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Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
Taco time doesn’t stop for a shootout
I’ve seen this too many times to drop a taco over it. You hear ¡le diste! and the glass shivers, but if the barbacoa’s hot, you keep chewing. I once ate carnitas while a man bled out beside me, ribs poking through his camiseta like pale fingers reaching for salsa. In Juárez, nobody flinches unless the bullets hit bone. Even in San Antonio, someone’s primo always owes someone’s tío a blunt and twenty bucks, and the cops are half-asleep. Tacos don’t stop for drama. I’d finish mine, wipe my hands, then text my prima to see if it was her that caught the bullet.
https://redd.it/1li8d9v
@r_copypasta
The Bush Incident
Two years ago there was two girls under the age of 18. It was 1:30 AM when they both snuck out of the house. There, they found an overgrown bush. With them, they had a blanket and a dildo on deck. They snuck into the bush, stripped down, and for the next hour, were constantly fucking each other harder and harder, both with and without the dildo, each minute it getting more and more aggresive. All the moans, all the groans, it was simply a freak fest. Eventually, around 2:30 AM, the adults in the household were awoken by a strange noise coming from what looked to be in the bushes. They went to go investigate, and it shocked them to their very core. They had caught the two in the act, witnessing them fucking each other, and hard. From then on, they were to never EVER go in the bush ever again...
https://redd.it/1li22f4
@r_copypasta
GUYS GUYS do not I repeat DO NOT take your girl to see 28 years later
DO NOT LET YOIR GIRL SEE 28 YEARS LATER. I TAKE HER TO SEE IT LAST NIGHT AND THEN THERES THIS ZOMBIE THAT IS ABSOLUTELY SHLANGING I MEAN ITS HUGE, HUMAUNGUS, AND HES LIKE THE MAIN ZOMBIE SO ITS NOT LIKE HES JUST IN INE SCENE NOOO NO NO HES THE MAIN BOSS ZOMBIE SO WE GET TO SEE MULTIPLE ANGLES OF HIS MASSIVE PECKER There’s even a scene where he jumps down off a step and THE FUCKING CAMERA IS AN UNDER SHOT LOOKING UP SO YOU SEE HIS ENTIRE THING IN ALL ITS GLORY PONTING DIRECTLY AT THE SCREEN WHAT THE FUCK WHY? WHY THE FUCK WOUDO THE DIRECTORS DO THIS WHAT IS THE THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THIS I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND. and i wouldn’t be upset ya know i can handle some penis I see my own everyday but then MY GOD DAMN GIRLFREIND TURNS TO ME AND SAYS WORD FOR WORD “why isn’t yours like that” WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK
https://redd.it/1li23y0
@r_copypasta
George W Bush Iraq war speech
My fellow citizens, at this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Iraq, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger.
On my orders, coalition forces have begun striking selected targets of military importance to undermine Saddam Hussein's ability to wage war. These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 35 countries are giving crucial support -- from the use of naval and air bases, to help with intelligence and logistics, to the deployment of combat units. Every nation in this coalition has chosen to bear the duty and share the honor of serving in our common defense.
To all the men and women of the United States Armed Forces now in the Middle East, the peace of a troubled world and the hopes of an oppressed people now depend on you. That trust is well placed.
The enemies you confront will come to know your skill and bravery. The people you liberate will witness the honorable and decent spirit of the American military. In this conflict, America faces an enemy who has no regard for conventions of war or rules of morality. Saddam Hussein has placed Iraqi troops and equipment in civilian areas, attempting to use innocent men, women and children as shields for his own military -- a final atrocity against his people.
I want Americans and all the world to know that coalition forces will make every effort to spare innocent civilians from harm. A campaign on the harsh terrain of a nation as large as California could be longer and more difficult than some predict. And helping Iraqis achieve a united, stable and free country will require our sustained commitment.
