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A huge thanks to this sub for teaching me how to brush my teeth regularly
There was a post some time ago about someone ranting about the many healthcare issues ADHDers goes through, including the dread that is to brush your teeth (it's boring, not long enough, not brief enough, you have to do it everyday etc).
Someone in the comment section said that he/she/they could only do it because he/she/they disliked the feeling in your mouth after eating... And that did it for me. Now I always remember that comment after eating and immediately go brush my teeth.
A huge thanks for whoever posted that comment! Me and my dentist are very glad!
https://redd.it/kuia9q
@r_adhd
Semi-grumpy rant: not every aspect of your personality is caused by your ADHD
Brains are complicated. Really complicated. No two brains are the same. Yes, a lot of people diagnosed with ADHD share some characteristics and behaviors, but that doesn't mean that there is one "ADHD brain".
There are soooo many things that make you you. From your genes to your childhood to your culture and education. All of those things shape you.
I'm being a bit grouchy, but that's because I recognize this tendency from myself. I used to see ADHD as the source of basically every aspect of my personality. And that did not help my self-image.
ADHD is a set of shared symptoms and experiences, but it's different for everyone. There will be people with mild forms of it that never get diagnosed, and there will be people with a very intense, debilitating form that influences their path through life a lot. But they're still a fascinatingly complex and unique human being.
Don't let four letters define you. It's okay to own your diagnosis and sometimes think (or say) "huh, that was a pretty ADHD thing to do". But don't look at everything in your life through the lens of the diagnosis. You're much more than that.
https://redd.it/kuj4rk
@r_adhd
tabs open. You're lagging, none of the tabs work properly, you keep switching tabs, notifications pop up, one tab is playing music from an ad and you don't know which one because the tab boxes are too small for the microphone icon to show, and you can't remember which tab is where or what you were working on...
Imagine a job interview where you're asked a question, you start answering, and midway through you realize you don't even know what the question was. Imagine a gradschool interview where you're given a problem and you look at it and you're so tired you don't even try and just say "I can't solve it" because you can't be bothered with solving it.
Imagine knowing you can do it.
Imagine being told you can do it.
Imagine not doing it. Not becoming anything.
Imagine spending your time playing ASMR videos while writing useless reddit posts instead of applying for PhD programs when the deadline is Jan 15th.
So no, this isn't a superpower. It's not quirky. It's not cute. It's annoying, and miserable. It's like a constant battle in me that maybe all those doctors are wrong and I'm just a really really lazy person... It's knowing what's wrong, knowing what you have to do, and NOT DOING IT.
https://redd.it/kuj73l
@r_adhd
ADHD and exercise
Fellow squirrel notice-ers, rabbit chasers, and non-organizers:
Let me preface by saying, I take Vyvanse, and it has thus far worked quite beautifully, but it has not been a cure all. I started the meds, and it wasn't an immediate or total turn around in my life, what I did see is that chasm that was between me and the things I want to do get small enough to jump over, like I really had a say in the matter. For me, this was critical for me taking the step to getting back in the gym, working on my software development, and other projects.
For the purposes of this piece, I will stick strictly to discussing the positive impact exercise has had on my functioning with ADHD in conjunction with medication.
Before Vyvanse, I still wanted to get back in the gym, but there always seemed to be a reason not to. Mostly the big scary chasm. After Vyvanse, I found myself getting up, dressed, and into the gym early in the morning. This was just the first step. Having been fairly competitive both athletically and academically in highschool and college (before firebombing an academic scholarship and all my grades before my first semester was even over, more on that later if anyone cares), the gym was not an unfamiliar place, though I completely understand the apprehension a gym may cause many in this group.
After the first workout, I was sore, sweaty, and in a mild state of euphoria. I left feeling like I had super powers. My concentration was on point, attention to detail was exactly what it needed to be. I suspect this is connected to the dopamine release associated with exercise.
After a week, my super powers began to feel normal, consistent. My energy levels that I had been told would rise and fall on Vyvanse regulated beautifully.
After a month, I was losing weight and feeling better all around.
