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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
just saw someone (most probably) unknowingly have an asexual pride flag phonecase
i was at the engagement party of my cousin and one of her friends that attended had an asexual pride coloured phonecase, knowing how my country is very queerphobic, and that the person that had the phonecase was very much religious looking (cousin is also religious), I'm 99% sureshe couldn't have gotten it for the purpose of ace pride, the seller and her probably thought it was just pretty colours 😭, but it was my first time ever seeing anything asexual related irl and i wanted to share that! (ALSO THIS MEANS OUR FLAG IS PRETTY YAYAYAYAY!)
https://redd.it/1fkzl5u
@asexualityonreddit
Figuring out if this person is ace?
There's a kid on my bus. I liked the way their style and wanted to befriend them, but just couldn't think of something to say. Just complimenting wouldn't go anywhere.
But now I see that they have a bead bracelet with ace colors.. but to be fair, my school's colors are the ace flag. Maybe they have school spirit?
I made a bracelet similar to what they have, the difference is that the white bead they have it transparent instead of opaque iirc. It was so I could potentially have another ace person see it and (maybe) approach me.
So I have a conversation layout.. that could work. I need opinions on it.
----
Excuse me, I like your bracelet. Did you make it yourself?
✅ Yes - "Wow! I made one too!"
❌ No - "Oh, that's cool, I have one just like it!"
⚪️ Then I’ll show them my bracelet.
Does it have any specific meaning to you? (Did you get/make one based on the school colors? || Is it based on a flag?)
✅ Ace Flag — "So you're ace? Omg I've met another person who also is!"
❌😭 School Colors — "Oh cool, are you in SGA? (Student Gov)"
School Colors Route
❌ No — "I understand.. I wanted to run, but I don't know enough people to vote for me."
✅ Yes — "Wow, that's such a creative way of showing school spirit.. the senior SGA hasn't thought of that." (A way of telling the year I'm in.)
⚫️ For the school colors route, I'll continue the conversation off the top of my head if they still seem interested.
Ace Flag Route - Are you in GSA?
✅ Yes — "When do you all meet? I haven't been able to see the club list yet."
❌ No — "Ah, I'm not either. I wanted to join so I could potentially meet other aces though."
"Also, I didn’t say this, but it's nice to meet you. I'm Name, what's your name?"
From that, I would want to try asking for an SNS (social) to connect, but not in the most direct way.
Does this sound like a good plan?
https://redd.it/1fkt757
@asexualityonreddit
I've been wearing ak rings for about ten years now and I love seeing them on the rise again lately.
https://redd.it/1fkr02w
@asexualityonreddit
Oh the irony
https://redd.it/1fkoo2k
@asexualityonreddit
One day, our dreams will become reality…
https://redd.it/1fkkv6e
@asexualityonreddit
the only kinda sex i want
https://redd.it/1fkfayd
@asexualityonreddit
Representing at work
https://redd.it/1fk7kby
@asexualityonreddit
When is the best time to mention my asexuality to a match on a dating app?
I want to be upfront and mention it within the first few messages but unsure if it will be too soon.
https://redd.it/1fkdems
@asexualityonreddit
Idk how to get over rejection
Hey, throwaway for obvious reasons and hoping nobody I know frequents this sub. I’m 21, biromantic/ace. I’m definitely not aro but I very, very, very rarely experience romantic attraction to people to the point where I want to go out with someone. It’s happened exactly 3 times in my life (and frankly one was a bullshit online relationship so who cares about that, barely counts) and I’m sick of being alone and have been falling in love with my aro/ace friend for ~a year and a half and finally asked her out yesterday, I wasn’t expecting a yes but was hopeful for one . We get along great, we’re both total nerds, STEM, same interests, talk easily, etc. and she said she’d think about it which I was fine with. When she turned to walk away she gave what seemed to be a really genuine smile and I really thought it was a sign she had wanted me to ask and it was gonna be a yes, but a few hours later she messaged that she’s really not looking to date rn. Those few hours in between were honestly the happiest I’ve felt in a really long time and I evidently was not equipped to deal with a no.
