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Story to tickle your belly @reddit2telegram @r_channels JEET is the administrator
Car Doodles
So years back my mates girlfriend used to have a really dirty blue car as she worked at the stables, so I used to draw obscene pictures in the dirt to mess with her whenever I saw her car. This one time I stumbled across the dirty blue car at the supermarket and drew this unholy abomination of eye filth, the kind of drawing a car wash couldn't undo.. only a priest with a pressure washer could cleanse. Then for the icing on my masterpiece I flipped up her windshield wipers and drove off. Later that day when I returned home I asked her with a cheeky grin "how was your shop today?" And she responded, "shop? I've been home all day watching netflix?".
I can't quite comprehend the confusion & disgust this unfortunate person with the same make of car must have had. I feel remorseful truly I do but It does make me giggle.
https://redd.it/1ai8ld5
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The weekend of automotive Hell
Back in November 2006, I was living & working in Madison Wisconsin, having transferred there due to my gov't job. I had reconnected with some of my old friends from when I grew up in that area in the early 90's and we would get together most weekends for gaming, drinks, laughs and a good time. We would generally rotate where we would go each weekend, and this particular weekend was my friend Marvin's turn to host.
I picked up one friend Cameron in Madison, and while driving eastbound on i-94 to pick up another friend Dave at this small roadside diner we frequented on our road trips and affectionally referred to as "Toschi Station", Cameron and I both noticed a tire, rim and all, begin bouncing towards us from the westbound lanes. It narrowly missed us as well as the car behind us. We looked at each other in relief, not realizing this was a harbinger of things to come.
We met Dave at the parking lot of the diner, and strike up a conversation about the gaming plans for the weekend. Just as Dave closed his car door, he realized it was locked and he left his keys in the car, along with everything he brought for the weekend. He was forced to call his relatives to come by with the only spare key, and since they lived \~45 minutes away, we had no choice but to sit & have something to eat in the diner while we waited. That was the one silver lining as the diner had legitimately good food, including some amazing homemade pies.
Once Dave's folks got there & got the car unlocked, we loaded up my car and we were once again, on our merry way. While on the Milwaukee Beltway, Cameron noted that my car felt a tad sluggish while on one of the inclines. I initially dismissed it, as it was a cold November day, and my car was an older SUV, which I had from my time in Florida.
About 20 minutes later, when we were maybe a quarter-mile from reaching the exit to Marvin's house, out of nowhere, we all hear a loud noise from the engine, and all the instruments on my dash go dead. I somehow managed to make it to the shoulder without causing an accident, and we called a tow truck. While waiting for the tow, we called Marvin to have someone pick us up. Marvin told us that he was seconds away from calling us because it was then we learned that our other friend Steve, who was coming from the opposite direction, also had a breakdown, in the form of a blown transmission, and Marvin was going to ask if we could swing by to pick him up along the way.
In my case, the cause of my car trouble was a sheared crankshaft. Turns out, during my last oil change, one of the caps for the oil pan wasn't screwed back on correctly, and fell off at some point, causing oil to slowly leak out of my engine over the next couple weeks. Eventually it seized up, and tore the crankshaft in two from the resulting force. The car was so old at that point, it would have cost more than the car was worth to fix it, so I ended up having to buy a new car, which I drove for the next 8 years.
At any rate, we all made it to Marvin's place safely with no further automotive incidents. We all had a great gaming weekend, which was much needed, returning home safely as well. Even though we don't really get together that much any more due to several of us getting married, having kids and other things going on in our lives, every so often, my friends and I still reminisce about that weekend (and the gaming weekends in general), and joke about how unlikely it was that that all those car issues happened to us within the span of a few hours.
https://redd.it/1ah598m
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I failed to participate in a psychological experiment once...
So a few years ago, I (21f) found a call for experiment participants at the University of Utah. Participants were offered $40 for participation in a psych experiment testing behavior. On the day of the experiment I was instructed to go to the university and to steal a debit card from the backpack of a specific professor. I was told that the professor was knowledgable about the experiment, but I had to "steal" the card without getting caught. Diligently, I waited for the professor to leave their office and snuck in. I saw the backpack on the ground, but the wallet was sitting on the professor's desk so I opened it, took the debit card, and brought it to the place I was instructed to bring it. An undergradute student was waiting for me, but didn't take the card. He just asked me if I took it then sat me down to do an assessment on a computer. About a third of the way through the assessment I heard his phone ding with a message notification. He let out a gasp, and rushed over to me to stop the assessment. He asked me if I took the wallet from the backpack like I was instructed and I told him I grabbed the wallet on the desk. He then asked me to show him the card and as soon as he saw it he whipped out $40 bucks and told me to leave because I had stolen the professor's actual debit card and could no longer particpate in the experiment. I am still confused to this day if it was a strange psych experiment that I completed or if I actually almost took that poor professor's card.
https://redd.it/1afwptg
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Went to visit Mymom in an old folks home.
