He hasn't been on my dark side, abandoned and forgotten and now that's where he lives he is surprisingly surprised that this is me when I am gone.
Читать полностью…Pining over me like you understand, like you know me is absurd,
Longing for me when you don't even know just how lethal I am is sad.
I remembered every trace of your face, outlined all your bumps, counted the steps of the bridge to your nose like it was an artifact,
I remembered every word spoken out of your hollow lips, the emotions and expressions that are magnified by candles.
~but now I remember it in a blue haze
We live somewhere you haven't been before. We wait and wait and wait some more for a miracle to sweep us away to the mythical. Hungry for the pain of existence we drink from every rumored swill. You say you envy what it is like to us, so perfectly portrayed by the lights of evening stars but do you know who we are when everyone leaves us?
We live somewhere you crave to be in. We plead and plead and plead for someone who see us behind masks. Desire rocks our boats like a vexed sea. We search for every passage out of this misery while you strive to be among us. You say we're godly and godless, unmatchable by every creature, but do you know what we did amid storms?
Tonight marked the end of passage I had chosen to follow you. I could feel the barrier lifting, my wings free from the cage and my heart lighter than feather,
Tonight marked the headstone of the beautiful place we buried in ourselves, the grand memories that filled us with joy are lost to the soil as we're left bare,
Tonight I shall rip the flower from it's roots and watch it fall to my feet, pour an ocean to it's fragile body to make sure it doesn't revive,
Tonight I shall cut your piece from me, give it back to the wind, send the dead message back to the brave.
Get me a man like mehro
-i don't mean make mistakes but someone who understands what it is to be a human not a fool who dreams of an angel.
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Читать полностью…Once upon a time, all I saw were sun rays brushing the golden of my dwelling but now I know all faults, all indiscretions, all failures are magnified. The perfect masterpiece is in my view, floating lights in my vision as it covers the flaws and what changes every fortnight you might ask, wondering if my lens is jaded. All I can say is, I have started noticing flaws, found the shades of the shadows inside of me.
Читать полностью…The rejection of the mind of the body. The crime committed against self is the cruelest of all. The slaying of your head in the middle of the night as you struggle to make a sentence to release, to express what you're experiencing or even at times the knot in your stomach twisting so painfully that you can't think straight.
The subtle signs of giving up in the way you carry yourself. The red rings of your eyes. The instants of not standing up for yourself, the uneven cuts of your raven hair, the silence of your chaotic thoughts focusing on obliterating you as you surrender to the war within.
~but then you realize nothing is worth your life. I am just waiting for it.
I constantly remind myself that my mind is a maze and I have to be careful not to sink in too deep, not to be lost, not to be gone too long in there.
Читать полностью…As she twirled on the floor of the future, non existent on the contemporary moments that determined her morrows, she jabbed and stabbed her way through untouchable fullness of time until it it became one with her present.
~and now she likes to say she owns her moments not the clocks
Make these midnights dance in the light as I rest inside all the faint moments,
Make these dreamy smiles appear real for a while as I fall on cherry waterfalls,
Make the vault of heaven obey as though I am reading librettos written on the clouds,
Make your gray skin change to olive in the middle of our roguery nights.
Your soul is a gift that keeps on giving for eternity. I tried for the longest to wrap my head around the makings of you but there aren't complex prose in which I could write without trapping some side of you inside a box, shadowed behind the sparkles of your other qualities. And this dilemma you craft from nothing makes all the witches and magicians doubt their sorcery.
Читать полностью…Secrets are not immortal in the thrill they provide and what reveals them diminishes any permanent interest.
-no one's little secret.
Breathe into this dead air and you shall know the desperation of acceptance,
Breath into those delicate eyes and you'll forever instill the agony of a slow burning dance,
Breath into the heart that was raided and you'll know your hands can't be a steady balance,
Breath into your intoxicated senses and you'll know the taste of a longing trance.
-so don't breath in, breath out.
I soothe the hell roaming free in your chest as though it is my agony to subside,
I train the lines of your forehead to disappear as though you would care for my side.
It must be all of you awakening in the paleness of the night, to rise like phoneix in unjust death. It is deepening crack of a valley as clarity falls in the hands of demons. Through all the screams and cries, you close your eyes in an attempt to play pretend, to not bear witness to ruthless days, but it demands to be seen and felt. On the contrary to its cruelty, it doesn't know shame nor shyness. And the more you push it out of your life, the harder it holds you.
Читать полностью…People attempting to get you to turn back after they let go is needed for the measure of your boundary. They're checking if you're still the person they left.
Читать полностью…In each sigh, you yearned warmth from my soul, and in every pinning gaze, you wanted kindness to overflow from my words but you'll only be met with silence that snows.
Читать полностью…In the psyche of the roman literature, in the scent of victorian perfume or the worn out paper of greek's philosophy, in the black stripe of an egyptian dye, in the sharp sword of far east's yang lingers, old and forgotten reaching and longing to the modern era with a throat that's mute and eyes of envy. It hunts down the beautiful dreams and murders the damned only for it to be defeated by time, the spaces of today and tomorrow that widen in every chase. It will always be in love with time and all it's power.
Читать полностью…Loss comes from ownership. And it belongs to those who own. I have never owned anything so imagine feeling a loss when you don't even own yourself.
Читать полностью…We shared a glass of our tears, in the swrill of the heavy crimson wine it echoed back my misery and your distress. I told you of the bullets and cuts that I still wince from. I told you about my remains laying lonely with blood-thirsty assassins. You chunked another bottle, breaking the glass.
We shared the depth of darkness, the limits of sins branded on the night sky as it's thoughts reflected in the hollow edges of this dainty corridor. I told you of the void on my bed, the bad memories that hang on to my chambers.
~it was just a wine, you were just my notebook