The most dog whistles you’ll ever see in 34 seconds:
https://redd.it/1k8kk7r
@r_ContraPoints
Mother? Doctor? Doctor mother?
https://redd.it/1k7flex
@r_ContraPoints
The point when society's decline started. We need to retvrn
https://redd.it/1k75juq
@r_ContraPoints
Natalie is about to go live on Patreon
https://redd.it/1k71rhe
@r_ContraPoints
Looking for a book mentioned by Natalie
Hello here,
I've been desperately trying to find a book mention by Natalie in one of her videos but I somehow cannot find the video in question. I've already rewatch all the obvious suspects and even though it is always pleasure to watch any of the Natalies essays unfortunately I dont have time to rewatch more at this point. So that is why I am hoping someone can help me here.
The book in question was some older vintage book printed in the 90s, nowadays super rare and expensive. It is about BDSM lesbian culture in some large American city like New York? Honestly the details are super hazy. Hopefully someone here has fresher memory than I do.
https://redd.it/1k6qi0f
@r_ContraPoints
Contrapoints summer reading list ideas?
Hi! I finally have some time to read this summer and I'm really hoping to be able to talk about authors in conversation instead of just citing Contrapoints citing them (though I will obviously continue to do that)! Does anyone have suggestions of books to read that she mentioned in her videos or tangents that would be a good starting place? Or any books you love that have shaped your thinking on something? This is kind of a vague prompt, I know, so will try to specify:
Preferably not dense theory.
I LOVED Twilight, Envy, and Cringe, and
also Granola Fascism and Liminal Spaces.
Recently read Doppelganger by Naomi Klein and that was right up my alley.
Thank you so much in advance!!!!
https://redd.it/1k6k5km
@r_ContraPoints
Peter Thiel and NeoCons - any books, or other sources comprehensively analyzing the whole ideological and organizational structure?
Not sure if it fits the sub, but I though maybe folks around here would know. Or maybe there has been a Contrapoints tangent on patreon with some sources?
https://redd.it/1k574i8
@r_ContraPoints
Gay Tangent Everybody!
I've been watching The Hunger on a loop lately, and honestly? It's been hitting way too close to home. I’m a gay cis guy (24M), and once upon a time, I was a born-again Christian. Like, capital-J Jesus, hands-in-the-air worship music, “washed in the blood” kind of Christian.
Watching Virginia Lamm talk about finding Christ and feeling "white as snow" made something deep in me go oh. Because I remember that feeling — that scary, intoxicating, clean-slate moment when I first "let Jesus into my heart." (For clarity: I’m an atheist now. My religious views are... complicated. Like, Natalie-Wynn’s-comment-section complicated.)
But I can’t lie: I get Virginia. I related to her a little too hard. That hunger she talks about — the broken, empty feeling you try to fill with holiness? Been there. Took the whole "freedom in Christ" thing very seriously... even tried to make myself straight for two years (shoutout to my extremely patient ex-girlfriend. Wherever you are, I hope you're dating a man who’s not having a sexuality crisis.)
Watching Virginia doesn’t make me want to go back, but it does make me miss that version of me who had something to hope for. That naïve part of me that believed, really believed, that no matter the pain, there was a loving God on the other side of it.
Anyway. Virginia Lamm, you unhinged angel, I see you.
https://redd.it/1k4rvsk
@r_ContraPoints
Just asking questions…
https://redd.it/1k4jf2q
@r_ContraPoints
to be Time travellers so we can release our relationship from the constraints imposed by outworn narratives used to justify adult-child hierarchies. Thanks for playing along with us and have a Happy Easter (may all your sins be attoned for).
TLDR: This world in itself is not reasonable, that is all that can be said. But what is absurd is the confrontation of this irrational and the wild longing for clarity whose call echoes in the human heart.
[DISCLAIMER: chatgpt was used to generate this post]
https://redd.it/1k3tnu6
@r_ContraPoints
travellers are either frauds or insane (and either way need to be locked up *for their own good* (for the safety of all)). The end of the witch trails don't mark an era of tolerance and acceptance, they mark an era of epistemic control--as if to say *don't even think about it*.
