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[Alper] Jordan Morgan: I'm gonna prove everyone who thinks I can't play LT wrong
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/jordan-morgan-im-gonna-prove-everyone-who-thinks-i-cant-play-lt-wrong

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What is the biggest dodged bullet in NFL history?

I'd say it would be how Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch still have a job after trading 3 first-round picks to draft Trey Lance, who has only started 4 NFL games so far but did end up lucking into Brock Purdy. But what do you think?

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Who is the fastest player on your team?

Now that the draft is over, who is currently the fastest player on your team’s roster?

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[Smith] Patriots Javon Baker thinks NFL teams were out of their minds drafting 17 receivers ahead of him
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/javon-baker-thinks-nfl-teams-were-out-of-their-minds-drafting-17-receivers-ahead-of-him

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[Highlight] Browns QB Brandon Weeden gets trapped under the American flag prior to first career game (Sept. 9, 2012)

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[Awful Announcing] Fewer ‘Monday Night Football’ games will be simulcast on ABC
https://awfulannouncing.com/espn/monday-night-football-abc-fewer-games-simulcast.html

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[Alper] Rams GM Les Snead: We might circle back on Aaron Donald for playoffs, but I doubt he'd do it
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/les-snead-we-might-circle-back-on-aaron-donald-for-playoffs-but-i-doubt-hed-do-it

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yards per return on five attempts.

I feel like Brian Mitchell probably deserves a shoutout here, or something, maybe? He had 18 career pass attempts, a bunch of random assorted rushes and receptions, but more than anything he, like Josh Cribbs or Brad Smith or Joe Webb after him, was a college quarterback, a square peg in a round hole. An incredible athlete with great skill who never found a home anywhere but as a returner.

# TIGHT END

St. Louis Cardinals Hall of Famer Jackie Smith was the backup for basically every position on the offense and special teams. He was one of the best receiving tight ends in the NFL (his 1967 season is still one of the best era-adjusted tight end seasons ever), he was a phenomenal blocker, he compiled over 320 career rushing yards, he had three career pass attempts, he had 127 career punts, and was used as an emergency kick returner with a respectable career average of 20.6 yards per attempt. Low key, one of the most versatile players in NFL history.

Probably the most famous tight end to moonlight as a kick returner was Hall of Famer John Mackey, who was used sparingly in very strategic moments but averaged a (in that era, and frankly in any era) pretty remarkable 30.1 yards per return in his career.

Hall of Famer Ozzie Newsome had two punt returns in his career, averaging 14.5 yards per return.

Delanie Walker is the University of Central Missouri's all-time kick return touchdown leader, and he got a shot as a young pup with the 49ers. He wasn't particularly great at this, in 2008 where he got a serious share of the returns and he averaged under 20 yards per return on 13 attempts. But honestly, not too bad.

Niles Paul was a somewhat promising young tight end before injuries stole his career away, the hybrid receiver-tight end had 41 career returns for an average of 19.9 yards per return.

Don Bass had a solid career as a tight end for the Bengals, with over 1580 career receiving yards in a three-year span. He got seven returns in 1978, for an average of 19.7 yards per attempt.

Journeyman tight end from the 70s Jim Thaxton got a shot to return kicks in 1976, doing a solid job and averaging 24.1 yards per return.

Roland Moss had a short three year NFL career across four different teams from 1969-1971, but in 1970 the Bills and Chargers tried to get the big athlete on the field on special teams, letting him take 7 kick returns for an 18.7 yard average.

Nate Turner was a weird fullback, tight end, wide receiver, running back returner guy who got a bit of a shot with the Bills in 1993, averaged 17 yards per attempts at a whopping 255 pounds.

Gotta mention Brian Kozlowski, a career special teamer who racked up 29 career kick returns despite never actually being used as a dedicated returner.

# LINEBACKER

Good news for Micah Parsons, the Cowboys have a history of letting their uber-athlete linebackers return kicks. Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson was a notorious pretty boy and total physical marvel who could run like a receiver, he had four returns in 1975 including a goddamn 97-YARD TOUCHDOWN RETURN. Badass!

Steelers Hall of Famer Andy Russell was a phenomenal all-around athlete, 7x Pro Bowler, made an extra point attempt in 1966, and got a chance in 1967 to return some kicks, collecting 97 yards on 6 returns.

John Henry Mills was a strange little chimera of a player, he was officially listed as a linebacker but basically never played there, and only had a few offensive snaps to his name. He was more or less a career kick coverage guy, making a Pro Bowl as a special teamer in 1996 with the Oilers. in 1993 and 1994 he combined for 26 returns for an average of 19.7 yards.

Avon Riley was a starting linebacker for the Oilers in the mid-80's, he got some opportunities as an emergency returner, averaging 24.2 yards across five attempts.

