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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
I (18 F) had my first kiss/make outs and I’m not really feeling it. Is he a bad kisser or is it me?
Okay, so l've never been super interested in being in a romantic relationship. I was in my early teen years, but I've gotten so tired that it's not really a necessity. I'd like to fall in love with someone, but I haven't had romantic feelings for anyone in years, if not ever.
So l got this guy's number while swing dancing, and we texted for about two-three weeks before going on a date. It was really comfortable. He's easy to talk to and understands my humor. However, I don't think I have any romantic feelings for him. I was leaving in a week after that first date, and we'd both acknowledged that we likely wouldn't see each other after that. No hard feelings.
The night of our first date, we were watching a movie in my apartment and he kissed me. But not just a soft peck, like, tongue licking into my mouth kissed me. Again. I've never kissed anyone. We made out for a long time, but that was it. Wasn't really sure how I felt about it. It wasn't fantastic or anything, but it wasn't bad, either. Just new, I guess.
We've made out two times since, and we're both leaving so we won't meet again. Here's where l'm a little confused.
I was comfortable with him, but each time just confirmed it wasn't romantic. The kissing was alright, but nothing l'd be dying to do again.
Honestly, I'm kind of glad I'm leaving because of that. He seemed to enjoy it a lot more than I did. Straight up shaved and bought beard oil (I got beard burn the first time) because I told him I wouldn't kiss him with stubble. If I'd peek at him, he would just look lost in it, breathing a bit hard, holding me tight. I, however, felt overly aware during the whole thing. No fuzzy thoughts, no rush of excitement, nothing. It was a decently nice sensation, but that was it. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t breathtaking. Just. There, I guess.
Now, he said/did some things that make me think he was catching feelings, which might be why he was enjoying it so much. I've been wondering for awhile if I'm asexual or demisexual, because I don't really feel sexually or even romantically attracted to anyone. I thought it was because I’m so burnt out from life, but maybe it’s actually me. Was it mediocre because I didn't have feelings and he was likely a mid-kisser, or does that mean there's something else?? I don't really get why people would be addicted to that?? Dunno, man.
I’m as interested in sex as any other late teenager, but not with anyone. So idk what any of this means, but that was a very mid-experience
https://redd.it/1hfwrin
@asexualityonreddit
more. goddamn. slices.
https://redd.it/1hfn6fj
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Outrageous questions on HHS job applications
Hello, fellow aces. First time posting, so hopefully this is okay. Just wanted to share this article my partner and I came across in case anyone hasn't seen/heard about it yet. Apparently, RFK Jr is using or wants to use some crazy questionnaire for applicants applying to the HHS that includes a question asking the applicant if they have much interest in having sexual experiences with others. Like, WTF?? There's other questions on there that ask if the applicant likes to use their appearance to draw attention to themselves, if they get upset if others don't notice how they look, or even if they feel like they have a sixth sense. It's bananas. They're coming for all of us, even if we'd typically be able to fly under the radar or "pass" as cis-het. It's so sad and scary.
Here's the article if you want to read it:
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/12/rachel-maddow-stunned-by-trump-hiring-forms-outrageous-personal-questions/
https://redd.it/1hfrjws
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“Illegal” Shipping
https://redd.it/1hflt61
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Pro sex asexual?
I have consider myself asexual for a while now but I enjoy sex. I have and continue to enjoy sex with people of any gender. Sex can feels good and be fun. But I don't find anyone sexualy attractive and I am not aroused by porn. I'm surprised by how many people here hate sex. Are there any other Pro sex asexuals? Am I just not asexual?
https://redd.it/1hfhi8g
@asexualityonreddit
Friends are asking why I don’t date
Basically whenever we get together with my new friends, they always start talking about dating. Especially one guy. He talks about how he’s simultaneously dating 4 women. And I feel like I cannot contribute anything and I’m raising suspicions.
I’m not dating not because I’m asexual but because I’m trans and in the middle of my bottom surgery journey. I’m also heavily stealth, meaning I don’t disclose my trans status to ANYONE, only ppl who knew me before know about it.
