Telegram-канал asexualityonreddit - Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit: Adults only

Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit

20 Apr 2025 23:20

The "Loneliness Epidemic" and the Focus on Sex

This is something I've been seeing a lot lately and I'm curious if anyone else has the same experience. There's been a lot of discussion regarding The Loneliness Epidemic and the effects it has on people, how people move past it, larger solutions etc. One of the biggest things I consistently see come up is the "need" for sex.

I want to start this off by saying, this isn't going to be, "asexual judgemental of allosexuals for not being ace." This is a pattern of behavior I've seen that I believe is hindering the social lives and general fulfillment of thousands of people who are part of the Loneliness Epidemic.

The idea of the Loneliness Epidemic has been a heated topic of discussion in online spaces for a while now. There have no doubt been many suggestions that would reduce the rates of lonely people world wide; pull away from the internet, reconnect with friends/family, pick up hobbies, volunteer, go outside, etc etc.

The only problem with this is that most of this advice is ignored by the people who need it the most (or at the very least, the people I've seen complain about it the most.) For some reason, many lonely people will hear these things and think, "no, it's my lack of sex life that's making me lonely." Obviously, I cannot understand this beyond understanding it's a form of intimacy for many people. But these very vocal individuals seem completely unwilling to even consider that the many other (proven) solutions may make them feel better, even if only in the short term.

Now, I understand that for many, companionship may be what they're directly after. But a lot of these discussion bearly touch on the actual relationship aspect of these dynamics. Maybe, I should be assuming this is what they're referring to? But I don't know. I was just under the belief that if someone was more concerned with the relationship they wouldn't be so open about things like:"I'm still a virgin at x age" or "I don't want to lose my virginity to x type of person" or "why are you complaining about being lonely, you have so many more (sexual) options."

It's really frustrating attempting to have productive discussions with these people. You tell them things like, "Try to rekindle your love for an old hobby. Schedule more free time to be spent with friends and family. Pick up a new hobby based around something you're interested in. Build bonds with others in spaces of shared intrest," and they don't want to hear it. I get that a lot of times, it's easier to just mire in your own sadness rather than look for a solution. But, that doesn't change the fact that the only solution many of these people are willing to consider is "sex/relationships will solve all my loneliness issues."

In my personal experience, I've had a hand full of people reference the ace flag on my avatar with malice. One of the comments that sticks out is "getting advice about relationships from an asexual is like asking a vegan to teach you how to cook a steak."

I just feel like if a lot of these people looked inward at what they're truly after, gave the advice they received a chance, and actually worked to better themselves, their progress would be easier to feel. I don't know. At the end of the day I'm just a stranger on the internet going from day to day just like them.

I'd love to hear any feedback you have to offer. Any experiences you have had either directly or indirectly with the Loneliness Epidemic. If you've noticed this pattern too, and If so, what spaces.

https://redd.it/1k3lqp2
@asexualityonreddit