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TIFU by giving myself food poisoning with my own cooking
Well, I decided to “meal prep” for the first time like I see on Tiktok and made a whole batch of chicken for the week. I thought it looked fine, but apparently the inside wasn’t fully cooked. I noticed a little pink but convinced myself it was just the chicken lighting and powered through it with extra sauce. And guess what? It was not. A few hours later my stomach started going crazy and I was hugging the toilet like it was my new best friend. The worst part is I proudly served the same chicken to a couple of my friends were were hanging out. We all ended up sick and now they won’t stop calling me “Salmonella Chef”. I feel guilty and embarrassed and honestly too scared to cook chicken again. My fridge still has three Tupperware containers of that cursed meal sitting there like biological weapons, and I gag just looking at them. I was trying to save time and be healthy. Instead I poisoned myself and my best friends.
TL;DR: Tried to meal prep chicken, undercooked it, gave myself (and my friends) food poisoning
https://redd.it/1nzlz78
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by bleaching my roommate’s laundry by accident
So basically I was doing laundry half-asleep this morning and grabbed what I thought was normal detergent. Spoiler: it was bleach. I didn’t even realize until I pulled everything out of the washer and saw my roommate's favorite black hoodie, leggings and basically half her wardrobe looking like they’d been tie dyed by a ghost. My hear literally dropped instantly. And in panic, i shoved everything into the dryer hoping maybe hear would magically fix it. Nope. Just as I was pulling out a pair of blotchy sweatpants by roommate walked in. The look on her face was scarier than any horror movie i’ve seen. I explained that i really messed up and tried to ease the moment by trying to joke that it’s a new fashion trend, but she was not amused. I offered to replace everything, but of course most of it was “vintage” or “limited edition” which apparently means it’s impossible to find again. Now she’s talking to me like I’m her irresponsible child instead of her roommate, and I’m stuck doing dishes for the next month as punishment (I guess i deserved that).
TL;DR: Mistook bleach for detergent, destroyed my roommate’s wardrobe, now she treats me like a child.
https://redd.it/1nzl2hs
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by wearing see-through pants to the gym
Alright, this morning I decided to hit the gym early and wear a pair of leggings I haven’t used in a very long time. They looked fine at home, but under the gym lights they basically turned into x-ray vision. I didn’t realize until I caught the guy on the treadmill behind me looking for a little too long. I rushed to the mirror and when I turned around.. yep. Full moon. I panicked, grabbed my hoodie and tied it around my waist like I was back in middle school. Of course, that didn't help much because by then half the gym had already seen me doing squats in see-though pants. I finished one set just to pretend I wasn’t embarrassed then bailed. I’m honestly debating if I need to find a whole new gym now because I don’t think I can show my face there again.
TL;DR: Wore old leggings to the gym, didn’t realize they were see-through until it was way too late.
https://redd.it/1nzi5h4
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by leaving my bookmark in my in-laws "relaxing" area.
Yes, I'm in a gay relationship lol. So long story long because this needs to be at least 750 characters. If you dont wanna read it, you can skip to the end. But my boyfriend has always been really generous and adorable with gift giving. We both shower eachnother with gifts every year for every occasion (not necessarily expensive ones cause we are both broke but even little trinkets plus the occasional larger gift). One year while we were still long distance, he got me a bunch of little doodads, one being a bookmark.
This wasnt just anY bookmark.
It was a penis-shaped bookmark. (Link at bottom for photo). And I started using it for this book that Im reading for school.
Now, his parents are living with us and they have like their own recliners where they, for lack of a better word, "chill". One night, I brought this book Im reading for an honors project to their recliners to read because I need to get through it and my partner was cooking dinner, and it was almost done (and their chairs are right near the kitchen). I pulled my bookmark out and set it aside on the arm. Apparently. In this moment. I decided to use the index card I had been taking notes on and use it as a bookmark instead, completely forgetting that I had another one I was using.
It has been a week. At least.
My partner just brought the bookmark back to me, saying he found it lying by their chairs. They are not the typical "innocent" old people that wouldnt know what it was or not notice. Ik these mfs saw it and know what it was. They didnt bring it up and I wont either and now Ill just slowly die inside. Maybe Ill talk about it in a few years when Im drunk one night or something to them lmao.
TL;DR: I know my in-laws saw the penis-shaped bookmark I accidentally left in their recliners lol. And I am just a little more dead inside. Thats all.
Edit: my high ass forgot to put the link so here it is:
https://imgur.com/a/EfWLzDn
https://redd.it/1nz9n0v
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU: I thought I could help my sick roommate… I ended up with norovirus
A few weeks ago, I had the most humiliating and miserable experience of my life thanks to norovirus. It all started when my roommate went to visit his nephew. The nephew had been sick with norovirus the week before, and even though he seemed better, he was still contagious. My roommate, confident and completely unaware, spent several hours at his nephew’s house, playing with him and taking care of him. What he didn’t know (and what I also didn’t suspect) was that he was bringing home an invisible, utterly lethal package: a virus that leaves you completely powerless and wishing for death for a couple of days.
