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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
Representation
I know there's not much to the title, sorry.
I just feel left out in the world, if that makes sense. Is there any books, shows, or movies with asexual reproduction. I would like to see more, I want to feel seen. There are small things here and there, but I want something that actually takes the time to do it
https://redd.it/1k1uwpg
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Toughie
https://redd.it/1k1lumb
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Why are people saying this
https://redd.it/1k1b14g
@asexualityonreddit
I don't call myself asexual
I don’t really have any interest in sex at the moment- I know that for certain. But I’m worried that if I ever find out that Im not ace, that I’d be making it more difficult for other asexuals to be accepted.
I used to openly identify as asexual back in High school and middle school. In Middle school, most of my friends were either somewhat uncomfortable or openly accepting. Ironically, the time period where I was going through the height of my insecurity, was the time period where I was most confident in my sexuality.
In Highschool, I met new people. They were generally a lot more LGBTQ+ friendly, as many people were openly part of the community at this point.
But with the friend group I found myself in, it felt like I had to constantly justify myself. I'm a reserved person, and one of the people closest to me at the time seemed convinced that I was repressing feelings.
Eventually, this friend of mine made the implication that were I not open about my sexuality, that there'd be a point in time where I'd wouldnt be able to hold myself back. I do not remember her exact wording, as it's been a few years now. The original implications left me horrified. Thinking on it after, it's more likely she was worried that I'd put myself in a bad situation instead.
Either way, it was that moment in particular that struck me like a ton of bricks, and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since. The idea of something awful happening, and the genuine concern she had on her face made me feel sick
To stop this argument from happening every time, I just began reffering to myself as Pansexual. Even if I was only Panromantic, most people talking to me accepted that so much more easily.
The fact that I mislabel myself for the sake of convenience doesnt necessarily bother me. I see labels as a tool of expression more than anything else.
It's the fact that I feel the need to explicitly hide the fact that I feel as though "asexual" is the description that best suits me.
I hate this feeling. I despise the fact that I've gone from being openly out, to slowly hiding my sexuality to avoid further confrontation. And I keep wondering— if these people turn out to be right and ace ISN'T the label for me, then I'd be reinforcing those ideas people had of me.
Even then, I've been using other labels for long enough at that I feel like I shunned myself out of this community.
It's not something that I ever flaunted because I never felt the need to. I dont really talk about my interests, let alone my sexual orientation because people hardly need to know. Nor is this something I'm asked often. So thankfully, the topic rarely comes up in my day to day life.
But I just feel awful. I worry about how drastically my self image has shifted, and even more so the way I present myself to others.
Even when I get more comfortable, the memory of my friend basically saying I'm lying to myself snakes its way back into my mind, and the progress is undone in an instant.
I understand that these barriers are one created in my own mind, but it genuinely feels like I can't. And years of altering who I am to be more digestible feels like something I can't take back.
I don't really know what to do. Admittedly, it makes me feel lonely more than anything else. Like I won't be accepted. Even as I met other people, this fear has not gone away. And due to my aforementioned reserved nature, I find it hard to find the moment where I can say "I'm ace!", and the cycle continues.
I'm working on readopting the label— at least in private for now— but it's something that is much slower than I'd like it to be. I feel as though I lost my right to call myself ace. Hell, this whole situation makes me feel entirely disconnected from the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, and makes me feel as though I have nowhere to go.
This isn't really me seeking advice of any kind, as I'm unsure what advice could be offered in a case like this. But something I never got the chance to properly talk about and desperately needed to get off my chest.
I apologize for
we actually talk about a lot of stuff, but i think this a funny difference between us
https://redd.it/1k1ani3
@asexualityonreddit
Great Advice 🤗
https://redd.it/1k19zs2
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Do you think (some) people are purposefully ignorant when it comes to asexuality?
https://redd.it/1k0zgz5
@asexualityonreddit
I think my boyfriend is asexual and I don't know how to ask him
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. He's the second time I've been intimate with someone and so far it's been great.
The problem is that I don't think that it's the same for him.
Before being with me he slept with other 2 girls and described it as a way to gain a certain "reputation" so he could fit in with his peers, but never actually enjoyed it.
The first months we were together he said he didn't understand what the whole deal with sex was and that he even got bored many times, he doesn't feel much on his penis and it's actually like a chore for him more than a joyful activity.
I was obviously hurt by this and initially thought I was the problem, then he clarified that he's always been like this and that maybe his penis broke from too much wanking?? It was a lot to take honestly.
But I think this goes deeper than this and that he should actually question if he's asexual or not. I don't see him enjoying sex the way I do and he keeps joking or just straight up saying he doesn't like sex and that he finds it dull, so what the hell?