And now the kicker:
One day, I forgot to take my meds before heading to the gym, and I didn't have time to go back home. My symptoms ended up being a bit more noticeable that than the past month, but I felt it was still within my ability to control. That was different. I still accomplished was supposed to do, and still felt very balanced in my over all state.
I can't attribute this to one or the other, but, I can say in conjunction, medication, diet, and exercise have done wonders for my adult life, and I want the rest of you to know that there are tangible things we can do to help ourselves.
This is such a life-giving and encouraging community, I just wanted to do my part.
That said,
Here's my ADHD work out schedule, it takes about 45 minutes, and is significantly more impactful if done before the day begins.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday:
- 20 minutes of daily cardio
-(just do what you find fun)
- Free weights (do NOT lift heavy your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd week in if you don't have a history of working out, you WILL hurt yourself). Take your time and rest between sets, and don't be discouraged if you have to lift "light".
- I do bench press, leg press or squats (I don't recommend squats or deadlifts unless you have someone to watch and teach you proper form) upper body dumbell lifts (various motions at light weight), 3 sets of 15 reps for each at a reasonable weight for you.
- end with 10 minutes of cardio
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
This takes 30 minutes
Choose cardio and movement- based exercises you enjoy doing, and can maintain for a period of time.
For me, it's the stationary bike and a hellish bear-crawl device they call "Jacob's Ladder". Make sure you are in motion and exerting for at least 2/3 of the time you allocate to this workout.
Anyway, I just wanted to take sometime to encourage others that deal with ADHD and share a strategy that has worked really well for me.
I hope this helps someone else.
https://redd.it/kufbm0
@r_adhd
Rant about how people don't take ADHD seriously
I'm so sick of people thinking of ADHD as this quirky, not terribly serious disorder that just makes you distracted and forgetful so it only ever interferes in the everyday little things. I have ADHD-PI and let me tell you: it is hell. I feel like I have to work twice or thrice as hard as other people to get simple things done even though I KNOW that I'm smart and proactive and more organized than your average person. I'm also a student - computer science at UCLA - and although I used to be a good student as a kid, I'm a disaster student now and it's very, very hard - so hard that I can't even really talk about how much I've struggled with school in the last 5-6 years without wanting to break down.
My ADHD messes w *everything*. I always feel like I don't have the mental energy to do any kind of work, I'm always late to things, I have a terrible track record in maintaining relationships w people, the emotional dysregulation makes me short tempered and temperamental in general, I have a billion things I want to do but never can, and finally but least importantly - I'm absent minded and distracted. It's not fun watching people say idiotic things like "I forget my car keys a lot, I think I have ADHD" or watching videos where people equate ADHD to some sort of mild issue that most people have and that can be fixed w like life hacks or something. Like you might be ADHD, but don't make the mistake of generalizing the mild ADHD experience or simply being a scattered person as the universal ADHD experience.
ADHD is literally an executive disorder, which means that it massively detriments your ability to function as a normal human being. It's not fun, it's not easy, it's not trivial, and it sure as hell isn't a word you can throw about casually.
https://redd.it/kudj4x
@r_adhd
Tomorrow is potential diagnosis day
Tomorrow morning is the day I've been waiting for, for quite a few years now. My meeting with a psychiatrist to discuss if I have ADHD or not.
Thing is, I'm absolutely terrified now. I'm terrified that I look like an idiot doing it and it suddenly becomes painfully obvious I don't have ADHD. I'm terrified that a professional laughs me off.
It's with Psychiatry-UK, which I found on this sub as being good, does anyone have any good experiences they could share to calm me down before the big day?
I'm not sure if in the event of a positive diagnosis I want medicated, I have no frame of reference to know how good it would be but appetite suppression would destroy my one main hobby/goal. I'm worried about everything.
https://redd.it/kuden6
@r_adhd
ADHD and obsessed with identity
CW Ed
I'm wondering if this is common with ADHD or if it's something else. Obviously going to a Reddit ain't profesh advice but I'm curious how you all relate or if you do.
Since I was young I've been obsessed with identity. I did millions of personality tests, to the point where it was once a week or so. Then I was obsessed with forming my life around an ED I had. When that just went away somehow I then became obsessed with my sexuality. I learned I was bisexual and had to know everything. Then it was gender, where I became obsessed with my gender identity.
