The Onion

13 Feb 2023 16:45

Couple Leaves Baby At Airport Check-In After Refusing To Buy Child Ticket https://bit.ly/3Z47DYn

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 14:30

Sight Of Coworkers' Stupid Fucking Faces Endured Yet Again https://bit.ly/3YDKhIE

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 04:19

Report: This Last Time Chiefs Super Bowl Victory Will Be Enjoyable https://bit.ly/3JYZAYt

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 04:17

Super Bowl Confetti Made Entirely From Shredded Concussion Studies https://bit.ly/3IgLh03

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 02:52

Chiefs Medical Staff Help Critically Hungry Andy Reid Into Meat-Smoking Tent
https://bit.ly/3IkTArR

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 02:30

Super Bowl Crowd Erupts In Applause As Rihanna Brings Out Richard Kind https://bit.ly/3E4u4V3

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 01:30

‘I’m Just Here For The Commercials,’ Jokes Man At Super Bowl Party Too Embarrassed To Admit He Desperate For Any Human Company https://bit.ly/3XhYcTF

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 01:00

Andy Reid Admits He Can Still Taste Last Super Bowl Victory In Mustache https://bit.ly/3DWyrRS

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 00:30

Kevin Burkhardt: ‘The Men, They Begin Their Brutal Clash, And We––We Cheer Their Broken Bodies’ https://bit.ly/3XheI6x

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 00:15

Shy Andy Reid Asks Eagles If They Remember Him https://bit.ly/3ltAd6M

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 23:30

Panicked Referee Trying To Retrieve Super Bowl Coin From Vending Machine Before Opening Toss https://bit.ly/3YG7l9U

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 22:00

Kelce Brothers Beg NFL To Let Them Play On Same Team For Super Bowl https://bit.ly/3XvC4VP

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 21:00

Inexperienced Puppy Bowl Team Still Hasn’t Opened Eyes Yet https://bit.ly/3I9FKIu

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 20:25

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The Onion

12 Feb 2023 19:30

‘The NFL Is Deeply Concerned About Domestic Violence,’ Thinks Local Moron https://bit.ly/3Id5dRx

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 16:00

Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It https://bit.ly/3xdmgwp

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 04:20

Nick Sirianni Shows Why Andy Reid Was Right To Drop His Ass As Chiefs Wide Receivers Coach In 2012 https://bit.ly/3XkPe8g

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 04:18

Chiefs Second Super Bowl Win Proves Anything Possible If You Don’t Trade Up To Draft Mitch Trubisky https://bit.ly/3XniKdr

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 04:15

Donna Kelce Just Glad Her Better Son Won https://bit.ly/3E4LUXU

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 02:34

Rihanna will headline the show after previously turning down the NFL in protest of the league’s contributions to systemic injustice. https://bit.ly/3RVU7Uj

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 02:17

Decrepit Tom Brady Wheeled Out To Enjoy Super Bowl Halftime Show https://bit.ly/3HOcKVe

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 01:15

Andy Reid Carefully Consults Plastic Bib With Chiefs Offensive Plays https://bit.ly/3YoxdHx

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 00:45

Report: 84% Of Super Bowl Ads Specifically Intended To Distract From Human Rights Violation https://bit.ly/3YqjCPX

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 00:28

Controversial Puppy Bowl Star Shits During National Anthem https://bit.ly/3xB0WkR

The Onion

13 Feb 2023 00:00

Roger Goodell Just Hoping For Competitive Game Where No One Dies On Field, Mentions League’s Record On Race, Brings Up CTE, Highlights Discriminatory Hiring Practices, Or Says ‘Deshaun Watson’ https://bit.ly/3K303Ja

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 22:30

https://bit.ly/3YFFZjW

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 21:30

Puppy Bowl Competitors Hide Under Couch During Terrifying Halftime Fireworks Display https://bit.ly/3YzvjE9

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 20:30

Increased Security Requirements For Super Bowl Mandate All Fan Clothes Be Made From Transparent Plastic https://bit.ly/3YnsCFg

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 20:00

“Sport is a sociocultural placeholder for the tribalistic catharsis that globalization has taken from us.” https://bit.ly/3YDiQyG

The Onion

12 Feb 2023 19:00

“Tyreek Hill is innocent.” https://bit.ly/3jPAQHr