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Story to tickle your belly @reddit2telegram @r_channels JEET is the administrator
Thought I had to go to the hospital.
So when I was 19, I had an apartment and a girlfriend that would stay over a lot. She’d often bring over junk food and we’d pig out and have some drinks. One morning, when she’d gone home the night before, I took a dump that was very red.
I was absolutely horrified! My first thought was “I’m pooping blood because I’ve been drinking too much. I probably have an ulcer and can’t eat spicy food anymore like grandma”.
I called my mother crying. I told her I was pooping lots of blood and I was really scared. She told me not to call 911 and that she was on her way to take me to the hospital.
About 5 minutes after that phone call my girlfriend walks through the door and sees I’m clearly distressed. She asks me what’s wrong and I tell her everything.
She starts laughing hysterically. I get upset and tell her “It’s not funny!”. She then explains to me flaming hot Cheetos make your poop red if you eat enough.
I had never eaten half a big bag of flaming Cheetos before. I wouldn’t really ever choose them but she liked them. I had to call my mom and tell her it was a false emergency.
https://redd.it/17roxaj
@r_funnystories
Funny story ig
When i was 13(m) i met this one girl (16) and we became really good friends, but prior to this i never really experienced this whole "friends" or even "good friends" thing so i thought i loved her, so i told her that, and we never talked again💀
https://redd.it/174oau5
@r_funnystories
Does anyone have any funny stories about looking younger than they actually are?
I am of age and many people to this day confuse for being 15 or 16 lol. And I have finished school lmao.
I'm not complaining about it !! On the contrary I love seeing people faces when I tell them my real age lol.
Anyways, what are some of your funny stories?
https://redd.it/16qba7s
@r_funnystories
caught buying 24 pounds of weed of the dark web by feds.
I wake up, check my phone, see my package has arrived at my local post office. Me and friend hop in the car and drive down. Friend heads inside the post office to collect the package. Cops swarm the post office and arrest my friend. I get the fuck out of there, head to the airport, get on a plane to Ukraine (i have citizenship there). 3 days later, Russia invades Ukraine. And i can't leave Ukraine or i will get arrested.
https://redd.it/16lbdjo
@r_funnystories
What its your funniest mooning story?
https://redd.it/16fo5m1
@r_funnystories
Didnt see that coming
On the motorway coming back from a football game today my team lost. I have a car air freshener with the crest of the team i support.
Car overtakes with fans of the other team. They’re sticking fingers up shouting things just acting like complete idiots.
Remain right behind this car. A few miles up the road rear passenger window opens. Most of one of the guys comes out then goes back in. A minute later he’s fully leaning out the window throws up. Me and my mate start pissing ourselves laughing at him. He gets back in we think alright thats that.
Another minute later hes back out the window bearing in mind the cars going 70mph throws up again. This time in the act glasses come flying off. No where to stop for them here. I dont think i’ll ever forget the “oh shit” look on his face while still throwing up.
We thought it was funny the first time our sides are about bursting at this point.
The car slows down a bit at this point so we overtake. Pissing ourselves laughing at them in the process the passengers have settled down the drivers laughing with us.
https://redd.it/169ey64
@r_funnystories
how a bag of goldfish turned into a cult
One day in 5th grade the whole class had to take this test. After this hour-long test everyone got goldfish. I ate like 2 before I wanted to save it for lunch. I walked out of the class to go to play with everyone else BUT I FORGOT THE GOLDFISH. Walked back in but the goldfish were gone. So i walked to the teacher and talked to her and then she said “if no one gives jon (not my real name) or confesses to taking the goldfish you ALL get NO RECESS. So I say you don't need to do thi-- no I care about this. Im dead cuz i dont want people to lose their recess. It comes and only i go out im feeling super guilty then out of nowhere everyone comes out and says can i carry your backpack,i'll clean you desk so im weirded out than i see like 5 kids running after me so i sprint the other way this goes on for like 5 minutes till they catch up then they BOW DOWN TO ME SAYING “all hail king jon” im in shock as i see this one musty crusty dusty kid running towards me (hes slow so its like jogging speed) i BOLT out of there. I find out hes trying to HUG ME (hes trying to make it as weird as possible) these kids make a circle around me like a human shield and we run. This goes on for like 10 more minutes then we go back inside. When its time to go im given a paper (cant send it)
That is how some goldfish turned into a cult
https://redd.it/16012vw
@r_funnystories
we can't identify. The alien's got some tech - or biology? - emitting a signal.
