hibernation in both its symptoms and its trigger—shortening of days.
# Emerging from hibernation and waking up
While this may seem like a bleak analysis, it is actually one of hope. Just as with emerging hibernators, recovering depressives show incredible neural plasticity. Neurons and their connections begin to regrow and repair, the hippocampus enlarges and prefrontal cortex thickens—they are leaving their neurological winter behind as buds of new growth unfurl. Depression then is perhaps not simply a pathological condition of decay, but instead a protective and controlled state of dormancy, and one which the body is prepared and expects to emerge from when the time is right.
But when is that time? Must we wait, as the hibernator does, for the external world to change? For the cold to pass and the spring to come? Perhaps sometimes. We can imagine dormancy being an important survival mechanism in times of war and famine, for vulnerable people experiencing chronic abuse, or perhaps to endure a period of profound social ostracization.
For most however, the right time to emerge from their hibernation is now.
# The path is towards warmth
As we’ve seen, depression is both psychologically and physiologically characterized by feelings of coldness. We experience and interpret our emotions through our bodies, and deep coldness is our emotional experience of chronic fear-based stress. However, this numbing emotion is so strong, it stops us from being able to experience and interpret the broad spectrum of subtle emotions that are designed to guide us through life and indeed make us feel alive. These have become buried beneath a thick sheet of ice. Therefore the north star for a depressed person is to find sources of deep warmth that can break through the ice and help us to feel once again.
Physical warmth – The most immediate way to generate warmth is through exercise. The feeling of blood rushing through your veins and into your muscles grounds you in your physical self, it lets you feel colour and life within the seat of your emotions—your body, it makes you feel alive and awake.
Social warmth – Whether it is due to being burnt by the ones we love, or the coldness in others slowly sucking the life from us, people with depression often have difficulty opening up to connect deeply with others. Consider the people in your own life and ask yourself: who most warms your heart when you think of them? This could be the person to look to for support, the person you’ll most readily be able to trust and connect with.
Spiritual warmth – As simple as feeling sunlight on your face, walking in a forest, or connecting with whatever higher forces, be they natural or otherwise, that appeal to you. Feeling loved by and connected to the world around you, and seeing the world as a place of comfort and warmth. Feeling that you are not an alien in the world, but that you were made for the world and the world was made for you.
Passionate warmth – The greatest and most reliable sources of warmth are the ones we generate from within. Having something you deeply value and feel a burning passion for is a positive, life-enriching form of stress called eustress. It makes your heart beat with excitement instead of fear, it makes your blood rush through your body instead of retreating to your organs, it makes you feel thick with the warmth of life instead of a cold, emotionless apathy. It puts you in fight mode instead of flight mode. If you think you don’t have a passion, it may be that you’ve become too disconnected from your emotions to feel what it is. As you warm up in other ways it will begin to reveal itself to you.
Anger – A perhaps surprising addition to this list, and one which depressed people often have trouble managing, but when the heat of anger is properly harnessed and directed, it can be an important source of vitality. Feeling what makes you angry shows you what you care about, what you value. It is your sense of justice, your sense of self-worth, your love for those that matter to you. It is a guide as to
things and exercising, but it feels superficial. I am unsure how long I can keep going like this.
If you have made it this far, any advice would be appreciated.
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The Cost of Dreams [image]
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Discussion I am in my fifth year of college and failing miserably
please i need advice i am freaking out.
honestly school was never my thing. i could never learn the way that teachers taught whether it was from powerpoints or textbook readings, and that’s how most professors teach in college. i realized in my second year of college that i have ADD and was prescribed stimulants but had to stop taking them because they made my already diagnosed anxiety increase.
i’ve also struggled with severe treatment resistant depression for at least 7 years now which has severely impacted not only my grades but every aspect of my life from career to identity to relationships and friendships. and i am at rock bottom right now which only has made it worse. i’ve been in and out of inpatient and outpatient treatment, i’ve been on multiple medicines, and have seen multiple therapists and luckily a lot of my professors have been as accommodating as they can. whenever i was in the hospital or if i expressed that i was going through a depressive episode they would always let me complete assignments and exams at a later date. it probably helps that most of my professors are therapists and psychologists since i am majoring/studying psychology (big mistake btw).
