you will fall. And I see victims of this every day in my office – those recovering from marriages broken by their pursuit of immediate gratification, and those starving for an ounce of enjoyment or connection in their protected and disciplined lives.
To be truly content and happy, you must be able to focus in on, and manage, the many details of your daily life in the personal, relationship, and work arenas of your world. Meanwhile, you must also be able to maintain enough perspective to appreciate and even enjoy your experiences.
I was recently reminded of this on a trip to Cape May, New Jersey. I decided to go jogging one morning. Thinking that it would be nice to “take in” the area, I left my greatest distraction – my phone – in the hotel room. As I made my way down the walkway along the beach, I noticed many things. There was a couple on a bench eating pastries; a cute blond curly-haired girl in a stroller; and two well-built, shirtless guys jogging in front of me (I wondered if the one with a crew cut was in the military). I soon became aware that in cataloging all of these details, I wasn’t really experiencing Cape May. I might later be able to bring a picture of the place to mind, but I would not have a feel for it. So, I consciously let me gaze soften, looking ahead of me, but not at anything in particular. It was a bit like filming a panoramic video. When something caught my attention – like seeing a father and daughter jogging together, or noting how I was caught up in my rambling thoughts - I softened my gaze again and chose to bring my mind into a more open and receptive state. As I did this, I became aware of the rhythm of my steps. I “felt” the area’s movement, and its cadence. Rather than observing the activity around me, I became part of it. I felt more in tune with my surroundings, less alone, and more peaceful. I’d like to say that I sustained that experience for the length of my jog. But I didn’t. Instead, each time I became distracted or pulled in some specific direction, I had to repeatedly choose to return to it.
Training in mindfulness and meditation has taught me the value of softening my gaze and shifting my attention to a more receptive mode. These are skills that you can choose to use at any time. Much like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you become. A great time to practice softening your gaze and redirecting your attention is going for a walk, preferably in a relatively calm area.
Go alone and without your phone. Look ahead, but don’t search out things to observe. Instead, allow the sights, sounds, and smells of the environment to flow into your senses. When you become distracted with your thoughts about what you are experiencing, or anything else, choose to return to a more receptive mode.
With practice, you will find that being open to absorbing the world around you – rather than actively searching and figuring it out – can awaken in you a sense of calm inner peace and connectedness with the world.©
#success
Mentally Strong People Don't Resent Other People's Success
Here are six things they do to prevent feelings of resentment.
At this time of my life, I’ve witnessed how resentment can become a toxic force in people’s lives. I’ve seen couples compete against one another as they strive to out-do their partner. And I’ve seen families destroyed by envy when one member becomes more successful than the rest.
Today’s world makes it hard not to resent other people’s success. Spend two minutes on social media and you’ll see how well everyone else seems to be doing.
Vacation photos from friends can remind you they have more freedom than you do. Pictures of a co-worker’s new home can provide tangible evidence that he earns much more than you do. And the number of likes a friend receives on her posts may cause you to feel like she’s more popular than you are.
But researchers have found that envying your friends on Facebook actually leads to depression . Resenting people’s success in everyday life robs you of mental strength as well.
Here are six ways to stop resenting other people’s success:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
Saying things like, “Their house is nicer than ours,” or “She’s skinnier than I am,” isn’t a healthy way to measure your self-worth. And it’s not a fair comparison. It’s like comparing apples and oranges.
Everyone has unique strengths, talents and life experiences. There will always be someone better, richer, and more accomplished but you don’t need to waste your energy resenting them. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
2. Don’t Put-Down Other People’s Accomplishments
Thinking, “He only got promoted because he kisses up to the boss,” or “She only got that award because her family is rich,” breeds feelings of resentment. You’ll never become mentally stronger by diminishing someone else’s accomplishments.
Practice acceptance. Acknowledge someone else’s achievement without passing judgment.
3. Develop an Awareness of Your Stereotypes
It’s easy to make assumptions about successful people. But just because someone is rich, famous, or business-savvy doesn’t mean he used unsavory methods to get there.
Be aware of the types of assumptions you make about people who are better off than you are. Focus on getting to know them as individuals before you draw sweeping generalizations.
4. Stop Emphasizing Your Weaknesses
Sometimes it’s easy to focus on your weaknesses and other people’s strengths. But thinking that way will only cause you to become envious , and perhaps hopeless.
Be willing to acknowledge things you could improve upon, but don’t magnify your shortcomings. Practice self-compassion and strive to do your best.