I groan. I know the answer. I hate the answer. I sigh. I curse fucking Brenda. 10 seconds left. I back away and close my eyes. Everyone sacrifices in trying times.
3, 2, 1 - the rotation stops and the stupid little defunct microwave gives a happy chirp of a ding. Done! Aren't you proud of me? Never, Brenda-spawn.
A claw appears around the door. Oh fuuuuck, yep, this is happening. I duck down behind a table and reach up to fumble at the microwave door. Hopefully aliens aren't vegan. I manage to jab it open and suddenly the delicious, intoxicating smell of the perfect burger floods the lunchroom, rich and redolent.
Apparently demons like burgers, but I was counting on this. Everyone likes burgers unless they are useless bitches named Brenda. S/he/it leaps for the microwave and I slide sideways - this is a horrible idea - putting myself closer to her as my arms fumble at the countertop. Oh, god, it stinks like childhood trauma and ozone. Too late now and here we go - the creature realizes I'm here far too late, flailing and turning with way too many arms writhing about. His head is at the same level of the counter top, body coiled to strike.
My lunging fall nearly fails, apparently my aim is terrible, but I trip on a chair and surge upwards again, hands finally wrapping around the microwave.
"You like to transmit shit about Earth?????!" I want to scream but instead I just kinda squeak as I grab the horrible microwave with its beautiful payload and slide the entire thing over the creature's head.
"Farrady cage?" I whisper hopefully, quickly backing away, because that - and my burger - was really all I had. For a second, the alien is still, simply standing there with his/her/its head crammed in a microwave, before its head gives a sudden, anticlimactic plop and sinks to the ground, ooze puddling out on his/her/its shoulders.
As the creature falls, his/her/it's body gives a shake, some final death throe, and, with a rattle, a little brown disc comes soaring out of the microwave. It's a beautiful, heartwarming moment. The alien's dead, Berlin is playing take my breath away and I've been reunited with my hamburger.
The rest of earth can wait a few more minutes for me to save it. This shit is finally hot and ready and it's lunchtime for momma.
https://redd.it/15xxph3
@r_funnystories
Lost my wedding ring at the funniest moment
I’m a server at a fine dining restaurant and this couple is celebrating their honeymoon and joining us tonight with their aunt and her spouse (like 50’s). I like to joke around a lot with my tables and they picked up on that, so they make jokes too like rolling their eyes saying “you can tell they’re on their honeymoon because their all super lovey dovey and stuff. We’re over all that by now.”
So I go to pour them some water with a glass being between the older husband and wife. The wife was looking the other direction. I said excuse me but she wasn’t paying attention, so as I’m pouring water she wants to bring her husband into her convo and quickly turns her head as she leans over which puts her face very close to my face. So I go lean back and go “woah, can’t you see I’m married!?” in a sarcastic tone and they’re laughing as I hold up my hand to show my ring, which has now mother fucking totally disapparated. This makes them laugh even harder as I start cartoonishly flip my hand around and check my other hand and they think I’m doing a bit. (like when Deadpool is looking back and forth realizing Francis escaped on the bridge). I’m like “no seriously I just had it, I gotta go look for it, see y’all in a little bit.” And then I scurried off.
It had to have been lost within that past 15 minutes. I have recently lost some weight and was planning on getting it resized. It’s probably gone now so I guess I’ll just get a new one. Sucks, but at least there was some good comedy involved. It’s only ever been slippery in the shower all soaped up, never showed any sign of actually falling off aside from that.