The next day, my roommate started showing the first symptoms: a mild stomachache, slight nausea, and fatigue. As a good friend (or total idiot), I decided I could “take care of him” without putting myself at risk. I bought disinfectant, gloves, a mask, wipes—I felt like I was preparing for a biological war. I imagined myself as a modern hero, ready to save my roommate from his misery without becoming a victim myself. How naive I was.
At first, everything seemed under control. My roommate stayed in bed, I brought him water, made sure he didn’t get dehydrated, cleaned the surfaces he touched, and tried not to get too close. I genuinely thought my precautions would be enough to keep me safe. But, as anyone who has ever come into contact with norovirus knows, this virus has a very different plan for anyone foolish enough to underestimate it.
A few hours later, I felt a strange twist in my stomach, like a tornado was spinning inside me. I thought maybe I had eaten something bad, but no—it was the beginning of the nightmare. Minutes later, intense nausea hit, followed by cold sweat soaking through my shirt. Every time I tried to move, the abdominal pain intensified until I had no choice but to seek refuge in the bathroom.
And then came the first attack: uncontrollable vomiting, liquids first and then solids, while it felt like my intestines were revolting against me. Each cramp that bent me in half was a reminder of the colossal mistake I had made. I tried to hydrate, but nothing stayed down: water, broth, and the few crackers I attempted to eat seemed to have minds of their own and found their way out almost immediately. The extreme weakness was terrifying: my legs refused to hold me, and the dizziness was so bad that any movement felt like climbing Everest.
For the next 24 hours, it was an endless cycle of vomiting, explosive diarrhea, and intense abdominal cramps, interspersed with brief periods of lethargy where all I could do was lie down and pray to survive the next attack. Every sound of the bathroom seemed like the soundtrack of an apocalyptic disaster, while my roommate slowly recovered in bed, completely unaware of my suffering.
The worst part was the feeling of absolute humiliation. I was trapped between the bed and the bathroom, completely vulnerable, sweating, shaking, and praying not to get dehydrated. My body seemed like it had been designed only to vomit and evacuate, and my mind couldn’t comprehend how something so small could wreak such havoc. Every time I peeked out of the bathroom, I saw the world moving on normally and thought: “How can something so tiny have me completely incapacitated?”
Two full days passed in this state of absolute disaster. My room looked like a battlefield: wet towels, empty water bottles, emergency buckets, and a smell I will never associate with my own bathroom again. My roommate, on the other hand, happily recovered while I was reduced to a shadow of my former self. I learned the hard way that there is no heroism when it comes to norovirus.
Moral: Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is simply stay in your room, keep your distance, and survive intact. Some tiny viruses are so ruthless that the only safe strategy is avoiding close contact until the infection has passed.
TL;DR: I tried to take care of my roommate who had brought norovirus from his nephew. I ended up completely defeated by the
TIFU by taking my partner to see 2001: A Space Odyssey
Last week I took my partner to see 2001, we were both very excited to finally see this amazing film in an actual theater. A little while before the intermission, I look over at her to see she is asleep, she's out cold and looks very comfy. What neither of us had considered was the fact that every night she listens to "Spaceship Sounds" brown noise to fall asleep and stay asleep, and after the film moves to The Discovery there is pretty much constant "Spaceship Sounds" engine noise in the background. Needless to say, she was out like a light. I did wake her up and we both enjoyed the rest of the movie (which I highly recommend seeing in theater if you get the chance).
Tl;dr- if you sleep with spaceship brown noise, 2001 is going to knock you tf out.
https://redd.it/1nz4736
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by telling my close friends and family that my ex bf died while he was very much alive…
So as the post says today I (23 m) fucked up, or I should say realised I fucked up, by telling my close friends and family my ex boyfriend had died and then today finding out that he was in fact, very much alive.
So for some back story, I was in a relationship with a guy back when we were both 16. The relationship itself was super toxic and during it we both were constantly using several class A substances, almost every weekend. This lead to us eventually breaking up as I wanted to get clean and he did not.
Fast forward 3 years after our breakup and I had gone to university and life was still very much the same for me; although I had briefly tried to get sober, I had given up and was routinely using several substances as well as drinking daily and using hallucinogenics most weekends. This will be relevant later.
One weekend, after a night out, I received a message telling me that my ex boyfriend had sadly passed away from an unintentional overdose. I was mortified. I spent weeks crying and grieving in my room, I refused to leave the room or to eat/ socialise. It was an incredibly painful and traumatic part of my life. It led to me dropping out of university and getting a full time job as I couldn’t focus on my studies any longer. Eventually I ended up signing up for therapy and after a long time (and a lot of money) I was able to work through this and also get completely sober in the process.
