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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
As a whole year, I finally found my pin again
https://redd.it/1ivh0v6
@asexualityonreddit
Accidentally came out to my mom lol
I (F 34) am married and a mother, and today while having a chat with my mom, I accidentally outed myself.
I mentioned I was concerned because my period was delayed. She insisted I should test for pregnancy, and I said it was impossible. After she pressed the subject, I just admitted my husband and I haven't had sex in more than an year. She was shocked and concerned for my marriage, so I just told her the truth.
She was taken aback, I had kinda hinted to it in my teens, but everyone just assumed that because I got married, it wasn't true.I know I made her uncomfortable, but honestly, it feels kinda good to not come up with a lie on the spot. She can judge if she wants to, I'm happy, my husband is happy and that's what matters.
https://redd.it/1ivbqc0
@asexualityonreddit
I’m disgusted by the fact that I’m having sex
I’ve been with my bf for a few years now. At the beginning of my relationship, we made love quite often. Now, the frequency has lowered which is totally normal. The thing is, i started to feel disgusted by myself having sex with my bf. Everytime we were done, i was so disgusted by myself to the point that we kinda stop having sex cause im never in the mood.
At the beginning i never had this problem, maybe because having sex was new to me (my bf was my first). It’s like a suddenly got the realisation of what’s like to have sex. I have the feeling that when my body is horny, its not really me, its just physically. It’s like my body and my brain are 2 different entities that don’t react the same way.
I never had any problems with self pleasure, for me it was more like an activity that i do when i’m bored.
I’m sorry i’m really bad at explaining but i don’t really know why i feel that way. I don’t necessarily think that i’m asexual but i didn’t know where to say that. So i hope i’m in the right place.
Thank u for reading
https://redd.it/1iv7f2k
@asexualityonreddit
Idk it just gets boring after a while.
https://redd.it/1iv5fxz
@asexualityonreddit
What am I?
As I approach 20 I'm starting to understand more and more about myself especially with exposure to other people and I'm seeing something interesting here. I can fall in love/crush with people...then fall out when I see them irl. I'll be like obsessed, I want to talk to them hear their voice, somewhat sexually attracted (not to their body, I can't explain) etc, but when irl factor comes I'm like. "Eh." I'm not a romantic person either, I haven't really been able to get around this, and I don't really care for romantic things like kissing and hugging...is this asexual, aromantic? What is this?
https://redd.it/1hvzerw
@asexualityonreddit
A partner companie is just more incredible than sex
https://redd.it/1hvzby1
@asexualityonreddit
Choose wisely...
https://redd.it/1hvukvd
@asexualityonreddit
The one thing that convinced you you're asexual...
Mine is that...I have never cared about my partners having sex with other people.
Because I care so little about sex that it extends beyond me not caring and also just to in general, not viewing much importance to it. I just wanted my partners to be open about it for safety and transparency.
I still don't fully get the big deal. Though I've come to accept that I just really don't care about sex the way most people do and that to most it is important and valued. When I figured that out is when I figured out I really am just asexual.
https://redd.it/1hvlc7d
@asexualityonreddit
I feel Like my asexuality is the reason I’m going to die alone
Ik ik boo fucking hoo. I should be stronger blah blah blah. But I really just want a nice companion to grow old with. Dating straight or gay people is fucking insufferable. Like I love the hanging out together, the inside jokes, the emotional intimacy, and I don’t mind the hand holding and sharing a bed, but when things start getting hot and heavy I just get so unhappy and it honestly just makes me grow to loathe them.
Ever since I’ve come to terms with it for myself (I’m not out to anyone except my best friend though :p) it’s been a nagging thought in the back of my head. I’m 22 now. What happens when I have to start my own life? I adore my friends, but with age I’ve found they’re more and more preoccupied with their boyfriends or girlfriends. My brothers and sister are all married. I just feel like I’m getting left behind because of this one stupid thing I literally can’t do anything about.
I’m scared. I think a part of it is I haven’t come to terms with the fact I’ll never have the life I imagined when I was a little girl, but it still really bothers me. Intelligently I know I’ll just be unhappy with straight or gay people. I’ve no hopes of finding companionship with an ace person cause they’re all freaks or live on the other side of the country. But that’s not fair.