I get out of the car with my son and he said too bad it’s not Halloween , I would wear my Grim Reaper costume😳
https://redd.it/1af1jwv
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A funny situation played out when…
A few years back my husband was at the dentist. The dentist was taking notes, asking routine questions, then the dentist asked him what he does for living, to which he replied “steel”. The dentist & everyone looked at him with a concerned and shocked expression, but without any hesitation the dentist persisted with the question and asked him what exactly he steals… to which he said “I work in a steel factory- I’m a manufacturer of steel”. As we looked around the room we could see the relief on everyone’s faces and laughter followed shortly after.
To this day, whenever someone asks what he does for living, we give each other THAT LOOK and a little laugh follows after we say “steel” 😆
https://redd.it/19cem5p
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I'm never leaving the house with my 5 year old again
So let me preface this with a conversation I had with my son earlier this week.
My son is 5 and has issues aiming into the toilet, but what 5 year old doesn't. So I'm having a conversation with him about the importance of aiming and how I want my floor to stop smelling like pee. Well in the middle of my sentence my kid looks me dead in the eyes (which is rare since he's on the spectrum) and asks me "is this a grape?". I'm confused because where the hell did this come from I was talking about pee on my floor. So I ask him, "what is a grape? What are you talking about?". He is still looking me dead in the eyes and says "this".... I look down and his hands are on his testicles. I laugh and tell him "no those aren't grapes, those are your testicles. You have two of them down there." He keeps playing with them... "Where's the other one?" He says... I chuckle and tell him they're both down there trust me. He then runs to grab his pad and proceeds to ask Google what are testicles. (Safe search is on his pad so it just showed anatomy book photos)
But then today..... I was in the grocery store with him and we walked through the produce section. I'm looking at the strawberries and this kid says, loud as fuck by the way, "MY TESTICLES LOOK LIKE GRAPES!" y'all I almost died right there.
https://redd.it/1adkoic
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Here's a funny story about Doodoo Diepurr and Biff bobs in a race
Hello, folks. We're live at the Olympics. Everyone is very excited about the Running race. All eyes will be on Biff Bobs who is representing Brazil. Biff Bobs has already won 4 medals here at the stadium.
Here come the athletes now! Biff Bobs looks a little Angry as she gets ready to race. And they're off. Biff Bobs and Doodoo Diepurr are neck and neck as they near the finish line. The crowd is on their feet Sticking your Gyatt for the Rizzler. Biff Bobs has won, and it's a world record!
We quickly move to the medal ceremony. This is very emotional. We just heard that this is Biff Bobs's last Olympics. Tears are in Biff Bobs's eyes as Brazil's flag is raised and Infinite Bottles Of Pop On The Wall is played. It's a Awesome day for Biff Bobs and all the people from Brazil.
https://redd.it/19exziv
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Little zing I came up with
So b asically my friend Zrack (we call him snack loL!) got the new gamer fuel mtn dew! It was halo and the pals were talking about how halo was bad. So I said "As a non halo player I firmly agree!" and they all busted! out laughing!
https://redd.it/19f8y9a
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them. And my right leg contained my Character Sheet. We call it our "Soul" because if you lose it, they delete your character.
Jokingly I said "A bunch of bird seed and my soul. You want my soul? I will sell you my soul for an admission form."
I couldn't write. I hurt so bad that my hands were shaking. Couldn't write my name. Guy said I could take care of it later, a nurse came out to grab me. She gets me a wheelchair and rolls me to a private room. "Can you tell me what happened?"
Sigh... "So I was running through the forest at 3'o'clock chasing after a boss..."
Get put into a private room, they run the usual "PRESSURE" tests, ask pain level, Mom barges in as I say 6, she says I have a high pain tolerance and corrects me for 7. Nurse leaves.
