The Onion

19 Dec 2022 15:45

Researchers No Closer To Understanding What The Fuck You’re Talking About https://bit.ly/3uLbHzi

The Onion

19 Dec 2022 14:30

Coworkers Agog As Employee Introduces New Shirt Into Rotation https://bit.ly/3VSR28q

The Onion

19 Dec 2022 04:00

https://www.theonion.com/who-the-hell-are-you-you-re-not-supposed-to-be-back-he-1848869348

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 05:30

The internet is expanding. Our minds are not. Join The Onion on TikTok. https://bit.ly/3j1SrLq

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 04:45

Restaurant Kitchen Must Have Incredible Diversity And Inclusion Program https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 03:15

Tech Leaders Justify Project To Create Army Of AI-Controlled Bulletproof Grizzly Bears As Inevitable Part Of Progress https://bit.ly/3hoscOQ

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 02:00

Teacher Fired For Breaking States Critical Race Theory Laws After Telling Students She's Black https://bit.ly/3Yifv8X

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 01:00

100% real clothes sourced directly from a natural commercial clothing manufacturer. https://bit.ly/3F7cm4i

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 23:30

New https://bit.ly/3jdqEnK Feature Warns Users When They Might Want To Stop Sticking Noses Where They Don't Belong https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 22:01

Bill Protecting Same-Sex Marriage Signed Into Law https://bit.ly/3j6u9QF #WhatDoYouThink?

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 20:30

Nation Forgives Harvey Weinstein After He Gets Really Good At Football https://bit.ly/3VZ3oMs

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 19:45

Avatar: The Way Of Water—the sequel to 2009’s Avatar, the highest-grossing film of all time—debuts in U.S. theaters on Thursday. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about Avatar: The Way Of Water. https://bit.ly/3FTxOtG

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 18:57

Senators React To Kyrsten Sinema Leaving Democratic Party https://bit.ly/3uKWf6n

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 18:15

When working in an office setting, it’s important to leave your genitals at the door. Here are the biggest reasons not to sleep with a coworker. https://bit.ly/3j5lgH3

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 17:00

Our Annual Year: Best Of February https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

19 Dec 2022 15:15

Embarrassed Woman Sneaks Out Of House Morning After Sex With Husband https://bit.ly/3Pt3eKW

The Onion

19 Dec 2022 04:30

Masochist Dog Enjoys Being Walked Around On Leash While Naked https://bit.ly/3Wbe0HI

The Onion

19 Dec 2022 03:30

Strange, Nightmarish Incident Results In Man Waking Up As Giant Kafka https://bit.ly/3hnPV1I

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 05:00

Signs You May Be Addicted To Sex https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 04:00

Outdated Sex Ed Curriculum Still Teaches How Boyfriend's Balls Could Explode If You Don't Give Him Hand Job https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 02:30

Piece Of Shit Baby Born On 2/22/2022 At 2:23 P.M. https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 01:45

Pope Quietly Moves God To Different Universe After Deity Caught Molesting Altar Boy https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

15 Dec 2022 00:15

Woman Shamelessly Sleeps Her Way Laterally Across Corporate Ladder https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 22:45

Archaeologists Discover More Old Shit That Sucks https://bit.ly/3uSa5UC

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 21:15

Johnson & Johnson Raises Price Of Band-Aids To $100,000 Apiece https://bit.ly/3Pw15hl

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 20:00

School Calendar Jumps To March 1 After Critical Race Theory Ban Prohibits Month Of February https://bit.ly/3BvH04U

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 19:00

This Week's Editorial Cartoon: "Good Fir Nothing" https://bit.ly/3hoaafJ

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 18:56

Senators React To Kyrsten Sinema Leaving Democratic Party https://bit.ly/3uKWf6n

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 17:30

Restaurant Puts Fun Little Santa Hat On Severed Head Of Animal That Screamed When It Died https://bit.ly/3FqmvId

The Onion

14 Dec 2022 16:45

Kansas Keystone Pipeline Leak Largest In Pipeline’s History https://bit.ly/3uRg1gu #WhatDoYouThink?