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Story to tickle your belly @reddit2telegram @r_channels JEET is the administrator
A policeman catches a man with some weed in his pocket.
“You’re going to jail for all that marijuana in your pocket!” the policeman stated.
“But officer, this weed isn’t mine. It keeps appearing in my pocket every time I flush it down the toilet.” the man replied.
“Oh, really? This I gotta see. If you can prove it, you’re free to go!” the policeman challenged.
The man takes all the marijuana out of his pocket and puts it in the toilet. He then pulls the handle and watches it go down the drain.
Several minutes go by and nothing happens.
“Well, why hasn’t the weed appeared back in your pocket?” the policeman asked.
"What weed?”
https://redd.it/142t334
@r_funnystories
Red wine
Anyone got any stories about the woman in the white dress with the red wine stain
https://redd.it/140pm7p
@r_funnystories
i made this with Inferkit
Squirps is an alien who made friends and they are named Mario, Luigi, Mario, and Tippi Squirps. They move around the planet in their space ship because they have to stop and get some chocolate from the bad guy Toad. Mario has been protecting them and doing things in their name and they found Bowser who then burned down the ship. They also tried to come in and get Mario and his friends, but he has been keeping the fact that he is actually a frog secret. The only thing that Tippi knows is that the chocolate was from a cave where its made from dead bodies of dinosaurs. Mario tells her that he has to keep his secret from Luigi because he isn't ready to be a [[BIG SHOT\]\] and so Tippi and her friends are running from Mario and his friends when he gets in a fight with Mario and then Mario died so Tippi told everyone that it was Mario who killed Mario and then everyone just realized that he was a BIG SHOT. Tippi then was shaking because he was a big shot, so she jumped in the air and got Mario and his friends in their space ship so they could see Spamton G spamton who was from the same planet. They also had to stop them because they had cheese to use on the space. While this was happening Squirps said, "We need to get cheese, Mario". Everyone was confused and asked if that was really cheese because Squirps was gay!
After Luigi and Tippi did their thing they had to come back and make some cheese so the cheese could use on the space cheese. When they came back they were beating up Mario because he didn't come back alive because well mario killed mario, so then Squirps was shaking because it was the news that Luigi was dead and he was thinking it was funny and he even made some cheesy puns. Moral of the story is that you gotta tell your friends that you are gay because they will laugh and it will make you feel better.
https://redd.it/13zw5jv
@r_funnystories
Princess and her weird condition for marriage
There was a princess and she kept a condition that she will marry that person who will drink three glasses of her spit. Many could not even start. But there was one guy who drank 2 glasses and suddenly he stopped. Princess asked him "oh you are also giving up?" And he replied "no dear princess.. i was chewing your cough"
Does anyone know any similar stories? I found this one ages ago god knows from where. Hoping to read more quirky stories like this!!
https://redd.it/13xij7y
@r_funnystories
The homosexual atheist incel HellsAtrium had a meltdown after Reconnight rightfully called Pandemic Studios a bad game company that deserved to go defunct
The homosexual atheist incel HellsAtrium had a massive gay meltdown after Reconnight rightfully called Pandemic Studios a bad game company that deserved to go defunct.
Hellsatrium phoned me up crying on the phone about it but I got sick of hearing his whining and told him to grow up.
https://redd.it/13vebvp
@r_funnystories
Ew I don’t want to marry you
I was at a movie with my best friend and it took place in bali so I asked “when we get married do you want to go live on bali together?” My friend then replied “what?! I don’t want to marry you” i said “obviously not I wouldn’t want to marry someone ugly” it’s sort of an inside joke but I still think it’s funny
https://redd.it/13u8afk
@r_funnystories
A kid pretended to be homeless because his mom wouldn't get him a churro
Last December, I visited my fiancée's home country with her and our kids for the holidays. We first went to the city where she was raised, then to the one her family lived in, and then back to the first one.
