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Vent Here is the place for you to vent off anything you have on your mind, get help and give out help to those who vent. Anonymously. Vent using @vent_here_bot For any inquiries and ads, contact 🦄 @MoiPlus "We rise by lifting others"
Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey I just wanna talk about something I hear a lot of people killing them self ( suicide) specially people in there 20's and I was always saying are they fool or something I will never do such a thing ... Hhh now I really understood them why they did it ...now all I wanna do is die but guess what I can't even do that bc am scared to do it and also I have a mother who sacrifice everything for me all I wanna do is making it for her give her the life she deserve but I can't.... I start trading 2 years ago to change my mom's life but guess what life get worse I lost everything I have I don't got no job am not learning shit am just existing all I think of is my mom will be better without me...but ik am fooling my self the reason I wanna kill my self is bc I can't just seat and watch her suffer am a loser I deserve to be in hell and burning rest of my life .... All I want to ask u guys is if u r on ur lowest like me what's making u keep living? What should I do to stop thinking this just give me ur opinion the honest one even if u think I should end it ... tnx
#MentalIllness #Family
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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18M
Hey folks! How y'all doin'? I want genuine advice on something.
I'm a high school senior. So, uhh... I do well in school, I have a bunch of hobbies, and I'm introverted but with an interesting personality (according to people). Everyone around me thinks of me like this perfect nigga I'm not because of all this. I know many of you probably go through this. This puts so much pressure on me, and lately, I've been really worried about my future. The problem is that if I don't really, genuinely, absolutely like something, I can't quite force myself to do it. Well, yeah, basically I'm immature. I can't fucking control myself. And for this, I envy the people that envy me. Quite crazy, I know, but the people I get a chance to become acquainted with usually have way more control over their minds than me.
The question I have for you guys is: how do you develop this drive in you that keeps you awake at nights, that reminds you to keep going when your brain wants to stop, and that says NO to things that you know are bad for you?
Thanks 🙏
#Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I recently deconstructed Christianity after being born and raised in a Pente household, and I haven’t been the same since. For the first time, I feel mentally free from constantly fearing hell, worrying about offending God, feeling responsible for “lost souls,” and being told as a woman that I must submit to a man. I can finally enjoy simple things that were once considered sinful, like listening to secular music and making my own choices.
But nobody around me knows. I’m still “undercover.” Since I recently graduated and am unemployed, I still live with my deeply religious family, and I know I can never openly tell them the truth. I don’t want them terrified that I’m going to hell, especially because I know how painful that fear feels. I also fear they may reject me completely if they find out, i'm not a person who says i can sacrifice anything for my freedom i'll be absolutely crushed if my family would reject me because i love them dearly and they're all i got.
Lately, i'm feeling trapped because I have nobody to talk to. My mom already noticed I stopped going to church and told me, “You haven’t been the same since you came back from university.” As long as I live under their roof, I feel like I can’t truly live freely. Bezalay , I live in the kiflehager. I would really love to hear stories from others who are in this exact same situation. I wish there was a support system where we could encourage one another, because I can't handle this isolation anymore.😭😭😭
#Family
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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So, am 20 yrs old, Who never been on a single date. This is soo cringe to even admit lmao. Anyways leading my little loser's life. I saw this adorable fresh lady. I was in awe "what a cutty!" But i thought i am no fool, she is obviously out of my league. Still i was really intimidated by her coolness. She was the coolest in the campus, she was the coolest fresh i've ever seen ngl.
At this point i wasn't really sure if i wants to be her, or to be inside her. The notion of love have always been confusing to me. Anyways days passed, weeks... thinking of her bigonial width, plato's perfection and my amedamnet. Theorizing, analysing and paralysing. Months just gone by.
I doubt my schizophrenia started then. My brain start to see patterns.like The spots she sits in, the eye contacts, it feels like we shared lots of stuffs. I love the idea and my deluded brain kept feeding me all the signs, made me forget how i dont have any striking features made me forgot how uncool my style is, ... a deluded mind is the worst thing anyone could have.
Finally, I decide to approach. It was hard tbh i had enough amount of social anxiety to through myself under a bus for a minor embarrasment.
