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Story to tickle your belly @reddit2telegram @r_channels JEET is the administrator
The Misadventures of Bob
Bob woke up with a start, his alarm clock blaring like a fire siren. He stumbled out of bed, tripping over his own feet and knocking his favorite potted plant off the windowsill.
"Great start to the day," he muttered, trying to scoop up the soil before it spread all over the carpet.
After a quick shower, Bob hurried to get dressed, only to realize he had put on his shirt inside out. "Well, at least it's a fashion statement," he chuckled, shrugging it off.
On his way to work, Bob stopped at his favorite coffee shop. As he approached the counter, he accidentally knocked over a stack of cups, sending them clattering to the ground. Mortified, he quickly apologized to the barista who just laughed it off.
Finally at work, Bob settled in at his desk, determined to make the best of the day. But fate had other plans. Just as he started to type an important email, his chair suddenly collapsed beneath him, sending him crashing to the floor in a heap of limbs and office supplies.
His colleagues rushed over to help him up, stifling laughter as they did so. "Bob, are you okay?" one of them managed to choke out between giggles.
Bob couldn't help but laugh too. "Just another day in the life of Bob," he said, brushing himself off and flashing a grin. "But hey, at least it's never boring!"
And with that, Bob picked himself up, ready to face whatever other mishaps the day had in store for him. After all, life's too short not to laugh at yourself, even when you're the one causing all the chaos.
https://redd.it/1b3s3px
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My friends tried to get rid of my insecurities while im asleep
Im a 19f and i live i a dorm with my close friends for they're privacy ill just call them apple 19f cola 19m cheese 19m and cherry 18f i think im ugly and my friends always disagree i sometimes get compliments but i don't believe it or i disagree with it. My friends thinks im gorgeous but i don't believe it one night i was sleeping on the bottom bunk of the bed me and apple share on, while i was asleep heard my friends walk around the room they were whispering i peeked a little and i saw them putting candles around the bunk bed i was sleeping on, they had they're blankets wraped around them chanting "your beautiful. You should know" over and over again they all looked like they were holding they're laughter while i opened my eyes widely looking at them awkwardly, then they sang What makes you beautiful by one direction..
https://redd.it/1b23p53
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Poo and slide
Last night, my husband came frantically running into theroom carrying our six week old puppy, who was pooping while he was running. Long story long, he stepped in a turd, screaming for me to help(I was doing dishes), he slipped and fell in the poo all the way across the hardwood, holding said puppy the entire time. He hit the back door and just started screaming that there was poo everywhere and they were both covered in it. When he fell I just saw his feet in the air, and the puppy. He protected her, but dear Lord. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard.
https://redd.it/1b02hty
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When I was a kid I did the magazine subscription prank
This pissed my relatives off to no end but we laugh about it now
Back in 2005 when I was 15 and my entertainment source was to mess with people, I would get those postcard sized subscription cards out of magazines, and fill them out with relatives info and check "bill me later" and send them in.
The biggest targets were my grandparents and my aunt on my mom's side, and an Uncle on my dad's side.
The idea started when I had a subscription to TV guide and I saw the insert.
So my relatives all got a TV guide in the mail, but then I started sending things really useless to them.
Grandma got Guns and Ammo.
My aunt was real thrilled when she got Playboy Magazine in the mail.
Then I'd start doing things like misspelling their names or using other names.
My Grandpa named John would get everything from Jon to Johnathan. My uncle Ralph would get magazines for Rolf and Alf.
And then I started using names of henchman from the Jim Carrey mask movie and comic series
So my relatives would get magazine subscriptions in the mail for "Sweet Eddy," and "Orlando Garcia."
I sent in a Cigar Afficianado magazine card as a gift subscription from my Aunt, to my Grandma.
My uncle would get things like "Bird Watchers Digest," and "Doll collector monthly," because yes, those are, or at least were, actual magazines.
