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The sickest, rudest, most offensive, inappropriate & politically incorrect jokes — we've got them all!
I must be getting old. I thought 'Instagram' was a term for a reliable drug dealer.
#other
How are millenials and tightrope walkers alike?
Compromise their net and they will literally die.
#other
Two Muslim Women were exchanging photos of their little Hero's. The first woman showed a photo and said, "This is Ahmed when he was 12. He would be 18 by now if he didn't die".
Second woman shows a photo of her son and says, "This was Mohamed at 8 years old, again he would be 19 Years old if he didn't die"
First Woman looked up and said, "They blow up so quickly these days".
#religion
My girlfriend’s parents are very religious.
The first time I was at their house, her dad told me we weren’t allowed to sleep together.
It was a bit of a shame – he was very attractive.
#sexandshit
In 2014, the gossip magazines were reporting Rihanna had broken up with Chris Brown after she caught him cheating with a waitress.
A source close to the couple says Rihanna knew something was up when Brown came home with another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
#celebrities
Save money on noise cancelling headphones.
Just tell people to shut the fuck up.
#other
I just used the vcuum clener on my keybord. Brillint.
#other
Isn't ot ironic that blacks are obsessed with getting whips and chains?
#racism
I just saw an Indian guy shaking a piece of carpet outside his door.
I said, "Whats up, Won't it start?"
#racism
My granddad said, "It's going to be horrendous on the roads this weekend, snow is forecast".
"Tell me something I don't know", I replied.
"I can get my whole fist up your Nanna's arse", he said.
#sexandshit
Did you know if you watch the holocaust backwards it's a story of magical bakers that turn ashes into people
#other
Not only will America come to your country and kill all your people. They will return 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people, made their soldiers feel sad.
#frankieboyle
You never see churches with free WiFi because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
#religion
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
#other
I got into an argument with a grammar Nazi on Facebook.
"To be fully appreciated, your last statement requires a coma," I commented.
"Ha, ha!" he said. "You mean comma!"
"I know what I mean."
#other
Did you hear about the shooting in a library?
I hope he used a silencer
#crime
I found a badly injured owl in our garden last night, so I tried to put it out of its misery...
Took me three fucking hours to wring its neck.
#other
I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night.
He told me to fuck off and buy my own.
#other
I got a blowjob last night.
Well, it was just a handjob, but she was deaf.
#sexandshit
If a girl gets changed in front of you, then she's either really interested, or thinks of you as just a friend.
Or hasn't yet spotted you in the tree.
#sexandshit
The wife asked me if i want to run upstairs and make mad passionate love with her. I said, "Sorry love. At my age I can't do both."
#sexandshit
I've spent past 5 years searching for my ex-wife's killer.
There must be someone out there that will do it
#crime
What is black and white and falls off the end of a pier?
A Nigger and a Seagull, fighting over a chicken wing
#racism
Spinach is like anal sex - if you were forced it as a child, you'll probably hate it as an adult.
#sexandshit
Whoever says "White men can`t jump"
Have never watched news coverage of 9/11
#other
#other@worldsicknews
I want to go down on you and make you really happy, then I want to come back up slowly and fuck you real good.
Yours sincerely, Petrol prices.
I hate people that dislike football but go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin it for everybody else!
Fucking referees.
#sports
I have just watched schindler's list for the first time. Let me say i went through a whole box of tissues watching that. I really will masturbate to anything
#sexandshit
My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath.
I suppose she has a point. I should have waited until she got out first.
#disgusting