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Story to tickle your belly @reddit2telegram @r_channels JEET is the administrator
That’s one way to scare off religious solicitors.
So, back in 2011, I was majoring in theatre arts at the local college and was in the theatrical makeup class. It was the only class I had on Fridays and I frequently came home in whatever I had done that day in class to show my dad.
It was the week of Halloween and our teacher was teaching us “bloodies” (gore makeup), and my horror-obsessed, haunted house scare actor, “Fleet Street is the best stage blood” boasting self was going WILD. While most of the other students did a burn, a few bruises, maybe a gash on the arm…I made myself look like roadkill that also got mauled by a bear. It was A LOT, enough to get me pulled over by a concerned campus cop when I was leaving. I went home covered in fake blood, looking like hell and LOVING IT.
My dad told me to keep it on so my niece and nephews could see when they got there after school (they knew I had makeup class, I wasn’t going to scar them). So around 2:45pm, I hear a knock at the door. Well I decided to answer like a zombie to make them laugh.
I should note: I realize I should have probably checked to make sure it was them…
I answer the door slowly, dragging a foot, moaning “brains”…to see two Jehovah’s Witnesses go green and absolutely BOLT back to their bikes. I literally was still processing what had just happened as they peeled around the corner and my brother showed up with the kids…
To this day, my dad says he sees them actively avoid our door and once heard them refer to it as “the home of the devil.”
https://redd.it/1f4v3bl
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Drunk grandpa shits in neighbors shed for being an asshole.
My grandfather worked for a crazy bitch named Debbie who was a toxic bitch, she has bi-polar and she pops pills and over takes her medication.
One time, he was doing work over at her house while she was a-way for a couple days on vacation. When lunch break came, he came home and ate a BLT sandwich and washed it down with Milwaukee’s best ice beer.
When lunch break was over he went back to her house to finish the job, as he was working he felt his tummy rumbling and thought it was a fart but it turned into a shart and he shit all over the side walk, and went running up to her porch to open the front door to use her bathroom but it was locked, he starts panicking because he can’t hold his bowls much longer, he grabs a bucket and runs into her shed and has explosive diarrhea, after he was finished and felt relieved he puts the bucket of shit in the front seat of his truck. Right as he was gunna get back to work, he realized that he left a poop trail that went from the side walk to her front porch and to her shed. So he said fuck it and decided to not finished the job. As he got home he grabs the bucket and empties the diarrhea in a neighbors back yard and he comes in the house announcing that he shit himself while grabbing his ass. My grandmother yells “TOO MUCH MILWAUKEE,HUH?” And he yells back “DON’T BLAME IT ON THE BEER IT WAS THAT BLT THAT CAUSED IT” so he sits on the toilet and puts the bidet sprayer up high to clean his asshole and hops in the shower to clean himself. When he was done with all that he told us what happened and we just burst into laughter which he was not fond of and told us it’s not funny. A few days later Debbie called and ask why was the job half assed and why her shed smells like shit and why there’s a trail of it? And he told her what happened and that she deserved it for being a toxic bitch and for not paying him the full earned cash(she still owes today) from the last job she hired him to do.
https://redd.it/1f4by7t
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She literally Ran away from me at the end of the Date. Funny how bad it went.
It was a blind date more or less. I only saw photos of her. She was cute.
I had everything planned out. We would go for ice cream by the water. I scouted the location before hand. The timing of the sunset. The possible routes we could take.
On the day of, I was a little tired and downed a cup of coffee before hand. Mistake 1
When we meet, I found out she was a little foreign. But All good. I was able to get her laugh, you know chill and banter.
Good laugh - A little kid was a little too close to her. I'm motioned like I would make him fall over by pushing his head over.
We went outside ate ice cream, good times.
BUT THEN!!! The day before was humid, so a cluster of bugs descended on the ice cream. I got a little anxious suggested to ditch the ice cream and go for a walk by the water.
