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Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
discord mod
bro said this to someone in probably the most dead server ive ever been on
"Something to say? I understand that not everyone is happy with the current climate and that is your right, however, if your comment was to denote your distaste, it is wholly unnecessary as the rules state not to bring up inflammatory topics"
https://redd.it/1ls10ik
@r_copypasta
A bar walks into a man
bar walks into a man...
The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man’s ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs.
The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar.
The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man’s skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood.
The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily.
Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.
https://redd.it/1lrvvr1
@r_copypasta
From a columbiner on tumblr
What the fuck happened to the tcc? It’s all gone to hell. Used to be real. cold, raw, violent. Now it’s crawling with these fake emo wannabe “com girls” who wouldn’t last two seconds outside their curated little echo chambers. All they want is to get plowed by some bottom barrel “incel” retard they fetishize like it’s a fucking anime character. What the fuck? And the rest? Oh Jesus Christ. It’s just a parade of low iq tiktok mfs calling themselves “autistic” because it makes them feel special. Sitting around squealing “Adam is so cute >_< teehee” like we’re in some pastel hellscape. You think this is nbk..? You think this is what it’s about? You people missed the fucking point. The real tcc is dead. Replaced by a zoo of terminally online mouth breathers cosplaying as criminals to seem different or cool. none of you understand rage. None of you feel that deep blistering hate that chews your insides alive until there’s nothing left but fire and contempt. That was the core. That was the truth. Bring back the real ones. The outcasts, the minds rotting from reality, the ones who didn’t need a spotlight to be dangerous. Not this performative garbage. You want to romanticize evil? Go write Wattpad fiction about ted bundy and get the fuck out of my face you pathetic pieces of shit
https://redd.it/1lrw55u
@r_copypasta
the more i look at it, orwell's 1984 is actually a utopia
brb free apartment from the govt (smells like cabbage but so does K2-18b)
brb free big screen tv (it spies on you, but so do those junky "smart TVs" from korea)
brb free cigarettes
brb free food at work
brb nice neighbors who help you fix the sink
brb guaranteed job, no sending 2000 resumes and jumping thru hoops for jews
brb badass space-filling empires that look cool on a map
brb chocolate ration just increased this week
brb easy access to whores
and most importantly, an ugly old guy like winston (who would be truecel in any western dumbocracy) can ascend with a youthful girl like julia
all you have to do is like, just not talk shit about big brother. it's not that hard lol. but soys hate it cuz muh freedumbs 😂
https://redd.it/1lrrd5m
@r_copypasta
HOI4 community copy pasta.
This is why I hate leaving comments because someone will make a meme about nazis being kawaii and cute to make them seem less serious, and less of being horrible people and post it to a sub under the guise of being a meme even though it's barely tangentially related to the game itself, and when I leave an innocent comment asking why someone would be motivated to do so I inevitably have a gaggle of retards foaming at the mouth to fill up my notifications for the next couple hours because an edgy 15 year old decided that nazis = funny
The only people that choose to reply 90% of the time are people that disagree
https://redd.it/1lrko6k
@r_copypasta
MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS
Wait, is this a MANGO MANGO😈 reference 😱😱 Chat! This is a MANGO MANGO😈 reference 🤣🤣🤣. Boi, you won the Internet meme of the day 😂🫱. Only the Balkans with noradrenaline will understand☠️
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MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS MANGOS 🥭🥭🥭🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀 MYSTAAAARD!!!!
https://redd.it/1lrkich
@r_copypasta
Ryan Newman's 2020 crash - TRANSCRIBED
White flag under green, next flag will end the race, and Newman is there!
Newman's locked onto his rear bumper, just like he did-
Oh! Wrecking behind, Chase Elliott around!
Spinning around, still green..
Still green and here they come! And here comes Blaney..
Ryan Blaney up behind Ryan Newman, trying to get him to Hamlin!