Fast forward to today, I have been sober for 3 years now and I’m in a new relationship which is much more healthy. However, today I logged into my instagram and see I have a suggested follower. It’s my “dead” ex boyfriend… At first I was livid and prepared to send the clearly fake profile a message telling them that what they were doing was beyond messed up; impersonating a dead person. But as I clicked on the profile I saw pictures that were clearly taken very recently, as well as a saved story that goes back several months and is very clearly my ex in the photos.
I was shocked, confused and ultimately I just broke down and cried. I had mourned this guy, spent hours talking to therapists about him and trying to move past the situation. Ultimately-my mom, brother and closest friends; as well as my current boyfriend- know that he is no longer with us. Except he is?!
I immediately messaged my friend who was with me at the time I originally found out about his passing and asked her what she remembered about the night. And she said she also remembers the message that I was sent detailing his passing, but that we were also under the influence of hallucinogenics (Reddit won’t allow me to say which ones specifically) at the time I had found out. This period in my life is very hazy, mostly due to a mix of trauma and substance abuse.
Now the issue is I’m filled with too many emotions and questions. Do I message him? I thought he was dead, I’ve literally mourned this man for years and I celebrate his life every year on his birthday with some of my close friends, but now he’s alive!? Like wtaf?! How do I tell my mom? How do I tell my friends? How do I tell my boyfriend? Is there any situation where I can come out of this not looking like an absolute psychopath? And most of all: how do you reconcile with someone “coming back from the dead?”
Any advice would be appreciated.
Some extra information: we have no remaining mutual friends as the break up was so nasty and messy that we cut contact with both one another and all associated friends. We also were long distance so there was no chance of us running into one another. No one I’ve told about his supposed passing has ever told me he was still alive or ever questioned me. I have had his old accounts blocked on all social media platforms so there was no chance of me coming into contact with him online either.
TL:DR : I’ve mourned the death of my ex boyfriend for years before finding out he never actually died and it was just the result of a substance fuelled weekend and some bad decisions.
going to several properties and just looking around trying to find my earbud just hoping it would turn up eventually. When I was about to leave and thought that I'd have to buy a replacement earbud, that first woman I talked to saw me and asked whether I found my earbud and as she was talking to me I saw her husband walk behind her, and I recognised him, it was the guy that works as a cleaner at my store. Fast forward 3 minutes, I talked to him and found out that he found it lying on the floor in store and picked it up and just took it home. He gave it back to me and thank him and just went home.
TL;DR: Woke up 5 minutes late, almost ended up paying 100 quid for a replacement earbud.
https://redd.it/1nyxaam
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by forgetting the stove on and burning down my kitchen
So this happened yesterday, and I still smell like smoke and shame.
I (27M) recently got into cooking to impress my girlfriend. I’ve been watching a ton of YouTube chefs and thought I was finally ready to level up from pasta and eggs to something more “gourmet.” Naturally, I chose to make coq au vin. Because, you know, start small.
Anyway, I had everything prepped: chicken marinating, veggies chopped, wine opened (okay, maybe I sampled it a little). I browned the chicken, got the dish simmering, and popped it into the oven for a slow cook. Here's where the FU begins:
My buddy calls and says he’s outside with a “surprise.” I go out to meet him thinking it’ll be five minutes. He brought beer and his new VR headset. One thing leads to another and suddenly I’m slicing zombies in half and an HOUR has passed.
I remembered the stove when the smoke alarm on my phone (yes, my phone) started going off. I sprint inside to the smell of death and carbon. The entire kitchen was filled with thick, black smoke. I couldn’t even see the oven just this dark cloud like Satan himself was cooking meth in there.
I grabbed a fire extinguisher, yanked open the oven (mistake #2), and whoosh oxygen hit that thing like jet fuel. Flames shot out and I freaked. I ended up blasting half the kitchen with the extinguisher. The fire got put out, but not before it melted my microwave, destroyed the cabinets, and basically torched everything flammable in a 10-foot radius.
Oh, and the chicken? Blacker than my soul.
\- Now I’m dealing with:
\- A half-burnt kitchen
\- A pissed-off landlord
\- A very traumatized cat
\- And an ego so bruised I may never cook again
TL;DR: Tried to cook fancy, got distracted by VR, forgot about the oven, and burned my kitchen. 0/10 do not recommend.
https://redd.it/1nyjfyc
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by almost dying because of a broken toothpick in my leftovers
This happened a while ago, but I thought about it while heating up some food.
It was late at night and I was hungry the kind of hunger where you don’t care what the food is, as long as it’s edible (or at least close enough). I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge. It was meat wrapped in bacon and held together with toothpicks. I saw the toothpicks, pulled them out, and figured that was good enough.
It wasn’t.
A few bites in, I felt something sharp in my mouth. Before I could even react, I started coughing—hard. The kind of coughing that turns into full-blown choking. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t talk. My vision started tunneling and panic took over. At that point I had one instinct I shoved my fingers down my throat, desperate to grab whatever was stuck or make myself throw it up.
And I did.