I just wish I was normal. I am terrified of waking up in 10 years and realizing I’m living alone in a sad apartment or a burden to my parents. I feel pathetic typing this but this shit is hard :(
https://redd.it/1hviq6w
@asexualityonreddit
Saw this template for the first time in a while, and this was my first thought
https://redd.it/1hvl0kk
@asexualityonreddit
Which one of my Ace headcanons are the weirdest?
https://redd.it/1hve125
@asexualityonreddit
🤪🥲
https://redd.it/1hvf73s
@asexualityonreddit
Based on a certain Marvel game to have recently come out
https://redd.it/1hvctfw
@asexualityonreddit
I've only just now realized I'm the worst ace in history
I'm allergic to garlic. I cannot eat garlic bread. How do I do this lol
https://redd.it/1hv5rwj
@asexualityonreddit
The Fact People can See Me as Sexual Makes me Lowkey Not Want to Exist Anymore
The idea of people being sexually attracted to me disgusts me but I can't control what other people do. I hate it so much I feel like this world wasn't made for me and I don't want to be a part of it anymore. It feels degrading to imagine being seen this way in the world. It seems like every human relationship with people unrelated to you is tainted with sex. Fml
https://redd.it/1hv46y5
@asexualityonreddit
What even is sexual attraction??
I don't even know if this is the right place to ask this, but I don't think anyone else can explain it the way asexuals can. Allosexuals will probably think I'm dumb or something.
But I really need to understand what in hell is even sexual attraction. My girlfriend keeps asking if I feel attracted towards her but I'm both aroace (demiromantic gray asexual to be specific)
I really like her (I guess I should say demi romantically idk how do you say this) but I'm very much asexual (I said gray because I am probably aegosexual not completely sure tho)
I have told her about me being asexual but she is allosexual and I feel like she isn't exactly fully grasping it. And problem is I don't understand what she means when she says if I'm sexually attracted towards her.
Before realising I'm asexual I referred anyone who looked aesthetically beautiful to me as hot.
But I think I don't exactly understand what people mean by hot or sexy. Like do people look at other people, see their body, and think of sex? What exactly does it even mean to be sexually attracted?
I'm not sure I can explain my asexuality to my girlfriend unless I understand allosexuality in the first place.
So can someone please make me understand this in a way asexuals can understand??
PS: please don't slander my girlfriend. She is great and very understanding, and she doesn't pressure me into having sexual interaction if I'm uncomfortable. I'm okay with having sex with her cause she likes it and I'm sex indifferent so it doesn't always make me uncomfortable.
https://redd.it/1ivcq4n
@asexualityonreddit
My Ace and Aro colored dice sets
https://redd.it/1iva3f6
@asexualityonreddit
Am I asexual??
Hi, I’m 19 F and for like years I have been questioning if I am asexual or j have a really hard time with intimacy. I have had a few partners where we did have sex but I was never very interested in it especially, even thought in the moment i didn’t hate it either. I feel somewhat neutral about it.
When I am really heavily emotionally invested in someone, I don’t rlly mind sex that much, even though i don’t necessarily crave it. And I def want romantic connections. But outside of that and I don’t rlly think about or want to have sex.
When I am in a talking stage with someone, even if I like them, the thought of sexual intimacy repulses me. Every time that I have had sex with a person for the first time I had to be either rlly drunk or high to rlly go through w it. When I was younger when people were j making out and sex was more rare, the thought of kissing or making out with someone would rlly repulse me, I even got into situations where someone would start kissing me and I would be trying rlly hard to go along w it bc I liked them romantically but I rlly j had to straight up stop the whole thing bc of how uncomfortable it got. And then me and that person would grow apart bc they would feel like I didn’t like them.
I told my first serious boyfriend about my “intimacy issues” and he was at first very understanding and kind about it. But eventually he started demanding sex or he would act rlly annoyed w me or want to break up. I was kinda stupid so instead of realizing we weren’t compatible I would try to be more leanient w him… and then when we started becoming more sexual he would rlly pressure me and force himself on me. Eventually I j got used to it tho and forgot about the whole not rlly being into sex thing for a while, I kind of saw it as a compromise in order to be able to persue a romantic relationship. Anyways that relationship became pretty toxic and I’m glad it’s over. Ever since then I have had 2 other more significantish relationships where we would have sex but I was always super high. And breaking the ice would always give me extreme anxiety and anguish.