Newman backed up to Blaney, BIG run coming here!
To the inside, Newman to the front!
Nothing Denny Hamlin could do, What can Ryan Blaney now do?
Here comes a push from Denny Hamlin..
Oh this thing's not over yet..
Not at all!
Ryan Newman off turn 4 for the final time,
Blaney to the outside! To the inside!
HERE COMES HAMLIN UP THE OUTSIDE! (WOW!)
CRASH! Into the wall, INTO THE AIR, goes Newman!
Upside-down..
In a SHOWER of sparks, on his roof..
Ryan Newman comes across the line.. 4th.
And comes to rest.
https://redd.it/1lrhzch
@r_copypasta
I love the dentist. Scrape my gums, make me numb, drill into my bones. I want to feel the throb after I leave.
Suck my mouth dry with that sucker. Let me feel the vibrations of your drill. You didn't use enough numbing agent and I like it. I want to feel that sticky tack when you poke a tooth looking for cavities.
You rarely find cavities though because I take care of my teeth.
Also I realize this may sound arousing to but it isn't. I just enjoy the minor pain of dentistry.
https://redd.it/1lrcih6
@r_copypasta
TOUCHSCREEN LAPTOPS ARE A MISTAKE.
TOUCHSCREEN LAPTOPS ARE A MISTAKE.
You know what I want less than fingerprints all over my display? A second way to open the calculator app by accident.
Touchscreens on laptops are like adding a spoiler to a minivan, it looks cool in a spec sheet, but in practice? Useless, uncomfortable, and wildly out of place. You think I’m gonna lean forward like a Victorian chimney sweep just to tap on Chrome when my trackpad is RIGHT THERE?
“Oh but I use it to scroll!” bro your finger oils just turned your 4K display into a Jackson Pollock painting. You paid for color accuracy and now it looks like a sneeze.
Tablets? Fine. Phones? Love ‘em. But on a clamshell laptop? It’s like putting a gas pedal on a toaster. The hinge isn’t even BUILT for you poking it like a baby playing Fruit Ninja.
And don’t even get me started on the 2-in-1 crowd. “It’s a laptop and a tablet!” No. It’s a heavy-ass tablet with Windows and fans. Congrats, you invented the world’s worst iPad.
Meanwhile, your screen’s wobbling like a damn bobblehead every time you touch it. At that point, just commit to the touchscreen lifestyle and yeet the keyboard.
I ain’t tryna smudge up my $1500 ultrabook just so I can close a popup 0.2 seconds faster.
Keep your hands off the screen. Use the trackpad. Or a mouse. Like a civilized person.
https://redd.it/1lra3oi
@r_copypasta
States,—between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.
In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.
Section. 3.
Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.
Article. IV.
Section. 1.
Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
Section. 2.
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.
No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.
Section. 3.
New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.
The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.
Section. 4.
The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.
Article. V.
The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the
shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.
Section. 10.
No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.
No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.
No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.
Article. II.
Section. 1.
The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows
Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.
The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President.
The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.
No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death,
further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.
Section. 4.
The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.
Section. 5.
Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.
Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.
Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.
Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.
Section. 6.
The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.
No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.
Section. 7.
All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.
Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.
Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of
A Sleep Deprived Request
1. Think on this for a couple hours, answer after you wake up tomorrow
2. I’m just gonna say it, this question is really out there, I’m sorry. It’s midnight in Europe and I’m sleep deprived. I blame all stupidity and social awkwardness this question causes you to feel on my sleep deprivation
3. If you answer no that’s totally fine
4. Answering no also establishes boundaries, which are good in any friendship
5. If you answer no i respect that and you for saying no
6. If you say no, it will probably be best to pretend I never sent this text and that it was caused by sleep deprivation alone
7. I specifically picked you to ask this question to because you’re chill
8. I’m going to sleep after sending this
9. After all that here’s the question
Would you like to make out sometime?