But my brain kept telling me "you can do it bruh, she is introvert. She already is interested just little push" only fools follow that voice. And yeah am 'a great fool'
I did. The good thing was she was incredibly polite, the bad thing was i've got no rizz. Ofcourse i already rehearsed what to say how to say... stuff but right there completely lost it. Just stuck there in 2G. She actually tried to keep the conversation alive (what a lovely dear) but yeah if you are a loser you are a loser no matter what. I knew i fucked up right there, not so sure tho if she just lost interest right then or she wasnt interested in first place at all (which proves i am delusional). Next time i tried to approach she just ignored me. The most humiliating moment of my life.
The worst part of being rejected by the coolest person in universe is that it proves how uncool you are. Ngl it mess with my self image for weeks.
I hate when ppl say "the worst she can say is no" its so deductive. You don't know the ups and downs of that "no". unless you are playing. So shut the fuck up
Stay safe, don't be delulu loser like me and
Thanks for reading.
#Agitation
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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28M
Nobody ever saw me crying or dawn i just kept living but deep down me i butchered myself i don't feel anything i don't live for myself i live in grief, I knew my dad had HIV when i was 21 but after that i kept it for myself i nvr told for anyone there were times i wanted to confess him but i couldn't. i blame myself for not telling my mom and sis abt it, i was scared what to say to them and our family would probably collapse and end up in the streets.I'm not even sure my mom also kept it from us coz there were signs that she restricted us from doing stg. I've tested multiple times and I'm free idk in what way i should get a test for my sis i don't know in what way i should confess him. I blame myself for everything i always tried to be there for my sis she's my everything she's old enough but I'm not sure if she can handle it.
Help me out what shall i do, i want them to know the truth it's eating me alive.
#Family #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey guys, I saw a computer science or sth GC student asking if his 2.3 GPA is hopeless and I was wondering, I'm a pharmacy student same year and almost same GPA. It feels hopeless. So if anyone out here works along this field, does grades matter in the work industry?
#School
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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So i have a friend and he meet a lot of people because of work. He sometimes come across horney girls. Some of them are married and still want to cheat. Once one of them called him while i was with him and she was badmouthing her husband who lives in Europe. Mind you, he's working hard to take her to Europe but she is trying to have sex with my friend. Sometimes he check his customers phone and he discovers their nudes mnamn. One of them was old lady in her 50's. She was trying to trigger him, telling him its normal to have sex at his age mnamn then he checked her phone and it was full of her nude videos! At that age!? another girl slept with him at, the next day she was posting religious stuff! imagine there's a dude out there preying 'make this religious girl mine!' while she's bangging my friend the day before... I can tell you many similar stories... He always tells me not to trust any women,i used to think he was just exaggerating but now waves after waves of similar stories have destroyed the trust i have in romantic relation. And its not just stories i hear from others, i have also witnessed the same thing in my life. I have seen the most innocent looking girls doing crazy things. I don't know who to believe anymore. I was either too innocent or too dumb not to realize this sooner. I have passed on many sex opportunities because it didn't feel right to have sex before marriage. Who is even a virgin at this time? even girls think its weird for a man to stay virgin until marriage. I used to think this world was better than this. The funny thing is that i have seen girls leaving a man because he don't ask them to have sex, others leave their man because he ask for sex. As a man we have to risk it and say what we want and the girls just sit there to either accept what we say or to treat us like shit for what we ask. We are all asmesay sewoch.
#Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I have this weird realization that made me write this vent. I am a university student (male), and I have friends. I am the one who does everything they ask and asks nothing in return, and you know I should get at least some appreciation for the things I did for them, right? But nah, I was the one who gets left behind every time they go out. They will say, "Ohh, we forgot you," like my existence doesn't even cross their mind. They just take me for granted, coming to me only when they need me the most. I am some sort of a machine for them, I think.
I just wanna share something for the people that vent about life being harsh on them, even if they are always doing the right thing and being good overall. They cry about how the world is unfair because of that... Duh, bro, what did you expect? Did you expect that your goodness will get rewarded with a medal? This world is the one who crucified Jesus, bruh. I am not comparing our goodness to him, but even His uncountable love and goodness didn't get a bit of appreciation. What are you then, that expect things that even our God didn't get?
So I'm not saying that you should stop being good. Do good while knowing that you will get nothing in return. Do it while knowing that your goodness will not only never be appreciated but your goodness will also be seen as bad. Be good while knowing that and recognizing that. Don't expect that's how you will stop yourself from disappointment.