so my current situation. i have failed and dropped out of many classes over the past five years. because of this i now have a 2.1 gpa, barely missing academic probation. i just got off of academic probation after being on it for at least a whole school year. last year was my best college academic year yet, but after moving back home this fall it has plummeted. i am only taking classes now to reach the amount of credits to graduate and all of my other required classes for my major, minor, and core classes are complete.
the past three months my mom has been in and out of the hospital because her kidneys were failing and she had to have a transplant but there have been lots of complications since. ive been with her for every appointment and hospital visit but it has taken a toll on my mental health. also being home in a toxic environment has also worsened my mental state. i’ve been struggling with what’s going on in the world and also my identity and being unemployed. i know these are not excuses but i’m explaining why i am so burnt out and unmotivated. it’s hard to focus on anything with my mental illnesses.
one of my professors just informed me that i am failing her class. i completely thought i was passing because i have an 85% according to canvas but there were assignments that were required that did not show up on my dashboard. it’s an asynchronous class and honestly i haven’t watched or attended any of the lectures but i’ve aced the first exam and completed the assignments that have shown up on my dashboard. on the syllabus it says that attendance is optional but what i missed on there is that it’s optional as long as you watch the recordings posted and complete the labs (these are the assignments that didn’t show up) i have been completing the assignments posted on my dashboard and i thought that’s all i needed to do but my professor told me that i haven’t completed any of the labs that are based on the lectures that count towards attendance which are the ones that didn’t show up on canvas dashboard. so i am failing. she told me i need to complete every assignment from now on or drop the course.
i told her i didn’t know these assignments were required and thought the discussion posts that i have been doing counted towards attendance but i realized that i probably just outed myself for not actually looking at the recorded lectures posted where she probably discussed the assignments that i missed. i am a mess. i can’t fail. i only need to pass this semesters classes and two more next semester to graduate. i also cannot afford to lose my financial aid.
this is all my fault i know i should be doing better but i am in a very dark sad state right now i can barely leave my bed nowadays.
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discussion I'm procrastinating because I don't know where and how to start..
It feels like I'm just wasting so much critical time doing nothing but worrying and stressing over my goals. Like at times, I get so confused that I forget what is it even I'm trying to overcome. I get drawn in this thoughts and feelings where I just seem to pay a lot of attention. And you get this highs and lows throughout the day.
I had goals in my mind that I wanted to achieve which I set almost 5 years ago after high school was done. Yet, as I look at my life right now. I realized wow I haven't achieved 1 single goals from this list. All I've been doing is worrying and not taking actions. Idk if I'm scared, feared, anxiety, perfectionism whatever it maybe but I really really want to overcome this. Most people would literally stop giving a damn on the thinking part and start the doing part instead. And I'm here overanalyzing and overthinking leading to zero results. And since I haven't done anything. My confidence is down. I'm not feeling aware, smart and capable of doing anything. It feels that I'm not even using my brain at times. Auto piolet mode
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Chase real dopamine, not cheap dopamine [image]
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Side hustle is still hustling [image]
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Discussion My Mistake
I made a mistake in life, and its affected my beloved one. I apologise but i don't know when she will forgive me. Whenever im wake up for sleep, im having thought of ending my life. The only things stopped me is probably my kids and my religion/belief. I believe my wife also in depressed situation as my problem with her is something that cant be openly discussed. I really appreciate if anyone out there can help me getting motivated.
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Discussion What made you push through the fear of what the consequences of embarrassing yourself/not smart enough for something and failing could do if you try a goal out of your comfort zone?
What helps you to push through that?
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Your mind, Your Power [image]
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Tool Write a letter/apology to yourself.
This deals with the emotional relationship with yourself and motivation. It's a whole 'nother story when it comes to logical. Remember that they both play a role in progress. Please reference another tool such as a system or tips to get the rest of the way there. This is for people like me who have an emotional barrier preventing them from taking action or more action. Or if you read a lot of stories and try to relate, but don't forget that you are a different, unique, and frickin' amazing person. Please feel inspired to write your own letter to yourself and try to connect to them! Post in the comments even. Sometimes you have a lot of thoughts it's important to write them down. However, I just ended up rambling a lot, but it got out my rambling energy. I think for me, my letter really addressed all my insecurities face-to-face. And, other methods such as small gratitude or such and such didn't quite scratch the emotional itch or were too guided for me to personalize them to my own issues. I hope this helps you, but even if it doesn't, good luck friend :)
Open letter:
In this life, so much shit happens, and it's so hard to remember it all. Bits and pieces come back to mind, but all they do is upset you like it did before. You're not perfect, and you admit that. Not in an unapologetic way, but you know sometimes you're wrong.