5. Quit Trying to Determine What’s Fair
Sometimes, people have more luck than others. It’s a fact of life. But focusing on what’s fair or who is most deserving isn’t a productive use of your time.
In fact, complaining about fairness can leave you feeling bitter. And those feelings of bitterness can become a huge stumbling block that will sabotage your efforts to reach your greatest potential.
6. Create Your Own Definition of Success
Remember that just because someone else has what you want, doesn’t mean you can’t have it too. But make sure you aren’t just following in someone else’s footsteps or chasing other people’s dreams . Create your own definition of success and you’ll be less threatened by people who are striving to reach their goals .
Keep your eyes on your own path. Every minute you spend thinking about other people reaching their dreams is a minute you didn’t spend working on achieving your own.©
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Do you know what really courage is?
Courage. It’s a desirable quality to have and an empowering way to be. Our heroes and inspirational leaders are labeled courageous. We are told throughout our life to “be courageous,” but that isn’t always easy. In fact, courage is often one of the most difficult qualities to truly integrate.
Why is being courageous not as easy to embody as the heroes make it look in the movies? There are two main reasons. First, being courageous means being willing to face fear and embrace uncertainty. YIKES! We don’t like being scared or not knowing what is ahead. Second, most of us do not truly understand what courage really means.
Think of something that you are scared to do. Perhaps it’s a conversation you are nervous to have, a job change you are afraid to make, or a relationship you are terrified to leave. You are feeling fear, hoping that one day you will feel courageous enough to finally do it (whatever your “it” is). You don’t like not knowing what is on the other side of a choice. In fact, it is petrifying. Staying in the known, however undesirable it may be, feels a lot cozier.
But what are you waiting for? Some miraculous moment when all of a sudden you don’t feel scared? A sign from the Uni-verse that gives you more certainty? Sorry to break it to you, but that is not the way courage is developed.
So if you are waiting for fear to disappear before you take an action or make a choice, you are going to be waiting indefinitely. You are allowing fear to paralyze you. You are mentally strategizing the perfect scenario in your head that feels “safe” enough before you take action.
Stop waiting for the perfect conditions to arise. Stop waiting to not feel scared. Feel the fear and do it anyway – THEN, and only then, you will experience true courage.
Courage is NOT the absence of fear; it is acting in spite of fear.
You become more courageous when you choose to confront fear, pain, perceived danger, uncertainty or intimidation. You embody courage when you move forward even in the face of opposition or discouragement.
Want to be a hero? How about a leader? Then you must be willing to face the fear and uncertainty in your life. And I’m just not talking about running into burning buildings to save people. Heroes and leaders speak their Truth and take actions that are aligned with Love. People who are courageous are willing to honor the calling of their hearts even when, and especially when, it feels scary.
The root of the work courage is “cor” which is the Latin word for heart. Did you know that courage originally meant to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart? That’s been my experience of courage. When people hear my story, particularly the part about leaving my successful career and later ending a marriage that I knew in my heart wasn’t right for either of us, they often acknowledge my strength.
I don’t see myself as strong, but rather as having strength of heart. I was TERRIFIED but I did it anyway. And now I actually understand what this desirable and empowering quality of courage is all about.
Are you ready to truly embody courage?
You don’t have to be fearless to be a leader and a hero in your own life. Face your fear and move forward anyway. Do not stall anymore hoping for the right conditions or clarity. Move forward. Speak up. Take an action. Care less about what other people think. What do YOU think?
What are you waiting for?
You are only denying yourself the experiences your heart is longing for. You are much braver than you give yourself credit for. Whatever the internal or external battle is going on in your life, it’s time to fight for the change you crave. The sign that you are waiting for from Universe is that longing in your heart. Stop waiting for a Universal green light. Trust that as you move forward, the Spirit’s got your back.
You will be victorious!!!!
Don’t just listen to your heart . . . honor it by being courageous. ©
#Work
Want to Increase Cooperation at Work? Turn on the Radio.
New research shows happy music helps boost cooperation.
A plethora of past research indicates that music truly has an effect on us: It has been shown to help middle schoolers develop higher verbal IQ; to reduce heart rate, blood pressure, and anxiety in patients with cardiovascular disease; and it can even allow us to perceive the faces of strangers as happier - provided we are listening to happy music, of course.
Now, newly published research in the Journal of Organizational Behavior titled 'The sound of cooperation : Musical influences on cooperative behavior', suggests that listening to happy music has a significant and positive effect on our willingness to be cooperative, as well.