It was just too perfect timing “can’t you see I’m married?!?!” while immediately realizing “uuhhhhh where the fuck is my fucking ring?”
https://redd.it/15xdgxk
@r_funnystories
My brother ate shit
My brother ate shit back story. I just want to start by saying that My brother is sped and when he was a baby he was as dumb as a baby. One time in particular he dicided to accidentally eat his own shit. How is this relevant? Well one day he took such a massive, luscious, glitining shit so big that it infact ovflowed the toilet seat. As far as to say that i thought he missed the toilet all together, after of what seemed like hours it was time to get up the shit filled toilet but that when it happened. Oh no his smooth, shiny, and slippery ass cheeks made him into a portable slip and slide into the toilet. It was a beast. His ass covered in shit caused him to fall into a backflip seemed to happen in slow motion until i saw it. He had flipped back into the toilet, when I stepped forward to check if he was alright He was covered all over in shit, omg he turned black, it was the opposite of a Michael Jackson. It was an unbelievable sight to see. Here's when he started to cry, but unbelievably he stopped almost immediately. he had gotten shit in his mouth. Oh no baby it's not chewing tobacco I said as he started consuming it like a vacuum. By the time my mom came he had eaten a fourth of the shit. I've never laughed so hard so hard
(Obv this story is fake)
https://redd.it/15vwxoe
@r_funnystories
Funny
You go to your email, open the spam section, and there! And he won all the lotteries, all the algorithms chose you as the winner, everyone wants to give you a bunch of gifts, help you earn millions of shit without doing anything. Some aunts vying with each other offer to come to them, otherwise they want sex so much that they even have nowhere to spend the night!
https://redd.it/15udlx3
@r_funnystories
I farted at work and had two people smell it
I farted at work recentky and it stunk. One of my co-workers was standing next to me. He smelled it amd another co- worker walked up to talk to the co-worker next to me. He smelled it as well. He asked what's that smell? I burst out laughing. I didn't intend for two people to smell my fart. I didn't think another one of my co-workers would walk up and smell my fart. Talking about this story I can't help but laugh.
https://redd.it/15tpepq
@r_funnystories
Title
So last night I’m chilling with my neighbor having a couple beers and whatnot. He tells me about this eBay store of his he had a while back that did well when he was active with it. He now has a career and a family. However he told me and showed me his last remaining active item. A $2 wallet, 7ish with shipping.. Around midnight I proceeded to find and buy the listing.
I was convinced he was gonna realize it was me right away,. Instead he text me this morning
“ What the fuck that wallet on my eBay store sold overnight”
“ it’s been on there for years”
“ Shit now I have to find it”
I brushed it off and replied,
‘Lmao’
‘Weird’
‘Do you have any idea where it may be?’
He responded with
“Some box in a closet”
So now apparently he and his wife are tearing their house upside down and inside out trying to find this thing. We are neighbors in an apartment building and share a hallway. Today when I was coming up the stairs on my way to my front door I overheard his wife. Im not a creep I don’t eavesdrop but I heard frustration and one word ‘eBay’.
Now I’m feeling a little guilty all around. She is a SAHM with a 20 month old. He works full time and is probably pissed that his account is gonna get negative feedback.
I’m justifying it, and letting this continue..
If an actual person bought this he would be the exact same scenario but the consequences would stick.
If he can’t find it I’ll cancel and leave positive feedback. Plus,. the insane disconnect between showing me the listing and it’s selling within hours and him not having at least a, hey maybe it’s this fucker, lemme check
Cannot, can not, can’t not, can-not wait until he sees the shipping adress!
https://redd.it/15sf2z9
@r_funnystories
dancing teachers
So last year me and my friend went back to school in September, as usual. Our teacher told class to go to the gym for announcements. There were a few normal ones. Until suddenly like 20-30 teachers starting dancing with posters and school supplies it was AMAZING.
https://redd.it/15rsdv6
@r_funnystories
My english literature GCSE.