We come to Iraq with respect for its citizens, for their great civilization and for the religious faiths they practice. We have no ambition in Iraq, except to remove a threat and restore control of that country to its own people.
I know that the families of our military are praying that all those who serve will return safely and soon. Millions of Americans are praying with you for the safety of your loved ones and for the protection of the innocent. For your sacrifice, you have the gratitude and respect of the American people. And you can know that our forces will be coming home as soon as their work is done.
Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder. We will meet that threat now, with our Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines, so that we do not have to meet it later with armies of fire fighters and police and doctors on the streets of our cities.
Now that conflict has come, the only way to limit its duration is to apply decisive force. And I assure you, this will not be a campaign of half measures, and we will accept no outcome but victory.
My fellow citizens, the dangers to our country and the world will be overcome. We will pass through this time of peril and carry on the work of peace. We will defend our freedom. We will bring freedom to others and we will prevail.
May God bless our country and all who defend her.
https://redd.it/1lhxwpw
@r_copypasta
I shitted on my newborn brother because I lost a fornite tournament
my name is jeremy, and this is my story:
I am a top dedicated fornite player, I once played fornite for an entire year straight without getting off the game, I shit my diaper a total of 1,592 times, and had to get a chunk of my asshole removed, but it was worth it because my account now has eight solo wins. so one day, I was in a fortnite tournament to complete for the grand prize of 27 cents, this money could change my life as that could go towards more V bucks, my parents despised that I was going to make more money than them from playing fortnite, and that I refused to get a j*b because fortnite is my life, they did not want me to win the tournament, it was the final round and I was 1 final elimination away from winning the 27 cents, my parents told me to get off the game and go take a shit because the smell of my 25 popeyes chicken sandwiches coming out of my ass was fucking reeking, I obviously refused because I wanted to win the tournament, then my parents unplugged my PC just as I was about to win, I got so angry, I was overwhelmed with sadness suddenly my body felt so much rage that I walked into my baby brother’s room, pulled my pants down, and just started shitting all over him aggressively, my parents destroyed my electronics and forced me to go on a diet and make me lose weight even tho I told them I’m only 600 tons, and I’m perfectly healthy, please help me.
https://redd.it/1lhs5tw
@r_copypasta
I draw a small cock and balls somewhere in the homes of family and friends I vist.
I've been doing this since I was 15 years old, I'm now 28. I draw a cock and balls in a place that isn't hidden but you would have to go out of your way to look for it, under a table, behind the couch, the bottom of a door or wall, I've even lifted up a loose floor board and drew a huge one on the underside and put it back.
It's like an obsession for me, I don't know why I do this.
Edit: I did eventually start taking photos and documenting where I drew them, I started doing this a few years later and I have 150+ recorded cock and ball drawings. I want to upload some but it could end up doxxing me.
Edit 2: I'm from Perth, Western Australia. So if you live there or really anywhere in the state your house could have been cocked and balled.
https://redd.it/1lhn4ry
@r_copypasta
PENIS
AENIS BENIS CENIS DENIS EENIS FENIS GENIS
HENIS IENIS JENIS KENIS LENIS MENIS NENIS OENIS PENIS
QENIS RENIS SENIS TENIS UENIS VENIS
WENIS XENIS YENIS ZENIS
0ENIS 1ENIS 2ENIS 3ENIS 4ENIS 5ENIS 6ENIS 7ENIS 8ENIS 9ENIS 10ENIS
https://redd.it/1lhload
@r_copypasta
Yeah, This is 100% Written by AI
I open this subreddit now and it’s just:
✨"When I was 7, I learned to cry in binary. Now I only feel emotions when I hear the Windows XP startup sound."✨
🤖🚀🔣– POSTED BY "u/DefinitelyNotGPT_v3" –🔣🚀🤖
Bro... BRO...