Anti-Time travel laws are so totalizing that even my daughter's Furbee must feature a legal disclaimer: *Furbee tell my future feature is for entertainment purposes only.*
The most useful thing I learned having been raised as a conspiricist is that reality is crowd sourced. No one can call you legally insane for expressing a commonly delusion. For this reason, I have spent the past year converting travellers to the cause. This was very easy since most people are already familiar with Time travel and love to talk about their subjective experience of consciousness moving through time. I have actually made many new friends this way as people seem oddly drawn to me now--after all who hasn't experienced a glitch in the matrix that made them briefly doubt so-called reality? (let he who is without sin cast the first stone.)
With a network in place to vouch for my sanity, I began crafting an anti-conspiracy theory, which I envisioned as a creepypasta that slowly starts to bleed through the raw edges of reality that "they" don't want us to know about. Due to the limits on free speach imposed by anti-Time travel laws, it was necessary for me to structure the narrative as a product review by writing this email to my grocery delivery service:
>*Date: July 13 2024*
>*Subject: FW: No air in schools?!? Re: School heat levels*
>
>To Whom it May Concern,
>
> understand that you currently have an influx of customers thanks to the Loblaws boycott, and perhaps are already operating at maximum capacity, as my delivery has been delayed two weeks in a row now. Rest assured, I am in no way irritated, and, in fact, delighted to be reaching out to extend the opportunity to help sustain your growth long term through an advertising opportunity in the form of an invitation to collaborate with me in an ongoing art project entitled: The Lack of Air.
>
>What does The Lack of Air have to do with a grocery delivery service? you wonder out loud. Quite surprisingly, quite a lot, I reply. In fact, the central point of this work revolves around and around and around those odd, misshapen things—those green things—and the ultimate Question of what can be done with them when they refuse to fit inside that box we gave them to sit quietly in. Odd Blemished things spilling out all over the place. Boiling out. Bubbling out into the wilderness. Beaded bubbles winking at the brim.
>
>*But what exactly is this project?* You think impatiently. Is it a book? Instagram real? What is this? Emails? You scroll through the attached correspondences, understanding less and less as you creep deeper down. Deeper Down.
>
>I will explain here for the clarity of everyone reading: this project is just my uncompromisingly honest experience of enjoying Shamelessly Odd produce as I blend them into a soup for my family. Nothing more; nothing less.
>
>If you require more clarification, respond with the words, “Please send Attachment.” You will then receive further instructions as we creep toward the Autumn Equinox and the delicate second act of this review begins to unfurl. By the time you finish reading this, everything will be in motion and it will be too late to text STOP to end. Expect to hear from me again when the Persiod meteor shower peaks, and please speak of this to no one until then.
>
>(P.s. do advise your delivery persons not to wander off the path when they visit my home as we are experiencing an infestation of Poison Ivy. The enormous vine creeping up the wall of the house with the Green Door is what you should look out for, specifically. Stay far away from the Tiger Lillies.)
>
>((P.p.s. if in any way you fear for the safety of your delivery persons, or any other characters appearing in this text, please rest assured that I am not real and I cannot hurt you.))
>
>(((P.P.P.S. Do look up and
I can think of only one solution...
For legal reasons which will become clear by the time you reach the end of my story, this correspondance constitutes a work of fiction. None of this is real.
I am going to try saying some reckless words. I want you to listen to them recklessly.
As it happens, I was homeschooled by conspiricists, so if I come across as uneducated it is only because I am uneducated. Needless to say, I arrived into "adulthood" with a deeply disordered personality that I have done my very best to bring cohesion to. Please try to remember this as you feel tempted to project your judgements onto me (I'm damned if you don't; damned if you do).
Growing up entangled in conspiricist logic gives me an intimacy with the subject that I didn't quite have the context to understand until I watched Conspiracy. So much of the dualistic scapegoating common to conspiricism was also happening inter-personally in my home and I had no way of understanding why even though I loved my family--being around them felt so *bad*.
I often disassociated from household drama by escaping into a labyrinth of internal fantasy worlds or by "turning the world into T.V. static." Unfortunately, I had internalized my parent's perspective so I percieved this altered state of consciousness to be, not a neuroprotective strategy to cope with overwhelming situations, but a demonic power that I was damning myself by tapping into (and I should STOP before things get out of hand). Child psychologist Alice Miller, in *For Your Own Good*, traces Adolf Hitler’s paranoia and conspiratorial worldview back to his early childhood--where abuse framed as loving discipline forced him to internalize the logic of the abuser. I percieved my subjective experience of reality to be not just unreliable, but *bad*. This, I think, has been more painful to me than anything else: to experience myself as lacking in coherence and consistency, precariously separated from my body, others, and the world.