Sometimes you've had to put yourself first. Everyone has to eventually. Remember that in this life you have always tried to help people. Remember how grateful they said they were?
That's all over now. People move on. You have to live with yourself. You can't change the past, but you trust your past self did what she had to do. You wouldn't change a thing about your past.
Please choose to live a better life now. I forgive you for fucking up whatever. It's so little in the grand scheme of things. Just remind that to yourself for me from time to time. Your life is not over now. You have so much more life left.
I'm sorry I left you the mess that your life is right now. You can make it better. You can do it. There's no point living like you do now. You know it doesn't make you feel better. It will not get better on its own. I know you say you're trying. But, I'm here to tell you it doesn't stop. You can't get better without pushing yourself and growth always hurt. There's a lot more to learn and some say it gets easier. Keep going.
Sadly, in this world, there's a lot of sadness, tragedy, and despair. You were dealt some of that hand. You kept distracted and your head down working. You got out of there and faced new, harder challenges. You had to figure out a new way to cope with it. You're still figuring it out. Trial and error is a bitch.
Be honest. Social media. Stop looking at that shit. Especially the food content.
Go to the gym. Walk your dog. Swim. Workout to Youtube videos.
Eat fruits and veggies. Sleep enough. Drink water. Brush your teeth. Take your medicine and supplements.
Don't clench your teeth. Relax your muscles. Stretch. Take deep breathes. Try your best. You will get there eventually. You won't get there at all if you don't try.
Come back here when you lost your mind. You have bad memory.
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People are just temporary, accept that! text
There are 5-minute people in your life,
there are 5-day people in your life, and
there are 20-year people in your life.
Acknowledge that the time we spend with people is mostly limited. Often, we cannot predict how much time we will spend together. But what we can do is recognize that our time with them is finite.
Treat them with that awareness. Ask them the questions you are curious about. Learn from them as if they might leave tomorrow. Share with them the things you'd like them to know. Create memories that will outlast time, and offer them kindness when they least expect it.
But don’t, don’t take their presence for granted. They could be gone tomorrow already.
Cherish.
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Discussion What Tasks or Goals Have You Been Procrastinating On Recently?
Hi everyone,
We all have things we put off from time to time. I’m curious to hear about the tasks or goals you’ve been procrastinating on lately. Sharing our experiences can help us understand common challenges and maybe even find ways to overcome them together.
1. What specific tasks or goals have you been putting off recently?
2. What do you think is the main reason for the procrastination? (e.g., lack of motivation, feeling overwhelmed, uncertainty about how to start, etc.)
3. Have you found any strategies or techniques that help you tackle these procrastinations? If so, what are they?
Feel free to share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. Let’s support each other in getting things done!
Thanks for sharing!
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[Video] Just 2 Weeks Post-Car Accident Where He Lost His Leg, 22 Hours After Hittin' the Hospital, Pro Athlete Takes His First Run
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Discussion Motivational podcasts tio kick-start the day ?
Hey everyone! Are there any podcasts you enjoy listening to in the morning that help motivate and push you to kick start the day?
A few years ago, I was feeling a bit down and going through a lazy phase. A friend introduced me to the Tony Robbins app, and it really helped me get back on track. It motivated me to hit the gym almost daily and really seize the day and control of my life. Maybe having someone shout in my ear had that effect!! Haha
Do you have any recommendations for podcasts or audio content that are motivating and energizing? Looking for something to boost my morning commute.
Thanks !!
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Depression: It's Time to Emerge From Your Hibernation Article
Imagine a bear during hibernation season. Cold, barely able to move, shut away in its den, a shell of its summer self. Its extreme torpor making any kind if movement a chore as it lays there trying to get through the winter.
The ground squirrel takes hibernation to a more extreme degree. It is considered a true hibernator as its metabolism plummets and brain sheds excess cognitive weight. Its dominant concern is survival. Even if it were to be disturbed by a predator, it could not properly awaken from this state—its body and mind have become too withered and will require time and warmth to rejuvenate.