Idk what to do. I’m not new to being depressed but this is the worst I’ve been in a while and I feel like this was my only chance to actually be with someone who gets me. My heart aches for her and we basically haven’t talked since and I just feel like I fucked up. I don’t know what to do. Fuck. It hurts so bad. I've never asked anyone out before this and can't imagine myself wanting to again any time remotely soon, nevertheless being able to.
I think one of the major things is that being with her/the thought of being with her is quite literally the only thing I had to look forward to. I have 5-6 years of grad school ahead of me after this year which is probably gonna suck if I even get into a program, my current housing situations pretty awful, the job market is complete shit for what I want to do, and I’m incredibly pessimistic and nihilistic with regards to current events. I genuinely have no other source of hope.
https://redd.it/1fkb254
@asexualityonreddit
Has this happened to you
https://redd.it/1fk8hjj
@asexualityonreddit
Question: Instead of being a "closeted" ace can we be "refrigerated" aces since that's where we keep the cake? 🍰
I'm sorry for this joke. I have pain meds from a minor procedure in my system and zero filter at the moment.
https://redd.it/1fk4fs3
@asexualityonreddit
Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
​
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
​
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
​
​
* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
​
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
​
**Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?** Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
​
[**More signs that you are Aro:**\](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro/)
​
[**Honeymoon Phase:**\](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
​
[**Types of attraction (might be incomplete):**\](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/
https://redd.it/1fk3iyq
@asexualityonreddit
Always nice when most people have no idea what they are talking about. ( a while back i got downvoted to heck because i said some ace people can like sex and watch🌽)
https://redd.it/1fjyi46
@asexualityonreddit
Is this normal?
27f demiromantic asexual virgin. I only came out as asexual 2 days ago. Is it normal to feel sad and embarrassed about being classed as an “old” virgin? I have felt scared about having sex but not because I’m worried about it and want to do it, I’m scared about it because it’s something I don’t want to do yet feel like to be accepted by society, I have to do.
https://redd.it/1fjw5wo
@asexualityonreddit
Call for participants for survey on stressful experiences and willingness to disclose personal information.
To participate you must be at least 18 years old and identify as a sexual minority.
The purpose of this research study is to examine factors that predict willingness to share personal information with others and experiences with stressful events related to sexual orientation. If you consent to participate in this study, you will be asked to provide a self-introduction, and answer a series of questions, including demographic questions, questions related to willingness to disclose information and questions related to stressful experiences.
The entire survey is estimated to take 30 minutes to complete and participation in this survey is completely voluntary. You will not receive compensation for participating in this study.
To begin, please click the URL link below.
Thank you!
Link to study
Principal Investigator: Jared Edge (jarededge@oakland.edu), Doctoral Candidate at Oakland University
Faculty Advisor: Jennifer Vonk (vonk@oakland.edu), Professor at Oakland University
https://redd.it/1fjuw1f
@asexualityonreddit
Hi yes my skin has cleared and life expectancy increased from everyone's beautiful and amazing pride posts 😍🥰🥺🥺🥺 that's it, that's the post. A happy and safe pride, all!!! 🖤
https://redd.it/1fkys5e
@asexualityonreddit
Family making borderline aphobic comments about (possibly) ace cousin.
My cousin is in her mid-20s but is currently in her first serious relationship… and the family seem to really be pressuring her to do… it… even though she clearly seems uncomfortable with the idea….
They seem concerned and puzzled as to why the two of them haven’t done it yet- they keep asking her questions like “what’s putting you off”? And I just think, she doesn’t owe anyone sex, just because she’s in a relationship with them.
You can have a perfectly healthy romantic relationship with someone without sex… they keep trying to convince her that this guy’s the wrong guy for him because they haven’t done it yet… what I want to know is why do any of them care? She’s already somebody who gets fairly anxious anyway and now her family are trying to pressure her to do it… they think she’s being naive and immature, but I don’t think so- I genuinely think she’s just ace. I don’t know her partner so I can’t say for sure if he is- if he isn’t and she is, or if he’s trying to pressure her into anything, then it’s not a healthy relationship but so far, from when I’ve heard her talk about her partner, it seems to work fine… she worries about how he’ll think of her sometimes but that’s just her being anxious- I don’t think that’s anything to do with her reluctance to do it. The one thing my family have advised her which is somewhat decent is that if things don’t work, she can always break it off… though this seems to be her first love so she seems reluctant.
https://redd.it/1fkr6lz
@asexualityonreddit
Doing an LGBTQ+ inclusivity training for work and the definition for "asexual" is wrong!!!