Then I found insert cards that allowed you to check bill me later for actual goods, from companies like the doubles day book club, the Danbury Mint and the Bradford Exchange.
My grandparents got books and CDs. My aunt got a decorative plate and cheap jewelry, with the accompanying bills.
Anyway that's my story we laugh about now, I don't know if ur laughing or want to time travel and smack my 15 year old self lol, but yeah anything u want to know just ask.
https://redd.it/1azujkb
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Eat a lil azz wit it
I made a giant castle made out of my shite and I can’t stop laughing I woke up my mom and dad with the howling I’m doing
https://redd.it/1axleid
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I peed my pants at school today and my crush saw😭
Okay so basically I was in my history class which was my last class today and I had to pee like so fkn bad bc I was holding it since lunch. And I hate asking to go to the bathroom in history bc my teacher is really mean and like never lets me go to the bathroom anyway. And my crush is in my history class and he sits like right next to me and usually he's the only one I talk to in that class. But I was holding it for so fkn long and I had to go so bad but I didn't wanna ask to go to the bathroom bc I knew my teacher would say no bc class was almost over so I was just holding it.
And after a while it started hurting so I thought that I could just pee like a little bit to releve the pressure and then stop so I could hold it longer so I thought to myself I would pee for 5 seconds and then stop. So I started peeing but I had to go so fkn bad so it came out so fast and I literally flooded my chair like right away after like 1 second and my pee started dripping on the floor and everybody looked right at me 😨 it was splashing on the tiles so it was like really noticeable. And a girl behind me was like "Arianna is literally peeing" and some people were laughing at me. And so I just sat there and kept peeing lmao bc what was I gonna do at that point.
But after a little bit I just got up and the teacher told me to go to the nurse but I just ignored him and went outside and called my mom to pick me up lol. It was so fkn embarassing. Like it felt good bc I was holding it for so long but like literally everyone saw. And I wanna text my crush and say sorry for peeing next to him 😭 but idk if that's weird. Idk what to do I'm just like moritified.
https://redd.it/1awutp7
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Funny childhood story
Ok so does anyone remember the momo thing like the gost well anyway when I was younger my cousin showed me it for the first time saying she comes for children who don't behave or something like that I was so scared that I couldn't see it or I would scream out loud and make me shake with fear lol but nowadays it's still creepy af but I never hear anybody talk about it so anyone any similar stories to mine
https://redd.it/1avl4q6
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A dude has a bonkers order that I couldn't control myself from dying.
Today at Subway I come across a peculiar fellow in line. He was directly behind me, and I didn't pay much mind towards him and was going about my order. He gets to the first lady who takes the order and says he wants a footlong flatbread. Lady grabs the bread, turns around, asks what he wants on it, and dude says "flatbread". Now I thought he just wanted another sandwich and so did the employee. So she grabs another flatbread, slaps that bad boy down, and asks what he wants on his sandwich.
This sonofabitch says flatbread again. I instantly connect it together but she's lost more than a cow on the moon. At this point I'm starting to crack. She goes to grab another flatbread but is stopped by the man speaking up "No, you're not understanding. I want flatbread on my footlong flatbread". She's bamboozled, and even looks scared. She looks at me, and the moment she looks into my eyes I can see the lights are on, someones home, but they're frozen in disbelief. I couldn't handle it anymore.
I was wheezing in a Subway today. The guy was such a good sport and wasn't mad at me laughing. He got a chuckle out of it himself. I had to apologize to everyone for stopping the line. I got my sandwich went out to my car, and by the time I was pulling out the dude was sitting down and eating his flatbread flatbread footlong and the cashier was just watching him in confusion.
​
https://redd.it/1atp3ll
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The inappropriate College assignment presentation
It was maybe 2019 in college and the professor requested we do an assignment where we find advertising posters and we study them and see what the purpose and use of them was.
We were supposed to be learning about Logical Fallacies and advertising techniches and the picture that I decided to use for the project was a Burger King ad for a long burger and it is shown going towards a woman’s mouth and the positioning is very provocative.