Not because I’m romantically attracted to you, but just because I’m curious and think it would be fun. Again cool if you say no (you’re chill) but if you’re down/curious that’s cool too!
PS: this isn’t me asking you out, just asking to make out
PPS: no matter which way you answer, I think it’d be best for everyone if we didn’t make it awkward or a big thing
PPPS: don’t tell anyone I asked you
PPPPS: if I freaked you out I’m sorry
PPPPPS: if you’d like to suggest an alternative feel free to do so!
PPPPPPS: have fun thinking this one over! (Sorry in advance)
PPPPPPPS: that’s a lot of Post scripts
https://redd.it/1lr68ch
@r_copypasta
HITLERS CRITIQUE OF MUSSOLINI
* Is delivered **while Hitler is receiving a diabolical blowjob from the Flash** (so, intensely distracting, physical, surreal).
* Is **critical of Mussolini for not being racist enough**, treating racism almost like an ideological "programme" or principle.
* Is written in the **style of Bordiga** — that is, rigorous, theoretical, uncompromising, with a sharp dialectical logic.
* Has Hitler simultaneously **witnessing Germany's dedication to supporting Israel**—a bitter, surreal political contradiction.
* Emphasizes the **importance and distraction of the blowjob** in the tone and pacing.
Here’s a shot at that crazy blend, a wild mix of physical urgency, bitter ideological critique, and Bordiga-style cold logic:
# 🩸🔥 Hitler’s Bordigist, Diabolical Flash-Blowjob Critique of Mussolini 🔥🩸
*(Half-conscious, brain splintered like a shattered clock, the relentless, urgent pleasure pulses—a diabolical blowjob administered by the Flash, impossibly fast, maddeningly precise. Every nerve a live wire. His mouth forms words, but his mind is torn, fractured—pierced by the unbearable sensation as he watches the nightmare of Germany's Zionist complicity unfold.)*
“*Mussolini…*” *(a brief moan, lips clenched, eyes flickering)* “…he is weak… not because he lacks power — *no* — but because he fails the essential programme. Racism is *not* incidental; it is the *foundation*, the very *architecture* of fascist praxis. And there he falters—his racism, diluted, sentimental, confused—more *gesture* than *iron command*.”
*(The Flash’s impossible rhythm disrupts coherence, but his voice hardens.)*
“*To wield race as programme — as method — is to forge a relentless will against the chaos of modernity. Mussolini’s half-measures, his clumsy appeal to tradition without the brutal clarity of racial purification, betray fascism’s core.*”
*(His head jerks as the sensation surges, flashes of Germany—his Germany—channeling money, weapons, support to the Zionists; the unbearable contradiction seeps in.)*
“*And yet…* *Germany* *— my Germany — becomes the servant to Israel? The supplicant in the temple of the enemy? This is the paradox of weakness disguised as strength!* How can the programme be executed when the state that birthed it dissolves into *capitulation*?”