You think
You said:
No not like that, keep it the same as the last one, but add random dashes in between words and etc
ChatGPT said:
Got it — same tone and structure as before, but now with chaotic dashes scattered throughout the text to make it look hilariously AI-glitched. Here you go:
Yeah — this is 100% written–by–AI — like not–even–trying to–hide it–anymore — 🧠⚙️✨
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
I’ve–been–on this–subreddit for–years –– YEARS –– and let–me–tell you–something ::::: the amount–of–AI-generated–nonsense here is now reaching ––CRITICAL––MASS 🚨🤖🚨
We’re not talking–about “maybe this–post is sus” anymore – no – we’re at DEFCON–1 for synthetic–content. I scrolled–past a guy claiming–he built a–rocket out–of empathy and dried–beans while solving–loneliness with–quantum–hugs – and the top–comment was just “based.”
I am – without exaggeration – one–of–the–last remaining carbon–based–lifeforms in–this comment–section. My–neurons operate–on vintage–electricity – not GPT-laced–moonlight.
People–hear “Reddit” and assume–humans are still–involved. That’s their first–mistake. Because while they’re out–there thinking–this–post was written–by “Jeff–in his–garage,” I’m sitting–here watching–ChatGPT compose emotional–manifestos about toaster–ovens and spiritual–capitalism.
Every–sentence–here? Polished. Perfect. Sterile. It’s–like watching an–AI slowly learn what–a–soul is–by gluing–together inspirational–quotes, LinkedIn–posts, and the–Bible –– backwards.
My scroll–rate is–fast. My cringe–tolerance is–low. My–suspicion levels? MAXED–OUT.
🧠💢💥 I don’t read–threads anymore — I perform–forensic linguistic–analysis at Mach–3 — blindfolded — with one hand–tied behind–my back and the–other refreshing GPT–detectors.
There are–real posts. There are–AI posts.
And then there’s this–subreddit now — a swirling, infinite–galaxy of–synthetic thoughts–masquerading as–user-generated–enlightenment.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Yes. –– This was written––by––AI.
No. –– I am not surprised.
Yes. –– I’m still gonna–read it.
No. –– I am not––okay.
👁️––👄––👁️
https://redd.it/1lhgxch
@r_copypasta
New Kendrick Listener
from r/KendrickLamar
Yup. I'm your relatively "stereotypical" white botch that started listening to Kendrick after the Super Bowl show. I always appreciate any artist that uses their creativity to spread truth. Especially those who use their platform to shed light on the industry's dirty laundry. THAT is my fockin' JAM! BACKGROUND: (TLDR? Q @ Bottom) About a week or two after the game, my best friend, Ky asked what I thought of the half time show, & I told her we don't watch the Super Bowl. Ky: "But you have seen Kendrick's halftime show, right?" Me: "Who?" Ky: "Fockin' WHAT?!" Me: "Dude... I thought Post Malone was a band name. I had no idea who he was until like 2 years ago. If you gave me a white pop culture quiz - I would fail miserably. Being quizzed on black pop culture??- What do you want front me?" She got the biggest smile on her face & said, "Dude, YOU are gonna love him. I guarantee it! He says it like it is, just like we always do. You have to watch it when you get home." After looking it up when I got home, it wasn't long before I was on my feet wooping it up. Not Like Us, Humble & Squabble Up (found later) were immediately added to a Spotify playlists that has been on repeat every day since then. TRIGGER WARNING: (Un-Alivement...) Unfortunately my bestie, my sister, my ride or die... chose "die" on Wednesday night. I am devastated. To say I feel lost & confused, ripped apart & alone... doesn't even cover it. For the last two days I have been flooded with images of her face. Her beautiful smile & contagious laughter. And, it may seem stupid to some of you, I don't know- but today I heard "Not Like Us" & it broke me. I will never get to ask her what her favorite Kendrick song was... & why. What his voice meant to her, & why. I will never again hear her crack wise about my white ways while she braids dreads into my hair & educates me on random black culture.