I only picked it simply because I found it funny and described the aspect was mostly to appeal to men and mostly women. Despite the fact it’s a reference to BJs.
I did my presentation and what the professor pointed out was if there is text, look at the verbs to see what the advertisers use,
“Yearn, blow”
I randomly spouted out and added one word that was shown on the ad.
“Comes?”
And everyone just burst into laughter and we all just couldn’t stop laughing and I was done with the project.
It had to be the funniest moment in my life!
Hope you enjoyed!
https://redd.it/1atdjz5
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The Phantom of the Depths
In the realm where waters warm and soothing dwell,
Within my abode's communal well of health,
There I sat, 'midst companions in silent revelry,
Under the canopy of night, in whispered tales we delve.
When lo! A stirring 'neath the liquid veil,
A touch, a brush, 'neath waters deep and still,
A specter from the depths, its presence stark and pale,
A girthy phantom, veined and wrought, its form to chill.
A silicone sentinel, of length a foot and clear,
Adrift in thermal springs, it wandered far and near,
A relic of jest or token of forgotten cheer,
Emerged from shadowed depths to where the mortals peer.
An epic of the unexpected, in warm embrace we found,
A laughter born of surprise, in bubbling waters sound,
For in our shared communion, by chance we were bound,
To a tale of whimsy and wonder, in spa's serene compound.
https://redd.it/1ar3nzx
@r_funnystories
No, it's 'Starhorn'
When they were small our boys liked to have my wife tell them stories in the car; they specify the kind of story and which characters should be in it, then relentlessly interrupt her with added details and corrections while she tried to string the lot together. She became quite good at it.
For a time, the oldest was building an imaginary group of heros called the "Dragon Team" which consisted of dragons and "flyers". The dragon names were all two noun combinations like "Redwing" and "Greenfire", and he added new ones every few days.
One evening he introduced us to "Starhorn" -- except he reversed the nouns. From the back seat of the car. In his unclear diction. So the "h" sound somehow came across as a "p".
We both immediately asked for clarification, had a chuckle, and went on.
But as my wife told the story, she could not get the name the right way 'round, and every time she said it backwards, I would start giggling. After a few minutes, I started supplying the correct name to her as she approached saying it, which would start her giggling. We ended up sitting at a stoplight laughing like crazy people with both boys hollering at us to stop laughing.
We laughed about it at odd moments for months.
https://redd.it/1alkeu8
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Valentine's Day horror stories!
Hi there :)
I'm Adam, a writer for Vice in the UK, and I'm writing a piece about 'Valentine's Day horror stories', collecting some of the most hilarious or terrible stories from dates gone wrong.
Please share your absolute worst dates here or DM me so we can chat! Piece will be a funny one, I hope!
Thanks! Looking forward to hearing the stories,
Adam
https://redd.it/1al1r41
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Bug flew into my wife's dress.
I wanted to share this funny incident that happened a few days ago. My wife is a pretty brave woman, except when it comes to bugs. She hates them and even more so, is deathly afraid of them. Whenever she sees a bug, especially a cockroach or a spider in our house she panics and I have to kill it. One day we were at our neighbours house helping them in gardening. While she was plucking some weeds, a bug suddenly came from the plants and it flew right into the front opening of her dress and got trapped inside. She screamed loudly and started jumping and dancing around crazy trying to get the bug out. But it just wouldn't go off. Her dress was like a corset type and she was struggling to put her hands into the dress. The only way she could get that bug out was to take off her dress. I know this is cruel but I couldn't control myself and I fell laughing. The neighbour guys were also laughing. After a few minutes (which felt like hours for her lol) of struggling and going crazy the neighbour told her to get into the house and take off her dress. She ran into the closest room and locked it up. When she came out she looked like she had gone through a war. I was still laughing and boy, she got mad. She was ok later though.
https://redd.it/1akhfr0
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Humble Brag - "Wait untill you are in youn 30s..."