BUT!!! As we walked by the water, EVEN more bugs came!!! And I saw her starting to cross her arm. She was not having a good time. And this is when the coffee kicked in. I started to panicking and talking at 80 mph. 'Blah blah blah blah blah.'
Then the wind picked up and started blowing her hair everywhere!!!
So imagine me talking 'Blah blah blah blah.' Me patting the bugs away from her face. And tornado of wind and hair flying everywhere. The mixture of bugs and hair started getting into her mouth. 'Ptuff Putff Putfff'. It was a disaster.
But I finally found a spot to sit down. Got her to calm down and uncross her arm relax. And watch a sunset.
Thereafter, we started going home and in the car she said "I feel safe with you".
Inside: "Yes got this" Success Kid Meme.
Outside: Subtle nod
THEN!!! In the car there was a lul of silence. I said, the first thing that came to mind. "But Yo Psychedelic, crazy isn't it?"
She wearly said " Yeah... "
From there, As I was dropping her off. I turned to say goodbye. As I was turning my head I said "Good...". I saw her backside screwing away scurrying away. "...Bye".
Chilled out and I realized:
1. She's not from here...
2. She does not even know what psychedelics mean...
3. This little Miss thinks I'm a crazy person. And she LITERALLY ran away from me.
I went from Good to -> Bad to -> Terrible to -> Salvageable to -> A Disaster.
Hilarious how bad it went. 🤷 Init.
I'll let her simmer and msg next week. And plan for next next weeked. I know what she wants to do this summer and have some call back jokes.
Fun to persue: She's traditional and I want to have a family. Someone who would Respects and not yell me lol If that is possible.
Note: So happy I found the humor in it and not just beat myself up like before. First time pursuing this much. Kind of fun to persue.
https://redd.it/1f3dz8j
@r_funnystories
Can’t stop thinking about that dancer…
Can’t say I’m a seasoned vet of the clubs, only been to one I liked. But of my friends, who are of the “nerdy/relationship” variety I might as well be Hugh Hefner.
I started going to one just to kill time to avoid traffic one day, and get a few brews. Definitely stuck out like a sore thumb. Graphic tee. Sneakers. Sitting alone towards the back on a Thursday afternoon. I was practically screaming “never done this before”.
Saw the whole lineup of dancers, gave a few bucks for everyone since I was one of four people in there. And like a classic movie cliche, as I’m about to leave, she steps out.
For context, my “type” is thin, petite, smaller breasts , and cute face. Nothing crazy. And Nothing against the “Carmen Electra/Pam Anderson”’s of the club world but they aren’t for me.
She probably saw the “fuck me” eyes pop out of my head like Saturday morning cartoons. She came over, in her ridiculously high stilettos, and tilted her head in pity saying “can I come sit with you?”
HOLY SHIT. PLAY IT COOL….. “Yeah! Sure!”…… nailed it.
She finishes her dance and comes over, I’m racking my mind for anything I can say besides “marry me”. She says “I’m Lily”, “Pat” (fake names, sorry). We go through the usual questions: “how’s it going?” “How long your working till?” “How long you been here?” “What’s your ring size?” You know, the basics… maybe not that last one.
We start talking about interests and our jobs, we actually like the same things, mutual love for animals. Could not have scripted this if I tried. The conversation flowed like with no one else before.
She talked about things she disliked about the job, how she had to work the champagne room with another dancer for trashed construction workers. Nothing out of the ordinary, until the other dancers starts blowing the group…. Just terrible…. Had to fight the urge to ask how much it cost.
Finally, I get the courage to ask her for a dance after an hour. Looking back on it she was a trooper for sitting with me that long, granted there were four people in the whole club.
We go into a side room, and I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been. I was less nervous to lose my virginity. I sit, she strips. Straddles me and runs her hand through my hair “you’re cute!”, no I’m in heaven. She grinds and touches me, tits and ass in my face, and a very noticeable erection in my pants. I was self conscious about it for a second but figured in her line of work it’s common and somewhat of a compliment?