So ever since I’ve transitioned I stopped dating. Before that I’ve had a really crazy sexual life with women. Now I want to finish my transition journey and don’t wanna date until my body becomes fully functional (at least as much as current technology allows it). I feel like a man with an erectile dysfunction.
I don’t know how to navigate my currently sexless life when everyone around is having sex and I can’t and don’t want to and it will stay like this for at least another 1,5 years. I don’t know what to tell my friends without outing myself. I don’t want to have sex with what I have now and make myself severely dysphoric again.
I was thinking maybe I could meet an asexual woman and have that type of relationship.
Or maybe someone is also struggling with a lot of nosy questions from friends and family and needs a stand-in boyfriend — let’s help each other.
https://redd.it/1hf9aix
@asexualityonreddit
do you guys ever feel guilty?
hi guys, as im sure you may have guessed, i am asexual, and im just wondering——do you guys ever feel guilty?
ever since i knew i was asexual, i just have had this crazy feeling of guilt that has washed over me——and we aren’t talking like just a few weeks, but like a couple of years. i just feel as if i have been cursed into the mind and body of an asexual just to disappoint everyone. i am an only child, and——as egotistical as this sounds——pretty attractive, very smart, and very athletic. again, not trying to sound egotistical, but i have to reject many kind, attractive ladies just because of my asexuality (and my aromanticism) and my fear of disappointing them. i’ve even cut contact with people over it. i feel like i am an emotional burden to them by just merely being asexual. i know i was born this way or whatever, but still——it doesn’t feel human.
it’s not just that, but i am an only child. my parents have been always pushing me to pursue relationships with women——or even anybody, regardless if they are same-sex, non-binary, or anything else. they aren’t homophobic, but i feel like the one thing they would never accept is asexuality, and aromanticism for that matter aswell. they make subtle hints about me having children one day, and every single time i get scared to the core. nevertheless, the only thing equally as scary is the thought of leaving my parents disappointed. i feel that if i do not have grandchildren, i will fail them. i am the only child after all——their hail mary.
it’s led me to two solutions in my mind: donate to a sperm bank or force myself into marriage and then children. i don’t like either, and i certainly don’t like the marriage idea——but i may have to. i just don’t feel like asexuality is a life i can lead, even if it’s my true self——even if i’d be happiest. i want my parents to at least have lived for something to be remembered by, and for me to not be, in essence——a complete failure. even if I became the president of the united states, it wouldn’t be enough to me.
i just feel like god herself has damned me for no reason whatsoever. i have done nothing wrong at all, and i always try to be as kind as i can for others——yet still i am punished. god loves her children or whatever. do you guys feel this way aswell? what did you guys do? i’d appreciate any answers whatsoever. it’s finals week anyways, i could use excuses to not study.
https://redd.it/1hfcmh0
@asexualityonreddit
weird realization
i dont know why, but i just realized why most people enjoy "good looking" people/bodies
for me, when im attracted to someone it's always because the way they look is aesthetically pleasing. i don't know how else to explain it, but it's more of an analytical assessment of how their features fit together where i can say, "yes, i like looking at this person, they have a nice hip-shoulder ratio" or something like that.
but for people who are driven by sex, they're mostly concerned with sex, and ive never thought of that. like people who like muscles on a person like it because they're gonna have better endurance in bed, not just because a toned body is easy to look at.
now obviously people who have sexual attraction arent usually sex-crazed maniacs and i know it's also an aesthetic thing for them to some degree, but i never considered there were any thoughts other than that and now i don't know how to feel. it's really weird how much of life revolves around sex when you think about it.
https://redd.it/1hf7sss
@asexualityonreddit
What it feels like watching shows nowadays
https://redd.it/1hcuuac
@asexualityonreddit
Can you read smut /spicy books but be uncomfortable talking about it with people (like friends or online) and still be ACE?
Because I feel like I could read smut or spicy but I guess it also depends on the smut /spicy level. But like talking about it with people and with friends is what makes me uncomfortable and if I had a significant other, I wouldn't be into that and be repulsed by it.