In Conspiracy, Natalie likens conspiricism to an unholy union between the rational and so-called "pre-rational mind." My experience might reveal the opposite--whilst embodying the narrative of conspiricism, I was so disassociated from my felt sense of reality that I often went along with harmful rationalizations because I couldn't make sense of my gut intuitions: not unlike a nazi soldier following orders that made his stomach twist. The most effective way of deprograming myself has actually been to lean away from hyper-rationalism by embracing phenomenological perspectives that prioritize the fluid interplay of subjective experiences over narratives that claim objectivity.
As it happens, Jordan Peterson recently recycled a racist New Atheism narrative on Andrew Huberman's podcast: claiming that animism is "how a two-year-old understands reality" before their mind completes it's evolution toward rational materialism; implying that phenomenalist perspectives are relics from a more primative Time--silly nonsense for little babies.
But Peterson’s own hyper-rationalism has brought him closer to paranoia than understanding. He embodies a nightmare realm where a plus-sized woman on the cover of Sports Illustrated morphs into the spectre of post-modern Marxism. By Peterson's own admission, he lays awake at night unable to sleep for all the terror pumping through his veins (Hitler slept with the lights on too).
Only when we wake do we know we were dreaming.
Sorry if this seems convoluted, but I wanted to put these feelings into words, because they are what saved me from following my family down the rabbit hole during the pandemic. I'm haunted by the fact that I couldn't pull them out. When they started sharing videos about the "New World Order" and the great reset, I tried to explain that these were just re-contextualized nazi conspiracies, but at the Time I was still very raw about having been lied to my entire life, so my tone was less than helpful and I only ended up damaging our relationships. I didn't yet understand that there is no reasoning with conspiricism because
conspiricism is Enlightenment reason taken past it's breaking point until even the unthinkable can be rationalized.
In one of my most desperate attempts to pull my family out of the hole, I contacted my sister as a fake publisher asking her to review a book of my own original "Conspiracy theories" that re-contextualized familiar conspiracist tropes to lead her toward a more functional world view (as previously mentioned, mind games are common in my family so this seemed a completely reasonable deception to me at the Time). Though the book is frequently five star reviewed on Amazon, it didn't do me any good. I finally understood that the only thing I could do was let go and watch the people I loved slide down... down... down... until they ended up in Ottawa unwitingly supporting sedition against our government, quoting Hitler, normalizing political assassinations, buying guns, and preparing for the end times all in the name of "freedom".
As the soviet union crumbled under the weight of reality, the term Hypernormalization was coined to describe a surreal state in which everyone participating in the system knows that it is broken, fake, or corrupt—but because no one can imagine an alternative, they continue to participate in the story as if it's real until the narrative feels more real than reality itself. The fake narratives are maintained not because they work, but because they are the only ones left. Phenomenologically based psychiatrist R.D. Laing believed that delusions are a desperate attempt to make rational sense of systems fraught with double binds. He went so far as to say that the schizophrenic patient represents a cry for help on behalf of a family system which runs on narratives so removed from reality that sense can no longer be made.
As previously mentioned, I have very little formal education--all I know is through my own intuition--but I've seen enough of the Facebook generated genocides in Mayanmar and Ethiopia to know what kind of danger we are in right now. Processing this sad reality has been the most difficult and important thing I have ever done. Once I accepted that the future I'd hoped for will never arrive, new possibilities emerged from that grief. This is when all the Time travel stuff started happening to me.
I once thought Jung a flim-flam man, but it turns out he was right about many things, especially time travel. This would have been very useful information for me to know when I suddenly started suffering, seemingly, from some extraordinary fault in my relation to reality, something so uniquely wrong that it compelled me to perceive, at rare intervals, large blocks of otherwise perfectly normal personal experience displaced from their proper positions in Time.
This did not disturb me. Mother had already diagnosed me as "mentally unwell" in childhood (by which she meant to say: detached from reality: an unreliable narrator) so I had already been taught to mistrust my own subjective experience before--why would I go back down that rabbit hole? And besides, Time travel shouldn't shock anyone. As Eric Wargo notes in his book on precognition, Time travel is so common that it's tediously mundane. It's just memory working backwards--something everyone experiences from Time to Time. So I moved on with my life as normal and didn't think too much about the strange synchronicities, dreams and déjà vu.