I told him to go abstinent for a while, because I don't like to have sex if he's not enjoying it. I don't have a problem as long as he's comfortable with it, but I really need to understand him.
https://redd.it/1k15aic
@asexualityonreddit
I'm 19 and never felt an urge to have sex
Hey, so I'm 19, male and straight. I do masturbate, there are women that i find hot, but I've never been in the situation when I wanted to have sex with one. I did kiss couple times, but it wasn't much of a pleasure to me, more of a thing I wanted to do not to stand out from the others. I've also never been in a relationship and never had a crush on anybody. All of my friends had some relationships and each year passing I just feel weirder and weirder that I completely miss out on this.
Could I possibly be asexual and aromantic? Or perhaps it's maybe some fear of getting intimate and close with people? I'm really lost
https://redd.it/1k108c8
@asexualityonreddit
Am I asexual?
I don’t feel sexual attraction and don’t feel anything sexual when having sex, am I asexual?
https://redd.it/1k1168c
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Admitting to hating queer people
https://redd.it/1jub575
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Thought this fit here
https://redd.it/1ju8hdo
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Mattxiv response to JK Rowling
https://redd.it/1ju37k0
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I found more ace yarn!!!
https://redd.it/1jtz4hl
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I wish this was my size 😭
https://redd.it/1jtnkyv
@asexualityonreddit
i would like to coin this term.
https://redd.it/1k1qqea
@asexualityonreddit
New favorite shirt....
https://redd.it/1k1he7j
@asexualityonreddit
any grammatical or spelling errors. If you did make it this far, then thank you for taking the time out of your day to hear me out.
https://redd.it/1k1gd6x
@asexualityonreddit
they added 1 more a to be first in alphabetical order
https://redd.it/1k1aju6
@asexualityonreddit
Help, I Need to Stop Feeling Like a Freak
I’m a woman in my forties. When I was 18-25, I was very sexually active and on reflection this was an impulse brought about by very low self esteem. I was married 26-41, we had a son. My ex-husband was very controlling, emotionally & mentally abusive. When I got out of the marriage, I felt freedom I’d never felt before. I tried dating but the sexual aspect of being with a man physically repulsed me. I have no interest in sex. I like being alone and not having to deal another person’s sexual expectations.
I started dating a man six months ago. It’s the nightmare scenario: he’s a genuinely good guy who’s very kind…but his sexual appetite is constant. This is a 45 year old with the libido of an 18 year old. He wants it multiple times a day and he has a lot of kinks. I tried to open my mind and try, for him, to see if I could come around. But now I have anxiety about having to submit to sex every time I’m with him. I don’t like being alone with him because he’s constantly trying to engage. I’m not even a little bit interested. The act itself disgusts me.
I told him in the beginning that I do not and cannot match his interest in sex and all things sex-related. But he’s very focused on sexualizing me. He buys me sexy outfits and mentions that I don’t wear them (I’d rather wear my pjs). He keeps bringing up me wearing a thong bikini, and I’m like “that is not who I am, I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing that” but he keeps bringing it up. It seems more and more like he expects me to be a sex object that prances around for his titillation. This prospect is unacceptable to me and I’m planning to talk with him about all of it this weekend.
For about three years I’ve looked back on my life and realized how little fulfillment I’ve gotten from sex. I’ve never enjoyed it, I’ve never wanted it. I started seriously considering that I might be asexual. I could happily live the rest of my life without sex. But this thought kind of scared me: there must be something wrong with me if this is the case. Hence my current situation, trying to be something and someone I’m not in order to not be alone or feel like a freak.
Please educate me. This is the first time I’ve posted here and the first time I’ve shared a lot of this. I need help from people who know.
https://redd.it/1k1bwws
@asexualityonreddit
Research survey
A friend of mine asked me to post this here:
Hi, my name is Rosie.
Im a medical student from Austria and I’m writing my bachelor thesis on asexuality, attachment and stigma/discrimination in medical settings and need your help.
For my thesis I created an online survey which I now need participants for - so if you see this and have 10 minutes to spare I’d greatly appreciate it.
My study has been approved by the ethics committee and data is collected completely anonymously.
To participate you must
* identify as on the asexual spectrum
* be over the age of 18
* speak English
Please the link below and fill out the online survey: https://sushii.limesurvey.net/699284
Please als feel free to share this survey with other people who might be interested in participating.
Thank you so much in advance for your contribution 🖤🩶🤍💜
https://redd.it/1k19cv4
@asexualityonreddit
My (23M) mom doesn’t like that my girlfriend (22F) is asexual.
Hello. As you can tell by the title, that my mom isn’t the biggest fan of my girlfriend being asexual. I’m not ace/asexual myself, but I respect her being asexual and I was aware of her orientation before we started dating.
(For additional context, my mom is a baby boomer and she also did not know what asexuality was until last week. She’s also a devout Christian. In and of itself, that isn’t bad, but she believes my gf will go to hell because of her orientation, which is weird).