Because when my group of friends talk about sex or sex related things, it makes me uncomfortable. It's also that I don't want to picture them in my mind that way too. Like I don't want that image.
I'm the 40 yr old virgin. So.. talking about sexual stuff makes me uncomfortable.
I'm like, does that still make me ACE?
Also wish you could add more 'flairs' then just one.
https://redd.it/1hct3gg
@asexualityonreddit
asexual bingo
https://redd.it/1hcnmh9
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😳
https://redd.it/1hchq8f
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Watching Home Alone and this seemed like it’d make a good meme for us
https://redd.it/1hcf56a
@asexualityonreddit
The fact that this sign was even necessary in the first place
https://redd.it/1hccre0
@asexualityonreddit
I thought I recognized this color pallete... How should I tell Her?
https://redd.it/1hca6au
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*Getting ready to skip the undoubtedly uncomfortable scene*
https://redd.it/1hfnff3
@asexualityonreddit
My crush is asexual and I need to move on
Sorry in advance for the yapping, this might be more of a vent than advice but I really just want to talk to someone about this. So I met my crush about a year and a half ago, it was during a pre college course in Dallas. I had a bit of a crush on her at the time, but the course was only 2 weeks long and since she lives in Oregon, and I in Pennsylvania, we didn’t see each other, but remained in contact. We called each other every now and then, but at some point didn’t call much. However we both are interested in music and she goes to a music school in New York for college now. I go to a normal college with a relatively good music program still in PA, but was planning to transfer to that same school a while ago. Since around august we’ve been talking more frequently, every other week or so we’ve been calling on the phone, and we text sometimes. She knows I want to transfer to her school, and for a while we planned my visit and even bought each other gifts. At this point I’m close to her and I care about her a lot, I even wanted to maybe ask her out when I transferred next year. Problem appeared last month. Found out she’s asexual. Don’t know if she’s aromantic or not, but from I can tell she’s never really had that much interest in romance or dating anyone. This was crushing to me, but I tried not to think about it too much, although it was difficult not to. I finally visited her 2 weeks ago, and it was great. Spent the day together, talked a lot, went smoothly, had fun, explored the city, she showed me her school, we talked in her dorm. I had a great time with her, but part of me also thinks that I’m looking for something that isn’t there and never will be. Ofcourse I still want to be her friend no matter how she feels about me, but it’s been getting hard trying to move on. Some part of me still holds on to the small possibility she might not be aromantic, but the realistic part of me tells me I’m making stuff up, and she only sees me as a friend. It hurts a lot, because I’ve only met a couple people in my life who are as passionate about creating music as I am, and she is one of them. I’ve grown to care about her a lot the past year and a half, and I desperately want something there, but I guess I know that’s not possible. I don’t know how to deal with this, if I do transfer to that school I’ll see her almost everyday, and it might be harder to move on, but part of me doesn’t want to. It’s a dumb feeling, but I don’t know what to do. Maybe just wanted to talk about it with someone right now. But if you made it to the end, thank you for reading.
https://redd.it/1hfs3z2
@asexualityonreddit
Has anyone noticed how similar Amethyst look to the ace flag?
https://redd.it/1hflqec
@asexualityonreddit
What does attraction feel like?
TLDR; I might be sexually attracted to my friend? But I don’t know if it’s attraction or just wanting to show affection through physical intimacy?
I identify as acearo and very physically affectionate with my friends (who are okay with it). While I’m not new to the occasional questioning of “am I really?” this is the longest one of these identity crises have lasted.
I have a friend that I’ve been close with for two years. While there’s no question I’m in love with him (platonically), I started wondering what it would be like with him sexually. It was more curiosity and wanting my first time to be with someone I was comfortable with so why not show you love your buds by getting them off? Ive always found sex cool in concept, eh in practice but maybe with someone I’m close with it’ll be good. So we hooked up, it was a fun time, and I thought that was the end of it.