But then I was minding my own business in my bathroom one day, dwelling on the state of the world, when I heard an uncanny intuition like scream from the collective unconscious... isn't the real conspiracy that the government is hiding Time travel from us?
After all, at the advent of the so-called Enlightenment, the Witchcraft Acts outlawed witch trials--not on the basis that the Craft should be legalized--but on the basis that the Craft isn't real. Before the acts, individuals claiming the ability to see through time and bend reality to their will were considered a danger to the state and established order. Now they are simply denounced as superstitious--delusional--irrational. Time
“State mandated GF’s”
https://2paragraphs.com/2025/04/republican-governor-candidate-proposes-female-undocumented-immigrants-can-stay-if-they-marry-incels/
https://redd.it/1k3trh2
@r_ContraPoints
Does anybody know the name of the song that's played in the conspiracy video at about 43 minutes in?
https://redd.it/1k8bc1i
@r_ContraPoints
Anyone know what happened to Theryn Meyer? She use to have her own channel and was so hilarious she deleted all the content and I'm just sad about it she was gold. Super gold.
Theryn and Natalie hanged out together and made videos together at some point.
https://redd.it/1k7ddic
@r_ContraPoints
Twilight is back (Canada)
Good news! I can access Twilight again (in Canada, at least)
https://redd.it/1k76si2
@r_ContraPoints
Request for AMA stream: help me solve a mystery 🙏
Hey y'all, I'm not sure if it's too late to request it, but I was hoping a $15+ Patron could ask Natalie a question on my behalf. Something that has haunted me for years (and I have asked about before on this very sub).
What is the name of the version of "Auld Lang Syne" that is playing during the credits of Canceling (and, very briefly, during the bath scene in JK Rowling)?
https://redd.it/1k71rbx
@r_ContraPoints
This is so Natalie Coded
https://redd.it/1k6tsym
@r_ContraPoints
Bibliography for the Twilight video
Because the Twilight video is gone, at least in my country, and it might've been my favourite youtube video of all time, I wonder if there's any post or info on bibliography/list of Natalie's references for it? Even though I cannot watch it, at least right now, I would love to at least check out the sources and study its subjects more thoroughly. Does any of you know if such a list exists??
https://redd.it/1k6npyi
@r_ContraPoints
Is Bosco on the new season of Drag Race All Stars giving Contra to anyone else?
https://redd.it/1k66cvv
@r_ContraPoints
End Times Fascism: Next Topic?
Just read through this Guardian article and I immediately wanted to hear Natalie's take.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2025/apr/13/end-times-fascism-far-right-trump-musk
Natalie has done a great job engaging with the far right and she even got her start analyzing deradicalizing fascists online. I'd love to see her analysis of "End Times Fascism", or Millenarianism in the age of Trump. I think there's enough meat there to get the full Contrapoints treatment.
https://redd.it/1k54rjb
@r_ContraPoints
If any mods of the unofficial contrapoints discord are here... I'm sorry
for joining earlier today and then immediately sending a link to a meme saying Joe Biden should be the next pope ☹️
It was not my intention to break any rules and if you give me another chance I promise to follow any and all server rules to the letter of the law <3
https://redd.it/1k4qd3f
@r_ContraPoints
Our favorite "Granola Fascism" philosopher appeared in The Economist . . .
Julius Evola made an appearance in The Economist Article "The American and Russian Right are Aligning". The whole thing is like a summary of Contra's early work.
https://economist.com/united-states/2025/03/20/the-american-and-russian-right-are-aligning
Thank you, Mother, for defiling yourself by reading him so you could give us the sparknotes :)
I feel like learning about Fascism from Contrapoints has better equipped me to understand the current moment in U.S. than an actual college education. And it's a yikes. A big yikes.
https://redd.it/1k3zhwx
@r_ContraPoints
enjoy the meteor shower.)))*
After I sent this, redditors on r/loblawsisoutofcontrol complained that they were unable to opt out of Loblaws texts despite responding: STOP. So I did manage to work in some amusing synchronicities that delicately peel away at so-called reality. Unfortunately, these *weird* coincidences didn't turn out to be very interesting or cohesive. Such is the nature of time travel: the subject's experience of consciousness moving through time is so personal that it will only ever really be profound to the subject. The only other mildly interesting anomoly I was able to manifest was in this email that I sent a year before Conspiracy (which was the inspiration for my own project).
