xkcd

01 Apr 2023 00:25

'"Hi, what you do is fly over a designated zone and detach the--" "WE'RE SORRY, THE MOBILE CUSTOMER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS OUT OF SERVICE"'

xkcd

29 Mar 2023 20:45

''So how DID you go from working at the employment records office to becoming president of MIT and CEO of IBM?' 'I guess I just have an eye for opportunities.''

xkcd

27 Mar 2023 18:15

'Subgroup analysis is ongoing.'

xkcd

25 Mar 2023 02:10

'Small sewing machines are sewing machines that are smaller than a sewing machine. A sewing machine is larger than a small sewing machine, but quieter than a loud sewing machine.'

xkcd

23 Mar 2023 03:55

'It maintains odor levels in a normal familiar range, so if you open the windows and the air gets too fresh, it filters it through some dirty laundry samples to compensate.'

xkcd

20 Mar 2023 23:20

'The US uses hollowed-out salt domes to store the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and non-hollowed-out ones to store the Strategic Salt Reserve.'

xkcd

17 Mar 2023 19:55

'My bracket has 76 trombones led by John Philip Sousa facing off against thousands of emperor penguins led by Morgan Freeman.'

xkcd

15 Mar 2023 20:00

'We'll turn the asteroid belt into ball bearings to go between different rings orbiting at different speeds.'

xkcd

14 Mar 2023 02:15

'It's very hard to detect, but recent studies have determined that when plasma B cells are producing antibodies, they go 'pew pew pew''

xkcd

10 Mar 2023 20:10

'Phil Plait once pointed out that you can calculate the total angular area of the sky this way. If the sky is a sphere with radius 57.3 degrees, then its area is 4*pi*r^2=41,253 square degrees. This makes dimensional analysts SO mad, but you can't argue with results.'

xkcd

09 Mar 2023 00:10

'A lot of these are actually non-venomous, but I can see which species you mistook them for. If you pause the crane for a sec I can give you some ID pointers for next time!'

xkcd

07 Mar 2023 05:25

'"Confirmed, we have to scrub." "Ugh, okay. I'll get the bucket and sponge."'

xkcd

03 Mar 2023 15:30

'As the editor has reportedly defeated Death in a series of games of skill, no further obituaries are expected.'

xkcd

01 Mar 2023 17:00

'I was eventually kicked out of my architectural engineering program because I wouldn't stop referring to HVAC as "the fandom."'

xkcd

27 Feb 2023 17:10

'I know hand dryers have their problems, but I think for fun we should keep egging Dyson on and see if we can get them to make one where the airflow breaks the speed of sound.'

xkcd

01 Apr 2023 00:25

2757. "Towed Message"

xkcd

29 Mar 2023 20:45

2756. "Qualifications"

xkcd

27 Mar 2023 18:15

2755. "Effect Size"

xkcd

25 Mar 2023 02:10

2754. "Relative Terms"

xkcd

23 Mar 2023 03:55

2753. "Air Handler"

xkcd

20 Mar 2023 23:20

2752. "Salt Dome"

xkcd

17 Mar 2023 19:55

2751. "March Madness"

xkcd

15 Mar 2023 20:00

2750. "Flatten the Planets"

xkcd

14 Mar 2023 02:15

2749. "Lymphocytes"

xkcd

10 Mar 2023 20:10

2748. "Radians Are Cursed"

xkcd

09 Mar 2023 00:10

2747. "Presents for Biologists"

xkcd

07 Mar 2023 05:25

2746. "Launch Window"

xkcd

03 Mar 2023 15:30

2745. "Obituary Editor"

xkcd

01 Mar 2023 17:00

2744. "Fanservice"

xkcd

27 Feb 2023 17:10

2743. "Hand Dryers"