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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
I think I am asexual and it’s killing my husband.
Female, married for 15+ years, one child. I’ve always felt like a fraud about sex. Always felt like I was play acting somewhat at being a sexual person. Never really felt the urge or drive to have sex. I have enjoyed it before but it’s taken on such baggage for me now I can’t separate any enjoyment from all that baggage, to work out how I truly feel. Our sex life from the beginning has always been deficient for my husband and a source of stress for me. He has tried to get me more interested, has genuinely tried to let me take the lead and to figure out what I like. He’s been willing to try anything. I feel like a failure. I told him I thought I might be asexual and his reaction was devastation. I feel I have completely destroyed him. He said he could have muddled through before with the hope, however small, of maybe our sex life being able to improve but me telling him that I’ve never been sexually attracted to him has basically destroyed him and made him feel like our marriage has been a complete lie. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t trying to trick him, I genuinely didn’t know. I have felt broken all my life, I didn’t know how important sex is to a normal person and how fundamental it is to some peoples concept of a romantic relationship. I know that I fell in love with my husband. I know that I find him handsome and funny and he’s a great dad. I also know that I can’t enjoy sex unless I am feeling emotional connection to him and I haven’t felt it in so long, and now
I don’t think it can ever come back, because he believes that I’ve basically lied to him our entire marriage and he has no interest in having sex with someone who doesn’t want it the same way he does. I don’t know what to do.
https://redd.it/1gzb7md
@asexualityonreddit
Allos attempts at not sexualizing stuff
https://redd.it/1gz89jm
@asexualityonreddit
So I’m gay
As you read I’m gay but I think I’m asexual, I like the idea of dating but hate the idea of sex. I used to but now it’s disgusting to me, I thought I was just overreacting since I still masturbate? Any advice?
https://redd.it/1gz5k83
@asexualityonreddit
Why is everything about sex?
I'm not even talking about being asexual or not anymore, it seems like absolutely everything is connected to sex.
In movies, unless they are for children, there always has to be a sex scene. They never add much to the plot other than gratuitously showing me scenes of naked people sharing fluids.
Conversations between friends always have to include some sex, often very explicit even if we don't share that level of intimacy.
Saying that you think a guy is nice person and then being asked "Why? Do you like him? Would you sleep with him?"
When people put sex first in a relationship as something important when a relationship is much more complex than just that.
When you haven't had sex in a long time and people seem to lose their minds like it's the most important thing in life.
When singers start gaining fame just because they start sexualizing themselves.
When advertising campaigns use sex as a way to sell.
When you're young and everyone's pressuring you to lose your virginity because it's a "super important thing".
It's everywhere and the worst thing is that if you refuse to be part of all that strange idealization towards sex and you are someone more private or who doesn't think about sex, you are a saint, a wretch, a puritan, a fake, a spoilsport, a dullard, a frigid.
I'm really so tired of this society, you can never be completely yourself, they will always judge you no matter what you are. I just want to live free
https://redd.it/1gz317p
@asexualityonreddit
Any trans aces? Did HRT impact your asexuality in any way?
Hi. I'm AMAB. I want to start hrt soon. But I want to know if there's anyone who knows how that affects asexuality. I like that I'm Ace. I want that to not change with hormones.
https://redd.it/1gyxjjx
@asexualityonreddit
I hate having a libido...
I (M22) like all your support from my previous post. Thank you.
This shit just makes me depressed. I just hate having a libido. Like why do I have one? I don't want sex nor do I feel happy from it. Theres no point of my having one at all. Its pointless but I have to bloody deal with it. I don't know what purpose it serves when the outcome is just dealing with a hassle.
https://redd.it/1gyt87d
@asexualityonreddit
Do people believe you when you say you are ace?
I am a guy and people can’t grasp it at all, specially people that fancy me, and even some people try to push me to be like super gay because I’m not the typical douchebag and that drives me insane
https://redd.it/1gygia9
@asexualityonreddit
Petition to put something on top of the ace flag /j
https://redd.it/1gyq7cf
@asexualityonreddit
Am I asexual.
I identify as grey asexual currently however I'm thinking about myself in order to deduce a proper label for myself.
