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Life is hard. The only place to soothe the roughness is home. Home is where you find your smile and where you are understood. Welcome! @Burningwords The writer. 👆
I sometimes find myself defending viewpoints, which I do not even know where I've gotten from.
I've noticed this happens to me when I feel tribal and prideful:
Tribal
This happens when a figure I admire does or say something that is false and wrong, and yet I defend them anyways. I defend them because I identify with their "tribe", what they stand for. And the deeply human part of me that wants to remain part of the tribe blinds me from even considering that the thing I'm defending is wrong. And I go on to die on a hill that I should let go of.
Not just that: when somebody who has a stance on life that's completely opposite to mine does something so right and good, I DENY that it is good. This tribal feeling is strangely strong and manipulative.
Prideful
I said something in the past that aligns with certain viewpoints, and because I don't wanna look bad by changing my stance, I stick to it, fight for it, trapped in my own sense of pride. Pride is a sin of the highest degree, and I can see why.
It stops me from admitting errors, and changing course, because that would mean they may point at me and laugh, or they may say, "See, I've been telling you from the beginning, and you didn't listen to me."
tbc...
#small_words
Have you guys seen this? She looks horrible. Is she sick or is somebody telling her this looks good?
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I don't care how much you love each other. Too much display of affection in public, I find it gross. I just do. Fight me.
And to not be a hypocrite, I too avoid too much display of affection in public. Love her in private. I don't need to see your longing gaze, brother; you look ridiculous.
My family looks up to me.
Ladies love me.
I'm burdened with responsibilities I may fail to carry.
Some people have deep hatred for me.
I feel alive.
2. Defining Why
This tool may be the best. Whatever the thing is I wanna start, I ask myself why I wanna do that thing, what I want to happen in the end. Then I'd write few items for why I'm doing it and select the top three items.
Why are the three items important? Because the very next question is: Do my preparation satisfy these top three items? If I start doing the thing, will it be somewhat achieving those three items? If yes, then no more preparation is needed.
The best lessons are learned after starting, not while planning.
3. Staying quiet
Sometimes what stops me from starting something is sharing the plan with people—doesn't matter if they're close. I get excited about the idea, and begin telling the ins and outs of the plan to another person.
This person may be close, and I may love them, but they are usually not an expert in what I tell them. And they usually have opinions about my plan, and whether the opinions are good or bad, it'll usually lead me to either modify the plan, which will take more time, or, for some reason, stop me in my tracks.
There's an immense sense of liberty in staying quiet about a plan.
When I plan, I get excited about how cool my way of thinking is. So because I know I get carried away, I tell myself, I dare you to be quiet about this, until you put this plan in motion, and only tell the people you love about the plan AFTER you succeed.
When I stop seeking help, or opinions, or approvals to my plan, I start earlier, I feel happier, and I succeed faster.
🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶
Next Part Tomorrow
What makes people hate another race or religion to this extent? Just blindly wanting them to be exterminated.
Pure rage.
Religiously murderous.
And these are not psychopaths, as far as I understand.
It is disgusting.
Somebody just said to me, "But last month, you told me that you believed this."
Well new information came up, and so I changed my mind.
People have their beliefs and mindsets set in stone, and when I change, bend, and swing according to information, they get shocked.
"I thought you were this?" 😱
Not anymore, bitch.
People think it's so honorable to maintain unchanging ideas and beliefs (because that would mean they were never wrong; that need of always being proven right).
You're mostly wrong about most things. If you're not flexible, changing for good will forever be a stranger to you.
Only fools don't change their minds.Читать полностью…
—my mother
Good morning.
It's Saturday, and the sun is high. Don't forget to smile.
Chaos is dominant in my life. Time feels as if it is slipping away from my control. I squeeze my brain to think harder and make me act better than I mostly do.
Darkness keeps championing my heart, filling me with regret of choices I made.
A deep deep longing to be set free of worry, and lust, and anger. Guilt. Shame.
A deep longing for an eternal silence where I am left to just be.
#small_words
I can't emphasize this enough.
It's harder to be kind to closed ones than to strangers, but still, we should be better.
If you record yourself crying and upload, I simply don't think you're a genuine person.
Very few exceptions.
Because you just rehearsed crying, timing your tears, just so I would think you're moved about a certain issue.
#justwords
When you are not willing to suffer and sacrifice for long-term gains, you lose my trust.
The pack cannot rely on you. You are not fit—physically, intellectually, emotionally. In the hour where demons screech in strange voices and monsters intently glare at us with glowing us, you'll fold.
You don't know how to endure.
You've always avoided the dark and ugly. Comfort invites you with her arms open, and you run into her embrace, like a little child who dearly missed her mother.