While working on a group project in college.
In regards to health, a classmate said "I feel like dog shit, just wait untill you are in your 30s..."
I thought: 🤔 Well I'm 32 and I feel great! I am east Asian and workout consistently so they probably think I just came from high school or in early to mid 20s. I should be nice.
And replied with a "Oh dam... shoot... that sucks, I am in no hurry to grow up." 😉
https://redd.it/1aj4j9w
@r_funnystories
I have finally become a journalist and a writer here is my first article
wewillalwaysben1ggas/5-reasons-cindy-steinberg-should-go-back-to-israel-952a91dce37e" rel="nofollow">https://medium.com/@wewillalwaysben1ggas/5-reasons-cindy-steinberg-should-go-back-to-israel-952a91dce37e
https://redd.it/1aic0bw
@r_funnystories
I farted so badly I could still smell it after 30 minutes
Short story but I think you’re going to enjoy this. So like a number of people In this world I have vision issues and have to wear contacts, I was just chilling in my room on TikTok, and had to go downstairs and take my contacts out before I go to sleep, people who wear Contacts know the drill. Wash hands, get case + cleaner, get glasses out. as I’m taking my second contact out the rumble that we all know and love so dearly hit me. The rumble of the stomach that just digested chicken, broccoli and other body clearing foods, slowly I feel it work its way down my stomach and I let out the deepest, wettest, and most miserable God awful fart you can think of. I mean this thing could kill. As I’m fumbling to get that second contact out my vision goes blurry and I’m ready to cross over via methane poisoning thanks to my brown starfish. I hurry and get that other contact out and grab my glasses out of the case and haul ass outta that bathroom turning on that fan and opening the window. I proceeded to stay downstairs for a little bit helping my grandparents get stuff ready for bed and I even had enough time to eat a bowl of ice cream. After, I got myself together and had to make the brave journey by the bathroom that was ground zero for my ww3 chemical warfare ass rip and hope for the best. I ran by that sucker and up those stairs and slammed my door hoping not to get a whiff of it again as it smelled worse than a rotting corpse. You should know we have very thin walls here so I could hear my grandmother walking towards to bathroom and as I heard her walk in it sounded like she had seen a ghost when I heard her yelling to my grandfather who was very confused as to what she had witnessed, she had unfortunately be a victim of my ass and genuinely thought a mouse had died under the sink 💀💀 if it was still that bad 30 minutes later I don’t dare enter that bathroom again.
https://redd.it/1b2s8pt
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I saw my ex girlfriend today. She told me her boyfriend had graduated “cuma Bin Laden” from university.
She asked me if I knew what that was, just to make sure. I said yes, knowing what she meant, and moved on so I didn’t embarrass her. Needless to say it was an iconic moment and definitely one of her funnier malapropisms.
https://redd.it/1b08qaz
@r_funnystories
let's write story
So how we do this is u guys comment and we see how the story starts and ends!: theme of the story is Mystery
https://redd.it/1azvt4t
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I ran on my treadmill naked.
https://redd.it/1azsc4p
@r_funnystories
Why the fuck this happens to me ??
When I was studying 9th or 10th (during covid-19) I had a friend on whom I was having a crush, I was like ok we can confess it later and I didn't say anything to her, after few days when we were talking (4 people were present there me, her and two of our other friends) something and just playing some games I don't remember what game it is, one of our friend just for fun he grabbed her mobile and found out she has a boyfriend and they are loving each other(by the way now they broke up), I was kind of depressed on that time and I didn't confessed anything to her, but still we were good friends. After that I came to college and after few semesters, I got a crush on a different girl from same department, this time I thought somehow, I have to confess to her, but history fucking returns itself now through one of friend I got to know she already have a boyfriend. I was like why the fuck this happens to me; you guys might think this is 2 time, but this same shit has happened to me for several fucking time.
I just thought if share this with someone I will just feel nice and don't get depressed, I cannot say this to any of my friends because they all are friends with my crush.