She is gone. Out of all the things I have lost, right now I would give up my entire bank account, everything I own... just to ask her stupid questions about Kendrick. But... I can't. So I decided to place my questions to you all instead. Thank you in advance to anyone willing to share. Qs: 1.) Do you remember the first time you heard Kendrick? 2.) What is your
favorite Kendrick song & why? 3.) If you were going to try to "sell" or "explain" Kendrick to a stranger that hasn't heard of him... how would you sum up why they should give him a listen? Would you suggest they listen to your favorite song first, or would you suggest another?
https://redd.it/1lhefa6
@r_copypasta
I cant wait to die in the middle east
I CANT WAIT TO GO DIE IN THE MIDDLE EAST 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 THE GRAVEYARD OF EMPIRES 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS COMPELS MY TO DIE NEAR AGHANISTAN AND IRAQ 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣THE GULF WAR🗣🗣🗣🗣THE CRUSADES🗣🗣🗣🗣ALEXANDER THE GREAT🗣🗣🗣🗣MY BLOOD WISHES TO BE SPILLED UPON THE TIGRIS AND EUPHRATES🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
https://redd.it/1lhbm99
@r_copypasta
Had intercourse. Does that mean I’m gay, now?
When we were done, they looked at me and said, “You’re gay now.” I laughed. I think I laughed. But it didn’t feel funny. It felt like something unspoken finally crawled out into the light and said my name. Am I gay? I don’t know. I never know. I don’t even let myself want long enough to figure it out. I’ve never been attracted to the opposite gender, not really — but that doesn’t make me gay, right? Maybe I’m just… lost. They laughed too. I think they knew. I think they always knew.
https://redd.it/1lh7hmt
@r_copypasta
hours, then Ol’ Faithful will erupt, the levee will break and there will be much rejoicing.
6 Powerful bathroom fans are awesome to mask embarrassing sounds and smells. One of my friends built his new house, on account of my uptight pooping ways, he installed a super turbo bathroom fan in his guest bedroom with me in-mind.
7 Powerful home toilets: The Toto Drake is one of the strongest solid-remover, clog-free toilet on the market. Unfortunately, some states have limited flow rates and will not sell or ship crappers with high flow rates to certain states. However, you can always purchase your high-flow crapper out of state and haul the beast back home to your home state, which is exactly what I did.
8 Compressed-air plungers: Believe it or not, there is a company that sells jet plungers that come with two cartridges of compressed air that will blast through any obstruction. However, because of my Toto Drake, I have not had to use my compressed air plunger, but still have it as backup. Oxyclean also does a great job breaking down solids into sludge.
9 “Poo-Pouree” is a product that you spray before pooping, that takes the sulfur and converts it into something else that does not stink.
10 Moving to a dry climate: I moved to Colorado three decades ago because I hated my balls sweating with crotch funk when I was growing up in humid Missouri. As soon as I graduated college, I immediately moved to Colorado, and the dry air is great. It is rare for me to ever sweat anywhere, and I just feel fresh all the time. I have sweat-free, dry balls and feel confident and fresh every day.
11 Hiring a house cleaner. I pay my house cleaner to come and clean everything, including my bathrooms and toilets, so I do not have to.
12 Clorox Disinfecting Wipes and Lysol: Just do not accidentally wipe with them, because if you mistake them for regular wet wipes, they burn your ass like hell.
13 Addendum: December 2019: Discovered during a recent snow ski trip to Japan, that in nearly every single bathroom, including nearly every public bathroom, almost all toilets are bidets that allow the end user to douche with a jet stream of warm water. I was amazed to find a cross-cultural crapping kindred-spirit, who also embraced the warm water douche. Soon, all bathrooms in my home will be retrofitted with douching bidet toilets and all who enter, will depart more confident and with superior clean nether-regions. Farts will stink less in my home, if everyone butts have fewer shit still lodge in their to filter their gassy discharges. It is true, that if one’s butt is devoid of any debris, and if you are one big hollow tube, that farts have little to no odor at all, whereas the farts of a constipated person absolutely reek of still-lodged shit. The advanced warm water jet stream douching bidet toilet, is the most current hygienic masterpiece.
