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Story to tickle your belly @reddit2telegram @r_channels JEET is the administrator
fart accident
We just got done on a job. We had another guy in the backseat who didn't speak English too well. It was summertime. We all smelled, so I thought because the windows were up, and my brother turned the fans on as soon as we got into the truck, and immediately, I smelled the most disgusting stench... I thought, "Hey.. Maybe it's just our body odor." I had to ask my brother, "Did you fart?" .... I started gagging, and I opened a window.
My brother turns his back to laugh with the Latino.
Latino wasn't happy. Which made him laugh even harder.
BOOM We crash into the people ahead of us. We pull over to exchange info. The end.
https://redd.it/118py6u
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Funny nickname
A dude at work started throwing lotion on people because he was bored. He has now gotten the nickname Migs and regrets his actions.
https://redd.it/1180bww
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My friend took a fat shit at a public shower.
Me and my friend (let's call him John) were at a pool party and we swam for a few hours. After we were done, we went to the shower at the resort, we went in, took of our clothes, and of course took a shower.
Couple minutes later i smelled something, it smelled like shit. I yelled out "Something smelled like shit!" John laughed a bit when i said that. I asked if it was him who made the smell, he answered no. (What a fuckin' liar)
I believed him and we finished both of our showers. We put some clothes on and we talked for a while until we had to go home. We rode on a jeep and we were both dropped off near his house, i said goodbye to him and i took a ride on a tricycle. (or pedicab)
Couple days later i went to his house so i can help him fix his shoe. I had bought some shoe glue and i brought it to his house, the sole on his shoe was coming off so we used some glue. After a few minutes of talking, he told me what the smell was.
Turns out he left a FAT SHIT on the floor of his stall. He tried to push it down the drain but it wouldn't down.
HE JUST LEFT A MASSIVE PIECE OF DOOKIE FOR SOMEONE WHO'S UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO GO IN THAT STALL XD
After hearing that, i laughed my ass off to the point where i almost peed my pants lol
After that, i told him i was gonna post this story on reddit. He said it was fine, just don't use his real name.
To the person who saw that massive hunk of ass rock, i'm so sorry XD
https://redd.it/116xz8f
@r_funnystories
So this didn't happen to me..
A guy I know worked with a cute girl who was about as white as it gets, but she spoke fluent Spanish from when she was in college, she studied abroad for a year and came back knowing the language perfectly. Fast forward a few years, she was working at a restaurant where my buddy worked and was eating lunch in the back. Some Hispanic girls were standing right next to her talking about how the one was stealing tips from the tip jar, and the white girl was listening to them and holding on to that info. A little while later, she asked the boss (the owner of the restaurant) if he could check the cameras near the front counter because "she left her phone there and couldn't find it." The boss didn't find her phone, but he sure took note of the one girl stealing tips from the jar!
https://redd.it/115k6ed
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I brushed my teeth with IcyHot
Yep, the title is exactly how it sounds.
Some back story:
I had drove to my girlfriend's for Valentine's day, which is about an hour and a half from my school, and then planned to drive back the next morning. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my tooth brush and used my girlfriend's tooth brush the night of, yes we have a very close relationship lol
So, the next morning I had to wake up early and to drive back and my girlfriend woke up with me to spend some time before leaving. She goes to shower and I go to brush my teeth. I picked out a tube of toothpaste and started brushing. About 40 seconds in, all of a sudden my mouth feels like it just got blasted with peppermint, and my brain goes, "wow, this is some really strong toothpaste." I finish up, left with a mouth that I just drank an iced cold 7-Up immediately after a dentist appointment and all I'm thinking of is "wow, I gotta ask her what toothpaste that was."
My girlfriend gets out of the shower and comes back into the bedroom and goes, "Did you brush your mouth with Icy Hot?" after she attempted to brush her own teeth with the Icy Hot brush, and all of the lightbulbs go on at once like a carnival powering up on a summers night. Apparently, the Icy Hot had a very similar look to the toothpaste I have at home and my brain had just failed to remember that I had left my toothpaste at home.
Moral of the story, be careful in the morning
https://redd.it/11508zl
@r_funnystories
im just going to do this one in a 4chan style since idk what board to post on.