#Friendship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
I am Yon_Cipher 🔐
I need to vent
Hey guys a young man born into a cycle of generational poverty. I carry the heavy legacy of my father—a soldier whose life of sacrifice left behind only financial struggle and a blueprint for survival rather than prosperity. Unlike other children, I never truly had a childhood; I never played or lived without worry because I was suppressed by the harsh realities of our life from a very young age.
Today, I find myself paralyzed by the constant anxiety that my lack of money makes me unworthy of a meaningful relationship or a stable social life. I view my empty hands as a barrier to the love and connection I deeply crave. Because my entire existence has been a relentless battle against scarcity, I have lost the ability to recognize what truly brings me joy. I am in a state of profound existential confusion, staring into a future where my ultimate target and purpose remain obscured by a suffocating fog. I am a soldier in my own right, fighting a daily war for survival, but I am tired of just surviving—I want to find my way.
I am looking for your advice: How do I find my purpose and happiness when I’ve spent my whole life just trying to get by?
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Have I been played?
So I was chilled, in my own space, wrestling against my desires and winning everyday. I wanted a man who would dote on me, a man who would heal something he didn't break within me, a man who would love me undeniably. And I wasn't even sure that I'd find it all in one man. And I was tired of trying to make things happen. I was desperate but not desperate enough to throw myself around and onto men. Afterall, I worked so hard on discipline to be able to save myself for the right person.
And then he came along. To say that he was a troubled man would be the understatement of the year. He was unstable, shaky, traumatised and everything I didn't want to get entangled with. But then I got to see him. Or so I thought. He is one of those people who are genuine to the bone. No matter how messy he was, he was himself. And that is rare. And I fell for that.
We fell in love. Or so I thought. And boy it was something else. He never took me to fancy restaurants or bought me expensive gifts. But he looked at me like I was his reason. He let me listen to his heartbeat. He hugged my worries away. He kissed me like his life depended on it. He blushed whenever I complimented him like I was someone he really adored. And that was rare. And I fell for it.
Now he seems distant. He says he is dealing with a lot and that is true. He says he isn't good enough for me and it is true. But the way he once was fully in and now so uncertain makes me question everything. Was this another well played push-pull game or was it really love?
#Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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27 M.
At what age should financial stability come before chasing our dream job? Is it okay to be broke for some unknown time but build something of my own or should I just continue doing what I'm doing, making a little extra from the expenses? Im living alone, no gf, my family doesn't expect from me but I feel very deeply abt not giving them the life they deserve
#Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Lately I feel like I lost almost everything inside me. Motivation, hope, energy… all gone. Every situation around me feels chaotic and heavy.
But somehow I still keep moving. I still survive the days, still achieve things even when my mind feels exhausted.
I think the hardest battle is continuing without feeling alive inside.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m healing or just getting used to pain.
And honestly… I could really use genuine friends too. Especially girls who understand emotions and know how to have real conversations without judging. Even just someone to talk to sometimes.
#Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey there, I just want to confess something. I had a girlfriend for the past five years. She’s a 3rd-year university student, and I’ve already graduated. I have a great job, financially stable, and in good shape.
For the past 6 months, I was struggling with work and family issues. During that time, she started giving her attention to another university student. They spent time together, vibed together, and had sex. Then I found out and confronted her, and she confessed the truth.
Her family knows about me and they love me as their own child. We are still talking because she's begging me not to leave her (i know she said sorry because she felt guilt) and she promised not do it again. The problem is she's on final and i can't say i'm done with you because the semester grade will be destroyed. Her family expect a good thing from her and i don't wanna break their heart. So guys give me a mature advice should i have to wait until she finish her exam or distroy everything.
#Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I’m a thinker 24/7 about bdsm and mistress thing I’m just 23 yo M but it control my mind I don’t try it because of a budget and lost a cool girl. What can I do 😭
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I’m a uni student and I try my best to be independent. I don’t ask my parent for support because I know things are already hard at home. My mom carries most of the responsibility becuz of father's narcissistic behavior and I can see how stressed she gets sometimes so I always try to help her when she needs it.
The issue is,I also try to keep something aside for myself so I can manage my stuffs during the month. But whenever I see my mom struggling I end up giving it away.Then, I'll left with nothing for myself, and I just feel drained in the same cycle every time.
I haven’t really shared this with my friend because I feel like she won't fully understand it.
Rn I just feel mentally tired and confused about how to survive for the month without being stressed
I’d really like to hear how others would handle something like this.
#Family
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I started to write but my mind had a hard time to choose.