Then I got obsessed with my ancestry. To the point where it's unhealthy. Like it's all I think about these days.
Then from that spirituality, like needing to find my own spirituality.
Now I'm having a massive existential crisis and questioning why I'm obsessed and why I wasted my life obsessing over these things
But literally I cannot help it? Even when I'm aware these things are weird I just do it. I can't stop. And I know identity is important, it's just my way of dealing with it is obsession. It infiltrates everything I do.
I wonder if it's a hyperfocus, but then it's just a lifelong hyperfocus specified around identity.
I just want to exist without being so obsessed with defining myself and joining groups and etc like I'm losing who I actually am to being obsessed with these things.
Is this something you can relate to? Maybe it's not an ADHD thing? Though it would be worth an ask
https://redd.it/kuae7h
@r_adhd
I feel guilty about using medication and being dependent on something so critical to my functioning and wellbeing. Any idea how to deal with it?
I had been dealing with a plethora of issues such as general anxiety, lack of focus, mild depression since my teenage years but never responded to any sort of medications prescribed for me by several doctors. A few years ago, I emigrated from my home country to an "advanced" country in North America, so I decided to follow up with doctors here in the hope of solving my issues. Thanks to the medications I received here, many of my symptoms disappeared altogether and I feel very well, but I feel guilty that I need to take 2 different medications each day in order to feel this way. If I stop taking my medications, I not only experience many of my issues such as anxiety, hyper-awareness, etc. reappearing, I also experience a bunch of withdrawal symptoms related to those medications. It makes me feel "guilty" about taking medications, for the lack of a better term. Like the very fact that my well-being is tangent on regularly receiving these medications for the rest of my life makes me feel insecure about my autonomy in my life. The thing with mental issues is that they feel different than physical issues. I would not contest receiving medications if I had a disease like asthma. My guilt comes to form the fact that I believe maybe I could address my issues by changing my mindset or using alternative approaches like mindfulness, even though I didn't have much success with these methods before. I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with this dilemma too...
https://redd.it/kua4a7
@r_adhd
ADHD diagnosis is killing my superiority complex and fixing my personality
tl;dr simple-minded farmhand thought he was a struggling genius.
I can be a hypercritical, angry, judgmental, contrarian bastard a lot of the time. This beam of disdain gets pointed in lots of directions, but a decent amount is toward myself. So when I first heard what a superiority complex was a few years ago, I had a very sinking feeling. For clarity, here is a quick definition courtesy of wikipedia:
'A superiority complex is a defense mechanism that develops over time to help a person cope with painful feelings of inferiority. Individuals with this complex typically come across as supercilious, haughty, and disdainful toward others.'
To help keep my self-esteem afloat above the sea of disdain for myself and others, I had crafted a mythology where I was an impressively intelligent and insightful force of skepticism and wisdom. I valued being correct over everything else. When I didn't know something or got a bad test score, there was usually an excuse to be found. Even then, bad grades usually caused fantastic bouts of suicidal depression.
However, at 23, still in university, with increasingly unimpressive grades and poor life choices piling on top of each other, it was beginning to become obvious that my troubled genius mythology was unravelling, and the ceiling for my self-worth was going down with it. Even if everything in life was going well, what was the point of it if I was just an average schmo?
In August of 2020 I was in heavy-lockdown in Melbourne, essentially giving up on university and wasting days as quickly as I could get them out of the way. I had tangible, unwavering feeling that something had to change. In October, I got told I had ADHD and was given medication.
Things have been a rollercoaster since then, and treatment has been fairly unsuccessful and expensive, but it's a work in progress. More relevantly, I am beginning to feel the effect of understanding myself better, and I can honestly say it has revolutionised everything.
There have been two sides to the ADHD self-acceptance coin. Trying to live up to your own and others' expectations with undiagnosed ADHD is a horrible business. So initially the obvious thing to do is start to forgive yourself for all the social, educational, workplace failures. ADHD makes everything harder and more confusing, it puts you at a terrible disadvantage in anything involving discipline, tact and awareness. Being able to revise your own assessment of how you performed throughout life is extremely healing.