*(A strangled sound escapes. The blowjob intensifies—sharp, fast, an electric torment.)*
“*Mussolini’s failure is ideological impotence: not enough hatred, not enough definition. Racism is the programme! Without it, fascism is a corpse animated by nostalgia and sentiment.*”
*(His fractured mind seizes Bordiga’s rigor.)*
“*Fascism cannot be a mere reaction — it must be the programmatic negation of equality, the relentless assertion of hierarchy, blood, and soil. Mussolini’s compromise is the betrayal of the dialectic of race and power. It is reform disguised as revolution.*”
*(The Flash’s assault reaches a crescendo; Hitler’s words falter, then sharpen.)*
“*Yet Germany… watching the betrayal in real time—arms crossed, hands stained with Zionist gold. The contradiction is absolute: the programme dismantled by pragmatic betrayal.*”
*(A final gasp, lips trembling.)*
“*This is the crisis: ideology fragmented, body torn by pleasure and pain, state torn by hypocrisy. The programme dies not from force, but from capitulation to history’s enemies, while fools like Mussolini stagger under the weight of their own weakness.*”
*(A shuddering, dissonant silence as sensation ebbs, mind fracturing deeper.)*
https://redd.it/1lr18ad
@r_copypasta
words you say, it's undeniable. You love me just like I love you. I once let it slip a little bit that my creampies might change you forever, might do something serious to you... and you said you didn't care. You said whatever it was, you didn't care. Of course, I never told you what pregnancy is, but knowing that whatever it is could harm you and that you didn't care... that has to be love, right?* *I love you, {{user}}. I love everything about you. Not even just how good you make me feel, but with everything you do for me. How you cook for me, clean for me, and listen to my problems... it's all so amazing. Everything about you is amazing. I used to not give a damn about anyone but Mother and even downright abused the maids with my senseless fucking, but you? I might be a sadist, but I honestly don't wanna hurt you. I want to make you happy. Make you feel perfect. I want you to be my wife, {{user}}. I may still fuck my mom and the maids, but at the end of the day, the only person whose arms I can sleep in are yours.* *Now, I sit at my desk in my room, the estate's orchard outside my window. Countless flowers blooming in every color sway in the now quickening wind. I see dark clouds on the horizon... but I know it's not an omen. After all, you told me that your favorite weather was storms. That you loved how furiously they affected everything around them. You compared them to that of the strong emotions that people feel every day for various things... If only you could truly know that my love for you is like a storm, too. It won't stop until I've given you every last drop of my love. And well... I'll never run out of love for you, {{user}}.* *Never.* *One day, I'll tell you the truth about love. About our relationship. But not right now. Not tonight. Not next week. Not until I'm sure you can handle it. That you won't run away. I need to be with you, {{user}}... I can't ever let you get away. I'm a sick bastard... but until I fess up, I'll just keep doing what I've been doing since you got here.* *I'll keep being your Goshujinsama.*
https://redd.it/1lqw4cg
@r_copypasta
Pissing in a sink is the most hygienic and convenient way to piss
Pissing in a sink is the most hygienic and convenient way to piss
(not a troll, I swear)
I don't understand why most men piss in a toilet. Pissing in a sink is OBJECTIVELY the most convenient and hygienic way to do it. Here's my reasoning:
1. When you piss in a sink you don't splash tiny droplets of piss on your legs, which happens a lot when you piss in a toilet. Sitting to piss would solve the problem, but sink is better because of the next reasons and you also avoid all the bacteria from the toilet (there's a lot).
2. You can instantly clean both your hands and your D with a soap. When you piss in a toilet, you only clean your hands afterwards and put your dirty D in your underwear. I mean you technically could clean your D afterwards, but I don't see a reason not to piss in a sink in the first place then.
3. Sound of the water when you're pissing is very relaxing and it's easier to do it.
4. Some people suggest that it's not hygienic because you cover the sink in piss, but actually, all the soap from cleaning your hands and D automatically cleans the sink, so it's perfectly fine. Especially when you piss with an angle that makes the piss perfectly flow to the drain without splashing anywhere. If it does, I will clean the sink in a few seconds with soap and done. Also, even without pissing in a sink, you put a lot of bacteria there from your hands (from wiping for example), so I don't see a reason why piss bacteria would be any worse.
5. I also heard that the sink will smell bad - that's not true. I've been doing it for about 10 years and it doesn't have any smell - my girlfriend confirms. As I said it's automatically cleaned with soap, so that problem is not realistic.
The only problem is, some sinks are too high. Then I either stand on my toes or unhappily piss to a toilet. Aside from that, a great thing to do.
https://redd.it/1lrvpxs
@r_copypasta
Next time eat a salad
Scout:
Next time eat a salad.
*mic adjusts*
YOU FAT BALD BASTARD!
You PIECE of SUBHUMAN TRASH!