>*Date: June 24 2024
Subject: A TRADWIFES GUIDE TO TIME MANAGEMENT (AN ANTIDOTE TO CHAOS)*
>
>Dear Miss Wynne, it is my greatest hope that I could use a comment from you to complete a planned publication which I have been working feverishly on for some Time now. The final work aims to draw out those creeping beings currently creating - or rather stealing - our consent. At the same Time, the text will illustrate for all who have eyes to see, the consequences that would befall a woman if - God forbid - she
manages to break free from the text and seize the context to use for her own pleasure. And sees that it is Good and pleasing to the eye.
>
>I know that you are a busy woman, but I felt I had no choice but to contact you. You see, it was your video essay entitled “Envy” that forever changed my life when you asked out loud: do I want mommy? Or do I want to *be* the Mommy? The more your question swelled within me, the more I realized that I wanted to be the Mommy. I want to be the Mommy. And I could not think of any way of articulating this revelation in my work except by writing this very letter and asking for permission to utilize your response in my final publication. Below is the query for the planned work.
>
>I do understand if you do not wish to be involved. If you have no desire to collaborate in any way, please respond with the statement, “Thank you for thinking of me, but this project is too disturbing for me to consider participating in.”
>
>Please understand that I may choose to print or otherwise reproduce any response you provide.
>
>My query is as follows:
>
>*To Whom it May Concern,
>
>Please be advised that your response could potentially be used in the editing phase of my queried project. Do not reply unless you consent to having your words reprinted with identifying information removed.
>
>A REASONABLE WOMAN is an existential horror that explores the tension of raising children in the world we have inherited. Fans of Bo Burnham's INSIDE will enjoy the poetic juxtapositions that slowly swell into that funny feeling which caresses up the
reader's spine, giving voice to the scream living silent in their bones as the specter of Mommy slowly emerges from the text to loom over them—gently holding them by the back of the head—submerging them in the ebb and flow of reality as it spirals down… down… down… until it's no longer clear who—or what—is Directing the Text as it grows flesh and begins to misbehave like a child asking for a spanking. Inspired by Yayoi Kusama's LET'S SURVIVE FOREVER and expressed within the negative space between words that nest within one another like layered memes, each level we
descend adds context which makes it impossible to experience The Words as we did before.
>
>By this I mean to say that this story is told through the medium of pointless
internet drama reminiscent of THE PORTLAND POLYCULE FROM HELL, which, like EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, articulates the disorienting experience of life in the digital age, where context seems always just out of reach… way down there… at the very bottom… The tale finally coalesces to a conclusion which consumers of THE REHEARSAL will find familiar as they're forced to ask: was anything real? Was anything not real?*
>
Anyway, thanks for reading my little creepypasta. It's part of a game my daughter and I entertain ourselves with by pretending
conspiricism *is* Enlightenment reason taken past it's breaking point until even the unthinkable can be rationalized.
In one of my most desperate attempts to pull my family out of the hole, I contacted my sister as a fake publisher asking her to review a book of my own original "Conspiracy theories" that re-contextualized familiar conspiracist tropes to lead her toward a more functional world view (as previously mentioned, mind games are common in my family so this seemed a completely reasonable deception to me at the Time). Though the book is frequently five star reviewed on Amazon, it didn't do me any good. I finally understood that the only thing I could do was let go and watch the people I loved slide down... down... down... until they ended up in Ottawa unwitingly supporting sedition against our government, quoting Hitler, normalizing political assassinations, buying guns, and preparing for the end times all in the name of "freedom".
As the soviet union crumbled under the weight of reality, the term Hypernormalization was coined to describe a surreal state in which everyone participating in the system knows that it is broken, fake, or corrupt—but because no one can imagine an alternative, they continue to participate in the story as if it's real until the narrative feels more real than reality itself. The fake narratives are maintained not because they work, but because they are *the only ones left.* Phenomenologically based psychiatrist R.D. Laing believed that delusions are a desperate attempt to make rational sense of systems fraught with double binds. He went so far as to say that the schizophrenic patient represents a cry for help on behalf of a family system which runs on narratives so removed from reality that sense can no longer be made.
