620
Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
How do you guys find someone that doesn’t care about sex
I feel like we live in such a sexualised society and it suck’s because I am not aromantic and I want to find love. I feel like being asexual (even if I’m not exactly sex repulsed) makes me unlovable. I am aware other asexuals exist but I’ve never met any of you guys in real life. It makes me feel so isolated and unlovable. As a queer woman also I feel like, lesbians put so much emphasis on “good sex” and it stresses me out.
For anyone that has a partner, how exactly did you tell them you’re ace and how do you guys work? I guess I just need some cheering up I suppose.
https://redd.it/1ix9zx9
@asexualityonreddit
I'm tired of the "I can fix you" BS
I'm an asexual that indulges in her kinks and lifestyle changes, I like to dabble in them and can get aroused, I enjoy kissing, hugging, cuddling, I like the romantic aspect of relationships rather than the sexual stuff. Some people I talk to in kink groups have noticed this and we talk back and forth and the question then comes to sex... Some can acknowledge I don't want sex then "Maybe you need the right person." Or "Why are you into kink, but Asexual?"
Hell my ex and I were talking about it and even he said "When we were together you were getting aroused, so why didn't you wanna have sex with me?" And had to repeat arousal and sexual desire are two different things. (Didn't know I was ace when we were dating)
I hate explaining every time I have no sexual desire, I am allowed to get aroused without the need or want for sex, I HATE hearing "Maybe one day we could." It's no a hard no. I wish I could be heard instead of invalidated or putting that pressure on me.
https://redd.it/1ix8b2c
@asexualityonreddit
Imagine someone who is not allosexual but is also not asexual?
What do we call this, or am i just making things up in my head?
https://redd.it/1ix8ay0
@asexualityonreddit
why is sex so important?
first time posting but ive been lurking for a while and wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere. it is really nice seeing sm people have the same feelings about sex. i am asexual, and ive only dated allosexual ppl. im still figuring out how to navigate my sexuality, but i just struggle to understand allosexual povs, i dont understand why sex is so important and always on their minds? what is frustrating is when i feel like its necessary for that feeling of intimacy. i don't think i am sex repulsed but i want to do it even less when people think it's the only way to feel close? sometimes i js feel like those type of dynamics are so vapid, i love being physically affectionate and close w someone but it never feels like that's what people actually want. a lot of people ive dated always assume cuddling leads to sex, or kissing leads to sex, and it really sucks we can't just enjoy eachother's company. does anyone else feel this way?
https://redd.it/1ix4k9l
@asexualityonreddit
Asexual and at a crossroads after a 5-year relationship with a sexually dissatisfied partner - sharing my personal story and seeking advice
I'm female, in my early 30s, and engaged to a man who isn't satisfied with our sexual life. Can't blame him - though I don't know where exactly my case falls on the asexuality spectrum, we've both admitted by now (to ourselves and to each other) that there's little compatibility in this aspect.
This man is my first long-term relationship and first sexual partner ever. Before we met, I was chronically single, afraid of intimacy, and friend-zoned people who were interested in me OR cut ties with them right before things were about to get sexual. I fell in love romantically, had work crushes, went out with guys every now and then - but ultimately kept to myself. There were a few people who hinted at my asexuality back then, but I didn't understand what the term meant and almost took it as an insult.
This relationship is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I am eager to do whatever it takes for us to stay together and walk hand in hand to the next chapters of life - but my partner doesn't feel happy sex-wise. For the first year or so, we were exploring each other, and I was unimpressed by the experience of sex - sometimes it felt good, but mostly meh. My thoughts were: "Is this what everyone is obsessed with? What people leave their families and move countries for? What they PAY FOR?"
I wanted a lot of tenderness, romance, and foreplay, and my partner expected lust and passion that come naturally, intensity, and openness to certain sexual practices. I am by no means a prude, and I'm always willing to use toys on him if they make him feel good, but for me, it's a big no-no. I remember the first couple of times he opened up about his dissatisfaction - his words hurt me a lot. He said that I'm deprived of sex appeal even when I'm wearing lacy lingerie and that he doesn't get aroused enough because there's no response. We tried short-term therapy for couples, and even though our therapist was fantastic, I felt like he was expecting her to fix me rather than help us find the middle ground.
