Let's See What Time Reveals ⏳
Once, a Chinese peasant lived his whole life in toil, amassing no wealth but accumulating wisdom. He toiled in the fields from morning till night alongside his son. One day, the son said:
"Father, we have a misfortune; our horse has run away."
"Why do you call it misfortune?" asked the father. "Let's see what time reveals."
Several days later, the horse returned, bringing another horse with it.
"Father, what luck! Our horse has returned and brought another one with it," exclaimed the son.
"Why do you call it luck?" replied the father. "Let's see what time reveals."
Later on, the son tried to ride the new horse, which was unaccustomed to carrying riders. The horse reared up and threw the young man off, causing him to break his leg.
"Father, what a misfortune! I've broken my leg," cried the son.
"Why do you call it misfortune?" calmly responded the father. "Let's see what time reveals."
The son didn't quite share his father's philosophy and remained silent.
A few days later, the emperor's messengers arrived in the village, conscripting all able-bodied young men for the war. They came to the old peasant's house, saw his son's broken leg, and left without taking him.
It was only then that the young man understood that one should never be entirely sure what's a stroke of good luck and what's a misfortune. Life is like that: what seems bad can turn out to be good, and vice versa.
It's best not to rush to conclusions and give time a chance to reveal the true nature of things. 🕰️💭
#Psychology
@Motivation
The Myth about Emotions, Part 2 🦄
"You can't trust feelings" 🚫❤️
Arguments in favor:
Many who live with this belief have a moral right to it; they've suffered to reach this conclusion 🤕. The conviction that emotions are meaningless often originates in childhood: no one ever considers the feelings of such a child, nor do they respect or understand them. Gradually, the child stops understanding himself 🤷. Since feelings and emotions don't vanish, they start leading an uncontrollable life of their own, resulting in unexpected actions and sudden outbursts 😡.
The individual starts fearing themselves and avoids discussions about feelings even more - trusting them becomes dangerous. They immerse themselves in work 📊, often clueless about what they genuinely want or like, versus what's a fleeting whim. It's a challenging and often tumultuous life 🌪️.
What actually happens:
Feelings always tell the truth 🌟. Existential psychologists view them as another perception organ 🧠. Just as eyes perceive light 👁️ and ears hear sounds 👂, feelings grasp what's genuinely crucial for us in a given situation. That's what moves us ❤️. The challenge lies in distinguishing feelings that speak about us from those about the situation: does what I feel now pertain to this context or is it linked to a past experience - a memory, a trigger, a pain? 🤔
Those who can differentiate between these two types of feelings can confidently trust their impressions 😌. Intuitive accuracy is present in those who've trained to ignore emotions irrelevant to the current situation. For instance, one might forgo a winter ski trip 🎿, thinking, "I'll look silly on the slopes since I'm the worst skier in our group."
The fear of embarrassment, the apprehension of being the worst - these are likely habitual feelings 😓. Realizing this, one should ask: am I going on this trip to be the best? The actual objective might be relaxation and socialization 🏔️🤗. Then, does it matter who's better or worse? The fear of appearing unsuccessful is an emotion about oneself and doesn't relate to the situation. Through feelings, we learn something significant about ourselves, stop fearing our weaknesses, and gradually learn to understand ourselves better 👥❤️.
#Psychology
@Motivation
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Do money make people happy? 💰
Numerous studies prove: it's not money that makes us happy. But why is this myth so popular? 🤔
In reality, money does bring happiness, but a little and not for long 🌦️. Comparing different countries and people of different wealth within the same countries, it's evident that for the poor, happiness is directly tied to material well-being, and their sense of happiness increases with their income 🌍💸.
However, once basic life needs are met – having a home, medical care, no hunger, the ability to afford relaxation, and providing good education for children – further income increase doesn't make people happier 🏡🍎📚. There's a wonderful quote by Sholom Aleichem that captures this sentiment, "It's not so good with money, as it's bad without it" 📖✨.
People for whom money is especially important tend to feel less happy than those who take a philosophical approach to the material side of life 🤷♂️💭.
#Psychology
@Motivation
Knowledge and Wisdom 📚✨
A wise master believed that a person should acquire both knowledge and wisdom.
When asked about the difference, he replied:
Knowledge is gained through reading books.
And wisdom?
By reading the book that you yourself are. 🧘♂️💡
#Psychology
@Motivation
The Myth about Emotions, Part 3 🦄
"Willpower governs our feelings" 🧠💪
Arguments in favor:
There are numerous examples in books about famous athletes, inventors, and other outstanding individuals... 📚🌟 But those who rely on this philosophy often suppress ("forget") their feelings and don't truly control them. Their emotions become unconscious and thus dangerous 😓. For instance, someone who considered himself calm, even cold, might suddenly fall passionately in love with "the wrong" woman, breaking up a family and making irrevocable mistakes ❤️🔥.