She whispered in my ear “do you wanna go to the champagne room?” Fortunately for this story, my rational mind finally chimed in “As much as I’d love to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on you, I can’t today”.
Then in a snap, after JUST ONE SONG! She says “okay, let’s take a break!” Wut? Huh? That’s a thing? What about the two song rule? Did I do something wrong? Was it the boner? I swear it’s a compliment! I hesitantly say “…alright?” And we leave the room, I tip her anyway to try and get back on her good side but no dice.
And just like that, it was over. First heartbreak at the club. Crushed. She bid me adieu, and went on her way. She took me for about $80 in the span of an hour plus. I close my tab and go home, learning my first lesson of the club. Don’t fall in love.
https://redd.it/1f2ryzi
@r_funnystories
That Time I Mistook a Stranger’s Car for an Uber... And Actually Drove Off with Them
A few weeks ago, I was rushing out of the house and ordered an Uber to get to a meeting. When the car pulled up, I jumped in, said “Hey!” and started giving the driver directions without really looking up from my phone.After a couple of minutes of awkward silence, I finally glanced up and realized... this was NOT my Uber. The guy driving was just some random dude who thought I was a friend playing a prank on him. We both stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.Thankfully, he was cool about it and offered to drop me off anyway since it was on his way. Talk about getting a free ride!
https://redd.it/1f2hg6h
@r_funnystories
That Time My Dog Outsmarted Me
So, I have this dog, Max, who is part golden retriever and part mastermind. One day, I was sitting on the couch enjoying a sandwich, and Max was giving me those big, pleading eyes. I felt bad, but I knew I couldn’t give in. “No, Max,” I said, firmly. “You’ve already had your treat.”Max sighed dramatically (I swear he sighed) and then wandered off to the other room. I thought that was the end of it. About five minutes later, I hear a strange noise from the kitchen. I get up to investigate, only to find Max sitting in front of the open fridge, with the door wide open, looking at me like, “Well, if you won’t feed me, I’ll just help myself.”Here’s the kicker: I’d never seen Max open the fridge before. Turns out, he’d figured out how to use his nose to push the door handle. I just stood there, equal parts impressed and horrified. I couldn’t even be mad at him because it was just too funny.Safe to say, I gave him a piece of my sandwich after that. He earned it!
https://redd.it/1f2209a
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https://youtu.be/SMs2GvFFGD4
https://youtu.be/SMs2GvFFGD4
https://redd.it/1f1mytm
@r_funnystories
I got kicked out of church for accidentally letting out a chainsaw fart.
The sermon was about letting go of pain and being relieved of it. So as I was sitting, I felt my tummy rumbling and I felt this fart brewing and my tummy started to hurt and I thought was gunna shit my pants cause the night before I ate a lot of pickled eggs drenched in hot sauce and drank Milwaukee best ice(beer) I was trying so hard to keep my cheeks clench and as the pastor said “let’s bow our heads in prayer” I decided to take this opportunity to run to the bathroom as I got up I accidentally let out this roaring chainsaw fart that lasted for about 10 seconds and everyone looked at me, some died of laughter, some were disgusted, and this old granny behind me fainted, others begin throwing up and some fainted because it stanked really bad, It cleared out the entire congregation, everyone was fighting to get out of there it reminded me of the scene in World War Z when people were fleeing from the zombies. And the pastor pulled me aside, he was all butt-hurt and embarrassed and told me how blasphemous that was and that farting is a sin and I told him it was an accident and I reminded him that his sermon of today was about letting go of pain and being relieved of it, so that made him get even more offended and he told me to never comeback. As he walked away I decided to go find him and when I did, i cornered him, he screamed lord have mercy on me while I farted on him and he threw up and fainted.
https://redd.it/1f1w5xk
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https://youtu.be/O7YGM67amjw
https://youtu.be/O7YGM67amjw
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https://youtu.be/f7P-xL5mm7E
https://youtu.be/f7P-xL5mm7E
https://redd.it/1f1n19s
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https://youtu.be/PWahOZUH1gM
https://youtu.be/PWahOZUH1gM
https://redd.it/1f1n28n
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Clifford the Big Red Corpse
(Disclaimer: this isn't my own personal story. This came from YouTube user RamCichlid459 in a comment they made on a video from Huggbees, but I just had to share it.)