On one of our last days there, we went for a walk on a large, slightly crowded street. According to my fiancée, said street is very popular and has a large homeless population. It's normal to get stopped on the sidewalk by someone asking for money or food.
Anyway, we walked past an alley with food trucks, including a churro one. As we were walking, a young boy (six years old at most) approached me and said, "Mister, can you buy me a churro?"
I stood there for a second, as I didn't understand what he was saying (my fiancée later translated it to me).
Then the kid's mom showed up, shouted his name and pulled him back by his arm.
My fiancée heard her scolding him that he couldn't ask strangers for stuff just because she said she wouldn't buy it. The boy started crying, "But I want a churro!", and the mom reminded him he'd just had cake an hour prior.
I don't know why, but I still giggle a little every time I remember that.
https://redd.it/13sv7cz
@r_funnystories
I’m in grade 9 I wrote and sent this to my teacher, hope he likes it let me know if you think it’s bad (it’s already sent he just needs to read it)
Johhny Wickens stops WW3 From happening using his skills as a former hitman, and skilled weapons and hand to hand combat specialties,
Act one, Johhny Wickens decides to adopt a dog and comes home to find his house has been robbed by the president of USA, the president Broke into his house to steal an old document regarding Johnny Wickens’ hitman days on an old case he had which even the great hitman “Johnny Wickens” couldn’t take out. This made the president doubt Johnny Wickens skills and thought he was not fit to have been a hitman, which is why the president thought it would be safe to break into Johnny Wickens’ house.
Act two, the president whose last name shall never be learned Obana and Johnny Wickens fight inside Johnny Wickens house, Johnny Wickens inevitably wins the fight, but Obana swears he will not lose the war, Johnnys dog is… Fine his dog lives.
Act three, the president is launching a full military attack on Johnny Wickens as he doesn’t like that he lost the battle against him, but first Obana needs to prepare for the fight, training montage, meanwhile Johnny Wickens tries to figure out why the president broke into his house, and his dog points him in the direction of the missing document on Johnny Wickens Ex-Hitman days. Johnny has flashbacks of the hitman case he couldn’t get, he felt disappointed about never could get that person, so he decided he wanted to fight the president to get his documents back so he can start the case again.
Act four, While Johnny is searching for the document President Obana launched the full-scale military attack on Johnny Wickens’ house only too discover that Johnny is not there, Luckily the dog was at the vet and was fine.
Act five, Johnny finds the document and when he turns to return to his house, Obana challenges him to a fight, Then and there, Johnny Wickens was prepared for this fight and accepted the challenge, Eventually Johnny Wickens won the fight and left after incapacitating the president, the president falls into a coma for the next 7 months so Johhny Wickens has plenty of time to find and take out the man from the document.
Act six, Johnny Wickens does a lot of work and tracing and tracking to find the man who was on the document, and eventually finds him, and kills his son after his son was sent to kill Johnny Wickens due to the man from the document finding out Johnny was after him again. This infuriates the man from the Document, and he hits Johnny with his car, they fight, and it ends with Johnny Wickens Winning the battle in the rain and the police coming and arresting them both…
Johnny put the president into a coma, killed many men, and he broke into the pentagon, and the presidents Home, He was sentenced to 284 Consecutive life sentences in a maximum-security prison…
The end
https://redd.it/13rwfu0
@r_funnystories
A Scholarship Submission
The prompt for the scholarship requested a funny story under 250 words. This is my submission.
Gerardo has been my friend for seven years. Once a scrawny track star my beloved idiot began weightlifting after high school. Now standing at 5'10 weighing nearly 190 pounds Gerardo is a cinder block of a young man. We made plans to visit a city to shop and visit a haunted house. Slasher night meant we had to avoid the actors or be "killed". Halfway through the forty-minute attraction, we reach a U-shaped path. Michael Myers approaches. Gerardo spots the murderer and jumps the fence making the U and beating Usain Bolt's records. Michael turns to face me, I sheepishly smile and say, "Black guys always died first in horror films" and point in the traitor's direction.
https://redd.it/13qaxty
@r_funnystories
Do you have a chainsaw?