As previously mentioned, I have very little formal education--all I know is through my own intuition--but I've seen enough of the Facebook generated genocides in Mayanmar and Ethiopia to know what kind of danger we are in right now. Processing this sad reality has been the most difficult and important thing I have ever done. Once I accepted that the future I'd hoped for will never arrive, new possibilities emerged from that grief. This is when all the Time travel stuff started happening to me.
I once thought Jung a flim-flam man, but it turns out he was right about many things, especially time travel. This would have been very useful information for me to know when I suddenly started suffering, seemingly, from some extraordinary fault in my relation to reality, something so uniquely wrong that it compelled me to perceive, at rare intervals, large blocks of otherwise perfectly normal personal experience displaced from their proper positions in Time.
This did not disturb me. Mother had already diagnosed me as "mentally unwell" in childhood (by which she meant to say: detached from reality: an unreliable narrator) so I had already been taught to mistrust my own subjective experience before--why would I go back down that rabbit hole? And besides, Time travel shouldn't shock anyone. As Eric Wargo notes in his book on precognition, Time travel is so common that it's tediously mundane. It's just memory working backwards--something everyone experiences from Time to Time. So I moved on with my life as normal and didn't think too much about the strange synchronicities, dreams and déjà vu.
But then I was minding my own business in my bathroom one day, dwelling on the state of the world, when I heard an uncanny intuition like scream from the collective unconscious... *isn't the *real* conspiracy that the government is hiding Time travel from us?*
After all, at the advent of the so-called Enlightenment, the Witchcraft Acts outlawed witch trials--not on the basis that the Craft should be legalized--but on the basis that the Craft isn't *real*. Before the acts, individuals claiming the ability to see through time and bend reality to their will were considered a danger to the state and established order. Now they are simply denounced as superstitious--delusional--*irrational*. Time
travellers are either frauds or insane (and either way need to be locked up for their own good (for the safety of all)). The end of the witch trails don't mark an era of tolerance and acceptance, they mark an era of epistemic control--as if to say don't even think about it.
Anti-Time travel laws are so totalizing that even my daughter's Furbee must feature a legal disclaimer: Furbee tell my future feature is for entertainment purposes only.
The most useful thing I learned having been raised as a conspiricist is that reality is crowd sourced. No one can call you legally insane for expressing a commonly delusion. For this reason, I have spent the past year converting travellers to the cause. This was very easy since most people are already familiar with Time travel and love to talk about their subjective experience of consciousness moving through time. I have actually made many new friends this way as people seem oddly drawn to me now--after all who hasn't experienced a glitch in the matrix that made them briefly doubt so-called reality? (let he who is without sin cast the first stone.)
With a network in place to vouch for my sanity, I began crafting an anti-conspiracy theory, which I envisioned as a creepypasta that slowly starts to bleed through the raw edges of reality that "they" don't want us to know about. Due to the limits on free speach imposed by anti-Time travel laws, it was necessary for me to structure the narrative as a product review by writing this email to my grocery delivery service:
>Date: July 13 2024
>Subject: FW: No air in schools?!? Re: School heat levels
>
>To Whom it May Concern,
>
> understand that you currently have an influx of customers thanks to the Loblaws boycott, and perhaps are already operating at maximum capacity, as my delivery has been delayed two weeks in a row now. Rest assured, I am in no way irritated, and, in fact, delighted to be reaching out to extend the opportunity to help sustain your growth long term through an advertising opportunity in the form of an invitation to collaborate with me in an ongoing art project entitled: The Lack of Air.
>
>What does The Lack of Air have to do with a grocery delivery service? you wonder out loud. Quite surprisingly, quite a lot, I reply. In fact, the central point of this work revolves around and around and around those odd, misshapen things—those green things—and the ultimate Question of what can be done with them when they refuse to fit inside that box we gave them to sit quietly in. Odd Blemished things spilling out all over the place. Boiling out. Bubbling out into the wilderness. Beaded bubbles winking at the brim.
>
>But what exactly is this project? You think impatiently. Is it a book? Instagram real? What is this? Emails? You scroll through the attached correspondences, understanding less and less as you creep deeper down. Deeper Down.
