It hurts when you want to express what you feel, but all you can do is stay quiet.❤️
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I always wonder why healing seems different for me. I mean, others would talk about how they're back to being whole and perfect again after spending time attending to their broken pieces, whereas I always feel like I'm never the same. Like something always remains no matter how invisble the scars look now. My eyes can't see them, but I can definitely feel them with the lightest of touch. Imperfections. They're like a constant reminder everytime my heart fills with joy, that even though I can no longer feel pain from the scar itself, the memory of how much each cut hurt comes back for a split second and the feeling lingers for a little while.
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still, my heart longs for days when my younger self looked a lot happier; days when there was nothing much on her plate but her dreams and innocence; and days when she always wear that genuine smile every time she keeps small things in her hands and she holds them closely in her heart. she was undeniably bold back then, not to mention genuinely reckless—she said what she said, did what she did, but there were times that perhaps she didn’t mean some things. she was a lot of a careless young girl who only cared about dreaming regardless of how the world sees it. there are times that I envy her for she never really cared a lot of fitting in and going after all standards. she played well on stage not because she delivered her dialogues well, but how she made a lot of turns that were not meant to be part of the show. she was indeed stubborn.
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“one day you’ll be genuinely happy you’re alive. keep fighting. it’s going to be worth it.”
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You're not alone,
If you're getting drowned in your own thoughts,
If you're feeling caged inside your body. And wherever you go, there is an urge to run away from everything.
If you're thinking about bursting out and telling everything to someone, but there is none who can understand you,
If you're assuming that someone will come to save you, but the reality is hard to accept for you: no one is coming.
Do you know what I'm feeling?
I'm feeling hundreds of drilling machines trying to pierce into my head, just to get out whatever I have collected in there. Which have equal strength in fighting back with my inner self. And I'm the damage they are causing.
My thoughts and my feelings are not saving me; they are drilling their roots deep into me so that I can't take them out ever. They are trying to replace my cells with whatever I consume. I consume fights, hate, anger, shouts, and moreover, a personal space filled with no light. I consume darkness because I'm a night owl.
I'm getting away from me, from my emotions; I don't feel them anymore. At least, not all of them. I feel some, related to destruction, which I had buried in the fear that they might eat me from the inside. And I was stupid to bury them in my heart; now when they have eaten every other emotion, I only feel them.
I know it's a sign for me to take some steps to stop it from coming into my head. But where should I bury them now?
I didn’t regret being kind and understanding people; I regretted being treated in the wrong way.
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"Make memories with them" - They said
"Photos stay but people leave"- They continued.
But no one ever mentioned how painful it is when you have memories with someone who is not there anymore.
No one ever mentioned how hard it is to forget someone you have endless memories with.
No one ever mentioned that memories can be a stone that makes you lose balance while you're walking through life.
Memories are good as long as the people you made them with exist.
But once they're gone. They become nightmares.
📷 Normal People
Here's a reminder for you :
-Don't chase anyone
-Don't beg someone to stay
-Know your worth
-Save space for people who matter
-Accept what cannot be changed
-Leave what isn't for you
-Prioritize Yourself
-Actions Over Words
-Happiness Over Everything
-Love yourself
How you are treated is more important than how much you like someone. You're too good for someone to be unsure about you.
And by this, I pray we get the future we always talk about having.❤️
You are not alone in this battle. You have God. Even when things are not going according to your plan, trust His plan. You’ll get through it and when that happens, I want to know the story of how you surmount your challenges. Be strong and keep fighting with resting in between.
—Franz Mherryon
As you get older, you will reach that point wherein you don't force any connections any longer. You value those who stay but respect those who wants to go on with their lives without you.
You don't chase people anymore because you value yourself and your inner peace. Most importantly, you choose your battles wisely, and you no longer need validation from everyone.
You are not the happiest for now, but you are definitely in a better place than before. 🤍
Don't cry over the past,
it's gone.
Don't stress about the future,
it hasn't arrived.
Live in the present and
make it beautiful. ❤️
I don't go around saving other hearts as often as I used to. I guess life finally took a toll on me.
Now I know how tiring it could be to listen to other people's drama when you have more than enough that you wish you can just go numb. Some days, I just don't want to give my thoughts a chance to drown me. Some days, I don't care if I'm not very lovable. I just want to heal and feel whole again.
If you see me just lying around not helping other people pick their broken pieces, I hope you don't mind. This time, I just want to put myself first.
—Jun Mark Patilan
Strange as it seems, maybe this is how I heal. I know that everyone has their own healing process, and maybe this is it for me. To be covered in invisible scars and know how each one hurt like the back of my hand. Maybe I won't feel perfectly fine again, but I don't think it's such a bad thing.
I guess I want to remember the nights I cried myself to sleep.
I want to recall all the silent conversations I had with the stars.
I want to be able to replay memories of my old, hurting self, because they give meaning to how better things are now. They're the reason I get so emotional for all the little things finally going right.
So, yeah. Maybe I'll never be back to my perfect old self again, but I know it doesn't mean I can't shine again.