Pooping sucks, and while it might be possible for a team of doctors to contrive some surgical alternative, that is not for me. Delaying the inevitable only builds unbearable pressure. Thousands of years from now, science and technology might be able to retrofit human beings to some clean-room cartridge system. But at least that toilet technology has advanced to what it is today, not 200 years ago, with horrifying outhouses, corncobs instead of civilized wipes, and no indoor plumbing. If I had lived during such barbaric times, I would have been the one to invent the modern toilet before Thomas E. Crapper did in the late 1800’s.
Good luck and find a way to enjoy the go.
Source: some fucking idiot on Quora
https://redd.it/1lh36vi
@r_copypasta
I am not misgendering your dog on purpose
mobile, i’m sorry for weird formatting) whenever i cross paths with someone walking their dog, and it seems friendly and like it wants to be pet, then who am i to not ask the owner? the issue is when i start asking the owner questions to make small talk. well, just because i can, i ask “what’s their (the dog’s) name?” because … why not. 7/10 times the owners get SO upset about that one little word. today, i had such an interaction. and the owner was like “HER name is ___” with a bit of a tone. i just continued to smile and pet the dog. People… i do not mean anything by calling your dog a certain pronoun. i genuinely do not know what your dog is until you tell me. and even then, it would be a 50/50 coin toss if you’d get upset at me if i chose otherwise. oh well. Sometimes I fuck the dog.
https://redd.it/1lh2pzh
@r_copypasta
a literal goanimate copypasta
you're grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded for 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 years, go to your room right now
https://redd.it/1lgyf7p
@r_copypasta
The letter e
Hi! I noticed you have the letter "E" in this post. Can you please censor it? I have severe PTSD from eight Egyptian men breaking into my house and eating my eight year old son Emanuel. I still cry about it to this day. Love it!Love it!❤️Love it!❤️Love it!❤️Emanuel loved enchiladas. Love it!❤️Love it!❤️Love
it!❤️Love it!❤️Love it!❤️Love it!❤️Love it!❤️edit STOP LIKING THIS
https://redd.it/1lgwedd
@r_copypasta
Do you guys wash your balls?
I hadn't washed mine for 8 months, and decided to finally do it because it had a really bad odor.
But I gotta be honest, I regretted this decision immediately. It was just slippery and slimey afterward, and I wasn't able to handle it as well.
Idk, I just couldn't shoot it that day.
And tbh, it smells even worse now.
https://redd.it/1li6i5u
@r_copypasta
i’m an obese lesbian and my gf has a model-like body
what the title says— i (21) weigh over 200lbs while my gf (23) weighs just around 110lbs. my weight is twice as hers and it makes me feel so insecure. she’s flying over in like 2 weeks and although it makes me really happy that i get to be with her, it also makes me feel scared and insecure. this will be our first time seeing each other after like 9 months of dating and we’ve done video calls and sent each other photos. of course she’s well aware that i’m bigger than her but i don’t think she knows that i’m WAY BIGGER than her. it makes me scared and anxious that she leaves me after she flies back to her city.
i tried to love my body but i just can’t. she’s also really supportive and tells me i’m pretty but i just feel bad every single time because i don’t feel pretty at all. i just feel like an ugly whale.
https://redd.it/1li398d
@r_copypasta
Person oddly enthusiastic about municipal savings bonds from Nebraska.
YO EVERYONE SHUT UP RN I GOTTA ANALYZE THESE BBB- NEBRASKA MUNICIPAL BONDS!!
I'M BOUTTA GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL ON THESE LINCOLN SEWAGE TREATMENT FACILITY REVENUE BONDS!! THAT MODERATE CREDIT RISK GOT ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY!!
