Is it okay to have fantasies? Which ones are considered normal?
Let me and you together dispel a couple of popular myths:
1. Fantasies are given to us for pleasure and orgasm attainment. If they help you, great! Use it! I'd rather have an orgasm with fantasies than no orgasm at all;
2. Fantasizing doesn't mean you want to do it. Just like watching gay/lesbian porn by women doesn't tell you anything yet!
3. Fantasies don't have to come to life in the same format that you imagine them to be. Have you tried staging a double penetration with an extra dildo? Try it if you've wanted it for a long time but are afraid of real group sex!
4. If you don't have fantasies, you're okay too! 👌🏻
Essential nuances of female physiology
Sometimes men are not enough one approach, and they try to resume the process soon after the chosen one has experienced an orgasm.
However, we must consider the peculiarities of the female body, trust me, not all women are able to quickly inflame the desire for sex immediately when they have already reached the highest point of pleasure.
Although there are exceptions to the rules, capable of multiple orgasms in a short time.
I wanna warn you to be ready for the fact that the girl needs some time to rest. Also you should understand: it will be more difficult to excite your partner the second time.
She is on top
Statistics demonstrate that over 60% of women have their most vivid orgasms in this position.
First of all, it is the assailant position that gives us the ability to control the angle and depth of penetration, set the pace and vary it in the process.
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Secondly, it is a stimulation of the clitoris. With the right position and the proper amplitude, you are not only stimulating the G-spot, but also the clitoris.
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Thirdly, you are in complete command of the parade. Before the very onset of orgasm, when there is already a stabilization of arousal, it is the woman who needs to move.
How many men should a woman have? So that she wouldn't be "Whor..."⠀
Personally, I'm amused by the coddling about this. Why?
Cause it shows the vulnerability of women in today's society and good old-fashioned double standards.
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Society imposes rigid stereotypes on women, from an early age, about how many men she should have. And if their number is higher than the "norm", then the woman immediately moves to the status of a lady of easy virtue.
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I'm not judging or approving of any number.
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After all, the only thing you owe in this life is nothing.
No one owes anyone anything and this is a fact. Everything else is subjective expectations and social patterns-stereotypes. It has nothing to do with debt.
Does sex change over the years in your couple❓
I bet it does, and that's totally normal.
So there you are, you meet, you date, then you start living together. At first everything was just fine: sex every day, passion, variety and experimentation.
Just a thought, a kiss or a lucky bend was enough to excite you...😈
But after 6+ months ( all in different ways) not the most pleasant changes began, which in the absence of reliable knowledge about sex and the right actions can lead to cheating and even breakup. So, the question is, what to do?
About that later...❤
"I have no idea what I like"
In my practice, I've noticed that this issue affects women more severely. What's the solution?
✔ Explore yourself!
One of the nicest ways is to do it with toys. Boys, this might be a great gift for a progressive girl who likes it hot😏
You can use small vibrators for external stimulation to awaken a woman's erogenous zones.
How does this work? Using them, a woman in a relaxed state seeks out which zones respond to stimulation. This exercise is recommended to do for 21 days, and the knowledge you have gained about yourself can be further used both in solo sex, and in sex with a partner.
And even if you have already studied your body enough, it will never be superfluous a little helper, able to quickly relieve stress and return a good mood.
⚡There is one little physiological secret that helps to get your partner more aroused: Massage the base of the big toes.
Remember this, or better yet, write it down!
This provides additional blood flow to the genitals, and it's also quite pleasant😏
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Can you substitute the lubricant with a home remedy? With vegetable oil, for instance, or petroleum jelly?
Many times people ask me, and I keep wondering...
My friends, these are not the kind of experiments that you need to do if you want mind-blowing sex, sure, and not a bunch of problems afterwards.
No, you cannot replace it, cause intimate gels, unlike other products, have the right, "friendly" for the microflora of the vagina acid-alkaline environment. Oil, cosmetic cream or petroleum jelly can break it.
Food oil in general is not the best solution when it comes to vaginal penetration. Not for nothing are oil-based lubricants used today more for intimate massage, handjobbing, manual stimulation and for male masturbation.
What to do if your partner only has an orgasm in one position?
What does the client's situation indicate? A low level of sexual prowess. Man does not know about the different types of female orgasm and how you can bring them to the partner. Fortunately, this can be fixed, all you need is a little knowledge and practice, practice and practice😉
And the girl just found a position in which she 100% gets an orgasm. But that doesn't mean that in other poses she isn't able to reach the finale.
Tell you how to fix the situation:
- Take time for quality foreplay, which should last at least 30-40 minutes.
- Learn intravaginal techniques to awaken the sensitive areas of the vagina. Then a woman will cum in any position, even a few seconds after the penetration of the penis.
Have you tried gratuitous oral sex?
Surely this thing takes dedication and unselfishness.