Now imagine a person, cooped up in their bedroom, wrapped up under the covers, unable to move and get themself out of bed. They have no desire to engage with other people and feel completely drained of energy. Like the bear and squirrel, they exist in a state extreme torpor. They hide away from the outside world and engage in mindless activities to distract them from the cold. They find themself struggling to complete even the most basic of tasks.
In all three cases, a biological reaction to stressful conditions has occurred, leading the organism to retreat into seclusion and wait out the storm. Just as the cold weather and poor foraging opportunities have rendered activity pointless for the bear and squirrel, so too has the stress and bitterness of life made worldly engagement feel futile for the person. The warmth and acceptance of human connection has been quenched from the world, leaving them left out in the cold and seeking shelter. Following their instincts, they retreat into a safe place and enter a state of dormancy - a kind of hibernation.
# Psychological and neurological similarities
There are some remarkable similarities between depression and hibernation on a psychological and neurological level.
Seeking solitude and safety - A key shared psychological feature is an intense desire to for seclusion, hidden away in a private place away from the stresses of the world. Many depressives even experience bodily dissociation as they retreat further and further into themselves. While some animals hibernate in groups, they always do so in a sheltered place they won’t be disturbed.
Chronic stress - Stress in both cases triggers a hypothalamic response to conserve energy and minimise resource consumption.
Retreat from the cold - The cold, bitter numbness a depressed person feels towards the external world, and their retreat into a place of warmth, is more than just a metaphor. Stress hormones released by the sympathetic nervous system cause blood to be drawn away from the extremities to feed vital organs and skeletal muscles. This creates a very real sense of cold that is only relieved by relaxation triggers which activate our parasympathetic nervous system. However the chronic stress characteristic of depression blunts the parasympathetic response, causing the depressed person to feel constant state of cold numbness.
Reduced monoamine neurotransmitter levels - Dopamine, serotonin, and noradrenaline levels are all markedly reduced in both cases, generating the symptoms of torpor and motivational deficit. Low serotonin and dopamine levels also contribute to mood disturbances in depression.
Neural atrophy - The brain is a resource hungry organ, and reducing energy requirements via neural atrophy is a feature of both depression and hibernation. The brain areas most affected in both cases are the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus. These structural changes can contribute to the reduced problem solving and emotional management skills typical of depression.
Circadian rhythm disruption - Both show a flattening of circadian rhythms - normal day-night cycles have little relevance when in a state of dormancy. For depression, this usually means brain fog / sleepiness during the day and restless insomnia at night. Seasonal affective disorder is a common result of wintertime circadian rhythm flattening and bares stark similarity to
Discussion 33M, single, zero internal motivation.
I am a 33-year-old man, single, and living with my parents in Delhi. Up until two years ago, I thought I was earning a decent salary in the IT industry for someone with my experience, but my growth has been stagnant since. It is surprising to see software engineers with just 3-4 years of experience earning so much more now. Still, I have saved around ₹90 lakhs with no liabilities, yet I live in constant anxiety and fear of the unknown.
Since starting my first job in 2014, I have never felt motivated to work. I kept going because, coming from a lower-middle-class family, quitting was not an option. In 2019, I set a goal to have a net worth of ₹50 lakhs by age 35. I achieved this in 2021 at 29, and while it made me happy for a few days, I soon returned to my usual gloom. Over time, I have realized that I find it difficult to focus or grasp things easily because there is always too much going on in my mind.
A few years ago, I did not compare myself to others, but now I do. I see peers earning ₹60-70 lakhs annually, almost four times my salary, married with kids, and motivated to grow in their careers. I, on the other hand, have always lacked the motivation to "grow." I often feel there is so much more to explore in life, but many people seem to stick with one thing early on and call it their passion without considering the endless possibilities out there.
My relationship with money is similar. I plan my savings and expenses to an extent, but that is about it. Three years ago, I realized I was chasing higher salaries without any real motivation or purpose. After switching jobs a few times, I stopped. I believe that my lack of interest in my work also leaves me unmotivated by the financial rewards it could bring. It is ironic, as I have always been a minimalist and could live comfortably on a modest salary, whether active or passive. However, society judges you by your net worth, and that starts to weigh on you. Some of my closest friends have changed their attitude toward me as they started earning more and advancing in their careers. Many of them got married at the "right" time too. I feel stuck in a low-end job largely due to societal pressure.