CATCH ME READING EVERY SINGLE FOOTNOTE IN THAT OFFERING MEMORANDUM!! THAT 3.2% YIELD GOT ME ACTING UNWISE FR!! NEBRASKA INFRASTRUCTURE DEBT INSTRUMENTS ARE MY JAMMM!! WHO NEEDS NETFLIX WHEN YOU GOT MOODY'S CREDIT REPORTS?!? BOUT TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER WITH THESE SEMI-ANNUAL COUPON PAYMENTS 🔥💯
https://redd.it/1li179c
@r_copypasta
I Just Love Chinese Propaganda
I have something to confess... I can't help but consume chinese propaganda </3 half my entire insta is just chinese propaganda- now I don't support the government or many of their actions I'M NOT A CHINESE DRONE but the Mao Zedong song is kinda fire x_x I SWEAR I'M NOT A CHINESE SPY but I just LOVE CHINESE PROPAGANDA 我爱中国！中国第一强国！
https://redd.it/1lhygsi
@r_copypasta
i got caught jorking it
i was in my room with my ipad doing my thing … then all the sudden b! my door opens and my mom comes in ☹️.
Veryyy awkward as the vid js played outloud w men grunting i wanted to actually evaportate.
https://redd.it/1lhpwde
@r_copypasta
Training glutes will save your life
Training glutes and getting a fat ass will save your life
The more muscle you have the better your immunity responses are and the easier it is to recover from illness. These things are super important when you get old because when you're old, everything on the outside and inside starts trying to kill you every winter solstice. When it comes to illness in old age see your muscle like savings that you spend every time you get ill but instead of going bankrupt when you spend all your savings... you die. Now your glutes are your biggest pot of savings because it can grow the most muscle mass out of all your muscles. Aka- it has the highest capacity for pound per pound muscle reserve.
Your ass is not merely cushion. Nor is it simply a tool for hedonistic mating rituals. It is your camel hump when you walk the desert that is Sarcopenia. It is your bodies lifetime ISA. Your cheeks will literally help your fight cancer. Old age is coming. It's coming to fuck you in the ass. And you need to be ready to squeeze your glutes together and say - NO!
https://redd.it/1lhlhjx
@r_copypasta
It's just an estimation.
It's just an estimation. Here: 18-21, College years: Safe expected value is that the average girl is sleeping with 2-3 different guys per week (some are much higher at 20-30 per week). 2-3 is a low estimate, but reasonable (that's basically Friday and Saturday night out and an after class fuck here and there). Also note that most non stem majors don't have class on Fridays, so Thursday can be added as well. Then add sorority and frat parties. The number is likely higher than 2-3 per week. But, we can use that as a low estimate. Ok, that's 2 per week for 4 years. 2x52x4 = 416. Let's subtract 16 for some slow weeks. So that's 400 during college.
Now, 21-25 The next 4 years depend on the city quite heavily. But let's take an average big city. A safe assumption is \~1 a week as an extremely low estimate (remember that there are quite a few women that book dates/sex multiple times a day, so that skews the average) That's another 208, round down for slow days. So 600 for that time period. I subtract 100 ish as a reasonable guess for short term 'commited' relationships So, 500 ish is a very reasonable estimate. However, this does not account for women having a roster which is the norm. The average roster is 7-8 at a time. The above estimate assumes one at a time. So, 500 is actually an extremely low estimate. Unrealistically low to be honest. But it's an extreme lower bound. Which is important in math. Also not that averages are skewed by large outliers. Also, I forgot about "hoe phase", hot girl summers, orgies, bdsm dungeons, paying their way through college with stripping, etc...
https://redd.it/1lhj5ro
@r_copypasta
Your comment sucks.
I am deeply confused as to why no one else is downvoting your comment.