The other side of the coin is one I never expected. I have been able to lower my future expectations, and mostly feel at peace in doing so. It sounds odd to say, but this has been blissful and liberating. As I did some reading on ADHD, it became apparent that it was the ultimate excuse for not being the super-disciplined, polymath genius I wanted to be. It decreases IQ, brain size, ability to consistently study anything or apply knowledge. Suddenly I was able to accept and embrace all my flaws that I was desperately trying to suppress.
Instead of despairing at the chasm between where I was (not much) and where I wanted to be (genius etc), I was able to accept myself as who I was: a mentally-handicapped young man raised on a sheep farm, with no significant talents to speak of. Now with this new, more realistic (and humorously self-deprecating) sense of identity, I am able to admit I am wrong, I'm less competitive, less serious, less assertive, more accepting, and less focused on myself and my personal achievements. These are the things I have always valued in a person, but they always seemed unobtainable for me. There's still a lot of work to do, but it feels life I've unlocked a new part of myself that I've always yearned for.
\- - - - - - - -
Didn't really expect anyone to resonate with this or even read it, but I wanted to get this written in some form. Hope you enjoyed my story if you did stick with it, and thanks a lot for letting me share it with
Can anyone relate? Unable to remember emotions
I just need to know if anyone else here has experienced this, because I’m starting to think it’s probably an ADHD thing...if I have a shitty day, but then one good thing happens, I can only really focus on and effectively remember the one good thing, which leaves me questioning my own experience and frustrated because I can’t process the negative emotions because they don’t feel valid or real. Like when I was a kid, I would have a bad day at school, but then I would see a butterfly or have my favorite snack and I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about my day because the only valid thing was the one good thing that happened.
Okay i hope that makes sense, I do not have the stamina to go back and read that through ahaha
https://redd.it/ku7uw4
@r_adhd
Do you ever wonder if meds make you high or this is just what normal people feel?
So I just started vyvanse a couple months ago and honestly it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a while. I feel like this clarity, like the fog has finally lifted and sometimes I think wow, is this what it’s like to be neuro typical? Because it’s crazy how much I’ve changed and how much better I feel, but sometimes i just think maybe I’m just high or whatever and this clarity I feel isn’t actually what everyone else feels, but just the effects of the drug. Idk I don’t really have a question or anything I’ve just been wondering a lot about the effects these drugs actually have on me and if normal people feel like this all the time, because if they do, no wonder I can’t do anything lol
https://redd.it/ku26ka
@r_adhd
Let me tell you a wholesome thing
Today I was streaming on twitch with close friends, one of which also has adhd and probably is the only friend who really understands me.
So probably because of my adhd combined with few other stuff, I've been forgetting to eat. Like a lot of days. And during the stream I was like "oh... I didn't eat today again..." And he told me to go eat but I of course said I'd do it later. Nearly 2 hours later in the middle of the stream my door rang. There was food. I asked the delivery guy if he was at the wrong door and he said it was a gift from the said friend. It had a note on it too.
He basically forced me to eat, and it was probably the nicest thing someone ever did for me.
https://redd.it/ku4epk
@r_adhd
Diagnosed today at age 31 years and 11 months
So that's it. I'm confirmed ADHD.
I'm starting with methylphenidate 20mg and see how I go.
Any experience with this?
I have mixed feelings:
- angry that it was missed for nearly 32 years of my life and I've had to work multiple times harder than most others to get almost as good grades as they got.
- thankful for the above - it has made me more resilient
- thankful and excited for the start of this new journey
- anxious of this new journey also
- I've learned a lot from discovering this, as ADHD never crossed my mind.. I've learned that we all need to be kinder and judge less.
https://redd.it/ktzejf
@r_adhd
Not all ADHD is created equally
So I just got diagnosed with ADHD this past Monday, though, I had been previously diagnosed when I was 5. My mom lost that paperwork so I had to do testing all over again. I'm actually really excited to start my medication because I've been self treating with caffeine for years(thanks mom).
I have a brain condition that doesn't function well with caffeine so I've had to cut back which has made my ADHD very obvious and hard to control. Add in that I have a caffeine addiction and it's just a mess.
