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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
The asexual urge to pet and hug these anthropomorphic alien animals
https://redd.it/1hu3owf
@asexualityonreddit
basically most straight men’s thoughts on asexuality
https://redd.it/1hjxr73
@asexualityonreddit
And they are saying "the queers sexualize children"??? wtf...
https://redd.it/1hjwfk9
@asexualityonreddit
I have found the most offensive thing I have ever heard a non asexual person say and it is surprisingly not that asexuals don’t exist but what do you guys think
So I was scrolling Reddit and since I visit this subreddit a lot I got recommended a post that literally said that the poster was gay and that they did not think that asexuals should be included in lgbtq+ because that is for sexuality’s and a sexuality is not a sexuality it is the opposite or in their words “I don’t think asexuals deserve a spot under this magnificent rainbow” and I have never been more angry in my entire life what do you guys think. Also that garlic bread is not the best food that has ever been made by man but that is unrelated to this.
https://redd.it/1hjq66k
@asexualityonreddit
How exactly can an asexual be sex-favorable?
With all die respect, this is something that genuinely confuses me. I know asexuality exists in many forms and shades. I myself used to think it just meant being disgusted by all sexual activity before realizing that one can still be neutral about it or (like myself) feel libido in other ways but not care about the act if sex itself.
But doesn't sex-favorable contradict the very definition of what an asexual is? How does that work, and how is it different from non-asexuality (allo)?
https://redd.it/1hjoay9
@asexualityonreddit
Do people intend to be this rude??
So I recently discovered I was aroace (32 F). I'm hetero oriented and still desire a companion and kids someday. I'm currently sex repulsed so plan on using IUI, IVF, or adopting if the other routs don't work out.
Anyway, I've never liked dating apps ( for obvious reasons now), but thought that now I know myself better and have a greater understanding of what I want and need in a relationship, I might have better luck navigating them.
Boy was I wrong! Everything I hated about dating apps before has just been amplified by my new perspective. I stated that I'm asexual and aromantic on my profile, and how that shapes what I'm looking for in a life partner. I also shared ( I thought ) other aspects of my personality and identity through pics and other prompts on my profile, but it seems as soon as a guy reads thar I'm asexual, thats ALL he sees.
I've gotten responses from several guys with 'beat around the bush' inquiries about wheather sex is of the table for me and once I confirm that it most likely is, ghosted!
One guy just came out and asked it, and I used it as an opportunity to educate him about the spectrum and not all aces are the same, but that yes, for me it is a no. He pretty much said that was a deal breaker for him, but hopes I find someone with my same views. Which was fine in itself, but then he sends the message " probably a vegetarian or someone with low testosterone" WHAT?! OK, now I'm mad.
Another guy, again after trying to educate someone who at first seemed genuinely interested in learning about asexuality, responded " That's crazy you've never been horny before. Jeez" And I'll note that I never actually said that, he just assumed. I just said "And I think it's crazy how horny everyone else is! Such a distraction, how do y'all get anything done??" He never responded haha
Ugh it's just so frustrating trying to date in this world. Anybody else have similar experiences or frustrations?
https://redd.it/1hjm3s5
@asexualityonreddit
What do I wanttttt!
I don't think I have sexual attraction (at least in real life 😂) or romantic attraction but sometimes I just get so confused. 🤔
What do I want tho?
Like I want friends....in theory..😗😭
I want to cuddle them and kiss them(maybe make out?😬) and flirt too...
In my head only tho...real people just too weird and scary for that.
I think people look so pretty and I just want to stare but at the same time I don't(I don't know why I can't explain 😄)...and I sometimes want to cuddle people cause they look so cute and sexy. Then I think about a qpr type thang.
That sounds good..untill I feel that I would be trapped in that and I don't want to hurt anyones feelings so I get frustrated.
I want more than that at times.
But not sex(unless it's in my head and even then...🫤🥲), I want something that I can't describe.
Then an emptiness takes over.
It just makes me upset because when I discovered more about asexuality I was validated and all and with aromanticality I was ok with it especially when I found out out about alterous attraction and qprs.
Now I don't think I can do any of it.😵💫😐🥲
Does anybody get it?
https://redd.it/1hjkf4x
@asexualityonreddit
my ace ring
https://redd.it/1hjfp87
@asexualityonreddit
Christmas love songs scream “asexual love”
At least for me personally. Because, what’s the number one thing that’s replacing the theme of sex in these songs? Kissing. That’s my shit! Obviously, there are some sexual songs for dramatic effect but nine times out of 10….