Doctor walks in looking down at his clip board, looks up at my and almost does a spit-take, then he wears the most humored laughing-jack grin you've ever seen, "HEY THERE BUDDY! Why don't you tell me what happened?!"
"So I was running through the forest at 3'o'clock in the morning chasing after a boss..."
Dude feels my foot, checks my reactions, does his due diligence before saying "Well, let's take an X-Ray and make sure you didn't break anything. I'll send in a Nurse to give you some pain medicine."
So he leaves, a Nurse walks in. "Oh! Hi there! I'm here with your pills. So, what happened?"
"So I was running through the forest at 3'o'clock in the morning chasing after a boss..."
She gives me the pills and a glass of water then leaves. After that, an Off-Duty nurse who just clocked out, cool guy, walks past my curtains and does a double take before sneakily making his way inside. "Don't tell anyone I'm here, I'm off duty. You have a story, I know it."
"So I was running through the forest at 3'o'clock in the morning chasing after a boss..."
Turns out his best friend went to a different LARP event. He didn't go, but he always wanted to. He makes his way out and they send an X-Ray Technician's Assistant to wheelchair me into the Cancer Room.
You guys know the drill already. "So I was running through the forest at 3'o'clock in the morning chasing after a boss."
We go into the Testicle Cancer Chamber. Resident X-Ray Technician looks up from her computer and snaps her head back. "Oh! Wow, hey there! Looks like you were having fun before you got here! What happened?"
You know the song and dance....
So she lays me down, we take some X-Rays. My foot's fine, I just hyper-extended the muscles and bruised a bunch of shit. Here's some crutches, go home. So the Assistant is wheeling me out of the hospital and I ask "Be honest. Is this the weirdest thing you've seen working here?"
"Nope."
Oh, this oughta be good. "Where do I rank?"
"Probably number 3."
"You gotta tell me who 2 and 1 are."
She says "Guy came in here with a pitchfork buried in his left foot because he was moving hay bare-foot. Drove 37 miles to get here, shifting with his skewered foot.
The craziest was a guy who shot himself through his forearm and bicep with the same quill out of a crossbow."
"What the hell? How?"
Okay, so this guy was working on his crossbow. It was one of the magazine-repeating ones. Bow was drawn all the way back and locked, bolt in the magazine but not in the ready-to-fire position.
Dude's fucking with it, twisting it this way and that trying to do some shit. Gets frustrated and goes to fiddle with the magazine whilst simultaneously slamming the crossbow on his worktable. Magazine cycles up, string slips over the catch and viola, Human on a stick.
Pinned his forearm to his bicep strong-man flexing style.
Drove down a mountain and into town to get looked at.
So she wheels me outside, offers to stand me up. I'm 16 and prideful and too cool to ask for help, so I stand up on my own. Hobble into the car. Go home, lay down.
Dad walks in fresh from work, asks "Woah. What happened to you?"
Sigh...
\-Fin-
I apologize if this was unpalatable. First time posting here. Figured I'd share in case someone out there would find it amusing.
Oh, and I survived my injury btw. I'm not a Lich yet
Well I got a nice question for y’all.
When have you ever tried to say two things at once? Just curious.
https://redd.it/1ad27s8
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My girlfriend told me to stop at CVS she needed a few things
I asked her what she needed, I need feminine products, magnum, condoms, and personal lubricant, I said, well thanks honey, but isn’t that going a little overboard with me? she said not at all. My asshole insecure cheating ex works here as a Cashier
https://redd.it/18hpgbp
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Funny pregnancy story
This is about my wife. One time when I was pooping my pregnant wife was downstairs and just for context my wife is high risk. She was cooking and I was just scrolling on my phone. About 4 minutes into after starting to release the inner demons, I hear "BABE!!!...BABE! BABE!!!" Me, knowing she's high risk fall off the toilet, barely being able to half wipe run down stairs only for her to ask "what do you want to eat?" I shake my head to go back upstairs to finish the deed only to find a streak going down the side of the toilet. I use that story to this day to my make wife laugh and smile when she is down. She just knows how I am and sprinted into action just in case anything happens. All at the price of a striped toilet. Plus 5 speed.
https://redd.it/18dbdm7
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GO’s First
I hope the title isn’t as misleading as I think it may but it’s nothing sus, honestly-!