If you guys have any story like this comment down.
https://redd.it/1axbdk0
@r_funnystories
What’s your funny/horror salon stories
https://redd.it/1aw2m7h
@r_funnystories
The story from my childhood
Once, when I was a child, my mother took me to a psychologist because I was constantly talking to an imaginary friend. The psychologist then told me this: "Sasha, why don't you talk to me, come here and talk about everything that you talked to your friend." What did I ask him for: "And how much does Mom pay you for this?" He answered the truth. And I added: "And I communicate with my friend for free. Why would Mom spend money on something that can be obtained for free?". And then my mother realized that I was not an easy child and I did not need a psychologist.
https://redd.it/1atqtpp
@r_funnystories
The Fart Sponge
My dad told me this hilarious story at dinner the other day about a friend he had when he was in high school (about 30 years ago).
He had a friend named Mike who used to carry around this little soft ball sized nerf ball. He had peeled off the top layer of it, exposing what the ball was really made of, which was a sponge like material.
Whenever Mike had the ball with him and had to fart, he would squeeze this ball and but it near his butt/fart, and the ball would suck up the odor. It worked so well that he would even carry it with him to school, on dates and whenever he was out. He had this ball for about 2 years or so, and would also throw it at his friends whenever they came to his house. He said the stench of the ball was absolutely sinister. I can only imagine the odor that would spew out of it anytime it was squeezed or thrown 😂
https://redd.it/1atne0x
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Death by electric pool
I was a lifeguard when I was 24 working in a neighborhood community pool in Spain. It was nice, friendly families would come and enjoy. It was crazy. Families brought me full meals every day as Spanish are very friendly and kind. In my opinion, they also valued a professional lifeguard.
Throughout the mid-summer, I more or less knew every user. One day, an old man I had never seen came to try the pool. He was equipped. He had his towel, swimsuit, and flip flops. He looked confused, but well, I thought maybe it was because of being nervous as he wasn't familiar with the pool.
He said hello, I said hello, and he proceeded to leave his towel in a corner, and his flip flops. He went close to the pool, looked up enjoying the sunbathe, and took a deep breath with joy. He then proceeded to calmly enter the water through the stairs.
When he was mid-path on the stairs and the water level mid-body, he suddenly stopped, and his face of joy changed to a confused one. He was staring at the stairs' leg end area, the area that is attached to the floor on the surface of the pool.
As I am the lifeguard, I perfectly knew he was seeing a 2cm length cable coming out a little. The scared man quickly went up the stairs and went straight to me. He told me that there was a cable.
I explained to him that it was just the eath wire. I saw in his eyes that my explanation didn't end his nervousness. Patiently, I explained to him that an earth wire is a cable that discharges things, in this case, a pool. With my intention of calming him even more, I told him that such wire is an obligated requirement for an open pool license in Madrid.
He said "alright" and went to the corner where his things were. He grabbed his things and left.
I never saw him again.
https://redd.it/1asp5u3
@r_funnystories
The Ralph Nader Incident
During the 2000 election, I was an activist with the Baltimore Greens and did some campaigning for Nader. He ended up holding a speech at John’s Hopkins, and I worked the voter registration table there. To my shock Nader himself ended up sitting next to me at the table.
It was a hot summer day and humid as heck. The doors were open and the table was just on the inside, soaking up the sun rays.
Being so hot I decided to get something to drink from the vending machine. Considering how hot it was, I turned to Ralph and said, “I’m going to get myself something to drink. Would you care for any…”
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE SUGAR CONTENT OF THOSE SODAS ARE??? (Goes on an on ranting)
Damnit, I set Ralph off I think to myself. Oh well, I was still going to get myself something to cool down with, so I excused myself and went to the vending machine.
When I got back, I sat right back at my previous spot next to Ralph. I took my purchase and sat it at the front of the table right in between the two of us. A big ol bottle of water. H2O. No additives. Sugar free. Just water.