I pulled out half of a broken toothpick the other half must’ve snapped off and stayed inside the food when I "removed" them earlier. That little splinter of wood nearly killed me.
I sat on the floor for a while afterward, just trying to breathe normally again. Heart racing. Hands shaking. One moment I was casually eating leftovers, the next I was almost choking to death alone in the kitchen at midnight because of a toothpick.
There was no ER visit. No epic ambulance ride. Just me, realizing how close I came to dying in the dumbest way imaginable.
TLDR Ate leftovers, missed half a broken toothpick, nearly choked to death, saved myself by digging it out of my throat. I now fear both food and myself.
https://redd.it/1nyfgkf
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU: by expecting my knee to obey me.
38M - trotting along today and I was on my way to pick up some breakfast. I was feeling good so I started jogging a bit.
Then my knee just decided to take a vacation while I was in the middle of using it and I found myself on the ground - bewildered.
I checked out my leg, nothing has popped, no indication of sprain, no soreness, nothing. Hm, ok, maybe I just ... I dunno, brain fart?
I dusted myself off and continued down the street and as I approached the breakfast spot I waited for a light to change to cross the street.
I'm a one-leg leaner, and I assumed my normal lean on one leg position.
And boom. On my ass again. Yet again, my knee has gone on strike for no apparent reason - no pain or anything. In fact when getting up I could weight it again. On my way down I managed a decent gash / abrasion as I flailed and hit the walk sign next to me - nothing horrific by a good enough wound to warrant a tetanus shot.
I've been home just kinda mulling over wtf is happening to me, should I go to PT? How do I work out when my knee can just decide to full on fuck off mid rep?
Am I just fucking old now? Is this just what getting old is? Body parts just start defying your orders?
Anyway tl;Dr: expected my knee to do knee things and instead I'm left with a decent gash in my arm and realizing I think I'm old now :(
https://redd.it/1nyc9u2
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by burning the cafeteria’s microwave in 4th grade
This still haunts me to this day, as a 21-year-old. Usually, when I would bring my lunch, it was a sandwich or something I wouldn't need to cook because our cafeteria had one microwave. people would be in line wanting to use it if they brought their own lunch, so you could be waiting in line for a good 10+ minutes.
My mom packed one of those macaroni cup things. And I don't even know how I got so distracted but I was talking to somebody as I put the bowl in the microwave, not realizing I didn't fill it with water first. As I'm talking, I hear this loud popping sound and black smoke just comes flying out of the microwave and it fills the whole cafeteria. It smelled so bad. The inside of the microwave was all scorched. Luckily, the cafeteria is separate from the actual building, but safe to say that I ate nothing that day and kind of just sat in silence while everybody was glaring at me.
TLDR- don't forget to add water to your macaroni bowl.
https://redd.it/1ny6cxt
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by looking in my husband’s wallet
For background, my marriage is already basically over. We were on the rocks for years until last spring when I (48f) discovered my husband (47m) had, among other things, begun cheating on me again and I finally said no more. Divorce is going to happen but I haven’t been able to move forward due to financial reasons. For the time being we are still living together kinda like passing roommates and only ever really talk about superficial stuff, if at all.
He got fired from his job about 3 months ago and has not gotten any replacement as far as I can tell. Over the years I have had to assume most of the bills already and we do not have a joint bank account so for the most part it hasn’t affected my life. As for him, he had no savings to speak of so I have no idea how he has paid for anything in that time. I suspect he cashed out his 401k but it couldn’t have been more than a few thousand.
This morning before I left for work I saw his wallet and got hit with a little punch of grief. I picked it up to look at where my picture used to be and I noticed a folded up receipt from a pawn shop for a men’s gold ring. He doesn’t have a lot of jewelry that I know of and I can’t help assuming it was his wedding ring.
I don’t know how to feel about this. Divorce is definitely going to happen so I guess it doesn’t matter but it still makes me feel sick. Clearly he didn’t care enough about me or his vows to keep from sleeping around so why should he care about a hunk of metal? I believe he is a covert narcissist (my unprofessional opinion) and has never done sentimental attachment but it just feels so cold. The symbol of a union that nearly lasted a quarter century traded for $375 to a pawn shop.
TL;DR- I think my STBX pawned his wedding ring
https://redd.it/1ny4v0t
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by holding a bucket for a horse the wrong way
TIFU: I'm no fancy high-roller horse girl. I work hard and play hard. Part of that means doing the jobs you don't really think about, like catching your horses piss in a bucket cause you don't want your boy to wee in a beautifully manicured clean bed. Sounds simple enough, right? Lean over, hold the bucket, let nature take its course.
Wrong.
Like clockwork after a ride my guy decides it's time to unload Niagara Falls, and I've scrambled for the bucket an leaned in close. The stream hits the bucket at the perfect angle, ricochets like it's obeying some cruel law of physics, and suddenly I'm being baptised in warm, steaming horse urine. Right in the eyes, and my thankfully closed mouth. But horse hasn’t finished yet... Grin and bear it until he’s done and wipe down.