The stress that becoming intimate w someone brings me confuses me… I’m not rlly sure if I don’t want sexual relationships or if they j make me extremely anxious. Or if maybe I j don’t like men. I don’t rlly have a specific sexual preference but I’ve only had sex w men so far. So idk it could j be that. But even w other people I j rlly don’t think about sex much, and the thought of it tends to be more repulsive.
I don’t see a lot of people around me that feel the same way tho… everyone seems to like/want it and I haven’t rlly met someone who becomes anxious about it in this way. I don’t rlly know if this is j a phase, anxiety, or if I’m j not very sexually inclined. I also don’t know if it’s also bc the sexual relationships that I have had so far have been degrading/pressure influenced, or even a result of my sexual suppression due to being warned since I was a kid that older men were out to rape/hurt me and that I should be modest and hide myself in that way.
Idk… I’m j rlly confused can anyone help me figure out what to do?? I feel kind of hesitant in coming out bc I know a lot of people in my life won’t understand/accept me, and bc this can make my relationships a lot more complicated.
https://redd.it/1iv75ob
@asexualityonreddit
Does anyone else notice just how much sex overshadows everything else in society?
I'm not here to rant, if anyhting sometimes i'm rather speechless to know just how sex-centric society is. I have been reflecting on this and when you stop and think about it the number of things that society gives priority to simply because it has to do with sex is crazy
For example sometimes on some question subs I have posted specific questions that don't get attention at all and are usually followed by a single downvote (because reddit) while the sex question that has been recycled like for the 15th time in the month gets upwards of 1k upvotes simply because it's about sex.
Another thing i've noticed is how much people push creators to unnecessarily sexualize stuff, my moher is a writter and one time when she was on a professional writting course the professor insisted that at the very least you had to incldue an erotic subplot in your novels or that otherwise you wouldn't sell, this would mean most people only read novels looking for sexual themes which in my opinion is very weird considering there is already literature dedicated to that.
What are your thoughts? I don't criticize what other people like, it's just that sometimes I cannot help but feel completely alien to this society and it's erotic obsession
https://redd.it/1iv2jcc
@asexualityonreddit
Attraction rehearsal
https://redd.it/1hvyrvj
@asexualityonreddit
I am a rare Pokémon ✨️
https://redd.it/1hvvdjw
@asexualityonreddit
Kinda ace / aro vibes 🤗 Credit goes to: False Knees on Instagram and other platforms
https://redd.it/1hvruku
@asexualityonreddit
Society is too sexual & I hate it
It's to the extent of people doubt our authenticity. Every freaking song, movie and clothing is about that ughhh
https://redd.it/1hvnm6c
@asexualityonreddit
Alastor Ace Pride Art
https://redd.it/1hvlefa
@asexualityonreddit
I feel Like my asexuality is the reason I’m going to die alone
Ik ik boo fucking hoo. I should be stronger blah blah blah. But I really just want a nice companion to grow old and be a mean old lady with. Dating straight or gay people is fucking insufferable. Like I love the hanging out together, the inside jokes, the emotional intimacy, and I don’t mind the hand holding and sharing a bed, but when things start getting hot and heavy I just get so unhappy and it honestly just makes me grow to loathe them.
Ever since I’ve come to terms with it for myself (I’m not out to anyone except my best friend though :p) it’s been a nagging thought in the back of my head. I’m 22 now. What happens when I have to start my own life? I adore my friends, but with age I’ve found they’re more and more preoccupied with their boyfriends or girlfriends. My brothers and sister are all married. I just feel like I’m getting left behind because of this one stupid thing I literally can’t do anything about.
I’m scared. I think a part of it is I haven’t come to terms with the fact I’ll never have the life I imagined when I was a little girl, but it still really bothers me. Intelligently I know I’ll just be unhappy with straight or gay people. I’ve no hopes of finding companionship with an ace person cause they’re all freaks or live on the other side of the country. But that’s not fair.
I just wish I was normal. I am terrified of waking up in 10 years and realizing I’m living alone in a sad apartment or a burden to my parents. I feel pathetic typing this but this shit is hard :(
https://redd.it/1hvipin
@asexualityonreddit
You're valid
You are valid. It doesn't matter if you feel sexual, or not, you are still ace as much as you feel that you are.