When I was 13 years old, my local church was holding a fundraising event and it involved a really big, pre-owned book sale. To "promote" the massive amount of children's books they were desperately trying to get rid of, someone rented a cheap, well-worn Clifford mascot costume. The fabric in the joints had rubbed away and the ears on the headpiece looked like they were rotting off. There were some troubling stains on the ass of the suit and it certainly smelled like someone had shit themselves before dying inside of it.
One of the high school choir boys had, at the over-baring pressure of his mom, volunteered to wear the suit for the event. On the day of the fundraiser, he purposely made himself throw up by drinking 5 liters of Dr Pepper in 20 minutes, which convinced the adults he was too sick to play the role of Clifford.
The priests went to each volunteer, BEGGING them to do it and were only met with very firm 'no's. Then on of them came to me, a tiny 8th grade girl who was just trying to meet the minimum 10 hours of volunteering needed for my catholic school to pass me for the year. Not only did the priest offer to sign my volunteer sheet and fully fill it out, thus completing my requirements when I had done maybe 2 hours of volunteering total, but he also handed me a $20 and said "Jesus suffered for you, so you can tough this out for some little kids".
The worst pain I ever experienced in my life was when I was 21 and my appendix ruptured, which also caused some cysts on my ovaries to burst as well. I passed out several times from the pain on the way to the hospital, and when I came to after the emergency surgery, one of the nurses smiled at me and said "Well, honey, you just experienced a pain worse than natural child birth."
When I tell you I would rather have my rotten appendix violently shoved back in my body and have it removed all over again, than ever wear that Clifford suit again, I mean it. The stench inside the mascot head made me feel like I was in that scene of Spirited Away when the gross mud spirit schlops his way through the bath house and the smell was so bad that it spoiled food. My eyes burned, the saliva in my mouth dried up, and the heat from my own breath made it stick to my pores.
Inside that suit I realized that God was either dead or a cruel Creator, because no loving God would allow something as foul as that Clifford suit to exist. I ended up sitting for most of the hour-long commitment because I easily became dizzy while standing. I was told to act like a Disney mascot, waving happily and moving with excitement to welcome the little kids over to the books. All I did was sit in a small chair, staring straight ahead with my paw-gloved hands set on my knees, desperately grasping to hold onto whatever bits of reality I could. I wish I could say I blacked-out for most of it. I really wish I did. But no, I remember almost every minute I spent in that sticky red-colored fursuit.
The worst part about it all, is that every child that came by was TERRIFIED of Clifford the Decaying Corpse. One mother really tried to entice her toddler to get a picture with me, but the kid screamed like he was being flayed alive when he was pushed towards me. I don't blame him. I don't blame any of the kids for being scared. It was a scary costume. I was scared while wearing it. I wondering if the kids sensed my fear.
I had nightmares about being trapped in that suit, or the suit coming to life and hunting me down for at least a month afterwards. The only small positive to come from it was that the older high school volunteer kids had a weird kind of respect for me from then on. One of them said I reminded him of his Uncle who served in Vietnam.
I understand why.
https://redd.it/1f0x0j3
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Don't know if this is the right group but here's a short funny interaction my autism led me to.
I was at a club with my gf and her schoolmates (they studied graphic design)
There was a guy I got along with quite well, he was into metal and really looked the part.
I was a bit drunk and the guy asked me if I thought satanists were mean devil worshipers, so I first said "Well that might depend on what kind it is, but from what I know Lavey satanism isn't devil worship".