For context, this is referring to the 2023 GCSEs, i (F) was 15 back then and took them overly seriously although this story has been sitting at the back of my head for weeks, enjoy!
I walked into that exam hall thinking the poem would be “storm on the island” so the comparison could be relatively easy. This TOTALLY wasnt the only poem i prepared for that same morning as i completely forgot all the other poems.
I sat down in my seat and saw the lovely pink printed out booklet and then next to it the plain white print out… i looked at my teacher who was going to tell us when to start. I sat there wiggling in my chair as the exam hall emptied out with fine whispers and people preparing their equipment. Then the moment came. My teacher stood straight and said “you may begin”. I opened the white booklet and stormed back to the last page that was meant to have the poem on it as i didnt bother doing the “an inspector calls” question yet. And then it hit me.
why is the poem taking up two pages? No… this cant be…
I felt tears gathering in my eyes about to erupt like Mt Vesuvius and my stomach sink to mu uterus as i flicked the page over to see “My last duchess” written on it. The tears came running out of my eyes like the year 7s after the last the of school.
what the frickle frackle…
I had nothing prepared so i closed my eyes and thought of every poem i could think of… and then i had it.
YES! KAMIKAZE!
I didnt know back then that it was possible to compare these two… but i did it. I did a little imaginary swirl in my chair and began writing. I wrote 10 pages that day. And i will never forget how after the exam nobody compared “kamikaze” to “my last duchess”…
https://redd.it/15pay0b
@r_funnystories
Your stories in videos
https://youtu.be/jhQ3Wk5hxIE
https://redd.it/173u8qg
@r_funnystories
Broke my finger trying to kill a grasshopper
Picture this: you walk into your apartment late after spending time with friends and a grasshopper is chillin on your living room floor. Instead of listening to the obvious, being bad luck to kill a grasshopper, you decide to go after it anyways because you don’t do bugs… especially jumping ones.
After two attempts of smashing it with your hand in a boot, you go after it at full speed a third time only for it to jump away once again. However, immediately after you have intense severe pain across your fingers. You decide to go to the ER because you cannot bend your middle finger.
ER tells you that there are no breaks but to follow-up with an orthopedic surgeon just incase. So two days later you see a specialist and are told you did in-fact break your finger and require physical therapy and a finger cast because the volar plate was involved and you cannot bend your finger back forward.
I cannot be the only one. I’m going around sounding like an idiot telling people I broke my finger over trying to kill a bug. Should I start lying and say it was a sport injury???
P.s. grasshopper has not been found to this day (we are upward of 5 days since the incident). DONT MESS WITH NATURE.
https://redd.it/16vqkrc
@r_funnystories
Wife Calling Home to Her Parents
For the last 5 months my wife has been calling her parents home phone number that’s saved in her phone. Sometimes the call goes to voicemail and she leaves a message, but most of the time she calls a man who isn’t in her family answers. The first few times she was spooked out, hung up and then called her moms cell phone number instead. One time when the man picks up she calls him out and says this is my parents phone how did you get this number? He says this is not your parents phone stop calling and hangs up.
Now up until 2 days ago I had no idea any of this happens until she tries to call her home number while I’m around and the same thing happens. She calls the number, man answers and she hangs up immediately. She is visibly spooked and explains everything to me, how this has been happening for months and how she thinks a scammer has spoofed their phone and trying to deceive people calling her parents. So I say have you checked the number you have saved in your phone, she looks at the number and just has a stundend expression on her face. She says oh my god I have been calling the wrong number for months I had the last digit wrong this whole time. We both start laughing hysterically and I tell her at least you now know why your mom hasn’t been returning your voicemails.