Comfort rubs your head and tells you to treat yourself kindly. She tells you, "Look at how far you've come."
But you know better. You know your sins. Why do you let comfort sing her charming songs?
You delayed the things most deserving of your time and energy.
Your heart housed vile thoughts, your body deprived of tribulations.
Nonetheless, when comfort smiles up on you, you linger in her care.
Perhaps you've given up on yourself irreparably. You'd rather delude yourself and think you're doing well rather than face the bitter Truth.
Truth is the burning light.
Truth wounds your pride: it undresses your soul for you to see all the wrong things you are.
You'd rather comfort's kisses than Truth's scoldings.
A weak person can never be loyal, even if he wants to.
You're too weak to overcome your lust.
Too weak to admit the envy and anger poisoning your blood.
You're too damned weak to delay sweet pleasure in favor of sour pain.
How can you ever be trusted as a loyal partner?
You've done great disservice to your body, to your heart, and to your soul, and yet you harbor ill feelings toward me for rejecting you my trust, and my love.
#small_words
4. Uncertain and Okay
The reason I want the plan to be so perfect before I begin is because I want to be certain of the future. I wanna be certain that it will work. I don't want unseen things to hit me later on.
But that way of thinking is simply stupid. The future is way too unpredictable for me to make it predictable with my silly little planning. What a garbage goal to go after: perfecting the plan.
The more my plan is broad and deep, the more I'll be disappointed when I fail. Because I will fail, of course: it's my first time doing it.
What I should do instead is this:
a. Plan small
b. Implement the plan and fail quickly
c. Learn from the failures
The way I turn the uncertainty of the future to my advantage is EMBRACING the uncertainty, going forward to fail, and then adjusting the next try so that the failure won't be repeated.
The fastest way to learn is to start failing as soon as possible, in as many ways as possible, until a success shows up. Each failure is a clue for success, because I generally understand the margin of error (by how many degrees I missed the target).
🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶
COMPLETED
Me: *explain something I have been thinking a lot about in a passionate way with great detail*
Her: *not paying attention* wow, very nice, but it's so hot today, damn
Me:
Unless you're unhealthy, I don't know how you can consciously decide to avoid eating meat.
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Don't be this guy.
Too many words
Learn to say more with less. The more you speak, the more you stumble and make many errors. You talk more thinking "Here's another banging point to make," not realizing how dumb it's making you look.
And this is not to say keep ALL that you say so short. Because that bit makes you boring and you'll be abandoned.
The sweet balance is understanding when to leverage silence and absence to your advantage.
Asking for sex
With little to no exceptions, do NOT ask for sex. That's not how you get laid, and you look ridiculous asking for it.
Instead learn to flow, flirt, tease, and when the right opportunity shows itself, then claim. If you don't know how to flow, don't know what to say to the girl or the guy, well, like this post, and I'll post
HOW TO SET THE MOOD
I'll go first. For me, it's Midnight in Paris. I find it very beautiful, damn.
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I don't get started quickly, because I'm in love with preparation!
Analyzing too much, thinking about it for so long that all the possible ways I'll fail will take shape in my head. Paralysis by analysis.
This thought pattern traps me because I think to myself, Well, I can't just do it. I need to be prepared for it.
But then when I start preparing for it, I can never have enough of preparing. I can never have enough of sorting things out.
There are few tools that helped me in battling this problem.
1. Freestyle
In writing, I have developed this way of warming up that I call Freestyle. What I do is just write sentences, in no order, to no particular end, for no specific reason. Now it first may seem pointless, but it's actually a very decent way of making the path reveal itself.
If I make a move, the next move makes itself manifest. If I write a garbage sentence, the next sentence will manifest itself, and it's usually a better one.
If I don't know where to start in Freestyle, I usually write that: I don't know what I could possibly write today.
Freestyle also lets me care less about the outcome, and that's important, because mostly I don't begin things for thinking they'd fail. In Freestyle, I don't care if I fail. It was never meant to succeed anyways.
🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶
Next Part Tomorrow
A Wonderful Night
Part 3
#explicit
“You are gonna make me lose my mind,” I whisper to her neck.
“You're sexy when you lose yourself for me.” Her voice is not the same now: it has richness to it, it's as if she's becoming something else. I thrust my hip onto her, and our jeans clap with a heavy thud. She holds on to the wall for balance.
I look at her curly hair, crawl fingers through it, get a grip on it, and pull her lightly. A sharp inhale: it hurt her a bit, but she doesn't panick. She trusts me to hurt her the right way—love her the right way. She knows how to submit to me without losing grace.
She's right: evidently, the power she has over me is ridiculous, too strong to deny. She's not the same caliber of women as the rest.
Her back against the wall, she turns to face me, and wrap a leg on my hip, driving me closer. Her hands fist my shirt, as if she's trying to bully me.