I just got to work and went by to talk to one of the workers here that I usually talk with. He asked if anything good happened this week and I told him about my diagnosis. He pulled a "I have ADD and don't need meds, I handle it just fine." Dude you work at a gym as a personal trainer. I'm a security guard. We're on two different fields here.
I get frustrated when people think medication for ADHD is bad and that choosing to medicate instead of just dealing with it is a bad thing. I'm legit tired of the stigma behind medicating yourself for your mental health problems.
Anyways I figure a lot of us have had this conversation before. But it doesn't change that I'm still happy to finally start getting my ADHD under control.
https://redd.it/ktvm1p
@r_adhd
The moment I sit down to work on something, my brain instantly extrapolates that thing to the most extreme version of it possible. Looking for engineering job -> Starting the next SpaceX
My brain has this insane tendency to massively complicate any little thing I need to do. It makes it nearly impossible to take meaningful small steps towards any sort of goal because I'm constantly juggling 100 different possible hypothetical routes to that goal. Most of these fantasies aren't grounded in reality at all either so its a total waste of mental effort to even consider them yet I still do.
Let me just sit down for an hour and look for a new job...5 minutes later I'm daydreaming about how I should start the next SpaceX and how my future company is going to land humans on Mars.
https://redd.it/ktxxas
@r_adhd
ADHD needs a new name.
"Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder".
This name is just too misleading. Let's break it down.
"Attention" - This condition affects executive function, not just attention.
"Deficit" - Sometimes we hyperfixate on things for hours and hours. Sometimes we can't focus on anything at all. To call this condition a deficit of attention is only half true at best.
"Hyperactivity" - Not every person with ADHD is hyperactive. Some of us are inattentive. Some of us are inattentive and hyperactive. The "H" needs to go.
"Disorder" - The only part of ADHD's name that makes sense. ADHD disrupts normal brain function. It's a disorder. But for some reason, people don't read the last letter of ADHD and think the disorder is either 1) nothing serious, or 2) a gift. Goddammit.
ADHD needs a new name.
https://redd.it/kume0d
@r_adhd
Is it a common ADHD thing to be considered "gifted" by your parents and pushed into high expectations of creativity and success, only to feel constantly disappointed in yourself as an adult?
My parents put me in a bunch of art classes and stuff when I was a kid and always made me feel like I was truly amazing, and it inflated my ego incredibly.
I have a suspicion that thanks to ADD I would shift from having zero confidence in being able to do anything due to anxiety and procrastination, to achieving just a little but or creating a small part of something and feeling like it'll be amazing and better than everyone else and I must be the greatest in the world but now I should take a break and then never get back to it for a long time, resulting in the other feeling of being useless.
Seems like the cycle between these two extremes just goes around and around, is this ADHD or something else? And does anyone else have this issue and/or know what to do about it?
https://redd.it/kuk5va
@r_adhd
Stop saying this is a superpower. No, it's a disability and I'm losing at life. I can't do anything - My story with ADHD
I was diagnosed at 17. (exactly 10 years ago) As a girl, growing up in the early 00s in middle east, it's not at all the norm to be diagnosed with ADHD. I kept getting questions wrongs in Math especially despite being very good at understanding it. My teachers kept saying "you have to pay more attention to the question" "read the question, underline parts of it" cause I would forget answering half. I had trouble adding numbers in my mind, and I was punished for this. I learned tricks to do this, so I didn't have to count with my fingers. I MEMORIZED math questions in high school because I was sick of missing little things. I could not memorize any other lesson for the life of me. I'm really good at math, so it was the easiest.
I got horrible grades in history and spelling! Highest grades were always computer, math and physics. Ended up going to school for CS, currently in grad school for CS.
It wasn't until my junior year of high school that I went to a doctor for a possible heart disease. Little did we know, my heart was fine and what I was experiencing was something called anxiety/panic attack. The doctor's diagnosis was GAD and ADD. My parents' opinion: it's all BS, you're just sensitive and spacy and lazy. Also, I quit playing sports in sophomore year and I legit felt like everything became harder. Now I know how important the work outs was in controling my symptoms. So, my parents refused me going on meds and that was that.