\>be me
\>classic quiet kid art loser in highschool
\>english teacher makes us draw valentines cards which she will distribuite anonymously
\>i decided to make a breaking bad themed card, with "will you be the jesse to my walter" with a bunch of BB items in the corners
\>a day later, some normie girl recieves my card and says that its a death threat to my teacher
\>teacher politely comes to me and asks if i drew some dead meat and a kinfe on the card
\>it was the fucking box cutter and the teddy bear
\>mfw
https://redd.it/113zq8v
@r_funnystories
INCIDENT AT LYMAN FOOD LION STORE #2642 INVOLVING PSYCHO CASHIER 0130 AND HER DIM-WITTED BAGBOY-FANBOY
It's the night before Christmas Eve, 2022 and I'm doing the very last of my Christmas shopping. I've just purchased a gift item, a Shelf Elf, down the road at CVS, exchanged 'Merry Christmases' with the friendly personnel there and traveled the short distance to the Lyman FOOD LION Store #2642 to make my final Christmas purchase, a Franzia Box Wine.
With it in hand, yours truly is full of the good old Christmas spirit as I head for the register where I want to complete this simple transaction and tell all those present, 'Have A Merry Christmas!'
But the cashier and bagboy here do not want to have this kind of interaction with me. They have something else in mind.
: ( : ( : (
It's 10:20 PM and this FOOD LION closes in 40 minutes.
This should be a fun and cheerful Christmassy purchase. What could possibly go wrong?
As I approach the lone open register in the store (in hindsight, no way in hell to avoid these two assclowns - grrrrr!) the cashier, cashier 0130 per my receipt, smirks at me then looks at the bagboy who immediately joins in with her 'fun'.
No friendly smiles or warm season's greetings to be had in this FOOD LION tonight!
I say, 'Hey', to the cashier in an effort to break the ice and warm them up a bit, but she responds with a PSYCHO DEATH STARE while the dopey-looking bagboy looks on with a cretinous smirk on his face.
I see that I'm dealing with someone who isn't in the best of moods, probably doesn't want to be working at this moment, hates everything about her life and lack thereof, isn't currently playing with a full deck and I'm her current target and she has a moronic bagboy-fanboy to cheer her on. It appears to be just the 3 of us in the store and these TWO THINGS are about to give me a 'private show'.
Henceforth, let us refer to the psycho cashier as THING 1 and it's puerile bagboy-fanboy as THING 2. Marvelous!
THING 1 yanks the Box Wine from my hand as I'm not quite finished placing it on the belt and I look up to see that it is still giving me the PSYCHO DEATH STARE! Oh boy, this is going to be good.
I'm not easily bullied or intimidated. I've been there. Done it. Own the t-shirt.
I was a MILITARY POLICEMAN in the U.S. ARMY.
So I find this all strangely amusing.
I look directly down at the Gomerish-looking THING 2 (it's rather small) while it continues smirking but looks away.
That's good. I've established dominance over THING 2, which, with it's silly smirk reminds me of the inbred banjo playing kid in the movie Deliverance, but THING 1 which is taller than THING 2, is, in the parlance of our times, STILL TRIPPING HARD.
It's still seethingly mad, about what, I can't begin to fathom, and not speaking as it jerks away from me to scan my item and shove it forward.
Having never experienced this level of ridiculous insanity before... I suddenly find myself in THE TWILIGHT ZONE with the psycho THING 1 and the dim-witted THING 2 and everything feels like it's happening in SLOW MOTION.
This time-dilation effect gives me a moment to reflect on what I'm observing and postulate a meaning behind it all...
It appears to me that what the psycho THING 1 is doing is a 'show' to impress the dim-witted THING 2 and judging by THING 2's face which continues to contort and smirk with goofy delight, THING 1's efforts are paying off and winning it over in a big way.
God, I hope these two produce non-viable eggs when they hook-up later.
But now it's time for me to pay...
THING 1 has scanned my item and has resumed it's PSYCHO DEATH STARE.