Me calling my dad to borrow a tool for a project.
Me: hey, do you have an electric chainsaw?
Dad: No, I have gas powered one.
Me: Cool! I’ll be there in like 30 minutes to pick it up.
Dad: wait… why?
Me: tells this long convoluted story about how a bush offended me by poking me when I was trying to open the garage door.
Dad: how about I help you? You are pregnant, top heavy and accident prone. You don’t need to be wielding a 15lb chainsaw.
Me: thinks I should have gone and bought my own chainsaw to avoid this conversation.
Dad: I’m here for the chaos, we will cut down the bush. I just don’t want you to cut off your own leg.
Me: -.- fine help me cut down the bush.
I also didn’t tell my husband of this plan until it was already in motion. He would have said the same things that made sense. I was trying to be a strong independent momma that could do house chores too, despite the fact that I’m about 6 months along and can’t bend over very well.
https://redd.it/13p5pdh
@r_funnystories
Funny Stories Needed!!
We're the team behind the popular podcast "So What," where we dive deep into extraordinary life experiences and the lessons they teach us. Today, we're excited to announce that we're seeking amazing individuals with mind-blowing stories to join us on our show.
Are you someone who has lived through the extraordinary and wants to share your remarkable tale with the world? We'd love to hear from you! Our podcast focuses on engaging conversations that explore the triumphs, challenges, and wisdom gained from unconventional journeys.
What we're looking for:
1. Your craziest life moment: We want to hear about the wildest, most jaw-dropping experience you've ever had. Whether it's an epic adventure, an unbelievable encounter, or a twist of fate, we're eager to listen and share it with our audience. Get ready to blow our minds!
2. Share your story through a voice recording: Instead of just typing it out, we're inviting you to submit a voice recording telling us about your incredible life moment. This way, we can capture the authenticity and emotion in your own voice. It's like having a conversation with our listeners!
3. Down-to-earth personality: While your story should be mind-boggling, we also value guests who are relatable and down-to-earth. We want to create a comfortable and engaging atmosphere where you can openly share your experiences and connect with our audience.
How to submit:
To be considered for our podcast, please follow these simple steps:
Record a voice message on your phone or computer. Introduce yourself briefly and dive straight into your amazing story. Don't hold back on the details and emotions—it's your chance to captivate us!
Save the recording as an MP3 or WAV file.
Email your voice recording to thebinge22@gmail.com with the subject line: "So What Podcast Guest Submission - Your Name." Remember to include a brief written description of your story in the email as well.
Please note: By submitting your voice recording, you consent to its use on our podcast. If chosen, we may edit the recording for clarity or length, but we'll make sure to preserve the essence of your story.
We can't wait to hear your jaw-dropping tales and bring them to our listeners' ears. Get ready to join us on a thrilling journey of storytelling, inspiration, and life lessons. Let's make some podcast magic together!
Feel free to comment if you have any questions. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Best regards,
The "So What" Podcast Team
https://redd.it/13nwo6h
@r_funnystories
A weird dream I had once
I had this dream before and this was probably the first ever nightmare I know of. It was an arm making snake sounds. I was very young and was afraid to sleep in my own bed because it would be under the covers of my bed. I kept calling it a snake while explaining what was it because it a chopped off arm or a hand I felt.
https://redd.it/13n9ui8
@r_funnystories
ok so am I crazy or what? I keep hearing a buzz like a phone from upstairs but can never figure out what. my sister and mom heard it and thought it was me but it wasn’t?? so now I’m upstairs right!!! And I hear a buZz noise from downstairs like the wall between us I KID U TF NOT .