As part of annual professional development, my job is having everyone go through an inclusivity training that is mostly focused on transgender and making an inclusive workplace for people who may not agree with the gender they were assigned at birth. The training is basically a pre-recorded video and then after it's done, a short quiz. Well at one part early on in the video, they give definitions of all the letters in the LGBTQIA+ acronym and they say asexual is "people who have no desire for sex". Grr, this is so frustrating! (being autistic with a strong sense of justice is hard when you're also part of a lesser-known sexuality! xD) I am so tempted to shoot a message to the person who made the training video (they gave us his email so if there were technical problems playing the video or whatever we could ask him for help) and be like "Please fix the definition of asexuality because it's people who feel little to no sexual attraction but we can still have desire for sex just fine!" WIBTA if I did this?
https://redd.it/1fkqczx
@asexualityonreddit
I’m in my 40s, married with 3 kids and just had an asexuality light bulb moment. I’m so confused.
Ok, so I (40s F), am having some sort of mid-life crisis/awakening. Not really sure exactly where my head is at. I was listening to a Reddit story recently, as I like to on my way to work, and a particular story regarding asexuality just set off a bit of a light bulb moment for me. I’m completely thrown.
Let me start at the beginning. I’m in my 40s, married 12 years, have 3 kids, and have been with my husband, who adores me, since my early 20s. Life has been pretty great, very vanilla, but I’ve always been ok with that.
My husband, to me, has a pretty high sex drive. Is horny often. Nothing crazy, but he really enjoys sex with me. I like that he still finds me attractive. Problem is, he is always asking me why I never initiate sex, why I always say no first, why he has to beg. I’ve expressed that I can’t understand why/how he is horny all the time, and that I’m just not, but I don’t think either of us really understands each other. I figure I just have a low labido. Most women my age (that I know) honestly don’t like sex, so I figured it’s just normal, and haven’t really thought too much more about it. Just do the wifey duty, have sex with your husband, and then the rest is all good… right?
So, as I mentioned, I listened to this story about asexuality and had a bit of a light bulb moment. I’ve never really wanted sex, never had an orgasm during sex, never felt the rush of desire, and when I ask myself what does it feel like to have sexual attraction, I can’t answer that question. I just don’t know what it feels like.
I have been turned on to the point of feeling horny twice that I can remember. Once in college, and once with my husband. Both were amazing, and fun, and I’d love to experience that feeling more, but I just don’t know how. I don’t find people sexy, I don’t get turned on or horny. I just don’t know how.
Having said all of that, I’ve had plenty of sex. From my research since my light bulb moment, I’m certainly not sex averse. I have enjoyed sex plenty of time, but generally it is because I’ve enjoyed seeing someone get turned on by me, I’ve enjoyed bringing pleasure to someone I care about, or I enjoy the emotional connection. Never because I’m horny and want to get off. I’ve had orgasms, but never through sex, only through stimulation before sex. I think back to my teenage years, and I can’t remember ever having sex for me, because I desired it, or because I found someone sexually irresistible.
Unfortunately, these days sex is a bit more of a chore. Something I need to do every week or two to keep my husband happy. After 3 breastfed kids, I feel repulsed every time he goes near my nipples, however he loves them so much 😢. Quickies make me feel like I’m being used, just a means to an end. I just can’t see the point, although I do love that it is over quickly. Sometimes we have sex that I enjoy, but not frequently enough to keep my husband happy. I need a bit more, some sort of emotional connection.
What do I do? How do I tell my husband about this new found knowledge? He is not very aware / accepting of peoples differences. He would just see this as a rejection or an excuse so I don’t have to have sex with him.
What do you think? Am I asexual? Demisexual? Should I tell my husband? How should I tell him? I’ve pretended this long, maybe I can just keep pretending for another 20 years… I often think I’m not trying hard enough to enjoy sex. Maybe I don’t love my husband enough, maybe I should try being with women, but none of that really feels right.