So yeah. Today I fucked up. Lesson learned: when you’re holding a bucket under a horse, watch the angle, angles matter. It’s fucking physics
TLDR; watch the bucket angels or you’ll get horse piss in your face
https://redd.it/1ny0xhr
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by trying to save time with a “genius ” keyboard shortcut
I was rushing through emails this morning and remembered that CTRL + Enter sends the message. What I didn’t know is that in our system ALT + S also instantly sends without warning. I discovered this right after typing a long angry draft about a vendor who has been messing up shipments. I hadn’t even finished the sentence, it literally ended with “these people are completely incomp..” and boom, off it went.
Spent the next hour trying to decide whether to send a follow-up apology, pretend it was a technical glitch, or just embrace the fact that my true feelings are now in their inbox forever. On the bright side, they responded unusually fast and very politely.
TL;DR: Accidentally sent an unfinished rant email to a vendor because I hit the wrong shortcut key.
https://redd.it/1nxsbqr
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by microwaving an egg at work
I was running late and didn’t have time for breakfast, so I grabbed a boiled egg from the fridge and figured I’d heat it up a little at the office. My brain completely forgot that you’re not supposed to microwave eggs that still have the shell on.
I set the timer for thirty seconds. At about twenty, it exploded like a firecracker. Pieces of egg hit the ceiling. The smell was instant. Burnt sulfur mixed with sadness. Everyone came running thinking something caught fire.
My boss walked in holding his coffee, looked at the mess, and just said “who microwaved a bomb.” The entire kitchen smelled like fart for the rest of the day. The janitor refused to clean it, said whoever caused it needed to. So I spent my lunch scraping egg off the wall while people filmed me for the company group chat.
TLDR: I forgot basic physics and made my entire office smell like a demon’s breakfast.
https://redd.it/1nzmcot
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU took the term baby shower literally
I'm from Eastern Europe, a country where there's no such tradition. I'm currently in the US, and my friend was throwing a baby shower for her cousin. I didn't think to google what it was and assumed she'd already given birth. So, I thought it's some weird American tradition where you have to bathe a baby for the first time. I thought it was really weird, but I didn't ask because I didn't want to be rude. I brought some baby shower gel as a gift, thinking I was doing everything right, but then I came home and saw she was pregnant 😭🙏 I had a 404 error in my brain, and now her relatives are making fun of me.
I really thought it was like you come and they bathe the baby for the first time, symbolizing the beginning of something or milestone, but I didn't understand why they would invite a bunch of people, including those you don't know.
TL;DR: I took the "baby shower" literally and now my friend's relatives are laughing at me. I feel extremely dumb
https://redd.it/1nzjp2k
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by accidentally locking myself in a public bathroom
So today I stopped at a gas station during a long road trip to go use the bathroom. It was one of those single person ones with those heavy metal doors. I finished up, washed my hands and went I went to leave the lock jammed. I then tried everything, wiggling the handle, pulling and tried kicking the door a little. And it wouldn’t budge. I could hear people coming and going outside but I don’t think anyone could hear me calling out. After what felt like forever of trying and panicking I called my friend, who was waiting in the car, to come get the attendant. The guy shows up, gives the lock one twist and it opens instantly. He looked at me like I was the dumbest human alive lol. I just said thanks and walked out red faced while another customer tried not to laugh. Honestly it’s a decent gas station but i don’t think i’m ever using the bathroom there again.
TL;DR: Got stuck in a gas station bathroom, had to be rescued by the attendant who opened it effortlessly.
https://redd.it/1nzh546
@r_channels_tifu
virus, vomiting, having explosive diarrhea, and utterly humiliated, while he recovered just fine.
Has anyone ever tried to help someone sick and ended up catching it themselves? Share your horror stories—I need to know I’m not alone in surviving something so cruel.
https://redd.it/1nz6ndv
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by leaving my phone unsecured while at the beach
So I was at the beach while visiting Miami. Gone to the water to swim and came back to see my backpack with everything including my phone is gone. I looked around walked up and down the beach asking and nope its stolen. My phone with all my banking info, google accounts, ect. I spent the entire next day begging for money to buy a cheap one from Walmart and now sitting in a motel parking lot trying to get access to my google account with no success. No Uber, Expedia, no Airbnb or money ect. i don't know anybody here in Miami and honestly at a lost of what I should do. The bank opens tomorrow and I should be able to get a new card and get access to my account but still have no idea how to get on my plane without Expedia.
TLDR gone swimming and got phone stolen, stranded in Miami
https://redd.it/1nz55qr
@r_channels_tifu
Now I don’t know what to do.
https://redd.it/1nz0vkw
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by never eating a real Kiwi
When I was a kid I was a huge fan of strawberry flavored things. Once I tried a drink that was strawberry kiwi since they didn't have just strawberry and it was just awful. It was way too sweet and very artificial tasting. My young brain decided that it was because it was kiwi and kiwi was gross. So I've lived my life thinking kiwi was just not something I really cared for.