As the faux psychologist in me observes this strange insanity play out I realise that the fuel for atleast some of this demented psycho-drama must be THING 1's low self-esteem, due primarily to a negative body image because THING 1 looks like a more deranged version of serial killer Aileen Wuornos. Yuck!
I wonder how many dead bodies are in it's past...
As I begin to insert my credit card into the reader an awful and ungodly smell of what I can only
When i was younger,
i liked playing roblox a lot. one time my friend invited me to play robeats together, but it was so hard that after that it seemed like my fingers were traumatized and i couldnt type a sentence without making at least 3 typos.
my fingers are still traumatized to this day... to the extent that they even made typos irl. /srs
https://redd.it/111y7pg
@r_funnystories
An eight year old HAD HER FUCKING PERIOD AND DECIDED THAT THE ROBLOX CHAT WAS A GOOD PLACE TO YELL THAT HER PU$$Y WAS BLEEDING
this happened right now. Was playing some Roblox game where you wait, and wait for the game to end and this eight year old just said 'MU PU$$Y IS BLEEDING" (obviously she didn't actually say pu$$y) and asked me for advice, I'm a guy.
https://redd.it/1118m6i
@r_funnystories
A short funny (ironic) story from a closeted biromantic
Posting this here cuz I’m still in the closet so there’s not many people I can share this with irl
When I was in high school I was crushing on this girl but she made it clear she wasn’t into me at ALL. For example, she always seemed annoyed when I hung around her or when she invited the other girls out for drinks after school and I tagged along. Or when she wanted to invite the other girls to go shopping or something she’d make up some excuse for why I had to stay behind like “We actually need you to stay here and make sure no one touches our belongings while we’re gone” or something along those lines. She’d even often pull the other girls away somewhere else because she didn’t want me to be apart of the group. In hindsight, she was kind of a “mean girl” to me and I don’t even know what I really saw in her but that’s besides the point.
Anyways, one day I was walking with her and she looked past me over at a boy who went to school with us and said to me “Hmm, I never noticed before but insert his name here is very attractive.” I instantly felt a wave of jealousy wash over me and I built up a sort of resentment towards him.
Initially, I kinda started treating him the way SHE treated ME where I’d be passive-aggressive whenever he was around or send subtle hints I didn’t want him around me or my friends. HOWEVER. I caught myself early on and realized I was in the wrong. He couldn’t help the fact that the girl I liked, thought he was cute. So I turned my behavior around and started treating him kindly. I smiled and greeted him whenever I saw him, made conversation with him often, invited him places, and was overall warm and welcoming to him because I wanted to make sure I didn’t make him feel the same way the girl I liked made me feel. I still envied him but I tried my best not to let it show.
Fast forward a few years later (Present day). Now I’m crushing on him BIG TIME. I also found out he was crushing on me back when I was jealous of him. Pretty ironic, huh?
https://redd.it/110o5ge
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When i got my license…
I was 16 (I’m a female) and just got my license, my dad gave me the old family car. He taught me how to change the tires and how to check the oil to see when it needed to be changed. I checked the oil every few days.
He did not tell me about the fuel gauge, because it’s common knowledge and self explanatory, but i was so busy worrying about the oil that i never looked at the fuel gauge and broke down coming home from school later that week.
My dad had to come pick me up and i was crying because i thought i had been so careful with the car and i didn’t know how i “broke” it. My dad took one look, pointed at the fuel gauge, and told me “you’re out of gas, you’re supposed to fill up gas before the needle hits the E”
We still laugh about it to this day :)
https://redd.it/110fzab
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My childhood antics
One day, one of my older sister’s best friends came over to hang out with her. They were in middle school, and I was four or five at the time and had occasional temper issues. I got really angry at something, my sister recalls, and got sent to my room. I got so pissed that I threw all of my books and toys everywhere in my room whilst screaming at the top of my lungs, and after finishing chucking the books at my walls, I proceeded to push the empty bookshelf down the stairs. The two of them and my mom were all still downstairs, and all they heard was my door whirl open followed by scooting and then a fast, synchronized THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP down the stairs. When they went to investigate, they saw what I had done. It was one of those kid book shelfs, so no damage had been done to the wall and the matter wasn't all that serious, but it was enough to make all three of them nearly piss themselves.