Someone who was meticulous and protective can become biased and unfair... A gentle and understanding person might transform into someone aggressive and cruel 😡. One way or another, suppressed feelings always come back unexpectedly, and we lose the understanding of who we truly are. Under this fierce onslaught, our self-esteem diminishes or even shatters 💔.
What actually happens:
We can't stop ourselves from feeling, nor can we arbitrarily choose what will move us or leave us indifferent 😐. We can either acknowledge our feelings or deceive ourselves by denying the obvious. We can't fall in love on command, nor can we fall out of love just by deciding to 💔.
We can't be convinced to find something tasty, sexy, or beautiful unless we genuinely feel it that way 🍰💋🌹. Feelings can't be conquered with willpower; they can only be overshadowed by other, stronger emotions that come from the core of our being 🌌. A sudden infatuation might fade compared to deep feelings for family, but sometimes it's the opposite. This forces us to delve deep: Who are we? What do we want? What can't we live without? 🤔
Profound emotions meet situational impressions and then face our conscience 🕊️. Conscience is a unique deep intuition for what's right, remarkably adept at understanding our feelings 🌈. Alas, willpower often tries to govern even our conscience, though it's in vain... 🌀🚫.
#Psychology
@Motivation
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About ANGER😡, ENVY😠, and HATRED😤
Once, an old master of martial arts decided never to fight again. But one day, a young and self-assured warrior challenged him, believing he was much more skilled and stronger. However, the old master simply sat there, refusing to engage.
The young warrior attempted to provoke the master by insulting him and his ancestors, but still, the master did not react. Frustrated, the young warrior left. 🚶♂️
The master's students were puzzled by their teacher's actions, and many of them criticized him, saying, "Don't you care about your honor and the honor of your ancestors?" The old master replied:
"When someone gives you a gift, and you don't accept it, to whom does the gift belong?"
"Of course, it belongs to the one who offered it."
"The same goes for envy, anger, and hatred. If we do not accept them, they remain with the giver." 🎁❤️
#Psychology
@Motivation
"Live in a way where positive emotions are maximized, and negative emotions are minimized" - The Myth about Emotions, Part 1 🦄
Arguments in favor:
The advantages are clear: It's better to feel joy 😃 than to suffer 😔, vacations 🌴 are preferred over overtime work ⏰, and a charming girl 👩 is preferable to a nagging boss 👩💼. This notion powers the tourism 🏖️ and film industry 🎬, showbiz 🎤, and even companies selling tobacco 🚬, alcohol 🍷, antidepressants 💊, and neuroleptics.
However, those constantly seeking pleasure often find themselves trapped in dependencies, be it smoking 🚬, online gambling 🎰, or alcohol 🍻. While avoiding suffering, they increasingly experience fear 😰 and anxiety 😥 towards relational difficulties and more often feel boredom. Pleasures become mundane, necessitating a constant increase in their intensity and dose.
The deepest despair is often felt by parents of teenagers who have shielded their children from the slightest hint of suffering or discomfort.
This occurs when a child is deprived of experiencing sorrow. Without the experience of sadness, regret, or shedding tears due to injustice or empathy, one misses out on profound self-understanding and closeness.
The reality:
Suffering is an innate part of life. The deeper we can suffer, the greater depths of joy are revealed to us. If we aren't afraid of suffering, we aren't afraid to love ❤️. It's especially crucial for a developing individual to experience a manageable share of sorrows and grief.
For children and teenagers, this is the environment where their inner world forms — a protected realm 🛡️ hidden from outside eyes, a personal, subjective space where one can be at peace without the distractions of TV 📺 or a phone 📱. Only through sadness do we find the most profound connection with our lives: can I still love life after a loss or betrayal?
The ability to feel joy and pleasure is passed down to children from birth, but they need to be taught how to suffer. This is achieved without displaying one's own fear of experiencing grief but rather maintaining one's dignity🌟
#Psychology
@Motivation
A parable about how the world depends on one's worldview... 😊
Once, a man was sitting by an oasis at the entrance to a city in the Middle East. A young man approached him and asked, "I've never been here before. What kind of people live in this city?" The old man replied with a question, "What kind of people were in the city you came from?" The young man responded, "They were selfish and wicked people. In fact, that's why I happily left there." The old man said, "You will find the same kind of people here," and walked away. 😔
A while later, another person came to the same spot and asked the same question, "I've just arrived. Tell me, old man, what kind of people live in this city?" The old man replied with the same question, "Tell me, my son, how did the people behave in the city you came from?" The newcomer replied, "Oh, they were kind, hospitable, and noble souls. I have many friends there, and it was hard to part with them." The old man said, "You will find the same kind of people here," and went on his way. 😃
A merchant who was nearby, tending to his camels, overheard both conversations. He approached the old man with reproach and said, "How can you give two completely different answers to the same question for two different people?"
