Over the time, I realised that I have not recovered from many things. There were times, even when I was still bleeding profusely, I just shake myself up and moved on with my life. It’s not that I did not allow myself to truly feel and deal with the pain, but I was too used of being strong that I was afraid I will lose the only protective mechanism that I have.
I am a soul full of grief, anger, and longing. I am a keeper of everything broken in my life and those shattered pieces left by all the people that had been in some chapters of my book. Their memories forever etched inside of my heart – laughing, screaming, crying, sometimes calling my name and jarred me up from my deep slumber. Most of the times they were too heavy to hold and too scattered for me to keep up with.
I am probably the strongest girl you would ever meet, for no one knows how well I hide my weaknesses and wounds, no one would ever guess how damaged I was actually inside. Maybe that’s why the universe gave me endless papers and quills, so I can let all the pains running free, so I can calmly breathe, even if it is just for a little while.
M.
they said that the eyes are the window of our soul. it's so honest and pure. perhaps, that's the reason why i can't take a glimpse in other people's eyes, i'm afraid of what i can see through it. there's a fear inside me that they can also unveil what i'm trying to conceal behind my eyes because i'm not comfortable answering the question “are you alright?”
my lips can say “i'm okay” but my eyes will never lie that it's always the same. i'm barely breathing. (i'm tired)
—izles
Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing love for myself. I feel so insecure, and I start hating my flaws. I feel like I'm not enough. I just can't adore myself. It seems like I couldn't see my own worth. There are times where I just hate seeing myself in the mirror. And sometimes, I cry over the fact that I can't change myself. I want to be someone else. I want to be like the others who confidently accept and love themselves. I just can't find reasons to love myself right now. I feel like a failure; I feel like I am so worthless; and I feel like I am not someone who is worthy of being loved.
There are times where I question my worth and hate myself a lot. The truth is, I don't know how to love myself. I'm having a hard time accepting that I am not always good enough. That sometimes, I fail, I break, and I disappoint too many people. I find it really hard to love myself. Maybe someday I'll regret it, and maybe that day I'll finally realize how much I deserve to be loved by myself.
— Shiori X
i hope someday you have a courage to run from the things that make you miserable.
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I hope someday you will gather all your courage to walk away from all the things that doesn't give you comfort. From all the things that fills your heart with insecurities. I hope like a butterfly in a vast garden of a different flower you will also give yourself the freedom to meet people that could possibly give you enough reason to stay. Not because you are obligated, but because you are happy and they want you to. I hope the day will come where you won't need to mourn for the heartbreaks that you really don't deserve in the first place. Close the door tightly for those who left, and keep the one who stay.
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I'm sorry for forcing you to stay. I'm sorry for forcing you to make time for me and to give me attention. I'm sorry for forcing you to love me even when you don't want me anymore. I thought I could make you love me right. I thought if I continue holding on to you, you would learn to treat me right. But you didn't. In fact, you always make me cry. You always make me sad and always make my heart pounding with pain.
I'm so unhappy, and you never care at all. Why do you have to make me feel so alone when I'm with you? Why do you always have to make me beg for your love? I wish I could just learn to unlove you. I'm hurting so bad, yet you always have a way to hurt me even more. I'm tired— not of loving you, but I'm tired of all the sadness and pain that you're making me feel.
People say,
“A good heart is always happy.”
But I think a good heart gets hurt very badly too often because it expects only good things from others. ❤️🩹
the hardest part is when you can't control your emotions anymore. you just suddenly cry and breakdown.
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Being a sensitive person costs you a lot, you always try to hide your feelings, you always pretend that nothing happened in order not to be labeled as dramatic, nobody knows how details hurt you, nobody knows how much you will overthink a word told by a beloved person, nobody will ever understand how those tiny actions matter.❤️🩹
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What if,
see that person? That one who looks so detached and mysterious?
Imagine! What if they fall
in love with you?
Then you get to see their smile,
what they look like without their glasses,
and how cute they look
when they're embarrassed –
all these things that no one else gets to see. Just you.
Ah, how sweet! How special! How
selfish.
I'm sorry,
it must have hurt when they didn't
catch you and left you
bleeding and broken beyond repair.
But be bitter not.
Nothing ever comes for free anymore;
You are now only paying the price for
falling and failing to figure out
that you have been
selfishly expecting someone to be
someone that they are not.
The first time I met you,
I started with "what if" too.
But as we got closer, oh my God,
as we got closer,
I started wanting instead:
I want to hold your hand
and feel your pulse,
I want to wake up next to you
every morning,
and every mourning
when I'm broken and falling apart,
I want to be embraced by you
so gently
yet at the same time
so tightly
that it just…
puts me back together.
Hey… I'm done
living my life imagining
what it would be like to
meet someone like you.
You're here...
You are finally here…
Ah... I can now let go of “what ifs”
and start embracing “what is.”