However recently I was watching a comedian who mentioned she had stomach problems her whole life and her mom kept telling her to eat kiwi (with the peel) for just as long, even as she was leaving home to go overseas her mom mentioned eating kiwi to help her stomach. Then she saw a doctor on tiktok who recommended it for the same reason and she decided to give in and just eat the damn kiwi. And it actually worked and helped her stomach issues. I had been having a lot of bloating and stomach pain recently and while at the store decided "What the hell?" And bought a kiwi just to see if it would help. So I got home and bit into the kiwi (with the peel) and it blew my mind. It was SO flavorful and tart and delicious that I ate the whole thing in just a few minutes. Which isn't hard to do since they're small. I absolutely loved the flavor and texture and now I just want to go buy like 15 kiwis. So for nearly 30 years of life I haven't eaten kiwi because I tried it once in a drink and didn't like it, and turns out I actually love kiwi.
I know this isn't very exciting but this has totally broadened my horizons. Also it did work. Shortly after eating it my stomach pain eased significantly and now I feel way better. Try things even if you think you don't like them, you never know when you're going to change and realize it's something you love.
Tl;Dr: decided I didn't like kiwi as a kid and never questioned it, now it's one of my favorite fruit and actually helped my stomach problems.
https://redd.it/1nz0fw6
@r_channels_tifu
TIFU by waking up 5 minutes late
I'll start by saying that obviously waking up 5 minutes late isn't the main thing, but it started the snowball.
As with many stories here, this one didn't actually happen today, but a week ago. So on that day I woke up at 4:35am instead of my normal 4:30, which eventually delayed by departure for work which is normally between 5:00 - 5:05 but on that day it was at 5:10. My commute takes me about 45-50 minutes to the grocery store I work at and I arrive around 10 minutes before my 6am shift starts. Now every day we have a morning briefing that starts at 6:05 ish, and normally I get out of my car, get my stuff out, stick an earbud in to finish listening whatever I was listening to during my drive, clock in and go into the store's backroom for the briefing. Since that day I was being a bit late I walked in just as briefing started so I had to take my earbud out really quickly and put it onto one of the trolleys that were there.
Here I am going to take a small pause to explain what my job involves. As should be understood from the text above I work at a grocery store, in which I push around a trolley all day with 6 inserted trays and pick stuff that needs to go for delivery. That's pretty much it.
Now back to the story. When the morning briefing ended, everyone started to walk to get a trolley and I suddenly remember about my earbud, I tried to find it on the trolley, but couldn't. I've spent a few moments looking for it but then being pressured by the start of the actual working process, I dismissed it thinking "I must've put it into one of my pockets or something like that and forgotten." So for half of my trip around the store I was constantly sticking hands in and out of my pockets trying to find the earbud, and by the time I realised that I've lost it the trolley that I put it on was already gone and same as all other ones was travelling somewhere around the store. I quickly ran back into the backroom and explained the situation to my supervisor and asked her to check the trollies when they return and let me know if she finds anything. With the time flowing there was no findings and all trollies have been checked, whilst I was growing more and more upset, aggressive and was generally losing my shit. At some point I just threw my water bottle on the ground with force and kicked a trolley (luckily no one said anything as I guess everyone understood why I was upset so much). Here it is important to say that I've bought the earbuds just the day before, and it has barely been 12 hours since I unpacked them. Nevertheless I've spent my 30 minute break running around the store and double checking all of the trolleys instead of actually resting, and despite the iPhone find my app connecting to the earbud several times I couldn't find it. When my break was over I basically said farewell to the earbud thinking that I'll never see again and started stressing over how much I'll have to pay Apple for a replacement one. A few hours later I got a notification from find my app telling me that the location has been updated, and I saw that it was in a nearby town. I sort of calmed down and got on with the rest of my shift thinking that it must've fell into one of the trays and got delivered to one of our customers with their groceries. I've told about my findings to my supervisor and we agreed that we'll find the customer's phone number and phone them at the end of my shift. Fast forward to the end of my shift and I am sitting next to my supervisor and we're looking for that address in the list of deliveries. And the funny thing is that there hasn't been a delivery to that address that day. Having not found anything I decided that I'd just go there and try my luck talking to people. When I got there I knocked on the address that the earbud appeared to be at, but the lady that opened the door said that didn't get any deliveries and directed me to neighbours that does get deliveries. I went to them, they had no clue about anything and they didn't get a delivery either. So I've spent around 30 minutes
TIFU by realizing I'm not a wimp, just allergic and could have died.
So, I'm a 29-year-old guy from a Mexican family where if a food doesn't make you sweat, it's not a real meal. I’ve always been the odd one out. My tolerance for spice is basically zero, and I've accepted my role as the family lightweight.
