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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
Are you bad at picking up on flirtation, what do you do when spotted too late?
I have, once again, realised it was flirtation too late. I work in a community of amazing, generous people, so in my defence, the environment may have helped obscure this one person’s intent.
It started with crowd funding the money I needed to complete my passport application. This person instigated it, but many awesome people chipped in.
Then this person invited me, last minute, to a family dinner at a fancy place and insisted on covering it. My portion may have been $60-$80.
Then the generosity started getting even more extravagant recently.
They bought me books that must have cost well over $100.
They wanted me to play hockey at their birthday event but I’ve never played hockey and don’t own the gear. They found me “free” gear. Used hockey gear is at least $200.
Then they started a go-fund-me to send me to an international event that several affluent community members go to every year, them included.
I didn’t handle it well. I’m not used to this level of generosity. I didn’t know how to respond. I’m expecting the charity to fail and resolve itself.
I have told anyone who asks that it was “there thing they insisted on doing” and that I think it is ridiculous, albeit well meaning.
Their birthday is coming and they posted publicly that any birthday gifts for them should be diverted to funding my trip instead. I didn’t acknowledge it. I feel so embarrassed.
Everyone knows I have a long term partner. This person has never been sexually or physically inappropriate with me. I truly thought they were just a good friend before this crazy generosity. I feel stupid.
This person is a regular and liked fixture in the community. They do generous things for others too (but not to this degree).
I don’t know what to do.
https://redd.it/1hb82ac
@asexualityonreddit
OH MY GOD
https://redd.it/1hb3ic1
@asexualityonreddit
Idk who this, what the subreddits for or why it was recommended to me, but this persons Demi
https://redd.it/1hb2im3
@asexualityonreddit
Pick one😆
Would you rather?
Shmex? or super cute intimate cuddles? Or making out?
A cool friend/qpr or allo romantic partner? or a fellow aroace/ace/aro etc romantic partner?
Cake? or garlic bread? or invasion of a certain land?...
https://redd.it/1hat6r5
@asexualityonreddit
I fixed it
https://redd.it/1hateeg
@asexualityonreddit
QPP//QPR 🖤🩶🤍💜
https://redd.it/1hap9d2
@asexualityonreddit
I made a pin what do you think
https://redd.it/1hang33
@asexualityonreddit
It's hard to be ace in this society
Everything in society is so sex-based. Even our beloved movies and tv shows have unnecessary added sex-scenes making them seem like cheap crap. Every add and piece of media seems so geared towards encouraging people to have more sex. Since we live in a hypersexual world we definitely put sex on a pedestal. It's even getting to the point where if you simply don't have sex with anyone one you're seen as prudish and viewed the same as people who don't drink at parties. You seem less fun and maybe even like a buzz-kill. I always pictured myself as this fun guy and I feel less fun because I don't like having sex. I mean hormonally I do but logically it's just so dumb not to mention disgusting and unsanitary. I've known people in college who couldn't go a week without having a random hook-up and people who consider it a big life accomplishment to have a high body count yet somehow asexuals are the weird ones. I dunno it's just hard to be seen as valid for not wanting sex in such a primitive and backwards society. I wish that changed. I wish anything changed so people can accept each other for who they are and not assume so little of someone who simply isn't all that into sex.
https://redd.it/1hal9h4
@asexualityonreddit
If you saw this ring in the wild, would you think it's an ace ring or not? Since it's not a standard plain black ring, I'm wondering if people would recognise it. Would you?
https://redd.it/1haftpe
@asexualityonreddit
Books and shows to enjoy
Being asexual I find sex scenes irritating and distracting.
Can anyone suggest some books or movies, shows that do not have ‘romance’ in them?
Maybe there are some with romance but no sex.
Thanks
https://redd.it/1hac4vf
@asexualityonreddit
The "garlic bread or (insert fictional character here)" is getting so old and doesn't even apply to me or many other asexual people here. plus even if it was uninclusive as hell, it's just an old joke already, the punchline never changes.
https://redd.it/1h9xqtt
@asexualityonreddit
Asexuality & Substance
Does your attraction / libido / whatever else change when you’re drunk or high? I mean, like being repulsed turning into something else for an hour or so. Or just being a bit more curious.
I’m not saying I’m sure what I’d call that, but I just notice that I feel a bit less repulsed. It worries me because I kinda start thinking that I’m not really ace and blah blah blah—I know it’s probably not how it works but I’ve never came across such a discussion. What do you know, from resources or your own experiences?
P.S. Drugs are bad we know that alright?
https://redd.it/1ha767a
@asexualityonreddit
Does being asexual make it more likely that the person will end up being bi or pan?
This is probably a weird and/or stupid question, but it's kind of been on my mind for awhile for some reason. It may just be because I don't understand/don't experience sexual attraction, but I never really grasped the concept of being attracted to people because of their gender? To me you're just a person, and you're either attractive to me or not, whether it be aesthetically, emotionally, etc. Does it have to do with genitals for allosexual people? Or just a general preference in appearances? It's most likely because I am pan, but it's always been confusing to me.
https://redd.it/1gznbla
@asexualityonreddit
How would you describe yourself as accurately as possible?