Corporate life suffocates me, but I am unable to quit. Working from home during COVID was a relief, but in India, anything that brings happiness to the common man does not last long.
My parents are over 60. My father is still working and, although he has many good qualities, his fearful and overly cautious nature overshadows them. In my 33 years, I do not recall him ever saying, "Let us try this, we can do it." He has been pessimistic all his life, which is why he continues to live in fear, even with a net worth of ₹1.7 crores. My mother developed anxiety in 2020 and is generally fearful. She emotionally manipulates me (unintentionally, I believe) into avoiding anything new. Even when we are not at fault and should stand up for ourselves, she does not allow it. She is resistant to therapy or doctor visits, and all of this is affecting my mental health.
My family lives in constant fear and avoids change or risk. Convincing my parents to try something new is always a struggle. I feel morally obligated to stay in Delhi to care for them. At 33, I have realized that my biggest mistake was blindly following my parents throughout my life. I lost the ability to make my own decisions. I see this confidence in my friends, and they are all successful. My lack of self-esteem is also why I am often rejected in marriage proposals, though I am not eager to get married right now.
More than anything, I want to live a life free from self-doubt. I want to make decisions—right or wrong—without doubting myself. I also want to become somewhat detached from my parents. It is hard to watch them live so fearfully at their age. At 60+, they should be more practical and brave. Or perhaps I am being selfish and avoiding my responsibilities. My mental health is deteriorating, and online consultations have not helped. I distract myself by learning new
[Image] Nice!
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Direction matters [image]
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Image Good luck follows hardwork!
Stay motivated to work hard
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Article Are You Underestimating Yourself? TLDR - Probably!
Ever feel like you're not quite where you want to be? It's a common sentiment among those striving for greatness – happily discontent can be a resourceful place to be.
It’s not unusual for a person to think they’re doing worse than they actually are: we’re hardwired towards the negative. Some of us are pessimistic, others have limiting beliefs lurking: I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy – progress is just luck, setbacks re-enforce limiting beliefs.
Consider the indicators of those who make it:
• You learn from setbacks. Rather than dwelling on just the mistakes, you arrive at a balanced view and modify – rather than abandon - your plans to learn and continue growing. You identify any patterns behind repeating the same errors. People have a strong tendency to repeat their behaviours. Responses from the past may have server well then, but perhaps not now. You can choose to respond differently – and achieve different outcomes.
• You’re clear on your purpose and priorities. Knowing what you want is the second key step to getting it (knowing who and what you are is the first.) Knowing what you want differentiates you from those who aimlessly floating through life. Once you know what you want, prioritisation becomes easier.
• You understanding the difference between important and urgent. We all have 168 hours each week and the choice on how to use them. You focus on what is important. You align your actions with your chosen goals. You have the habit of asking yourself what is the most important thing you could be doing right now. You avoid deluding yourself with merely being busy.
• You have made some progress already. Consistent progress is a great sign. Even when your goals feel far in the distance, regular progress – driven by consistent effort and learning – will get you there. As well as planning what more needs to be done, reflect on how far you have already come.
• You’re not alone. There are many people are alone in the world. If you’re not alone, you’re doing better than many others. Engaging with people who share your values and aspirations provides encouragement and perspective.
• You’re committed. You know who you are and what you’re about. Your goals are clear. They create meaning for you, value for others and legacy for the future. Great things happen when your purpose, actions, and your environment align.
• You consider other’s opinions. You learn what is resourceful to you and discard what isn’t. You live your life, not theirs.
• You are grateful. You regularly reflect on what has gone well and – crucially – on why it has gone well. You have skills and strengths you don’t even realise.
• You’re authentic. You know your values and beliefs. You make your decisions and take your actions consistent with these. Grounded in your values and beliefs, you make decisions that reflect your true self. Your authenticity shines through in your actions, fostering trust and credibility.
When you have aligned your values, beliefs, purpose, actions, and environment you will doing better than most. This is true, even if the results have yet to reveal themselves.
Desire + Strategy + Persistence = Authentic Results
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DISCUSSION ow do you not feel ashamed of your flaws and things you're working on, as your working on them?