He smiled at that.
But then I ended with.. "But they are cringe"
And then he didn't speak to me again. I had no clue he was a satanist but now afterwards I wont feel bad about my honesty.
https://redd.it/1f0t7dz
@r_funnystories
I scared the 💩out of a co-worker.
At my old job i worked at a factory as a janitor, I had a lazy co-worker who barely pulled his weight to help me and my co-workers to get the job done, he would rather play on his phone and watch TikTok or go around and talk to other factory workers. One day it was just me and him, he went into the bathroom and he was in there for 30 minutes and I went to check on him to see if he was okay but as I walked in he was standing there watching tiktok with his back turned. And I slowly go up behind and I screamed at him, he jumps and he blew this screaming wet duck fart that lasted for 10 seconds and he runs into the stall he starts screaming “YOU MADE ME SHIT MY FUCKING PANTS! THESE ARE THE LAST CLEAN UNDERWEAR AND PANTS I HAVE!” And I burst into laughter which enraged him even more. He stays in there for anther 30 minutes cleaning himself up, as he came out I see a massive brown stain on his pants, I burst into more laughter. For the rest of the shift every factory worker kept coming up to him and asking him if he’s been taking it up the ass too hard.
https://redd.it/1ezln27
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The Mismatched Socks Mystery
In the sleepy town of Noddington, everyone was puzzled by a peculiar phenomenon: mismatched socks. It all started when Mrs. Thompson, the local librarian, noticed that her favorite purple polka-dotted socks always went missing, only to be found paired with her husband’s striped ones.
“James!” she called to her husband one morning. “Have you seen my purple polka-dots? They’ve appeared in the laundry room with your stripes!”
James, who was still half-asleep, replied, “Maybe they’re just trying to spice up their life with a little variety.”
Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, Mrs. Thompson launched an investigation. Armed with a magnifying glass and a notebook, she set up a sock surveillance system in her laundry room, complete with cameras and an elaborate diagram of sock placement.
The next day, Mrs. Thompson was ready with her snacks and coffee as she reviewed the footage. To her astonishment, she saw her neighbor, Mr. Jenkins, sneaking into her laundry room. He was dressed in a full-length disguise: a trench coat, hat, and oversized sunglasses. Mr. Jenkins carefully removed one of her socks and replaced it with a brightly colored one.
Mrs. Thompson was baffled. She confronted Mr. Jenkins, who sheepishly admitted he had a sock problem. “I’ve been trying to match my socks for ages, but I’m terrible at it,” he confessed. “So, I thought I’d borrow yours for inspiration. Your mismatched pairs are always so creative.”
Mrs. Thompson couldn’t help but laugh. “You know, Mr. Jenkins, you don’t need to steal socks to get inspiration. Just ask!”
From that day forward, the residents of Noddington embraced the quirky sock trend, and mismatched socks became a local fashion statement. The town even held an annual “Sock Swap” party, where everyone could trade their most colorful and mismatched pairs. And as for Mrs. Thompson, she became the proud “Sock Detective” of Noddington, solving the greatest sock mystery with a touch of humor and creativity.
https://redd.it/1eyp2rm
@r_funnystories
The "Phantom Shitter" that my coworker and I had to clean up after.
So, I work at a restaurant, and the other night we had this sweet elderly couple come in for dinner. They finished their meal, and the gentleman excused himself to the restroom. No big deal, right? Well, he was in there for like, and hour until his wife finally went in to retrieve him. Fast forward a few hours—now we're closing up, and it’s my turn to clean the bathroom.
I walk in, and oh my gosh, the horror. The toilet was clogged to the brim with poop, the trash can was overflowing with paper towels smeared with—you guessed it—poop, and there was poop on the floor. And the smell. Oh, the smell. I’m telling you, I couldn't even.
