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"My daughter is unhappy in her marriage, and I don’t know how to help"
The situation described is a complex emotional and familial conflict. The husband, still heavily influenced by his mother, seems unable to separate emotionally and psychologically from her, which creates tension within the new family. His behavior indicates a lack of autonomy, and he may be using his wife as a way to assert control over his mother or draw her attention. The wife, in turn, is caught in a challenging position, feeling neglected and emotionally unsupported.
The only practical solution is for the couple to live separately, away from his mother. However, if the husband is resistant to this idea, it suggests he may not be fully invested in creating a healthy, independent family unit. His motivations for marriage may be rooted in personal or familial dynamics rather than the desire to build a partnership. In this case, it would be helpful to support the daughter in understanding that her emotional well-being is a priority and help her explore her options, whether that means setting boundaries with her husband or reconsidering the relationship altogether.
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A wise man punishes not because a wrongdoing has been committed, but to prevent it from being committed again.
— Plato
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Caring for one's appearance and dedicating time to beauty rituals is often tied to body perception and self-esteem. Here are the key aspects that explain why it can be challenging for some women:
Identification with the body
As psychoanalyst Jean-David Nasio points out, when a person perceives their body as an inseparable part of themselves ("I am my body"), caring for it may feel foreign or even unnecessary. The body is expected to "function" without special attention.
Seeing the body as property
When a person views their body as a separate but valuable asset, it becomes easier to care for it. This perspective turns beauty rituals into a way of maintaining an important resource, similar to maintaining a home or car.
Psychological factors
Psychologist Robert Neuburger connects self-care with feelings of significance. If a woman feels unnecessary or uninteresting, her motivation for external care diminishes. However, social and family obligations, as in Marina's example, can prompt her to return to these rituals even during difficult periods.
Emotional state
Experiences such as divorce, loss of loved ones, or stress can temporarily suppress the desire to care for oneself. During such times, energy is spent on survival rather than maintaining appearance.
Influence of surroundings
Social beauty standards and expectations from acquaintances also play a role. Self-care may be a way to save face in society, but without internal motivation, this approach rarely brings satisfaction.
How to address this:
Change body perception. Try seeing your body not as "me" but as a friend that requires attention and care.
Find personal meaning. Self-care should bring joy to you, not conform to others' expectations.
Take small steps. Start simple: a face mask or a walk outdoors can be the first step toward deeper self-care.
Address emotions. Therapy can help work through internal barriers preventing self-care.
Caring for one's appearance is not just a reflection of style; it is a way of expressing self-love and acknowledging one's worth.
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Even if you feed a forest rooster from a golden dish, it will still fly back to the forest.
Social expectations and gender differences may lead your husband to constantly struggle with his emotions: there is what he feels and what he believes is "allowed" to express. He is used to avoiding vulnerability, dependence, and feelings of weakness. This creates challenges in connecting with you—a woman who wants to hear that she is important and appreciated. Often, men like your husband channel their emotions into activities such as work, sports, or hobbies.
For your partner to start opening up, he needs to feel comfortable and safe with you. This will happen when he sees that you yourself freely express your thoughts and emotions—that you are authentic and vulnerable.
Avoid asking him to share his feelings directly. Instead, talk about yourself—your emotions, experiences, and feelings toward him. Speak from your heart without overthinking, analyzing, or attempting to influence or control him. Once he sees you connecting with your emotions and expressing them clearly, simply, and without judgment or expectations, he may one day follow your example.
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The Eternal Life of Ramakrishna 🌼
As Ramakrishna neared the end of his earthly journey, he could neither eat nor drink, which caused great concern among his disciples. Swami Vivekananda, overcome with emotion, knelt at his master’s feet and pleaded:
"Why don’t you ask God to take away your illness? At least ask Him to let you eat and drink! God loves you, and if you ask, a miracle will surely happen! He will free you."
Other disciples joined in the plea.
Ramakrishna, moved by their devotion, replied, "Very well, I will try."
Closing his eyes, his face radiated an inner light, and tears streamed down his cheeks. In that moment, all pain seemed to dissolve. After a time, he opened his eyes, meeting the joyful gazes of his disciples, who were certain a miracle had occurred.