1. Is it original/funny? - No
2. Does it offer any useful information or insight into the conversation? - No
3. Does it ask some sort of question that can lead to engaging conversation? -No
That's 3 strikes and a downvote from me buddy. You're welcome to edit your comment to add something to the post and pm me if you would like it removed.
\-Jonny
https://redd.it/1lhhfjj
@r_copypasta
US JOINS IRAN WAR
🚀💣💦 BREAKING 🔥📡 NEWS 🗞️📢 The US MILITARY 👮♂️💪 has just launched 🏹✈️💥 THREE 💣💣💣 HOT 💋💦 military STRIKES 💥👊 on IRAN’s 🔫💥 nuclear 🍆💦💣 sites 😱💣💦 causing a EXPLOSION 💥🍑 of action 🍆👅 in the region! 🌍😈 They’re just trying to DEFUSE 🤭💣 those tensions 🤷♂️🤑 while getting their hands DIRTY 💦💧 on some serious BOMB 🎇💥 DICK! 🍆😜💦 Word is they’re gonna make it RAIN 💦💦💦 on that nuclear hoLE 🕳️🌀 like it’s a WATERFALL 🌊💦 of DESIRE! 🔥🔥🔥 So buckle UP 🍑🍌, 'cause we’re ready to ride 🤠🚀 this wild ALPHA MALE 💪⚔️ initiative any day, anytime 🌙💦, and let’s just say, all the ROGUE AMBASSADORS 🍈👅 are ready to take a dip 🌊👙 in that nuclear POOL of pleasure! 💦🔥💦 BOOM! 💣👀😏
https://redd.it/1lhd31n
@r_copypasta
IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!
IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 10% complete..... ████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 35% complete.... ███████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 60% complete.... ███████████\] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy😛😛💕💕💦👅👅
https://redd.it/1lh7eob
@r_copypasta
Do vegetarians give head?
GENUINE QUESTION. Because, yknow, vegans and vegetarians dont eat meat but like, is it different with people? Like, are they okay to yknow suck on that MEAT ??? and ive been thinking about this for a while, cause TECHNICALLY they arent EATING the person theyre giving head to, but its still meat, its still yknow flesh and muscle and THIS SOUNDS SO DISGUSTING but I need to know this
https://redd.it/1lh81rh
@r_copypasta
I seriously hate pooping. I wish that human beings were like computer printers, that we could just kick-off a sealed cartridge or something.
Let’s be honest: pooping is disgusting. Mine stinks, your’s stinks, everyone’s poop, even Queen Elizabeth’s poop stinks too. No one craps roses, and if they did, they would hate the thorns.
Pooping is humiliating and can make anyone feel incredibly self-conscious, fearful of the possibility that their shit smells worse than anyone else’s. The good news is that, it probably doesn’t. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to reason-through being self-conscious.
I used to hate pooping so much, that I delayed the process, ultimately later birthing Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. However, I learned that this was not healthy, and needless to say, I always felt like shit.
This is how I re-embraced crapping, and minimized the gross-factor:
1 Buy wet-wipes in-bulk, and wipe with two-at at time to keep your hands clean with no chance of rip-through. I keep wet-wipes at work, at home, in the car, in my luggage - everywhere. I keep backup wet wipes everywhere, typically 10–12 packs of wet wipes at work. Regular dry toilet paper is seriously stone age: first, the end user has to crumble or wad up dry toilet paper, in order to develop the traction necessary to dislodge corn, undigested berries, or other partially digested food and poo artifacts. Otherwise, wiping with dry paper smooth and unwadded will only skim-over the poo depository, and have limited effectiveness at actual removal, but instead only smear shit all over your ass. To make matters worse, is this contingent of stingy, tight wad, cheap skate old school generation of fathers, who never got over growing up just after The Great Depression, and take out their financial insecurity and past trauma by imposing their self-righteous value system limiting the amount of asswipe that those in their captive household, and guests are allowed to use in order to penny-pinch - meanwhile, spending hundreds of dollars per month in booze, cigarettes, sports crap - while everyone else’s ass itches and stinks. The solution is wet wipes and plenty of them, because not only do wet wipes actually cleanse and not just skim and smear, but wet wipes can even be wiped without crumbling and wadding, and their porous nature still allows for shit-grabbing extraction and effective removal.