Okay so one time I had a secret that I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about so after wallowing in my stress for like three weeks, I finally decided I should talk to a guidance officer at school because it’s free and confidential. What I needed to talk to them about is actually fairly obscure and probably not what anyone would expect, but still defo stressful for people like me who have trouble being confrontational or setting boundaries. At the end of the session, the guidance officer just kind of sat back and was like:
“Yeah I’ve definitely never dealt with a situation like that. This is definitely my first time hearing of anything like this!”
And I sat back and was like, “Yeah, I kind of expected that to be honest.”
It’s now like a month later, haven’t spoken to them since or done any of the stuff they said I might consider doing, but I’m just happy it’s off my chest and that I was a person who got told “I’ve never heard that” from a freaking guidance officer!
https://redd.it/1850w02
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looking for short story content...
I'm looking for short story content...
I was sitting at home doing my usual 5-10 WFH job and was thinking "god... there has got to be something productive I can do in my spare time from home when I'm not working". well don't you know those faceless YouTube/TikTok channels that just tell stories...yeah well I would like to try it out. my idea was instead of going into a niche right away try telling stories people give me crediting them in the end and seeing what sticks. heads up I'm not promoting popularity here just want something to do...
so if someone feels nice enough to share a story that can fit in YouTube shorts let me know....
side note: I need channel name ideas...
https://redd.it/17wii33
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Stoner Story time: Reddit Edition
You ever just have a moment. In that moment you realize your hungry. You begin to think "Okay. Food first then weed." A plan that is ideal to avoid losing your motor control before trying to make food. Then you decide "I was never really good at following directions." And you hit your bong like you just last in Smash. * DEEEEP INHALE* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKING SEPHIROTH!!! Now your stoned and realizing the only thing you smash is yourself. "GAME!!!" You decide to attempt food. *looks in fridge* "Well we got leftover pizza, one slice of a quesadilla from work, and a high capacity of poor decisions." Then I think "Wait a minute! I have a quesadilla....." *Reasonable voice in my head softly chimes in* "No...don't you do it." *Stoned brain* "The hardest sacrifices take the strongest wills" *Voice of reason* "You are creating an abomination!" I look at my creation and think "I am sorry little one." As I have created the quesapizza (trademark pending) The worst part is...it tastes fucking F A N T A S T I C O!!!!
https://redd.it/17x6ufr
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If your a streamer dont get a job at a school.
in my school we had a libary teacher called ms gross. she was a nice teacher that watches anime. at one point my sister tracked her instagram to a twitch account called Thousand Honey. this account had some cosplay livestreams that were fine but some of them had some swear words and innapropriate content. at first me and my family had to keep this a secret so she did not lose her job but at one point one of my sisters friends shared the info and got the teacher fired. she tried her best to cover it up as some of the other accounts were deleted, privated or dont have any content.
https://redd.it/1ahogri
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I sh*t you not
So 5 of us went on a lads camping trip at 18 in Scotland. We found a nice pitching site with facilities but more important it was near a few pubs and a curry house! We all had a great night catching up over many pints and a lamb buhna, calling it a night around 2am. 4am arrived and something wasnt right. I felt a burning sensation in the back door like a fire breathing dragon was trying to break from the sealed cave. Unfortunately for me I have to sleep naked otherwise I won't drift off, fortunately for me I found a pair of football shorts next to me that I could chuck on and make it to the camping facilities before the devil was summoned from the depths of hell. Managed to just get to the toilet in time and avoid any drama, until I see there was no toilet paper! Undecided on what to do for what seems an eternity, I was contemplating using the shorts and risking a run through the campsite stark naked... This mess needed cleaning. Then, someone entered the room and proceeded to the shower next to the toilet cubicle. As I was plucking up the courage to ask them to go and get some paper, a crisp, white towel flings itself over the toilet/shower parting. The hot shower was steaming up the room so quickly; I like to think of myself as an opportunist and as visibility got worse I whisked that towel off and cleaned up with what could only be described with a beautiful cloud of wonder. The only issue now is I am stuck with a shitty towel... To this day, I still don't know why I did this, but I placed the towel back in the same place it came to my rescue and bolted from the scene of the crime, back to the tent. I just pray he didn't dry his face first...
TLDR: needed a shit, no toilet roll, someone put a towel up to shower, used the towel to clean and put it back with the curry and pints imprinted for eternity.
https://redd.it/1agvwa1
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Cartoon girls
Me and my bf been dating for a while till I found out what he finds hot.