But isn't it worth trying to give her oral sex without demanding the same in return at least once in order to remain a sweet and caring guy in her eyes forever?
Surprised by this approach, a girl will want to please you more frequently and more😉
We're all bisexual...
I read this curious statement the other day👆🏻
Freud argued that people are 100% bisexual by nature. The logic behind the assertion was quite simple - it doesn't matter who is stimulating the erogenous zones - male or female. The orgasm will happen. So what difference does it make who you have sex with if the physical sensations are the same?
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He explained that people have constructed their own sexual boundaries in their heads. And if you take away all the accepted norms and stop thinking about what's right, bisexuality will be exposed. ⠀
What Freud didn't take into account then was that it is our brain that determines the level of pleasure. And if a person dislikes having sex with a person of his own sex, there will be no pleasure, much less orgasm. And we absorb the generally accepted norms from birth, so it's extremely difficult to "push our boundaries" like that.
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Do you think we are all 100% bisexual?
Erection Rings
I'm rested and now ready to give you a sex education😌
Erection rings are sex toys specifically designed to prolong and enhance erections.
They squeeze the penis, reducing blood flow. They come in singles like the photo, and some come in doubles/threesies. I do not advise to use them too often, but at times they can be quite helpful.
However, instead of an erection ring, you can use a squeezing technique: squeeze the place between the shaft and the head with your fingers before the onset of orgasm.
Could you do it again? 😏 This technique is called shibari.
For some couples shibari turns into a practice that diversifies intimate life — partners tie each other up (obviously, not simultaneously😄) and have sex while the body of one of the partners is in the harness.
It's useless to write about it — you only need to see and experience it for yourself, otherwise the most detailed and emotional descriptions are pointless.
Many people associate whips with BDSM, yet their use is far broader!
Oh, my darlings, the gentle whip, or flogger, is not designed for painful strokes, but for more convincing role-playing reincarnations.
Combining a powerful psychological effect with low impact, the flogger is great for couples who are new to experimenting.
Once arousal has peaked and patience is no longer possible, you can move on to playing with the flogger's contoured pen, designed for penetration.
Orgasm without friction
Shall we try it?))
How to do: The man presses his penis against the clitoris and moves his hips from side to side. Both the clitoris and the penis are to be stimulated at the same time. This way, you can come to a hot finale together😌
Nipple stimulation
☝🏻 Stimulation of several erogenous zones increases the sensations, resulting in a more vivid orgasm. A variety of different sex toys can be used for nipple stimulation.
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Stimulating gel can create sensual and warming pleasure. Provides a pleasant and quite long-lasting refreshing and cooling effect, awakening desire.
Apply a small amount of this gel, it should work in a few minutes. Do not forget to do a test for allergic reactions before the first use of a new gel.
Disneyland for Adults
As a matter of fact, the lion's share of referrals to me as a sexologist can be solved or at least partially solved with the help of a sex shop.
Such as dry sex. The partner thinks the woman doesn't want him enough, and she feels guilty about it. Where's the problem? Well, we do not have it, cause our nature did not prepare us for intercourse for more than 7-15 minutes, and, accordingly, not as much lubrication is secreted as we may need in this process. So, this is physiology, which does not depend on the desire or unwillingness of a woman.
That's what you need, as well as really enjoyable, to use lubricant.
The problem of the lack of sparks in sex or its monotony can be solved with numerous toys.
There are even things to exacerbate the sensations! Can you imagine? They literally intensify everything: vaginal secretion, sensitivity in erogenous zones, brightness of orgasm😱
I also periodically replenish my collection😌
Keep in mind, guys, not every orgasm "blows the roof off" and serves as the ultimate sex goal.
Here comes that long-awaited moment of true enlightenment: the orgasm.
What, in fact, it was all about. After all, only a real man, a professional with years of experience and even the womanizer can bring the girl to orgasm. And what if he doesn't?
Let me tell you a secret, not every sex necessarily ends in orgasm, and orgasm, in turn, is not always "like in the movies". A female orgasm in general is quite unpredictable.
So the next time, instead of trying by hook or by crook, just close your eyes and enjoy the moment.
Who am I and why do you need me?
I constantly face the fact that many people don't understand who a sexologist is or why they need one at all.
Imagining that I'm sitting in my office, waving rubber dicks or massaging every other person's prostate😄
In fact, we're dealing with a huge layer of problems, why you "shouldn't" if your health is okay, why you don't want sex, how to restore your sex life after a betrayal or tragedy, techniques that help you feel better about each other and much, much more.
Lately, I've been getting a bunch of emails from people who aren't in a long-term relationship. They don't understand how to satisfy their needs in this case and whether it is necessary.
❓"And if you don't want to, is that normal? I only want my ex/girlfriend, what to do?" etc.❓
Guys, every question is worth separate attention and parsing. Sexology is part of medicine, and medicine never diagnoses based on just one single symptom.
We're all different, and problems need to be dealt with the same way.