https://redd.it/1107umt
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Giant fail
One time when my brother was bouncing on the trampoline he bounced weirdly and since there was no net he just hit his face on the bar of the trampoline
https://redd.it/10xbs48
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I was stupid as a kid
When I was about three I was really into riding in my cousins go-cart.I think my cousin was In high school so my mom and my grandparents trusted him to dive the go-cart.He was at my grandparents and asked if I wanted to ride in it and of course I said yes.So we went to go ride it.It’s also important to note that the go-cart had no windows and had a piece of sheet metal as a door.As soon as we hit about 30 miles per hour I thought it would be a good idea to reach over the door and try to touch the ground with my hand as we were moving.I bent over the door a little to far and fell out of the go-cart luckily I was not seriously hurt but it gave and my cousin a good scare.
https://redd.it/10u5sm6
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Finley the ambidextrous wannabe fish
Once upon a time, there was a little fish named Finley who lived in the ocean. Finley had always been left-handed and found it easy to swim and do other tasks with her left fin. However, she wanted to learn how to write with her right fin and become ambidextrous.
One day, as Finley was practicing her writing, a group of sharks swam by and interrupted her. The sharks were in search of food and noticed Finley, They told her that they were in need of crypto to start their underwater weed farm and offered to buy her from her family so they can sell her to humans for bitcoin.
Finley was scared and didn't want to be sold, so she tried to swim away, but the sharks were quick and blocked her path. Just when she thought all hope was lost, a wise old turtle appeared and offered to help.
The turtle told Finley that she was an excellent swimmer and that she could use her skills to escape the sharks. Finley listened to the turtle's advice and swam as fast as she could, using her left fin to make quick turns and dodge the sharks.
As she swam, she continued to practice her writing with her right fin. She discovered that with each successful escape from the sharks, her writing improved. Before she knew it, Finley was able to write just as well with her right fin as she could with her left.
Finley eventually made it back to her family and was greeted with open fins. They were amazed by her new writing skills and were proud of her for outsmarting the sharks. From that day forward, Finley continued to practice her writing and became known as the fastest and most talented ambidextrous fish in the ocean.
As for the sharks, they were never able to catch Finley and eventually gave up on their plan to sell her for crypto. They decided to start their underwater weed farm using other means (only fans) and left Finley and her family alone.
Finley learned that with determination and hard work, she could achieve her goals and overcome any obstacle. She was also grateful to the turtle for showing her the way and was inspired to help others who were in need.
https://redd.it/10r4amw
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My parent's were on America's Most Wanted...
When I was born, my mom and dad were on the run in Corpus Christie, Texas after kidnapping her oldest daughter (5) from Ohio. I was born there. She had my sister for 10 months before her father found her!
These events occurred in late 1979-1980.
https://redd.it/118ltc9
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my dad paid homeless people to watch over me
So I'm half Norwegian and half Brazilian, when I wax 5 we moved to brazil. It was 1987 just after the dictatorship was over so things were a bit tense. And then came the 90s and things got wild. It's a miracle any of us survived.
My parents would go out to bars and restaurants and I would always tag along. I usually hang at the back with staff playing dominoes and drinking coke from glass bottles. Life was sweet. Eventually, I would get sleepy so my dad would just follow me to the car where I would sleep in the baggage room. It was a station wagon, so I had a lot of space. Then my dad would find a homeless person asking for money on the sidewalk and give them a little money to keep an eye on me. They all called him patrão, which means boss.
A few times I would wake up. When that happened I would just litt my head and look for my homeless guy. I just had to look for the one that locked eyes with me. And I always found him, he would nod and tell me he was going to get patrão. Out came my dad and all was fine. It worked every single time.
So thank you to all the homeless people that kept watch over me while I was sleeping in the car. I thinks this is funny because there is so much that could have gone wrong, but yet the system worked.
https://redd.it/1174qca
@r_funnystories
So my body wash wasn’t actually body wash…
So I’m at the store, without my reading glasses which I now know is entirely unacceptable. As I pass the toiletry section I remembered I needed some body wash for my gym bag. I grabbed what I thought was one of those Uber healthy, organic, fair trade, etc body washes in the travel sized part of the isle. The fancy packaging broke thru my hazy vision just enough to convince me this is what I need, so In my cart it went.