"My son," the old man replied, "everyone carries their world in their heart. Those who found nothing good in the places they came from will find nothing good here either. On the other hand, those who had friends in another city will also find faithful and devoted friends here. You see, the people around us become what we perceive in them." ❤️🌍
#Psychology
@Motivation
Check your couple. Relationship Strength Test 💌💪
QUESTIONS
1️⃣Can I say that most of the time my partner irritates me?
Constant irritation can eventually lead to resentment and contempt. It's essential to address this early on. 🤨🚫
2️⃣Does it often happen that they treat me differently than I expected?
Everyone has expectations and preferences. An inability to be flexible or compromise, considering your partner's interests, can be fatal for the relationship. Determine which expectations are non-negotiable. 🤔🔄
3️⃣Do I envy the relationships of those around me?
If so, you should reflect on your own relationship. Does it give you something valuable and essential? Or is there really nothing worth maintaining? 😒💭
4️⃣Do I ever fear expressing what I truly think to my partner?
If you're scared to share your thoughts, it's crucial to learn how to overcome this fear. Is it due to your partner's reactions or something else? 🤫❓
5️⃣Do I feel a lack of mutual trust preventing real intimacy?
If your partner has deceived you in this or past relationships, figure out if the current lack of trust has legitimate causes. 🚷💔
6️⃣Do we constantly try to change each other?
If so, you can't expect openness and honesty in the relationship. It only takes one partner's effort to stop this. 🔄✋
7️⃣Are we inclined to bury problems deeper until one of us explodes?
Constantly postponing problem-solving will lead to an eventual blow-up. Address the issues before it comes to that. 💥⏰
8️⃣Do we often run away from problems, either emotionally or literally?
Avoiding problems can strain a relationship, especially if one partner wants to discuss them. Compromise is always possible. 🏃💨
9️⃣Do we look for excuses to avoid each other's company?
This indicates mutual distrust. Both of you should figure out what you want from the relationship. 🚫👥
1️⃣0️⃣Have friends ever asked why I still live with this person?
Friends usually want the best for us, and their opinions matter. But in the end, only you can decide if the person is right for you. 🤷♂️👫
RESULTS
6 or more "yes"
Your relationship is in a high-risk zone. You don't need to end it immediately, but both of you should address and solve these issues. Perhaps reconsider what you want from life at this stage and if the relationship provides it. 🚨❗
2-5 "yes"
Your relationship isn't in the "high-risk zone," but it deserves more attention. Enhance your communication skills; it can revitalize the relationship. 👥💬
#Psychology
@Motivation
🌟 Light Within 🕊️
Buddha was nearing his end. Forty years he had walked, and thousands followed him. Now, he was departing. He said, "This is my last day. If you have any questions, ask. The time has come for each to go on their own path."
A deep darkness enveloped Buddha's disciples. Ananda, his beloved disciple, wept like a child, tears streaming down his face. He beat his chest, almost distraught. "What are you doing, Ananda?" Buddha asked. "What do we do now?" Ananda replied. "You were here, we walked in your light. Everything was safe and good. We completely forgot that there is darkness. Following you, it was all light. Now you're leaving. What should we do?" And he began to cry and lament again.
"Listen," Buddha replied. "For forty years you have walked in my light and couldn't find your own. Do you think that if I lived another forty years, you would find your own light? The longer you walk in borrowed light, the more you imitate, the more you lose. It's better for me to depart."
The last words that fell from Buddha's lips were, "Be a light unto yourself." 🌠
#Psychology
@Motivation
No more bad moods: 5 ways to boost your mood right now 🌈
1️⃣Dedicate time to sports 🏋️♂️
Choose what suits you best: swimming 🏊, gym workouts 🏋️, yoga 🧘, home exercises 🏡, or outdoor runs 🏃.
2️⃣Stay connected with loved ones 📞
One of the best mood boosters is interacting with others. Share the latest news, listen to your friend, or just have a good laugh together 😄.
3️⃣Revamp your interiors 🖼️
Spend a weekend doing a minor reshuffling or decorating for upcoming holidays. If you've been thinking about a renovation, perhaps it's time to get started 🔨.
4️⃣Switch to a healthy diet 🥗
A proper diet will enhance your body's natural defenses.
5️⃣Go for a walk 🌳
On sunny days, take a stroll in the nearest park or head out of town 🌄
#Psychology
@Motivation
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Two squirrels are sitting under the warm September sun, and one asks the other: "So, brother, what's the meaning of life?" 🐿️🌞
The second one thinks for a moment and replies: "Remember last year, brother? It was a drought, the forest was on fire, there was nothing to eat, and the foxes were hungry. We were hungry too. All through the fall and winter, we were just scrambling to survive. We didn't look for any meaning back then. So, was there a meaning to life then?" 🌾🔥🍂
"Now, look at us," he continues, "We are safe, the foxes aren't bothering us, humans don't disturb us, and we've gathered enough food to last the entire winter. Life is going well. But we are searching for its meaning. Does that mean we've lost it?" 🌰🍁🤔
#Psychology
@Motivation