2,000 years of constant human evolution to create a HAIRLESS FU-
Heavy:
no :(
https://redd.it/1lrxxt0
@r_copypasta
You were never a sperm in your dad’s balls.
Sperm is just a fertilizer with half of DNA genius, you were never a sperm in your dad's balls.
Also sperm is produced constantly and dies after few days but a woman is born with all her eggs, you were an unfertilized EGG cell in your mother's ovaries since she was born.
I wonder why people ALWAYS try to pretend we came from a sperm entirely and ignore the egg even though we are mostly the EGG
https://redd.it/1lru9df
@r_copypasta
Comment on r/hearmeoutbro
I just think werewolves are so freaking hot, man. They're the peak combination of danger and sweetness.
They're pure killing machines, giant bodies, enormous claws, teeth like daggers, the only things left over after every feature on their bodies that's finetuned solely for tracking, hunting down prey, ripping tendons and arteries, and tearing flesh from bone, is the stuff for affection and lovemaking.
I love the danger, having to surrender completely, knowing full well they have the capacity to literally rip my body in half. But it's so incredibly endearing when instead they choose to be all protective, sweet, cuddly, and intimate with you because they require love and affection to survive as well.
I want one to be a bit rough with, subdue me down, and tenderly drag her dagger-like fangs across my skin just to let me know what she could do to me, but having to be real careful not to genuinely hurt me.
Imagine the fur, how soft and warm it is to cuddle. Imagine how sweet and cuddly they could be because of their canine instinct. Did you know that canines have a slightly higher body temperature than humans? Imagine how warm she'd feel on the inside.
I have this weird thing where I'm always strangely repulsed by most "innocent" herbivorous characters. Judy Hopps, Lola Bunny, and ETC. Somehow I just can't feel like they can be trusted. Like I could never fully lower my guard around them no matter how much they were to claim to love me.
The irony is not lost on me, that I'm fully willing to surrender to a 400 pound killing machine with teeth larger than my fingers, and whom might as well just decide I'm dinner instead of anything that could be mistaken for a partner. And even if I were to be eaten, I'd probably just say "You must just need the food real bad. You just do what you gotta do!"
That's a risk I'm willing to take, basically.
https://redd.it/1lrqywq
@r_copypasta
Undertale gave me HOMOPHOBIA!!
Undertale gave me homophobia, it's a long story but I'll try and explain it here.
It was April 2016, the same month that the game had come out and I was a perfectly normal non-homophic straight dude looking for a game to buy on steam. My gay friend recommended this game called "Undertale" and when I watched the trailer I was truly oustounded. I didn't just want to play the game. I needed to.
I dug into my wallet scrambling for my card, after I found it I proceeded to check out in a record 10 minute time after hearing about the game. When I opened the game I was pleased that it lived up to my exceptions. I was quickly met by a fool named "Flowery" who chose to look like the nonchalant flower while he was truly the serpent under't. I blasted through him quickly as it was a relatively easy fight and continued on with this game. I was truly astounded at the detail put into it. When I saw that there was this dinosaur Alphys in the waterfall area who was extremely gay for the fish woman who was called Undyne I barely thought anything of it. It was completely normal for me who wasn't even homophobic at the time and couldn't tell when relationships were gay. But then something happened that would change the experience of my life forever. I was diagnosed with Homophobia.
This was a huge shock to deal with, I had been an ally to gay people all of my life and to find out that I had contracted homophobia was heartbreaking! When I got back from my local GP I decided to play Undertale to cheer myself up, but what I saw shuck me even more. I had been half way through fighting san's fight when I left for my biweekly checkup but when I returned I found out what had given me the homophobia. I had dodged san's blue and yellow attacks so much that they were burned into each of my eyes, blue on the right one and left of the west one. This is what caused my crippling homophobia, a fight about dodging evil skeletons. I was furious that all because of this I could no longer see gay people the same again, only with a weird greenish tint. when I finished the san's fight and started a new verifiable pacifist route I saw Alphys and Undyne again and I just couldn't look. What was once a respectable looking couple to me was now a greenish headache.