15 f and 22 m. me and my bf have been dating for over 2 years, we had an amazing relationship even tho it was illegal, but lately I found out about his obsession with cartoon girls, and I couldn’t handle it, I found it so weird, so I reported him to the police for pedophilia and I told his family about everything and showed them all texts, his family spread it throughout the city. Now he is in jail, and the whole city hates him
https://redd.it/1af3jeq
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A Coincidence That Helped Me
I don't know English well and there may be mistakes :)
I'm 14 (soon to be 15) but I'm already in 9th grade, due to the fact that I took a test in 4th grade about my transfer to a higher grade. This was done because I was homeschooled as a child, and because of this, I was assigned to the class not by age, but by intelligence.
I have 2 tattoos and dyed blue hair (remember this.) and because of this, the director of the department looked at me as if I was different from them, and in general I am some kind of stranger, although I am Russian by nationality (I live in Bashkortostan).
One day the director called me about my hair, and he started lecturing me
"(name) You shouldn't stand out like that, you're too colorful. We ask you to wash off your hair and hide your tattoos under your shirt."
And of course, what? I didn't listen. The next day I came back in exactly the same way. Without hiding or removing anything. The headmaster was clearly displeased with this and called me to class, which almost sent me a lecture into my already empty head.
After all that, I was really tired, and I decided, "I'm going to do this and he won't even want to talk to me."
I waited until there was no one on the 4th floor of the school, and took a tennis ball and set it on fire (I know that they are like house checkers). The whole floor was covered in smoke, and everyone was taken out, because they thought it was a fire.
The next day, the police arrived at the school and began to look at the cameras and comb out who had done it. And you know what? I DIDN'T KNOW ALL MY LIFE THAT WE HAD CAMERAS, AND IT SEEMED TO ME THAT MY HEART RATE WAS GREATER THAN IF I FELL FROM THE ROOF WITH A PARACHUTE.
Of course, it was hard to see on camera, and only blue hair was visible. I just thought that at the age of 14 I would already be sitting in a pre-trial detention center and telling others what I had done.... But!
It turns out that we have another blue-haired girl in school who just before said "I'm going to burn this school!" ... Everyone counted on her, and I was left unpunished. But you know what? I was terribly frightened.
I didn't feel sorry for that girl, just because she was that who, at the age of 15, was known for being 1 month pregnant after another abortion.
It's been a month since then, but I'm still shaking at the thought of what would happen if the others found out that girl had dyed her hair blue the morning before the police arrived. Lol. :D
https://redd.it/1adqcb4
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I wrote a letter in 5th grade, and it was so fcking funny-
So, when I was in 5th grade, there was this manipulative btch. Let’s call her Karie. And Karie would always be rude and talk behind people’s backs. So one day I decide: “Hey! I have paper and the ability to write! I’m gonna write her a letter.” And here’s what it said:
”Dear, Karie.
Listen, we never exactly got along, but I hope we can’t be friends in the future, you are so rude and manipulative. You little bitch, you think you can get away with anything you want, mother fucker, but you can’t! Just because you were here longer doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want to me. So I really hope you and I can be rivals for as long as we’re living.
Love your best enemy, (insert real name here)”
I wrote this all in 5th grade btw! It made absolutely to sense whatsoever, but again, wrote it in 5th grade, so yeah.
https://redd.it/1adklni
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Starbucks stories
Hey people read it any crazy Starbucks stories?
https://redd.it/19ewpzh
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Little zing I came up with
So b asically my friend Zrack (we call him snack loL!) got the new gamer fuel mtn dew! It was halo and the pals were talking about how halo was bad. So I said "As a non halo player I firmly agree!" and they all busted! out laughing!
https://redd.it/19f8y97
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but thanks for asking.
https://redd.it/1ac0hhe
@r_funnystories
A Necromancer Walks Into a Hospital
So I used to live in New Jersey, unfortunately. Spent 8 years there. Yes, thank you for your sympathy. This will be a long story, so buckle in.
While I lived there, I found a LARP group. Yes, Nerdy as it can possibly get. But it was the most fun I have ever had, and I've led a pretty cool life. The people were some of the most wholesome folks in the world. Firm, but fair and loving.
Keep this in mind, it's going to keep coming up the further you read: "So I was running through the forest at 3 o'clock in the morning chasing a boss."