It rubbed me the wrong way because she said I should leave her and date someone “normal”. I’m aware asexuality isn’t normal in the sense that allosexuals are the majority, but it isn’t a deal breaker for me personally. She’s indifferent about sex and isn’t repulsed by it, she just doesn’t feel the attraction which is fine with me as long as there is romantic attraction (Thankfully, that is mutual between us). What really rubbed me the wrong way is that my mom said she’ll set up a blind date (She tends to make empty threats but I still was not a fan of it). I know only the opinions of our relationship that matters is that of my gf and I. We’re both happy in the relationship but I don’t want my gf and mom to have any negative interactions in the future. I genuinely hope my gf and I last.
Tldr: My mom thinks I should leave my gf because she’s ace (I don’t plan on leaving).
https://redd.it/1k12oa0
@asexualityonreddit
Which attraction(s) do you enjoy feeling the most towards someone? (Romantic, platonic, alterous, sexual, sensual, intellectual, etc.)?
https://redd.it/1k13x6c
@asexualityonreddit
From the community that brought you garlic bread:
https://redd.it/1k13n7n
@asexualityonreddit
Asexual representation saved my life
In response to a certain TERF attacking our community, I just wanted to share how learning about asexuality saved my life.
I was sexually active for around 8 years, and the large majority of it was just done to me instead of something I was happily participating in.
I was in an abusive marriage, and my lack of sexual desire was used against me constantly, even though I was letting him have sex with me whenever. But I was made to feel like a horrible, evil, selfish person because I never really initiated. (Even tho like I said, we were having sex DAILY, but apparently that wasn't enough.)
When I left him, I knew I had pretty significant sexual trauma and assumed that's why I never sought it out. Then it had been years that passed without me ever even thinking about sex. I wanted a partner and a relationship, but assumed that sex was a requirement so I avoided any human contact like the plague. I felt so insanely lonely, and like I could never experience any intimacy because I felt so broken.
Eventually, I don't remember what, but I saw something online about asexuality. It caused me to do a deep-dive about sexual desire, romantic attraction, libido, etc. Every single thing I read about asexuality rung true for me. The moment that I realized I was not broken, there wasn't any trauma I needed to "fix" in order to be loved, I sobbed. The RELIEF I felt from finally understanding I never had to have sex again, was so overwhelming in the best way. (I want to clarify that NO ONE has to have sex regardless of if they're asexual, but this specific realization was very significant for me)
Flash forward to now, I am in the most loving, fulfilling, affirming, safe and beautiful partnership I ever could've asked for. My partner is also asexual, and I have NEVER experienced such deep emotional intimacy ever in my life. Me just being there is enough. I feel so immensely loved and cared for, and I NEVER have to sacrifice my own comfort.
I honestly don't know what I would've done if I hadn't discovered asexuality. I was 100% convinced I would be alone forever, and that I could never be loved fully without sex. It saved me from spending the rest of my life hurting myself in order to feel loved.
I am so immensely proud to be asexual, and I hope to be an example for someone one day, just as so many of you helped me when I needed it ❤️
https://redd.it/1judn58
@asexualityonreddit
True story
https://redd.it/1ju997t
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Are you ever afraid of not having somebody close?
I have really really close friends. Probably going to move in with them in the next few years but i have one thought it my mind. What happens when all my friends start dating people. Get married. As close as i am with my friends i don’t think they really understand how much i love them. Im terrified of being left behind after it all and not having someone as close as others are in relashinship is something Im very fearful of. Sorry if this was too deep for this mostly light hearted community…i just cant stop thinking of it
https://redd.it/1ju3c9e
@asexualityonreddit
my aunt tried to “correct” my asexuality
When I was around 12 years old I realized I was asexual, but didn’t know the term for it. I came out to my aunt who told me “it’s not normal not to want sex”. She took me to the bathroom and told me that touching myself would feel good and I should try it. She then left the bathroom. I started to do what she said but then got really uncomfortable and when I went to leave the bathroom she was waiting outside the door and asked “how was it?”
For a long time I was ashamed of my sexuality, or lack thereof, because of my aunt. I feel really hesitant to tell people I’m asexual because of the judgement. Since it’s asexuality visibility day I wanted to make this post to say that even though I’m hesitant to share, I’m proud to be asexual and there’s nothing abnormal about it.
https://redd.it/1ju08e0
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Ace researcher explains why 31% of people think asexuality can be “cured” —My Interview with Yasmin Benoit
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/04/ace-researcher-explains-why-31-of-people-think-asexuality-can-be-cured/
https://redd.it/1jtx4f5
@asexualityonreddit
Let's GGGOOOOOO!!! We got another one!!!
https://redd.it/1jtrtoz
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