Hey, Merry Christmas!! 💜🖤🎅🏻
https://redd.it/1hjd4y0
@asexualityonreddit
Gray-sexual
I’ve been thinking about the different micro labels on the asexual spectrum, but there aren’t really any on the allosexual end of the spectrum. The term “gray-sexual” is often used for those whose experience falls in the middle of allosexual and asexual (I guess there the reason that there aren’t really any micro labels on the allosexual end of the spectrum is that society considers allosexual “normal” and so it gets less consideration). However the word “gray-sexual” doesn’t seem to actually indicate if one is on the asexual end of the spectrum, as opposed to the allosexual end of the spectrum. So would it be fair to say that “gray-sexual” could include what could be called “gray-allo”? Whereas “gray-asexual” would mean more towards the asexual end of the spectrum?
https://redd.it/1hjcukk
@asexualityonreddit
terribly afraid that my asexuality/sex-repulsion will end my relationship
I (28F) have been in a relationship with my (29M) boyfriend for 2 years.
I have identified as a demisexual for most of my adult life. I have been going through months of sexual issues and introspection. I realized that in the past, I only EVER had sex because I thought I was supposed to, or because the other person wanted it and I had no real reason to refuse. I would frequently cut dating off very early to avoid doing it or doing it again, but claim it was due to various other incompatibilities. When I got with my current boyfriend, I liked him so much that I just thought maybe I could enjoy it with him. I cannot. And continuing to make myself do it has made the issue worse and worse. I’ve found myself shying from any physical affection at all, because I don’t want to arouse him. I almost never even think of sex except to feel fear when it’s been “too long” and I know I can’t keep putting it off.
He would never intentionally pressure me. I HAVE talked to him about my aversion, and he said he would willingly wait years for me to be ready again. He said I should never make myself do it when I don’t want to. But that doesn’t save me from feeling eaten alive by guilt when he clearly gets worked up and I have to reject him. Part of me knows he just can’t be happy with this forever. It also does not help matters that what he’s into sexually, what “works for him,” is basically just a ton of work with no reward for me on a physical level. I don’t want it AND I’m expected to take the active/dominant role. The truth is if I had it my way and there would be no consequences, sex wouldn’t be years away—it would be never.
I know in my heart he would claim to be ok with this…at first. But I can’t imagine any allosexual being happy being celibate forever. Non-monogamy is not something either of us is willing to do.
So I’m just living with this awful dark cloud of knowing that this will probably at some point force an end to the best relationship I’ve ever been in with a truly kind and wonderful partner. We live together and have nearly all of our friends in common, so even a mutual breakup would be hugely destructive. I wish I could be different.
https://redd.it/1hj3s7y
@asexualityonreddit
Is it just an ace thing that aesthetic attraction is a very strong feeling?
For me, aesthetic attraction is very strong. When I'm walking on the street, I admire everyone and often notice that I'm thinking about how beautiful all the people are.
Sometimes I see a very good-looking individual and then I just get super hyped about it. I just want to scream because they're so pretty but I don't feel any other feelings towards them.
A couple of months back, I was super aesthetically attracted to a person and tried to explain the feeling to my bisexual friend, but he didn't seem to get it. That's why I'm asking if this is just an ace thing or just happens to be very strong for us aces. Or maybe it's just me😅
https://redd.it/1hj5i3b
@asexualityonreddit
My sexuality is making me depressed
I wanted romantic love and an equal partnership but seeing heterosexual relationships make me feel like if I ever get into a relationship I will be dominated and forced into a submissive position and also forced into having sex.
I also feel like i’m not lgbt enough to hang out with the lgbt crowd. I just mask as heterosexual while feeling out of place everywhere. If not romantic love I wanted platonic friendships but i feel like i cant truly relate to anyone.
I wanted to engage more with the lgbt community because I honesty don’t get heterosexual relationship dynamics but since i’m heteroromantic i’m “practically straight”
https://redd.it/1hj3rzp
@asexualityonreddit
I thought I was aroace
For many many years I thought I couldn't feel romantic or sexual attraction. But it kinda changed.