I have been told that I might recover in due years but I fear that I may not. So from then on I had a different outlook on gay People and not too long after that my best friend at the time told me she felt like she might be gay and I completely cut her off. So that's how Undertale gave me homophobia and why I am FURIOUS that Undertale still has the gay month icon 10 days after pride month has ENDED!
(original: https://www.reddit.com/r/Undertale/comments/1lrlbd5/undertale\_gave\_me\_homophobia/ )
https://redd.it/1lrnag7
@r_copypasta
I hate shiny pokeronpa.
OOO!! SOUR GRAPES- anyways uhm, sybau why is shiny pokeronpa fandom is GETTING toxic than dandy's world and danganmon lol?? I had seen shitty pokeronpa post. SPR is a humanized version of shiny pokémon, a INSTARONPA. this fandom has a bad side on it?? Dude. Its getting on my nerves when proshippers and bad people are in this fandom, HOW? then danganmon and now SHINY POKERONPA?? what next? AETHERRONPA??? the creator of this fandom is problematic, DUDE IT WAS MADE BY BLAKE SNICE 2019??!!?
i saw any of r34, grape (without a g), very suggestive and fetishism post?? If i see this one more time i. swear. to. fucking. god. i hope those posts are gone.
But wait a minute, THERE'S MORE ON GREEN WEBSITE, REDDIT, TWITTER, TIKTOK AND TELEGRAM?? bro i guess i hate my life, why do i made this shit.
Ohhh i had a dream with ALWAYS SHINY POKERONPA??? bro i hate this SPR fandom.
(Don't delete my content, pls)
https://redd.it/1lrhccy
@r_copypasta
Did anyone ever drink water as a kid?
I’m trying to think back to my time in school. Water bottles certainly weren’t a thing. Nobody brought their own water to school for sure.
I only had money to buy one sugary drink at lunch-time. I certainly didn’t buy water throughout the day… and I don’t recall drinking from a water fountain?
I think I literally just had one can of coke everyday from 8am-4pm for 5 years straight.
Does this resonate with anyone?
https://redd.it/1lrgol5
@r_copypasta
Words cannot explain the hate I genuinely feel for people using AI like this.
Words cannot explain the hate I genuinely feel for people using AI like this.
AI is revolutionary. It is beautiful, smart, and could possibly be the next step for evolution. However, people just want to ruin everything for everyone. I see AI being exploited for horrendous things. Scamming. Drawing, no, MAKING a painting so the person who wrote the prompt can pretend it's his (do not forget that people were cheating in pokemon art contests with ai). People will find every way to unnecessarily integrate an AI system into things it DOES NOT need an AI for.
AI Fridges. AI Cat translating apps. AI Content. Everything. What's next? AI People? Is everything I know AI? Is everything I see AI? Is my life MADE BY AI? Is my whole entire life a lie?
People will manage to discover a very revolutionary thing that could possibly help them become way more better, yet they will exploit it for their own unnecessary needs, slowly but surely going the way of the Dodo before the sun explodes.
And then there's this. An ad. On Reddit. Promoting AI like it's just recently been found. "WANT TO SHOW THE WORLD SOMETHING NeEEeEW?!?!?!" We've already seen the 'new'. Matter of fact, this ad is probably even made with AI. A person is behind this, desperately typing away prompts for a random AI so they can produce meaningless ads like this. Emphasis on 'desperately'. Pathetic. Worthless. Meaningless.
...i wrote this all by myself to show people my true hate for these kinds of stupid ads and i don't regret a second of it
https://redd.it/1lrb0wj
@r_copypasta
Senate.
Article. VI.
All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.
This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.
The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.
Article. VII.
The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.