So, my coworker Dan (bless his soul) took one for the team. He unclogged the toilet, wiped up the poop on the floor, and I had to tackle the trash can. I pulled out the bag, and lo and behold, there was a rogue turd hiding underneath the trash bag in the trash can. I don't even want to know how that happened.
Even after Dan wiped down the walls with bleach, the bathroom reeked for days. It’s only just starting to smell normal, but it was so bad you could smell it in the dining room. One of the cooks has dubbed this guy “The Phantom Shitter.” So yeah, that was our night. Hope someone finds this as hilarious as we did (after the trauma subsided, of course).
https://redd.it/1f4kkut
@r_funnystories
An Unexpected Discovery in the Jersey Woods
So, here’s a strange story from a couple of years ago that I’ve never really shared with anyone because, well, it’s kind of embarrassing but also hilariously absurd. I was living in Jersey at the time, and one Saturday afternoon, I decided to take a walk in the woods near the highway.
Why was I in the woods, you ask? I wasn’t exactly the outdoorsy type, but I had this phase where I just needed to get away from screens, my phone, and the noise of life. You know, just be one with nature. Plus, there was a local trail that had a reputation for being pretty peaceful, and I figured a walk could clear my head.
So, I’m walking along, minding my own business, when I notice something half-buried in the mud. At first, I thought it was just trash—Jersey is notorious for litter along highways, so it wouldn’t have been surprising. But as I got closer, I realized it was a DVD case.
It was so filthy that at first, I didn’t even realize what it was. I honestly thought the cover was black. Curiosity got the best of me, so I picked it up. After wiping off some of the dirt, I realized it wasn’t just any DVD—it was some adult movie. The title was barely legible, but the characters on the cover had distinctly Indian features. I couldn’t help but laugh at how random this was.
Here I was, trying to disconnect from modern life, only to find some kind of Bollywood-themed adult flick, of all things, half-buried in the mud. The case was still intact, which made me think that whoever dropped this either lost it during a hike (which is already a weird thought) or intentionally left it there, maybe hoping someone else would stumble upon it. It’s almost like it was meant to be found.
The rest of my walk was filled with ridiculous thoughts about who might have brought this out here. Maybe it was someone who had a weird idea of what a nature walk should involve? Maybe it was part of some bizarre scavenger hunt?
When I got home, I couldn’t resist. I popped the DVD into my old player, eager to see what kind of hilarity I’d uncovered. But here’s the kicker—the damn thing didn’t work. Not even a flicker. It must have gotten wet at some point because the disc looked fine at first, but once it started spinning, the player just spat it out.
Part of me was disappointed. I mean, after all that buildup, it could have been the most bizarrely entertaining thing I’d ever seen. But another part of me was relieved because maybe it’s better not to know what kind of weirdness that DVD contained.
And so, it sits on my shelf now, a bizarre souvenir from that random day in the woods. Sometimes I think about tossing it, but then I remember how strangely funny and absurd that moment was, and I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it.
Whoever dropped that thing in the woods, whether by accident or on purpose, definitely gave me a story to tell.
https://redd.it/1f3pd1k
@r_funnystories
Anyone else ever accidentally launched a fingernail clipping into their eye as they were clipping their nails?
I swear I have skills 😂
https://redd.it/1f2t04p
@r_funnystories
I got banned from an Apostolic Church for unleashing a roaring lion fart.