After that, we've tried things in bed that I hadn't been open to before - can't say I didn't like them; some were even enjoyable, but he's a smart man and knows none of these is a natural impulse from my side. "You're like a student who's learned the lesson by heart but still has zero interest in the subject". And this is ultimately true - if someone told me I'd never have sex again, I'd be relieved as long as I can keep all the hugs. I even thought of an open relationship (openness for him, burden off my shoulders), but we both agreed that it wouldn't work for us. This issue keeps him hesitant about marrying me, and there were a couple of times when we almost talked ourselves into a crisis - I was thinking in panic "This is it, now is the moment he'll ask to break up", and every time he was like "What are you talking about? I don't want to break up, I'm just speaking my mind".
Should I let him go? Not that he is determined to - as my close friend once told me, if he wanted to go, he would. Also, this outcome scares the shit out of me financially and overall as a life decision - we've spent crucial years together as immigrants in a country where it's not particularly easy to secure your spot under the sun, and I can't afford living here alone and just sticking around for no reason. Also, we've changed each other a lot in other aspects of life and become a strong alliance with trust, open communication, a common outlook on life, and future vision - and I desperately want to keep it all. We want children (though the thought of trying to get pregnant for months and months gives me chills). My partner is generally going through a bit of a mid-life crisis and is currently reevaluating happiness and purpose, and I feel like I'll be the picket-fence version of calm and uneventful happiness with bland sex and friend-like connection that he will possibly settle for - but isn't it cruel to
Ace Flag Inspired Paper-cut
https://redd.it/1iwxzcy
@asexualityonreddit
“Imagine not being able to have sex!!!”
Okay last night I was out with some friends (for context people don’t generally know I’m ace) and this girl and I were talking about how grateful we were to be able bodied. It was a very nice conversation actually. In my mind, all I could think about was, “I’m so grateful to be able bodied to do my job and work out (I’m a gymnast and a coach)” and then she goes, “Just imagine if you weren’t able bodied and couldn’t have sex!” and she was so serious, of course, and I had to contain my laughter when I realized how different of a wavelength we were on in that specific moment 😂
https://redd.it/1iwo7jz
@asexualityonreddit
Really wish there was a way to remove the games section, I don't want to see this opening Netflix
https://redd.it/1iwlhdw
@asexualityonreddit
Fucking finally:
https://redd.it/1iwmskd
@asexualityonreddit
love this mug,,,
https://redd.it/1iwk1da
@asexualityonreddit
Am i alone in this?
https://redd.it/1iwfz01
@asexualityonreddit
Is there anything sub for sex-indifferent and sex-repulsed asexuals I can join? I don't like this sub anymore.
I initially joined this sub because I thought it was cool that there was a whole community of asexual people like me, but every time a post comes up on my feed, it's about sex. Not sexualities, but the act of sex. I'm a sex-indifferent demisexual whose been pretty sex-avoidant after a bad relationship where I was used for sex, and I'm tired of seeing it plastered all over this sub.
I don't feel welcome anymore. I thought I finally found a space that was sex-free. No more topics on sex, just talking about questioning sexualities, the ace spectrum, and fun stuff. But it's just. More. Sex. So is there another asexual sub where they don't talk about sex at all?
https://redd.it/1iwcina
@asexualityonreddit
I am really happy and comfortable in my asexuality. Here's some garlic bread for all the aces out there.
https://redd.it/1iw9wy3
@asexualityonreddit
can you know youre asexual from just being in one relationship?
ive been with my partner for 5 years. were both bi but were each others first relationships. the concept of sex is all fun and exciting but once were actually doing it, i get tired & bored and just cant wait for it to be over. i can never orgasm and at this point, it doesnt mean much to me and i could go years without it and i would feel fine about it. the concept in it of itself & intimacy are nice but the actual doing it part is just off putting and just does nothing for me. ive done stuff on my own and the buildup is fine but i could never come; i just get tired and give up because at some point it feels like a chore. it could also just be bad sex lol idk? were each others firsts & the only ones weve ever known so im not sure. can you know youre asexual or on the asexual spectrum from being in just one relationship? is it necessary to explore with other people to really know?
https://redd.it/1iw4mee
@asexualityonreddit
Send the capy everywhere
https://redd.it/1iw2qvm
@asexualityonreddit
Just how we like it
https://redd.it/1ixcfsk
@asexualityonreddit
DatingAsexual.com
Hey fellow aces,
If you’ve ever felt like mainstream dating apps just don’t get us, you’re not alone. Swiping endlessly through profiles filled with "looking for something casual" or being met with confusion (or worse, unwanted pressure) when you disclose you're asexual? Yeah, same.