When I thought I was finally over my anger issue , it happened so suddenly and I ended up eating my words of change. Now I can't pray because I am still mad, and I tried to forgive but I knew it wasn't genuine so I stopped praying all together.
So pray for me.
#MentalIllness #Melancholy #Agitation
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Yoooo it's ya boi but fr tho I really need advice from hoes from both genders, no offense of course. Look I tried relationships before and they didn't work out so I decided to focus on myself. So boom your boi landed an impressive promotion glory be to the Father.
Then I upgraded my gym location and got into this fancy gym. Lot of ppl tho and three girls where I work out asked me to work out together since the coaches need to be paid
so I let them work out with me, and we got along. Day by day passed, and I got closer with one of those girls. We started going out together. On the second date since this girl talks too much, I thought arsenal lay abragn endetkuater yezat wetaw, and it almost worked until it didn't. Then tnsh kemamesen ena she kissed your boi, and we went and did belgena ngr👌👈
Look since I knew they're gonna cook me if I didn't perform, I gave it all mine Your boi was up bouncing on that till kelelitu 9 seat Then days later, mekret jemerech ena we started working out with her friends. I didn't even say anything flirty but they turned out pretty friendly and flirty and started talking online with her friend for like a week and got close and cracked her friend too. Like bro I never got this lucky before and I started to realize they've done turned me into a hoe😭. Bruh like If my calculations right nahh I can't be used like this. I already know the third girl gonna crack me up to... Oh no TF you won't😭. I can't be for the streets i swear All I wanted was to improve myself.
Don't get me wrong shits nice and all, but I can't be the ball that they pass around. And the first girl sent me a text saying "I love you" i mean come on😭 how can you be in love with your coach that you only know for 2 weeks!!! it's gonna be a matter of time till things get sticky and it's my first time is this the time that I should start ghosting or what😭 I need an experienced hoe advice😭
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hello everyone, I need to vent something. Back in 2014, I graduated in Computer Science and could not find any job at that time. I had to make a difficult decision because my family has had financial problems since childhood, and that led me to join the Federal Police. After finishing training, I became a System Admin/Developer, but the problem is I kind of hate it there. My co-workers behave differently, even some of them who are university graduates like me, and even though I was born in Addis. I was accepting it at first, but now I have become depressed and have been on antidepressants for a year, and I am still working like a zombie day to day. I can't leave because they will not give me my experience certificate. I just can't hold on anymore, and I can't leave because I need the money for my mother.can you give me some advice
#MentalIllness
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey, I’m a 27-year-old guy, and in all these years I’ve never had any relationship experience. I spent most of my early years focused on academics and building my career. Now I have a decent career working as a seafarer, but honestly, that’s also made it harder to meet potential partners since I’m away for long periods of time.
My question is how are you guys meeting people and dating, especially after leaving campus and when you don’t have female colleagues at work?
And for the girls here, would you see yourself being with someone who’s away for almost half the year ?
#Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey Everybody, this vent is for the people that deals with Masturbation and I think it’s going to be long so bear with it but I was 18 and LOST I was a literal porn addict for 13 years. 13 years!! My childhood was full of lust that I didn’t even know from where it appeared. I was just struggling with it day and night everyday and the guilt was insane. Everyday it was a struggle I felt dirty and out of it I was depressed and couldn’t get up from bed or think straight it crippled me and felt like I was chained to something. U can imagine what it feels like being an addict and this kind of of addict plays on your mind. I have tried so much going to church, crying to God and at some point in my life, I stopped masturbating for one week and I was so happy but it came back again. It was a fight I couldn’t win no matter how much I have tried, it was part of my routine that I couldn’t change UNTIL GOD showed up on his own time you guys…he saved me in a way I didn’t even know was possible. He showed up. He saved me after 13 years of struggling by his GRACE! I’m 22 now and it’s not a fight anymore. The desire is not even there anymore can u believe that? What can I say except GOD IS GOOD! So I wanted to say this here because what better place to talk about this. When u are a porn addict, it kind of feels embarrassing to go out in public and say that u are or were a porn addict right and there is no better place I will find that are struggling with addictions more than this place and what I want to say is be patient with yourself, be patient with God, be patient with your situation. No matter what kind of addiction you are in and you are struggling to stop it, believe me GOD WILL SHOW UP FOR YOU! Nothing is hard for him. Don’t try to fight it by yourself, don’t