https://redd.it/16nbc85
@r_funnystories
Missing iPhone Found
So this happened just today. A guy knocked on our door and said this. He was getting out of his car at a bar when his iPhone fell out of his pocket. He didn’t notice at the time, but then just as he was getting out of the bar he realized he had lost his phone. He didn’t care since he was probably drunk, and he went home. The next morning he borrowed his wife’s iPhone and used Find My to find his iPhone. On Find My it showed his iPhone was in our area. He then asked us if we had seen a Black iPhone, and we said that we hadn’t. He then took his wife’s iPhone out and showed us that it was in our area. He clicked the “Play Sound” button, and we heard the sound come from my dad’s friend's truck. He asked whose it was, and my dad told him. He called his friend over and asked him if had seen a black iPhone, and he said he had found one at a gym near the bar the guy was at. He held onto it in case he found the owner of the iPhone. My dad’s friend gave the iPhone to him. The guy was very grateful as his entire work was on that iPhone.
https://redd.it/16kndu9
@r_funnystories
What did you learn from the first time you got drunk?
I was taught the age old lesson that if you are voming out of a moving cars window do now vom against the wind. The wind will win.
https://redd.it/16e8t7p
@r_funnystories
Financial Aid is a thorn in my ass
So I started JUCO recently, but even though I've already started taking classes, Financial Aid is still bitching to me about shit, saying I forgot to fill out some dumbass forms for my student loan, so of course I'm all sorts of pissed because it's almost SEPTEMBER and I'm still dealing with this bullshit.
I was filling out the form, but let me tell you, I fucking lost it. I ripped my nipples clean off my chest and screamed until I made my own ears drip blood. I got in my car, drove all the way up to my school, and broke the fuck in. I blew all the stop signs on the way there, and even ran over a few pedestrians, but I was wasting no time.
It was the dead of night, but sure enough the financial aid workers were still there. I didn't even bother questioning it, I had them right where the fuck I wanted them. I screamed at them fiercely, demanding to know who was causing my all this goddamn distress, and when I found the fucker that was behind it all, I ran over to him and bent that grown man over my fucking knee. I promptly smacked his ass, and it eventually bled. The whole time he was screaming for help like a bitch, yelling something about "GET SECURITY!! SOMEBODY BROKE IN AND HE'S SPLITTING MY ASS OPEN!!!"
A campus guard came up and tried to pull me away, but I karate chopped him in the throat as soon as he got close. His eyes went wide and he started choking on air like "HUUUGH!! HUGGGHH!!!". I grabbed the nearest chair and chucked that shit into him. He flew backward onto the floor and spun like a starfish until he landed at a file cabinet, which then fell on top of him, crushing him. I then realized the other workers were on the phone with the cops, so I had to get the fuck out.
I grabbed the chair I'd thrown into the guard, and hauled it at a window pane. The pain broke and allowed for my escape. I hauled ass back outside, screaming swears the whole way there. All the while another guard was chasing me, but I ran up to the top floor to a stairwell, and promptly shoved his sorry ass over the railing. He fell all the way down and broke his back. I saw him start flopping around and groaning like "NUUUGGHH".
I made it back to my car and drove back home. I'm in bed now. I feel better now that I vented all that rage out. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. The end!
https://redd.it/163d0km
@r_funnystories
NOT an average time with a cousin
Lemme give a bit of context. So i was 11m and he was 12m at that time. We were both some wierdos. Something i forgor to add is that im half romanian half british and hes italian. And no im not rcta, i was born in england but most of my dna was also romanian. This happened in my great grandmother’s place. Well, atleast an uncle, since they both live in the same land. So we are in the uncles house, a big bedroom, king sized bed, small tv, bad wifi, and our charger and phones. So at like 12am me and him, decide to stay up all night. So, me and him, watch pornhub and some anime porn pictures (dont ask what characters ok) so we are both horny asf, and the layout of the bed meant if he sit down on out knees from the other sides of the beds only our head was visible. And he says “imma jerk off on this side” and then starts beating his meat but behind the bed, so i cant see his meat. Me bein some sheep, i do the same but on the other side. Its 3 am, 2 kids masturbating, them 2 watching themselves in the eyes. After we get our job done, the porn doesnt exite us anymore. So after that theres 30-40 minutes of us both watching tiktok on our own phones. He then shows me a video with the text “when u get beaten at the thing u are best at” and a sad video. And from there we started saying the most real shit ever. Untill i need to go home, before i went, i took his phone number. We both talk to this day and only me and him know about this
https://redd.it/15ykloz
@r_funnystories
Brenda from HR
Salt, fat, sizzle, sear - the components are basic and mandatory. The burger is the star and never let anyone tell you otherwise...even if that someone is a stupid bullshit Goodwill microwave because someone (Brenda in HR) is too fucking cheapass to upgrade.