That’s why we built DatingAsexual.com — a dating and community platform exclusively for aces and ace-spec folks. No need to explain yourself, no awkward conversations about why you’re not "just waiting for the right person" — just real, like-minded people who actually understand.
### What makes it different?
- Only vetted profiles – Every member is part of the asexual spectrum, so you won’t be bombarded by allo folks who don’t understand ace identities.
- Community-first approach – More than just dating; it’s also a space to meet queerplatonic partners, friends, and ace allies.
- No-pressure matches – Whether you’re looking for romance, companionship, or just good conversation, the platform respects your pace and boundaries.
- Filters that actually make sense – Find people based on their specific ace identity, romantic orientation, and comfort levels.
Would love to hear your thoughts! What features do you wish an ace dating platform had? And if you’ve had terrible experiences on mainstream apps, feel free to share (we’ve all been there).
Check it out at DatingAsexual.com and let’s build a space where we don’t have to explain ourselves — just connect.
https://redd.it/1ix83cn
@asexualityonreddit
Don't know if this was worth posting but made a poster in the size of a playing card. I'm thinking of hanging up on april 6th.
https://redd.it/1ix4une
@asexualityonreddit
both of us?
Or is it a phase that other couples have successfully gone through and found a way to accept the asexuality of one of the partners in a way that doesn't feel defunct and miserable? Seeking advice here, and your personal stories would be immensely helpful, too.
https://redd.it/1iwz9do
@asexualityonreddit
Title
https://redd.it/1iwxkkw
@asexualityonreddit
The "r/Asexuality and Men" Post Is… Problematic
The post I’ll be referring to is the following: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/1ivwgdw/rasexuality\_and\_men/
For the sake of intellectual honesty on my end, please give this post a fair hearing if you haven’t already, or at least do so before you read any further. In addition, I’ll be approaching this with the assumption that OP genuinely cares to build inclusive gender dynamics within the community. So I ask that NO ONE harass the original OP on behalf of this post. Anyways…
OP kicks off with two damning accusations toward the community:
1. That r/asexuality has failed to account for users who are men or AMAB and is primarily a woman’s space, given that most of its users are women or non-binary.
1. Worse than that, r/asexuality allows for the demonization of men, particularly allosexual men; that negative experiences with allosexual men have led to misandrist generalizations within the community.
Now, both of these claims have been rightfully disputed by numerous men in the comment section but first I want to point out that this post is obviously a response to two earlier posts (once again I’m using bullets):
1. u/partylikeyossarian’s post, who had, hours earlier, vented about their experiences with allosexual men. OP had even reported u/partylikeyossarian over this post.
1. A more controversial post from u/Possible-Departure87, whose venting was directed at the allonormative attitudes presented in a YouTube video.
It is MY specific intersectional identity that irked me into making this post to begin with (African-American, AroAce, AMAB, Agender). While we absolutely should not promote misandry, OP’s post plays on the same tune as “But white lives matter too”, where often the conversation is intentionally derailed away from the marginalized.
To illustrate, both aforementioned posts concern AFABs venting about their valid experiences with misogynist gender dynamics, and both are then dismissed by OP for the same reason: they don’t prioritize the potential discomfort of men. In response to AFABs opening up about their frustrations with patriarchy, there is the classic “not all men”, an attitude that stifles the voices and lived experiences of AFABs and drags the spotlight back towards men. Now, I used to be like this. I was once a “totally straight cisgender” adolescent who made the same talking points, and I’ve learned since then. So let me make two things something clear:
Women are not responsible for the feelings of men.