>
>I will explain here for the clarity of everyone reading: this project is just my uncompromisingly honest experience of enjoying Shamelessly Odd produce as I blend them into a soup for my family. Nothing more; nothing less.
>
>If you require more clarification, respond with the words, “Please send Attachment.” You will then receive further instructions as we creep toward the Autumn Equinox and the delicate second act of this review begins to unfurl. By the time you finish reading this, everything will be in motion and it will be too late to text STOP to end. Expect to hear from me again when the Persiod meteor shower peaks, and please speak of this to no one until then.
>
>(P.s. do advise your delivery persons not to wander off the path when they visit my home as we are experiencing an infestation of Poison Ivy. The enormous vine creeping up the wall of the house with the Green Door is what you should look out for, specifically. Stay far away from the Tiger Lillies.)
>
>((P.p.s. if in any way you fear for the safety of your delivery persons, or any other characters appearing in this text, please rest assured that I am not real and I cannot hurt you.))
>
>(((P.P.P.S. Do look up and
I can think of only one solution...
For legal reasons which will become clear by the time you reach the end of my story, this correspondance constitutes a work of fiction. None of this is real.
I am going to try saying some reckless words. I want you to listen to them recklessly.
As it happens, I was homeschooled by conspiricists, so if I come across as uneducated it is only because I am uneducated. Needless to say, I arrived into "adulthood" with a deeply disordered personality that I have done my very best to bring cohesion to. Please try to remember this as you feel tempted to project your judgements onto me (I'm damned if you don't; damned if you do).
Growing up entangled in conspiricist logic gives me an intimacy with the subject that I didn't quite have the context to understand until I watched Conspiracy. So much of the dualistic scapegoating common to conspiricism was also happening inter-personally in my home and I had no way of understanding why even though I loved my family--being around them felt so bad.
I often disassociated from household drama by escaping into a labyrinth of internal fantasy worlds or by "turning the world into T.V. static." Unfortunately, I had internalized my parent's perspective so I percieved this altered state of consciousness to be, not a neuroprotective strategy to cope with overwhelming situations, but a demonic power that I was damning myself by tapping into (and I should STOP before things get out of hand). Child psychologist Alice Miller, in For Your Own Good, traces Adolf Hitler’s paranoia and conspiratorial worldview back to his early childhood--where abuse framed as loving discipline forced him to internalize the logic of the abuser. I percieved my subjective experience of reality to be not just unreliable, but bad. This, I think, has been more painful to me than anything else: to experience myself as lacking in coherence and consistency, precariously separated from my body, others, and the world.
In Conspiracy, Natalie likens conspiricism to an unholy union between the rational and so-called "pre-rational mind." My experience might reveal the opposite--whilst embodying the narrative of conspiricism, I was so disassociated from my felt sense of reality that I often went along with harmful rationalizations because I couldn't make sense of my gut intuitions: not unlike a nazi soldier following orders that made his stomach twist. The most effective way of deprograming myself has actually been to lean away from hyper-rationalism by embracing phenomenological perspectives that prioritize the fluid interplay of subjective experiences over narratives that claim objectivity.
As it happens, Jordan Peterson recently recycled a racist New Atheism narrative on Andrew Huberman's podcast: claiming that animism is "how a two-year-old understands reality" before their mind completes it's evolution toward rational materialism; implying that phenomenalist perspectives are relics from a more primative Time--silly nonsense for little babies.
But Peterson’s own hyper-rationalism has brought him closer to paranoia than understanding. He embodies a nightmare realm where a plus-sized woman on the cover of Sports Illustrated morphs into the spectre of post-modern Marxism. By Peterson's own admission, he lays awake at night unable to sleep for all the terror pumping through his veins (Hitler slept with the lights on too).
Only when we wake do we know we were dreaming.
Sorry if this seems convoluted, but I wanted to put these feelings into words, because they are what saved me from following my family down the rabbit hole during the pandemic. I'm haunted by the fact that I couldn't pull them out. When they started sharing videos about the "New World Order" and the great reset, I tried to explain that these were just re-contextualized nazi conspiracies, but at the Time I was still very raw about having been lied to my entire life, so my tone was less than helpful and I only ended up damaging our relationships. I didn't yet understand that there is no reasoning with conspiricism because
Twilight Video Gone
https://redd.it/1k38dsv
@r_ContraPoints