https://redd.it/13ljqd2
@r_funnystories
What to tell the admins
Me and my friend had a German project in German class i was not at school for most of it and he did most the work, the project was five places you'd travel and what you'd do there, simple right, well he made itnthay we were traveling in a Panzer(German tank) so we looked like Nazis too(I'm polish) and 4 semi normal places just some cities near here but put in things like swimming then it was a pic of a dude face down in water, but the last destination was "Ukraine" the activities translated to English were
Enjoy the Frontline
End up in Prisoner of war camp
And
PUT PIPE BOMBS IN A CHILDRENS HOSPITAL
AND I FUCKING LEFT IT IN THE FINAL AND WHEN WE GOT UP TO PRESENT PEOPLE WERE LAUGHING THERE ASS OFF AS OUR TEACHER WROTE US UP
lucky we didn't add the extra location bc the next layer was gonna be hell and the activities were
Sit in satans lap(with Rizz)
Let a demon put a red hot poker up my ass
And burn
And the whole project is in German which makes everything look agressive asf
What should I say to the admins and my parents??
https://redd.it/13l7un8
@r_funnystories
One bathroom problems
My brother was about to have his shower and all of a sudden I needed to do a number 2. So, I knocked the door, “hey I need to take a poo”. He’s understandably irritated but leaves the bathroom for me.
I do my business, and I shout out “I’m done!”. I assumed he heard me and was on his way to the bathroom. So, I left the light on because he’ll be there in no time.
I go into my room and I remember, “oh, I need to renew my library card”, I have the motivation to listen to audiobooks and its free using library services! (Reminder to support your local libraries). Anyway, I call them because I can’t find out how to do it online, and the librarian picks up the phone after just one ring! Amazing!
“I just want to renew my card”, I say. “That’s perfect, I can do it now. Do you have your card with you”-the librarian says. Ofc I did, I work customer service so I know that one should always be prepared for a call. Just as I was about to respond, my brother noticed that the bathroom light was still on and he screams “YOU’RE STILL POOING?”. It was so loud, the walls are so thin in this house and in that moment my phone was on loud speaker because I had expected the call to ring out. He opens the door and noticed I’m on the phone. He closes it , and I can hear him laugh.
I had to mute my mic for a sec because I couldn’t contain my laughter. And even when I unmuted, I was fighting for my life calling out those library card numbers. Once the call was over, I had a good ass laugh lmao!
https://redd.it/13k8d9v
@r_funnystories
IGNORANCE AND EMBARRASSMENT
I spent the night at a guys house and the next morning I borrowed one of his shirts to wear. I hate wearing guy clothes, they are no way a flattering fit for me, but i had no other choice. The t-shirt had the letters DP. I remember thinking DP?, whatever, probably racing fuel or something, since most of his shirts were branded with something off road or motocross.
First thing I did was take his two dogs for a walk. I noticed the passerbys were a little more friendly today. One even gave me the thumbs up. I thought maybe the dogs and I looked so out if shape people were genuinely happy to see that were trying to improve our health.
After a long walk the dogs and I head back to the house, so I could do some much needed cleaning as I had promised, before going home.
My friend called me from work and asked me to run an errand for him and I did. Honks and waves continued, along with speechless stares. I beginning to feel a little self conscious.
Later, about noon, on my way home I get a message from my sister asking me to get a few things from the grocery store. I should have never mentioned that I was on my way home. When arrIving at the store I look down at my clothes, really wanting to change into my own clothes, but reluctantly, I go into the store, pay for my items and leave. This is going well, I thought, maybe I should get a few more things I need before going home.
I go to a local restaurant to get something to eat. It was packed with workers on lunch break. Coming out of the place a truck drove by the driver honked and waved. Why is everyone so fucking happy today, I asked myself.
While I was out and about I also go to hardware store and buy a garden hose repair kit . One of the employees walked past the aisle I was on and when i said hello he walked backwards a few steps to look again. I am a regular customer, but today it seemed he didn't recognize me. I knew I had a rough night, but how bad could it be?
My last stop was the gas station. While I am paying the clerk I notice some high school kids whispering giggling and pointing my way. "When I get home I am definitely checking my back for a post it note that says kick me!" I said to myself.
Finally home! Since I am wearing these guy clothes I should do some yardwork. So I mowed the lawn. The neighbors stared.
