The Onion

21 Feb 2023 17:30

God Admits He’s A Little Flattered When Someone Kills In His Name https://bit.ly/3xHc7bv

The Onion

21 Feb 2023 16:45

Man Never Thought He’d Become One Of Those Bug-Laid-Eggs-In-His-Ear Kind Of Guys https://bit.ly/3kiwGYM

The Onion

21 Feb 2023 14:30

Study: Average Person’s Life Plan Can Only Withstand 25 Seconds Of Direct Questioning https://bit.ly/3Yz0U8I

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 05:30

https://bit.ly/3KiaqJ0

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 04:00

https://www.theonion.com/things-to-never-say-to-a-strip-club-performer-1850100532?utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1676775602&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 02:30

‘It’s Been A Long Time Since I’ve Done This So I Need To Take It Slow,’ Says Woman On Date Attempting To Smile https://bit.ly/3YBHi3U

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 01:30

Sobriety Completely Changes Way Man Gains Weight https://bit.ly/3I3KNJf

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 23:30

Purity Ring Powerless Against Cody https://bit.ly/3lFbg8v

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 22:00

https://www.theonion.com/biggest-reasons-not-to-sleep-with-a-coworker-1849884622?utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1676754007&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 20:30

Man Proposes To Girlfriend With Heirloom Ring Once Worn By Divorced Sister In 2013 https://bit.ly/3K8SOiR

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 20:00

https://bit.ly/3YWWZlX

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 18:30

Parents Forced To Explain Thrill Of Having Sex In Public After Daughter Sees Monkeys Mating At Zoo https://bit.ly/3YTDL0G

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 17:40

Societal Pressure To Conform Doing Nothing But Favors For Area Man https://bit.ly/3EcGLNN

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 16:30

BREAKING: This Is A Reminder That Your Appointment To Read ‘The Onion’ Is Scheduled For Today https://bit.ly/3XvMl4w

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 05:00

https://www.theonion.com/biggest-misconceptions-people-have-about-polyamory-1849967800?utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1676692804&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter

The Onion

21 Feb 2023 17:00

Politicians Explain Why TikTok Should Be Banned https://bit.ly/3KnNEj7

The Onion

21 Feb 2023 16:00

Coworkers Nationwide Embrace Tearfully After Painful 3-Day Separation https://bit.ly/3E9lzrO

The Onion

21 Feb 2023 04:30

Woman Who Drinks 6 Cups Of Coffee Per Day Trying To Cut Down On Blue Light At Bedtime https://bit.ly/3XwFCaF

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 04:30

Woman Still Holding Onto Hope That Toxic Friendship Could Blossom Into A Toxic Relationship https://bit.ly/3S7bFg5

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 03:30

Entirety Of Objectionable Human Behavior Explained To Toddler As Person Acting Silly https://bit.ly/3Ir9NdV

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 02:00

https://bit.ly/3xrsU23

The Onion

19 Feb 2023 00:30

Woman Feeling Doubly Conflicted About Attending ‘Harry Potter’-Themed Plantation Wedding https://bit.ly/3YzALXj

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 22:30

Sick Man Slowly Becoming Enthroned In Used Tissues https://bit.ly/3URSdEg

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 21:30

Stingray Loves When Aquarium Visitors Squeal And Recoil After Touching It https://bit.ly/3jVZl5W

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 20:25

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The Onion

18 Feb 2023 19:30

Disappointed Baby Takes Plastic Bag Off Head After Reading ‘Warning: Not A Children’s Toy’ https://bit.ly/3EcLsXM

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 18:00

CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month https://bit.ly/3XwVQAl

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 17:13

http://bit.ly/3S5Lh6r

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 05:30

The Onion: Now on another part of your phone. Follow us on TikTok. https://bit.ly/3EeTteE

The Onion

18 Feb 2023 04:45

Botched Autopsy Brings Murder Victim Back To Life https://bit.ly/3Ip9jGi