Check it
I don't really think I experience sequal attraction however I do have the arousal bit where beyond my brain doing the sexual thing my body does it instead. I don't hate sexual activities because I enjoy the sensual bits but I genuinely don't think my brain does sexual attraction.
I enjoy companionship and such and do and will do sex but my brains removed from it all. It's just a task to me.
maybe I'm just cooked.
I need help omfg.
https://redd.it/1gyiaab
@asexualityonreddit
I just need some objective opinions on this.
https://redd.it/1gyibhu
@asexualityonreddit
I'm very happy with this piece I did of my OC Rowan and now you have to deal with her too
https://redd.it/1gygsdh
@asexualityonreddit
omg I used to feel like that too dw you’ll get over it!
you wouldn’t say that to a lesbian or a gay man. So what’s the difference, I get so mad when people just say I used to feel like that to.
https://redd.it/1gydkk5
@asexualityonreddit
Something I designed to show some pride and confidence as an ace person
https://redd.it/1gy6rgw
@asexualityonreddit
Look at all the families...
I was at a volunteer event today taking pictures for the organization and, once my mind had time to wander, I noticed all the families surrounding me. It's not an everyday thing. It was just very apparent today, so I had to take some time and ponder my feelings.
For reasons, since I was young (child), I've always wanted my personal group, my people, my family, and I'm still trying to figure out how creating a family would work for me. What it would look like and who it would consist of. Whether I'll get to make it happen or have to accept a life without it.
I really want to accept the possibility that it WON'T happen just so that if it DOES, it'll be that much more special to me. But that's a work in progress, and moments like the one today are practice, I guess.
https://redd.it/1gy5s5o
@asexualityonreddit
The Religious Experience
So I was raised in a very strict religious environment. Mormon. If you must know. So I was brought up being taught sexual desire was sinful. Pornography was super sinful. Masturbation was next to murder. (Not an exaggeration)Etc. So I thought I was Extra Righteous™️ because I didn’t do any of that. And didn’t even have desire to. So this boosted my ego and let me think I was chosen because I was spared the evils that influenced everyone else.
I didn’t have premarital sex. Again, I wasn’t even tempted to. Extra Righteous ™️
So you get married and you get to your wedding night and then . . . The realization. Oh. Maybe I’m broken? Especially when you’re a man and you’re expected to want sex all the time. You get accused of being gay by your spouse. But you’re pretty sure you’re not gay.
Then decades later and two marriages later as well, you hear about what it means to be Ace. Then it all clicks. Anyways, rant over.
https://redd.it/1gy5og3
@asexualityonreddit
This is as close as you can get to a character being ace without saying THIS CHARACTER IS ACE
https://redd.it/1gyytb4
@asexualityonreddit
Can you know you’re asexual if you’ve never had sex?
I’m 20f. IDK what sexual attraction is supposed to feel like but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it. I’ve always viewed sex as something I would unfortunately need to do one day. It deeply grosses me out— especially picturing myself in that sort of scenario. It’s repulsive to me. I’ve had romantic feelings for people, but NEVER could I look at someone and feel an urge to sleep with them. I’ve been wondering if I could be asexual. It would relief if I was, but I’m not sure. I’ve never had a sexual experience, so idk if I can even know. Maybe I’d try it and realize I was wrong.
Would it be weird if I started identifying as asexual despite never having “tried it”?
https://redd.it/1gz644f
@asexualityonreddit
The Aroaces (OC)
https://redd.it/1gz1ecs
@asexualityonreddit
YES IM A VIRGIN WHY DOES EVERYONE AROUND ME CARE SO FUCKING MUCH SHUT THE HELL UP I JUST WANT TO WATCH TV I DONT CARE ABOUT SEX FUCK OFFFFFFF
https://redd.it/1gz0koi
@asexualityonreddit
Outsider question - do you have drive for anything?
I'm sorry if the title sounds rude! I've been thinking about "destroying" my desire for sex (although it's looking like that's not possible) and have asked around about it. People told me that if I succeeded I would "lose my drive for anything" which seems like a load of baloney to me but got me curious. What motivates asexual people in their day to day?
https://redd.it/1gywi4b
@asexualityonreddit
None of us! None of us!