I am so tired after this full day I go to bed early and I sleep in my clothes. I wake up to someone knocking on my door. I open the door. Its my friend jennifer. She looks at me and says, "girl what the hell are you wearing?" I say, "I don't know, some shirt that doesn't belong to me." "Take that damn thing off!" she says. "DP", she chuckles. "Wait, you dont know what DP means do you?" she asks. I don't answer her. "Dual penetration, thats what it means," she says shaking her head and laughing loudly.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I responded.
https://redd.it/140zvle
@r_funnystories
My Father Was Attacked By Kidneys
This happened yesterday. My father was about to eat a traditional romanian food which contains kidneys, livers etc. My mother heated It on the microwave and my father was seated at the table. When he got the plate he was about to eat the first kidney, but instead, the kidney literally jumped of the plate to my fathers face. Then, about half of the kidneys and livers started either exploding or jumping all over the kitchen, the walls and mostly, all over my father, his face and body. He was being attacked by kidneys and livers. He jumped out of the chair after he was assaulted by kidneys and started swearing while jumping and doing what looked like a traditional Irish dance. While swearing and jumping he run to the bathroom and came back with burns. The kidneys attacked him and they won!!!
https://redd.it/140d388
@r_funnystories
Haven't thought about this in years
Me and my two best friends growing up were playing outside, when we saw a guy running full speed up the sidewalk in our direction. He was running past and my one friend goes "what'd you steal this time?" The guy slows down for a sec and goes "fuck you!" Lol
https://redd.it/13xp7k6
@r_funnystories
I destroyed the bathroom and now she stopped texting me
Let me clarify what i mean by destroy. That day i had eaten two bags of doritos with a lot of nacho cheese. Not the tiny 50 cent bags but the family size. The girl i was interested in invited me to watch a movie at her place. Things were going well until that first sloppy fart ripped through the silence. I asked to use her bathroom and she pointed down the hall.
Once inside i proceeded to unleash the most foul bowel movement I've had in my life. It was loud and almost cartoon like. I held on to my knees and was almost brought to tears by the vicious explosions behind me. She knocked on the door and told me in qoute, "Your ass stinks, get the hell out." Do to the fact she could smell it throughout the f house. I had been in there spilling my soul into the toilet bowl for about 15-20 minutes straight.
Once finished, i stepped out exausted as if i ran a marathon. I tried to apologize but she simply pushed me, swearing angrily that her apartment smelled like a sewer. She wasn't wrong but i still think it was an over reaction. Im sure she blocked me after that because i haven't heard from her since.
https://redd.it/13xan9y
@r_funnystories
Pigskin gay atheist incel HellsAtrium aka Andrew has had numerous sock puppets accounts of his suspended. Accounts such as Namiegumiho, TattedBro, Bashbrostagteam, Michaeldsuarez and many many more. Scicosmic is responsible for the banning of each one
Pigskin gay atheist incel HellsAtrium aka Andrew has had numerous sock puppets accounts of his suspended. Accounts such as Namiegumiho, TattedBro, Bashbrostagteam, Michaeldsuarez and many many more. Scicosmic is responsible for the banning of each one and HellsAtrium continues to have a mental breakdown each time he gets banned from Reddit.
https://redd.it/13vednw
@r_funnystories
guy that bullied me in middle school thinks im attractive now?!
i (18F) was bullied by these group of guys in my middle school PE class. im naturally very thin and tall, so they would call me names like skeleton and chopstick; they’d also throw around my backpack because they thought it was funny to pick on me for my appearance.
fast forward to highschool, i would post pictures of myself on my story, and i’d see an account liking ALL OF MY POSTS… and to my surprise it was one of the guys that bullied me in middle school! he’d respond to my story with “😍” too, and i usually post pictures of my body (me in a dress, face covered for example) and he’d like it… honestly so ironic lol i just thought i’d share! he also texted me right now trying to strike a conversation, but i ignored him 💀
https://redd.it/13tryq9
@r_funnystories
Car accident settlement offer
Here's a funny real life story.