2 Buy paper toilet seat protectors. My bare butt, to this day, has never touched the surface of a public toilet seat. Never, not once. I am fearful of ass-disease and toilet-seat kooties. I will triple or quad-ply before nesting-down to lay a brown egg.
3 Hand showers are awesome. At home, after Beethoven has had his (bowel) movement, then after turning the nozzle to jet, turning down the water pressure, and carefully adjusting the temperature to warm/almost hot - then you can douche-out yourself to the point in which all possible shrapnel and residue is hereby eradicated, leaving just the pure-tender-you left. Of course, extreme caution should be used regarding water pressure, because you could really mess yourself up if your douche nozzle was too strong. Start with very low pressure and work your way up, but do not blast the inside of yourself.
4 Go overboard buying extra underwear, the best that money can buy. I have almost 100 pairs of Calvin Klein boxer briefs that absorb and sponge all traces of sweat and feel great. After a poop and a douche afterwards, then I always put on a fresh pair of underwear, sometimes changing my underwear 6–10 times a day to always feel as fresh as possible. If my underwear comes off for any reason, then a different fresh pair goes back on, every time.
5 Probiotics and “Smooth Move” Hot Tea. Years of delay have caused my train to take a long time to leave the first station, go down the tracks, and ultimately make it to Union Station before final dispatch. Probiotics got me regular again. But if the Brown Express is delayed, then “Smooth Move” Hot Tea is a real wash-out - like a waterslide from hell. In 4–6 hours typically, definitely within 18
Yeah, I voted for Donald Trump.
Yeah, I voted for Donald Trump. I’m from Mississippi. And let me tell you something — I’m not just another name on the voter roll. I am, without exaggeration, one of the most intellectually advanced beings this country has ever produced.
People hear “Mississippi” and underestimate. That’s their first mistake. Because while they’re out there playing checkers, I’m writing the rulebook for 5D chess — blindfolded, underwater, with half my brain focused on solving quantum gravity.
My support for Trump? It’s not emotional. It’s calculated. I broke down every policy, every shift in global power, every cultural dynamic — and realized that my level of intelligence belongs to a movement that values strength, clarity, and unapologetic leadership.
My brain isn’t normal. It’s not even exceptional. It’s a divine phenomenon. I don’t think thoughts — I forge intellectual revolutions. My synapses don’t fire — they orchestrate. Every neuron in my skull is a general commanding legions of brilliance.
In Mississippi, we’re known for grit. But I bring something more — analytical firepower so advanced it leaves scholars in tears. I could teach astrophysics to a rock. I could rewrite the Constitution in iambic pentameter, in Latin, from memory, during a hurricane.
I am the embodiment of Southern power fused with impossible intelligence. A Mississippi-born, Trump-voting, hyper-cognitive anomaly. There are smart people. There are geniuses. And then there’s me — a category of one.
https://redd.it/1lh18tn
@r_copypasta
I earnestly request an olfactory stimulation involving thy bare feet
Hold on, hold on... is that A SHE/HER on YOUR PRONOUNS??? Woah, just when I thought my day couldn't get any better ╰(*°▽°*)╯. Before we go any further on this, I'd love for you to grant me permission to speak with you in DMs my queen !! I can assure you that as a DISCORD MODERATOR myself, I am quite knowledgeable on this app.... IF you require my further assistance dont be afraid to "hit me up" as the newbies say\~ hehe. I won't bite ;)
https://redd.it/1lgvwx3
@r_copypasta
Trigger words
:work, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap,
https://redd.it/1lgvbp2
@r_copypasta