My thing has always been Salsa Verde. Every single time I ate it, my lips would get a little puffy and tingly. It wasn't like, scary swollen, but it was noticeable. I just thought, "Okay, cool. This is what a 'mild' spice feels like for a wimp like me." It was my normal. I'd just take a Benadryl if it felt a bit more intense than usual and get on with my day.
The big plot twist happened last Sunday at a family BBQ. We're all eating tacos, and I slather on the Salsa Verde. Within a few minutes, I feel the familiar puff-up starting.
I nudged my sister and said, "Whoa, this green salsa has a real kick today. My lip is already getting fat."
She looked at my mouth, then back at the salsa, and started laughing. "Dude, that's not a 'kick.' Your lip is actually swelling. Mom didn't put any chiles in that. It's just the tomatillo and onion stuff."
The whole table got quiet and just stared at my face. My mom's eyes got huge.
"Mijo," she said, "that's not spice! You're allergic! You've been having a reaction this whole time and just calling it 'spicy'?"
It finally clicked. For 29 years, I thought my puffy lip was a sign of my weak constitution. Turns out, my body was just having a low-key allergic meltdown to a totally normal ingredient. I wasn't a wimp; I was just unknowingly dosing myself with an allergen and treating it with Benadryl.
So yeah. I'm not bad with spice. I'm just allergic to the family's "safe" sauce. I've got an appointment to figure out what exactly hates me, but for now, the jokes at my expense are absolutely relentless.
TL;DR: For my whole life, I thought getting a puffy lip from Salsa Verde was a normal reaction to mild spice. My family finally figured out I'm just allergic. I've been casually treating my allergic reactions with Benadryl thinking I was just spice-intolerant. I fear I could have died at some point if not for the benadryl.
https://redd.it/1nyh9e7
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TIFU by going through passport control when I didn’t need to
I had a flight to a neighbour country in Europe. I was in a bit of a rush, nothing bad - and my gate was right next to passport control on the right. It even said my gate number next to the border control. In a slight rush and first time solo-traveling, I was a bit confused but still went through automated passport control and went through to the otherside only to notice my gate was gone and it was actually on the otherside of this big wall called ”border control” -
I find a security guard and say I need to get to the other side because I got confused and accidently thought my gate was here. He said it is absolutely not possible to return. I said my flight leaves soon and it was an accident, I’m flying to a neighbour country. So… he thinks long, speaks with other guards and border control (everyone is extremely pissed at me and saying this is a mistake that cannot be made) and takes me through long alleys and says I need to go through passport control again (where they were very fussy with me and not understanding how this happened) - exit the airport, come in the airport again, go through security etc. again and very likely miss your flight - and so I started running - running like crazy for multiple kilometers and suprisingly sitting in my seat now in the aircraft and of course - feeling like an idiot.
TL;DR: TIFU by almost missing my flight because I went through border control without having to actually do it and almost wasn’t allowed to return
https://redd.it/1nyehlf
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TIFU by telling my daughter needles can be used to treat fleas
I'll start off by admitting this didn't happen today. Another story I read reminded me of it. When one of kids was about 9, her and her cousin were walking the 4 blocks home when they walked by a house that had a needle in a bush. My niece picked it up and my daughter told her to put it down and when she didn't, my daughter tried to take it from her and got poked by it. They both came into the house in tears. When they told me, I obviously had a good idea what the needle was for and was very concerned about possible bloodborne pathogens. For some stupid reason I thought she must be worried about that too because why else would she be this upset and scared about getting poked. Where I f'ed up... I told her that it's ok, and she'll be ok. There are many different reasons to use a needle and it's probably from someone who needed to give their dog a shot for fleas or something else and we would go straight to the Dr to see what we need to do. She's inconsolable and I am freaking out a bit myself too, my daughter got poked by a needle that someone likely used for drugs.
We get to urgent care and the Dr sees her and requests labs and says that it's highly unlikely that anything will come of this. We had a lengthy discussion of concerns I had, and my own anxiety starts to settle. My daughter stops crying and asks the Dr "so I won't get fleas?" The Dr and I look at each other and both stifle a laugh as my daughter explains that at first she was upset that she got poked but then I started talking about how the needle could have been used to treat fleas and she really didn’t want to get them...
(We had a long conversation about how to handle someone picking up something dangerous and how the last thing you want to do is try to wrestle it away from them.)
TL;DR: After my daughter got poked by a used needle, I told her it could have been used to treat fleas.
https://redd.it/1ny8o24
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TIFU by letting my “helpful” coworker manipulate my research and almost ruining my project
So this really all started a few months ago when I got a rare opportunity to work on a research project with a senior member of my lab. He’s normally super kind and funny, and honestly I admired his knowledge. At first, everything was fine, he’d joke, give advice, and I thought we were just friends. But slowly he started asking me to do little favors, like proofreading things for him constantly or covering for him in minor tasks. I didn’t think much of it at first, but it escalated. Soon, I was spending hours doing extra work he asked for under the guise of “helping me get experience,” but it was really just him leaning on me. The worst part was that I didn’t realize how much it was affecting my own research progress. One day, I had a major deadline, and he casually reminded me of all the favors I hadn’t done yet and how I “owed” him. That’s when I realized I had completely let him manipulate my time, and I almost missed submitting my project. I felt like an idiot for letting someone so nice quietly pressure me into prioritizing him over myself.