I guess this is the part where I say
I love you --
even though you steal all the blanket,
even though there are days
when you can only love
yourself, and
even though you turned out to be completely
different from what I expected.
Fear not, because this time,
there is no way you can ever let me
down.
Show me a hundred sides of you
that you think will change my mind
and I will show you
a hundred reasons why
I can never love you
less
now that I know you
more.
― suishima, What Is.
I’ve noticed you’re going through some tough times and I want you to know that I’m here for you. You’re incredibly strong, even if it might not feel that way right now.
Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to take time for yourself. You’re not alone in this journey.
If you need someone to talk to, to sit in silence with, or just need a break from everything, I’m here. Together, we can face these challenges.
Your resilience is inspiring, and I believe brighter days are ahead. Let’s take it one day at a time. ✨
I've always been the sacrifice—for the greater good of everyone.
Nobody... has ever made me feel that they can give up the whole fvcking world to save me from misery. So, I end up walking away, like a good sacrificial lamb that I should be.
Yet at times, I pray that someone's gonna stop and pull me back to life saying,
"I don't care if the world will vanish just by the mere choice of you trying to live. You've sacrificed enough.
So please, this time...save yourself.
'Cause the world can definitely handle itself without you pulling that heroic stunt that's gonna get you emotionally dèad."
—K. RDV.
people know her
as a woman
who's independent,
responsible one
but no one
knows that
she also
gets tired,
she also stays awake
at night to cry,
she also thinks
of giving up,
she also tries
to end her life,
she's strong but
she breaks too
sweetie,
she's just doing it silently.
— Stell
I don’t just let go of something or someone just because they weren’t meant for me. I hold on to it for a while until my heart gets tired of waiting, my eyes stop crying; And until I can finally accept that it wasn’t really for me. Like any other, I need time to let go of the things and that person. So, sorry if I still keep on telling the story about it. It still lingers in me. Those what-ifs still haunt me. And I could not help but still crave those things and people I thought were mine to keep.
—Hyera Maze
Silent breakdown, because no one knows how tired and exhausted I am.
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It's okay..
You'll be okay.
Maybe not now but one day you will.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing your best already.
Maybe you're feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted. Maybe you feel like giving up everything all at once because you just had enough..
But you're stronger than this.
I believe in you.
Losing yourself.
Remember when they continually mistreated you to a point where, you formed a habit of saying "I'm used to it".
Remember when they never appreciated everything you did for them and you began to tell yourself "It will be okay".
Remember when they would always undervalue you, and you learned how to say "I'm fine".
Remember when you were always put last and you naturally reacted with "It's whatever".
Remember when they would always take you for granted and you dealt with it by always saying "Everything will be okay".
Remember when you were unhappy and you always told people on a daily basis "I'm doing alright".
If you're reading this right now, then you need to understand... nobody is worth losing yourself over.
Not one person on this earth is worth suffering for, at the expense of your own happiness.
And nobody is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making them happy.
You may not want to hear this, but leaving this person is the only way you'll be able to find yourself again and truly become that person you used to be.
Take my advice and ..... Choose this person's absence over their disrespect.
~ Cody Bret
I hope someday you will gather all your courage and walk away from the things that left you hanging into nothingness. Made you question your worth, and made you fall down on your knees. I hope someday you'll get all the lights you deserve after being in the cage of darkness. You have all the potential to gain your own shine, please be courageous not to stay at the place which no longer serves you utmost respect and peace.
Walk away if it suffocates you. Change everything, grow and relearn.
—Writes Yna
I thought loving you hard will make you love me better. But it wasn't enough. I was not enough. Most of the time, I just wish not to wake-up anymore. So that you would never see me again. So that my heart would stop aching. And maybe, when I'm gone, only then you would realize that I was always been there for you all along.
It makes me sad how you treated me poorly despite of loving you so selflessly. It was sad loving someone with all I have and realized that I was still not enough.
— Shiori X
80% of women use silence to express pain. You know she's truly hurt when she chooses to ignore you.
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nothing hurts more than wiping your own tears, knowing that you can't tell anyone about the things you were crying about.
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I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now, all i can say is that, it hurts a lot.💔
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Look mom, your daughter who used to cry because she wanted a toy, is now crying because she saw such a heavy situation and can only be silent and accept everything without having to tell anyone.
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Sometimes we don’t want advice or solutions to our problems, we simply need someone to listen without judgment, to be there, to remind us that we aren’t alone, to hold our hands, to make us believe that we will be okay. ❤️
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what the worst part of being strong? no one knows you are struggling too :’)
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For those of you that have experienced some hardships, don't give up on your dreams.
sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to leave.
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“that feeling when you're too tired and drained from everything and you don't know what to do anymore but cry.
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the worst part about being strong is nobody knows you're hurting.
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