The Onion

10 Mar 2023 14:30

Strange, Nightmarish Incident Results In Man Waking Up As Giant Kafka https://bit.ly/3SSDadP

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 04:45

Still Too Early To Tell If Pulling Chain Turned Overhead Fan Off https://bit.ly/3T2ViS9

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 03:15

Allowance To Teach Child Importance Of Parental Dependence https://bit.ly/3IWGz6L

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 02:00

Hospitals will snap a photo of your group at the moment the baby crowns, then trying to soak you for $30 for one cheap glossy printout. https://bit.ly/3ZX16yL

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 01:00

You work hard for your money. Now, hand it over. https://bit.ly/3ZPtD9q

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 23:30

Climate Scientists Announce Earth Doing Pretty Good Today So You Can Take Afternoon Off And Have Fun https://bit.ly/3JCeWlb

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 22:45

Dog Annoyed Vet Weighing Her With Jacket And Boots Still On https://bit.ly/3Lbyhul

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 21:45

Report: 50% Of Heaven’s Population Just Assholes Who Begged For Forgiveness At Last Second https://bit.ly/3mHytri

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 20:30

The Onion looks at the pros and cons of banning books. https://bit.ly/3JrywjP

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 19:45

The Growing Scourge Of AI? Someone Wrote An Ethnic Slur On A Roomba https://bit.ly/3ZR6fIP

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 18:15

As if giving birth wasn’t traumatizing enough, just wait until you see the hospital bill. According to doctors, patients, and debt collectors alike, these are the biggest hidden costs of giving birth in America. https://bit.ly/3l34OrS

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 16:45

Toblerone Drops Iconic Design Due To Rules On ‘Swissness’ https://bit.ly/3mCQy9N #WhatDoYouThink?

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 14:30

Area Man Outraged His Private Information Being Collected By Someone Other Than Advertisers https://bit.ly/3mBGG0c

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 04:00

Study Reveals That Girls Who Play Princess Grow Up With Skewed Perceptions Of The Role Of Modern Monarchy In A Democratic Society https://bit.ly/3JlSgoW

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 03:15

Woman On Third Level Of Purgatory Tired Of Being Passed Over For Advancement By Less Penitent Men https://bit.ly/3mAGP3G

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 05:00

https://www.theonion.com/11-surefire-signs-1843020718?utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1678420803&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 04:00

Area Dad Looking To Get Average Phone Call With Adult Son Down To 47.5 Seconds https://bit.ly/3F3MzJN

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 02:30

Overworked Pajama Bottoms Pray Owner Gets Job Soon https://bit.ly/3ZuqvjN

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 01:45

Woman Who Changed Self To Please Boyfriend Enjoying Happy Long-Term Relationship https://bit.ly/3ZMnCdH

The Onion

10 Mar 2023 00:15

Arkansas Gov. Huckabee Sanders Signs Law Rolling Back Child Labor Protections https://bit.ly/3ZrPS5H #WhatDoYouThink?

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 23:00

Men Under 30 Explain Why They’re Not Having Sex https://bit.ly/3Yx4IGJ

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 22:00

Grim Reaper Slows Pace On Sidewalk So As Not To Freak Out Woman Walking Ahead Of Him https://bit.ly/3ZP3pUw

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 21:15

Bored Census Bureau Employee Changes Every Ohio Resident’s Name to Laura https://bit.ly/3T4TxDX

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 20:00

https://bit.ly/3NSNeAi

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 19:00

Ron DeSantis Oversees Program Offering Florida Students Free Force-Fed Meals
https://bit.ly/3yqPLLK

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 17:30

Ski Resort Increases Black Diamond Difficulty By Placing Snipers Along Trail https://bit.ly/3ZUETla

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 16:00

Study Finds Most Effective Method Of Overcoming Procrastination Having Overseer Beat You Whenever You Stop Working https://bit.ly/3ZRbeJD

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 04:45

Man Wonders If Speeding Ticket Just Karma For Going 120 MPH https://bit.ly/3ZQMK3f

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 03:35

Congress Approves 19th Amendment (June 4, 1919): Men in Congress pass the women’s suffrage amendment after totally coming up with the whole idea on their own. http://bit.ly/3Facob3

The Onion

09 Mar 2023 03:00

"After logging onto YouTube and absentmindedly scrolling through a series of recommended videos made by prominent influencers, vloggers, and podcast hosts, I, Malala Yousafzai, formally renounce my affiliation with the feminist ideology." https://bit.ly/3T0zwyq