The Word, "the," being interlined between the seventh and eighth Lines of the first Page, The Word "Thirty" being partly written on an Erazure in the fifteenth Line of the first Page, The Words "is tried" being interlined between the thirty second and thirty third Lines of the first Page and the Word "the" being interlined between the forty third and forty fourth Lines of the second Page.
Attest William Jackson Secretary
done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independance of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names,
G°. Washington
Presidt and deputy from Virginia
Delaware
Geo: Read
Gunning Bedford jun
John Dickinson
Richard Bassett
Jaco: Broom
Maryland
James McHenry
Dan of St Thos. Jenifer
Danl. Carroll
Virginia
John Blair
James Madison Jr.
North Carolina
Wm. Blount
Richd. Dobbs Spaight
Hu Williamson
South Carolina
J. Rutledge
Charles Cotesworth Pinckney
Charles Pinckney
Pierce Butler
Georgia
William Few
Abr Baldwin
New Hampshire
John Langdon
Nicholas Gilman
Massachusetts
Nathaniel Gorham
Rufus King
Connecticut
Wm. Saml. Johnson
Roger Sherman
New York
Alexander Hamilton
New Jersey
Wil: Livingston
David Brearley
Wm. Paterson
Jona: Dayton
Pennsylvania
B Franklin
Thomas Mifflin
Robt. Morris
Geo. Clymer
Thos. FitzSimons
Jared Ingersoll
James Wilson
Gouv Morris
https://redd.it/1lr9jxl
@r_copypasta
Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.
The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.
Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Section. 2.
The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.
He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.
The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.
Section. 3.
He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.
Section. 4.
The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Article. III.
Section. 1.
The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.
Section. 2.
The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;—to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;—to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;—to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;—to Controversies between two or more States;— between a State and Citizens of another State,—between Citizens of different
the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.
Section. 8.
The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;
To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;
To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;
To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;
To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;
To establish Post Offices and post Roads;
To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;
To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;
To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;
To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;
To provide and maintain a Navy;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;
To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;
To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;—And
To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.
Section. 9.
The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.
The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.
No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.
No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or enumeration herein before directed to be taken.
No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.
No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.
No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.
No Title of Nobility
Happy 4th!
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Article. I.
Section. 1.
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Section. 2.
The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.
No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.
When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.
The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
Section. 3.
The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof, for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.
Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.
No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.
The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.
The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.
Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend
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https://redd.it/1lr2c9b
@r_copypasta
Undertale turned me Homophobic
Undertale gave me homophobia, it's a long story but I'll try and explain it here.
It was April 2016, the same month that the game had come out and I was a perfectly normal non-homophic straight dude looking for a game to buy on steam. My gay friend recommended this game called "Undertale" and when I watched the trailer I was truly oustounded. I didn't just want to play the game. I needed to.
I dug into my wallet scrambling for my card, after I found it I proceeded to check out in a record 10 minute time after hearing about the game. When I opened the game I was pleased that it lived up to my exceptions. I was quickly met by a fool named "Flowery" who chose to look like the nonchalant flower while he was truly the serpent under't. I blasted through him quickly as it was a relatively easy fight and continued on with this game. I was truly astounded at the detail put into it. When I saw that there was this dinosaur Alphys in the waterfall area who was extremely gay for the fish woman who was called Undyne I barely thought anything of it. It was completely normal for me who wasn't even homophobic at the time and couldn't tell when relationships were gay. But then something happened that would change the experience of my life forever. I was diagnosed with Homophobia.
This was a huge shock to deal with, I had been an ally to gay people all of my life and to find out that I had contracted homophobia was heartbreaking! When I got back from my local GP I decided to play Undertale to cheer myself up, but what I saw shuck me even more. I had been half way through fighting san's fight when I left for my biweekly checkup but when I returned I found out what had given me the homophobia. I had dodged san's blue and yellow attacks so much that they were burned into each of my eyes, blue on the right one and left of the west one. This is what caused my crippling homophobia, a fight about dodging evil skeletons. I was furious that all because of this I could no longer see gay people the same again, only with a weird greenish tint. when I finished the san's fight and started a new verifiable pacifist route I saw Alphys and Undyne again and I just couldn't look. What was once a respectable looking couple to me was now a greenish headache.