We're at a Girl-Scout camp we rent out every month, we're having an excellent time and the sun goes down. Usually about now the Game Masters go to bed so they can get up early and do cool stuff, but The Wolfpack decided to do a late-night event.
Werewolf Mercenaries, killable only by Silver, a rare commodity and far less common in weapon form. But we had Westfallen, or Wes for short. A meager young man 27th in line for the Pendrakken throne. He wielded a silver dagger.
We pushed the Mercenaries out of Freehold and into the Hinterlands, a big patch of grassland and 1 big tree where we did all of our final fights.
As a Necromancer, I am adorned in the gnarliest of effects. I have all manner of skulls and bones and teeth and shit hanging off of me. My midnight-black cowboy duster is fastened with 2 overlapping layers of 30 snap-on buttons and does not shift easily, holding tightly onto my legs. I've alchemical components aplenty... a wrist-holder with salt, pepper and garlic.
I am a visage of death, terrifying to view, clad in cloth woven from nightmare. Yet what few understand is that Necromancers are some of the strongest healers. Yes, the method is absolutely wretched and you'd rather die yet it was efficient beyond compare. So I was a pocket healer. Yeah, shut up.
I am following Wes carefully, holding onto him at all times so I can charge him with healing magics. If he falls, so do we.
The Mercenary Captain, The Pack-Leader, sees we've crippled most of his men and they require time to regenerate and so he turns to bolt into the forest.
Nobody else saw this except Wes and I. So we break combat to chase him down.
So I was running through the forest at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Stepped down on a tree branch in the darkness so poorly that I actually stepped on the top of my foot. Eh, whatever. I didn't feel it, so I kept running. Then about a minute later my foot started to hurt, so I took a sit down in the dark. Then I decided I was done for the night and just went to the Inn.
Laid down on the bed and went to sleep.
Stabbing pain in my foot. Whatever, go back to sleep.
God damnit my foot hurts. What the hell is happening? I wake up at 5:30 in the morning, everything is done and every member of The Wolf-Pack, trained EMTs, was asleep.
I didn't want to bother them. I was 16 and just twisted my foot. It wasn't anything super bad. I sat outside for an hour and then threw up. Figured that means it's time to go, so I called my mother and asked her to go home. She took me to the hospital.
So she dumps me out of the car at the emergency entrance, I tell her it's not THAT bad and she drives off to find a parking spot.
I fucked up my leg and it hurts like hell. I can't take any gear off that's affixed to my body.
Ditched the mask, staff, a bunch of skulls and dangling rats, all the alchemical stuff and everything. I'm telling you, I took off as much as I could and I go wandering into the Emergency Access door.
Approach the bored ass dude stationed behind the counter, a security guard who the moment he sees me his hand goes to the taser on his hip. "Hey buddy! How are you doing today?!" Like I'm some weird-ass LARPer who just walked in.
"Yeah, yeah, I know how it looks. Can you help me get processed?" After that he was cool about it. But he did ask, "Do you have anything in your leg pockets we should know about?"
Bird seed wrapped in cloth and tied with 2 rubber bands. Spell Packs. We throw them at people for ranged spells. My legs had like 80 of
My parents have been saying Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are gay for each other 😂😂
Right this is the weirdest thing ever. I believe it’s a joke but idk at this point 😂😂.
So every year we always watch all the Harry Potter films as a family. This year was no different but every time Ron and Harry were in the screen together my stepdad would say something along the lines of. “You see the way Harry looks at Ron” or something like that. At some points he said that Harry seems to be a closeted gay 🤣.
We are now half way through the first deathly hallows and my mum has now stated to join in. Only just a couple of minutes ago we were watching the seen about the three brothers and my stepdad came in. This is how the conversation went.
Stepdad: “so Harry had all three of the items”
Mum: “no not now”
Stepdad: “but he does have all three at some point doesn’t he”
Me: “yes he does”
Stepdad: “so he gets all this stuff and yet all he wants is a stupid ginger”
He needs help 🤣😂🤣😂
https://redd.it/18px4sg
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A Cut In The Cheek By A Snail
Hey, a while ago (6 months) I was hiking in Slovenia with my family in one of their gorges. it was like inside a mountain or something like that, I was a bit ahead of my family so I stood there waiting for my family to catch up so I could keep going, while I stood there watching the flow of the water a snail fell on me from like 10 meters high, from the top of the mountain. at first, I thought it was a rock or something but no it was a straight-up snail, it cut me on my cheek and made me bleed a bit. just wanted to know if it happened to anyone, I wonder how many people in the world can say that a snail cut them on the cheek like what would be the statistic of that occasion.
https://redd.it/18e23rv
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The day I became a meme
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a meme? Well, I can tell you from personal experience that it's not as fun as it sounds. Let me tell you the story of how I became a meme and how it changed my life.