I dont have time for this - Timmons needs a submit by noon for a merge by five because Perkins is absolutely horrible at his job - but fuck Perkins. I want a burger, specifically MY deliciously seared burger from last night, so it's time to settle in and wait. Triple beep on that idiot machine (fuck you, Brenda) and the microwave power's at 50% for that slow, deep reheat.
Some TV while we wait - Pedro seems to be really doing it dirty to Janessa Maria. Would NOT be surprised if he ends up stabbed with all those side chicas he's had going for weeks.
Annoyingly, the lunchroom TV cuts from daytime telenovelas to grainy cellphone zooms of movie monsters spilling out of weird machines. I check on my burger - ten minutes left and still rotating nicely, despite all expectations - and then focus back on the news again.
Invasion. Aliens. Doom. This channel sucks. Flip through a few, but it's all the same broadcast - burger doing great - and that's when I realized what's happening.
This bullshit castoff Oliver of a microwave is all please-maam-may-I-have-moreing my burger into a dry, shitty crumble. Fuck you, Brenda. Power down even lower, might help, has to help. I still hate Brenda.
Back to ten minutes and what is this bullshit on the TV. Timmons' task floats into my head and I kick myself - I didn't drop those completed components into code review. By the time I get back from that, we're at eight minutes, the burger is lightly sizzling and I've realized the entire office is empty.
Fucking corporate yoga. I can even hear them upstairs - graceful, my ass, they sound like elephants tap dancing. Seven minutes to heaven, though, so who gives a shit. I think I'll add some BBQ sauce, just to be heathenous.
I hear a crash from the area near Perkins' desk, but who cares. The guy is a mess. Six minutes. Looking juicy. Another crash. Did they have a lunch out? Perkins likes to drink, why do you think he's useless after lunchtime?
Flip channels for a bit, but it's all the same stupid YouTube alien movie promo crap - five minutes, die in a fire, Brenda - so I browse Reddit looking at food pics. Another crash and now it's starting to seem a bit weird. I glance at the microwave, mouth almost aching - four minutes - and sigh. Gotta help Perkins.
Aaaand, nope, that's an alien. That's totally, completely, absolutely, how the fuck is that an alien. He's... she's? It's tall, scaly, oozy, slimy, totally not human, pure nightmare factory, and appears to be baffled by a stapler. Why does Perkins even have a stapler?
You how know under pressure our brains turn into trapped rats trying to find the easiest way out and we think and do amazing shit? So yeah, three minutes left and burger is looking good.
I thank my Brenda-esque brain for absolutely nothing and dart back into the lunchroom, which has apparently become my safe house against an alien invasion. Yay, I always wanted to fight for my life surrounded by old egg salad and leftover pasta.
Right about now is when I realize my problem. See, the microwave has been going with an ambient hum since Sumeria was the shit, so any changes are going to be instantly noticed...and we're at two minutes left. Also the burger is looking amazi-
Right, yeah, pull it together girl. Fuck you, Brenda. With a REAL microwave, I would have been out of here alr-
Well, hold on now. I creep back to the door. The alien's apparently given up on staplers and is kinda scanning the room. Like, literally, scanning. There's old 90s style movie graphics sprouting out of his/her/its eyes.