How do you not just feel overwhelmed by embarrassment and shame when you are working on yourself? Like even if you are able to be more positive about yourself or reframe things and focus on self improvement and solutions, how do you cope with the knowledge that you have all of these flaws and problematic things about yourself, moral failings, awkwardness, lack of social skills, discipline, bad posture, anxiety that is contagious and bad mood bringing people down, maybe you are selfish on occasion and you realize you interrupt people when nervous, and often you are too aloof and it's off-putting and you dont look people in the eye, have bad special awareness probably annoying your coworkers in the kitchen, your a pushover and say sorry too much and everyone is sick of it and tells you to stop, and you have a bad habit of overreacting and give in to cravings, maybe an addiction as well you annoying habits...
So as you are working on fixing them one by one or whatever how do you cope with just existing with the awareness that you are this flawed and others are perceiving youm it's embarrassing to exist.
What if you ar basically inferior in many if not most ways to most people you know and interact with. How do you even feel worthy of someone else's time or attention let alone friendship when you have so much wrong with you or you just are so behind on life and they are wise and even though everyone struggles and suffers, obviously,.they are ethically and morally superuor and have the skills and will to be a better person, more productive, discoplined and socially mature? You learn from them but how is that fair for them? Aren't you just a burden then?
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discussion How do you bounce back when you feel defeated by life?
I wanted to get some advice on improving life and taking control of it. It feels that since im not taking actions in life and constantly beating myself up in a way from overthinking and interacting with this feelings or thoughts that run in my mind all day. I seem to experience highs and lows, I try to watch motivation content but I'd say it helps for a min or two. Yet once again whenever a thought pops up or I'm getting lectured or being compared to others is when I'm back to the drawing board. And I'm just so so tired of repetitively watch videos and tired of finding clarity. It seems like I have no self control.
My thoughts make me feel as if I'm just no good. I'm meant to be this soft person who never speaks up and fights for his happiness and peace. I understand nothing in life is easy nor anything will be handed. If I keep saying this daily oh I want a good paying job, I want to finish college. I want to learn driving, I want a good physique and so on. I obviously need to work .. need to start somewhere instead of overthinking and planning because it's not taking me anywhere. My mind gives me more cons than pros about anything. And I'm just trapped in this fear.
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Discussion How to Fix my life in 20s?
I am a 20Y/O M. I will share a short story about myself-
i completed my +2 in 2021. Then after I joined bachelor and Failed in 1 and 2nd year and now i am in a 3rd year. Suffering from Anxiety and depression. I dont know what causes me Depression and anxiety .Ohh god i feel like very unlucky . Again another disease Gastritis arises. Now lost a weight and People arecalling me druggist and They used to say me i take weed. I am Feeling too demotivated. I am learning language also bit most of the time i procastinate and Feel stressed . I cant sleep properly. I think My Life wont go For a long time. Now a days i am thinking more. When i try to do a new thing , Lots of thoughts comes into my mind.
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STORY Very appreciative about positive fortunes.
I got a pretty bad toothache the other day.
I got a random call today from my Health Insurance. I've had it a few years, and never used it other than seeing an eye doctor like 3 years ago. They set me up with an appointment for a doctor checkup next week. Tomorrow morning, I will be seeing a dentist. I also have $35 per month OTC at the pharmacy. So I went, and got some stuff. It resets at the first of each months o I can go back and do it again.
I was able to go to the bank to update some info. And my card was expiring this month so I was able to get that sorted out.
I also got to hang out with some friends. They like music so we did a bit. I mostly do vocals, but I know a bit of piano. Then we talked about our autistic friend who is beyond terrible at music. Like the worst. But he loves it and has dedicated his life to music. My friend mentioned that he had uploaded some stuff. So I wanted to check it out. And of course, my friend wanted to know why I would want to subject myself to that. I found it online, and we went through some of it. It was torture. But it was fun for us laughing about it. It's kind of mean, but we're also the first ones to have his back. So even though we totally thing he has no business doing music, it's what he loves. So we make the best of it.
When I brought my cat out for a walk this afternoon, one of the neighbor kids wanted to play with her. Small girl. So I was happy to let her play for a bit while I organized my car.
I usually write daily positive things to appreciate. Like even small things. But I haven't in awhile.