hate yourself or your body just give your heart to God he will fight it for you and for sure he will make u win and make u a new person that u wouldn’t even remember the old u. I swear I am a proof of that he came and saved me le Qidus Qurban erasu abqetogn teqebelku hiwoten barekelegn astesaseben barekelegn now it is me and Him EGZABHEAR YEMESGEN this is my testimony and I’m sure it will not end with me. A lot of you all who wants to be saved WILL BE saved by his GRACE! I have been meaning to share this testimony of mine for a while now but I kept stalling it and it just wouldn’t let me rest because I know my testimony would help someone from here. Maybe someone is asking GOD for a sign, if he is there, if he is listening to you, if he will heal you let this be YOUR SIGN that HE WILL and he is by your side right now your life is not over, he is by your side, you don’t have to fight it, he will fight for you be STILL and know that he is GOD and pray and call his name. I’m sure this testimony will help someone and who knows that someone might be YOU🫵🏽even if this message helps just 1 person it’s enough for me…Have a Great Journey and may GOD show you his GRACE and MERCY! I Rebuke any negative energy in JESUS CHRIST NAME AMEN! Ye Dengel Maryam Lej kenante gar yehun anybody who wants to talk I’m here you’re not alone in this. I am a Female 22 and addictions attack both Men and Women so we got this everybody bye Oh and there people that will say “Masturbation is normal” no it is not if it was I wouldn’t have felt like that when I was doing it, I would have been happy and I didn’t even grow up in Church, I just knew it was wrong. So don’t believe anybody who tells u it is normal mnamn Just get on your journey with God and May God be with you. Amen Amen🙏🏽
#Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
I am 🎭 alwaysstriveandprosper
I need to vent
I am 19M, My parents want me d3ad
Not once, not twice, but four different times my parents told me they wished I had died instead of my sister. It feels like if they had to choose between me and her, they would choose me to die a million times without hesitation.And honestly, I know I’m far from perfect. I know I’ve messed up a lot in life, and she was genuinely the sweetest person in our family. But damn… I never thought I would hear something like that from my own parents. Deep down, I already felt like she should’ve stayed instead of me. But I never imagined my parents felt the same way too. And then I started thinking… if my own parents feel this way, what about everyone else? Her friends, relatives, other people… do they all think the same thing? What eats me alive the most is knowing I’ll probably carry this for the rest of my life. I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried ODing from opioids(klona, trams specifically and DMX) two different times, but it didn’t work. I ended up waking up after having severe seizure. Now I’m just miserable. My life feels miserable. Instead of grieving only the death of my sister, I’m grieving the fact that my parents would rather it had been me. I’m not a good son. I’ve been a bad kid. But I seriously don’t know how much more of this I can take. At the same time, what am I even supposed to do?
#Family
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I’m a 4th year Software Engineering student. I thought I would gradually start to like it, but I didn’t. I don’t really want to become a developer I’m mainly continuing for the sake of getting my degree yaw for my family malet new believe me makuaret alchlm neber. Do you think I could still find a job with a software degree, at least temporarily, while I figure out what I actually want to do or possibly apply for a scholarship?
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I am 26 M Ere wegen dingel😭 honen keren esti mela belugn😂😂
#Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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22 M ...So apparently I’ve unlocked a new role in uni life… “accidental heartbreaker” 💀
I don’t even know most of these girls like that, I just get random messages now and then normal uni stuff.
But this one… this one is built different 😭
She’s going full drama mode saying if I don’t talk to her or even just say “hey” she’s gonna hurt herself 💀💀
Bro I haven’t even had a proper conversation with her. I think our entire relationship history is basically just “existing in the same campus radius” 😭
Like what am I supposed to do now,clock in every morning like
“Good morning, here is your legally required ‘hey’. Please continue functioning emotionally.” 💀
At this point I’m scared to even breathe in the direction of uni girls… next thing I know I’ll be engaged, married, and paying rent in someone’s imagination because I smiled once in a corridor 😭
#Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I'm about to kill myself, can you stop me
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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Hey guys, I'm a sec year student in college. I met this girl online and we texted for three days and she's fresh . The first time we met the conversation was awkward, then the second time we met, it was great. One day I asked her out to a club and she told me she wasn't going to be in the club and I told her to just think about it. Then she agreed to go out at first, but when we got to the club, she said she hadn't been drinking. I asked her to dance and she said no. When I came back from the bathroom, she was dancing with other guys. She gave her Instagram account to someone else. What should I do?