He looked the water and his face turned red. I could tell he was embarrassed.
Meanwhile, this little old lady comes up to the table.
“OH MY GOODNESS!!! ITS NEARLY A HUNDRED OUT THERE!!! DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK???”
As god as my witness, she grabs a solo cup, gills it from the water fountain, and hands it to him. I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle
https://redd.it/1ar2686
@r_funnystories
Got flustered talking to a girl.
Aight so I went to Chipotle yesterday, and as I'm making my order I noticed the girl making my food. She was CUTE! She was light skinned with amber eyes, had reddish brown hair (I think), and slender but gentle facial features. More important than all of that, however, was her attitude. SHE WAS GENUINELY PLEASANT! Sorry for yelling but some of you food service workers could take notes.
Anyway, I'm halfway through my order and she asks me what kind of beans I wanted. I froze for a minute and just started laughing 😹 (possibly blushing as well). I pardoned myself, she smiled and said it was ok, and I finished up my order.
Look I ain't no Bishop Magic don Juan, but it's been YEARS since I fumbled like that talking to a girl. I've gotten pretty confident speaking to people in general over the past few years.
I'm not lookin' for advice. I just wanna know if this has happened to anyone else.
https://redd.it/1al58pj
@r_funnystories
Grade 9 music
When I was in Grade 9 me and my friends dressed up and preformed triumph by wu tang in front of the class we got a 100%
https://redd.it/1akql5g
@r_funnystories
The time my mom knew something she should'nt have known.
This was when I was 13 so a long time ago, but i'll talk anyways. When my mom friend, i'll call her Amy was turning 38 me and my siblings went to this nice restaurant for her birthday. Well, when my youngest sister needed the restroom my mom went to take her in, and at the same time 2 bestfriends came in. Appearently the bestfriend 1 was having her engagment party and bestfriend 2 wasn't drinking, AT ALL. So bestfriend 1 found out that bestfriend 2 was pregnant, they kept talking about it and my mom found it funny. Then low and behold, half an hour later the bestfriend 1's party and bestfriend 2 were seated at the table near my mom. She said that they kept giving her glances since she knew their secret. We still talk about it sometimes and laugh. I wonder how they're doing right now.
https://redd.it/1aj6w3s
@r_funnystories
Omori fans thought Wolfenstein Supersoldier was a robot
I posted a meme called Who’s winning on r/omorimemes which put Aubrey (Headspace) against a Supersoldier from Wolfenstein The New Colossus and some of them legit thought that the Supersoldier was a robot.
https://redd.it/1aiibuh
@r_funnystories
I was accused of fraud at the age of 12
A few years back i had a small freind group of 2 other people and we used too always hang out by this small brook now one of these freinds was emotionaly manipulative and abusive freind he was homophobic transphobic and kinda racist i was always the but of the joke because i was the gay ginger jewish short kid with all the health issues. One day while by the brook he started to tell me he doesn't believe that i have a mixed family because i look rlly white and he said my grandad had schitsophrenia because of me this pissed me off so much and i punched him as hard as possible and we fought for about 15 minutes before i just run off now he has and older brother who fights all his battles for him and he set his brother on me and there was a period of time that i had to be careful what i did and where i went because he was trying to stab me but it was all sorted out by the school or at least i thought because during that little dispute i joked to my other friend that i would "Hack his accounts" at the time i did some "hacking" where i used data breaches in a python program to let me input an email and it would show me all asscosiated passwords this other freind told him that i made that joke i forgot about that and about a year later i got a text from an unkown number saying where the fuck are you very aggressive I was walking home at the time so i was out in the open in these texts he said its not fucking funny and what im doing is fraud now i had no idea what he was talking about but it turned out to be the abusive freinds older brother and he went to the school after beating me up and told them i had commit fraud and identity theft this made the school investigate me for literal fraud it was quite traumatic at the time but nowadays i think its absolutely Hilarious hope u find it funny too.
https://redd.it/1aiarf5
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