The main thing to remember is not to fall for advice: "It worked for me...", consult a specialist. Otherwise you can mess up things like that. One of my acquaintances once advised a way to forget an ex is a sex marathon.
The result: positive HIV and a broken life.
A new day, a new pose!
It's a nice rule, isn't it?
✔How to perform?
Here is a simple but effective variation on the missionary pose. The girl lies on her back with her legs bent and the man puts his hands under her knees.
✔ What is the peculiarity?
The pose requires no acrobatic skills. Yet it brings a different sensation and takes the depth of penetration to a new level. And the "chaise longue" is simply designed for unhurried, thoughtful and long-lasting sex.
If anyone here likes to have sex with elements of BDSM?
In light of my clients' recent experiences, I recommend thinking ahead about how you will use your power. This is mostly for men, since a girl by nature can't get really hard (unless she's using foreign objects, of course😄)
So here's the first tip — be rhythmic.
If you're going to beat your beloved chaotically, play Tom and Jerry better. And here the blows should be rhythmic, then they evoke a pleasant trance. While the gradual build-up of force gives the body a warm-up.
Autumn, Autumn...
More and more often I notice that autumn is a challenging time for me at work. During this time both men and women tend to have libido problems.
What is the reason?
Biorhythms 🤷🏻♀️ As you know, the daylight hours gradually shorten in the fall, and the lack of sunlight leads to a lack of joy hormones. And where is there to hide from depression when its main enemy is hiding behind clouds and so early goes over the horizon? That is why we are all familiar with the term "autumnal moping". It also happens due to the constant change in temperature.
Our body is simply not able to readjust so quickly, so the change in heat exchange within us causes drowsiness and apathy. Can you imagine how many things happen through a simple change in the seasons?
So before you get offended with your partner for misunderstanding or decreased attention to you, think about it: maybe it is easier to figure it out together and somehow contribute to a warmer relationship in bed?
Don't get hung up on one "most vital" point
If you're going to wow your partner, so do everything with dignity and, most importantly, take your time! Neck, ears, shoulders, left breast, right breast, tummy and keep at it!
The longer you tease your partner by approaching her vagina, the more she will get aroused and have a lot of joy.
The "Grave" Technique
Sexy, slow and languid technique. It arouses, excites and brings truly magical sensations😉
Characteristic differences: tardiness, caution and complete focus on the senses. Everyone writes and compares the sensations to riding on a swing. When at the moment of approaching orgasm, you slow down, freeze and feel with every cell of your body.
As for me, this technique is something intimate and awe-inspiring. When there is visual contact, when you breathe and hear each other's breathing, and get high on the process.
Slow, tweaking movements, little stops in spades, visual contact, that's all there is to know. Try it and enjoy it!
Factors that can affect a girl's ability to have a multi-orgasm:
⚡ Biological predisposition. Yeah, some women are naturally gifted to easily achieve multi-orgasms. Others have to work on themselves and develop their sensuality.
⚡ Age. Women reach the peak of sexual sensuality at the age of 35. This means that multi-orgasms occur more often at this age.
⚡ Time spent on foreplay. The more smoothly, gradually and slowly you warm up, the longer the arousal phase will last.
⚡ The degree of arousal. When you are highly aroused, more blood rushes to your genitals and your erogenous zones become more sensitive.
⚡ Fatigue, stress. An exhausted body will simply refuse to produce orgasms.
You see? 70% in our hands! But even the remaining 30% are not hopeless, the main thing is the right approach😏
Greetings, sweethearts!
Here's what else I wanted to tell you 👉🏻 Trying to maintain a "perfect" libido can hurt self-esteem.
How? It's quite simple.
Since there is no such thing as a norm for libido, this means that high, low sexual desire or no sexual desire are equally normal!
You don't have to want 24/7, whether you're male or female. For some reason, I hear such a stereotype about men in particular.
People who worry about their level of desire not conforming to a mythical ideal get self-esteem and sex problems. Do you need it?
As I'm sure, many of us associate certain smells with sex.
By the way, that's also where the stereotype of scented candles comes from.
However, there is such a thing as olafactophilia — sexual arousal associated with smells, commonly identified with the smells of body secretions.
It does not mean such people like these smells; simply that they are the ones triggering certain hormonal mechanisms in their brains.
Nipple caresses...🔥 Is there a proper technique?
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There is no single advice on breast stimulation and techniques for this process that work for ALL without exception. We are all different!
But there are some good techniques you can try:
💥 Nipple between your fingers.
Cover breast with your hand so that the nipple is between your middle and index finger. Squeeze your fingers so that when you lift your hand, the nipple will also lift up and pull the whole breast up with it.
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💥 Lubricate breast and hand with massage oil.
Place a palm on the breast so that the fingertips are positioned around the circumference of the breast. Lift your hand and at the same time caress breast with your fingertips until they close on the tip of the nipple.