#School #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Selam ye unity temari negn 2017 fresh man acc temari nbrku keza gena fetna saljmer befit menamn class mehd akomuku enate ena abate ande ley aynorum gn abate ezaw egna akebabi nw yalew enate bet tnsh yechgrat nbr lewt mameta meslogn adar reception sera jemrku Ken demo class keza gn yebas belo classun akomkut enate ga awertn abate sayak keza jetty lease yehone ngr yze classen lektl ytmert bet esu bihonem mikflew lela ngr yechgregnal gn endasbkut alnberm birrm alyaskum serawnm akomuk kesrawm ketmertum salhone bezi amet degame computer science class jemrku fresh man 1 amet akatelku abate 2nd year endhonku nw miyakew keza arif eytmarku nbr programming class PC amtu kalametachu atgebum ale bet heje hunetawn kemasredat classun megbat akomku bemjmeriya first semester ley mnm class algebam nbr class West mannenm slemalgbaba eyferaw ekr nbr mehdem yastelagn nbr first semester endale malet yechalal F ametaw keza beka add argalew eyalku second ley yePC ngr teftere keza bet PC gezulegn elalew beye eyasbku selke tefa yebas belo keza tg groupm slanebregn lelawnm class mhed akomku keza ahun semonun selk tegzalegn agotem PC yene tetkemi ena temlshalesh align keza kesnt gize behwala class sehd demo megaton feraw beza ley already class liyalek nw ahun mn endeared alakem mid abzagnawn teftnewal group work asgebtewal beta feraw chnkegn defame lela amet likatel nw abate eko eytmarch nw belo yasbal chltgnente betam godagn beka beta technku yeunity temari or becha mn mareg endalebgn benatachu mefthe setugn
#School #Family #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
I am 🎭 Bird
I need to vent
Hey
So I'm 16 and I recently started taking antidepressants and idk how to feel .
Before the anti depressants my brain just wouldn't stop thinking and I was so painfully self aware which then led me to OD and then my parents found out and took me to a therapist blah blah blah...
Gn the first weeks of me taking the pills I felt nothing it was like there was a blanket over my thoughts but fast forward to now I still feel something uncomfortable inside me , idk how to explain it or even understand it to be honest . But now I am in this weird state of melancholy where idk why I am sad but ik I am and I don't have any interest in what's happening around me like the everyday small talks we all indulge ourselves in for whatever reason but then when I listen to those feelings and stop doing everything I somehow feel left out , and now I just don't wanna be alive anymore but I can't even tell the people I am close to that because I have already hurt them the last time but if I try anything I want it to be successful so that the guilt of it not working won't eat me alive
#MentalIllness #Melancholy #Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
i am 24M 1 For the past few years, my mind has never truly been at rest. It keeps asking questions endlessly, especially late at night. To escape that constant noise, I started going to bed early, hoping sleep would quiet the thoughts.
2 I also trained myself to stay away from relationships. I kept telling myself that love wasn't worth it, that it would only distract me from my goals and leave me broken. Eventually, I reduced every relationship to the same cynical conclusion: every girl is just water from the same sea, and I'm sorry for all the hearts I broke.
3 For a long time, my purpose was clear. I was focused on earning my degree, passing the exit exam, and maintaining a strong CGPA. I achieved those goals. On paper, I should feel proud. Instead, I feel like I lost something important along the way. Without a goal to chase, my idle mind has become toxic.
4 Things that once gave me energy now feel like burdens. Managing my family's businesses, spending time with friends, and even simple daily activities feel like obligations rather than sources of satisfaction.
5 Most days, I stay in bed. I read, watch movies, football, and anime, but none of it gives me enough motivation to get up and do something as basic as making breakfast.
6 I've also withdrawn from almost everyone. My phone is off I've ghosted my friends, and I don't even use social media entirely no Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, or anything. Somewhere along the way, I began to feel that every person comes with invisible strings attached.
7 My faith in God has weakened too. Seeing what happens to people, combined with reading philosophy and questioning everything, has left me uncertain. I no longer know what I believe. My family doesn't seem to care much about religion either; everyone has their own beliefs.
8 Lately, I feel detached from the person I used to be. I'm not sure if I'm simply exhausted, depressed, or lost, but I know that something inside me has changed. And honestly, I don't know what to do next.
#Friendship #MentalIllness #Relationship #Adult
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