If anyone has been through this, or has advice, I would love to hear. TIA.
https://redd.it/1fkloys
@asexualityonreddit
Is there a word like lust but for romance?
Is there a specific word, verb or adjective, you can feel where it’s an overwhelming urge to hug, kiss or spend time with someone in a romantic way? People say they feel lustful when it’s an overwhelming urge to have sex with another, a strong desire to copulate with a specific person, but what’s the word for the romantic equivalent?
Like I lowkey feel lust towards my significant other in the sense that I want to hug them, kiss them and lull them to sleep. I want to hear him talk about something he loves, want to feed him or cook his favourite foods and I yearn to touch him and cuddle. I have this overwhelming desire to just be connected, sharing environment, skin and thoughts. I feel like lust has intensity of being an unbridled form of sexual attraction, but what’s the equivalent for the unbridled form of romantic attraction?
https://redd.it/1fkee4g
@asexualityonreddit
What am i?
I can have a crush on someone and like likeing someone but i hate the idea of dateing, kissing and intimacy what do i do i cant figure myself out? Any advice?
https://redd.it/1fkftb7
@asexualityonreddit
These are my expectations in a relationship
https://redd.it/1fkdod2
@asexualityonreddit
I lost my virginity for my own protection.
Now I'm safe from being sacrificed in a blood ritual.
https://redd.it/1fk7ab7
@asexualityonreddit
I need help with a definition
I know there are sex-repulsed aces out there who might not want to read this, so I'm just putting it out there. It isn't super crude or anything but still I just don't wanna make anyone uncomfortable.
So I have said I'm ace for a while now but I need to know if this is sexual attraction. Like I see people's sex parts as attractive but like I am not super attracted to people, for example, if they are wearing lingerie or something like that. I find girls more attractive at least partially clothed, naked is kinda ugly to tell the truth. Like it's beautiful but ugly at the same time.
Basically I'm asking if this is just arousal and my teenage hormones or sexual attraction. I don't understand the definition of sexual attraction. I am not interested in sex (I'd rather break my arm than do that) and AMAB (though I'm gonna build up the courage to come out as nonbinary at some point, not that it matters in this situation). I feel my eyes and stuff sometimes wander to parts but like I can control it and I do get horny and stuff around girls sometimes but there isn't a thought of sex or anything. Like its an "I'm attracted but not attracted" thing I can't explain.
Sorry if this makes no sense I'm just kinda confused
https://redd.it/1fk8v4t
@asexualityonreddit
Am I asexual or simply no one has liked me
Just that like I'm in my late teens and not once has anyone been remotely interesting in me romantically... I'm realizing this hasn't happened to anyone in my friend circle surely me being ace doesn't have to do with it and come on I'm not unattractive nor mean (imo)
This is just a little vent:)
https://redd.it/1fk3q3e
@asexualityonreddit
picklez:
https://redd.it/1fk3pus
@asexualityonreddit
even in a class about sexual motivation being ACE is still not seen
https://redd.it/1fjyueb
@asexualityonreddit
wrong audience reddit lmao
https://redd.it/1fjxhp4
@asexualityonreddit
Sex gets no warning
Just something I’m still salty about from my college days. For context this was a foreign language class and we were watching a movie in class to later analyze it. It was rated R, obv we’re all adults. My professor paused the movie and gave us a warning about a particularly gory scene, which was considerate and appreciated. But five minutes earlier in the film there was a full on sex scene which had zero warning at all. Just rubbed me the wrong way that there was no warning whatsoever about the sex (and it came out of left field) but there was for the violence.
https://redd.it/1fjrss3
@asexualityonreddit
Begging y'all to flair your posts properly
I don't care if you want to post about how much you love jerking off but would it kill you to flag the post as NSFW or under the sex-favourable tag? Like dude. Rule 3. Would it kill you to be even mildly considerate of the other people in the sub? I'm not even telling hornyposters to stop hornyposting, just flair your damn posts.
Edit: clarified wording so people can stop putting words in my mouth
https://redd.it/1fjrofp
@asexualityonreddit