Is it possible to feel it to a one specific person? I still don't feel it towards any other people. I'm questioning myself for 2 years now
https://redd.it/1hiukii
@asexualityonreddit
Welp!
https://redd.it/1hiz1ll
@asexualityonreddit
Is anyone else just… Confused??
I came out as aroace a year and a half ago, and I feel like the more secure I become in my asexuality, the more confused I get about how to accurately describe it to allo people. There is not language built for us. This is a romance-centric world. I am tired.
https://redd.it/1hjy7rd
@asexualityonreddit
Insecurities resulting from my asexuality
Hi, I'm in my 20s and I'm asexual. I've never had sex and I don't want to, but it makes me feel very insecure.
You know, the topic of sex comes up often, my first problem is I just don't find it amusing all these jokes etc.
Besides, I have the impression that people somehow know that I am a virgin and therefore treat me like a child... (I received such suggestion from one guy but he wanted to manipulate me to have sex w him).
Ehhh... Does sex really change that much in life? Will this "make me a woman"?
I'm not going to do anything against myself, but I'm tired of being constantly misunderstood and feeling judged because of who I am...
Even the stupid question if I have a boyfriend. I don't have one and never have, but if I say it, people will think I'm weird (I can see it in them) and honestly, I don't want to pretend and invent any past relationships.
Actually, I came here for support and I would like to know if you have ever had a similar problem...
I'm sorry if I described it chaotically, there's a lot going on in my head.
https://redd.it/1hjwlc5
@asexualityonreddit
How can I F21 break up with my girlfriend F22 for being asexual?
Hello there I really hope I can get some good feedback. I’ve always been inexperienced in relationships. I’ve kinda always used the excuse of I’m so busy with school/ work that I never really attempted to date or have sex. I figured if I found the right person then I would be willing to have sex. I chalked up all discomfort or worry from my lack of experience.
Back in August I matched with someone great on a dating app and we hit it off. It’s long distance (3 hours) but we’ve been able to make it work and she’s visited me and I visited her twice.She’s an amazing person. So smart, creative and just a wonderful and supportive person. I really emjoy spending time with her but last visit something happened.
We started kissing and she kept inserting her tongue in my mouth. I do not like kissing with tongue I’ve discovered. She obliged and we kept kissing. She then asked for me to remove my shirt and I was nervous but removed it. Once she started to feel me off I got scared and embarresssly pulled back. She seemed disappointed and sad but I couldn’t force myself to do the deed.
The next day she asked if I was asexual. I really never had thought about it so I denied the claim. She said good because we would have to break up. But for the last week I can’t help but think I may be. I really have never been aroused by another person, masturbated to another person or even felt turned on by a person. Learning from this community has been very helpful and I don’t feel as alone but I think I need to break it off.
I really like her and she really likes me but I know we physically can’t be. She wants to be physical with someone but I can’t be that person. I feel like I wasted her time so any advice on how to end it?
https://redd.it/1hjrtnk
@asexualityonreddit
romantic attraction??
i'm trying to help my friend figure out if she's aroace, but she's (relatably) struggling to figure out if she's feeling romantic or platonic attraction. can any alloromantics explain what romantic attraction actually feels like? because nothing we've found is helpful lmao.
https://redd.it/1hjnhui
@asexualityonreddit
being not fully ace
i feel like i dont fit into the allos or aces. idk where i am exactly, it's really confusing, but I feel like I feel too much attraction for aces and not enough for the allos. i just wish i was on one end of the spectrum or the other, not in between somewhere
https://redd.it/1hjkmlw
@asexualityonreddit
A hat that I'm designing for my Etsy! What do you think? Would you buy this hat?
https://redd.it/1hjlehy
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1hjhkhz
@asexualityonreddit
I'm ace, dating, and my partner doesn't know
I'm currently in my first relationship that appears to be going for the long run. I've finally come to terms with being asexual and my partner doesn't know. I enjoy sex but have no sexual desire and get no pleasure from it. I can't work up the courage to tell him because I'm afraid of losing him or damaging our relationship, but I don't want to keep up this act. Because I'm ace pretending to not be, I'm incredibly anxious about having to keep coming up with things that non-ace people would in bed. Aditionally, I have gone my whole life feeling like there's something wrong with me, because if I'm broken, I can be fixed; but now that I've accepted that I'm ace, I dont want to contuinue living like I'm not. I don't expect any advice from this post, I just needed to share it with someone. Thanks guys
https://redd.it/1hjdf49
@asexualityonreddit
Saw this earlier and thought it kinda fit here
https://redd.it/1hjd2g8
@asexualityonreddit
I disclosed that I'm thinking I might be ace to someone before we started dating, and it's being one of the best and least stressful dating experiences I've ever had
I still don't know if I'm ace or not and I honestly sort of gave up on figuring that out. I decided to just act like I am since sex isn't really important to me in a relationship anyway.