The Pastor preach a sermon about letting go of pain and feeling good about it, he also had that televangelist preaching voice. So as I was sitting there listening to his sermon, I felt my tummy rumbling and I felt this fart brewing and my tummy started to hurt and It felt like I was gunna have explosive diarrhea cause the night before I ate a lot of pickled eggs drenched in hot sauce and drank a lot of Milwaukee best ice (beer) I was trying so hard to keep my butt cheeks clench, I was waiting for the appropriate time to get up and use the bathroom without being seen as being rude and as the pastor said “let’s bow our heads in prayer” I decided to take this opportunity to run to the bathroom, I got up quietly i started coming down the row and this old granny scared me and out came this roaring lion fart that lasted for about 15 seconds and everyone begin to look at me, most of the adults were grossed out and some of the kids started laughing, and the old granny begin to cry and started throwing up, others begin throwing up, some fainted, and some of them were crying because it stanked really bad, everyone was fighting to get out of there it was like a free for all, people were screaming and crying that Satan was in the congregation, as that was happened the pastor was looking for the person who did it while screaming: “WHO LET THE DEVIL IN HERE WHO WHO WHO WHO?!” And the old granny pointed at me and said in a screaming crying tone “Satan is the one that came out of that furnace butt, rebuke him Pastor dick” And the pastor pulled me aside, he was all butt-hurt, offended, and embarrassed he told me how blasphemous that was and that farting is a unforgivable sin and I told him it was an accident and I didn’t mean it, but kept rambling that I allowed Satan in their church, so..i decided to give him a smart ass response about his sermon about letting go of pain and feeling good about it and I told him that I felt relieving after letting out that painful roaring lion fart, as I said that he grabbed his cross and got even more mad, more butt-hurt and he told me that I was banned from his church. As he walked away I decided to find him and when I did, I cornered while he screamed “lord have mercy on me, lord save me, lord don’t let die from this poisonous gas” so I farted on him and he throw up and fainted. I decided to go back and see if anyone else was still in congregation, when I got there everyone was gone and nobody was in there everyone was gone and the stink was still lingering in the air along with the vomit, It look like a war zone.
Later I caught wind that the church hired a biohazard clean up crew to clean up the congregation, they also prayed really hard that God won’t ever let Satan sneak in like a roaring lion fart into their congregation ever again. And the pastor was pissed about the money they had to spend, because he wanted to buy a yacht for his so called bullshit ministry. And some of the church goers got PTSD from that terrible smelly day, some of them wound up killing themselves cause of the smelly trauma on that fateful morning.
https://redd.it/1f2s63z
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I just wanted to be like my mom 😂😂
https://redd.it/1f21brb
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https://youtu.be/VleN8IpK2xA
https://youtu.be/VleN8IpK2xA
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https://youtu.be/scLTRedfLr4
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https://youtu.be/bhu2asm_c2M
[https://youtu.be/bhu2asm\_c2M](https://youtu.be/bhu2asm_c2M)
https://redd.it/1f1n0be
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https://youtu.be/O7YGM67amjw
https://youtu.be/O7YGM67amjw
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https://youtu.be/NjzmFwqpxoE
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https://youtu.be/wm2Dm9Xzij4
https://youtu.be/wm2Dm9Xzij4
https://redd.it/1f1mvis
@r_funnystories
What’s your teacher stupid moment that made you think that you’re smarter than them?
When I was in the 8th grade I had an English teacher who is not really fluent and when it was reading time he read out loud and BOY his vocab pronunciation caught me off guard
How my teacher pronounce these words
Archaeologists -> Ark-chhae-ol-lo-gist (g pronounce like gorilla)
Threatened -> tree-ten
Orchid-> Ork-jid
And it’s too much that I’m laughing crying while writing this and have an amazing rest of the day
https://redd.it/1f0vyao
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My husband dreamed I was cheating
Here is what the dream was... my husband took me to a sushi restaurant and we sat across the booth from each other. While waiting for our food some guy sits down next to me and we cuddle up together in front of my husband. Husband starts to get upset and then also notices that the guy and I are wearing matching shirts. (Which is something that WE do as a couple) This enrages my husband and he curses us out and leaves the restaurant. Ready to kick me out of the house and end our relationship forever. Then he wakes up.
I wake up with my angry husband in my face. He tells me about the dream and says angrily " YOU DON'T EVER BE MATCHY MATCHY WITH ANYONE BUT ME!" and then he walks out and was upset about his own dream for hours after.
https://redd.it/1f0e9gs
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The Great Cucumber Caper
In the quaint village of Puddleton, known for its peaceful streets and quirky inhabitants, there was one event that everyone eagerly anticipated each year: the Great Vegetable Fair. The highlight of the fair was the annual Cucumber Competition, where villagers showcased their most impressive cucumbers in hopes of winning the coveted Golden Cucumber Trophy.