I went to another doctor at 19, on my own, same diagnosis and started meds. Changed doctors at 21, same diagnosis after a bunch of tests, started Ritalin. It worked very well, to the point that I finally managed to pass some actual classes and graduate about 2 years later than I was supposed to at 23. I had to change doctors again, and the last one has me on concerta which is better than the horrible crash on ritalin (normal one?). Except, I haven't taken my meds in about a month because I've been severely depressed and thought "I'm not in the mood"...
So guess what? I forget everything. I set alarms and turn it off and forget right then. I had a class recently, I had forgotten about the homework. The class starts at 4:30. A bunch of my classmates sent their answers to the questions (7 questions) before class, by like 4:10. I ate lunch in a rush till 4:23, had a presentation with another student that I had slacked off on and before class told her "let's just wing it"... class starts at 4:30, we're the first group, we KILL the presentation. The second group goes on, I start rushing through the 7 questions and send them in in separate blurry(!) pictures in 2 minute successions. I do all 7 questions by 4:50 and send them in. I'm pretty sure I got all but one right.
This isn't superpower. I'm not particularly smart. I'm above average in certain areas, and below average at others. I actually have a low EQ, and I've been told that by many psychologists. BUT, imagine if I actually do my work in small chuncks, whitout pressure, spending a reasonable amount of time. I have ALWAYS gotten points for "functionality" on school (coding) assignments, and had points taken off me for "presentation" or appearance of my projects. Why? Because I literally start one week before and you don't have time to work on how things look - it just has to work. This is especially hard to deal with as a woman, because for some reason everyone expects women to hand in clean and pretty code and projects... and mine look like shit, but work perfectly fine.
I had messy books in school filled with drawings because I wasn't listening to the teacher. My notes? Even I don't understand them half the time. Imagine a bunch of math proofs and then one line is me "god I wanna die get me out of here" ... It's full of that. Sometimes I've written the hours in 5 minutes increments and crossed it off because I just wanted to get out of that class and was THAT bored.
I'm tired. My brain is tired. Imagine having 439
online class and adhd doesnt go together and i hate it
oh wow what a goddamn week this has been,, im failing all of my classes and i just had my very first breakdown,, i also just received my very first official failed grade so thats a plus,, the grades are based on how many requirements you were able to pass during the semester and as you might already know im fucking terrible on passing requirements,, and i actually thought id do better in online class compared to regular classes,, sure i was barely passing in regular classes from a "gifted" child point of view but at least im passing at all,, both my parents and teachers arent helping much either,, so now here i am,, fucking sobbing while trying to do some of the hws ive missed to at least add some more points to my already failed grades,, please help
https://redd.it/kug7gk
@r_adhd
I thought this was just me...is it actually ADHD???????
I saw a meme yesterday , I tried to post in here but can't seem to, not sure why,, so going to try to describe it.
It was light switch with the "on" being "complete and utter obsession " and the "off" being "complete disinterest"
I know part of the adhd thing is being like this with projects, or hobbies, or even tv shows...being obsessed and then losing interest entirely.
But being like this in relationships, I thought this was something else that was wrong with me, until I saw someone comment on the post that it was "typical adhd"...and it shocked me.
I have always had this issue...I can be obsessed with a person, be SO into the relationship for weeks, even think I am falling in love and then suddenly from one minute to the next, I am over it. Zero feelings left, no interest whatsoever, like a light switch that got turned off. And am even repulsed by that person....if they try to make me come back around, it gets even worse and I will start to hate them.....I truly thought this was just something wrong with me due to the multiple abandonment issues I have..
Is this actually ADHD related????? I have only recently been diagnosed, (a couple weeks ago)so this group is very very new to me....
Please , please, if this is a common issue, please tell me.. I have felt like there was something SO WRONG with me due to this and I have no idea how to fix it! Help me! My friends have even commented through the years that there is "something wrong with me" because of this, and it has gotten to the point where I won't even try, and have resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life because of this.
https://redd.it/kudvbr
@r_adhd
What are you proud of today?