It all started on a sunny day in June. I was walking to the park with my dog, Rex, when I saw a group of kids playing with a drone. They were flying it around and taking pictures of each other. I thought it looked cool, so I decided to join them. I asked them if they could take a picture of me and Rex with the drone. They agreed and told me to pose.
I smiled and held Rex in my arms. He was a cute golden retriever puppy, and I loved him very much. I thought we looked adorable together. The kids told me to look up at the drone and say cheese. I did as they said and waited for the flash.
But then, something unexpected happened. Rex suddenly barked and jumped out of my arms. He ran towards the drone and tried to catch it. The drone flew away, but Rex kept chasing it. He was faster than I thought.
I panicked and ran after him. I shouted his name and tried to get him back. But he was too focused on the drone. He ignored me and kept running.
The kids were laughing and cheering. They thought it was hilarious. They followed us with their phones and recorded everything.
I didn't know it at the time, but they also uploaded the video to the internet. And that's how I became a meme.
The next day, I woke up to hundreds of notifications on my phone. People were tagging me in posts and sending me messages. They were all about the video of me and Rex.
I opened one of them and saw the video. It had millions of views and thousands of comments. It was viral.
The video showed me running after Rex with a desperate expression on my face. It also showed Rex chasing the drone with a determined look on his face. He looked like he was having the time of his life.
The video was edited with music and sound effects. It had captions like "When you see your crush" or "When you're late for work" or "When you want to catch them all". It was supposed to be funny, but I didn't find it amusing.
I felt embarrassed and angry. I didn't want to be a meme. I didn't want to be laughed at by strangers on the internet. I wanted to be left alone.
But that was not possible. The video spread like wildfire. It was everywhere. It was on social media, on news sites, on TV shows, on memes pages, on blogs, on podcasts, on everything.
People started making fun of me and Rex. They called us names like "Drone Chaser" or "Meme Boy" or "Rex Racer". They made jokes about us and our situation. They made remixes and parodies of the video. They made memes out of our faces.
Some people even recognized me in real life. They would point at me and laugh or take pictures of me or ask me for autographs or selfies. They would say things like "Hey, it's the meme guy!" or "Can I see your dog?" or "Do you still chase drones?".
I hated it. I hated being a meme. I hated being famous for something stupid and embarrassing. I hated being harassed by people who didn't know me or care about me.
I wished I could go back to the day before the video was uploaded. I wished I could erase it from the internet. I wished I could have a normal life again.
But that was not possible either. The video was permanent. It was part of the internet culture now. It was part of history.
And so was I.
https://redd.it/188z384
@r_funnystories
Funny Sci Fi comparison
So yeah me and my brother one decided to compare the light speed of different sci fi fictions as transportation going to the coffee shop.
\- First was halo we both decided that it would be a jet probably would crash towards the shop.
\- Next Star wars and star trek would be a car getting their normally.
\- then 40k where its dudes jumping towards a get from hell and loosing one guy.
\- And finally for dune and it was two idiots riding a canoe in the middle of the road and they never get to their destination because they get a ticket not for any road incident but for littering they trying to navigate by through letters in a bottle.
https://redd.it/17zpmdh
@r_funnystories
Story Time: Pest Control
https://youtu.be/NYFt5FKIY-0?si=dkA76M0LC0O-yW9u
https://redd.it/17x2pbt
@r_funnystories
My crush proposed me and then rejected me
OK.... so the title must sound weird but it all started when I began to chat with a guy in my class. Even though we were in the same class, we weren't close but after all those chats we eventually got closer to the point of flirty text. We used to flirt with each other all the time (only in text tho) and only after a few months of constant chats did I realise my feelings for him. I was kinda in a situationship with him and I believed that he liked me since he gave A LOT OF HINTS. sometimes I even used to ignore his hints inorder to tease him. After 7-8 months of chatting I finally decide to confess. Every one of my friends were sure we would date but guess what he rejected me by saying "I love you but I just don't think this will work out" LIKE WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?????
https://redd.it/17v2xqo
@r_funnystories