Jonas Lewis, honestly hard to get a lot of information about him. Listed as a linebacker at 5'9, 210 pounds but collected a total of 17 career tackles for the 49ers from 2000-2001. Mostly used

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[Highlight] Steelers run a fake punt against the Saints.

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Dolphins owner Stephen Ross turned down $10 billion offer for control of team, stadium and F1 race, per report
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/dolphins-owner-stephen-ross-turns-down-10-billion-offer-for-control-of-team-stadium-and-f1-race-per-report/

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[Athletic] NFL execs dish on Falcons draft: ‘No adult supervision’
https://theathletic.com/5465526/2024/05/02/michael-penix-kirk-cousins-atlanta-falcons-2/

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Who's a well-known player on your team that's unceremoniously faded out of the league without a retirement announcement in the last year or two?

Examples include: Jarvis Landry, Leveon Bell. Also - feel free to mention players that this is about to happen to this offseason, which is something i thought was a bit too clunky to put in the title

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[Stroud] Bucs decline to pick up Joe Tryon-Shoyinka’s 5th-year option
https://www.tampabay.com/sports/bucs/2024/05/01/joe-tryon-shoyinka-5th-year-option-chris-braswell-randy-gregory/

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[Smith] Illinois governor's office meets with Bears, calls their stadium proposal "a non-starter"
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/illinois-governors-office-meets-with-bears-calls-their-stadium-proposal-a-non-starter

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[Bergman] Travis Kelce 'extremely grateful' Chiefs agreed to new deal: 'I'm not a guy that holds out'
https://www.nfl.com/news/travis-kelce-extremely-grateful-chiefs-agreed-to-new-deal-i-m-not-a-guy-that-holds-out?campaign=Twitter_atn

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Jameis Winston is here with his wife and family for his first Derby. He told The Athletic: 'I don’t know who I’m picking to win yet but I know we gonna be eating W’s. My family’s been in Kentucky for over a century and we’re wearing purple for royalty.”
https://theathletic.com/live-blogs/kentucky-derby-2024-live-updates-results-highlights/J3nxaPhrAxOR/00pGNNYD5qgR/

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What’s the best TD celebration ever

For my money it’s Warren Sapp on his first career TD reception. Unique circumstances, huge booty, memorable. What’s yours?

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How Irish kicker Jude McAtamney went from Gaelic football to New York Giants
https://www.espn.com.au/nfl/story/_/id/40078090/nfl-how-irish-kicker-jude-mcatamney-went-gaelic-football-new-york-giants-via-australia-rutgers-university

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You can change the result of any 1 game in NFL history that doesn't involve your team. Which one do you change?

For me it would probably have to be Super Bowl 43. Give the long-suffering Cardinals a title and let guys like Larry Fitzgerald get that ring that they would want so badly.

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NFL Network opts not to renew Michael Irvin's contract ahead of 2024 season
https://www.on3.com/pro/news/nfl-network-opts-not-to-renew-michael-irvin-contract-ahead-of-2024-season/

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[Highlight] A TLDR on why Marvin Harrison Jr. hasn't sighed his NFLPA licensing agreement yet. (Fanatics is the reason)

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as a kick returner, with 11 career returns for 18.9 yards per return.

Obligatory Bobby Bell reference, Hall of Famer for the Chiefs. Former college quarterback, and ran back an onside for a 53-yard touchdown in the Chiefs' first Super Bowl season in 1969.

# FULLBACK

Gonna try not to include too many of the old school guys, but I'm gonna cheat real quick...

Cullen Bryant is the obvious answer here as he was somewhere between the role of being the driver of offense that the position was in the 60s and the sixth offensive linemen it would become in the 90s. He had 69 kick returns for 1813 yards and three touchdowns and 71 punt returns for 707 yards, as the 234-pounder was a primary kick returner for six years as well as being the Rams' starting fullback.

Michael Robinson, another college quarterback convert, is probably best known for developing into a really formidable lead blocker for Marshawn Lynch but actually began his career as a running back and kick returner for the 49ers, 31 career returns for 21.8 yards per return.

Rock Cartwright had a fascinating little career for the Redskins, mostly used as a reserve fullback but also got some time as a running back and mostly was used as a returner. And he was damn good at it, too! 231 career returns for an average of 23.6 yards per return in an era where that was really, really solid.

One of the most prolific weapons of the modern era from the fullback position, Larry Centers, was used as a returner from time to time. As a kick returner, he had 33 career returns for an average of 18.7 yards per return and as a punt returner he had five returns for an average of 6.0 yards per return.

The Great White Hope himself, Peyton Hillis, was in a weird spot with the Broncos early in his career. Before he became the Madden cover athlete sensation that he was with the Browns, he was a fullback and emergency running back who also was used as a kick returner, with 10 returns over a two years span for an average of 19.9 yards per return.

Harold Morrow was a fullback for the Vikings in the late 90's, had 19 total kick returns for an average of 19.1 yards per return.