One minute left - hi burger, you're beautiful - and I'm fumbling with my phone. This whole situation is stupid enough, might as well try....
And there we are. WiFi scanner is picking up something absolutely weird and confusing, clearly some sort of network
Getting jumped
Chilling with a few guys I knew on a daily basis on the street, we sit and talk and laugh but weren't the best of friends.
One day this group of guys came running across the street and one of yells "that's him!" And they grab the dude beside us and start kicking em, 7 or 8 dudes just stomping this dude all over the body and one of yells "hold up hold up that ain't him!"
They get mad at the one guy cause they beat up the wrong guy and he's sitting on the side walk crying and scared and one of the guys kneels down on him and hands em a bag of McDonald's patting him in the back "I'm sorry bro you aiight, here have my fries and burgers, we good?"
My friend crying holding the bag "we good..." And they all walk off swearing at the one dude.
And we're just sitting there like what the hell just happened lol
We still laugh about it from time to time.
https://redd.it/15wt5rm
@r_funnystories
Teenaged boys eating capacity.
30 minutes after dinner, my 17 years old cousin walks into the living room where all of us are seated with a bowl full of chicken wings.
we are all shocked because he ate alot just 30 minutes ago.
He sits down in the middle of the sofa, goes "chicken wings after awhile just hits different" and devours it like he's been starving for weeks.
https://redd.it/15uqx25
@r_funnystories
pissed teacher
when I was in 4th or 5th grade we were eating lunch so there was no teachers in the room. someone then sweared right as the teacher walked in the room. now this teacher was hated by everyone, everyone was looking at each other knowing what was about to happen. the teacher gave him this nasty stare like he had commited multiple war crimes. then she walked up to him and just started SCREAMING at him that may have been the most scary moment of my life.
​
sorry for bad grammmar.
https://redd.it/15u4dx3
@r_funnystories
Family vacation on 4/20
I’m (45f) a conservative Christian mom with four kids, and I am the one who plans all of our family vacations. I booked a weekend up in the mountains of Virginia at a campground we have been to before and really enjoyed. I made sure to get us a great site, right next to the playground and other amenities. We arrived with our camper in tow after a 2 Hour drive and as we are pulling in, there’s a tent outside the campground advertising bail bonds. Of course that seemed odd. Hubby (46m) pulls up in front of the office and I ran inside to check in. In line ahead of me an elderly couple is asking about the event that is happening in the main recreation area. Someone is on stage making speeches and there is a cover band. The receptionist, however, is evasive and tells them the information should be on the flyer posted by the door. I thought her response was a little weird, but didn’t think about it too much because I was focused on getting checked in and getting our bored hungry kids over to the campsite. After we parked, and I spent about 30 minutes setting some stuff set up while hubby is working on his end of things… I noticed the band is singing, something about “getting high“ and I caught a snippet of a speech involving cannabis. There are signs around saying “420 festival“ so I looked it up and realized what this was all about. Even though I did a fair amount of partying/rebelling in high school, I had never heard of 420 day. Hubby and son (17m) were quite amused since I was the one who made the booking and planned it on this particular weekend. (I am rather scatterbrained and have a history of these kinds of goofs. We all laughed about it, and I wasn’t offended at all) There were pop up tents surrounding the main recreation area selling marijuana based souvenirs, and the smell of pot combined with grilled meals wafted through the air. (This was actually nostalgic to me since my dad was an ex hippie and I grew up with that smell) We had to explain what it was all about to my younger son (11m) who proceeded to exclaim loudly “You mean they’re all on DRUGS?!” My daughter (8f) was totally oblivious, and wanted to go, see the “fair”. We spent the evening hanging out with the kids in the play area, briefly, exchanging bemused conversation with a few other families who were unaware of the events of the weekend. The guests of the festival were all nice enough, and there wasn’t anything to be concerned about really. The only issue that we had was that the cover band played a couple of songs with very vulgar lyrics in the hearing of all of the families and kids. As it grew dark, the festival music changed over to 70s style and they projected images of psychedelic patterns and flowers all over the trees. They had a smoke machine as well, so you can imagine the vibe. We typically let the kids stay up really late on the first night, so we were all outside hanging out at the playground and campsite, which was directly adjacent to the festival. My daughter liked the ”pretty lights“. It was actually the last night of their event so they were packed up and leaving the next morning. All in all it wasn’t too bad it was just pretty funny for us because we had arrived for a family vacation with four kids and got a much a different experience than we expected.