Got a good grade on a test? A new promotion at work? Finally finished a chore you've been putting off? We want to hear about it! Let us celebrate your successes with you!
https://redd.it/kue1wc
@r_adhd
The problem with transitioning into adulthood as a young adult with ADHD
As a kid your parents would wake you up in the morning, drag your ass to school, where you were stuck whether you liked it or not. The teachers would watch you like a hawk. After, you went to an extra curricular, then home, did your homework and went to sleep when your parents told you to go to bed. You lived on a routine set by the adults around you, they were the authority that set that tiny fear in you that prevented you to completely fall into the hole of procrastination and every other pitfall of ADHD. The problem is, when you transition into adulthood. The amount of freedom that comes with it, is every ADHD kids wet dream. No one to make you follow any rules, or to have a certain schedule. And so the marbles drop. Your fitness levels go away since you don’t work out anymore because there is no PE or school team to play for, which was fun with easy access. Instead you’d have to completely motivate yourself to work out on your own and it’s just not as good is it? Your ability to study drops, because at university you either do it or not, you don’t have to show up every week so might as well cram all the work one week before the exam. The eating habits get worse since you don’t eat regular meals, with lunch at school and dinner with the family. Instead it’s up to you to chef up whatever you want, whenever you want. The list just goes on. The security blanket of childhood routine disappears and you find yourself in a deep abyss of lostness with no sense of direction, everyday the same but somehow never forward.
https://redd.it/ku6n7i
@r_adhd
I feel like an alien
Does anyone else feel like an alien? I feel like I care so much more about most things than everyone else. Like whether it's personal projects or personal relationships I feel like I put so much more into them than everyone around me and it's becoming frustrating and exhausting. Has anybody gone thru something similar? Or does anyone have advice? Thanks
https://redd.it/ku2wgc
@r_adhd
I’m frustrated at what I could have done with my life if I’d been diagnosed sooner, and am having a really hard time coping with it.
**Long post. I’m so sorry. It’s a lot. I tried to break it up into smaller paragraphs because I know it’s hard for us to focus on walls of text.**
Just diagnosed a few days ago and everything makes so much sense now. Initially I was elated, but tonight, I’m angry/depressed. I think I need to vent about specific things that I feel like completely held me back from a “better” future for myself (not that any one idea of a future is good or bad- everyone has their own path/own timeline), if that makes any sense?
The difficulty focusing in school along with the procrastination- but since I managed to get good grades, never thinking it was an issue. The inability to choose a major because I could never find a specific interest, so just landing on a Psychology major because of my own messed up brain, then promptly doing absolutely nothing with my degree after graduation. Hopping from entry level job to entry level job, all in different fields. When leaving each job, deciding I suddenly want to do something completely different- followed by suddenly having zero interest in it anymore. The only job I adored was being a veterinary assistant, but I couldn’t even bring myself to pay to become certified as a technician, because I just *knew* I’d lose interest, like I do with literally everything else. I had to leave that job due to an insanely toxic environment...and I’ve been job hunting ever since. It’s been 3 months. During a pandemic.
My resume contains so many various positions. I know a **little bit** about a **lot of** things- but I’m not a professional or “experienced” in any of them. Trying to decide what job to do next has been so f*cking difficult. I apply to so many different positions and have to adjust my resume for each one. Making a headline for my LinkedIn is impossible, because I’m not a “professional” at anything, and I don’t really want a career in anything specific. Jobs reject me before I’m even interviewed, and I can safely assume that it’s because my resume shows I haven’t stuck to one particular field for longer than two years. I’ve been a Veterinary Assistant. Administrative assistant. Social media manager. Worked at an animal daycare. Nannied. Worked in retail. Dabbled in data entry. You name it; I’ve tried it.
I’m just...frustrated, guys. I spent all of these years being undiagnosed (I’m turning 27 tomorrow) and thinking that my lack of focus, my constant dropping of hobbies, my inability to stick to one thing, my constant changing my mind (among the myriad of other typical ADHD symptoms we all know and love) were just my “personality”. I spent *years* kicking myself, listening to my dad tell me that I’m smart and need to decide what I want to do and stick with it. I spent *years* feeling like I was broken, lazy, dumb, and that my lack of motivation meant I just wasn’t built for this world. Comparing myself to other people my age became addicting, and just added onto how crappy I felt about myself.