In the first of two experiments, Cornell University researchers randomly assigned 78 participants to either Happy Music condition or Unhappy Music condition. The song selection in the 'Happy Music' condition consisted of "Yellow Submarine” by the Beatles; “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves; “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison; and, the theme song from “Happy Days”), and “Smokahontas” by Attack Attack! and “You Ain't No Family” by Iwrestledabearonce for the 'unhappy music' condition. The selection of songs were previously rated by 44 undergraduate students for their warmth or coldness, as well as other variables.
Participants were asked to indicate certain demographic characteristics, such as age and major. They were then given tokens and asked, while listening to either happy or unhappy music, what portion of their tokens they would allocate for their own private use, versus give to a group pool, which consisted of two other participants. They could give between 0-10 tokens, and the contributions would be multiplied by 1.5, before being divided between the three participants in the group pool. This type of experiment is known as the Voluntary Contribution Mechanism. The results of the first experiment found that participants in the Happy Music condition contributed nearly one third more than those in the Unhappy Music condition.
In order to ensure that the Unhappy Music condition did not create a negative bias , such that the finding was due to participants listening to unhappy music may have become more moody and selfish versus happy music having a positive effect on mood and cooperation, the researchers added a control condition, where no music was played. The results were the same as the first experiment, which allowed the researchers to conclude that happy music indeed had a positive effect on a person's willingness to cooperate, and contribute to the public good.
While it is difficult to find ecological validity in the study's conclusions, given its experimental and highly structured design, the researchers nevertheless conclude that this work adds to the growing emphasis put on the physical features of workplace environments, and "draws attention to the importance of soundscapes in relation to employee behavior", as well.©
a new career. Don’t live with regrets. You have to try in order to find out if you can succeed.
Determine your life priorities
If your life was relegated to five main priorities, what would they be? For me, they are:
1) good relationships with family and friends;
2) meaningful work that pays a livable income;
3) a comfortable, safe place to live in an interesting community;
4) time and enough money for fun, some travel, and relaxation;
5) living authentically and without pretense or the need to please others.
I prioritize these 5 things over expensive material things like cars, furnishings, jewelry, etc.
And I prioritize them over trying to impress others, having a powerful prestigious job, or making a huge income at the expense of my inner peace or happiness.
That is where I am in life, but YOU must determine what is most important for you. Starting over in the right career may involve some initial sacrifices, so you must decide what you can and can’t live with.
Have a sound financial plan
Do you have an emergency fund?
Do you have a chunk of money put aside for retirement and savings?
Do you have equity in your home?
Could you afford to take a salary cut if necessary or take some time off to go back to school, build a business, or look for a new job?
Would you be willing to downsize your home if necessary in order to have a new career?
Do you still have college or other expenses for your kids?
Is there a way for you to work part-time or take a side gig?
Could your spouse go back to work?
All of these questions help you prepare for the financial realities of changing careers. Once you are 40 or beyond, you’ve likely built a life that is financially and personally complicated. It will cause short-term discomfort to arrange your life and finances to prepare for a career change if it means truly starting over like I did.
Even if you change careers to an industry where your skills and experience make the transition smooth and less risky, it’s always smart to be prepared financially and have a back-up plan.
If you’ve prioritized meaningful, passionate work as one of your top life priorities, and you don’t want to live with the regret of never trying to make a change, then the relative short amount of time it takes to prepare your finances and save money will be well worth it in the long run. It might take a few years to do this, but you’ll have a lifetime to enjoy a career you love. Analyze your current career
Spend some time thinking about the career you have now that you want to change. Make a list of “things I hate about my career” and “things I love about my career.” The hate list will be longer, but there must be a few things you want to carry over to a new career.
Be crystal clear on what you want to take with you and what you want to leave behind. This is valuable information as you work toward a new career.
Also, be sure it’s the career itself that’s causing the dissatisfaction — not the work environment, the people you work with, your particular job within the career, or the particular organization. Taking a career assessment will help you clarify this if you haven’t done so already.
Entrepreneur or employee?
If you’re going to make a change, this is a good time to decide whether you want to work for yourself or for an organization. If you know you’re more comfortable in a secure and predictable environment, then working for an organization is likely the best choice for you.
If you long to make your own decisions, have flexibility, don’t mind taking personal responsibility for your success, and are willing to live with a certain amount of uncertainty, then you might love being an entrepreneur. You can read more about being a lifestyle entrepreneur with an online business here.
If you aren’t sure whether or not you want to be an entrepreneur, check out this free assessment to help you.
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