Fast forward to my early morning post workout shower at the gym before work. Of course I’m running late so I grab my fancy new “body wash” (still operating under the assumption it is in fact body wash) and strut to the shower feeling good about my healthy choice. I proceed to soap up my nether regions but then begin to wonder why I can’t seem to wash the soap off my “wedding tackle”. My skin remains as slick as snot. Let’s try hotter water I thought. Now I find myself clinging to the wall of what I’m hoping is a clean public shower in a failed attempt at avoiding the magma stream coming from the shower head. My hand, much like my Gentleman's Bagpipe, is also slippery but I finally am able to return to cooler waters. I’m scrubbing and rubbing and I’m positive those within ear shot of my shower stall assumed some “self congress” was in session. This “soap” was a brand that was new to me and I learned later it was in fact, ultra dry hair conditioner.
I tried and tried to rinse it off with little success and I couldn’t stay there all day, so I just toweled off, dressed and went to work. What’s the worst that can happen, It’s just conditioner.
Well, about lunchtime the comments began to trickle in. “Something wrong? You’re walking funny”, “Feeling ok?”, Etc. So I confided in one coworker friend who could hardly contain his laughter and I now know also snorts when he laughs really hard. (Thanks Gary) I guess I didn’t realize not only have I been scratching muh groins off and on all morning, but my walk is a bit “hippy”, as he described it thru tears of laughter. I guess the few times I’ve entered the break room I slide in one hip at a time. There is ZERO friction between my mud flaps and I didn’t realize that translates into an “erotically aggressive” saunter.
I couldn’t get home fast enough. I was in the throws of a determined nude power walk by the time my garage door was halfway down. I’m sure Rebecca from the HOA committee will have diagrams and a list of all the bylaws I violated at the meeting next week. I grabbed the mechanics pumice soap on my way from the garage to the house and flew into the shower. It took some convincing and rather aggressive scrubbing but my auxiliary interstate is now conditioner free and The Generals Musket has a robust, yet somewhat pensive shine about it.
The moral of the story is, don’t buy anything if you can’t read the label.
https://redd.it/115l2pi
@r_funnystories
Valuable lessons I learned being raised on a farm.
My story may not be as funny as others but just as educational so maybe you can relate in a different way.
Being raised on a farm I learned some valuable lessons when I was 12 years old. We had cows and horses and a mule on our farm.
​
I liked riding the horses but the first lesson I learned is don't let them run towards the barn. We had a 500-acre ranch that we managed for some lawyers. The first time we rode out very far to look things over was fun and I could get my mare to run or trot without any problems.
​
My horse was fine riding the fence to look for repairs that needed to be done, checking on the cattle, or herding them into different pastures.
​
My step sisters got the bright idea to see which horse was faster and could be first to the barn. I beat my chest of course and told them I would win. I did win by the way.
We took off racing through the pasture and I was doing pretty well. I knew I was going to win and was ready to claim my victory. All of a sudden she saw the barn. When she saw it she just took off like a flash. That was scary enough because I could barely hold onto the saddle.
​
I thought it would be over soon as we got closer to the barn but I was wrong. She was headed into the side of the barn and didn't want to stop. I barely turned her in time to miss the wall. Once she was headed back out to pasture I could finally slow her down.
​
I didn't do that again but that didn't stop me from trying to ride the cows or the mule we bought.
The cows were fine, boring, and really didn't care but they only went where they wanted to go so I tried the mule.
That was another mistake. As soon as I jumped on the mule I was on the ground looking up at the sky. It happened so fast I couldn't understand what went wrong. I thought "did I fall off or get bucked off"? I tried two more times to make sure. The same thing happened each time except the last time I got kicked in the head but not badly.
​
After that I never tried riding a mule that wasn’t broken already. The only things I didn’t try was a saddle or tying myself onto the mule. I didn’t think either one would have been a good idea.
https://redd.it/11584p0
@r_funnystories
Something Of Value
I stopped at 7-Eleven down the street from my house cuz I wanted something to drink and some homeless man walks inside and starts small talk with me.. I was in the mood to speak back and have a conversation, so I decided that I was not going to be dismissive.