Ramakrishna spoke:
"Vivekananda, you fool! You asked me to do something foolish, and I, in my simplicity, obeyed. I asked God, 'Why can’t I eat or drink? At least let me do that much.' And God replied, 'Why do you cling to this body? You live on in your disciples. Through them, you eat and drink.' In that moment, I felt a profound freedom, and I wept."
Ramakrishna’s sense of unity with all life transcended his physical being. When his wife, Sarada Devi, asked if she should follow mourning customs after his death, he gently reassured her:
"I am not leaving. I will remain here in everything around you. You will see me in the eyes of those who love me, feel me in the wind and rain. When a bird takes flight, perhaps you will remember me. I will always be here."
Sarada Devi honored his wisdom. She wore no mourning attire and shed no tears, finding solace in the love of Ramakrishna’s disciples. To her, he was never gone, for his presence continued to illuminate her life.
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Crisis in Relationships: How to Keep the Inner Fire Alive After 45? 🔥
As women age, psychological strength and relationship stability often rely heavily on their emotional sensitivity, intuition, and ability to smooth over rough patches. It is their ability to maintain the freshness of relationships and detect early signs of distress that plays a crucial role in the longevity of the relationship.
However, as women reach a certain age, they naturally experience heightened anxiety, driven by fears of aging, concerns about their health, beauty, and attractiveness, and the fear that their partner might turn to younger women. These feelings can undermine a woman's self-confidence, and unfortunately, they are often very perceptible to men, causing instability in the relationship.
Moreover, intimacy often becomes a challenge in this period. Although, in theory, sexual experience should bring the most pleasure in later years, women often find themselves lacking desire or feeling disappointed with their intimate life. In some cases, discomfort and pain arise due to vaginal dryness. This can certainly affect the quality of intimacy and, as a result, both partners' satisfaction.
Navigating Relationship Crises After 45: Hormonal Changes and Solutions 💫
These feelings are often connected to inevitable hormonal changes known as menopause. Female sex hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone, play a crucial role in the reproductive system, emotional well-being, youthful appearance, sexual desire, and satisfaction.
As the hormonal balance naturally shifts, it can affect a woman's appearance, mood, self-confidence, and, importantly, the relationship between partners. It’s crucial to talk openly with your partner about the changes you are experiencing, seek psychological support if adapting to these changes is difficult, and pay extra attention to your health and appearance. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and self-care can help a woman maintain a positive attitude and confidence.
Natural Support During Menopause 🌿
During premenopause and menopause, it is essential to consider additional support for the body. There are special bio-complexes based on the power of medicinal plants designed to help women navigate this transitional period. These include phytoestrogens — natural compounds that closely resemble the structure of the body’s estrogen and help maintain hormonal balance, keeping youthfulness, sexual appeal, good health, and a positive outlook.
For example, Lady's Formula "Menopause. Enhanced Formula" contains phytoestrogens and additional plant components that promote lasting youthfulness and sexual vitality. One key ingredient is Maca root, a natural aphrodisiac that helps maintain skin freshness and elasticity, as well as natural lubrication in the intimate zone, boosting libido and enhancing sexual pleasure.
By supporting the body with these natural remedies, women can better manage the challenges of menopause while maintaining emotional and physical well-being, ensuring a fulfilling relationship even as they age.
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"What is necessary is always easy to obtain. It is only for excess that we must toil and sweat."
— Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Humility and its Role in Resolving Conflicts
A recent study involving 284 couples from Detroit explored how humility impacts relationships, particularly the ability to forgive. Participants were asked questions like, "How humble are you?", "How humble is your partner?", and "Would you forgive your partner if they hurt or insulted you?". The results revealed that individuals who perceived their partners as humble were more likely to forgive them, whereas those with arrogant partners were much less inclined to offer forgiveness.
Unfortunately, humility is not highly valued in today's society. We often emphasize confidence and standing up for one's rights, rather than objective self-assessment and tolerance for others' opinions.