Was rear ended at a red light last July. Driver was going 45ish mph. Didn't even apply the brakes, admitted it too.
Went to the chiropractor for back and neck pain.
After two months it wasn't helping so I went to see two pain management doctors.
Was poked with about 14 needles over a period of another two months. Still wasn't helping the pain.
Finally went to see a neurologist who sent me to get an MRI and discovered 3 completely torn disc's near my vertibre.
Said surgery is highly recommended.
Got the first offer from the insurance company today.
"We'll give you 2k" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😒😒😒😒
The f*ck?!
https://redd.it/13s1ssw
@r_funnystories
I was almost born on my kitchen floor!
I’ll start off by saying that my brother (who is 17 months older than me) was born two weeks early. I was born two weeks late. On the day that I was born, my grandmother was supposed to come and watch my brother while Dad took Mum to the hospital. But Granny Dearest took her sweet time getting to the house.
Mum was in the kitchen doing dishes, and whenever she’d feel something, she’d get down on all fours and do her breathing exercises, and then she’d get back up and continue with whatever she was doing. She did this a couple of times. When Grandma finally walked in the door, she saw Mum on her hands and knees and said, “What are you doing on the floor?” Mum went, “I’M HAVING A F***ING BABY!” Turns out that Grandma thought it was another false alarm, so she went to church, and then she went food shopping. Dad took Mum straight to the hospital. I was born not even 15 minutes later.
Still makes us laugh when we think about it.
https://redd.it/13qnn44
@r_funnystories
My Father Embarrassed My Gf At The Checkout Counter Of A Dept Store
At the time of this story, my father had already had half his foot amputated due to diabetes. He had been on crutches for over 2 years before later making the decision to have his leg amputated just below the knee so he could be fitted for a prosthetic leg and get to walking again.
While he was still on crutches me and my gf, of just over a year, came to visit my parents. My parents loved her. They took to her like the daughter they never had. My father thought the world of her and would always try to pull jokes on her. Mind you, my gf could also be just as ruthless as us.
My gf, my father, and I went to a local department/grocery store. We finished shopping and were standing in line at the register. My father was 1st in line, my gf was behind him and I was behind her. As my father placed his items on the belt for the cashier he dropped a crutch. He bent down to pick it up and on the way back up he let out a loud fart. He straightened up real quick. The cashier turned around real quick and looked at my father. There was awkward silence until my father turned to my gf and said aloud, "My God, (gf's name)! The exit is right there! \~pointing towards the door\~ And you couldn't hold it until we're outside? You just had to let it go right here at the register? What is wrong with you? Now all these poor customers have to walk through your crop dusting!"
My gf's face slowly turned a shade bright red from embarrassment and anger. I kept having to turn my head away from her each time I cracked a smile from the scene before me. She stayed silent until we were outside just a few feet from the exit. I purposely laid back about 10 ft, knowing what was about to take place, so I could watch it all unfold. She hauled off and started to punch him after every sentence she yelled, "That was mean!" \~punch\~ "I can't believe you did that to me!" \~punch-punch\~ "You're gross!" \~punch\~ "Stop laughing! That was nasty!" \~punch\~slap\~ That was NOT funny! \~punch\~ My father was giggling like a little boy as he stopped each time to block her punches landing on his arms and shoulders.
We get in the car and although my gf and father are still trading words, I'm behind the wheel laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. My gf says, "It wasn't that funny."
When I gathered myself I answered, "Yes it was. But what was even funnier was the customers walking to the store in horror because all they see is an older teenage woman beating up a poor 50 something man on crutches."
This happened 31 years ago. 5 years later that gf became my wife. My wife and I still get the giggles whenever this memory comes up. Unfortunately we lost my father less than a month before our wedding. But we have tons of great memories of my father, such as these, that always brings a smile when we think of him.
https://redd.it/13pryy6
@r_funnystories
So What: It’s a podcast
We're the team behind the popular podcast "So What," where we dive deep into extraordinary life experiences and the lessons they teach us. Today, we're excited to announce that we're seeking amazing individuals with mind-blowing stories to join us on our show.