And now this. The diagnosis. The *AHA!* moment. I’m elated to finally have an explanation, but I’m so sad about **all of the lost time**. Would I have done better in school? Would I have chosen an interest and excelled in it? Would I have a job I loved? Would I have a hobby or two that lasted years rather than two weeks at a time? I feel like I’m kind of mourning, in a way, and it’s so hard to accept that there was a solution right in front of me that my previous psychiatrists just never recognized.
Anyway. I’m rambling, as I do, as a lot of us do...but I just had to let this out somewhere to people who would understand. Thank you so much for reading if you got this far.
https://redd.it/ku6r5b
@r_adhd
Does your brain shut down and refuse to reboot when stressed out?
This week has been a mess, but I didn't even realize I was stressed until a friend asked me why she needed to remind me about what happened at the Capitol every morning since it occurred. I've dealt with what I call "forced forgetfulness" for years. I'll forget faces, names, and whole events if something upsets me.
I'll also sorta' shut down and go on autopilot, by the evening I'll realized I've accomplishment nothing that day.
Anyone else experience anything similar, if so how do you cope?
https://redd.it/ku3e1n
@r_adhd
Fragments of songs/phrases stuck on loop in my head all day
Recently diagnosed, recently medicated combined type here. Something that I've noticed through my whole life has been that I get little snippets of songs or phrases stuck in my head and my brain will just repeat them to me in the background all day. Sometimes I don't even know where I pick them up.
Yesterday it was the chorus of a Taylor Swift song (I don't even listen to Taylor Swift?!), and for the 2 days before that it was some parody song I heard on tiktok. Sometimes it's a name, phrase, word.
Given that a lot of non-ADHD folks I talk to don't have this, I'm starting to wonder if it's an ADHD specific thing. Can anyone on here relate? And any tips for dealing with it?? Sometimes it can be terribly annoying.
https://redd.it/ktxr89
@r_adhd
I can't get any hobby to stick and it's making me sad
I've gone through so many hobbies (or let's be real... obsessions) but I can't get any of them to stick. Over the years I've tried reading, drawing, piano, violin, guitar, archery, cross-stitch... and probably a whole lot more that I'm forgetting right now. I'm not good at any of them because I don't do anything long enough to be good at it.
I can't even play through a videogame before losing interest and it's so frustrating. I don't want to waste my days mindlessly scrolling through social media and reddit!
Lately I've been thinking about buying some polymer clay to try to make some sculptures but I already know I'll give up on it after a few tries. So why even bother?
Does anyone have any tips?
https://redd.it/ku0bb5
@r_adhd
ADHD: Taking out your phone during the 10 seconds it takes your laptop to start up.
Does anyone else do stupid stuff like this?
Like really brain? You're so scared of not doing anything for 10 whole seconds, so you need to browse Reddit? Chill out! God!
Sorry, I just hate it sometimes. It's just kind of embarrassing to get caught on my phone when my husband comes back from putting his cup in the kitchen sink, which took all of 10 seconds. I seem to have this fear of boredom or something. Like I can't just be patient enough to wait for my husband to return and start watching our show again. I NEED to do something.
It is the perfect example of our issues though. I wasn't bored, I didn't want to do anything else, but I just couldn't stop my hand from reaching for that phone. An impulse I couldn't stop. A need for instant gratification that my laptop wasn't giving me. I thought that was kinda cool.
Anywho, detour over! Back to building houses in the sims!
https://redd.it/ktxwnt
@r_adhd
If you have a tendency to skip lunch b/c of meds, stock up on kids' snacks! It makes eating easy and mess-free.
I've been medicated for about 2 months now and the Vyvanse really kills my appetite in the afternoon. At first I was fine just skipping lunch, but I've realized recently just how drastically it can affect how well my meds work.
Making lunch is way more of a hassle when you're not really hungry; you have to prep ingredients, clean dishes etc. and it sucks away a lot of time in my afternoons.
What I found has made it easier for me is to just stock up on snacks made for kid lunches: pepperoni sticks, cheese strings, applesauce cups, granola bars etc. Now when I'm hungry in the afternoon, I just build myself a "school lunch" and munch on the pre-portioned, pre-packaged snacks I have around the house. Nothing to cook, no dishes to clean, so lunch only takes 15 minutes at most. It's really improved my eating habits.
https://redd.it/ktwx5r
@r_adhd