—Jun Mark Patilan
that younger version of me must have learned a lot from my grown up version and she’s definitely thankful for making it this far. and even growing older, she is still wearing the same heart when she was younger —she has still these childhood dreams she can never outgrow,
and that is somehow finding peace in small things and living life for the ordinary ones—she means, not necessarily for greater things but for genuine happiness and meaningful journey.
Meeting the right person may be considered a blessing for anyone's life but the right person should be met at the right time because if it was not happened he/ she will be a normal person just passing through our lives so, the right person & the right time eventually needs a miracle
We deserve someone who truly loves us 🤍
You're not alone
If there is a void in you and you have been trying to fill it for many years but you still feel empty at night,
If there is a broken home in you and it is causing you more pain with each passing day.
If there is a heart in you that you don't own, you feel as if it is still attached to someone else,
If there is something you want to achieve for your peace but you don't know what it is.
You're not alone
If you're confused about whether to choose yourself or themselves because losing them might cause the same pain you're feeling by not choosing yourself,
If you're uncertain about leaving your past behind, because the past is still your only daily dose of happiness.
If you're going through the phase of carrying a burden, and whatever you have done all your life has become one. Still, you refuse to fight back.
If you're going through the emotional & physical weakness even after knowing it's taking your life away.
Believe me,
You're not alone if you're not living your life up to your expectations; just try to find happiness in small moments. And this too shall pass.
- Sohrab Amaan
Strong people don't have a lots of friend.
They walk alone, fight alone, smile alone & cry alone ❤️🩹💫
People justify being a night owl, but they don't know that by staying awake at night, you give it a shelter in you, and with time, you become a part of that darkness.
I think I'm becoming one—a bad version of myself. Who forgets his laugh within a day as well as how to talk to people with manners. As if I'm living a life close to disastrous. As if all my life I had learned nothing like love.
Love is just an illusion I live in, which makes me happy for days only. But the night is what I'm afraid of now. I don't want to stay awake during my nights; I just want to stop these drills from being so fast so that I can sleep peacefully without a headache.
- Sohrab Amaan
Should I write those down in my laptop and keep it shut forever? Because neither I want to read them again to give them life nor do I want someone else to read them and become their new home.
Or should I write those down in letters and send them back to everyone from where they came? Because the guilt, the regret, the anger, the hate, the cry & tears, the shouts, and the screams are not mine alone. All those people helped me give birth to them in me before leaving. And then they left, so I think it's theirs as well.
Or should I dig a grave for me and wait for the time when they will crawl over my head declaring a victory over someone like me who was left behind, unloved?
Now, I'm weak—emotionally, physically, and metaphorically. I give metaphor of a river while talking about my tears, and silly me, I have built a mountain in me to produce that river, but it's hard to go through for anyone.
So, I think I'm already away from all of my emotions and from people, not to save myself but to save them from drowning in my river or from falling in love with me.
- Sohrab Amaan
When you feel lonely and depressed , all you have to do is to .. look at the sky . ☁️
By: Rania abdeen
I try to silence my emotions, even if they are screaming to be heard. I try to keep it all to myself, believing they will vanish without a trace as time goes by. But I was wrong; it didn’t leave me; it just sits somewhere else within me. And every night, it haunts me—never give me proper sleep. And to tell you the truth, it is exhausting and will-draining. That’s why one morning I decided to get up on my bed, slide open the curtains on my window pane, take a shower, wear my not-so-tidy confidence, and proceed to my work like I wasn’t carrying heavy loads on my shoulders; but this time I was brave enough to unapologetically express those suppressed emotions that I have kept for a very long time. To set boundaries about my idea of kindness, which I thought before was manifested by always understanding people’s aggressive emotions while bottling up mine. But I realized that by always doing that, I gave them the authority to invalidate mine—a regret on my part.
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Just before Ramadan, the hearts are heavy, some are broken, some have lost precious souls, some are drowning in sin and some are simply trying to stay a float. I ask Allāh swt to heal us, protect us and allow us to reach this blessed month— a month of true reformation.
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— The most beautiful people I know are those who have experienced defeat, pain, struggle and loss, and found their way out from the bottom. These people are full of their unique understanding of life, compassion and kindness. Beautiful people do not just appear, they do.
✍️Sab'r in my heart
You are currently struggling, but you don’t want the people around you to know. It must have been really hard pretending that you have almost everything under control when in fact, you are actually messing things up and you don’t know anymore what to do. I know that it’s not easy for you to talk about the things that have been running in your mind lately because even you, yourself, don’t even understand it anymore. There are things that are not going according to your favor, then other things will start messing up as well, and some things will get out of control. Sometimes, you question your life and the hardships that go with it. I know it’s hard trying to pretend that you are having a sunny day when you are actually experiencing a storm. I know it’s hard, but I want you not to give up. This isn’t just your fight.
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the first step is always scary, but when you started to make yourself familiar to the ground you are walking in, you will eventually find yourself taking the path with ease. keep on trying, believe in yourself because somebody out there is rooting for you too.
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i try to remember that being gentle with myself has helped me a lot more than being cruel ♥️
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Strong people don't have lots of friend.
They walk alone, fight alone, smile alone
and cry alone ✨💕