Men are not made of glass. They can handle critiques of male oppression. (As shown in the comment section, the men in this subreddit know that they are not the ones being referred to anyway)
While I can appreciate that the "r/Asexuality and Men" post has created a space for asexual AMABs to talk about their unique experiences with asexuality (and they should, asexual male voices are a bit underrepresented), we exist in a patriarchy. At the risk of speaking on behalf of all men, and as someone who’s AMAB and is male-presenting: allowing asexual women to voice their gripes should take priority over male discomfort.
https://redd.it/1iwsisv
@asexualityonreddit
I want to learn more about the diffent types of asexuals
Does anyone have a post or link to explain the difference in all of asexauls types?
https://redd.it/1iwpspl
@asexualityonreddit
Doctors Appointment Advice Needed
Fair warning: this post asks about Pap smears. If you’d rather not read, please skip by!
A question for my fellow asexual females: how do you deal with yearly physicals, specifically Pap smears? The nurses and doctors constantly telling you that you need a Pap smear, asking about your sexual health, are you pregnant, etc.? I’ve tried telling them that I’m not sexually active and there’s no way in hell I’m pregnant, but they just keep going (a med I’m on causes horrible birth defects so I get it, but like please believe me here). Even the questions make me uncomfortable. Once I tried telling the nurse that I was asexual but she didn’t know what that meant and it was even more embarrassing.
My first and last Pap smear was a little bit of a traumatic experience with me fainting and my doctor telling me I should play around with myself more so I’m more prepared for when I have sex, so I haven’t done a Pap smear since and would rather not. How do others deal with this bullshit?
https://redd.it/1iwo8it
@asexualityonreddit
Enjoy this thing I made instead of doing my accounting homework 🖤🩶🤍💜
https://redd.it/1iwm4ga
@asexualityonreddit
Can an asexual trust their partner with sex?
Hello, im a sex-repulsed, and i wanna Ask if there are some asexuals who has sex just bc they trust their partner with it? Bc i have Heard it somewhere on reddit, but like, its gone. I tried finding it but nowhere to be seen. So i came in to Ask, if there are asexuals out there who has sex just bc they trust their partner? And how does it differ from sexual attraction? ( Idk what im Even saying )
I would like to know. Thank you!
https://redd.it/1iwdntr
@asexualityonreddit
A 9 tailed fox I drew, with ace pride flag colors!
https://redd.it/1iwdyro
@asexualityonreddit
Feel like my aesthetic attraction is too strong to be aesthetic attraction.
I find myself fascinated by people, I find their looks very interesting and to be cute/beautiful/hot etc. Almost to a point where I can’t stop looking at them. Almost as if they were so good looking I couldn’t look away, like breath taken. I think at most part what id wanna do to them is to get to know them as a friend, and that would be it
I don’t find myself wanting to have sex, or date them etc. It makes me feel so fake though at the same time
I also struggle with ocd symptoms and have imposter syndrome so it could be just that if that helps. I feel fake as hell and I know it’s aesthetic attraction but jeez I have no idea how it’s like to want to fuck another human being lmao.
I also identify as demiromantic and straight so I like women but not sexually. Help a brother out 😭🙏
https://redd.it/1iw949z
@asexualityonreddit
Asexuals represented on media
I saw a trans character depicted on a game I play. Some people were happy to get themselves represented in the game, while other people were expressing repulsion.
I haven't seen an asexual character depicted in media like this. I'm not sure if it's good or bad thing.
Some part of me is jealous that others LGBTs are seen and acknowledged their existence. The other part of me is relieved that aces don't have to face the hate they get in response. I want to be seen and accepted, but I'm scared of the phobic responses I might receive.
https://redd.it/1iw7f5d
@asexualityonreddit
how did your family/friends react when you came out?
i’m 17 (18 tmr) and i plan on getting a little ace pride tattoo on my wrist. i’ve known i was asexual since middle school, and i have no doubts.
im just wondering how yalls people reacted when you came out. do you think it was similar to if you had come out as queer/trans? did they not really care much?
i just want to have a guess of what to expect bc im in a christian conservative house and all that. thanks! <3 have a lovely day mwah
https://redd.it/1ivy1nm
@asexualityonreddit
Send the capy everywhere
https://redd.it/1iw0pki
@asexualityonreddit