TLDR Trusted a sweet, senior coworker who slowly manipulated my workload; almost missed a major project deadline because I let him take advantage.
https://redd.it/1ny5nby
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TIFU by eating a yummy desert
Hi, so, crucial backstory is that a few weeks ago i got some sort of flu, for which i was put on antibiotics. These antibiotics ended up fucking me over more than they helped. They made me shit my actual guts out, and the probiotic yogurts i was taking weren't doing shit.
Fast forward to my checkup after the antibiotics, doc said i should stop them and put me on probiotic pills, activated charcoal and low fiber diet for the upcoming two weeks.The low fiber diet really bummed me out because i live off vegetables but i managed to go around 7 days on pretty plain food.
The past few days i've been slowly eating some veggies, just 'cause you can't keep me away for too long, and my stool had gone back to normal.
Now, to the part i fucked up. My dear roomate made a delicious crumble dessert with hommade jam. Hommade prune jam. And one thing that i love more than veggies is my sugar, so for the past 3 days i've been eating that shit morning, noon and night, and if anyone knows anything about prunes, they know i shouldn't be fucking doing that. Not on a normal stomach, let alone on one that's healing and that's been living off straight carbs until then.
Today, it's when it finally happened. I was at the store doing some shopping, and the horns of God started up in my bowels. I'm talking i was trying not to embarrass myself in front of the grocery clerks i see every damn week but i can't keep the damn gas in. By the time i reached my elevator i was folded in two, feeling like my body could and would betray me any second. Luckily, i got home on time and since then i've been on and off the damn toilet like i'm back at square one. Still solid poop, but the damn thing is full of undigested food and i know it won't be long until the liquid shit is back. (Just let out the stinkiest fart while writing this, foreshadowing that it's not over.)
TL;DR: Ate a shit-ton (no pun intended) of prune crumble dessert after a being on a strict low fiber diet and now my bowels are putting me in a SAW trap.
EDIT: TIFU 2.0 by not being a native English speaker and using "desert" instead of "dessert"
https://redd.it/1ny3qfi
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TIFU by trying to fix my own sink before my landlord’s visit.
So this morning I noticed my kitchen sink was draining really slowly. My landlord had already told me he was coming over later in the afternoon to check the place, so I thought I’d impress him by fixing it myself. I watched a quick YouTube video about unclogging sinks and thought, How hard can it be?
Well, turns out, pretty hard. I took the pipes apart under the sink, and when I twisted the wrong valve, dirty water started spraying everywhere. I panicked, tried to shove the pipe back, and dropped my phone straight into the water. Then, in a rush to stop the mess, I slipped on the floor, hit my elbow on the counter, and somehow managed to unplug the fridge.
By the time my landlord arrived, the kitchen looked like a disaster zone. He opened the door stared for a solid ten seconds, and just said, Next time… call me first. I was soaked bleeding slightly, and trying to smile like nothing happened.
Now I have a broken pipe a wet phone and a bruised ego.
TL;DR: Tried to fix my sink before my landlord came, ended up flooding the kitchen, soaking my phone, and embarrassing myself.
https://redd.it/1nxta6m
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TIFU by making a "that's what she said" joke.
This isn't too big of a story I'm ngl to you, but it's 3 am and I'm regretting life so why not share. Ps I'm sorry for bad grammar, it's 3 am and I'm Abt to sleep.
I(f14) am on a wrestling team with this kid named Dan (fake name and he's in 5th grade.) Dan is going through the classic "that's what she said" phase where every 5 seconds is a new joke. Now, I've been going through this phase for a while and I tend to mumble "that's what she said" to myself.
So, basically you have a kid who understands what people are saying, along with me, a teenager who knows too many that's what she said jokes.
How is that important you may be wondering? Well, we were lifting weights and Dan decided to use one of those weight bars. He got an attachment that's velcro (I think I'm spelling that Right?) Dan said "We need to keep it strapped on." My dumbass... Forgetting my surroundings mumbled "that's what she said" to myself.
I'm used to people with hearing loss and I have it myself so I probably said it loud enough to be noticable. Because this kid... This kid says "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" The whole gym glanced over and my heart stopped.
I just walked away from him ofc, as I didn't want to be the one to explain. But I'm still slightly worried about him asking his dad (the coach) or sister (another girl on the team.)
TL;DR: A fifth grader on my wrestling team added an attachment to his weight lifting bar and said "we need to keep it strapped on." My stupid self mumbled "that's what she said" to myself a little too loud making the fifth grader ask what I meant. Now I'm scared of getting outed or asked again.
https://redd.it/1nxpfuo
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