Here's how I would:
On the Asexual spectrum, crossing the Aegosexual and Greysexual lines, but also with Demi-leanings.
= Demi-Greyaego Ace
(Also, sorry if the flair isn't accurate)
https://redd.it/1gzifj9
@asexualityonreddit
What is the appeal of sex if you’re asexual?
So I am not asexual. My parter is, though. They used to have a sex drive, but it went away after they started taking antidepressants. They aren’t on meds anymore, but their sex drive hasn’t come back.
My partner is completely okay with having sex if I want to. I never initiate though because it always makes me feel weird. It makes me feel like all of the focus is on me, and they don’t get anything from it at all. I feel kinda icky about it? Like they’re having sex to make me happy? I asked my partner about it, and they said they like making me feel good. They were saying the sex itself doesn’t make them feel pleasure, but giving me pleasure is the main driving force here. I genuinely still don’t understand the appeal. We haven’t had sex in 7 months because I feel weird about initiating. Does anyone have some insight on the other side of this? I’m having a really hard time understanding. I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m taking advantage or something idk
https://redd.it/1gzb0ys
@asexualityonreddit
:D
https://redd.it/1hb63qf
@asexualityonreddit
Ok so I suck at loom bands but I can make cake! (There's silver glitter but it's not showing on camera)
https://redd.it/1hb1t31
@asexualityonreddit
pyramid of asexual needs
https://redd.it/1hb01b4
@asexualityonreddit
Fixed the flag
https://redd.it/1hat9c5
@asexualityonreddit
Narratively superfluous
https://redd.it/1haqxpn
@asexualityonreddit
Can our mascot be a pirate?
https://redd.it/1hammxn
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve seen people on here recently share their Asexual OC’s so I decided to share mine too. Her name is Hester Praf.
https://redd.it/1haiwdj
@asexualityonreddit
Is there a spectrum to being ace?
So, I'm currently in a relationship and I feel sexual attraction toward my partner and we have sex, but sometimes I feel the exact opposite and am sex repulsed. I switch from both of these from time to time, and I was wondering if there's a spectrum to asexuality and if there's a label to what I'm experiencing?
https://redd.it/1hak9gx
@asexualityonreddit
I made a new flag cause I think the current one sucks, I’m colorblind so bear with me. Thoughts?
https://redd.it/1hafxo3
@asexualityonreddit
Are we asexuals lame in others eyes?
Based on personal experience i think in others eyes we actually are…
https://redd.it/1habt47
@asexualityonreddit
I really think literature of the entire human race care about sex too much
I consider myself as gray-ace. I don't feel sexual attraction often and I don't have urge for sex. I have a long term partner and sex is an okay part of my life that I can live with and live without.
So that's my background.
I was reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. First of all, it's a brilliant book. I chose this book because I spend more time reading female literature than male literature, and I thought it's worth diving into the other gender's literature as well. However, I really feel that it is such a great pity that I just couldn't relate to some parts of related to sex, and unfortunately sex is an overly important topic in this book. I wish I could understand it, and I wish I could know and feel how the writer was feeling like I was reading other books. I wish my experience with this book was more complete, yet I couldn't. The sexual content just feel so alienated to me. And I was wondering maybe it will be better if I start reading some other men's book. I read some part of Yukio Mishima and I just couldn't believe that what he wrote was his life. He talked about how masturbation is a most important thing in his teenagehood, and helped him to know himselves. My teenagehood was nothing like that.
Reading these books made me feel really weird. I never felt sorry for being demi-ace or anything, and I know other great writers who features more ace content, like Eileen Chang. But still, I feel kinda excluded by the conversation. They are speaking a language that I will never understand and it seems like a very important thing of their life.
https://redd.it/1ha95d6
@asexualityonreddit
Casual Ace/Demi erasure.
https://redd.it/1ha8r64
@asexualityonreddit
And they say you need a GF
https://redd.it/1gzmjna
@asexualityonreddit
People are okay with asexuality until you put a label on it.
Hi, my first post here!
In my experience, people seem to be more accepting of me being asexual if I don't say that I'm asexual. For example, if the topic of how I feel about sex comes up, I'll usually say something along the lines of, "I just have very little interest in sex", "I've never really understood the appeal", if I want to make things humorous, "I have better things to do with my time than worry about sex", and my new way of saying it so people shut up quicker, "I'm waiting until marriage".
Most people that I say these things to seem to accept it. Sometimes they'll ask deeper questions, which I'm perfectly okay with, and sometimes people with knowledge about identities will correctly guess that I'm asexual!
But, for the most part, as soon as I sum everything up by saying that "I'm asexual", people get really weird about it. It’s usually either a "why does everything nowadays need a label?" reaction, a "oh there's something wrong with you" reaction, or something else.
Overall, I'm just curious: has anyone else noticed this or felt this way?
https://redd.it/1gzjkon
@asexualityonreddit
I will never understand
https://redd.it/1gzbvbn
@asexualityonreddit