This year, however, the competition was set to be anything but ordinary. Timmy Tumble, the village’s notorious prankster, decided he would enter the competition. Timmy had never grown a cucumber in his life, but he had a plan—one that would make the fair memorable for years to come.
Timmy went to the market and bought the biggest, juiciest cucumber he could find. It was a sight to behold, but not because of its size. It was perfectly ordinary, except for one thing: it was hollowed out and filled with a small, remote-controlled whoopee cushion. Timmy carefully placed it among the other cucumbers in the competition and waited for the show to begin.
As the judges walked along the rows of cucumbers, Timmy watched with barely contained excitement. The judges were the village’s most respected elders, including Mr. Thompson, who was known for his serious demeanor and love of cucumbers. They stopped in front of Timmy’s entry, admiring the cucumber’s impressive size.
Mr. Thompson picked up the cucumber, examining it closely. “This is quite a specimen,” he said, nodding approvingly. Just then, he gave it a gentle squeeze to better inspect it.
Pffft!
The whoopee cushion inside emitted a loud, unmistakable sound. The entire crowd froze for a moment, and then erupted into laughter. Mr. Thompson’s face turned a shade of red that matched the village’s famous radishes. He looked around, bewildered, trying to maintain his composure.
Timmy tried to stifle his giggles as he saw the judges struggling to keep straight faces. Mrs. Pritchard, who was known for her dignified posture, was now shaking with laughter, her monocle nearly falling off her face.
“What in the world?” Mr. Thompson exclaimed, as the whoopee cushion gave another squeaky sound. He put the cucumber down quickly and turned to Timmy, his eyes twinkling with amusement despite his best efforts to appear stern.
“Timmy Tumble, I should have known it was you!” Mr. Thompson said, trying to suppress his laughter. “You’ve certainly brought new meaning to the term ‘funny vegetable.’”
Timmy grinned from ear to ear. “I figured a little laughter couldn’t hurt, Mr. Thompson. Besides, who doesn’t love a good prank?”
https://redd.it/1eyoxd0
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The Time-Traveling Tacos
In the bustling city of Flavorville, Carlos owned a popular taco truck known for its out-of-this-world flavors. One evening, after a long day of cooking, Carlos decided to experiment with a new taco recipe. He added a peculiar ingredient he’d found in an old cookbook—something called “Time-Traveling Spice.”
That night, after closing his taco truck, Carlos took a bite of his experimental taco. Instantly, a swirling vortex of colors surrounded him, and he found himself transported to a medieval banquet hall!
“Welcome, noble traveler!” boomed a regal voice. Carlos turned to see a group of medieval knights and ladies staring at him, amazed by his modern attire and, more importantly, his tacos.
The king, intrigued by the aroma, took a bite. His eyes widened. “This is the most delightful thing I’ve ever tasted! What is this magical food?”
Carlos, bewildered but excited, explained tacos as best as he could, blending modern culinary terms with medieval descriptions. The knights and ladies were thrilled, and soon Carlos was the hit of the medieval banquet.
But just as quickly as it began, the vortex appeared again, and Carlos was whisked back to his taco truck, with the medieval banquet hall fading away. The time-traveling tacos had brought him back to Flavorville, where his taco truck was now surrounded by an eager crowd.
Carlos decided to keep the Time-Traveling Spice a secret, but he continued to make tacos with a touch of magic and adventure. Rumors spread about the mysterious and fantastical flavors of Carlos’s tacos, and the taco truck became famous far and wide. People from all over came to taste the legendary tacos that had traveled through time, making Flavorville the most flavorful place in history.
https://redd.it/1eyp3x2
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