I thought to myself "You know what? I got time and maybe this homeless man might have something of value to say... You just never know what ppl are going through. It must be hard to have a decent conversation with somebody when the rest of the world assumes that you're going to ask them for money."
Long conversation short, dinosaurs still exist. They just evolved and they hide in plain sight amongst the rest of the world because their camouflage mechanisms have evolved in such an extraordinary fashion.. Once he finds a way to expose them, he's going to become a literal billionaire and save California.. Before the conversation ended, he asked me if I had any spare change...
It's been a long f*cken night lmfao.
https://redd.it/114lb7s
@r_funnystories
describe as rotten eggs and putrid fish co-mingled with steaming shit enters my nostrils. THING 1 has apparently shit it's pants!
I hurriedly...
complete the transaction with credit card and THING 1 quickly and forcefully stiff-arms my receipt at my face.
Wow! THING 1 is the gift that keeps on giving! At both ends! I almost laugh as I take the receipt but I'm holding my breath and trying not to choke on the puke that I feel welling up in the back of my throat...
I must escape these TWO THINGS if I want to live!
Having emptied it's bowels upon itself, THING 1 resumes it's PSYCHO DEATH STARE, never breaking character.
'An Oscar winning PSYCHOTIC performance! Three thumbs up!!!' - says Gene Roger Siskel-Ebert of THE DAILY PSYCHOPATH
Because I'm such a nice guy and it will soon be Christmas Eve I still somehow manage to choke out the word, 'Thanks'. Again, THING 1 gives no reply. It just stares as it stands boldly and upright in it's invisible cloud of hydrogen sulfide and other noxious odors.
...Whew, I've survived almost a minute among these THINGS!!! This must be FOOD LION's version of Survivor.
I'm glad I can leave now and finally get away from THING 1 and THING 2's very draining, foul-smelling and psychotic mating ritual and join the real world of normal, sane and happy adult human beings who are full of Christmas cheer and start drinking.
As a last reminder of this night, THING 2 is still smirking like a little crazy jackass as I collect my Box Wine and leave.
I reported these two assclowns to FOOD LION on Facebook and the store manager, Lacresha, gave me a call and invited me to come to the store and pick up a $25 dollar gift card, which I did.
But I'll be redeeming this at another FOOD LION in an effort mostly to avoid THING 1's deadly shit clouds.
However, I'd like to thank THING 1 and THING 2 for helping me earn $25 dollars for less than one minute of smirk.
Oh, and one more thing...
Have A Merry Christmas! ;-)
https://redd.it/112ndhu
@r_funnystories
!!! NOT FAKE 2023 POLITICAL EVENTS ACCORDING TO MY MOM !!!
1) France will leave nato and join Russia. 2) America fears unification between Germany and Russia. 3) America will assassinate president Zelinsiky. These facts come from my mom's fucked up brain, her source is "I got my websites". SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE THE SOURCE.
https://redd.it/112g73j
@r_funnystories
That time I unintentionally called my teacher the hard r
So back in third grade, we had to do this one project where we would choose a teacher that we really liked and spell their name out with acronyms using positive words.I had an N at one point and didn’t know what to put, so I asked my friend M about it and he suggests the hard r. Innocent 8yo me asked him what it meant and he said caring. I happily turned it in. The next day, when we had that teacher, (music) she pulled me aside and asked me if I knew what it meant. I said it meant caring, and then she told me the truth . (SIDE NOTE: I somehow didn’t get into any trouble.)
https://redd.it/111uaxk
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My partner and I were in the middle of something, shifted positions then the pillow fell and unveiled a TastyCake I forgot about.
Laughed then got back to it.
https://redd.it/110tn50
@r_funnystories
I had explosive diarrhea in a Walgreens bathroom.