As a therapist, I often find that one of the biggest barriers to therapy is both partners’ reluctance to admit their wrongdoings. Arrogant individuals tend to believe they are always right, making it difficult for them to forgive, as they never acknowledge their own mistakes. This leads to intolerance toward others' faults.
Is Humility the Key to Well-being?
Arrogant and self-assured people often believe their religion, political party, or nation is superior to all others, leading to inevitable conflicts—both personal and cultural. Humility, on the other hand, prevents conflicts and encourages cooperation and mutual aid. Just as arrogance breeds more arrogance, humility typically fosters humility, promoting constructive dialogue, understanding, and peace.
In Conclusion: Healthy Humility is Key to a Healthy Self-Esteem
Healthy humility (not to be confused with neurotic self-deprecation) helps us see ourselves and others realistically. To assess the world accurately and understand our role in it, we must perceive reality as it is. Humility helps us find the compromises necessary to solve problems. Therefore, healthy humility is the foundation of healthy self-esteem.
History shows that arrogance and pride hindered the ability of many cultures and nations to adapt when change was crucial for survival. Ancient Greece and Rome declined as they became more arrogant and self-assured, forgetting the value of humility. "Pride goes before destruction," the Bible says. Can we, as individuals and as a society, once again recognize the importance of humility?
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"To please everyone is an art that no one can master" — Allen Leuten recht getan ist eine Kunst, die niemand kann.
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🦅 The Bird 🌳
A bird sitting on a tree never fears the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings. Always believe in yourself. 💪
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⏰ Habits of People Who Always Get Things Done 🚀
1️⃣ Waking Up Before the Alarm Rings
People who always stay on top of things have an “internal alarm clock.” Science explains it: the brain’s suprachiasmatic nucleus regulates our biological clock and can adjust to a daily routine. Punctual people usually follow a strict schedule, so their bodies adapt to their rhythm.
2️⃣ Planning Ahead
Punctual people pick out their clothes the night before so they don’t waste time in the morning. Instead of frantically rummaging through their wardrobe, they focus on more important things—like having a good breakfast. They also anticipate that things might go wrong in the morning and allocate extra time to handle any unexpected issues.
3️⃣ Building in Extra Time
Punctual individuals always arrive early or right on time because they’re used to planning ahead. If the journey takes 30 minutes, they leave 40-45 minutes in advance to be safe. 🛣️
4️⃣ Valuing Other People’s Time
You might secretly agree that “harmless” tardiness is actually rude. Punctual people strongly believe this. For them, being on time is crucial because they respect that everyone’s time is equally valuable. 🤝
5️⃣ Staying Organized
They never have an overly packed schedule. Their calendar is always up to date, and they know exactly how long it will take to reach their destination and never miss a meeting or event.
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😊 To Be Happy… 🌈
Fill your hands with work, your heart with love, your mind with purpose, your memory with useful knowledge, and your future with hope. ✨
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💡 How to Find Your Life’s Work 🌟
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." — Confucius’ famous quote has become a motto of our time. But what if you have no idea what could become your passion? 🤔
1️⃣ Ask Yourself Three Simple Questions
— What topic could I read 500 books about without getting bored? 📚
— What could I do for five years without getting paid? 💭
— What would I dedicate my life to if money weren’t an issue? 💸
Finding answers isn’t easy, but the insights could be life-changing. 🌱
2️⃣ Let Go of the Belief That Your Life’s Work Must Earn Money
"Anything that makes your heart beat faster is worth your effort." Are there things you would happily invest time and energy into, even if they don’t pay? It’s okay to earn money elsewhere for now, as long as you have time to make progress in what you love. ✨
3️⃣ Figure Out What You Don’t Want to Do
Make a list of jobs or activities that don’t resonate with you. Sometimes, contrast makes it easier to discover what you truly love. Write down the names of people you envy professionally. Ask yourself: "Whose job or lifestyle makes me feel a pang of envy? What field do I want to try but am too scared to pursue?" 🌈
4️⃣ Identify Areas Where You’re "Good Enough"
Even if you don’t have extraordinary skills in one area, you likely have a mix of abilities across different fields. Combining them could lead to discovering your true calling. 🌟
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