Her eyes on my lips… I can read desire in those clear brown crystals.
She's confident enough to gaze at what she wants for as long as she wants. Then she bites her lip, locking eyes with me. The kiss that followed is euphoric. Otherworldly.
She tightly pulls me closer with her fists, and our tongues find a fiery rhythm, which pulls out of me heavenly feelings. How powerful her desire is, and how artistic she is in displaying it.
“Ah!” I yelp, a sharp pain shot from my lip. “Bitch.”
She bit me. “Your bitch,” she corrects. Her breath is heavy on my lips, wheezing, her hands clasping my face. I could live this moment for a thousand years, in the warmth of the woman I want to worship.
I pick her, take her to the bed, and lay her down, towering over her. Her gaze never leaves my eyes, as I unbuckle my belt.
#justwords
Roses are red
And if you didn't leave me on read
I'd have done to you the things I've said
But you were never meant to share my bed 🩸
Violets are blue
There aren't many beautiful souls like you
I'd do what I can to take you to the moon
I feel godly when my hold makes you swoon
#rhyme
Ladies.
If your beloved speaks highly of another man he admires, don't try to insult, belittle, or disrespect the man he admires.
You don't need to get jealous, and no need to be rude.
Your man is sharing his enthusiasm because you're his trusted friend: don't repay that with disrespect. Or else, you will quickly feel a shift in your relationship.
Instead share his enthusiasm, and ask more questions about why he thinks that way. Your beauty will instantly elevate before his eyes.
Men.
When your beloved is telling you about her struggles, don't bring up struggles of your own that you have experienced in the past.
She's not saying "I'm suffering more than you are."
She's only saying "I'm suffering, and I need a hand."
Not everything is a competition. Let go of your need to feel heard, and focus on her needs. Be curious, and ask her to tell you more about her situation.
She will remember you for it, and perhaps even reward you for it.
As kids, we used to have little tournaments, where the best footballers of grade 3A would play against the best of grade 3B.
We would pick classmates who we think are truly good. Back then, like most kids, I wanted to be picked, and thankfully, I was picked a few times, but I wanna talk about the times I wasn't picked.
As kids, we were brutally honest. They would never pick me to make me feel good: they would only pick me if I were truly good.
It stings, but now I miss that honesty. That childhood honesty. We grow up and we learn "manners".
And one manner that seems to be very popular among us is this tolerance of mediocrity—so not to hurt people's feelings, so not to lose favor in people's eyes.
We train word-bending, the art of protecting people's feelings, so not to offend them.
I hate that because I don't want people to tell me I'm good at it, unless I'm really good at it. It's misleading.
And I don't wanna tell you you're doing good, when you're really doing bad.
How far do I have to go to protect your feelings? You're clearly bad, or mediocre, at what you do. Why am I obligated to tell you otherwise? And why do you expect me to tell you otherwise?
One good principle I've learned from Jesus is By their fruits you'll know them.
He was warning us against false prophets (meaning liars). And the way to tell them apart, he teaches, is by looking at the results they caused.
He was teaching us to see the results that came from their actions, ignoring the words they tell us.
This is a perfect principle to live by because it achieves two things:
1. It helps us see who's
a liar and who's honest.
Hearing her say "I love you" is cute, but what has she done to show for it?
2. It makes us become
more honest.
This past year I have been trying to develop one habit. And it goes like this:
• Whenever I feel like giving an advice to somebody, I pause.
• Then I see if I myself have practiced my own advice for over a month.
• If I haven't practiced that advice, I refrain from giving the advice, and instead I start practicing the advice.
I was surprised at the sheer amount of advice my mind generates, when in truth, I have practiced only 5 or 10 percent of those.
I mean, we all notice how people who aren't in a relationship has the best-sounding relationship advice, right?
But in truth, it's never applicable. They're just saying ideas that sound good, but it can't be applied. Their advice is not practical.
People who aren't doing the thing always seem to know how to best do the thing.
Very strange, because I am the same. I seem to have more to say on things I'm not good at than things I am good at.
In reality, life is best when practiced, not when talked about.
#small_words
#justwords
You delayed the things most deserving of your time and energy.
Your heart housed vile thoughts, your body deprived of tribulations.
Nonetheless, when comfort smiles up on you, you linger in her care.
Perhaps you've given up on yourself irreparably. You'd rather delude yourself and think you're doing well rather than face the bitter Truth.
Words Burn
Context
He broke the guy's jaw. With a rear naked choke. The amount of power he generates is terrifying.
The speed in which Robert tapped left my eyes wide and big in shock, and it was after I learned he broke his jaw that I understood.
Khamzat is in top form.
Allahu Akbar 🙏