I'm sorry to those that don't wish to be ace for many reason, but I want you to know that you're still valid too.
Asexuality (and even being aromantic) are ok, you're ok, and there's nothing to be ashamed off.
I'm proud of all of you.
From an ace girl. <3
https://redd.it/1hvh8z6
@asexualityonreddit
Stereotypes...
Found out yesterday that my one year younger cousin (20y/o) is getting married while I was making garlic bread at home and I think that pretty much sums up my sexuality.
https://redd.it/1hvbe5j
@asexualityonreddit
This ad in my email is so perfect it seems almost intentional.
https://redd.it/1hvbqvb
@asexualityonreddit
Asexuality is a superpower!
I realized I was asexual very late in life (late 40's, early 50's), and only after a lot of hurt and pain (and two failed marriages). You would think this fact would be easy to pin down, but it's absolutely not. I spent years thinking I was "broken" and that only pills like Viagra could help me try to have a normal sex life. The pills only made me feel more depressed, since they did sorta work - as they would help me to achieve the required stiffy (but they do nothing to address the fact that I simply did not want or need sex). I would grudgingly provide sex, because that was what the man is supposed to do, but my heart was never, ever in it.
This discovery of being asexual has brought SO MUCH peace to my life. (in previous years, pre-revelation, I had tried to off myself 3 separate times, including once drinking a quart of rat poison!) I have not had an incident of serious depression almost 15 years now! Along the way, I also realized that I was attracted romantically to both men and women, pretty much equally.
Just knowing that I am "normal" (as I was created) is a massive load off my mind and heart. It gives me such confidence in social situations, that I call it my superpower. I can walk into a bar filled with gorgeous people and not want to have sex with any of them. I see fellow humans, both men and women, without the filter of sexual desire (which I think complicates things a great deal)
I also don't spend the massive amounts of time and energy in dating or "the hunt" for a partner. I'm at peace with the fact that I may well be single until I die. I see so many people caught up in the dating machine, seeking partners, sex, etc. It takes up all of their spare time and energy. I don't concern myself with that, instead focusing on strengthening my existing relationships with good friends and chosen family. My superpower has helped me to make some very amazing, intense friendships, and close relationships.
I feel like I'll probably find a partner eventually. I'm open to it! I make a very good partner myself, which is why both of my wives toughed it out for so long in sexless marriages towards the end. As I get older, potential partners are also aging, and folks sometimes adjust their desire for sex as a "mandatory partner requirement" as they get into their sunset years. I'm not a bashful person, and I love meeting new people and participate in all kinds of social activities. I made a vow that I would never get into a relationship again without being 100% up front about my asexuality, so I'm excited to find a partner with whom I can be 100% myself.
FYI, I love a good makeout session. I love intimacy. I might even have sex on rare occasion with one of these potential partners. I just don't *care* about sex. I realize this reduces my partner pool a great deal and that's fine. If I find a partner, he or she will be that much more cherished for their rarity.
Having total clarity and peace of mind about sexuality is just something I see SO MANY normies struggle with. I am thankful every day that I don't have this compulsion and "need" which I have watched many a man do awful things in service of. Seriously, I was in the Navy in the 80's...I saw men do things which would horrify you.
I "came out" many years ago and it was the best decision I ever made.
After a lifetime of thinking I was "broken", it turns out I had a superpower the whole time!
https://redd.it/1hv0sea
@asexualityonreddit
I love my partner to death but I think I’m starting to hate sex
My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years, they have a pretty high sex drive and tells me that we could be doing it all day if they wanted, I personally only ever “want” it every other week or so, but I do my best to fulfill their needs because that’s soemthing you do for and with your partner imo at least. After having sex or even thinking about it or specific moments, I get so grossed out, and icky and after we do it I’m almost running to the shower to clean off. I love my partner so so much and our intimate time is wonderful even without sex. We truly are happy with each other but I feel like it’s unfair to keep this from them.
I almost wanna tell them to go hookup with other people cause I trust that they love me just as much and I literally don’t care.
I also had asexuality in the back of mind for years but like most things I felt ok and out of the way ”rules” and feelings that most people have.
Any advice would be great! Thank you all:)
https://redd.it/1huzhfn
@asexualityonreddit