https://redd.it/15sntld
@r_funnystories
My Dads school's spare Gym clothes box
My Dad said back when he was at school, there was a box in the changing rooms full of old lost clothes. If you forgot your PE kit you had to fish an outfit from the box.
He also said when the teachers weren't there boys would get in a circle and pee in it, which was very often. I asked him if he ever forgot his kit and he said 'thankfully not'.
https://redd.it/15rwg09
@r_funnystories
Weird facebook marketplace encounter
Already posted this in the facebook marketplace subreddit but thought I’d share it here too. Honestly, it’s not as funny without the pictures but I can’t share the pictures in this subreddit ig. Anyway.
So one guy messaged me at 11 pm asking if a bed frame I have is for sale. Here was our conversation
Him: hi is this available.
Me: yep
Him: okay I can pick it up tomorrow early in the morning.
Me: okay sounds good.
Him: or now.
Me: okay, that’s fine (side note: it was a late but we want this thing gone asap)
Him: tomorrow please (why did he even say he could come now? Lol)
Surprise, surprise. He never shows up. I sell it to someone else and move on.
I put a listing up for a bed headboard that’s really damaged for free. Same guy messaged me about it. Here’s how that convo went:
Him: hi is this available?
Me: it is but you gotta get it by 3 or it’s going to the curb.
Him: so are you selling that chicken house?
I had to take a pause and think, “what? When did I list a chicken house?” And then I realized in the headboard listing, if you zoom in wayyyyyy into the background, you can see our chicken coop in it. It’s a fine chicken coop, but with how far back it is, it actually looks super warped and definitely like a poor attempt at a chicken coop. Obviously told the guy no since we have chickens lol Guy stopped responding after that. My family and I had a laugh about it so it’s whatever. Also, it’s 3 now and no word from him so guess no bed for that guy. Lot of weird people on there.
(Sorry about formatting. On mobile)
https://redd.it/15q7fdk
@r_funnystories
I wore butt pads to school
I, 17(M) I was hanging at my Grandma's house when I found a black pair of nylon shorts with foam inserts in the back that made your butt look slightly more shapely. She wasn't home and I was bored so I tried them on. When I looked in the mirror I was shocked. I looked pretty good these and they were virtually undetectable. So I decided to sneak them home in my backpack. They were under a bunch of old clothes and still had the tag on so I figured she wouldn't miss them. A few days later, I put them on over my boxers and walked around my town. I liked feeling more attractive but I also liked how sneaky it was. I enjoyed the butts pads so I decided to take it to the next level. Over the weekend, I thought of nothing but wearing them to my high school, especially because of how uncomfortable our seats are. That monday, I walked into school wearing the pads under my jeans. I don't think anybody noticed but I felt a lot more confident and happy. Sometimes I would just feel them with my hand. I continued to wear them throughout the semester. I wore them everywhere including vacations and family gatherings. The only trouble was I had to change in private. I actually forgot I was wearing them once and dropped my pants infront of my Mom. Luckily, her back was turned so I quickly scooped up my pants and went into the bathroom to change. I decided to give it up after I graduated because I was tired of hiding them and they were starting to get uncomfortable. I still have them in my closet, hidden in a headphone box. Altogether, It was a great experience that I highly recommend.
https://redd.it/15offdy
@r_funnystories