Are you someone who has lived through the extraordinary and wants to share your remarkable tale with the world? We'd love to hear from you! Our podcast focuses on engaging conversations that explore the triumphs, challenges, and wisdom gained from unconventional journeys.
What we're looking for:
1. Your craziest life moment: We want to hear about the wildest, most jaw-dropping experience you've ever had. Whether it's an epic adventure, an unbelievable encounter, or a twist of fate, we're eager to listen and share it with our audience. Get ready to blow our minds!
2. Share your story through a voice recording: Instead of just typing it out, we're inviting you to submit a voice recording telling us about your incredible life moment. This way, we can capture the authenticity and emotion in your own voice. It's like having a conversation with our listeners!
3. Down-to-earth personality: While your story should be mind-boggling, we also value guests who are relatable and down-to-earth. We want to create a comfortable and engaging atmosphere where you can openly share your experiences and connect with our audience.
How to submit:
To be considered for our podcast, please follow these simple steps:
Record a voice message on your phone or computer. Introduce yourself briefly and dive straight into your amazing story. Don't hold back on the details and emotions—it's your chance to captivate us!
Save the recording as an MP3 or WAV file.
Email your voice recording to thebinge22@gmail.com with the subject line: "So What Podcast Guest Submission - Your Name." Remember to include a brief written description of your story in the email as well.
Please note: By submitting your voice recording, you consent to its use on our podcast. If chosen, we may edit the recording for clarity or length, but we'll make sure to preserve the essence of your story.
We can't wait to hear your jaw-dropping tales and bring them to our listeners' ears. Get ready to join us on a thrilling journey of storytelling, inspiration, and life lessons. Let's make some podcast magic together!
Feel free to comment if you have any questions. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Best regards,
The "So What" Podcast Team
https://redd.it/13nwmgk
@r_funnystories
Sauce is Sauce (Canes Sauce)
Oh my freaking gosh I’m excited to share this hilarious story about my uptight sister in law.
Last month me and my wife were in the Salt Lake Valley, having fun and waiting to go to a concert. We just found out Post Malone opened up a Raising Canes. And we decided to go. An hour later, we get our food and head to our car to enjoy the sweet sweet tasty treat of chicken. This is when I realized that “Canes Sauce” is just basically fry sauce with a ton of pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. So, knowing my wife’s family loves Canes, I shared this discovery. Thinking, oh hey! It’s just “fancy” fry-sauce.
Before we get into the funny part here’s a little heads up about my sis-in-law. I have never met a more uptight person in my life until I met my sister in law. She is very particular about who she wants to talk to, and she plans everything. And tbh, very snarky.
Anyway, I sent a text and this is where the fun begins. She began her conquest to prove me wrong, and this was happening in the group family chat. She sent like paragraphs and explanations on why Canes sauce is not fry-sauce. And I wasn’t looking for a debate, but she made it into one. Not gonna like it made me laugh. I just wanted to be funny about it. But I can feel her anger in each text, so it was both funny and weird.
Luckily my awesome younger brother in law, and mother in law broke her tension. And I just sent a meme about sauces, just to say I really don’t care sauce is just sauce. And just left it at that. If you wanna see screen shots lemme know lol.