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1gyhoca
https://redd.it/1gys59m
@asexualityonreddit
Petition to put something on top of the ace flag /j
https://redd.it/1gyq72o
@asexualityonreddit
Hate studying psychobiology
Ok I don’t hate it, but it’s annoying as fuck when the book keeps referring to sex as a need that’s equiparable to the need to eat. And I’m there reading that like. Well I guess I’m fucked up or whatever! Thanks science!
https://redd.it/1gykyw6
@asexualityonreddit
I think this is a really good video
https://youtu.be/i6A7UAH5fcY?si=_x5yavp3BCyx3N27
https://redd.it/1gyi385
@asexualityonreddit
My last post this year.
BLESS ME WIT LUCK FELLOW ACES
Dude! Idk if this post should go here. It was Last year I realized that I was ace, but until I became more active on Reddit I was under the impression that aces are only handful. I am grateful I got to observe such vast preferences and also accept myself better.
So Trying to be a part of it, I figured I want to share this with this community which makes me feel AT HOME.
It's my last school year. I have to leave social media to focus on studying. As much I am sad, as much I am excited for a new "Adult Asexual"- chapter in my life. I am little nervous about if I'll meet the right group of people to be friends with. I hope I get in a good reputed college.
And also a good percentage to get admission in one!
https://redd.it/1gyhkw7
@asexualityonreddit
Why do people find certain parts of the body hot?
I don’t understand why the neck or hands or stomach are “hot” or “sexy”? It’s just skin
https://redd.it/1gyg8hz
@asexualityonreddit
I mentioned I was asexual or somewhat asexual to a couple friends. Somewhat strange responses.
Hey,
I came out as asexual or asexual spectrum to a couple friends recently. I got very different responses that I didn't expect.
One friend of mine who's very sexually normative and heteronormative was thought I should experience a relationship/sex before deciding. I can understand why some people think that especially if theyre unaware.
Another friend of mine is tbh a sex addict and always talks about his sexual stories with me for no reason. He was super supportive of me and accepting.
https://redd.it/1gyanga
@asexualityonreddit
Queer Collective on Instagram: "Affirmation: Being ace / aro isn’t something you should ever apologize for 🫶
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This podcast is proudly presented by @vizzyhardseltzerca 🌈
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#asexual #asexuality #aromantic #queerpodcast"
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCkQussvMrv/?igsh=eGd2dW9sdGIyZjZq
https://redd.it/1gy6oms
@asexualityonreddit
What dumb things have allosexuals said to you?
I was explaining to someone that, as a pan ace person, I still desire romantic relationships (on some level anyway). I’m just not interested in anything sexual. They literally said to me “that’s just a friendship then”.
By that logic, people in sexual relationships are just friends with benefits!
What dumb things have you heard people say about asexuality?
https://redd.it/1gy529h
@asexualityonreddit
Recalling the days when I was super friendly to people and I’m embarrassed.
I struggle with reading the room and understanding what’s meant between the lines, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. In high school, I was something of a social butterfly and overtly friendly, so naturally, I talked to a lot of people. However, I realized too late that some of the men I interacted with thought I was hitting on them—often. There was even a time when I was too buddy-buddy with my female demisexual friend, she developed feelings for me and confessed.
I used to contact and check up on people a lot, but it’s so much harder now that I realize my actions can be interpreted in a completely different way. Recently, I saw an old male classmate of mine, someone I used to do theater with, who was one of the people I’d been overly friendly to. He confessed back then that he thought I was very interested in him. The old me would’ve just reached out to him without hesitation, but now I feel hyper-conscious of every action I make, especially toward the opposite sex.
I even overheard a male friend talking about how a girl had been staring at him for a while, and his conclusion was that she must be interested in him. It never occurred to me that something as simple as staring could be seen in that way! And I did use to stare at people, knowing what staring can imply was the wake-up call I needed at the time. I’ve recently learnt how to pick up social cues more effectively and it’s doing great!
Fyi- I am demisexual and sex negative border lining prudish.
Edit- correction of typos
https://redd.it/1gxt042
@asexualityonreddit