I went out and explored my sexually more since overall I’m pretty sex-neutral, and while I had fun with other people, my mind regularly goes back to him. Instead of the vague “I think it’d be fun to have sex with him” thoughts that’d pop in, it became more specific and more frequent. I don’t get turned on (I think?) but I get really hung up on it. I don’t know if I’m just overthinking but it’s different semi-regularly thinking about sleeping with someone.
Sorry if this is all over the place the whole thing has just made me confused. I love him a lot and love any time we talk or spend together. I just don’t know if wanting to have sex with him again is me wanting to express myself through physical affection/intimacy, or if he’s the mythical “exception” to my aceness. I’ve had other friends I’m as close or closer with but have never had this kind of thing happen before. What does attraction feel like or how is it supposed to feel?
https://redd.it/1hfjlxn
@asexualityonreddit
Feeling Like I'll Never Find Someone Who love Me
I’m 17, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, but I’ve always felt like something’s been off when it comes to relationships. I don’t believe in teen love, and I’m not interested in dating just for the sake of it. I’ve realized that I’m asexual, which means I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone, and I’m also not willing to ever experience sex. For me, love is about emotional connection and support, not about anything physical.
On top of that, I’m a feminist, and I believe in equality and respect. I know that this makes dating feel even more complicated, especially when it seems like the world expects relationships to be all about romance and sex. I want to find someone who understands me, someone who respects my values and my boundaries, but sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone out there who truly gets it.
I do want to get married someday, but the more I think about it, the more it feels like I’ll never find someone who’s okay with the fact that I don’t fit the typical dating mold. I want love, but not in the conventional sense—and I just don’t know if that’s something I’ll ever find
espeically in my country.
I guess I’m just venting here because it feels like I’m destined to be alone. Does anyone else feel like they’ll never find someone who understands their values, boundaries, and identity? I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else can relate.
https://redd.it/1hfgx3f
@asexualityonreddit
Am I Asexual?
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
https://redd.it/1hfbq03
@asexualityonreddit
Imagine if Sabrina Capenter was Asexual
Like her whole thing is that she's Freaky so what would the lyrics for one of her songs even say like "Nonsense" how much would it change?
https://redd.it/1hfbg6u
@asexualityonreddit
Yasmin Benoit in Playboy talking about asexuality
https://redd.it/1hf8kaa
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Anyone relate?
https://redd.it/1hcsdbb
@asexualityonreddit
B-i-n-g-o
https://redd.it/1hcpbr2
@asexualityonreddit
It’s hard out here you all
https://redd.it/1hckvhx
@asexualityonreddit
is 15 too young to tell
idk if im ace or if the puberty hormones just havent kicked in yet
https://redd.it/1hcccom
@asexualityonreddit
Watching Home Alone and this felt very meme-able
https://redd.it/1hcf48k
@asexualityonreddit
Can we stop with the aphobic twitter posts.
I may be wrong but I feel like it's becoming an "trend" to put screenshots of aphobic twitter threads, and it just a bit uncomfortable. The top two posts right now are both these types of posts, it might be a coincidence but also I feel like I've seen more of it lately.
I do know that these posts are tagged and have spoilers to show that they contain aphobia. I don't mind looking at aphobia in most circumstances, for example if someone is sharing a story about another people being a bigot, then I don't mind hearing that experience and maybe giving advice to the person.
The problem is that the twitter posts are just some bigot sharing their opinion on the internet. it's not something that we should give recognition/a platform. These people crave attention, are opinionated beyond belief, and will not stop until they have "won" the conversation in one way or another. A lot of these are just mind numbing hatred and adds nothing
The only defense against this argument that I can see is that it might help fight against the argument of "a-spec people aren't discriminated". I guess that's a fair enough argument, but I just don't think that some screenshots of twitter posts help that much. Not trying to target anyone making this post, just hope that these kinds of posts stop. If anyone has a different opinion let me know I would like to hear it.
(also move to bluesky, I haven't seen an single bigoted post there (yet) (results may very))
https://redd.it/1hcbnn6
@asexualityonreddit
Here we go again...
https://redd.it/1hc8moz
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