I started dating this enbie recently and decided to disclose sex is likely off the table before the first date. And boy it's been great.
We're both very sensual and love to hug and kiss each other. Which is great because my greatest fear was that they would just treat me like a friend, and I'm definitely not aro lol. I like being very sensual and touchy, just not sexual.
They have been very respectful and I'm feeling we have great communication. They also seem just as happy with our arrangement as I am, despite not being ace themselves. I wouldn't say I'm in love yet but if things continue in that direction that's very likely to happen.
It's been great too because I don't have that paranoia that they'll start to kiss me in certain ways or get me excited to have sex. And I don't feel like I owe them sex for anything. Sex often felt like something transactional that I had to do to maintain a relationship, and now I just don't have to!
https://redd.it/1hj7k8m
@asexualityonreddit
Is sex needed for me to be loved and accepted?
Sorry, just going through some things right now. :/ Some reassurance would be nice.
Thank you.
https://redd.it/1hj63rf
@asexualityonreddit
Need help in understanding my asexual gf
So I’ve (18M) been dating my gf (18F) for close on 10 months. She’s mentioned a few times that she think she might be asexual, but I’m having trouble understanding what she wants and how to ask for my needs in a way she feels good about.
Apparently she said she’s never thought about sex until meeting me, and she’s never masturbated or had an orgasm before. I’m definitely not asexual, but while intimacy is important to me, sex itself is not something I feel like I need, and I assured her she wasn’t weird for it or anything like she thought she was.
So far, we’ve only made out a few times and she’s given me a handjob, which she offered. Here’s where it gets confusing for me. She told me a little while ago that she wants me to initiate more and even said that she “likes her man to be dominant,” and that “all I have to do is ask.” This was a big surprise to me since this was the first time she vocalized something like this, but since then I’ve made an effort to initiate intimacy more (mostly kissing), as well as telling her when I’m feeling horny, which she asked me to do.
It’s just weird because when I am and I do bring it up, she definitely makes me feel acknowledged but it doesn’t seem like she has much horny energy to reciprocate with. And in the past month she’s told me that she only feels horny at night and during ovulation which she said lasts two days lol. And she also said that physical intimacy isn’t that important to her in a relationship.
I just feel kinda stuck honestly because I feel like I’ve received very mixed signals. Like she wants me to initiate physical intimacy, but then she seems like she never thinks about?? I feel like she’s setting me up to get rejected most of the time.
I think this is worth having another conversation with her about but because she said she thinks she’s asexual, I thought it would be worth coming here to try to understand her a bit more. Because I definitely want to be dominant if that’s what she wants but I also want to be respectful and honestly I do fear rejection a bit haha. I’m also thinking it’s possible she doesn’t know what she wants either which is why her desires aren’t clear to me.
Thank you!
https://redd.it/1hj217z
@asexualityonreddit
I think this fits well here
https://redd.it/1hj279p
@asexualityonreddit
Where do you reside ?
It seems there is a maximum of 6 options.
View Poll
https://redd.it/1hj0096
@asexualityonreddit
Can I still identify as asexual?
Just wondering if I can still identify as asexual because:
- I have had a few crushes but only looked at them aesthetically and thinking they’re so pretty (I think this is aesthetic attraction).
- Also the only things that i have imagined doing with my most recent crush is romantic activities and I had the strong desire to want to appreciate everything about them.
-One time with a crush I had made prolonged eye contact and I think that I had a floaty excited feeing in my chest. Like a feel good feeling when I saw them.
-Most of the time I would just want to admire them and their appearance and I don’t think this went any further. Also, if they would talk to me unexpectedly I would just start blushing and start smiling. Idk if that was romantic or sexual.
-Overall, most of the time with this crush I only wanted to look at them and appreciate their aesthetics. The only time that a sexual thought entered my mind I felt uncomfortable and didn’t like it at all.
Anyway does any of this make me not asexual? Thanks
https://redd.it/1hiwr2k
@asexualityonreddit