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How to Get Out of an Emotional Rut: 5 Simple Tips Tool
We’ve all been through moments when life seems to fall apart. Breakups, the loss of a loved one, problems at work — during times like these, it’s easy to feel like doing nothing at all. Recently, I went through a tough period myself: an event knocked me off track, and it became almost impossible to work. I didn’t feel like doing anything, and that feeling lingered. In such moments, it can be really difficult to pull yourself out of an emotional rut.
Drawing from personal experience and research, I’ve put together a few tips that can help:
1. Allow Yourself to Feel
Accepting your emotions instead of suppressing them can help you work through them more quickly. Studies show that this reduces stress levels (Chambers et al., 2009). So, if you’re feeling angry or sad, don’t hold it in. Give yourself the time and space you need.
1. Get Moving
Physical activity not only boosts your mood but also reduces symptoms of depression (Craft & Perna, 2004). Even a short walk can give you an energy boost. The key is not to stay still!
1. Set Small Goals
Big tasks can feel overwhelming, so it’s often better to break them down into smaller steps. This boosts motivation and lifts your mood (Heckhausen et al., 2010). Start with something simple: for example, tidy up your desk or make breakfast.
1. Remember Your Friends
Support from loved ones helps you get through tough times more easily (Cohen & Wills, 1985). If you can’t talk to friends, consider sharing in online communities or forums.
1. Good Sleep is Half the Battle
Sleep affects our mood and our ability to handle stress (Walker, 2017). Try to establish a regular sleep routine: avoid screens before bed, and create a cozy environment in your bedroom.
These simple steps really help me get through tough moments. I hope they’re useful for you too. Let’s support each other!
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Finally motivated again after feeling like I was in a long, deep freeze story
I wanted to share a bit of my story with you all in hopes it might resonate with someone who feels like they’re walking through fire right now. THIS JOURNEY IS HARRRRD.
Not too long ago, I hit what felt like the lowest point of my life. After leaving the Mormon church, I felt like my entire world was being torn apart. The foundation I’d built my life on crumbled beneath me, and things only got harder from there. I went through a brutal divorce, where I was convinced I was the problem. I lost my sense of self completely, and after 10 years of being a stay-at-home mom, I had no job, no direction, and no clue how I’d ever move forward.I was depressed, suicidal, barely able to get out of bed. I felt like a shell of a human—numb, lifeless, and weighed down by memories I had buried for years, including childhood sexual abuse I had just started remembering. I was lost, unsure of how I’d survive—let alone thrive.
But, deep down, there was this tiny flame. A belief. A belief that maybe, just maybe, I could build something new. Something better.Slowly, I started rebuilding. I created a new belief system, grounded in my own truth. I built a successful music teaching business from scratch, one that allowed me to choose my own hours and provide for my kids. Trained to be a coach so I can help others like me. I dove headfirst into my trauma, healing my inner child from the ground up. And little by little, I started to feel alive again.
Today, my life feels completely different. I dance around the kitchen with my kids, laugh like I never knew was possible, and soak in the beauty of even the simplest moments. I’ve surrounded myself with the most amazing group of friends who lift me up and allow me to do the same for them. I live with my best friend, we both have 4 kids, and treat each other with the love, respect, fun, and assistance that we didn't know was possible. I’m in a relationship with someone who sees me for who I truly am, who supports me in feeling everything and who helps me unlearn the unhealthy messages I grew up with.
I’m building the life I’ve always dreamed of, filled with joy, peace, expansion, vibrancy, and unconditional love for myself and others. I never thought I’d get here, but I did—and if you’re feeling like you’re at rock bottom, I just want you to know that it is possible to rise again. Healing is not for the faint hearted and SO MANY SUBCONSCIOUS messages get in the way if you don't figure out why the fuck you can't just do the damn thing. I've been there. I see you. That is all.
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@r_getmotivated
Be You [Image]
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@r_getmotivated
Authentically Unstoppable [image]
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@r_getmotivated
Discussion How to motivate yourself?
Hi together,
how do you motivate yourself to do things?
The most common hint I got is to reward yourself with something you always want to do or you want to buy.
But really? I buy or do it anyway if I want it. Don't know how people really get that as a motivation point. Do you maybe have some ideas of how to bring you into the mood to do the stuff which is needed to reach your goals or to do stupid day to day tasks? :) I really want to but don't know how to motivate myself. So thanks upfront for any kind of solution.
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@r_getmotivated