# That's all, folks!

This was fun! Learned a lot of stuff I never would have otherwise. Here's to Fields, Parsons, and a bunch of other bizarre return prospects getting some opportunities in this strange new return meta of the NFL.

It's the dead period now, so I'll probably post some more dumbass shit in the coming months.

Until then, so long.

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OC With Micah Parsons and Justin Fields supposedly being considered for kick return opportunities, let’s take a look at the history of NON-SKILL PLAYER, NON-DB RETURNERS in the NFL

With these funky new kickoff rules, word is that Micah Parsons is trying to convince the Cowboys to let him get a few returns in and that the Steelers have considered putting Justin Fields back deep as well. Parsons was an awesome skill position player in high school, as were a lot of guys who play non-skill positions now, and Fields is at the point where he needs to prove his value, and that got me thinking about what the history of guys that the NFL tried to use as a returner in that vein. And because I know nobody wants to read about a bunch of old farts from the Antediluvian age who played "quarterback" back when quarterbacks actually played offensive line or whatever the fuck happened back then, I'm narrowing my field to only include the Super Bowl era.

We will be talking about players who intentionally were used as return men and who were listed at positions besides running back, wide receiver, cornerback or safety (though this can be hard to tell without access to all of the game footage, so I'm having to confirm these with secondhand accounts I can find online). So that means no Devin Hester, no Cordarrelle Patterson, no Patrick Peterson and, unfortunately, no Dan Connelly. If I break these rules to talk about something cool when I’m further along writing this, I apologize. Not.

# QUARTERBACK

Starting things off strong, I want to immediately cheat the prompt by talking about Brad Smith who was listed as a quarterback but also was listed as a wide receiver but more than anything else was a freak gadgety wildcat-running type of guy (you'll notice that's a pretty common theme in this category). Brad was one of college football history's most productive rushing QBs while he was at Missouri, and he carved out a solid little niche for himself as a decently effective oddity and as a kick returner, averaging a seriously, actually good 25.7 yards per return on 112 career kick returns as well as three career return TDs.

Joe Webb was in a similar vein, a college QB at UCF who had an NFL career as a wildcat-doer-guy-thing/kind of a wide receiver/actual NFL quarterback who sucked balls in a playoff game. Webb had a solid returning career, fielding 18 career returns for an average of 22.3 yards per return.

Everyone's favorite kind of infuriatingly overpaid but also admittedly very efficient swiss army knife Taysom Hill has had his fair share of kick return opportunities. Among being a quarterback, running back, tight end, fullback, wide receiver and core special teamer, he has 19 career returns for a 23.5 career return average.

Vince Evans, who started multiple seasons of Walter Payton's prime as the Bears' quarterback and went negative in TD/INT ratio in both seasons, got a few shots as a kick returner. In 1977, the season most well-known for being Walter Payton's best year as a pro, Evans fielded 8 kicks for an average of 19.5 yards per return.

In terms of punt returners, football's most notorious leg-breaker Joe Theismann actually began his career as a punt returner, and weirdly enough, that is not a joke. Seems weird to me, to be honest. But he wasn't bad at it at all, averaging 10.5 yards per return on 15 returns as a rookie in 1974.

Former Appalachian State superstar and future CFL decent second receiving option Armanti Edwards got a decent shot at the Panthers' punt return job, fielding 40 punts for an average of 7 yards per return. In the NFL, he really did nothing more than run a few wildcat plays and mostly not be very good at doing so.

XFL legend BJ Daniels also got a few shots with the Texans and Seahawks in his one season as an active roster member, averaging just five

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Chiefs decline '25 option for WR Toney
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/40069780/source-chiefs-decline-fifth-year-option-kadarius-toney

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[Highlight] 40mph winds causes Bears K Robbie Gould to miss 39-yard field goal attempt (Nov. 13, 2005)

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[Awful Announcing] Betting odds suggest Shedeur Sanders is hurting draft stock with social media behavior
https://awfulannouncing.com/nfl/shedeur-sanders-hurting-draft-stock-social-media-behavior.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

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Jaylen Warren Suggests That Special Teams Coordinator Danny Smith Wants To See Justin Fields Returning Kicks
https://steelersdepot.com/2024/05/jaylen-warren-suggests-that-special-teams-coordinator-danny-smith-wants-to-see-justin-fields-returning-kicks/

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Nate Tice is leaving The Athletic Football Show

Per the latest episode, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/questions-we-still-have-following-the-2024-nfl-draft/id1528622068?i=1000654259222 he doesn't say why, but both he and Robert Mays say it's a great thing and we will find out soon where he is going.

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[Williams] As expected, Cowboys decline fifth-year option on Trey Lance's contract
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/as-expected-cowboys-decline-fifth-year-option-on-trey-lances-contract

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[Highlight] Haloti Ngata raised his kids to be proper Ravens fans

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