https://redd.it/13nifsp
@r_funnystories
Accidental beardlessness
My partner decides to trim his beard today as he's starting to look a little "wooly" but not quite mountain man yet, I do love his beard and while I appreciate the neatly trimmed version I also can't say I think it's unappealing when he takes a while to shave sometimes and it grows out a bit. His hair also needs a cut, which I'll do tomorrow. So, he grabs his clippers, marches off to the bathroom, and starts shearing away. (I should mention we share a tiny one bedroom attached bathroom cottage and our work desk is between the bed and the bathroom door, so easy view of the bathroom doorway). I obviously pay no attention to the buzzing sound of the clippers I'm pretty accustomed to hearing on the regular by now, when I hear "OH FUCK!" reverberating through the cottage from the bathroom. Obviously, I sit upright at my seat at the desk where I'm working, and pay attention but before I can ask what's wrong, he appears in the bathroom doorway, looking absolutely horrified and staring at the clippers in his hand as if it's morphed into some alien organism originating somewhere between outer space and the pits of hell. The next words out of his mouth "I didn't check the guard was on!". Still startled by the expletive exclamation, I look over to the bathroom doorway and see him standing there totally aghast with a slightly noticeably shorter beard in one section but about 75% of it is still intact pre-trim so he doesn't really look all that different at a glance. I've jokingly threatened him before that if he ever shaves his beard off, I'm out and considering 1. I've never seen him without a beard and 2. there's no way I'd ever ditch him for something so stupid and superficial, it's been even more of a joke. Anyway, needless to say he looks super weird without a beard but I still think he's a hunk and the best thing since sliced bread.he, however, is totally mortified, hasn't been without a beard in years, if not dacades, and is threatening (jokingly) not to leave the house before it grows back. He really doesn't look bad but definitely different, and I keep bursting out in giggles over the whole sequence of events and not his oddly beardless appearance but that obviously doesn't help. But hey, at last it's just hair and it grows back but the giggles will probably continue for a while!
https://redd.it/13n0pbm
@r_funnystories
Once apon a shit
One time in middle school i was shitting in our basement bathroom and i was rushing to shit and I didn't check if there was Toilet paper. When i sit down and fucking blow the toilet open and reach over for some tp and... Fucking empty. So I am then forced to PULL MY FUCKING PANTS UP and limp to the other stall, and it's empty so i check both paper towel dispensers... All empty, fml. So I then Waddle my way down the hall and up the stairsand down the hall, and im running into people I know and girls i was flirty with trying not to get shit everywhere on my ass and legs when i finally get to the first floor bathroom I stumble into the first stall and am greeted with the most horrific sight, a long hard black shit on the toilet seat, and there was no toilet paper in the either but on the floor layed a white tank top with black shit streaks. Sad but true, I then crawl my way to the next and final stall and my worst fear comes true, the is no toilet paper... I check the paper toilet dispensers and then are empty, at this moment I look to the ground in sadness, and I spy a S i n g l e u s e d t i s s u e, and to my dismay i am forced to choose between once used shit stained Tanktop or slightly used tissue, and the choice was not a easy one but I did choose the tissue. :(
https://redd.it/13l8kyb
@r_funnystories
When I punched a spider and my hair trimmer set hit me on the head
So I am terrified of spiders.
I use to have a wire rack in my bathroom that was about 6 ft up on the wall.
So I decide I’m gonna kill this spider on the wire rack, hanging out in the bottom of it, by punching it.
So I throw an upper cut at this spider, much harder punch than I needed to, and the wire rack goes up with the punch, pulling the screws half way out of the wall.
I had a box of clippers on the wire rack. Like a little box with a hair buzzer and attachments.
So I punched it right, and next thing that happens that set of clippers smacks me on the head lol
I punched it way too hard and the clipper box went up into the air, and smacked me right on the head when it was falling.
Wish I had it on video lol
https://redd.it/13l2rgt
@r_funnystories
my dad asked me to give him the street taco sauce and it gave me a memory
my dad asked me to give him the street taco sauce and it gave me a memory I forgot until now of when I was 8 and my grandma was trying to teach me Spanish and she started and the only thing I learned was “dame la salsa para tacos” ( give me the taco sauce “ and everytime I went to my grandmas for a year she would hug me while saying dame la salsa para tacos and one time I cried so hard about it that she had to hug me until I stopped crying
To this day that is still the only sentence I know in Spanish
story from my beautiful best friend kat ily🩷
https://redd.it/13jq99v
@r_funnystories