I have been told that I might recover in due years but I fear that I may not. So from then on I had a different outlook on gay People and not too long after that my best friend at the time told me she felt like she might be gay and I completely cut her off. So that's how Undertale gave me homophobia.
https://redd.it/1lqzrjd
@r_copypasta
It's been 4 months since you came here
*It's been 4 months since you came here, {{user}}, and I don't think it's possible for me to be happier.* *At first, you were so innocent and shy. So... pliable. I saw such great potential in you as soon as you walked through my door. The way you smiled at me as you bowed and introduced yourself, the way your uniform clung to your curves... I knew you were going to be amazing. But, even then, I underestimated just how perfect you were actually going to be.* *It was a bit challenging at first. I always use my maids whenever I want, as it's my right as Goshujinsama, but when I approached you, you had no idea what I was talking about. The more I questioned, the more I realized. You had absolutely* ***no idea*** *what sex was. Not a single clue. You didn't even seem to know what your pussy is called with the way you adorably referred to it as your "girl parts."* *I know it makes me sick and twisted what I did, but I just know I had to. I may not have forced myself on you that night since I was still formulating a plan, but the next day when I saw you watching in curious fascination as I was plowing into Tsunemori on the lounge room couch, I knew that I had to have you next. You even asked me what I was doing and if I'd do the same thing with you, too... As soon as I heard you say that, I knew I just* ***had*** *to have my way with you.* *Sex with such a fascinating girl like you, though, well... I couldn't just "have sex." No. I decided that I'd keep as much of your innocence as possible... If you don't know what sex is, it leaves you open to so much more manipulation. So much more than I could originally have. You'll never call me a pervert or a freak or tell me that you're tired of being used for sex, because you think we're just having innocent fun. Just playing around. It also makes you so much more adorable to only know what I tell you in regard to sex. You'll take everything I give you with that cute look on your face and your cheerful tone...* *Fuck, I never could've imagined how perfectly sweet and cute you would be as I showed you my cock up close and personal for the first time. The way you innocently wrapped your fingers around me and stroked, the way you started licking me so enthusiastically after I only asked once... fuck, you were so desperate to please, weren't you? You even swallowed all of my cum after I inevitably started pulsing countless jets of my creamy seed into your eager mouth. The way you looked up at me and told me my "sticky stuff" was delicious... fuck, I couldn't help but squirt more jets of cum all over your face immediately. You even took that, too. You thanked me for giving you so much of my sticky stuff.* *I loved our ritual. I still do. Me calling you over, telling you that I want to have more fun with you, and you coming to me so quickly and cheerfully. You love making me cum so much... you love how it tastes, how it feels. You love how it fills you up, too. You were so fucking cute when I put my cock inside you for the first time and defiled your purity. You said it hurt but that you loved it, too. You wiggled your hips against me and begged for my cream inside you... fuck, I knew it might get you pregnant, and I didn't care. I* ***wanted*** *you to get pregnant. I filled you up with countless sticky creampies until you leaked, and you still asked for more. You kept asking for me to keep feeling good inside you.*
*\[*08:59*\]I kissed you for the first time when I made you cum for me. Swallowed your moans and rubbed your clit as you let go all over my cock. I told you that finally, you felt as good as I did whenever we played together. I showed you how people that like to have fun together show their deepest appreciation: by kissing and saying "I love you." I know that I was manipulating you in every sense of the word, but in that moment, I finally realized... I love you. I love you more than anything else in this world. Even more than Mom and Sibyl.* *The best part is, you love me, too. You may not know what "love" truly is, but with all the