I was at the laundromat and my stomach started cramping. Then my stomach started making gurgling sounds and I ran out and I was panicking I asked the lady in the Walgreens where the bathroom was and she saw the fear in my face and she told me it's through the red door so I go and I look for a red door and there isn't one. I run to the front of the store and ask if she can show me. She tells me to give her a second because she had a customer. My skin starts feeling like ice and I'm panicking. She sees me and tells me to go through the door that says staff only and go to the left. I do that and I see the girls bathroom. I try to open the door and it's locked. I bang on that door and theres no answer. I go into the mens bathroom and I throw the top off the garbage can and dragged it to the toilet then I sit down on that toilet and I projectile vomited into the garbage can while I had explosive diarrhea. When I'm done I go to get toilet paper and the thing was empty. I started crying and looking around the room and I see a small roll of toilet paper on the other side of the bathroom and I stand up and walk across the bathroom with liquid shit going down my leg. I cried in that bathroom while cleaning myself up. It was so fucking embarrassing and I could not look that poor lady in the eyes while I left
https://redd.it/110mgrd
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I scared an old lady she had to leave the bus
3000 years ago when Prince of Persia the forgotten sands was released (video game 2010) i was taking a bus sitting behind an old lady when my phone rang, it was my friend who knew i already finished the game, frustrated as he was he asked me how could i kill the first boss and ofc nobody could hear his question but everyone on the bus heared my answer that was "oh man i hate that piece of shit so bad, just sneak behind him don't let him see you then at the right moment stab him with your dagger and keep repeating it until he's dead" needless to say everyone was looking at me in a weired way but the old lady looked back to me in shock and left the bus the next station.
https://redd.it/110bz2m
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I’m at the point of stressed out of where I could prob have a panic attack and fight a bear at the same time. I just bought myself a barbie hot wheels car.
https://redd.it/10z7pxm
@r_funnystories
funny stories
tell me the funniest story you have for a podcast
https://redd.it/10ufu7c
@r_funnystories
AI generated story about the fight between biden, putin and jinping.
Once upon a time, there was a great international conflict between the three most powerful leaders of the world - Joe Biden, Xi Jinping, and Vladimir Putin. The cause of the conflict was not clear, but rumors were spreading that it was about the control of the world's natural resources and power.
Joe Biden, the President of the United States, was known for his intelligence and diplomacy. He had a vast military power at his disposal and a deep understanding of international relations. Xi Jinping, the General Secretary of the Communist Party of China, was known for his strategic mind and strong leadership. He had the support of one of the world's largest economies and a rapidly modernizing military. Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia, was known for his cunning and determination. He had the support of one of the world's largest nuclear arsenals and a long history of successful military operations.
The three leaders met on a neutral ground to settle their differences. At first, they tried to find a diplomatic solution, but their negotiations failed, and they were forced to resort to violence.
Joe Biden, with his intelligence and military might, took the lead in the fight. He made quick work of Putin's forces, using advanced technology and tactics to neutralize the Russian threat. However, he soon found himself facing a much more formidable opponent in Xi Jinping. The Chinese leader, with his strategic mind and powerful economy, was able to counter every move Biden made, forcing the fight into a long and grueling battle.
As the battle raged on, it became clear that neither leader could gain the upper hand. In the end, both Biden and Jinping were left battered and exhausted, unable to continue the fight.
Just when it seemed like the conflict would never end, Vladimir Putin emerged from the shadows, wielding a secret weapon. He revealed that he had been secretly developing a new type of technology, one that would give him the power to control the minds of his enemies. With this new weapon, Putin was able to force Biden and Jinping to lay down their arms and surrender to him.
In the end, Vladimir Putin emerged as the victor, having outsmarted and outmaneuvered his opponents. The world was left in shock, wondering how this once powerful leader had been able to gain such an incredible advantage. However, the true extent of Putin's power was yet to be seen, as he now had control over the minds of the world's most powerful leaders.
The end.
https://redd.it/10tu4fc
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Math teacher makes mistake
Today in math our math teacher was doing a problem where we had to find the weight of kangaroos, seals, polar bears and elephants (this isn’t elementary it’s algebra)and after finding out 6 seals was 3 kangaroos she put 3 k’s up over the seals and everyone started giggling and she noticed we were laughing and asked why and I said “maybe you should put 3k instead” and she looked up at the board, “KKK” and then she facepalmed, erased it then thanked me.
https://redd.it/10qi4xv
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